[HN Gopher] Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Procrastination and the fear of not being good enough
        
       Author : swapxstar
       Score  : 240 points
       Date   : 2024-11-10 17:23 UTC (5 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (swapnilchauhan.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (swapnilchauhan.com)
        
       | DeepYogurt wrote:
       | Getting started is the hardest step. Thank you for sharing!
        
       | codemogul wrote:
       | How do you eat an elephant? Small bites.
       | 
       | When everything seems like a elephant... start with small bites.
       | 
       | And get a good way into the elephant before you start measuring
       | how well you are doing the eating.
        
       | bluecoconut wrote:
       | Worrying what others think resonates with me a lot. Every few
       | weeks I try to motivate myself to write more online (HN, X,
       | blogs) and consistently get "self sabotage" stuck. (Been going on
       | for >2 years)
       | 
       | The article just says they pushed through and "put it aside", but
       | that has never seemed to quite work for me. I can push through
       | once or twice, not enough to build a daily habit/obsession like I
       | want.
       | 
       | Anyone have any tips that worked for getting over this hurdle?
        
         | deathtrader666 wrote:
         | I always remind myself that even the celebrated works
         | supposedly have glaring holes in them. If they can get popular
         | and be cherished, then my work too doesn't have to be "water-
         | tight" at all times.
        
         | bee_rider wrote:
         | I have no idea if it will help, but the amount of nitpicking I
         | see when people post things online is much more than the amount
         | of nitpicking I've seen in the actual PhD defenses I've
         | attended, or the research paper peer reviews I've gotten back.
         | Of course, it is always possible that you'll bump into, like,
         | the one person who has much more experience than most
         | professors in a topic, on the Internet. Alternatively, maybe
         | the professors, being experts, can find the positive
         | contribution in imperfect projects.
        
         | akomtu wrote:
         | Write under a pseudonym?
        
         | phito wrote:
         | It might be your unconscious deciding that it's not worth
         | doing? Posting things online is rather useless and often brings
         | more negatives than positives.
        
         | matwood wrote:
         | It took me way too long to realize this but most people don't
         | think or care about you. I'm not saying this in a bad way, but
         | only worry about those that matter like your family and
         | friends. No one else thinks about you anyway, so don't
         | preoccupy yourself worrying about what they think.
        
           | adriand wrote:
           | Also: accept that what you make is ephemeral. No one pauses
           | in the middle of building a sand castle on the beach and
           | wonders if their sand-sculpting skills are adequate. Anything
           | you make, even if it becomes one of humanity's most cherished
           | works (extremely unlikely!) is not going to be here for very
           | long. So enjoy the process, put it out in the world, and
           | maybe a person or two will appreciate it before the waves
           | wash it away.
        
           | swapxstar wrote:
           | Yes, I think I am starting to realise that. And that is
           | really helpful in this journey.
        
         | JumpinJack_Cash wrote:
         | > > Every few weeks I try to motivate myself to write more
         | online
         | 
         | Bro run! Spending time online is a sign of depression. And even
         | if you are among the few in which this isn't true (which I
         | doubt) talking and writing about stuff way above your head (not
         | in the IQ sense but about stuff you have no control over) will
         | get your there.
        
         | e1gen-v wrote:
         | Do you actually enjoy the process of writing online?
         | 
         | Because for me I've realized there's a difference between
         | enjoying actually doing a hobby versus just fantasizing about
         | what it would be like to be good at it.
         | 
         | Maybe that's not what you're experiencing, but I've tried to
         | get into hobbies and have run into the feeling you describe.
         | Eventually I would drop the hobby because I just didn't enjoy
         | doing it.
         | 
         | Ps congrats on writing online :)
        
           | bluecoconut wrote:
           | I like writing to myself / talking to myself... but I'm
           | trying to convert that internal captured thought / language
           | into brand value and useful information in a wider contexts.
           | 
           | Good points about recognizing the fantasy of doing something
           | vs. the actual work might be part of this.
           | 
           | also, lol meta, thanks!
        
           | swapxstar wrote:
           | I don't think I have figured out whether I enjoy the process
           | of writing itself.
           | 
           | But what I know for sure is that I have a lot of thoughts and
           | ideas as well as opinions and the idea of putting them down
           | and expanding upon them really really intrigues me.
           | 
           | I also believe that it will really help grow.
        
         | mfscholar wrote:
         | If you're looking to set up a habit cycle, I'd recommend three
         | steps:
         | 
         | 1. Find a cue that will remind you to start writing, e.g.
         | having your morning coffee
         | 
         | 2. Write any amount of time; say 30min or so
         | 
         | 3. Reward yourself. I just have a little snack, but it could be
         | anything
         | 
         | Works great for me, and I found once I changed some small
         | habits, it was also easier to do better overall. This advice is
         | from the book "The power of habit" by Charles Dhuigg
        
           | detourdog wrote:
           | My writing prompt is HN. I wait until I see a prompt to
           | respond to.
        
         | sshine wrote:
         | > _Anyone have any tips that worked for getting over this
         | hurdle?_
         | 
         | Since nobody suggested this:
         | 
         | Write for yourself, locally. This removed my writer's block.
         | 
         | After writing for myself for about a year, I blogged
         | consistently for two years.
         | 
         | I've since lost the kadence and want to get back to it, but now
         | priorities have come in the way.
         | 
         | Now I usually write for my local tech community.
         | 
         | I know there's a dozen people who like to learn things if
         | there's an easy way. That motivates me a lot
         | 
         | There's another hurdle of having a clear idea of the target
         | audience; when you're the target audience, it gets a little
         | fuzzy. So it has helped me to think of either "what I'd like to
         | read 6 months from now if I had to learn this after partially
         | forgetting it". Or someone else concrete I'm not actually
         | obligated to share my writing with. Just so I can aim my
         | writing better.
        
           | bluecoconut wrote:
           | I write for myself a lot, roughly ~5000 words a day in notes,
           | messages to self, etc. I have no problem writing and talking
           | to myself.
           | 
           | It's the editing process and formalizing it for public
           | consumption.
           | 
           | Either, the actual work of doing the cleanup feels too labor
           | intensive, or I've already moved onto the next obsession, and
           | am chasing that new idea.
           | 
           | Do you have a process for turning the local writing into more
           | public writing?
        
             | james_marks wrote:
             | At the risk of sounding LLM-obsessed, this sounds like a
             | great use-case for Claude.
             | 
             | Even when your input is incoherent, it's often enough to
             | get the AI in the right direction, and then it's easier to
             | edit.
        
             | kccqzy wrote:
             | I think what blurs the line between local writing and
             | public writing is that you just publish it after minimal
             | editing with no fanfare. No RSS feeds for people to
             | subscribe to. No posting on HN or Reddit where plenty of
             | people are judgmental. Just make it public. If people
             | chance upon it let them read it; just don't purposefully
             | attract people to read it.
        
             | swapxstar wrote:
             | That's really cool that you can write like that, I would
             | really like to know more about how and what you mean by
             | write for myself writing.
             | 
             | Can you share more about what you write?
        
         | mch82 wrote:
         | Focus on your docs, code, and blog because they're under your
         | control. Write for yourself. Write for the people who use your
         | work. Publish smaller chunks of work. Add value to your real
         | network.
         | 
         | X, HN, and other socials are far less important. You have no
         | control over whether the algorithm decides to amplify your
         | content. Most work that's foundational to society isn't popular
         | on socials today and won't ever be. There's a lottery chance
         | you'll get picked for amplification. Winning that lottery is
         | great, but playing the lottery is not investing in your future.
        
         | luckydata wrote:
         | Keep doing it until you get better at it. Not caring about what
         | others think is a skill.
        
         | ncr100 wrote:
         | Ask for AI to help be your writing buddy?
         | 
         | Not for content, but for process?
        
         | hop_n_bop wrote:
         | The Pomodoro technique works well. Set a timer for 15 minutes,
         | and focus only on your writing for until the timer goes off; or
         | longer if you like.
        
           | bayofpigs wrote:
           | Love Pomodoro timers so much had AI make an web app to link
           | them together. You can customize and use it here:
           | https://1recipe.com.
        
             | dageshi wrote:
             | bayofpigs, I feel it necessary to tell you that your
             | account seems to be shadowbanned? Like 80% of your comments
             | have been [dead]/not shown since your account creation in
             | 2013 and as far as I can see there appears to be no good
             | reason for it? The majority of comments in your history
             | seem entirely reasonable.
        
         | godelski wrote:
         | You might be burnt out.
        
         | dartos wrote:
         | I recently started a blog after having the same feeling for
         | years.
         | 
         | What changed for me was accepting that my posts aren't going to
         | be polished and it's okay if they don't front page HN.
         | 
         | I just jot down notes, organize them in an outline and publish
         | it.
         | 
         | I figure eventually, as I feel more comfortable with it, I'll
         | polish up my posts more and more.
        
         | tolerance wrote:
         | I feel this. Here are some thoughts I've had that have allowed
         | me to toss one leg over the hurdle we share.
         | 
         | * Limit your self-promotion: If you feel unnerved by the
         | criticism of the opaque masses of the internet (e.g. Hacker
         | News) then do not present your work to them. If you absolutely
         | must share your writing with anyone, why not share it with
         | people who you actually know? Rather, don't self-promote at
         | all, _share_ your work with people who embody the readers who
         | you had in mind upon writing it.
         | 
         | Which leads to my next thought...
         | 
         | * Unless you are representing some sort of institution that the
         | public trusts and you are obliged to sustain this trust, why
         | write with the public (read: the opaque masses of the internet)
         | in mind at all. The "reader who you have in mind" while writing
         | is the equivalent of the "dream spouse" who you may have
         | imagined: They just so happen to possess all of the virtues
         | that coincidentally complement your own and all of their faults
         | are can be conveniently managed within your scope of reasoning.
         | The good thing about the reader/writer relationship is that it
         | is inherently polygamous so feel free to write for yourself and
         | for yourself alone and whichever readers fit the description
         | that you have envisaged in your mind to whatever degrees will
         | be drawn to what you have to say accordingly and if it doesn't
         | work out then there's always someone else, somewhere, who fits
         | the description of someone who one way or another is just a
         | kind of living complement to your own personality. Such is I
         | suppose a component of romance in man's sojourn on earth.
         | 
         | The blog posts that inspire me to write the most are the one's
         | that are impersonally personable. Writing that is obviously
         | written by a human being who is sharing their experiences but
         | in a way that is totally indifferent to my own interests. That
         | isn't to say that it comes across as self-absorbed but that it
         | is like the behaviors among children on the school yard. He's
         | playing jacks. He's spinning tops. They're playing four square.
         | They're beating each other into a pulp along the tree lines.
         | But no one's doing so as if they intend for me want to join in.
         | 
         | The blog posts that I find the most boring read as though they
         | presume an audience and are even written in a way that presumes
         | scathing criticism from said audience. A lot writers have
         | become dispossessed of their ability to express themselves in
         | earnest ways because of this. I don't necessarily fault the
         | opaque mass of humans who express a wide range of reactions to
         | the thoughts of others because society is not a monoculture in
         | spite of efforts toward the contrary.
         | 
         | If you are writing just to "build a brand" but the process
         | isn't clicking internally maybe it's your spirit resisting the
         | sociopathic impulses of your carnal desires. A lot of lifeless
         | blogs I come across are such because I feel like I can sense
         | that they are writing only to gain an audience who can raise
         | their capital. So while the content may be informative it is
         | lifeless and I feel little sympathy when a reader criticizes
         | the author's work in a way that is indifferent to the spirit of
         | the author and the author feels dismayed. It's not that your
         | intended audience is revolting against you. You haven't even
         | told them who you are. They are rejecting your business or your
         | pining for employment that you have woven into your
         | interpersonal communications.
         | 
         | And good for them!
        
         | nox101 wrote:
         | for me it's not fear of being good enough. it's that for me a
         | blog post takes 4 to 20 hours. 4 if it's just text. Write,
         | rewrite, proofread, etc. 20 if I need to draw diagrams or make
         | examples.
         | 
         | if it's just a paragraph of thought then it might as well be on
         | social media
        
         | mips_avatar wrote:
         | I think maybe polish is getting in the way. There's so many
         | really beautiful blog posts out there, well researched, and the
         | author can represent themselves as an expert. But more often
         | than not the really deeply true information I tend to find is a
         | quick little hacker news comment written quickly.
         | 
         | Now a hacker news comment can only contain so much, so sharing
         | your truth a little broader might require some additional
         | medium (graphics, code example, video) but you can clearly
         | articulate yourself well in a HN comment, so maybe think of the
         | blogs as just a little more than a HN comment?
        
         | caseyy wrote:
         | > Anyone have any tips that worked for getting over this
         | hurdle?
         | 
         | This might give you something to work with:
         | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=42102050. Maybe you're
         | confusing natural and reasonable behaviour with self-sabotage?
         | They look the same from some perspectives (such as
         | perfectionism and people-pleasing).
        
         | Sparkyte wrote:
         | Sometimes I feel like someone already wrote what I am writing
         | and it doesn't feel good to just work on something I know could
         | be critiqued hard because an alternative exists.
        
         | hinkley wrote:
         | Hemingway said once that the trick to getting writing done was
         | to stop writing when you know what happens next.
         | 
         | Other writers have talked about being compelled to write to get
         | an idea out of their head that's stuck there. I think they're
         | much the same thing. You're essentially leaving yourself in
         | that obsessed state until you can sit down again.
         | 
         | If you try to sit down with just a long term goal in mind
         | you're torturing yourself. And likely creating negative
         | reinforcement of future stuckness. Write the bit in front of
         | you, pause when you have an idea what's next, not when you run
         | out of steam.
        
         | neofrommatrix wrote:
         | Does the fear of judgment occur even when you are behind an
         | anonymous username?
        
         | achempion wrote:
         | If you need to force yourself to write, why write at all? Did
         | you use any technique to write this comment?
        
         | tame3902 wrote:
         | > Worrying what others think resonates with me a lot.
         | 
         | - There are lots of blog posts and youtube videos about this
         | topic. Try whether any will help you.
         | 
         | - If you post, go down the rabbit hole of your thoughts. What
         | will happen? Keep going with "and then" as far as possible.
         | Then replace negative thoughts with more positive ones. Those
         | have to be believable and not just blindly positive. E.g.
         | replacing "everybody will hate this" with "a lot of people will
         | hate this, but some will really enjoy it" is already progress.
         | 
         | - As a child, did you have a caregiver or teacher that gave you
         | the feeling that if you make mistakes, they will stop loving
         | you? Make it clear to your adult self that you are deserving of
         | love no matter what.
         | 
         | - Do you have types of writing which are easy for you? No
         | matter the answer, why is that?
         | 
         | - Create something intentionally bad without publishing it, and
         | sit with your bad feelings for a while. Usually that reduces
         | the anxiety.
         | 
         | - If you post something, explore your feelings. Is that like
         | nervousness before an exam, general anxiety or something
         | completely different. This might give you a clue, why you
         | struggle.
         | 
         | - Imagine a friend would come to you with this problem. What
         | advice would you give them? How would you react to something
         | you posted if somebody else wrote it?
         | 
         | - Be kind to yourself. Changing this is a long journey.
        
         | almatabata wrote:
         | One thing that helped me was accepting that it is not that I
         | might fail but that I will fail initially.
         | 
         | I will produce bad articles because to become good you have to
         | start with your current skill level which probably sucks if you
         | are average. To become good you have to write. Nothing beats
         | actually doing it. But knowing that everyone published
         | something stupid at some point helps me accept that I will also
         | go through that process as well. Everyone failed, everyone will
         | fail and it is fine to fail.
         | 
         | And no matter how good you become you will still fail from time
         | to time. You never graduate from it. Look at the famous movie
         | directors, writers and journalists. Are all their works great?
         | Is each of their work always better than the previous ones? Of
         | course not. Some works will be amazing and insightful, some
         | might be mediocre. Even the very best will have their ups and
         | downs, so why not you?
         | 
         | Each time I publish a post I already accept it might be subpar.
        
       | protoman3000 wrote:
       | From own experience I can say:
       | 
       | Forget about trying to change this from the perspective of
       | thoughts. Cognitively understanding that you should "just" stop
       | worrying about what other people think about your work might not
       | bring you far.
       | 
       | Instead, realize that anxiety is a bodily phenomenon and as such
       | needs to be addressed with the body. That means: Breathing
       | techniques, exercise etc.
        
         | JumpinJack_Cash wrote:
         | > > That means: Breathing techniques, exercise etc.
         | 
         | It also means alcohol, drugs, shrooms, ketamine, MDMA, Research
         | Chemicals, uppers, downers, amplifier substances , smoothering
         | substances, focus enhancers, dissociatives...
         | 
         | I mean the modern society seems like coming up with some trends
         | such as the war on drugs, the vice taxes and all the
         | patronizing BS, only to discover that there is a reason why
         | those things exist and we indulged in them for as long as we
         | have been around in the first place
        
           | fourier54 wrote:
           | while they do have therapeutic effects (some, I wouldn't say
           | alcohol does), I don't think they should be proposed as
           | methods to relax stress. Too many downsides and are not
           | sustainable as regularly used substances. Yes you do feel
           | great in a night of MDMA but the feelings you have the
           | following days almost negate the positive aspects.
        
           | reubenmorais wrote:
           | I think some of those substances can have positive in a very
           | narrow set of circumstances. Being vigilant and only using
           | them in those scenarios can be just as hard as the hard
           | solutions you were avoiding in the first place, like sleep,
           | diet, exercise, cleaning up your routine, etc. I'll add some
           | color on how some of those can go wrong, hopefully this saves
           | someone else from having to learn it first hand:
           | 
           | Alcohol - messes up your sleep, without which your mind will
           | never be operating as clearly as it could. If you frequently
           | mix it with other substances, it'll also turn into a trigger,
           | making you crave said substances every time you have a drink.
           | Use with moderation.
           | 
           | Shrooms - these are really nice, but like most psychoactive
           | substances, they'll definitely get in the way of focusing on
           | _hard_ tasks. Doing something fun gets more fun with shrooms,
           | doing something hard gets harder. Use with moderation.
           | Indulge, don 't escape. I'd give the same advice about LSD.
           | 
           | Ketamine - has an extremely broad profile of effects
           | depending on dosage. You can mitigate this a bit by correctly
           | measuring and dissolving it in nasal spray, but even then
           | tolerance builds up very quickly and you end up compensating
           | by doing more. It has a small dosage window where it'll be an
           | indulging drug, just adding a pleasurable shift to your
           | perceptions, but then as soon as you go over that window, it
           | will turn you into a little dissociated zombie, unable to
           | hold an interesting conversation with someone who isn't on
           | the same ballpark of high as you are. It can cause serious
           | damage to your urinary tract. Indulge, don't escape. Try to
           | use once per month at most.
           | 
           | MDMA - can be amazing at low dosages, but evidence indicates
           | it is neurotoxic in most doses you'll run into in parties.
           | When it starts to come down you _will_ want to do more, so if
           | you 're trying to be careful make sure you have measures to
           | prevent you from doing so. Hangovers can be brutal, specially
           | on higher doses. At higher doses it'll make you confused and
           | mess up with your short term memory, but your social
           | confidence will still stay high, so you can turn into an
           | obnoxious person rambling about something for the third time
           | in half an hour to whoever is unlucky to be nearby. Indulge
           | with a lot of caution, don't escape. Use lower doses. Give it
           | a 3 month break between uses.
           | 
           | Research chemicals - unless you are the researcher, stay away
           | from these. Some drugs have very different effects to others
           | that are chemically very similar and often impossible to
           | differentiate with standard test kits you'll be able to buy
           | and use without being a chemist. Reliable information on
           | their effects, dosage, interactions is difficult or
           | impossible to find -- not only for you, but also for your EMT
           | or doctor, in case you need medical assistance.
           | 
           | Uppers - addictive, can cause re-dosing, will fuck up your
           | sleep and your appetite. Suppress orgasms (and often
           | erections). Stress your heart muscles and your arteries and
           | veins. When taken for productivity, will give you short-term
           | gains that turn into holes you'll need several weeks to dig
           | yourself out of. Use with extreme caution.
           | 
           | Amplifier substances - in my experience, there's no such
           | thing. You can do substance X today and have an amazing
           | "amplified" time, and then do the same dose again a week
           | later in a different setting and have a real bad time,
           | constantly in your head, seeing the negative interpretation
           | of everything. The things which make it more likely for a
           | substance to be an amplifier can't be fixed with more
           | substances: how well are you sleeping, eating, exercising?
           | Are you mulling over some difficult conversation instead of
           | just having it? Are you surrounded by people you like who are
           | good to you?
        
         | srid wrote:
         | Going from the cognitive to physical is a big jump, because you
         | get to entirely ignore the _affective_ which is the spanner in
         | works.
         | 
         | In regards to anxiety, this is what works best for me:
         | https://actualism.app/
        
       | umutisik wrote:
       | Great observation. I have observed the same thing in my own life.
       | 
       | The solution: do things that you really believe people need. Then
       | you owe it to them to find out if you actually are "good enough",
       | and you don't care what others think because all you care about
       | is whether the people who need it are happy with it.
        
       | adamnemecek wrote:
       | Or you just don't want to do it.
        
       | bbor wrote:
       | If I had to sum up the reason in one word, it would be laziness.
       | 
       | Wild to read this from a modern perspective. It's like reading
       | about women being shamed for being 'hysterical', or religious
       | peasants blaming their natural sexual feelings on demons. It just
       | doesn't hold up to scrutiny...
       | 
       | What is 'laziness' when applied to something that you clearly
       | _want_ to do? How can someone want something, yet simultaneously
       | choose to not want it? Turns out the answer is simple, and the
       | nerds have known it since 1801[1]: you don 't exist. Your
       | continuous, unified self is an illusion brought about for
       | instrumental reasons.
       | 
       | Treat yourself like a system to be optimized, not an ineffable
       | soul to be brought away from vice through logic. If you were
       | tasked with improving a malfunctioning software system, you'd be
       | laughed out of the room for starting with "well, clearly, the
       | system is just sinful, and choosing to make mistakes."
       | 
       | [1]: Immanuel Kant, _The Critique of Pure Reason_ , Chapter
       | I.2.II.1: "Of the Paralogisms of Pure Reason"                 Now
       | to these conceptions relate four paralogisms of a transcendental
       | psychology, which is falsely held to be a science of pure reason,
       | touching the nature of our thinking being. We can, however, lay
       | at the foundation of this science nothing but the simple and in
       | itself perfectly contentless representation "i" which cannot even
       | be called a conception, but merely a consciousness which
       | accompanies all conceptions. By this "I," or "He," or "It," who
       | or which thinks, nothing more is represented than a
       | transcendental subject of thought = x, which is cognized only by
       | means of the thoughts that are its predicates, and of which,
       | apart from these, we cannot form the least conception. Hence in a
       | perpetual circle, inasmuch as we must always employ it, in order
       | to frame any judgement respecting it. And this inconvenience we
       | find it impossible to rid ourselves of, because consciousness in
       | itself is not so much a representation distinguishing a
       | particular object, as a form of representation in general, in so
       | far as it may be termed cognition; for in and by cognition alone
       | do I think anything.
       | 
       | https://www.gutenberg.org/files/4280/4280-h/4280-h.htm#chap7...
       | 
       | For the more empirically minded that are understandably resistant
       | to such an unnatural conception, try to find discussions of
       | "laziness" in these articles. I'd be surprised:
       | 
       | https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/executive-function
       | 
       | https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/23224-executi...
       | 
       | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_dysfunction
        
         | MrMetric wrote:
         | It's unfortunate that I had to scroll to the bottom of the page
         | to see any mention of ADHD or executive dysfunction, when the
         | linked post describes what is clearly a form of executive
         | dysfunction! Instant temporary treatment is a stimulant such as
         | caffeine (which has annoying side-effects) or amphetamine salts
         | (commonly known as adderall). Long-term treatment is exercize,
         | which can be as simple as balancing on one leg for ten minutes
         | every day or using an elliptical machine. Running outside is a
         | decent option, but take care to avoid damaging the knees, which
         | _will_ happen by running on hard surfaces.
         | 
         | Dr. Russell Barkley has good explanations of what different
         | prescription ADHD drugs do, which I find gives insight into
         | what's going wrong when you have an executive dysfunction:
         | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnS0PfNyj4U
         | 
         | In particular, the emotional blunting effect of stimulants
         | erases the thought that what you do might not be good enough.
         | You no longer care about what others think, so you can just do
         | what you want to do. I personally find this also makes me a
         | callous asshole if I'm not careful, which I believe is related
         | to the modern epidemic of coffee zombies.
        
         | rustcleaner wrote:
         | Nothing like righteousness to justify poor social behavior.
         | Humans have this tendency, which is why sick people are 'lazy'
         | and society is punitively oriented for behavior correction and
         | norm reinforcement.
        
       | luckydata wrote:
       | I just want to appreciate how the author used the sane "fear of
       | not being good enough" instead of the idiotic "impostor syndrome"
       | that everyone uses to mean the same.
        
         | grugagag wrote:
         | What's wrong with impostor syndrome? Perhaps overused term but
         | that for a good reason, many people are battling the same
         | insecurities while others are confident on hot air. Very few
         | have a backing for being confident.
        
         | cortesoft wrote:
         | "Imposter syndrome" is just the term we have given to "fear of
         | not being good enough". What is wrong with coming up with a
         | term for that fear?
        
       | atmavatar wrote:
       | While hard work may pay off in the future, laziness _always_ pays
       | off _now_ :)
        
         | loopdoend wrote:
         | Even if the "future" is say, 5 minutes away. I procrastinate
         | about the dumbest, smallest shit.
        
         | caseyy wrote:
         | And laziness in a way is very natural and healthy. Resting,
         | digesting, being present is boon to longevity, vitality, and
         | creativity. Mindless production has been put on a pedestal too
         | much in recent years.
        
         | justsomehnguy wrote:
         | Lazuness is a tool, thats why I'm on the 10th year implementing
         | a _simple_ script
        
       | pessimizer wrote:
       | Perfectionism is a problem that a lot of us have, and it stops us
       | from failing enough times to perfect ourselves. Finishing a
       | failure is a success. Somebody reading your blog entry and hating
       | it is successfully attracting a reader. Somebody telling you how
       | terrible something you wrote was is successfully attracting a
       | reader and inspiring a reaction.
       | 
       | If the substance of the bad review _hurts_ , it means you've
       | communicated something clearly enough that it was easy to pick
       | apart. If you understand and accept the criticism about how you
       | were wrong, now you have a better chance of being _right._
       | 
       | This is Hillary Rettig's specialty; she largely focuses on being
       | kind to yourself, and getting out of your own ass. The world
       | isn't ending when you fail.
       | 
       | https://hillaryrettigproductivity.com/the-seven-secrets-of-t...
        
       | bsenftner wrote:
       | Our industry really needs to learn about about self conversation
       | audits:
       | 
       | An ever present sense of pressure, feeling imposter syndrome and
       | that bleeding into self criticism and anxiety is 100% fixable,
       | and this information needs to be much wider distributed within
       | society.
       | 
       | Dr. Aaron Beck and Dr. David Burns introduced the concept of
       | "cognitive distortions" - they identified various methods humans
       | use to lie and deceive themselves in their self conversations.
       | 
       | Dr. Burns publishing of a book titled "Feeling Good" that kick
       | started the entire Cognitive Therapy movement, which is the idea
       | that one can talk themselves out of unhappiness with the right
       | guidance.
       | 
       | It is all about learning how to identify self deception; once one
       | learns how to be truthful in your own self conversation, the
       | emotions and unrealistic expectations fall away leaving a more
       | stable and logical individual.
       | 
       | Here's a summery, but be careful searching this topic online as
       | the "fraudster community" loves to prey on people seeking self
       | help information.
       | 
       | Filtering. We take the negative details and magnify them while
       | filtering out all positive aspects of a situation. For instance,
       | a person may pick out a single, unpleasant detail and dwell on it
       | exclusively so that their vision of reality becomes darkened or
       | distorted.
       | 
       | Polarized Thinking (or "Black and White" Thinking). In polarized
       | thinking, things are either "black-or-white." We have to be
       | perfect or we're a failure -- there is no middle ground. You
       | place people or situations in "either/or" categories, with no
       | shades of gray or allowing for the complexity of most people and
       | situations. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see
       | yourself as a total failure.
       | 
       | Overgeneralization. In this cognitive distortion, we come to a
       | general conclusion based on a single incident or a single piece
       | of evidence. If something bad happens only once, we expect it to
       | happen over and over again. A person may see a single, unpleasant
       | event as part of a never-ending pattern of defeat.
       | 
       | Jumping to Conclusions. Without individuals saying so, we know
       | what they are feeling and why they act the way they do. In
       | particular, we are able to determine how people are feeling
       | toward us. For example, a person may conclude that someone is
       | reacting negatively toward them but doesn't actually bother to
       | find out if they are correct. Another example is a person may
       | anticipate that things will turn out badly, and will feel
       | convinced that their prediction is already an established fact.
       | 
       | Catastrophizing. We expect disaster to strike, no matter what.
       | This is also referred to as "magnifying or minimizing." We hear
       | about a problem and use what if questions (e.g., "What if tragedy
       | strikes?" "What if it happens to me?"). For example, a person
       | might exaggerate the importance of insignificant events (such as
       | their mistake, or someone else's achievement). Or they may
       | inappropriately shrink the magnitude of significant events until
       | they appear tiny (for example, a person's own desirable qualities
       | or someone else's imperfections).
       | 
       | Personalization. Personalization is a distortion where a person
       | believes that everything others do or say is some kind of direct,
       | personal reaction to the person. We also compare ourselves to
       | others trying to determine who is smarter, better looking, etc. A
       | person engaging in personalization may also see themselves as the
       | cause of some unhealthy external event that they were not
       | responsible for. For example, "We were late to the dinner party
       | and caused the hostess to overcook the meal. If I had only pushed
       | my husband to leave on time, this wouldn't have happened."
       | 
       | Control Fallacies. If we feel externally controlled, we see
       | ourselves as helpless a victim of fate. For example, "I can't
       | help it if the quality of the work is poor, my boss demanded I
       | work overtime on it." The fallacy of internal control has us
       | assuming responsibility for the pain and happiness of everyone
       | around us. For example, "Why aren't you happy? Is it because of
       | something I did?"
       | 
       | Fallacy of Fairness. We feel resentful because we think we know
       | what is fair, but other people won't agree with us. As our
       | parents tell us when we're growing up and something doesn't go
       | our way, "Life isn't always fair." People who go through life
       | applying a measuring ruler against every situation judging its
       | "fairness" will often feel badly and negative because of it.
       | Because life isn't "fair" -- things will not always work out in
       | your favor, even when you think they should.
       | 
       | Blaming. We hold other people responsible for our pain, or take
       | the other track and blame ourselves for every problem. For
       | example, "Stop making me feel bad about myself!" Nobody can
       | "make" us feel any particular way -- only we have control over
       | our own emotions and emotional reactions.
       | 
       | Shoulds. We have a list of ironclad rules about how others and we
       | should behave. People who break the rules make us angry, and we
       | feel guilty when we violate these rules. A person may often
       | believe they are trying to motivate themselves with shoulds and
       | shouldn'ts, as if they have to be punished before they can do
       | anything. For example, "I really should exercise. I shouldn't be
       | so lazy." Musts and oughts are also offenders. The emotional
       | consequence is guilt. When a person directs should statements
       | toward others, they often feel anger, frustration and resentment.
       | 
       | Emotional Reasoning. We believe that what we feel must be true
       | automatically. If we feel stupid and boring, then we must be
       | stupid and boring. You assume that your unhealthy emotions
       | reflect he way things really are -- "I feel it, therefore it must
       | be true."
       | 
       | Fallacy of Change. We expect that other people will change to
       | suit us if we just pressure or cajole them enough. We need to
       | change people because our hopes for happiness seem to depend
       | entirely on them.
       | 
       | Global Labeling. We generalize one or two qualities into a
       | negative global judgment. These are extreme forms of
       | generalizing, and are also referred to as "labeling" and
       | "mislabeling." Instead of describing an error in context of a
       | specific situation, a person will attach an unhealthy label to
       | themselves. For example, they may say, "I'm a loser" in a
       | situation where they failed at a specific task. When someone
       | else's behavior rubs a person the wrong way, they may attach an
       | unhealthy label to him, such as "He's a real jerk." Mislabeling
       | involves describing an event with language that is highly colored
       | and emotionally loaded. For example, instead of saying someone
       | drops her children off at daycare every day, a person who is
       | mislabeling might say that "she abandons her children to
       | strangers."
       | 
       | Always Being Right. We are continually on trial to prove that our
       | opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and
       | we will go to any length to demonstrate our rightness. For
       | example, "I don't care how badly arguing with me makes you feel,
       | I'm going to win this argument no matter what because I'm right."
       | Being right often is more important than the feelings of others
       | around a person who engages in this cognitive distortion, even
       | loved ones.
       | 
       | Heaven's Reward Fallacy. We expect our sacrifice and self-denial
       | to pay off, as if someone is keeping score. We feel bitter when
       | the reward doesn't come.
       | 
       | References:
       | 
       | Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive therapies and emotional disorders.
       | New York: New American Library. Burns, D. D. (2012).
       | 
       | Feeling good: The new mood therapy. New York: New American
       | Library. Leahy, R.L. (2017).
       | 
       | Cognitive Therapy Techniques, Second Edition: A Practitioner's
       | Guide. New York: Guilford Press. McKay, M. & Fanning, P. (2016).
       | 
       | Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for
       | Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem. New York:
       | New Harbinger Publications.
        
       | caseyy wrote:
       | The author might be struggling with people-pleasing and
       | perfectionist tendencies.
       | 
       | People-pleasers often do things because other people would like
       | them more if they did these things. As such, the reward for work
       | like writing a blog article is positive external
       | reinforcement/approval or minimising the risk of confrontation,
       | disapproval, or even aggression. If their work pleases few people
       | (not enough readers), they may feel like it wasn't worth doing,
       | or if their work attracts criticism, they may feel guilt or shame
       | for doing it. Fear of these consequences fuels procrastination.
       | 
       | Writing should be about the innate purpose of writing. It is to
       | learn, to express yourself, to communicate. If one wishes to do
       | these things, then there is almost never procrastination, as
       | these actions always bring only positive rewards. There is no
       | negative outcome to learning, to expressing yourself in written
       | form, and communicating. Sure, the type of things you learn,
       | express, or communicate could bring some negative consequences,
       | but those actions on their own do not. They bring good results
       | and feel good to do.
       | 
       | Perfectionism exaggerates the expectations one would put on
       | themselves and their work. So people-pleasing may become people-
       | impressing, people-delighting, and people-sweeping-off-their-
       | feet. Anything less may bring the shame, guilt, and
       | disappointment, and then "procrastination" becomes pretty much
       | guaranteed. Because it's not really procrastination, it is a
       | natural and very rational decision to not engage in activities
       | that would bring only a bad outcome. Humans, generally, really
       | don't want to hurt themselves. We learn not to touch the hot
       | stove, just as we learn to not do things that don't meet our
       | (sometimes delusional high) expectations.
       | 
       | Everything in procrastination is a lot more logical and
       | explainable than it may seem. People-pleasing/conflict avoidance
       | + perfectionism combo is common in tech workers. This has taken
       | me decades to learn, now it helps the programmers I train, and I
       | hope it helps you. Of course, everyone's life is a bit different,
       | so don't have an unreasonable expectation that what I said
       | applies to you 100%. It may only apply 20% and still be helpful.
        
         | daoboy wrote:
         | This post made me feel defensive. Which is a good time to stop
         | and reflect. Thanks for sharing the thoughtful advice
        
           | caseyy wrote:
           | That's wise and quite emotionally mature. I'm only sharing
           | some thoughts and not attacking anyone. So if it feels a bit
           | like an attack, perhaps one of your core beliefs is being
           | challenged. :)
        
         | vitaflo wrote:
         | > If their work pleases few people (not enough readers), they
         | may feel like it wasn't worth doing, or if their work attracts
         | criticism, they may feel guilt or shame for doing it.
         | 
         | Likewise, even if the work is a resounding success and showered
         | in positivity, there is now an internal pressure to do even
         | better in the future otherwise you will disappoint your new
         | followers in your next work.
         | 
         | All of this in my mind is fear of the outcome as opposed to the
         | joy of the journey. The satisfaction must come from _doing_ the
         | work, not from the outcome of it. It 's the only way to really
         | break the cycle.
        
       | Rendello wrote:
       | It goes from chasing value to desperately trying to find value in
       | the world, searching your memory for something worth anything.
        
       | dexwiz wrote:
       | I really think we do a number on kids expecting a 100%,
       | perfection, as a goal. And then only give them one chance to
       | achieve it, but ask them to do it day after day for years. It
       | creates some really unhealthy coping mechanism.
        
         | DilutedMetrics wrote:
         | It really warped my perspective when I moved out of the USA to
         | Europe as an adult and found out that's not how school works
         | elsewhere in the world. Still coping with it lol.
        
           | ezequiel-garzon wrote:
           | Could you elaborate? I always found the "grading on a curve"
           | a distinctly American approach that leads to grade inflation
           | and an overall lower academic level. Now, granted, the US
           | provides very unique opportunities for students that want to
           | go above and beyond, but that's another story.
        
       | spuds wrote:
       | I struggle with this myself, especially around writing. My
       | solution, from a coding perspective:
       | 
       | If I had a massive new app to build, it would indeed feel
       | overwhelming if I felt like I just had to sit down and build it.
       | I think we get extra stuck on that with writing, as it often
       | feels like we just need to go from an empty page to a well-
       | reasoned and edited blog post, with a lot of ambiguous struggle
       | in between.
       | 
       | With programming, I start breaking it down into pieces of
       | functionality, and smaller ones, until I have a list of concrete
       | things I can actually get my head around and write the code for.
       | I keep on doing those small things, build the structure around
       | them, and eventually I have my app.
       | 
       | I do the same with writing now. Not an outline really, but a list
       | of concepts I want to get across, then smaller ideas. I write out
       | a few of those, often a paragraph at a time. The structure starts
       | to reveal itself, and soon enough I have a new blog post.
       | 
       | I think the key here is arriving at something small enough that
       | it doesn't feel overwhelming. New app or blog post feels like way
       | too much in the moment, and my body and mind to everything
       | possible to avoid it (procrastination). Writing out a paragraph,
       | coding a function - very doable.
        
         | Sparkyte wrote:
         | I agree with this, but when working with a team I always feel
         | motivated to see the progression made. Rarely do solo
         | developers work well with others and rarely do collaborative
         | developers work well by themselves. It really depends on the
         | dynamic of the environment and the goal of the team.
        
           | hinkley wrote:
           | Which is a pretty pickle when you're trying to hire devs. A
           | candidate with a large GitHub repo may actually not be the
           | team player you're looking for.
        
             | Rinzler89 wrote:
             | _> a large GitHub repo_
             | 
             | I feel like in SW, impact and quality should be a lot more
             | valuable than quantity of repos/apps you write. A few lines
             | of code that fix a Gnome/KDE/$BIG_FOSS_PROJECT bug would be
             | a lot more valuable in my book, than say another one in the
             | millionth pile of JS note taking apps, or a repo full of
             | "Baby's first Rust app"
        
               | hinkley wrote:
               | I spent 1-3 hours every other Friday for six months
               | writing a three line monkey patch to fix a (lack of)
               | clipping bug in a drag and drop library that wasn't
               | taking PRs because they were going to rewrite everything
               | (and were 18 months into a 1 year rewrite and only half
               | done).
               | 
               | I'm not going to name names but it rhymes with jQuery UI.
               | 
               | The best I could do was attach a code snipped to a bug
               | report. I've gone back and forth about whether that
               | should count as participation but for that case it's the
               | most calendar time I've ever put into a line of code and
               | you're goddamned right I want to count it.
        
       | alsetmusic wrote:
       | I procrastinate about everything. But one stark exception to the
       | theme of "not being good enough" was looking for a new job after
       | layoffs in 2023. It wasn't that I thought I wasn't good enough.
       | My experience and resume is pretty solid. I procrastinated
       | because of how shitty the experience is dealing with companies on
       | LinkedIn who get flooded with applications that either a real
       | person might not read (due to software filters) or someone
       | lacking a real understanding of tech won't accurately asses my
       | skills.
       | 
       | I ended up getting a great job that I was really happy to land.
       | But I only applied sporadically because just the thought of
       | having to endure the slog was mentally painful.
       | 
       | Fear of what others might think didn't stop me from building
       | effective automation at the command line. It prevented me from
       | publishing my work on GitHub. It took being in the job market to
       | push me past that as I wanted to let my work speak for itself for
       | technical reviewers during the screening process.
       | 
       | On a different note, present-tense me is always harassing future
       | me with ambitious plans set as reminders. The sense of failure
       | from constantly pushing them off is demoralizing. Some of that
       | came from depression (I'm in treatment now) and some was a
       | byproduct of being a high-achieving alcoholic. The latter sapped
       | my mental fortitude and turned me into a passive streaming
       | consumer. Each time I quit drinking, projects abound as my mind
       | clears up.
       | 
       | Apologies for trembling a bit. Procrastination is one of my
       | greatest challenges, now that I've corrected so many other self-
       | sabotaging behaviors. It's one that I still haven't really begun
       | to figure out how to address. But hey, I'm doing pretty well
       | otherwise, so there's that.
        
         | bitwize wrote:
         | Get up early on the first of the month and post on that month's
         | "Who wants to be hired?" Hackernews thread. I got a job this
         | way, and the experience sure beat StalkedIn.
        
       | StefanBatory wrote:
       | I grew up with parents who had anxiety. I had to be perfect, I
       | couldn't make any sort of mistake because they'd get angry at me.
       | 
       | Naturally, I ended up not even attempting doing anything, because
       | the punishment for not doing something and making a mistake was
       | the same.
        
       | encomiast wrote:
       | I understand how this feels. If this was me, that 'October 19,
       | 2024' line would already be gnawing away at my psyche. 'I said I
       | was going to write more, it's almost been a month...'.
       | 
       | This is one of the reasons I took the dates off of my posts (even
       | though I think they might be useful to readers).
        
       | inglor_cz wrote:
       | From someone who published nine books and over a thousand
       | articles in the last ten years: writing begets writing.
       | 
       | If you fall off the bandwagon, returning to the activity is
       | tedious. First lines feel like hard work, as if you were a
       | totally unfit person trying to climb a steep hill.
       | 
       | Then it gets slowly better and if you can persist and write for
       | several days, you are "in the flow" again.
        
       | sbergjohansen wrote:
       | To anyone interested in further exploring this theme I warmly
       | recommend "The Courage to be Disliked" by Kishimi and Koga.
        
         | swapxstar wrote:
         | That sounds interesting. Will check it out. Thanks!
        
       | siva7 wrote:
       | Hey HN, what do you recommend against coder's block? I often
       | freeze when wanting to write code.
        
         | vdvsvwvwvwvwv wrote:
         | Debugging is great. If I get block because the code is too
         | complex, debugging is a good way to interact and understand the
         | code. It starts to make more sense.
         | 
         | Console logging is still coding too! Debugging can be console
         | logging or stepping through with a debugger. Or even run the
         | program with different inputs.
        
         | dexwiz wrote:
         | Write out what you want to do in a single line. Then make a
         | list of items needed to achieve that. Then split each of those
         | items into 3s. Then split each of those items into 3s, again.
         | Do this enough, and you will have the code you want to write.
         | Then it just becomes a pseudo > real code transition, and LLMs
         | are pretty decent at that.
        
       | amonith wrote:
       | Maybe because you care about what others think you actually tell
       | yourself that you need to write and read more to become "better"
       | (not necessarily than others, just "better" as a person because
       | you feel inadequate) and your body tells you that it's not
       | actually what you want?
       | 
       | The solution might be to use the internet less and enjoy the
       | offline life some more, not to "overcome the hurdle".
        
       | pooingcode wrote:
       | Im struggling with this once I reach the point I can release a
       | project. It's a sort of writers block I guess.
        
       | hshshshshsh wrote:
       | I suffered from this.
       | 
       | The issue is the ego. Ego has a lot of ideas about itself and
       | others. Ego has such high opinion about itself it only can do
       | great work. Which prevents it from doing anything. It's kind of a
       | way of avoiding failures. Because failures will break the grant
       | ideas about himself OP has created.
       | 
       | I accidentally went through a spiritual awakening which diluted
       | ego. I have no problem in doing any kind of work now. Whether
       | it's great or petty.
       | 
       | OP needs to work on the ego. Or figure out a situation where OP
       | has to ship things no matter what. Which is hard unless you are
       | jobless and can't figure a way out apart from building useful
       | things that people pay for.
        
         | calstad wrote:
         | I know it's a bit of a personal question, but can you elaborate
         | on your ego diluting experience?
        
           | hshshshshsh wrote:
           | I think it would be really hard to understand without
           | experiencing it. But I will write down anyway.
           | 
           | So before dilution I had this strong idea of who I was. I had
           | this back story. There were certain things I do. And certain
           | things I don't do. I used to judge everyone. I had a very
           | high opinion about myself and used to constantly do or find
           | things to validate that.
           | 
           | Now I don't have a story in which I live on. Each and every
           | moment is intense. Sunsets are absolutely beautiful that you
           | cannot describe through words. Spending time in nature is
           | surreal. You do the right thing instead of doing things to
           | validate your narrative. The dopamine hit I used to get when
           | I used to do certain things is gone( i use to confuse these
           | dopamine hits as me doing something right). This unlocks
           | doing things more from Intuition and less from memory. There
           | is less fear. There is more flow. More creativity. No regard
           | for authority or beliefs. Everyone is equal. You want to know
           | and not believe.
           | 
           | That said it's not all great stuff. You also have to work
           | through some existential questions which you were previously
           | isolated by the ego. Like mortality. Impermanence of
           | everything. Aging body. What happens after death. Nature of
           | awareness. Why I am aware. Is awareness eternal and it's
           | implications etc etc.
        
             | Etheryte wrote:
             | Happy to hear that worked out for you, that sounds like a
             | great place to be. What facilitated the change though, or
             | how did that happen? Was there a catalyst?
        
               | hshshshshsh wrote:
               | Sorry. I can't write it down because I think what I did
               | was reckless and stupid and I don't want to give any
               | ideas in a high visible thread like this.
               | 
               | For a lot of people this is triggered by something
               | unexpected happening in life which breaks the narrative
               | one has been building their entire life.
               | 
               | You can search for Spiritual Awakening and find a lot of
               | examples. Buddha at the Gas Pump is a great podcast to
               | listen to for such experiences.
               | 
               | As I sad it's not all great all the times. There were a
               | lot of times in which I wished I could go back to the old
               | mode. Though I think the overall change was for the
               | better.
        
             | ajmurmann wrote:
             | I've been heavily dealing with the existential questions
             | you are referencing but it only gets worse. What helped you
             | in resolving those issues or come to terms with them?
        
               | hshshshshsh wrote:
               | Adyashanti helped a lot. Life after awakening book in
               | specifically. I think one of the main takeaways was to
               | instead of running away from these questions or thoughts
               | welcome them and experience them. Don't try to distract
               | yourself when a thought comes. Just embrace it. It will
               | weaken the power of the thoughts or feelings. At the end
               | of the day they are all mere appearances in awareness and
               | not permanent. They go away.
               | 
               | There is also a lecture series on Advaita Vedanta on
               | YouTube. That helped as well.
               | 
               | https://youtu.be/gEd22QZF_mM?si=iDIXY1oUhOC9PaHm
               | 
               | Meditation helped a lot.
               | 
               | Spending time in nature a lot helped. Camping under trees
               | helped..
               | 
               | Also Jordan Peterson's biblical lectures also
               | surprisingly helped even though I was not brought up
               | Christian. I know he is divisive but the lectures are not
               | political.
               | 
               | https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLE4zj0nQN08ewq9dl1e8MC
               | z3Y...
               | 
               | Also just praying and believing in a higher power helped.
        
         | mangomountain wrote:
         | This is spot on for the audiobook I'm listening to "Mindset:
         | The Psychology of Success" , it's resistance to effort that
         | preserves belief in effortless ability and prevents any real
         | progress
        
         | Jerrrrrrry wrote:
         | I am suffering from this.
         | 
         | Every word you wrote stabbed me in my past, which means
         | dissonance, somewhere.
         | 
         | Subconscious self-sabotage to rip the proverbial band-aid off,
         | induced manic/delirium from a small infection,
         | rumination/paranoia, catatonia.
         | 
         | Took less consciousness away from my delaying of problems. My
         | ego didn't handle it, the manic iD, did.
         | 
         | I had successfully ran away from all my problems, failing
         | upwards just enough to irk out a cowardly existence.
         | 
         | If Moses had an antibiotic, or had flossed more, the 4(0?) days
         | of desert-delirium may not had been so fearlessly familiar.
         | 
         | after day 4-5 of catatonic rumination and paralyzing anxiety: I
         | cried aloud, "just give me an ounce of strength"; that let me
         | ruminate as to why:
         | 
         | I was asking for help: I am not allowed to. why not? skip that
         | token, backprop later.
         | 
         | Why an ounce? and why of strength? and why am I asking aloud?
         | and who am I asking?
         | 
         | ...
         | 
         | Why an ounce? Why not a ratio of my body mass? Why not an
         | arbitrary....because I have 0.
         | 
         | Zero what? Strength?
         | 
         | Why am I asking for strength? Because I am a coward.
         | 
         | and Occam's Razor clicked, all my problems stemmed from
         | cowardice.
         | 
         | I awoke to find myself identifying with "depersonalization" for
         | once, which was embarrassing. But embarrassing/cringe is
         | dissonance, so my ego deconstruction began.
         | 
         | Morality is cowardice in disguise. <-- Stuck here, unable to
         | proceed. Too axiomatic.                 Or figure out a
         | situation where OP has to ship things no matter what. Which is
         | hard unless you are jobless and can't figure a way out apart
         | from building useful things that people pay for.
         | 
         | Not out of the woods yet, but at least I know I am in a
         | familiar forest.
        
       | Liquix wrote:
       | "The most thunderous sound arises out of quietude." - Zhaungzi
       | 
       | "The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the
       | creative mind." - Albert Einstein
       | 
       | "If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the
       | tools) to write. Simple as that." - Stephen King
       | 
       | In other words unplugging, making time to read books, and
       | allowing yourself to be bored are all good ways to stimulate the
       | creative mind.
        
       | saltcod wrote:
       | This piece was short, but it reads well. You're definitely not a
       | non-writer. You should keep at it. Look forward to reading more.
        
       | ksassnowski wrote:
       | This resonates so much with me. I've even written a blog post a
       | few years ago with almost the same title[0].
       | 
       | It hasn't really gotten better since then even though I've built
       | even more cool stuff since then (hell, I even was #1 on HN for a
       | whole day earlier this year).
       | 
       | [0]: https://www.kai-sassnowski.com/post/never-good-enough/
        
       | SoftTalker wrote:
       | One thing to keep in mind is that the vast, overwhelming majority
       | of people in the world, or even your town, don't know who you are
       | and will never be aware of anything you do. This goes even for
       | people who are relatively well known in their field. It's nearly
       | daily I see some story here about someone who is apparently "well
       | known" and my reaction is "Who? I've never heard of this person."
       | 
       | Don't worry about being good enough or what other people will
       | think. The truth is almost nobody even cares.
        
       | redbell wrote:
       | > This ties into my fear of not being _good enough_. I'm
       | constantly worried about what others might think of my writing.
       | If I don't think it's great, how can I expect anyone else to?
       | 
       | I believe this belongs under the term _Perfectionist Dilemma_ ,
       | as defined by Adam Miller [1]:                  The perfectionist
       | dilemma is when a creator values the quality of a finished
       | product, such to the extent that it inhibits their ability to
       | iterate, change, and even produce. For many, it's the ultimate
       | writer's block, invoking a fear that the finished product isn't
       | or won't be as originally intended.
       | 
       | > When I read articles on Hacker News about people doing
       | incredible things and writing brilliantly about them, it's hard
       | not to feel overwhelmed.
       | 
       | I totally agree with this. I believe it's an instinct feeling, so
       | I'm accepting it _as it is_.
       | 
       | _________________________
       | 
       | 1. https://medium.com/@thatadammiller/the-perfectionist-
       | dilemma...
        
       | tonymet wrote:
       | Stop overcomplicating it. You're lazy.
        
       | mattfrommars wrote:
       | TIL: there are randoms in the world who feel the exact what I
       | feel, on daily basis for past three or four years.
       | 
       | It is frustrating. One recent mindset change I have adopted that
       | reduces the feeling of overwhelming is:
       | 
       | 1. Say it out loud, "I have plenty of time" and breathe deeply
       | 
       | 2. "I have to work within constraint for which I do not have
       | control of"
       | 
       | 3. Can things be a lot more worse then they are? Fortunately, the
       | answer to this has been 100% yes. Things can be worse in terms of
       | developing complicated medical condition to family complication.
       | 
       | 4. There always be be 'noise', work on reducing it and accept the
       | 'distractions' are noise. Since distraction is noise, ignore it
       | instead of giving into it.
        
       | jctdrs wrote:
       | "Recently, with a bit of encouragement from a friend"
       | 
       | Thank you friend..
        
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