[HN Gopher] Social Initiation
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Social Initiation
Author : yamrzou
Score : 36 points
Date : 2024-09-21 13:01 UTC (9 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (socialcommunication.truman.edu)
(TXT) w3m dump (socialcommunication.truman.edu)
| pmdulaney wrote:
| I think this could be helpful for those who are especially shy or
| on the spectrum. It is not optimized for viewing on a phone.
| mentalfist wrote:
| Use Firefox and press the button next to the URL to get a clean
| format.
| yamrzou wrote:
| On a phone, you can enable Desktop mode when using Chrome to
| have a better view of the page.
| royal__ wrote:
| I think it's interesting how this makes a distinction about what
| Americans do, because appropriate social interaction is
| significantly influenced by culture. I wonder if there's a study
| or something that explored the variations in social interaction
| norms across cultures.
| herval wrote:
| There's many interesting books on the subject - "the culture
| map" is a fun and easy read, covering examples on various
| cultures (and how to create a more welcoming environment by
| being aware that differences exist)
| re wrote:
| If you found this useful or interesting, looks like there are
| lots of other pages on the site on various topics.
|
| _Hidden Social Dimensions_ : Sounds, Words, Turn Taking, Topic
| Changes, How Much to Say, Storytelling
|
| _Attitudes & Emotions_: Expressing Emotion, Power and
| Solidarity, Social Initiation, Showing Interest, Flirting, Polite
| = Indirect, Sarcasm
|
| _Identities_ : Age, Gender, Dialects
| dachworker wrote:
| This all reads quite basic. I find, breaking the ice is the
| hardest part. But even before that, the social norm that
| dedicates that ones should not bother strangers is the hardest to
| overcome.
| waciki wrote:
| Some good advice, but a lot of stuff is just weird or robotic and
| it has some surprisingly judgmental comments.
|
| The gender page is just strange, most of those sounds so american
| or old fashioned.
|
| edit: sources are mostly old, there are no sources from less than
| 10 years which is bad if you're trying to describe current social
| behaviors, the average source on the gender page is from 2002...
| metacritic12 wrote:
| The rules are indeed stated in a robotic, and somewhat
| patronizing way, as if written by a mild aspie to teach a
| stronger aspie the rules.
|
| As you note, most of them are generally true though, and some
| just kind of obvious to a high empathy person.
| waciki wrote:
| > As you note, most of them are generally true though
|
| Not really, it's so mixed that I wouldnt advise a
| neurodivergent person to follow them, how would you know
| which one is good?
|
| I don't think the author is sympathetic to autistic people:
|
| "If you engage in less socially acceptable self-stimulatory
| behaviors that involve clenched muscles, quick jerky
| movements, rocking, or vocalizations, strangers will likely
| be afraid to talk to you, and even people you already know
| may be embarrassed to be with you in public."
|
| You shouldn't be with people that are embarrassed to be with
| you, as those behaviors are usually not controllable, this is
| terrible.
| tbrownaw wrote:
| Reality is often disappointing.
|
| That doesn't make ignoring it a good idea.
| tbrownaw wrote:
| > _The rules are indeed stated in a robotic, and somewhat
| patronizing way, as if written by a mild aspie to teach a
| stronger aspie the rules._
|
| Doesn't is kind of have to be? That "curse of knowledge"
| thing makes it kind of hard to explain things to people who's
| skill on whatever topic is more than a level or two below
| your own.
| pikseladam wrote:
| in the leadership program, they teach us that if your presence,
| or aura, isn't steady, nothing else matters. when it is, you find
| your own charisma, and that's when you can truly be yourself. you
| can be fun, direct, indirect, extroverted, or introverted--it
| doesn't matter. but the key is consistency. you need to remain
| the same in every situation, with every person, and that's the
| hard part. this is why attractive people seem to effortlessly
| navigate any social interaction. in reality, they don't feel like
| they need to change much at all.
| herval wrote:
| A key thing any senior leader usually learn is that you MUST
| adapt your behavior in front of the audience, depending on the
| audience. People won't react to your "charisma" the same way,
| and being consistent isn't a necessity.
|
| Anyone who worked with a charismatic leader (from Steve Jobs to
| Adam Neumann) will tell you they wear many faces, depending on
| the setting, and they're usually different (so not a "true
| self").
| joe_the_user wrote:
| _in the leadership program, they teach us that if your
| presence, or aura, isn 't steady, nothing else matters._
|
| My only guess is that statements like this ring true for
| someone who is having the experience of being successful
| socially. However, they seem completely useless to someone
| trying to change their behavior in order to be socially
| successful.
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(page generated 2024-09-21 23:00 UTC)