[HN Gopher] The Most Dangerous Email (to my career) I've Sent
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       The Most Dangerous Email (to my career) I've Sent
        
       Author : dnoberon
       Score  : 80 points
       Date   : 2024-08-30 17:03 UTC (5 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.notyourlanguage.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.notyourlanguage.com)
        
       | dnoberon wrote:
       | The title might be a little dramatic, but I poured my heart into
       | this article. I had to make some drastic decisions and big
       | changes with regards to my career trajectory - and if I can
       | inspire others to be true to themselves, then I'll be happy.
        
         | ezekg wrote:
         | I'm assuming it went good? Sorry if I missed it in the article.
        
           | dnoberon wrote:
           | It went well yeah, it's a little bit at the end that I should
           | have spent more time on :). We're stopping the climb up the
           | management ladder and are identifying other resources to
           | handle those responsibilities.
        
         | jeffreygoesto wrote:
         | You already are. Thank you for describing how these thoughts
         | can pull you in the two directions and that you could prevent
         | to let them tear you apart in the end. I hope you found
         | mentor(s) who you could reflect the path forward with without
         | having to burn bridges. In fact a sequel how it turned out
         | would be interesting.
        
         | x0x0 wrote:
         | > _meetings, on-sites, and bureaucracy - leaving very little
         | time for actual work which produced any kind of real artifact_
         | 
         | All those things are actual work, they just produce different
         | artifacts, eg an aligned team and correct decisions and proper
         | risk assessment diffused through an org. Again, nothing wrong
         | with choosing the career you want, but I think this perspective
         | is simply wrong.
        
           | dnoberon wrote:
           | You're absolutely right. I guess those artifacts don't
           | resonate with me - and I did mention there's nothing wrong
           | with enjoying this in the article. Good catch, I'll see if I
           | can't reword it a bit :)
        
         | smodo wrote:
         | It definitely resonates. I am afraid of there being an upper
         | bound to the amount of management work I can do without burning
         | out. And yet I still get promoted every year and continue up
         | the ladder... interestingly I have the exact same rationale for
         | this: that I need to be untouchable by the time I'm 50. So your
         | article is a nice reminder that all that is something I made up
         | and keep telling myself.
        
         | foobarian wrote:
         | I'm fortunate to be in a company where there isn't a
         | stereotypical push for senior dev to "switch to management."
         | I'm happily doing the IC thing but feel like I am on the other
         | end of the pendulum swing a bit, in that I feel like I maybe
         | _should_ look into the management path before I get too old and
         | out of date. The main thing that stops me is that so far I 've
         | been able to adopt and learn new tech reasonably well (or so I
         | think!) so I suppose as long as that continues I shouldn't mess
         | with what ain't broken. :-)
        
         | Spooky23 wrote:
         | Thanks for doing this. It's hard to talk about this sort of
         | thing with yourself, much less the world!
         | 
         | I've been fortunate to be able to reboot a few times within an
         | organization, most recently running a division with hundreds of
         | people then pivoting to a small, strategic group with a
         | specific high priority mission. It's good to reboot sometimes
         | and good to be able to tamp down the ego aspects of advancement
         | that often keep us doing things we don't like.
        
         | jjulius wrote:
         | Good for you for recognizing what you need and shooting for it.
         | Like you say in the article, you're one of the lucky who have
         | taken that shot and had it work out for you, and I feel like
         | I'm in a similar boat.
         | 
         | Our first kid was born two weeks before California shut down
         | (the first state to do so) for the pandemic. I was stuck in a
         | shitty job with shitty bosses who expected the world (eg, made
         | me lay off 75% of my team in 2019 and proceeded to insist I
         | produce more than before, while telling me to expect "More of
         | the same!", with a perverse enthusiasm, in the coming years
         | when I asked what our long-term plan was, but I digress -
         | shoutout to Apto Solutions!). We had no family living near us,
         | so it was just the two of us raising our first kid in the
         | middle of a lockdown while I worked in-office and my wife tried
         | to somehow simultaneously work FT from home while caring for a
         | newborn. That wasn't tenable, so we uprooted to a more
         | affordable region that had us surrounded by family in early
         | 2021. I did the stay-at-home-dad thing for the better part of
         | 2021 until it was time to get back into the swing of things.
         | 
         | My first interview was at Intel, through a staffing agency, and
         | it sounded goddamned miserable as a new-ish father - rotating
         | shifts (so I'd be required to do graveyards and swing shifts
         | every few weeks), no office (the team I'd be working with said
         | that they had to come in every morning and find whatever
         | conference room might be available that day to post up in), the
         | expectation that on my off days (yes, even vacations) I would
         | need to respond to all emails and messages within _one hour_
         | (so, how do I fly on a plane or hike in the woods on my day
         | off?), and at the end of every week you had to present your
         | numbers for the week to Intel staff in a way that sounded a
         | hell of a lot like,  "Please justify your existence to us and
         | convince us that we should keep you here". It sounded goddamned
         | miserable.
         | 
         | My next interview was the opposite - for a company in the
         | education sector that promoted a healthy work-life balance and
         | a focus on family. So, I leaned into it _hard_ - I told my now-
         | boss during the interview that I was coming out of a very
         | rough, stressful and unreasonable working environment and that
         | I have no desire to put up with anything like that ever again.
         | I said that my primary focus has to be my family, and that I
         | refused to  "take home" any stress or work, that I would put
         | 110% into my job while I'm in the office but 0% outside, that
         | my phone would be set up to not notify me of anything
         | afterhours, and that at that point in my life, I had zero
         | desire to climb the corporate ladder and would be more than
         | content sitting in the same position for a good chunk of time.
         | 
         | I thought for sure that their rhetoric around work-life balance
         | and such would be bullshit, but I got the job, and it's
         | _exactly like they described_. The flexibility and support for
         | all of us to prioritize ourselves, whatever that looks like, is
         | amazing, and I feel _incredibly_ lucky to be here. I can shut
         | off at the end of the day and, in three years, I 've yet to
         | take work home with me in any sense of the phrase.
         | 
         | And now that three years have passed and my kids are a bit
         | older, I've been candid about taking more on and maybe moving
         | up the ladder a bit (within reason/my sanity), and they've been
         | very supportive of it.
         | 
         | All that rambling is to say, lean in to whatever it is that you
         | know you need. Reach for it, ask for it, insist on it. It might
         | not always work out, but you may get lucky and end up getting
         | it, and boy is it damn sweet if you do.
        
         | rekabis wrote:
         | You figured out what is right _for you._
         | 
         | Kudos x100.
         | 
         | Far too few people ever recognize their breaking point, and
         | just continue trying to push forward because that's the
         | capitalist manifesto - growth at any cost.
         | 
         | You learned from your own breaking point, and intentionally
         | chose an alternative path that fit you better. That _by
         | default_ makes you more self-aware than many.
        
         | Terretta wrote:
         | The dangerous thing to me was not the email, it was asserting
         | the misunderstanding that additional years results in
         | inutility.
         | 
         | "Up or out" doesn't have to mean up the org chart. It can mean
         | up your value through mastery, which you clearly feel you have
         | within a set of disciplines.
         | 
         | It took some number of years to become "the best" at those
         | things you described being good at. Whatever activities you
         | were doing those years that made you the best, _keep doing
         | them_ ... applied to adjacencies.
         | 
         | Later in life, after people have been good at some things for a
         | while, it's an ego boost. They forget what it felt like to be
         | _not good_ at things, _and that that was OK_. They become
         | inhibited from learning by both ego pain of doing something
         | badly, and mental pain of reformatting brain and behaviors to
         | fit in new learning.
         | 
         | If at 40 you have 20 years of getting good at things, at 60 you
         | can have another 20 years of getting good at additional things.
         | Innovation and mastery of systems comes from multi-
         | disciplinary, multi-system understanding. The additional years
         | _can_ make you more useful, not less.
         | 
         | Arguably, it boils down to: do you like learning, and do you
         | like what you do. If yes to both, there's no reason you can't
         | keep accumulating ability to deliver value.
        
       | htrp wrote:
       | I think this is a great article explaining exactly why it's okay
       | to step off the career progression ladder and say this is what I
       | want to do.
       | 
       | The alternative is the Peter principle where you end up promoted
       | upwards until you fail.
       | 
       | OP, I wonder if you had frank talks with your line management
       | about your long term career trajectory or if this was a sudden
       | realization?
        
         | dnoberon wrote:
         | We talked frequently but I always kept my reservations about
         | continually moving up the ladder pretty hidden. It wasn't until
         | this realization and acceptance that I finally was extremely
         | open and frank about things.
        
         | Xcelerate wrote:
         | > The alternative is the Peter principle where you end up
         | promoted upwards until you fail.
         | 
         | I mean... to play devil's advocate, if each promotion
         | accelerates the compounding of your investments to the point
         | where by the time you fail you've already reached financial
         | independence, then oh well? Can always go back down the ladder
         | or jump to different types of ladders at your convenience then.
        
           | itishappy wrote:
           | I'd love to live in a world where failure is free, but this
           | aint it. This seems like it has potential to poison your
           | image and potentially harm others as well.
        
       | ComputerGuru wrote:
       | There are many different types of "dangerous" things you can do
       | for your career, and some are worse (and more permanent) than
       | others.
       | 
       | The most "dangerous" thing for my career was when I started
       | posting about what's happening in Gaza and Palestine on my public
       | social media accounts. I've heard similar horror stories from
       | others, ranging from being let go from their jobs to missing out
       | on new opportunities and positions, specifically or
       | "incidentally" as a result of their decision to speak out.
        
         | ebcode wrote:
         | Yeah, I wonder if OP could replace "most dangerous" with "most
         | honest" and not lose the meaning.
         | 
         | Good on you for speaking out, and thanks for doing so.
        
         | marcellus23 wrote:
         | Thankfully it seems like the danger around that is much less
         | now than it was in the first few months after October 7. Though
         | unfortunately probably still present.
        
         | engineer_22 wrote:
         | Yeah, freedom of speech used to be sacred... No longer.
        
           | mikepurvis wrote:
           | Freedom of speech has never meant freedom from consequences,
           | particularly in one's dealings with private individuals or
           | corporations.
           | 
           | At best it's supposed to mean no reprisals from _public_
           | institutions, such as the TSA, IRS, DMV, and the like.
        
             | oceanplexian wrote:
             | It should if you have some semblance of professionalism. At
             | work I don't want to know nor want to know about the
             | politics of the people working with me.
             | 
             | If I'm engaged in a business transaction I don't care about
             | the personal views of the person I'm buying or selling
             | from. Call me old fashioned but the world used to be that
             | way before the rise of social media addictions and the
             | current online echo chambers in our society.
        
               | 0cf8612b2e1e wrote:
               | Pick the "wrong" group you find utterly distasteful
               | (Nazi, anti-Nazi, conservative, liberal, gay, homophobic,
               | etc).
               | 
               | If I find the person's views abhorrent, not a surprise I
               | would choose not to do business with them if I had
               | alternatives.
        
               | tpmoney wrote:
               | And one should have that right, but whether one should
               | exercise that right is another matter. A thought
               | experiment: If you could pick any point in history and
               | make it so all people expressing socially unpopular views
               | were permanently cast out from society, and all other
               | people never spoke or traded or dealt with them ever
               | again, when would you choose to freeze social opinion?
               | Which modern day group of normal every day people, who we
               | consider unobjectionable now, would be cast into the
               | dustbin of history if societal opinion was frozen at your
               | chosen moment of time?
        
               | 0cf8612b2e1e wrote:
               | Really upping the ante if my personal morals lead to
               | banishment of another. This was in the context of
               | choosing business partners when I had the option.
               | 
               | Not all of my beliefs are likely to be perfectly rational
               | such that I could objectively defend them. That still
               | means I can pick and choose my friends without casting
               | the rest to oblivion.
               | 
               | If the question is, "What happens if all of society
               | rejects X group for their beliefs", well that's
               | civilization. Part of the implicit agreement is that we
               | can all reasonably agree on some things. If someone
               | rejects that notion, well, there can be consequences
               | (even for the "correct" position (say civil rights)).
        
               | tpmoney wrote:
               | Sure, but my larger point is that I believe people should
               | strive for free speech maximalism even in their private
               | dealings, and even within the private dealings, we should
               | strive to make the consequences we impose minimally
               | "dangerous". There's no bright lines to be had, and
               | everyone will have different limits, and every situation
               | will have different criteria applied to them. But overall
               | I'd rather err (and see other people err) on the side of
               | being too permissive rather than not permissive enough.
               | On the scale of less to more permissive, I'd probably
               | argue that the order would be something like "friends",
               | "business partners", "employees", "contractors". The less
               | likely you are to be inviting someone over for dinner,
               | the more permissive you should probably be over how their
               | outside speech impacts your business dealings with them.
               | 
               | People only change by exposure to new ideas, and if all
               | the "bad people" and all the "good people" never mix,
               | then what hope do the "good people" have that any "bad
               | people" will learn to think differently?
               | 
               | Basically, I really don't want to live in a world where
               | it's normal for my boss to go trolling through my HN
               | comment history before deciding whether I get a promotion
               | or not, no matter how much of a right they have to do
               | that. I'm not ashamed of the things I've said here (to
               | the best of my knowledge), I just don't think that having
               | a discussion with other people, about topics that don't
               | directly bear on my work should be used when determining
               | how to treat me at work. I am not so conceited as to
               | think I am right all the time or that my bosses would
               | agree with every thought I have. Which is why I have
               | these discussions here, with other people engaged in the
               | topic and not at work, with my bosses who weren't talking
               | about the topic in the first place.
        
             | rekabis wrote:
             | > At best it's supposed to mean no reprisals from public
             | institutions, such as the TSA, IRS, DMV, and the like.
             | 
             | That is the _ONLY_ purpose of "free speech" - that
             | _governments and their institutions_ cannot prevent you
             | from speaking freely.
             | 
             | And even there, some small exceptions should be carved out
             | in terms of clearly unambiguous hate speech and bigotry.
             | But with the Republican Party (in America, specifically)
             | becoming Christofascist fundamentalists (Canada has the CPC
             | and it's openly racist little sibling, the PPC), good luck
             | with blunting the hate speech and rampant bigotry that is
             | the conservative platform's bread-and-butter.
        
               | tpmoney wrote:
               | > That is the ONLY purpose of "free speech" - that
               | governments and their institutions cannot prevent you
               | from speaking freely.
               | 
               | I'm not sure I look forward to an America where the
               | social norms, when the "Republican Party becoming
               | Christofascist fundamentalists" is voted into power
               | again, that make it routine for people to be denied
               | employment, banking services or promotions because they
               | aren't sufficiently Christian.
               | 
               | Freedom from governmental intervention is _ONE_ purpose
               | of free speech. But without social norms that encourage
               | private restraint as well, we would be living in the very
               | same Christofascist hell you already fear. Ask anyone who
               | grew up in a small insular town what sort of damage
               | "private" individuals can do when the social norm is
               | punishing you for speech they didn't like.
        
             | tpmoney wrote:
             | Freedom of speech at its _minimum_ is freedom of reprisal
             | from government institutions. But it is also (or should be)
             | a set of social norms, and a goal to aspire to. A freedom
             | which is only enjoyed against the government is useful, but
             | without public support is fragile. Without the social norms
             | to back it up, it is easier for demagogues and tyrants to
             | chip away at those freedoms, until all thats left is
             | technicalities and de-minimus freedom.
             | 
             | A world where your every word is analyzed, scrutinized and
             | ground through the sausage factory that is current popular
             | trends and then used for or against you at arbitrary times
             | in arbitrary and distantly connected ways is a world that
             | is pure hell. Most of us experienced something similar in
             | middle school. Many might have experienced such a world in
             | small insular communities where everyone knows your
             | business. What good is freedom of speech when social norms
             | make it such that exercising that freedom is punished just
             | as destructively from society itself as it is from the
             | government? If you can lose your income, your livelihood,
             | access to food or even your home from private institutions
             | reacting to your speech - and that is a normalized thing to
             | happen - how is that functionally different from being
             | jailed for your speech? At least if the government jails
             | you for your speech, they have to house and feed you. If
             | your industry blacklists you, and your bank freezes your
             | accounts, and your grocer closes the doors in your face,
             | then what do you do?
             | 
             | Should apartments disqualify you from renting a place
             | because you support Palestine or Israel? Should banks deny
             | you a mortgage for what religion you subscribe to? Should
             | your boss deny you a promotion because you are a registered
             | democrat? Should your company fire you because you are a
             | registered republican? Should the local pharmacy refuse to
             | serve you because you support the black panthers? Should
             | you local grocery store refuse you entry because you donate
             | to the salvation army? If you support unions should AT&T
             | cut off your phone service? If you support right to repair
             | should Amazon stop shipping to you? If you support Net
             | Neutrality should your ISP deny you service? These are all
             | private individuals or corporations, and of course "freedom
             | of speech is no freedom from consequences". They probably
             | do (modulo some court cases restricting that in certain
             | circumstances) and should have that right if they really
             | chose to exercise it but having the right to do something
             | is not the same as whether you should do something, or
             | whether doing that thing should be a normal thing to do.
             | 
             | Mind you I think no one _should_ post about any major issue
             | on social media because I consider posting on social media
             | to be the equivalent of trying to hold a debate by way of
             | bumper stickers. But people do post about major issues on
             | social media. And some non-insignificant fraction of those
             | people are going to be  "wrong" on one or more of the
             | things they post about, and sometimes egregiously so. But I
             | don't want to live in a world where it is routine for
             | someone who is on the opposite side of an issue as me to be
             | denied a mortgage, even if that means they might become my
             | neighbor. I don't want to live in a world where someone who
             | is "wrong" about some massively complex multi-decade geo-
             | political minefield is denied promotions or hiring, even if
             | that means I might work with or for them. The personal
             | might be political, but not all of us have the luxury of
             | being able to live in politics all day long, and only
             | associate with the right kinds of people. Not all of us
             | have the luxury to be allowed to have the right politics,
             | whether because of lack of education, or possibly because
             | of those same private individuals and corporations already
             | exercising their right to inflict "consequences".
             | 
             | Private companies and individual might and should have the
             | ability to make their own association decisions, but that
             | doesn't mean I don't want them to hold themselves to high
             | standards and aim for impossible to achieve ideals. Because
             | the alternative is that we live in a world where either you
             | or I are at serious risk of losing everything we have
             | because of this exchange.
        
           | sudopluto wrote:
           | "about what's happening in Gaza and Palestine" seems like a
           | euphemism for some more emotional / inflammatory posts. It's
           | not a violation of free speech for a private corporation to
           | make an at-will employment decision to protect their PR
           | image.
        
         | jules-jules wrote:
         | Thank you for speaking out. There are so many who are too
         | afraid sadly.
        
         | firesteelrain wrote:
         | Since you mentioned Gaza and Palestine, I assume you are
         | against Israel's response. I don't want to turn this comment
         | section into that at all. I just wanted to say I feel that I
         | can't speak in support of Israel. The opposite can also be
         | true.
         | 
         | Again, not wanting to turn this into a Palestine/Gaza/Israel
         | thing just pointing out that people on the other side feel the
         | same way.
        
           | threatofrain wrote:
           | In the US the more mainstream position is to support Israel,
           | and only recently has there been a semblance in the change in
           | trajectory. That's why both major parties come out in support
           | of Israel.
        
             | rekabis wrote:
             | > In the US the more mainstream position is to support
             | Israel
             | 
             | The lobbyists for the military/industrial complex are
             | numerous and exceedingly well-paid.
             | 
             | > That's why both major parties come out in support of
             | Israel.
             | 
             | Which is how and why campaign contributions have become a
             | systemic evil - it chains the platforms of politicians to
             | the desires of the wealthy and powerful, thereby
             | eliminating any ability for politicians to "do the
             | morally/ethically correct thing".
             | 
             | Most of the western world was philosophically "on Israel's
             | side" because of the unrelenting evil of Hamas -- Hamas
             | does't care if every single Palestinian dies, so long as
             | they "win". Plus, genocide of the entire Israeli population
             | has been baked into Hamas' DNA from the beginning. But with
             | this war, Israel has gone all "hold my beer and watch
             | this", and is making a legitimately successful bid at
             | becoming the materially greater evil.
             | 
             | It's an ESH situation, with the Palestinian people caught
             | in the crossfire.
        
       | ezekg wrote:
       | I resonate with this. Thanks for sharing. I had similar emotions
       | when I penned my resignation email after I decided to go full-
       | time on my business.
        
         | dnoberon wrote:
         | I hear that - these moments are hard to forget.
        
       | neilv wrote:
       | > _I felt like by 40 I needed to move on from engineering because
       | if I didn't, I'd be like the few older workers I'd dealt with in
       | my career. I felt like they moved too slow, were stuck in their
       | ways, and unable to change - even when faced with evidence to the
       | contrary._
       | 
       | If that was your fear, then I'm sorry you had that fear, and I
       | hope it was unfounded.
       | 
       | Unfortunately, there's externalities to voicing a negative
       | stereotype in some venues, reinforcing it there.
        
         | dnoberon wrote:
         | Thank you. I think it is unfounded, but it's still a visceral
         | belief and those can be hard to overcome. I'm hoping with time
         | I can change my feelings on it.
        
           | mcguire wrote:
           | Because I am the bluebird of happiness, there are a couple of
           | things you may want to be aware of here.
           | 
           | " _I'd be like the few older workers I'd dealt with in my
           | career. I felt like they moved too slow, were stuck in their
           | ways, and unable to change - even when faced with evidence to
           | the contrary._ "
           | 
           | First, keep in mind that many of your co-workers will still
           | feel this way, even if you provide evidence to the contrary.
           | 
           | Second, after you have been around the dharma wheel too many
           | times, it becomes difficult to hop onto the hype-train as
           | quickly as you used to, which is one reason many of your co-
           | workers will feel that way.
           | 
           | The tech industry has never had a career path for technical
           | people other than directly into management or into a pseudo-
           | management "architecture" roles that are neither technical
           | nor management---you don't get many of the advantages of
           | either and what you can do is mostly based on your personal
           | relationships with managers or technical people. As a result,
           | if you remain technical, you may find that your salary and
           | influence stagnate.
           | 
           | Oh, and 40 is still pretty young. I'm 56 and it wasn't until
           | the last 8-10 years that serious burnout set in. (Salary
           | isn't really an important factor in job satisfaction;
           | influence very much is.)
           | 
           | Personally, I've never had to write a letter like yours
           | because I shot the suggestion of a more management-oriented
           | position down in flames, twice. Lucky me! :-)
        
             | cm11 wrote:
             | This is only tangentially related to the main topic of the
             | post, but thought I might ask for your thoughts on a
             | similar dynamic.
             | 
             | My thesis is that companies should not be (or just be much
             | less) functionally org'd--that is, not divided into
             | Engineering, Marketing, Design, Sales, etc. And that this
             | is the root-ish of many typical problems. I don't really
             | need to argue that's true for my question, but given that
             | most companies are that then leads to functional managers--
             | ie. Engineering Manager or Director of Engineering. The
             | role of that manager sometimes involves being in the weeds
             | of specific work, but mostly doesn't. It's usually not
             | architecting or coding, but mentoring and maybe allocating
             | work. The latter of which might formally be a a
             | responsibility, but is embedded in a network of other
             | people's needs that does some pre-determining.
             | 
             | What does that manager do--and I suppose how do they sleep
             | at night if they care about their work--given they're the
             | mentor and blocker of their IC's rise? What I mean is that
             | if the career path for the IC is sorta mythical, how does
             | that manager guide them? If they're honest, then they're
             | also kinda describing their own role as a bit pointless.
             | That would be a reason the IC shouldn't aspire to the role
             | coming from someone who did and now remains (happily?) in
             | it. Engineering is probably the least problematic in this
             | regard because it tends have a bit of power and sometimes
             | isolation within a company. But take something like design,
             | which fights all the time with product because half of the
             | career path/duties for product design (less so brand or
             | visual designers) is blocked by product. So when a designer
             | tells their manager they're having problems with their PM,
             | there is (1) nothing power-wise for the manager to do
             | because neither they nor their bosses are in the chain of
             | command of product and (2) they themselves never resolved
             | this incompatibility. The best they've done is maybe
             | launched something in spite of it. Or maybe (to the
             | company's benefit?) not launched things because of it.
             | 
             | Does the functional manager just give (knowingly or
             | unknowingly) pseudo-career-advice out of circumstance
             | because that's the job of maintaining civility? Is this
             | mostly a matter of everyone all around (managers and
             | otherwise) looking the other way because employment?
        
         | UniverseHacker wrote:
         | > they moved too slow, were stuck in their ways, and unable to
         | change
         | 
         | This goes beyond just engineering- people generally get more
         | like this in all aspects of life as they get older, and I
         | believe you can prevent it by deciding not to be that way, and
         | taking actions to not be that way.
         | 
         | Personally, I feel that I was very rigid and closed minded when
         | I was younger, and I've been learning and working on how to be
         | less like that as I get older. I used to get angry when people
         | believed or did things I thought were "wrong" - and I found if
         | I take the time to understand why they think it is the right
         | way, I am not bothered by it anymore, and am more able to work
         | with them and be kind and understanding to them, even if I
         | disagree still.
        
           | stavros wrote:
           | I'm also very wary of being stuck in my ways, but even after
           | all that bias-compensation, I still hold the belief that the
           | fastest/most maintainable/easiest/best for the user way to
           | make web apps is server-side rendered with minimal JS (mostly
           | to enhance components). I don't know if this makes me a
           | dinosaur, but I firmly believe that the best way to make 95%
           | of modern websites is Django+HTMX (or similar), instead of a
           | heavy SPA with an API.
           | 
           | Of course, when it comes to web _apps_ , like Google Docs or
           | similar, SPAs all the way, but that's a tiny minority of the
           | web.
        
             | UniverseHacker wrote:
             | This is an interesting example, because in this case- I
             | think it could be seen as being stuck in old ways by a
             | younger person that is excited about new stuff, but it
             | sounds like you actually just have more experience and a
             | broader perspective, and so know when something "old
             | fashioned" can be simpler and more effective than using the
             | latest most trendy method.
             | 
             | I hate having to use what is basically a simple static page
             | but is effectively a large app that is being downloaded and
             | executed client side- it makes it unresponsive.
        
             | anothername12 wrote:
             | My belief too, as a grey beard 25 years in. I've seen all
             | sorts of shit come and go.
             | 
             | There's a lot of "slack" in the industry that we get away
             | with. Ridiculous incidental complexity, far-out frameworks,
             | architectural astronautics etc.
             | 
             | But if you care about "adding value" or your business
             | succeeding, tools like Rails/Django are way to go. (And
             | btw, use a RDBMS ffs)
        
             | mrj wrote:
             | This is the way a lot of people feel lately, and it's
             | nothing to do with being a dinosaur. It's a whole movement.
             | 
             | I'm wary though, because lots of things start nicely but
             | fail to manage complexity of even a moderately sized app,
             | and everything grows over time. I feel like a lot of people
             | are going to rediscover why we started making everything a
             | SPA.
             | 
             | There have been a lot of approaches on the frontend over
             | the years and it's been my job too many times to clean up
             | where that approach eventually collapsed as the app grew
             | larger or ran into limitations. I am looking for the
             | upgrade path -- I want to start simple but not risk an
             | _entire_ rewrite when the complexity exceeds that pattern.
             | To date, very few of these things work well enough together
             | to consider it seriously. (htmx+react would work fine but
             | you 'd pay a large cost for upgrading a single component,
             | like rewriting it and a chunk of new runtime code. And if
             | everything eventually gets more complex, somebody starts
             | asking "why we have two ways of doing things?? We should
             | consolidate!" And the rewrite cycle continues...)
             | 
             | It's a balance between hard-won experience and becoming too
             | wary of new things. It's hard to see new frameworks
             | completely based on events, for example, and not cry does
             | nobody remember that we tried it already? Having a glob of
             | untyped context in Angular v1 was always bad, and I refused
             | it even when it made me look like a dinosaur back then. But
             | React was a great pattern for complex code, and I
             | immediately switched to that. I would switch to something
             | tomorrow if it kept those good parts, like handling complex
             | apps, but didn't have to render everything a minimum of two
             | times server and client. Maybe a new winner will emerge.
             | 
             | Experience is still good to have. It doesn't === dinosaur.
             | Instead, it has saved me a lot of misadventures.
        
             | arp242 wrote:
             | > I don't know if this makes me a dinosaur, but I firmly
             | believe that the best way to make 95% of modern websites is
             | Django+HTMX (or similar), instead of a heavy SPA with an
             | API.
             | 
             | I agree; at some point someone said that I'm "like the
             | anti-vaxxer of frontend development", because "I'm not
             | listening to the experts". Hmkay.
             | 
             | Maybe I'm old and stuck in my ways. But telling people
             | they're like anti-vaxxers because they disagree with them
             | (with caveats: "SPA is nice for some things, but for many
             | template-driven apps are better") means you're just as much
             | "stuck in your ways".
        
           | lo_zamoyski wrote:
           | I think we _must_ remember to mention  "rationality" in such
           | conversations whenever we speak of things like "rigidity".
           | 
           | Rigidity is a kind of irrational stubbornness, and
           | unwillingness to consider alternatives when reason compels
           | otherwise. Someone who is principled and has a reasoned basis
           | for his principles isn't stubborn or rigid. He's principled.
           | His certainty isn't irrational, because it is rooted in the
           | best justifications he has, perhaps even very good
           | justifications that have successfully resisted all
           | counterarguments he has heard, perhaps justifications that
           | necessarily follow and could not be otherwise. Certainty is
           | not a sin if rationally justified. Indeed, there is a
           | performative contradiction in claiming that it is with
           | certainty.
        
             | UniverseHacker wrote:
             | Good point, those are totally different things, but it is
             | often hard for someone else to tell the difference unless
             | you explain.... explaining can also be a complex issue in
             | office politics, because some people will see explaining as
             | seeking and requiring their approval, and therefore
             | subordinating yourself to them.
        
         | umvi wrote:
         | I feel like it's not just ageism - software development itself
         | is so big now that it's fractured to the point that there are
         | now strongly opinionated camps that are "stuck in their ways
         | and unable to change - even when faced with evidence to the
         | contrary. "
         | 
         | For example, certain web dev crowds that love (in my very
         | biased opinion) really slow, bloated and/or over complicated
         | tooling to do simple things. But only because they've never
         | ventured outside of their ecosystem to the great beyond and
         | "that's how everyone does it".
        
           | sroussey wrote:
           | The nice thing about the JS ecosystem is there there is no
           | "how everyone does it".
           | 
           | It's as if you had Ruby where Rails was only 10% of the
           | market.
           | 
           | Some people say it's the problem, but I like the egalitarian
           | aspect of it.
        
         | yodsanklai wrote:
         | Sounds like an extremely prejudiced individual...
        
       | j-scott wrote:
       | I've lurked on hacker news for a number of years, and this post
       | is what inspired me to finally make an account. Thank you for
       | sharing; this aligns with my current situation and reinforces my
       | recent decision that I need to make a change.
        
         | dnoberon wrote:
         | I hope that the change goes well!
        
       | slibhb wrote:
       | The email could have been pared down significantly. The idea that
       | a programmer might want to solve problems directly rather than
       | manage others should be well known at this point. The company I
       | work for has an "individual contributor" career track for this
       | reason. You can simply say it straight out without all the fluff,
       | which is most of the email.
       | 
       | That aside, I'm happy it worked out and I understand it's hard to
       | send an email like that.
        
         | jll29 wrote:
         | > The company I work for has an "individual contributor" career
         | track for this reason.
         | 
         | I once worked for a large information company that had a split
         | between technical career paths (individual contributors to
         | architects) and managerial career paths (individual contributor
         | to manager to directors). So I stated in my HR profile that I
         | aspire a technical career track to make sure, and told my
         | management.
         | 
         | A few months on, I was sitting on a beach in Croatia during a
         | vacation with my now-wife when my phone rang, and my boss told
         | me I was promoted to Director. The reasoning was that the group
         | I was leading would be taken more seriously if it was headed by
         | someone who was himself at Director level, the same level as
         | the peers that I would be doing projects for/with. Thankfully
         | my team was small enough so I could stay reasonably technical,
         | but I still envied the folks that "were allowed to write code
         | every day" a bit.
        
       | martin293 wrote:
       | How did it work out for you in the end?
        
       | hluska wrote:
       | I enjoyed the article and it reminded me of many experiences in
       | my career. However, this sentence bothers me:
       | 
       | "I felt like by 40 I needed to move on from engineering because
       | if I didn't, I'd be like the few older workers I'd dealt with in
       | my career. I felt like they moved too slow, were stuck in their
       | ways, and unable to change - even when faced with evidence to the
       | contrary."
       | 
       | I'm in my forties and none of those things are true about me. Nor
       | are they true about any of the other older developers I know.
       | There isn't this magic switch that goes off when we turn forty.
       | 
       | When I extrapolate from there, it makes me genuinely wonder how
       | many of the writer's problems stem from the position versus how
       | many stem from a serious lack of empathy and the communication
       | difficulties that creates.
       | 
       | The best management advice that I ever received was to always
       | consider if a management problem is actually the sign of a
       | personal problem. If it is, it's my job to manage to fix that
       | before I make my workplace more toxic.
        
         | recursive wrote:
         | Having decades of experience gives me a certain degree of
         | skepticism about promises that some shiny new widget will solve
         | all my problems. From the outside, this might look like I'm
         | stuck in my ways.
        
         | partypete wrote:
         | For what it's worth, I am a relatively young engineer who has
         | recently been working very closely with other engineers over
         | the age of 55 on a daily basis. It has been one of the more
         | enriching periods in my career so far. I often wonder if the
         | ageism that I see so often referred to on Hackernews is more
         | projection than reality because I consistently find it pleasant
         | to work with individuals who have a very large body of
         | experience to draw from. Ageism in general baffles me as one
         | could very well ask the question: "would you rather have a
         | carpenter with 2 years of experience working on your house, or
         | one with 30 years of experience?" The answer seems obvious to
         | me, and the question could easily be applied to software
         | engineering.
        
           | howard941 wrote:
           | Being on the receiving end of ageism I can assure you it's
           | not the victim doing the projecting. Management, that's the
           | problem.
        
         | mrj wrote:
         | I don't feel that way either. But the 40+ year old devs when I
         | was a fresh faced kid where from a whole different world. One
         | guy wouldn't let go of Novell running on DOS. There are hard
         | paradigm switches sometimes in tech, but many fewer today than
         | back then. Every big switch loses some people that decide,
         | "nope don't like it" and don't keep up.
         | 
         | I really, really think that most ageism in tech is driven by
         | similar memories of the old crowd when we were coming up. I
         | mean, I fought for years (years!) to get Linux accepted by the
         | older devs and had to sneak Postgres past the Oracle
         | greybeards. Yet I am not that person blocking progress now, nor
         | do I see the same with my peers. If a new tech has merit, we
         | learn it. We grew up with tech and are plenty used to making
         | those switches.
         | 
         | If anything, I'm way better at handling change than when I was
         | younger and headstrong. And 25 years in industry has given me
         | lots of practice.
        
       | pacija wrote:
       | To realize one does not want to climb the ladder is fine. To
       | realize there isn't any ladder to climb is enlightenment.
        
       | big-green-man wrote:
       | It's said that people rise to the level of their incompetence.
       | Some leaders might see this and think, this guy is dangerous and
       | we can't have that. If I were a leader at his firm and I got that
       | email I'd be thrilled. If everyone admit their limits and thought
       | like this all companies would run more smoothly. He rises to the
       | level of maximum competence, the perfect place for him, he won't
       | be bitter about not getting the next promotion and cause trouble
       | by leaving for seemingly greener pastures, and he will be
       | reliable in handling his work load because he's comfortable with
       | it. People like this are valuable assets in an organization, it's
       | a shame that a lot of people don't see it, they look upon ladder
       | climbing as admirable, but ambition is about taking you where you
       | want to be, recognizing when you've achieved that is much more
       | admirable.
        
       | arp242 wrote:
       | > I felt like by 40 I needed to move on from engineering because
       | if I didn't, I'd be like the few older workers I'd dealt with in
       | my career. I felt like they moved too slow, were stuck in their
       | ways, and unable to change - even when faced with evidence to the
       | contrary.
       | 
       | There are always people who have a lot of "soft power" just on
       | account of years on the job. This probably happens everywhere, in
       | all types of jobs. I've also seen this in sales departments and
       | warehouses. This is compounded by the fact that incompetency
       | tends to chase away the competent (not even "talented", just
       | "competent") once the incompetency reaches a critical mass.
       | 
       | I do feel that lack of older programmers saying "steady on there
       | kiddo" is a problem. "Stuck in your ways"? Maybe. But there's a
       | lot of value in both "proven to work" and "knowing the devil
       | you're dealing with".
        
       ___________________________________________________________________
       (page generated 2024-08-30 23:02 UTC)