[HN Gopher] Cautionary tale on using Chase bank for indie business
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       Cautionary tale on using Chase bank for indie business
        
       Author : nell
       Score  : 232 points
       Date   : 2024-08-23 16:38 UTC (6 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (jxnl.co)
 (TXT) w3m dump (jxnl.co)
        
       | nell wrote:
       | I followed the saga as Jason was going through this. You may not
       | have the same sway as large entities if you are an indie dev.
        
       | briandw wrote:
       | I know that it's an extra expense, but shouldn't you get a lawyer
       | involved first thing?
        
         | jxnlco wrote:
         | i was just a dude with 3 contractors, i figured it'd just get
         | resolved cause i didnt do anything wrong...
        
           | stuff4ben wrote:
           | You run a business without a lawyer? Ballsy!
        
             | appletrotter wrote:
             | Not uncommon
        
             | jxnlco wrote:
             | indie consulting is pretty small scale
        
               | BizarroLand wrote:
               | It probably wouldn't hurt you to make a lawyer
               | acquaintance and put one on retainer. A few hundred bucks
               | upfront and you'll have someone you can call to help take
               | care of things like this.
        
           | briandw wrote:
           | I can absolutely see myself falling into that same trap.
           | Thinking that it's just a misunderstanding and that it'll get
           | resolved any day now, just have to do one more thing. They
           | can't be that unreasonable right? The unfortunate lesson that
           | that you have to assume the worst and escalate right away.
        
             | commercialnix wrote:
             | This.
        
           | commercialnix wrote:
           | You need access to a good lawyer or you're going to get run
           | over. When you sue, you can sue for legal costs, damages to
           | your business, and punitive damages.
        
         | galaxyLogic wrote:
         | Lawyer would be great but it may be that you have agreed to a
         | contract which says you cannot sue them, only arbitration.
        
           | criddell wrote:
           | Arbitration isn't necessarily a bad thing. And you probably
           | still want to have a lawyer involved.
        
       | londons_explore wrote:
       | Diversifying in many cases won't help you.
       | 
       | If a bank suspects fraud, they can tell other banks about their
       | suspicion, which will cause _all_ banks to freeze your accounts
       | and none will be able to tell you why.
        
         | leotravis10 wrote:
         | Especially if/when a person or business goes into the
         | ChexSystems "blacklist" [1] where that individual or business
         | can't have a bank account in the US, Canada, and EU for five to
         | seven years.
         | 
         | [1] https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/banking/blocked-by-
         | chexsy...
        
           | meowster wrote:
           | I wonder if anyone has successfully sued a credit-reporting
           | business for libel.
        
         | ravenstine wrote:
         | Would this also apply to credit unions? I feel like a credit
         | union is less likely to give a f*** about what some bank tells
         | them, and a bank probably doesn't want to help credit unions
         | anyway. Am I wrong?
        
       | 650REDHAIR wrote:
       | The most important lesson learned here is not to ever deal with
       | retail banking at the branch. Not only do they not care they
       | aren't given the authority or autonomy to help you.
       | 
       | By trying to do this at multiple branches across the country OP
       | likely made the problem worse as those actions raise suspicions
       | even more.
       | 
       | With that much money after the first day of inaction by support
       | he should have CC'd every department from legal@ to the C-suite.
        
         | oasisbob wrote:
         | This may vary a lot by bank.
         | 
         | At the small regional bank I used to work for accounts were
         | assigned a home branch, typically where the account was first
         | opened, and that branch had enhanced responsibilities in terms
         | of servicing and maintaining the relationship.
         | 
         | Chase is big enough that their KYC fallout queues probably have
         | an entire team working them, and it wouldn't matter who else
         | you CC on the email.
         | 
         | ("Hey Joe, come quick! Just got an email from someone claiming
         | they need their money we just froze...")
        
           | calmbonsai wrote:
           | Can confirm KYC really helps (in reverse) at small/regional
           | banks. Shout-out to Midfirst Bank
           | https://www.midfirst.com/about-us for walking the walk.
           | 
           | I deliberately flow a higher percentage of transactions
           | through my, literally 10 min walk away, regional bank branch.
           | I also occasionally (~once/month), literally walk into the
           | lobby (shocking I know) to say "hi!" when withdrawing cash at
           | the ATM for travel.
           | 
           | They know me by name & face. I'm not just a number to the
           | tellers, the manager, and the vp, and likewise back to them.
           | 
           | Shockingly, I get fees waived for wires the occasional
           | cashier's check, and am appraised of anything else going on
           | with the website, upcoming services, and pending transactions
           | (even at high relative holding percentages from one-time
           | routes) flow through like butter.
           | 
           | Relationship banking at its finest.
        
           | 650REDHAIR wrote:
           | But this isn't a KYC issue and clearly escalating worked.
           | 
           | Any time I've ever had issues that weren't resolved within
           | 24hrs by t1 support I've sent a succinct, mostly emotionless
           | email to anyone I could find and it's worked every time.
           | Phone companies, banks, hell even the government.
        
           | crote wrote:
           | > Chase is big enough that their KYC fallout queues probably
           | have an entire team working them, and it wouldn't matter who
           | else you CC on the email.
           | 
           | The trick is to become _so incredibly annoying_ that some CxO
           | / VP is going to bump you ahead in the queue and assign a
           | dedicated customer experience manager.
           | 
           | Personally, if a bank were to steal $180.000 of my money, a
           | few weeks in I'd probably start considering sticking "Chase
           | is a criminal organization" posters on the doors of their
           | regional headquarters, or getting tickets to industry events
           | just so I can ask them at the Q&A where my money is. They may
           | think "computer says no" is an acceptable answer, but that
           | doesn't mean I can't make their life a living hell too - so
           | why not make _my_ problem _our_ problem?
        
             | mandibles wrote:
             | > Chase is a criminal organization
             | 
             | This should be your operating assumption from Day 1.
        
             | 77pt77 wrote:
             | >The trick is to become so incredibly annoying that some
             | CxO / VP is going to bump you ahead in the queue and assign
             | a dedicated customer experience manager.
             | 
             | Hard to be annoying when they can just completely ignore
             | and redirect it to /dev/null
        
               | forgetfreeman wrote:
               | It gets a lot easier to be annoying when you add
               | meatspace antics to your portfolio.
        
               | 77pt77 wrote:
               | > Yes officer, this neerdowell right here.
        
         | mminer237 wrote:
         | It's definitely exacerbated by being a big bank though. If I
         | have a problem with my local bank, I can literally walk into
         | the branch and probably just talk to a VP about it straight-
         | away if needed.
        
           | syntheticnature wrote:
           | Yes, though banks use "VP" in a title the same way "Senior"
           | is used in software.
        
             | bluGill wrote:
             | This is a legal thing - a vice president or above is
             | required to sign off on a large loan (like a house loan
             | which isn't all that big to a bank). Thus banks give lots
             | of people vice president titles, but those people don't
             | have any authority except to give the large loans. They get
             | an impressive title though.
        
           | smeej wrote:
           | This is even more true at a local credit union.
           | 
           | Add in the co-op _network_ of credit unions, where you can go
           | to any branch of any of the member unions (50k+ branches last
           | time I checked, but it 's been awhile) and it's hard for me
           | to understand why people bother with these big banks.
        
             | nraynaud wrote:
             | When I looked at local credit unions in Arizona, none of
             | them would be able to deal with international transactions.
        
             | skybrian wrote:
             | Sometimes your credit union turns out to be Patelco and you
             | get locked out for a while [1].
             | 
             | Since we can't vet a bank's IT infrastructure, having
             | multiple bank accounts seems like the only way to guard
             | against certain risks.
             | 
             | [1] https://www.northbaybusinessjournal.com/article/industr
             | ynews...
        
             | bigstrat2003 wrote:
             | The only reason I'm not currently banking at a credit union
             | is because my wife prefers banks. I can't understand why
             | she does, but ultimately marital harmony is worth more to
             | me than using a credit union. If it wasn't for that, I
             | would never have left my credit union in a million years.
             | They rock.
        
         | jxnlco wrote:
         | yeah it was hard to fit in my travel schedule, i totally agree
         | it was a terrible experience losing contact and starting over
         | with many people
        
         | throwway120385 wrote:
         | I would've had a lawyer on retainer within the first week and
         | had them in touch with the legal department until I got my
         | check. We've had similar weird issues with our home address and
         | the mortgage company that suddenly got cleared up when we put
         | our lawyer in touch with their lawyer and there turned out to
         | be a very simple form and process for changing the address of
         | the property.
        
         | jonnycomputer wrote:
         | I'm going to have to say that getting a lawyer on board with
         | that much money after the second obstacle would be first
         | priority.
        
       | physhster wrote:
       | Business or Personal, do not ever rely on a single bank. Ever.
       | Have a backup, ideally far enough from your "main" bank that any
       | issue doesn't bleed over.
        
       | benzible wrote:
       | About 10 years ago a startup I co-founded had about $3M in a
       | Chase account. We received a notification that they were closing
       | our account within 30 days. We weren't able to get any
       | information but I assume this was a KYC false positive. The only
       | thing I can think of is that we had some investors from the
       | Middle East. We had no problem withdrawing our funds but since
       | then, I've opened another business account and a personal travel
       | credit card with Chase, both of which were shut down within
       | weeks, so apparently I'm personally flagged for life.
        
         | jxnlco wrote:
         | holy shit. They never gave me an answer but the last thing the
         | KYC team did (outside of executive branch) was just confirm a
         | 25k invoice =_=
        
         | benzible wrote:
         | Just for posterity, we received this on 6/28/2013. Looks like
         | they actually gave us 60 days.
         | 
         | > Dear [redacted] Inc.
         | 
         | > A review of our records indicates that we are unable to
         | retain your above-referenced account(s) (the "Accounts") at
         | JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A. (the "Bank").
         | 
         | > The terms and conditions governing the Accounts ("Account
         | Rules") provide that the Bank may close your Accounts at any
         | time. Although the Account Rules do not require the Bank to
         | provide you with advance notice of the termination of the
         | Accounts, as a courtesy, please be advised that the Accounts
         | will be terminated and closed after the close of business on
         | 08/26/2013. Any items presented for payment on the Accounts and
         | not paid prior to termination will be returned unpaid. If the
         | Accounts were covered by Overdraft Protection, as that term is
         | defined in the Account Rules, such Overdraft Protection will
         | terminate with respect to the Accounts on the Termination Date.
         | 
         | > Please do not deposit checks to the Accounts within five (5)
         | business days of the Termination Date or any earlier date that
         | you close the Accounts. Please arrange to cause any Automated
         | Clearing House or ACH deposits or transfers to the Accounts to
         | be terminated prior to closure. Provided that no checks have
         | been deposited to your Accounts within the five (5) business
         | day period before the Accounts are closed and no deposits of
         | any kind have been made to your Accounts within a two (2)
         | business day period before such closure, upon closure the Bank
         | will, at your risk, mail to you at the address set forth above
         | a check for the balance of your Accounts, less any service
         | charges assessed to the Accounts. If deposits are made to the
         | Accounts prior to closure inconsistent with the foregoing, the
         | Bank will mail your check as soon as reasonably possible
         | following closure of the Accounts. If you wish to make other
         | arrangements for receipt of any funds remaining in the Accounts
         | or if you have questions, please contact 1-877-691-8086 OPTION-
         | NUMBER-1.
         | 
         | > Notwithstanding the Bank's intent to allow the Accounts to
         | remain open until as set forth above, the Bank reserves the
         | right to close the Accounts earlier, at any time, for any
         | reason, without notice.
         | 
         | > Sincerely,
         | 
         | > Chase Operating Loss Prevention
        
           | Bluestein wrote:
           | > Loss Prevention
           | 
           | For "prevention," seems like a great way to lose customers
           | ...
        
           | wcarss wrote:
           | did you retype this? Assuming not, I just noticed they made
           | the "if" -> "fi" typo twice and in two different ways --
           | interesting that what amounts to boilerplate can have that
           | stuff get through.
        
             | benzible wrote:
             | It was a photo or scan attached to an old email, copied the
             | text via Apple's OCR. I'll correct the text.
        
           | pdonis wrote:
           | _> the Bank may close your Accounts at any time...the Account
           | Rules do not require the Bank to provide you with advance
           | notice of the termination of the Accounts_
           | 
           | I assume most of the big banks probably have similar
           | language, which would be a huge red flag to me for a small
           | business account. But what about banks like Mercury Bank,
           | mentioned in the article as being more supportive of small
           | businesses? Do their terms of service provide at least some
           | kind of guarantee about due process if the bank has a
           | question about your account?
        
             | closeparen wrote:
             | If a bank suspects you of money laundering, they cannot
             | discuss it with you. A bank employee could go to federal
             | prison just for leaking the existence of a suspicious
             | activity report (SAR).
        
         | mijoharas wrote:
         | > I've opened another business account and a personal travel
         | credit card with Chase
         | 
         | Out of interest, why would you do that after your previous
         | experience with them?
        
           | benzible wrote:
           | The Chase Sapphire card was rated as the best travel card. I
           | had no idea that I had been flagged personally at the time I
           | applied.
           | 
           | I can't remember why I chose them for a business account. At
           | the time I was working under the assumption that this was a
           | "lightning strike" type of event which could have happened
           | with any bank. I'm more inclined to believe it's Chase-
           | specific now, or at least more likely with Chase, esp. based
           | on other anecdotes in this thread! I was also inclined to
           | believe that most large banks are terrible. For example, I
           | have experienced extremely poor customer service with B of A,
           | and Wells Fargo is a very sleazy company. However, my
           | experience with Chase is by far the worst I've personally
           | experienced.
           | 
           | I'm a very happy customer of Mercury Bank for my current
           | business, FWIW.
        
             | pdonis wrote:
             | _> I 'm more inclined to believe it's Chase-specific now,
             | or at least more likely with Chase, esp. based on other
             | anecdotes in this thread!_
             | 
             | The only reason anecdotes in this thread are about Chase is
             | that Chase is the bank you mentioned in your article. If
             | you had mentioned any other of the big banks I am sure you
             | would get similar anecdotes. All of the big banks work
             | basically the same way. For example, as I commented in
             | another response upthread, they probably all have similar
             | "we can screw your business any time we like and there's
             | nothing you can do about it" language in their terms of
             | service.
             | 
             |  _> my experience with Chase is by far the worst I 've
             | personally experienced._
             | 
             | Have any of your experiences with other big banks been
             | small business accounts? If not, that's an obvious reason
             | for your Chase experience to be worse.
        
         | choilive wrote:
         | Had a similar experience at a startup I co-founded. Chase's
         | risk or compliance team suddenly decided to close our accounts.
         | Possibly because we were in the crypto space.
        
       | gojomo wrote:
       | Crypto solves this. Well, eventually, after initially making it
       | worse, because all your crypto-adjacent transactions in the
       | meantime make legacy banks extra-hair-trigger suspicious.
        
         | xur17 wrote:
         | This seems somewhat contentious, but having some assets outside
         | of the banks is a pretty reasonable derisking mechanism.
         | Bitcoin, and some stablecoins seem like a wise choice.
        
         | ProllyInfamous wrote:
         | My local credit union has gone from _anti crypto_ to _fully
         | support_ ; I was one of a dozen or so people who were able to
         | provide legitimate datapoints to support bitcoin usages that
         | weren't illegal.
         | 
         | So glad I was able to just walk in to the local HQ and have a
         | sit-down with the person who ultimately authorized crypto
         | exchange transactions. YMMV
        
         | smeej wrote:
         | Some crypto does. Many cryptos are worse.
         | 
         | For example, USDC accounts can be frozen by a single entity
         | with no recourse whatsoever.
        
         | lisper wrote:
         | > Crypto solves this.
         | 
         | Not really. It just replaces this problem with a different but
         | equally difficult problem: managing your crypto keys, which is
         | a skill in and of itself. And if you hire someone to do it for
         | you now you are right back where you started, trusting a third
         | party.
         | 
         | The right answer IMHO is to do business with a bank that is
         | small enough that you have a contact there whom you personally
         | know and will pick up the phone when you call.
        
           | ravenstine wrote:
           | > managing your crypto keys, which is a skill in and of
           | itself.
           | 
           | Um, depending on how complicated/paranoid you want to get?
           | 
           | Install the Phoenix wallet app and you've got your keys and
           | Lightning node ready to go, pending added liquidity. Sure,
           | it's not maximally secure, but a person can perform
           | transactions outside the banking system pretty easily this
           | way. No need to so consciously "manage" anything.
           | 
           | Phone not secure enough? Fine - then get a hardware wallet
           | like Ledger.
           | 
           | But maybe I'm misunderstanding your point?
           | 
           | > And if you hire someone to do it for you now you are right
           | back where you started, trusting a third party.
           | 
           | If, by hiring someone, you mean using a custodian like
           | Kraken, then you're still solving a problem by not dealing
           | with the traditional banking system. Sure, you're back to
           | trusting a third party, but that's really not the issue at
           | hand, but avoiding Big Bank.
           | 
           | > The right answer IMHO is to do business with a bank that is
           | small enough that you have a contact there whom you
           | personally know and will pick up the phone when you call.
           | 
           | Seems like a nice idea, yet very optimistic. Is everyone
           | supposed to have a personal contact from within a small bank?
           | Probably works for some people, but involves luck and
           | wouldn't scale. The issue isn't really being solved this way.
           | 
           | The closest compromise might be to work with credit unions
           | instead of banks.
        
             | lisper wrote:
             | > Install the Phoenix wallet
             | 
             | That's trusting a third party.
             | 
             | > get a hardware wallet like Ledger
             | 
             | Again, trusting a third party, and one which had a data
             | breach less than a year ago:
             | 
             | https://www.ledger.com/blog/security-incident-report
             | 
             | And even if you want to discount that, you still have the
             | risk of physically losing the wallet or having it stolen.
             | 
             | > If, by hiring someone, you mean using a custodian like
             | Kraken,
             | 
             | Yes, that's what I mean.
             | 
             | > then you're still solving a problem by not dealing with
             | the traditional banking system.
             | 
             | And, like I said, replacing it with a different problem, of
             | dealing with and trusting a crypto custodian.
             | 
             | > Is everyone supposed to have a personal contact from
             | within a small bank?
             | 
             | In a perfect world, yes. In this world, anyone running a
             | business should have at least one such contact.
             | 
             | > The closest compromise might be to work with credit
             | unions instead of banks.
             | 
             | Yes, that's also a good solution, much better than crypto
             | IMHO.
        
               | throw101010 wrote:
               | > That's trusting a third party.
               | 
               | It's not, Phoenix is a non-custodial wallet. They provide
               | one shortly-custodial service to on-board on the
               | Lightning Network (to provide a seamless experience, but
               | you can do the process manually with your own node if you
               | prefer). Once the channel on LN is open, it is non-
               | custodial and trustless.
               | 
               | For Hardware Wallets, plenty of other providers exist,
               | exempt of data breaches and dodgy services unlike Ledger.
               | For Bitcoin Coldcard comes to mind.
               | 
               | For the risk of physically losing your keys, seems like a
               | less random, more in your control, risk than trusting
               | Chase Bank, see OP.
               | 
               | > trusting a crypto custodian
               | 
               | If that's your choice, at least you have the option to
               | avoid this with crypto... that's one thing I will never
               | get with people who systematically bash Bitcoin, nobody
               | forces you to use it, it provides you optionality and
               | full control of your assets, something traditional bank
               | and fiat do not offer at all, you are forced by the state
               | to pay your taxes with the currency they tell you, you
               | are practically forced to use banking as a cash only life
               | is pretty complicated these days... so why hate on a new
               | option.
        
               | commercialnix wrote:
               | > and one which had a data breach less than a year ago
               | 
               | Did not impact the viability of the hardware product at
               | all.
        
           | commercialnix wrote:
           | > but equally difficult problem: managing your crypto keys
           | 
           | Yeah, equally difficult, if you have like room-temp IQ.
        
       | pengaru wrote:
       | When I first moved to the SF Bay it tickled me to find there was
       | no retail Chase Bank presence at all.
       | 
       | Then the financial collapse and bailouts happened, Chase scooped
       | up WaMu, and now Chase is everywhere here. :sadpanda:
       | 
       | I won't even take money from their ATMs if I can avoid it, my
       | bank covers ATM fees, but f*ck giving that company another dime.
        
         | wanderr wrote:
         | Is there a bank you recommend? Mostly I use online banks but
         | every now and then you just need to go to a physical bank. I am
         | a bit nomadic so one with branches all over the country would
         | be good, although I know those are the most likely to be
         | terrible
        
           | techsupporter wrote:
           | Most credit unions participate in the credit union shared
           | branching network, so I recommend joining your local credit
           | union of choice. You can then go into the branches of several
           | other credit unions to do most banking needs.
           | 
           | The caveat is if there's a major problem, like here, then
           | you'd need to deal directly with your home credit union.
        
             | wanderr wrote:
             | Oh wow, I had never heard of that. I already have a CU on
             | the other side of the country that I still use for loans
             | because they've always had the lowest rates. I'll have to
             | see if they participate.
        
       | martin_ wrote:
       | Glad you got your money back Jason!
       | 
       | Not often you get to read a post from the future, either ;)
       | "posted on 2024/09/21"
        
         | jxnlco wrote:
         | fuck lol, i messed up the date but if i fix it it breaks the
         | url
        
       | tantalor wrote:
       | Title is different?
       | 
       | Should be: Chasing Chase: Why I'll Never Trust Chase Bank Again,
       | A Yuppie Nightmare
        
       | CliffStoll wrote:
       | Similar experience: Citibank Retirement.
       | 
       | I had about $80,000 in IRA/CD's. I'd created & contributed to
       | them over a period of 35 years.
       | 
       | Last year, it's time to retire, and Citibank won't give me half
       | the money. It seems that some CD's are for "Cliff Stoll" and some
       | for "Clifford Stoll".
       | 
       | Citibank Retirement demanded a "Marriage Certificate, Divorce
       | Decree, or Court Order" to demonstrate that "Cliff Stoll" is the
       | same person as "Clifford Stoll".
       | 
       | Took more than 8 months, dozens of emails, five visits to
       | Citibank offices, and a letter to the Citibank president, to
       | shake loose money that I'd deposited across three decades.
        
         | codetrotter wrote:
         | Infuriating. That kind of thing is what makes me wish I could
         | not have to ever deal with a bank ever again.
        
           | otteromkram wrote:
           | Who said you have to deal with a bank? That's not written
           | into law, is it?
           | 
           | Try a credit union if you want to avoid banks.
        
             | Djdjur7373bb wrote:
             | Is the experience that different?
             | 
             | I've never tried one, but I assumed the level of
             | bureaucracy must be similar in order to defend against
             | fraud and fulfill regulatory requirements.
        
               | ceejayoz wrote:
               | It is absolutely different.
               | 
               | I can walk into my credit union's offices - they have
               | just two branches - and talk to someone with decision
               | making power. An actual human being picks up the phone if
               | I call. Their customer service has been impeccable
               | despite some complex asks.
               | 
               | I am unlikely to be able to do this if someone steals my
               | crypto.
               | 
               | (My security question when calling in was once "you sent
               | an email last week that made my boss very happy, what was
               | it about?")
        
               | ethbr1 wrote:
               | Pros of a credit union: many processes are still
               | manually-controlled
               | 
               | Cons of a credit union: many processes are still
               | manually-controlled
               | 
               | There's a lot of scenarios where that's the lesser of two
               | evils, though. And god it's nice to be able to walk into
               | a branch, explain the situation to someone, and get "Let
               | me see what I can do. There, all fixed" in reply.
               | 
               | Instead of "Oh, the system won't let me do that."
        
               | piperswe wrote:
               | At my previous credit union (before moving), the local
               | branch manager knew me and my family (mom, husband, etc)
               | by name. And she either (1) had actual power to make
               | things happen or (2) could just call the person that did
               | in any given circumstance.
               | 
               | This is a medium sized credit union, with a dozen or so
               | branches.
        
               | unanimous wrote:
               | Banks are for-profit and credit unions are not-for-
               | profit. Banks will do whatever they think they can get
               | away with to increase their profits, which affects every
               | interaction you have with them. I've had accounts at
               | Citibank and now multiple credit unions, and I regret
               | ever having had accounts at Citibank. They were
               | constantly making things difficult in new ways. I don't
               | know how the bureaucracy compares, but how they treat
               | customers is definitely different.
        
               | gopher_space wrote:
               | The main difference is that a credit union actually wants
               | clients at your income level. They're not necessarily
               | more competent.
        
           | Djdjur7373bb wrote:
           | It's this exact sentiment that drives many to crypto, despite
           | the challenges in spending it at this point.
        
           | EvanAnderson wrote:
           | Doubly infuriating because it's Cliff Stoll they fucked-with.
           | 
           | At least I know never to do business with Citi.
        
         | ghaff wrote:
         | I've had some weird experiences related to my address although
         | none were really a serious problem. My street name changed
         | (probably when an interstate spur was put in about 40 years
         | ago) and I _still_ have issues now and then with geolocation.
        
           | ProllyInfamous wrote:
           | >My street name changed and I still have issues now and then
           | with geolocation.
           | 
           | This happened at my previous house, except with an additional
           | twist: the street name was changed to an identical
           | streetname, _less than a mile away_ , but within a different
           | city.
           | 
           | Adding to the confusion, my address was duplicated _on that
           | other street_ with a commercial brokerage which often gets
           | sued. How do I know about these lawsuits? -- because several
           | process servers showed up (over about eight years living
           | there) to sue the other address. They never believed my
           | factual explanation: the numbers repeat on the same road, so
           | closely ( "yeah, _ok buddy_ ").
        
             | jxnlco wrote:
             | what... what did you doo...
        
               | ProllyInfamous wrote:
               | Usually just accepted the documents/lawsuit, then drove
               | up the mountain to give it to the intended recipient. The
               | first time this happened, business was closed... so I
               | just taped it to the door (and then the owner came out
               | LIVID, thinking _I was the process server_...).
               | 
               | Only once did the process server actually look on his
               | phone to see that there were in fact two same-addressed
               | properties (and obviously mine was residential).
        
               | lcnPylGDnU4H9OF wrote:
               | Of course, what you did was the kind and polite thing but
               | would the process server have any recourse to, "You would
               | be failing to serve that notice if you leave it with me"?
        
               | antimemetics wrote:
               | I would just shrug and chuck it in the trash tbh.
               | Probably not the first or second time but if it happens
               | often and they don't listen then definitely
        
         | dmoy wrote:
         | Congrats on the retiring!
         | 
         | Are you still doing the hats & bottles or did you retire from
         | that too?
        
           | CliffStoll wrote:
           | Thanks D'moy! I'm still having fun with Klein bottles and
           | other topological manifolds. Toying with immersions of the
           | projective plane and several knot embeddings.
           | 
           | At the moment, retirement mainly means "start taking out
           | required minimum distributions".
           | 
           | All the same, I wonder: How do you retire from a marginally
           | profitable nano-business built upon glass mathematical
           | shapes? How'd I ever reach 74 years old?
        
             | pjmorris wrote:
             | The Acme Klein bottle and its packaging materials are among
             | my prize possessions.
             | 
             | And 'The Cuckoo's Egg' was a great read.
             | 
             | Thank you for being you.
        
               | CliffStoll wrote:
               | // blush //
        
               | apocadam wrote:
               | Aside from those I also loved the photos I got with the
               | bottle and him in his garden. Thanks Cliff (:
        
             | rolandr wrote:
             | Find someone interested in continuing that business under a
             | long term (royalty or such) or short term (lump sum)
             | financial arrangement that is acceptable to you? I think
             | there will be interested people, maybe even within this
             | community (not suggesting I'm one of them, though).
        
               | ethbr1 wrote:
               | Or he could go full Japanese and adopt the business heir
               | into his family.
               | 
               | ... actually, that might be safer so as to not raise any
               | red flags with Citibank. /s
        
             | jeff_carr wrote:
             | There are lots of us that made good money over the years
             | and your books were important to lots of us.
             | 
             | Sell signed copies of your books for $1000 at the klein
             | bottle store so we can buy them. Let us help you have fun
             | in your retirement! (A signature or signed bottle would be
             | awesome too.)
        
         | ProllyInfamous wrote:
         | I'm having the same issue due to changing my surname (male). So
         | far I've mentioned that millions of women experience name
         | changes during marriage... to deaf ears.
         | 
         | The good news for this is that my primary stock has gone up 80%
         | (since this issue became apparent, just two years ago), and it
         | has encouraged me to live more frugally. Eventually?
         | 
         | Unrelated: thanks for the awesome Klein Mug, Cliff!
        
         | dextrous wrote:
         | Off-topic: I loved "The Cuckoo's Egg", was part of what
         | influenced me to get a CS degree. Fantastic read.
        
         | cbm-vic-20 wrote:
         | Cliff, you've probably got the contacts necessary who could get
         | their way in there and change the records for you. :)
        
         | jmvoodoo wrote:
         | Unrelated, but I read your book in the 90s as a teenager and it
         | had a huge impact on my life. Still one of my favorite books.
         | Thank you.
        
           | CliffStoll wrote:
           | Thanks JM. Long time back, and lotsa changes.
           | 
           | Cleaning out my attic last month, I just found a stash of
           | punch cards left over from the 1980's. Some paper-tape that
           | has my phd dissertation. And a fortran manual from my high
           | school's IBM-1620. Oh my...
        
             | sizzle wrote:
             | What are you up to these days? Were you able to predict or
             | see the advent of modern AI and LLMs coming from earlier in
             | your career? Thoughts on the future of computing?
             | 
             | Thank you.
        
               | navigate8310 wrote:
               | https://youtu.be/Gj8IA6xOpSk?t=140
        
             | imdsm wrote:
             | I read your book for the first time a few months ago after
             | someone here recommended it. I was hooked. It took me back
             | to my beginnings (99/00) when the internet was different,
             | when we had dial up and there was still discovery.
             | 
             | I appreciate the time you put into writing it -- and the
             | nostalgic enjoyment it brought me.
        
           | jakespencer wrote:
           | Also unrelated, I too read your book in the 90s as a teenager
           | and emailed you, and you emailed me back!
        
         | calmbonsai wrote:
         | Ah, Citi.
         | 
         | Related to an earlier comment I posted on a different thread
         | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=41316889 , I didn't name
         | the "national bank", but I now feel perfectly comfortable
         | outing "Citibank" as the national bank that I will no longer
         | (personally) do business with. Corporate stuff is a different
         | matter.
         | 
         | As a matter of policy, they do not empower their front-line
         | (personal) banking CSR reps, and even 1st-level escalation
         | folks. They're basically nothing more than stenographers.
         | 
         | After 20 days of back-and-forth with non-answers, I finally
         | sent them a certified letter giving them 30 days to "take
         | action" or "explain non-action" on a specific dispute amounting
         | to ~$5k.
         | 
         | The responded with a non-reponse bizarre marketing letter in 10
         | days.
         | 
         | I called to verify the prior letter was "on-record" in my
         | account. Given the nature of the postage, it was already
         | verified delivered.
         | 
         | Moving forward, that 15 year+ line-of-credit is just going sit
         | on their books until they close the account. There is no longer
         | a fundamental basis of forthright communication, confidence in
         | competence, and trust to move forward.
        
           | arcanemachiner wrote:
           | Couldn't hurt to keep an eye on the account to make sure
           | those dummies don't start tacking on some "account dormancy
           | fee" or other nonsense like that.
        
             | 77pt77 wrote:
             | Or just go down the Wells Fargo road and start opening
             | accounts on his behalf.
        
           | ethbr1 wrote:
           | > _As a matter of policy, they do not empower their front-
           | line (personal) banking CSR reps_
           | 
           | This appears to be the original sin in most of these
           | scenarios.
           | 
           | Eventually, automation and predictive analytics _will_ break.
           | 
           | If you do not have a customer service org empowered and
           | staffed to (a) investigate what went wrong & (b) make it
           | right, then you will lose customers.
           | 
           | And maybe you're fine with that trickle, but know that the
           | Kafkaesque burning of a relationship means they will _never_
           | do business with you again.
           | 
           | For all its faults, Amazon is an example of a company that
           | still remembers this and seems to empower its support folks.
           | As a counterexample, I severed a 20 year relationship with
           | Bank of America because they disempowered their retail staff
           | to the point of uselessness.
        
           | trinsic2 wrote:
           | > After 20 days of back-and-forth with non-answers, I finally
           | sent them a certified letter giving them 30 days to "take
           | action" or "explain non-action" on a specific dispute
           | amounting to ~$5k.
           | 
           | > The responded with a non-reponse bizarre marketing letter
           | in 10 days.
           | 
           | >I called to verify the prior letter was "on-record" in my
           | account. Given the nature of the postage, it was already
           | verified delivered.
           | 
           | What was the purpose of the certified letter? you can use
           | that in court but did you take any further action?
        
         | immibis wrote:
         | Seems like court order would have been the easier option, but
         | courts intimidate people.
        
         | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
         | Did you show them your TV interview?
         | 
         | :)
         | 
         | Glad you got things straightened out.
         | 
         | Yesterday's SMBC made me think of you: https://www.smbc-
         | comics.com/comic/outside
        
         | burnte wrote:
         | Early this year they messed around with a credit card account I
         | had with them. I immediately said fix it or I cancel today,
         | they refused, I cancelled the account and they've been nagging
         | me to come back for 6 months. Fuck no!
        
         | Balgair wrote:
         | Aside: Hey Cliff, love your work and efforts, glad to hear
         | you're retiring too.
         | 
         | Yeah, we had another issue with Chase like yours and the
         | article's. Finally got around to letting Chase know that a
         | family member had died, took a little while, because, duh. We
         | were all on the accounts together. So, Chase then goes and
         | makes us _all_ down as dead. Freezes everything, then started
         | up the process to put up the money for probate to our various
         | estates (?!). Luckily, we get daily emails about this and were
         | able to go and start everything back up again. It 's still no
         | where near finished up, after about 5 months of weekly visits.
         | They managed to make us undead in their system, but then a week
         | later it would revert. No one ever knew what was going on and
         | still don't. Eventually managed to get a check of all the cash
         | in the checking and savings accounts and have gone and put it
         | all with a local credit union. However, about $120k of
         | retirement savings from my dead family member are still locked
         | up in Chase. No amount of records from the county or newspaper
         | obits or hospice forms can convince Chase that the deceased is
         | actually dead. They, and I am not joking here, said that my
         | family member has to sign off on declaring their death to
         | Chase.
         | 
         | Chase, _never_ again.
         | 
         | I want to be clear to the other readers here: This is your
         | warning that 'something is rotten in Denmark'. When another
         | large fiscal crisis starts up again in ~3 years, you'll now
         | know it's because these banks have become too big to operate,
         | not just fail. Cleaning out that mess is going to be a lot
         | harder than 2008, as all their internal records stink.
        
         | luizfzs wrote:
         | Sorry to hijack. Cliff Stoll the astronomer?
         | 
         | I loved your book! I loved the way it reads. So fluid and
         | interesting.
        
         | 77pt77 wrote:
         | Many decades ago I transfered my money from the USA to Europe.
         | Nothinf much but I didn't want to cross borders with wads of
         | cash even though it's perfectly legal.
         | 
         | I had to give my origin bank everything imaginable, including
         | address, phone, fax of both the destination bank as well as the
         | branch.
         | 
         | All of my ID obviously and the destination account number.
         | 
         | Weeks later I get a message from my destination branch saying
         | they got some money in USD for someone that had a subset of my
         | name but no account information whatsoever.
         | 
         | I said it was for me and thankfully that was it.
         | 
         | What happened?
         | 
         | Eventually I got something that looked like a traceroute of the
         | transfer.
         | 
         | The origin bank used Citibank as an intermediary and at that
         | step everything but the amount, name of the destination bank
         | and my first and last name was lost.
         | 
         | Completely obliterated.
         | 
         | Never trusted them ever since.
        
         | ciupicri wrote:
         | How was it possible for both "Cliff Stoll" and "Clifford Stoll"
         | to exist? Shouldn't your legal name be used as it is (i.e. no
         | nicknames) on all papers? Or did you change your legal name?
        
       | dguido wrote:
       | Strong recommend on using meow.com. You can get interest on your
       | primary checking account, and easy access to high yield treasury
       | management services.
       | 
       | I've been following the Evolve Bank fallout on the FinTech Weekly
       | newsletter, and the whole situation scares me about Mercury. I
       | used to bank with them, but the sanctions by the Federal Reserve
       | and the continued disclosures about lacking KYC and money
       | laundering controls has me worried there are other problems.
        
       | dogleash wrote:
       | Step 1. Think "this is probably fine"
       | 
       | Step 2. Find out it's actually a fucking nightmare
       | 
       | Step 3. Finally stop thinking everyone who worries about
       | obstacles you assume don't happen are tinfoil hat weirdos.
       | 
       | It's always step 3 that gets people.
        
       | camsinko wrote:
       | I went to Chase Bank to withdraw cash for a Facebook deal, and
       | they refused because I didn't have their app. The teller couldn't
       | verify my driver's license or passport, insisting the only way
       | was through their app's 2FA. This is exactly why I stick with
       | credit unions--where I can work with real humans who actually
       | help.
        
       | Arch485 wrote:
       | I know someone who had an almost identical experience with CIBC
       | in Canada: accounts (including payroll) completely frozen, nobody
       | to contact, nobody who can help. Never found out the reason,
       | either.
        
       | fswd wrote:
       | my story with them: Chase bank refused to cash their own Chase
       | cashiers check. Seems crazy but I had to get a lawyer involved.
        
         | jxnlco wrote:
         | thankfully i just DM'd the mercury team and got a temp approval
         | to deposit the 180k
        
       | AshamedCaptain wrote:
       | "Computer says no" is the one customer support response that
       | makes me move my business elsewhere.
        
         | aspenmayer wrote:
         | For those unfamiliar with the reference:
         | 
         | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Computer_says_no
         | 
         | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0YGZPycMEU
         | 
         | For niche, zany sketch comedy, _Little Britain_ is a gem.
        
       | nitwit005 wrote:
       | At a certain point in this story, it felt like time to file the
       | lawsuit. They basically stole the money and wouldn't give it back
       | to the owner.
        
         | MSFT_Edging wrote:
         | That would probably be an expensive lawyer.
        
       | WaitWaitWha wrote:
       | I have been burned by a bank (stagecoach in red field) very
       | similarly.
       | 
       | I now only do my financial transactions with smallish credit
       | unions. Big enough that they can have the services I need, but
       | small enough that my business is a large-ish part of the Unions'
       | business.
       | 
       | This works internationally, not just US or Europe. Most nations
       | have some sort of a member-owned financial cooperatives,
       | equivalent to credit unions.
        
         | throwway120385 wrote:
         | Yeah their abysmal handling of my wife's stolen checks
         | convinced me that we need to dump them as fast as possible. One
         | of the agents basically said "I'm not even going to bother
         | asking my manager to expedite the funds. Don't even bother.
         | They're just going to say no." My wife insisted, and so the
         | agent went away for 60 seconds and came back and said "Okay
         | those funds are back in your account have a nice day." Every
         | interaction with their agents from their fraud department to
         | the regular CSRs went like that. Even getting them to freeze
         | the account didn't happen with the first or second agent she
         | talked to.
        
         | ryandrake wrote:
         | Why would you say "stagecoach in red field" instead of Wells
         | Fargo? I don't get why people are so coy about calling out
         | terrible companies by name publicly. They're not going to kick
         | your door in and shoot your dog. Do you think Wells Fargo (the
         | terrible shitty bank) is going to actually search through HN
         | looking for instances where users said their company name
         | "Wells Fargo" and linked that company name "Wells Fargo" to
         | their reputation "terrible and shitty"? When they find your
         | username, are they going to scour the web to find your real
         | name? And then, when they do, what then? You probably no longer
         | do business with them so there's nothing much they can do in
         | retaliation.
        
           | WaitWaitWha wrote:
           | I presume you are either in the US or Europe. I understand
           | your point. Alas, not everyone is based in countries where
           | civil liberties are not completely eroded. That said, even in
           | the US civil cases with or without merit can destroy a
           | business and individual.
        
             | ryandrake wrote:
             | Happy to edit out my comment if you're actually personally
             | worried about your safety. Although I can't imagine
             | companies having that much free time, no matter what
             | country you live in.
        
               | forgetfreeman wrote:
               | Hold onto your worldview: https://arstechnica.com/tech-
               | policy/2024/01/ebay-hit-with-3m...
        
           | mistercheph wrote:
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EBay_stalking_scandal
           | 
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Barnett_(whistleblower)
           | 
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Lynch_(businessman)
           | 
           | https://www.theguardian.com/uk-
           | news/article/2024/aug/19/mike...
        
       | pickledish wrote:
       | Another story about a startup and chase, from the person who
       | founded hashicorp, it's a fun read:
       | 
       | https://mitchellh.com/writing/my-startup-banking-story
       | 
       | (edited since at first I remembered it being more negative about
       | chase in particular -- but it's really just funny!)
        
         | otteromkram wrote:
         | Did you read to the end?
         | 
         | > I want to make it clear that Chase could've been an excellent
         | banking partner. I never gave them the chance. I never told
         | them what my business does or what I'd use the money for. I
         | never talked to anyone (besides saying what I needed to get off
         | the phone). This story isn't a cautionary tale about Chase, it
         | is rather recounting my naivete as a young, first-time startup
         | founder.
        
           | ungreased0675 wrote:
           | Why would any of that be necessary? They're a bank, not your
           | parents.
        
             | BizarroLand wrote:
             | Exactly!
             | 
             | Entrepreneurialism and nanny states are fundamentally
             | incompatible.
             | 
             | If Chase or any other bank has to know what you had for
             | breakfast in order to hold your money for you, then you
             | shouldn't bank with them as you'll never know when they
             | randomly decide you took money from a bad man and then hold
             | your financial life hostage from you.
        
           | pickledish wrote:
           | Ah, you are right! it's been a while since I read the post,
           | and I mis-remembered it as being more negative about chase
           | than it was. I'll edit my comment as such, thanks for
           | pointing it out
        
       | apercu wrote:
       | I've never used JP Morgan or Chase, but I recently inherited some
       | stock. There was no way to transfer the stock in-kind to another
       | brokerage, for some reason it needed to go from a JP Morgan
       | account to another JP Morgan account. (I didn't want to cash the
       | stock out immediately because I couldn't get info on the basis
       | and what the capital gains taxes would be).
       | 
       | Anyway, sibling knew someone who worked at JP Morgan private bank
       | and they were willing to do all the work so I said "sure".
       | 
       | Turns out Chase and JP Morgan are integrated on the backend but
       | not Private bank. So the transfer couldn't go through.All in all
       | this was 15-20 emails and multiple phone calls.
       | 
       | And then I was told to open a Chase individual investment account
       | instead.
       | 
       | Not wanting to continue to burn time during work hours when I was
       | super busy with a project, I drove 20 minutes to a Chase branch
       | to open an account with an investment banker to make sure all
       | went smoothly (instead of doing it online).
       | 
       | He couldn't open the account for me, couldn't get anyone on the
       | phone, either. Turns out that the backend is connected enough
       | with Private Bank that I had a profile in their system, but he
       | couldn't "do" anything with it.
       | 
       | A few more emails and phone calls and the Chase investment banker
       | sent me a link to open an account online. So I do that and let
       | the banker that controlled the original stock account know the
       | account details. But he still couldn't transfer the stock. That
       | private bank profile still causing problems I guess.
       | 
       | I was given an 800 number to call private bank to get them to
       | close the account. I spent about a half hour on hold before I
       | hung up. I then contacted the banker I knew at Private Bank and
       | informed him, he said he'd take care of it. Later that day he
       | emailed me and said he had put in the order and I would get a
       | confirmation.
       | 
       | I did get the confirmation but was informed it would take a few
       | days. Once that was done I contacted the broker that controlled
       | the stock account. He tried again, no dice.
       | 
       | He then decided to get licensed in my state so that he could
       | create the account for me. That took another week or so.
       | 
       | And, I was told to close the Chase account. I did that, again, a
       | couple days. By this time I'm 20-25 hours in with phone calls,
       | emails, conversations with my siblings, have driven into the city
       | twice, and so on.
       | 
       | Finally, after about an hour on the phone the next week, the
       | broker creates my account and is able to execute the transfer. Of
       | course, by this time the stock market had tanked and the stock
       | had lost ~20% of its value, meaning I netted less than my
       | siblings, and spent a ton of time.
       | 
       | What. A. Circus.
        
         | lisper wrote:
         | > I didn't want to cash the stock out immediately because I
         | couldn't get info on the basis and what the capital gains taxes
         | would be.
         | 
         | You'd need to figure that out eventually anyway. Better sooner
         | than later.
         | 
         | But in any case, you could have sold the stock, transferred the
         | money, and then re-purchased the stock and simply reported it
         | as a wash sale.
         | 
         | > by this time the stock market had tanked
         | 
         | That can go either way. I've had stocks that I wanted to sell
         | get held up, and go up in value in the meantime. So you have to
         | just chalk that up to fate.
        
           | apercu wrote:
           | >You'd need to figure that out eventually anyway. Better
           | sooner than later.
           | 
           | 100%
           | 
           | > That can go either way. I've had stocks that I wanted to
           | sell get held up, and go up in value in the meantime. So you
           | have to just chalk that up to fate.
           | 
           | My plan was to immediately sell 50% of the stock (it was at
           | an all-time high) immediately but now plans have changed. Oh
           | well.
        
         | drfuchs wrote:
         | Isn't your basis simply the price of the stock on the day your
         | rich uncle died? What other information did you need?
        
       | josefritzishere wrote:
       | Diversify your banking. Every individual and business shoudl ahve
       | at least two completely unrelated banks. I actualy reccomend one
       | be a credit union. Ift gives you a fall back position to protect
       | against this kind of situation.
        
       | mattmaroon wrote:
       | I feel like these sort of corner cases likely can happen with any
       | bank.
       | 
       | The real question is: why did it take months of having their
       | vital money withheld before trying to go around the bottom rung
       | support that was clearly not going to help? By like week 2 I'd be
       | talking to an attorney and I bet a letter from them would get it
       | cleared up fast. (Perhaps I'm wrong though.)
        
         | jxnlco wrote:
         | I was in Canada, and I was also quite stressed with some
         | keynote presentations I had to give, planning my move back to
         | the US, and applying for my O-1 visa.
         | 
         | I figured I'd sort it all out by the time I moved. However, I
         | may have been a little too relaxed about the situation and
         | stressed out about other stuff
        
           | mattmaroon wrote:
           | Well in any case, I'm sorry that happened to you. It sounds
           | awful.
        
       | akeck wrote:
       | Obligatory reference to patio11's write up on banks:
       | https://www.bitsaboutmoney.com/archive/seeing-like-a-bank/
        
       | kevdoran wrote:
       | > Mercury is a fintech company, not an FDIC-insured bank
       | 
       | Funny enough, I recently opened a Chase business checking because
       | of this "bank not bank" news:
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40480159
       | 
       | I still have a different business checking with a Mercury-like
       | fintech provider. Chase freezes accounts, Fintech startups go
       | under.
       | 
       | Chase already froze my business credit card once. I had to send
       | them a deed of a house that I had already sold. It made little
       | sense.
       | 
       | On the fintech bank side, my biggest client cannot make transfers
       | to that account. Their payment system throws an error when they
       | try to ACH to it. That plus the news about Synapse going under
       | made me want a chase.
       | 
       | So I don't really know what to do. I now have multiple business
       | accounts, multiple personal accounts. I want to find like a good
       | credit union maybe?
       | 
       | What's clear is being in small business requires building
       | tolerance for money uncertainty that wasn't as necessary when I
       | was an employee.
       | 
       | I feel for the author. That all sucks. I enjoyed the 'Yuppie
       | Nightmare' reference. Many thanks for sharing.
        
         | unyttigfjelltol wrote:
         | There is a middle ground called "community banking".
        
           | badlibrarian wrote:
           | Many community banks are little more than fronts for pcbb.com
           | or fisglobal.com at this point.
        
       | galaxyLogic wrote:
       | I got a letter from Citibank demanding I prove my business was
       | legit. I sent them a "secure message"(on their online site)
       | containing the documents. But(according to them) they could not
       | open those secure documents. They called me and asked for the
       | password for that secure message. That was of course a red flag
       | so I went to the local branch and asked them to send those
       | documents to whoever it was that was requesting them.
       | 
       | Going to the local branch stopped them from sending any more
       | demands for documents so it seems it really was Citibank who had
       | sent those demands to me. But for them to ask for my password in
       | a phone conversation is a huge Red Flag right? And they never
       | sent me a confirmation that issue was resolved.
       | 
       | I should have reported them for asking for my password, but did
       | not know where should I submit such a report.
       | 
       | Big banks are too big.
        
       | neilv wrote:
       | I feel bad for the people who went through this Kafkaesque
       | nightmare.
       | 
       | > _After months of back-and-forth, [...] I finally got my money._
       | 
       | I didn't find any mention of a lawyer in the article.
       | 
       | When you realize you're dealing with people who aren't operating
       | in good faith, seriously consider consulting a lawyer.
       | 
       | (A harder problem is realizing when people aren't operating in
       | good faith. Especially if you're a Pollyanna, or decent folk
       | dropped into the big city.)
       | 
       | > _consider using my referral link to open an account with
       | Mercury_
       | 
       | I'm not going to click a kickback link on a piece like this, and
       | I'm going to disregard the recommendation.
       | 
       | If the goal is to warn people away from something, or to make a
       | positive recommendation for something else, why _add_ an obvious
       | conflict of interest that didn 't have to be there?
        
         | stainablesteel wrote:
         | yeah this sounds like some kind of corporate fraud, i imagine
         | they were blocking people out and moving their money around to
         | cover their own books after something went wrong, there should
         | be a payout
        
         | serial_dev wrote:
         | It assumes you know which one was first, the chicken or the
         | egg.
         | 
         | One option is that the author found/got a referral deal with an
         | alternative provider, so thought they could write this article
         | complaining about a competitor.
         | 
         | Or... They were so pissed with Chase due to this nightmare they
         | had to go through, they looked for alternatives, found
         | something, so they mentioned it in the post.
         | 
         | Disregarding is fine as you don't know if they are honest, at
         | the same time I wouldn't attribute evil intentions either.
         | 
         | It's like when a native iOS developer says the best apps are
         | truly native. It could be that they tell you that so that you
         | hire them and their niche stays strong... or they really
         | believe it and that's why they are iOS developers.
        
       | shahzaibmushtaq wrote:
       | Everyone wants to open their first bank account in one of the big
       | banks, I was one of those. Later I found out that not-so-famous
       | big/small banks are far superior for SMBs.
       | 
       | Revolut, Mercury, Meow and Payoneer (Personally using myself) are
       | all leading online businesses.
        
       | tedmcory77 wrote:
       | The real question here for the author is: What are the _three_
       | banks that you now use? We use high availability and redundancy
       | for everything else, why not business?
        
       | galaxyLogic wrote:
       | Consider also that you probably could not sue your Bank if you
       | wanted to. All the small print you agreed to.
       | 
       | This was brought to my awareness due to the recent news about how
       | somebody could not sue Disney because they had opened a Disney+
       | streaming account.
       | 
       | We need financial reform customer protections. Let us hope the
       | party that fights for big businesses and billionaires does not
       | win in the next election.
        
       | pjdemers wrote:
       | I used to have a side gig as the CFO for a not-for-profit (an
       | unpaid volunteer). Anyway, this organization was over 125 years
       | old, associated with a larger organization 80 years older than
       | that, and had the same primary bank for 70 years ... Anyway, my
       | treasurer, who was very smart, insisted we keep enough cash to
       | run for 3 months in a secondary bank. Just in case we were locked
       | out of our primary bank.
        
         | jxnlco wrote:
         | this this this
        
         | Terr_ wrote:
         | Not quite the same scenario, but it makes me think of how a
         | startup I know dodged a bullet with the Silicon Valley Bank
         | collapse [0] partly due to having some other money elsewhere
         | Just In Case. (But in a major part due to bailouts, of course.)
         | 
         | [0]
         | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collapse_of_Silicon_Valley_Ban...
        
       | ikekkdcjkfke wrote:
       | Is it possible to use a european bank with eId totp physical chip
       | with fallback to passport scan?
        
       | msarrel wrote:
       | In 2008 Capital One did the same thing to me. It almost destroyed
       | not only my business but also the rest of my life. They were
       | completely unwilling to work with me and they said that they
       | suspected fraud. There was no fraud, I proved there was no fraud,
       | they still kept my account locked for over 30 days.
       | 
       | Yeah no one tells you when you start your business that your own
       | bank is preying on you.
        
       | rglover wrote:
       | This is why Bitcoin is ideal. You can hold and transfer any
       | amount, any time of day, without fear of surprises like this.
       | 
       | Would I use it as a primary cash account for my business today?
       | No, because of the obvious exchange rate/price swings. But long-
       | term, moving toward Bitcoin as a settlement layer (i.e., a modern
       | SWIFT) would solve a ton of problems and avoid situations like
       | this. The more people that do that/normalize it, the more stable
       | the price in other currencies, too.
       | 
       | I get that people like to hate on it because it's not a perfect
       | solution to everything, but in a hostile unpredictable
       | environment, it's a life saver.
        
         | bootlooped wrote:
         | I don't see why having a different settlement layer would
         | prevent the bank from freezing money that they have custody of.
        
           | rglover wrote:
           | It removes the bank from the equation. The point here being
           | that you keep some of your funds in Bitcoin so that, in the
           | event you have to deal with something like this, you can
           | still find a means to get people paid.
           | 
           | Long-term, if everyone does larger transactions in Bitcoin
           | (e.g., payroll, invoice payments, etc), then problems like
           | this never occur.
        
         | cultofmetatron wrote:
         | solana seems t be even better for that tech wise. but yea,
         | bitcoin is incumbant here
        
           | rglover wrote:
           | Solana is centralized. The network should never go
           | offline/have outages or be vulnerable to bad actors. At best,
           | Bitcoin has the 51% attack problem which would require insane
           | resources and convincing node operators to follow a fork of
           | the network.
        
         | nonameiguess wrote:
         | This doesn't make any sense. The problems a business faces are:
         | 
         | - Receive money from customers. If the customers don't have
         | Bitcoin, they're not going to pay you in Bitcoin.
         | 
         | - Pay your employees and suppliers. Very few of them will
         | accept Bitcoin.
         | 
         | - Borrow money to cover differences between revenue and
         | expenses. The entity loaning you the money may or may loan you
         | Bitcoin, but what difference does it make? They're going to
         | give you the same scrutiny and terms as any other lender in any
         | currency.
         | 
         | - Security for your enormous wads of liquid assets. Banks have
         | vaults and FDIC insurance. Bitcoin has nothing on its own, and
         | if you use an exchange, they can do exactly what a bank does
         | and freeze your funds, or in many cases, just steal it and
         | spend it themselves.
         | 
         | You say later you just mean "well, you can withdraw some of
         | your country's legal tender from the bank and store it as
         | Bitcoin in case you need it later." You can just diversify the
         | same way everyone else suggests by using multiple banks. If you
         | trust zero banks, you can withdraw cash and stuff it under your
         | mattress. You can loan it to a local drug lord. You can buy
         | gold. You can buy forex and put it in a foreign bank. I guess
         | some of these options are less liquid than others, but what
         | advantage are you really claiming keeping your rainy day fund
         | as Bitcoin has over anything else? Generally speaking,
         | businesses tend to stick with things like commercial paper and
         | treasuries and that has seemingly worked out fine.
         | 
         | I wish we had real verifiable base rates on the probability
         | that a business will go under because it's cash and near cash
         | equivalents line item was seized by authorities even though
         | they legitimately did nothing wrong versus a business will go
         | under because it decided to keep all of its funds in
         | cryptocurrency and it either tanked overnight, they lost the
         | key, SBF took their money because he felt like it, or whatever
         | other reasons might happen.
         | 
         | Would you seriously bet the former is more likely than the
         | latter?
        
           | rglover wrote:
           | I didn't say keep all of your cash in Bitcoin.
           | 
           | In the current epoch, I'd cite Murphy's Law and say that
           | anything is possible and it's wise for a CEO/CFO to plan
           | ahead in case this happens. Bitcoin is one among several
           | options and an excellent safeguard against corruption,
           | political persecution, etc.
           | 
           | As for exchange hacks and lost keys, the business that relies
           | on this will intelligently keep funds off-exchange/self-
           | custody and use multisig wallets with signatures held by
           | multiple officers of the company.
           | 
           | Today, it's the "nuclear option." But if enough people start
           | transacting in Bitcoin routinely, it's the ideal future.
        
           | commercialnix wrote:
           | > If the customers don't have Bitcoin, they're not going to
           | pay you in Bitcoin.
           | 
           | Every customer my firm has offered a 15% discount if paying
           | with BTC via Coinbase has taken it.
        
           | commercialnix wrote:
           | > because it decided to keep all of its funds in
           | cryptocurrency and it either tanked overnight, they lost the
           | key, SBF took their money because he felt like it
           | 
           | Tell us you don't comprehend cryptocurrency without telling
           | us you don't...
        
       | HeavenFox wrote:
       | I think this situation, while extremely unfortunate, is just the
       | natural consequences of how banks are regulated in the US. The
       | big banks face a constant threat by the government: if your
       | customer does something illegal with your product, YOU will be
       | fined millions of dollars. Therefore, if your activities have any
       | resemblance of money laundering, they'd rather lose your business
       | than lose millions. Different banks have different "sensitivity",
       | and Chase, unfortunately, is one of the more sensitive ones.
       | 
       | What are the solutions? Laws should be passed to protect
       | customers' rights in the event of an account closure; banks
       | should probably be provided some safe harbor so they aren't as
       | skittish; and in the meantime, bank with a smaller credit union
       | that have a smaller target on their back, and also if something
       | breaks you can yell at someone who can actually fix it.
        
       | LadyCailin wrote:
       | Complains about big banking. Hawks a referral code for a non-FDIC
       | insured "bank".
       | 
       | Some people never learn, I guess?
        
       | bdcravens wrote:
       | Chase stole about $900 from me from an account I setup just for
       | freelance income. This was during the pandemic when I had to take
       | a 2/3 haircut in my day job to keep the company afloat (we did,
       | and all is well now). Every time I'd try to reach out to try to
       | get answers, I'd get bounced around among different foreign call
       | centers. After months of trying to resolve it I just gave up. (I
       | could and should seek legal recourse, but I just didn't have the
       | emotional energy for it at the time)
       | 
       | I will never do business with them again, even though their many
       | branches (literally have one across the street from my office)
       | would make it convenient.
        
         | 0x5f3759df-i wrote:
         | Chase really has the worst phone customer service. I foolishly
         | used one of their 0% interest promos to buy some hardware and
         | when I was charged interest anyway due to their screwup in how
         | my payment was applied he told me:
         | 
         | > "since you have enough money in your account to pay this off
         | I don't know why you are using this plan at all. These are
         | intended for low income customers"
         | 
         | and did nothing to solve the problem.
        
       | screye wrote:
       | Knew this had to be Jason. Poor guy has been put through the
       | ringer. Running into a new update on twitter has me like, "How is
       | this still going on?".
        
       | cruppelt wrote:
       | fun following this debacle on twitter
        
       | PaulDavisThe1st wrote:
       | When I read these kinds of stories, and the comments on them, I
       | feel it would vastly more useful for people to document positive
       | interactions with financial services.
       | 
       | Am I shilling for banks? I hope not. It just seems that at this
       | point anyone who imagines the banks are going to work for you,
       | the customer, has not been paying attention and/or is delusional.
       | 
       | Finding out that SolarFlower Bank in Hometown, Your State has
       | provided exceptional banking services is massively more useful
       | than hearing, _once again_ that BigBankCorp are terrible.
        
       | eduction wrote:
       | Blog post dated a month from now? "2024/9/21". Not exactly
       | helping me believe your story.
        
         | eduction wrote:
         | Also why is there a post dated 2025?
         | https://jxnl.co/writing/2025/06/15/my-self-reflection-on-suc...
        
       | eduction wrote:
       | I feel bad for you and not a fan of Chase's behavior here but I
       | would never open a business banking account in a country
       | different from the one I'm living in unless I had an extremely
       | good reason (like a statutory requirement). Particularly if I
       | hadn't fully secured permission to be in that country.
       | 
       | Even then, if I was going to do it I would want to be sitting
       | physically across from a bank officer to make it happen, not
       | online. I opened business checking from BofA online years ago and
       | it was a total nightmare even living a short walk from the
       | branch, being a US citizen, etc. They did freeze it once or
       | twice. Never again.
        
       | 77pt77 wrote:
       | Always have your money split between multiple unrelated banks in
       | different jusrisdictions.
       | 
       | Always have multiple debit and credit cards between different
       | institutions.
       | 
       | If possible avoid the USA banking system, although thats easier
       | said than done if you live there.
       | 
       | These are good practices for both professional, company and
       | personal finances.
        
       | nottorp wrote:
       | Stupid question from outside the anglosphere: what's the
       | difference between a bank and a credit union?
        
         | bluGill wrote:
         | Credit unions are owned by the people with money in them. A
         | coop bank.
         | 
         | There are a few other legal differences as well, but the
         | ownership is the big difference.
        
         | Brian-Puccio wrote:
         | Credit unions are nonprofit, member/cooperatively owned
         | financial institutions.
         | 
         | Banks are for profit (and likely publicly traded).
        
         | cjs_ac wrote:
         | Credit unions are cooperatives owned by their customers.
        
         | jachee wrote:
         | A credit union is ultimately owned by its members, and
         | generally serves internal interests over pure profit. As a
         | result, they tend to usually be less cutthroat and have lower
         | fees, but also lower interest rates on the flip side.
        
         | readyplayernull wrote:
         | The main differences between banks and credit unions are that
         | banks are for-profit institutions owned by shareholders, while
         | credit unions are not-for-profit organizations owned by their
         | member account holders. Credit unions typically have lower
         | fees, higher interest rates on savings, and a focus on serving
         | their members' financial needs, rather than maximizing profits
         | like banks. Credit unions also have membership requirements,
         | while banks are open to the general public. Lastly, banks are
         | regulated by federal and state banking authorities, while
         | credit unions are regulated by the National Credit Union
         | Administration.
        
       | spiffytech wrote:
       | Maybe it was SARs?
       | 
       | > In the specific case of "Why did the bank close my account,
       | seemingly for no reason? Why will no one tell me anything about
       | this? Why will no one take responsibility?", the answer is
       | frequently that the bank is following the law. As we've discussed
       | previously, banks will frequently make the "independent"
       | "commercial decision" to "exit the relationship" with a
       | particular customer after that customer has had multiple
       | Suspicious Activity Reports filed. SARs can (and sometimes must!)
       | be filed for innocuous reasons and do not necessarily imply any
       | sort of wrongdoing.
       | 
       | > SARs are secret, by regulation. See 12 CFR SS 21.11(k)(1) from
       | the Office of Comptroller of the Currency:
       | 
       | > No national bank, and no director, officer, employee, or agent
       | of a national bank, shall disclose a SAR or any information that
       | would reveal the existence of a SAR. Any national bank, and any
       | director, officer, employee, or agent of any national bank that
       | is subpoenaed or otherwise requested to disclose a SAR, or any
       | information that would reveal the existence of a SAR, shall
       | decline to produce the SAR or such information, citing this
       | section and 31 U.S.C. 5318(g)(2)(A)(i)...
       | 
       | https://www.bitsaboutmoney.com/archive/seeing-like-a-bank/
        
       | Algemarin wrote:
       | Reading anecdotes like this is just so terrifying, and there
       | appears to be absolutely no recourse.
       | 
       | These stories can, and do, happen to anyone at any bank. And what
       | can we do about it? It seems like the answer is a glib 'nothing'.
        
         | mistercheph wrote:
         | These days, its best to always travel with a retained team of
         | attorneys, ready to intimidate and threaten litigation against
         | anyone that tries to treat you like a kafka protagonist.
        
       | imroot wrote:
       | I had a similar experience with US Bank. Business account, over
       | $50k lost; they said that they can 'terminate their relationship
       | with me at any time for any or no reason whatsoever,' and didn't
       | have to return the money.
       | 
       | The Fraud and Trust VP seemed shocked when I mentioned to her
       | that it wasn't a big deal for me, and that I had my personal
       | accounts with a credit union.
       | 
       | It's been 4+ years. I've written the money off.
        
         | ksenzee wrote:
         | For $50k I would at least have a lawyer write them a nastygram.
         | Wow.
        
       | rvba wrote:
       | I went with someone from my family to close a bank account. The
       | bank teller received an error message that said something like
       | "please visit the bank personally". It was a message on her
       | computer.
       | 
       | Is that on the shitty bank rules, or shitty software? After 2
       | hours and the bank stuff calling some helpdesk they managed to do
       | it.
        
       | commercialnix wrote:
       | By day 2 I'd have filed a lawsuit seeking over $5-million in
       | combined actual and punitive damages. You have to speak the
       | language they understand, anything else is a waste of time.
        
       | RecycledEle wrote:
       | Let me explain this to those who are not familiar with the
       | American system of kleptocracy: Banks freeze account to steal the
       | money, not because they suspect wrongdoing. The protagonist in
       | the article finally showed Chase it would be more expensive to
       | keep the money than to give it back, so they gave it back.
        
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