[HN Gopher] Do quests, not goals
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       Do quests, not goals
        
       Author : zdw
       Score  : 162 points
       Date   : 2024-08-08 18:02 UTC (4 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.raptitude.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.raptitude.com)
        
       | Multicomp wrote:
       | I can't engage with this now. I'm a big GTD user because of my
       | ADHD, I don't trust myself so I use the GTD system as a big
       | crutch.
       | 
       | I pattern match "Quests" in TFA to "projects" in GTD, and "goals"
       | in TFA to "3-5 horizon + someday/maybe list", I don't have time
       | to give nuanced thought to this, but I'm posting my hot take that
       | this looks like a useful tactical method to help oneself take
       | projects off of your someday/maybe lists and work on them, but
       | does not fully address how to make the time.
       | 
       | Wait, no, it probably does, but I'm already running over my break
       | time so I'm leaving this comment here as an anchor to come back
       | and review after work.
        
         | digdugdirk wrote:
         | I feel this comment in my soul. If you have any recommendations
         | for resources on general project/life management, please feel
         | free to share.
        
           | Multicomp wrote:
           | In my quest (ahaha) to not spend my days doing life
           | management system bingo, I've settled on GTD tried mostly
           | flat out the past few years.
           | 
           | However, I have recently looked into Zen To Done, and while I
           | see it as Insufficient because I've already put in the GTD
           | work, I think it could be a lower-effort potentially-close-
           | enough alternative method to getting to the GTD Mind Like
           | Water state.
        
         | graypegg wrote:
         | Same here! Most of my life is in Omnifocus specifically (GTD-
         | focused todo app), and I structure the projects like the quests
         | this author mentions. I have to make them gut-feeling boolean
         | checks if that makes sense. "Declutter the house" is perfect,
         | because I know when it's decluttered: when I feel like it is.
         | If I get too specific, there's pretty much 0% chance I'm going
         | to honestly complete it with any sort of accuracy to that goal.
         | 
         | Also, hope you had a good day at work!
        
         | borsch wrote:
         | I thought I had ADHD but then I got tested and I have high
         | functioning autism
        
           | hitsurume wrote:
           | What kind of tools / treatments have you used / learned
           | afterwards to deal with your ADHD like symtoms?
        
             | borsch wrote:
             | I'm actually super organized and can hyperfocus.
             | 
             | I have emotional regulation issues. Abilify (medication),
             | yoga, and running. Those keep me centered, reduce my
             | (embarrassing) adult tantrums.
             | 
             | Social skills are the hardest part for me. I can read
             | emotions but trying to understand people's motivations is
             | as complex as tracking bugs for me. It just doesn't come
             | naturally.
             | 
             | tl;dr exercise tho
        
         | rocqua wrote:
         | I think you're looking to much at the practice, and too little
         | at the framing.
         | 
         | The point is not that the structure of a quest works better.
         | The point is that the framing of a quest works better. It
         | inspires, it acknowledges there will be adversity, and thus
         | makes adversity feel like much less of a setback.
        
       | chankstein38 wrote:
       | The timing of this is neat! We are going on a trip in a week~ and
       | need to get a bunch of packing done and stuff around the house
       | prepped etc. 2 days ago I was picking up a ring for my girlfriend
       | and got a "fix it ticket" for something with my car. I have been
       | really stressed because it adds a new thing with a timeline.
       | 
       | The one day I was stressing about it and called it a side quest
       | to myself and immediately the stress dipped. It'll get done and
       | it'll be fine. It needed done anyway and ultimately now I've been
       | given a side quest by a randomly encounter. It's not exciting but
       | reframing it like this helps reduce my stress and allow me to
       | think about the other stuff while still making sure this gets
       | done. So good timing on this post!
        
         | lainga wrote:
         | Do you think it's a matter of the task being framed as within
         | vs. without your agency?
        
           | chankstein38 wrote:
           | I think that makes sense! Basically something that is forced
           | on me vs something I have chosen to participate in. It could
           | be argued whether it fits the latter but reframing can be
           | pretty powerful! I think partially it's that I know that it's
           | a temporary distraction and that's something I'm used to in
           | quest-based games but ultimately I still manage to get the
           | temporary small distractions done (and typically have more
           | fun with those) while still making progress towards the
           | larger quest/goal in this case.
        
         | readthenotes1 wrote:
         | I had a job once working with bad people and I morphed my day
         | into the dndonline I was using to decompress with at night.
         | 
         | Doing the feature work and adding bugs was like breaking
         | barrels to find loot. Convincing a co-worker to stop creating
         | more bugs was like taking down a minion. Working the politics
         | to get rid of the most dangerous coworker was like killing the
         | boss (he was a contractor and it seemed that everything he did
         | was to damage our team's work)
        
           | chankstein38 wrote:
           | I love that! (except the dangerous coworker haha) This trip
           | we're going on is much needed and I'm feeling kind of burnt
           | out I'm going to try this over the next week and see if it
           | helps me maintain focus in the face of my upcoming PTO!
        
           | layer8 wrote:
           | Suddenly I understand why D&D never quite grew on me. ;)
        
       | abalaji wrote:
       | Sounds similar to the theme system that CGP Grey and Mike
       | advocate for in the Cortex podcast.
       | 
       | https://www.themesystem.com/
        
         | rocqua wrote:
         | I thought the same based on the title, but the article feels
         | different. The theme system is about making a commitment, and
         | making failure harder to prevent demoralization, and promote
         | adaptibility. Quests, as presented here, still have a
         | measurable goal, they are specific. That should never be the
         | case with a yearly theme.
        
       | RankingMember wrote:
       | Isn't this just GTD (Getting Things Done) with different
       | terminology or is my ADHD brain skipping over a more significant
       | difference?
        
         | adamc wrote:
         | Maybe that depends on your mental definition of quest. I don't
         | think of quests as "getting things done" -- they are both more
         | significant and less certain than that. Quests are adventures
         | where you hope for significant outcomes, but where there are
         | many uncertainties. It's OK, perhaps even expected, for a quest
         | to have unexpected outcomes. A quest implies less certainty
         | about the outcome and more of an expectation about personal
         | growth.
         | 
         | A lot of GTD is just drudgery to accomplish. Quests are never
         | drudgery. Difficult, maybe, but the journey is probably a
         | bigger part of the quest than the outcome.
        
         | 1659447091 wrote:
         | Also ADHD (medicated) and I would say terminology matters a
         | lot. GTD is it's own distraction loop (for me). I enjoy
         | identifying and grouping problem spaces and creating TODO
         | actions to solve them. Thus get stuck on steps 1-3(4) and never
         | get to the doing because I am doing!
         | 
         | I'm doing the GTD and getting 3-4 of the 5 steps done! Good job
         | me. Except it's not, it was just another distraction. When I
         | view what needs to be done in terms of "action that does the
         | thing", or going on quest* as described here, I am much more
         | successful. Meds makes the doing of something productive
         | possible, but that something can be anything productive.
         | 
         | Knowing I am GTD by working on the first few steps is getting
         | something done. But not really. When I narrow down what I need
         | to do into a single main "quest" and/or coming upon a side-
         | quest and seeing it as that so I can get back to the main
         | thread, I'm taking real action towards it. That doing of
         | something is the actual doing of the thing. Taking the journey
         | of the quest minus all this busy work of defining what I want
         | to get done or what my quest/journey should be, and doing it
         | instead.
         | 
         | * I don't actually tell myself I'm on a quest like this article
         | seems to suggest, but "quest" is a very good descriptor of my
         | process (and may start using it because I personally find it
         | fun, and my ADHD like fun)
        
           | JL-Akrasia wrote:
           | Also ADHD brain. I'd add that having another person (although
           | not always possible) is a great ingredient for a successful
           | system to mitigate some of the failure modes of ADHD.
           | 
           | In the cases where I dont have someone helping me, I have
           | used chatGPT to build a 2D embodied digital sidekick that
           | cares about my goals as much as i can. My Tori provides me
           | emotional support, helps me plan, schedule and prioritize
           | tasks as well as providing a smart focus session mode with
           | phone and web blocklists.
           | 
           | I built it to suit my needs it has allowed me to build a
           | successful startup. Its 100% free and if you want you can try
           | it at tori.gg
        
       | dominicq wrote:
       | I am generally skeptical of systems that apparently mostly rely
       | on the methodology of "call this thing another name and you'll
       | change your approach to it". This thing works because there's a
       | community / group session around it, but it would probably still
       | work even if you just called goals - goals.
        
         | saulpw wrote:
         | Names matter. Subtle differences in perception change your
         | stance in approaching and interpreting the thing. Like "violin"
         | vs "fiddle", or "assertive" vs "aggressive".
        
         | nuancebydefault wrote:
         | I have a different take. A pet peeve of mine is give things a
         | good name and define what you mean by it. A good name is as
         | much as possible self-explaining. Quest rhymes well with
         | adventure, detours, heroism,... the word itself tends to create
         | the mindset that the author wants you to have.
        
           | iwontberude wrote:
           | Quest rhymes with mindless grinding in my mind, go there
           | fetch this, kill that, get the gold or the item, rinse
           | repeat. It's the opposite of fresh and process focused in my
           | mind. Better yet is define our work as trips (like
           | psychedelic) where the outcome is unknown until the end and
           | the expectations are malleable. Goals and quests are both
           | corporate nerd speak and make me sick.
        
         | npunt wrote:
         | A different name offers a different perspective, because of all
         | the associations with the name. Problems that are hard to solve
         | are often hard because we're stuck on a particular perspective
         | as to how to solve them. Reframing with new associations is a
         | way to gain a new perspective, to look at the problem
         | differently, to gain insight that you previously did not have.
         | This is an extremely common and effective problem solving
         | technique.
        
         | dionian wrote:
         | I think it's subtly insightful because a goal focuses us on the
         | endpoint and a quest focuses us on the journey that we need to
         | undertake to get there. But to each his or her own!
        
         | n_plus_1_acc wrote:
         | See also: nonviolent communication
        
         | dclowd9901 wrote:
         | I don't think it's any secret that learning a new language has
         | the effect of remapping the neurons of your brain, and we
         | already know that we associate a lot with words, not just their
         | meanings but what they mean to us.
         | 
         | I don't think there's been sufficient research in this area
         | really but I also don't think that's enough in itself to
         | downplay it as woo.
         | 
         | If the word "quest" doesn't conjure images in your mind of a
         | long winding journey with pitfalls and successes that
         | eventually lands you in a place where you've achieved a goal
         | and also changed as a person, maybe just use the word in your
         | vocabulary that _does_ conjure those images and see if you feel
         | the same way.
        
         | ThrowawayTestr wrote:
         | It's about changing your mindset and how you approach your
         | goal/quest
        
         | m3kw9 wrote:
         | Is a type of gamification which could work for some like this
         | fella
        
         | ravroid wrote:
         | Using different names and analogies for a system or strategy
         | helps you change your mental model of it. Framing problems
         | through different mental models can reveal insights and
         | perspectives you wouldn't have had otherwise.
        
         | soulofmischief wrote:
         | This view ignores the importance of, and empirical data around,
         | psychosemantics.
         | 
         | Additionally as others touched on, a precise vocabulary or
         | nomenclature allows us to be precise about our intentions and
         | gives us a framework for making decisions.
         | 
         | "Quest" orients you around the journey instead of the
         | destination, which can have many benefits.
         | 
         | It helps to not consider this, or any other technique, as one-
         | size-fits-all doctrine. I personally have always considered
         | myself very goal-oriented, but this article allowed me to
         | understand things from a different angle and realize that I'm
         | actually much more process-oriented. This will help me make
         | future decisions around projects when planning them out and
         | accounting for the need for sustained motivation.
        
         | drewcoo wrote:
         | Don't be skeptical. Be inquisitive.
         | 
         | And make that change because I, a stranger on the Internet told
         | you to. Also pay for my woo training!
         | 
         | /s
        
       | apitman wrote:
       | > Still, the tendency is to wait for a better, less cluttered
       | stretch of time to appear before you do that. You will execute
       | your great plans as soon as life becomes a little easier and more
       | spacious than it is now.
       | 
       | > This is exactly backwards. Forming and achieving aspirations is
       | how life gets easier and more spacious.
        
         | feoren wrote:
         | Whoever thinks this is good advice has an extremely easy life.
         | Most people have literally no slack time at all. You're
         | supposed to execute your great plans in the 1 hour per day you
         | have after work, commute, taking care of family, and
         | occasionally taking care of yourself? The hour in which you are
         | deeply exhausted? If that doesn't sound like you,
         | congratulations: you have an easy life.
         | 
         | So the real advice is the same as all life advice under the
         | hood: just be born into privilege.
        
           | shepherdjerred wrote:
           | Do you really think there's no upward mobility for someone
           | not born into privilege?
        
       | ksd482 wrote:
       | as I was reading the article I was thinking "Oh, you mean
       | labeling your goals differently will cause you to think about
       | them differently and hence, will cause you to plan differently".
       | That is, there would be something _tangible_ that would be
       | different.
       | 
       | So I tuned in to learn more about the technique but I was
       | disappointed to learn that there's nothing more to it at least in
       | the article.
       | 
       | It just suggests to re-label your goals differently and think of
       | them as "quests", but it doesn't mention anything more.
       | 
       | I really want to learn how to make my chores and boring goals fun
       | so that I can go about them doing them. Can anyone please shed
       | some light on this?
       | 
       | I have tried to gamify my work but it hasn't worked for me.
        
         | moneil971 wrote:
         | I'm not sure the article fully gets there (he's clearly driving
         | business for his own course), but the general idea is that you
         | don't set a "goal" of a thing you hope to accomplish - you
         | should be fully envisioning who that future you will be - and
         | what they do every day...then start doing that. So the quest is
         | about who you want to become, while the goal is just an
         | aspiration without a real vision.
        
         | RHSman2 wrote:
         | It has to be authentic in my experience. The naming doesn't
         | matter. It's the emotional response it creates.
         | 
         | Procrastination = lazy Or Procrastination = in preparation
        
       | jessetemp wrote:
       | I think what's going on behind the verbal sleight of hand here,
       | is focusing on the process (quest) instead of the outcome (goal).
       | It's the difference between doing a thing and having done a
       | thing. I might enjoy having written a book, but I don't think I
       | would enjoy writing a book. And I don't think calling it a quest
       | instead of a goal would make much difference
        
         | fizlebit wrote:
         | It is a fail/succeed mindset rather than a play mindset I
         | imagine. I definitely feel a difference between a chore and a
         | game. That said not all chores are easily turned into games.
         | But seeking games over chores probably leads to a happier time.
        
         | dclowd9901 wrote:
         | I think about this a lot. I think my dad was more goal oriented
         | and I'm more process oriented. I see every day spent working
         | toward a goal as a valuable step toward it, while I think he
         | tried to always shorten the path to reach his goals, and ended
         | up not ever achieving them because of it.
         | 
         | As an example, I do car restoration as a hobby. It's a big, big
         | task to basically dismantle a car, fix body issues, rebuild the
         | engine and transmission, clean up all the parts, and put it
         | back together. Looking at the entire task outside of it, seems
         | almost impossible to do, but I almost never think about the end
         | of the work. I just think about the next thing I need to do.
         | 
         | I think marathon runners do something similar, or so I've heard
         | anecdotally.
        
           | mcdow wrote:
           | Marathon runner here. Spot on. A marathon is near impossible
           | if you don't like running. Inevitable if you like running.
           | 
           | Marathon training is actually the framework around which I do
           | all "quests" now. If you enjoy the process, anything is
           | possible. The key is finding a way to enjoy the process.
           | 
           | I've extended it to several areas I didn't find very fun
           | prior. Language learning and job hunting in particular.
           | 
           | I actually wrote my first blog post on this very subject[1].
           | Warning, it's quite verbose and not the best. There's a
           | TL;DR.
           | 
           | [1] https://emmettmcdow.github.io/posts/how-to-learn-a-
           | foreign-l...
        
             | sebg wrote:
             | Love this line from your post "The marathon is simply an
             | exhibition of the labor it took to achieve it, it is not
             | the goal in and of itself."
        
             | samstave wrote:
             | This is the joy of my martial arts path as well.
             | 
             | In my experience, (This is a Mechanical Elves take on it (I
             | studied Bujinkan Budo Taijutsu, Danzan Ryu, Small Circle,
             | and my Professor Larry Cary said to me one session:
             | 
             | " _The movements I am teaching you awaken dormant brain
             | circuitry. When you do these movements, all the old Masters
             | are with you_ "
             | 
             | That was the moment it really clicked for me.
             | 
             | Later, Soke Hatsumi was quoted in the infamous "Understand?
             | Good. Play!" book -- my favorite quote:
             | 
             | " _I am teaching you to wield a sword, even if you have no
             | arms!_ "
             | 
             | --
             | 
             | The reason is that these two statements allowed me to see
             | what the true nature of my Joy of Movement truely was: I
             | was able to see the Principles of Movement flow through me
             | - (we call this The Mode) - and it was that feeling that
             | was being fully present is what I sought and I feel thats
             | the nature of Mastery of _any_ craft.
        
         | m3kw9 wrote:
         | While you are right, a different way to look at a same thing
         | can produce breakthroughs, like exercise, you just exercise
         | right? But if you gamify it, it can make it easier to endure
         | and repeat
        
         | 42lux wrote:
         | That's the problem we have in most companies now: everyone
         | loves the outcome, but not many love the work.
        
         | mkoubaa wrote:
         | If you won't enjoy writing a book you won't write a book
        
       | B-Con wrote:
       | This reminds me of the "systems vs goals" mentality, which
       | emphasizes focusing on having a good systematic process for the
       | journey rather than fixating on specific outcomes.
       | 
       | Some prior discussion:
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28688643
       | 
       | Scott Adams (before he went a bit cuckoo) was a huge proponent of
       | it and he exposed me to the concept in my mid 20s. It heavily
       | resonated with me and fundamentally changed my outlook on several
       | areas of life.
       | 
       | This specific framing of Quests vs Goals seems a bit more like a
       | change in framing your perspective, but I see some similar
       | concepts, eg:
       | 
       | > You don't just get the novel started, you become a writer. You
       | don't just declutter the house, you get your house in order.
        
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