[HN Gopher] How not to say the wrong thing (2013)
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How not to say the wrong thing (2013)
Author : dredmorbius
Score : 18 points
Date : 2024-08-06 18:54 UTC (4 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (www.latimes.com)
(TXT) w3m dump (www.latimes.com)
| dredmorbius wrote:
| This essay introduces the "ring theory" of trauma. The ring is
| centred on the patient, with immediate caregivers, family,
| friends, and others, ultimately strangers on the Internet and
| Space Alien Cats, in the outermost rings.
|
| Dumping flows out, comfort flows in.
|
| It's the most succinct guideline for how to act around someone
| with a chronic or terminal condition I've found, and corresponds
| well to my own experience in multiple instances over the decades.
| dang wrote:
| Related:
|
| _How not to say the wrong thing (2013)_ -
| https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32588709 - Aug 2022 (1
| comment)
|
| _How not to say the wrong thing (2013)_ -
| https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18156384 - Oct 2018 (47
| comments)
| n4r9 wrote:
| Surely it is good practise to always try to offer comfort and
| support, and to listen, no matter who you are talking to or
| whether they are in a more inner ring than you? Obviously we
| don't always have the mental space to do so, but it doesn't quite
| sit right with me to say "these people are allowed to moan as
| much as they want". It feels like an arbitrary social more.
| cat_plus_plus wrote:
| This works well when you can take time away from the crisis. If
| you have a family member who is having crisis for many years, you
| will eventually have to talk to them about your own experiences
| or lose close connection that you used to have.
| dredmorbius wrote:
| [delayed]
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