[HN Gopher] Ask HN: Those of you who've left the SWE world, what...
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       Ask HN: Those of you who've left the SWE world, what did you
       transition into?
        
       After 13 years in SWE, working for startups, bigger companies, the
       golden handcuffs, etc, I can finally say that I think I'm finished.
       Right now I'm contracting to stay afloat, maintain flexibility and
       delve into entrepreneurship, but I truly don't know what the future
       holds for me anymore if building my own company doesn't work out. I
       have 0 inclination to go back to a 9-5 at a company coding for a
       living. I'm done. I've been an EM, which might arguably be the most
       miserable position that exists. I've been senior/staff at places,
       and honestly I just don't enjoy arguing about the structure of
       software anymore, I'm tired of the personalities, tired of the
       infantilization of the industry (frankly, it's embarrassing) but
       mostly, I just don't enjoy coding as much as I used to, unless I'm
       leveraging it to create an asymmetrical amount of value for me
       ($$$$) which is just not what a full time job is.  However, I don't
       know what to look into as an alternative if I need a full time
       position once my wife and I start having kids. My strengths revolve
       around people and strategy. I've been considering sales at a tech
       company because to me, working harder and having an unlimited cap
       in what I can earn sounds pretty fantastic.  Would love to hear any
       kinds of stories or tips from folks
        
       Author : volkk
       Score  : 131 points
       Date   : 2024-06-24 21:20 UTC (1 hours ago)
        
       | okasaki wrote:
       | Why do you need to argue (whatever that means to you)? Just take
       | a ticket, do the work, and check out mentally at the end of the
       | day.
        
         | refulgentis wrote:
         | EM = engineering manager.
         | 
         | Re: arguing and why not just avoid it:
         | 
         | During my brief (7 year) sojourn at one place that was not-my-
         | company (Google), you end up with a mix of personalities, and
         | it's _very_ hard to convince people who believe there 's a
         | Right Way to do things that there is no Right Way, so you just
         | sort of have to muddle through figuring out how to be
         | productive without irritating people, or as an EM, leaving them
         | thinking you're negligent.
         | 
         | Conversely, theoretically, it's hard to convince people who are
         | slopping through and rushing code to slow down. (in _practice_
         | , this wasn't a problem at Google, but it's worth mentioning
         | for completeness.)
         | 
         | Case study: 6 person team. 1 EM who ended up doing 20% of the
         | code, 1 me who did 60%, 2 who did 10% each, only do things when
         | directly asked, and they couldn't find an excuse to kick the
         | can down the road due to "ambiguity" that was product/design's
         | fault, and then two who, in all seriousness, never contributed
         | code to this year-long project: 1 who wanted OOP-to-the-max
         | InjectedFoobarManagerFactory, another who definitely didn't
         | want anything like that, but didn't really have an alternate
         | proposal, they just loved explaining endlessly and
         | authoritatively why anything else brought up was bad.
         | 
         | (what did they do if they weren't contributing? the first would
         | write vaguely productive "experiments" for other teams, that
         | obviously wouldn't ship, in the code repo they were used to.
         | took them 18-24 months to make their first code contribution to
         | our actual code repo, the other wandered off to some other
         | random project in the org. EM was new and out 3/4 of the
         | project for new child leave)
        
           | Ethee wrote:
           | To add to this, it feels to me like SWEs have the biggest
           | egos as well without a related checking mechanism. In other
           | engineering disciplines getting something wrong very often
           | comes back to you as the engineer, in SWE it feels like there
           | are so many abstractions people like to point fingers at
           | instead. "It's not my code that's the issue, its X
           | implementation's fault" the amount of times I've heard
           | something similar to this is too often.
        
             | refulgentis wrote:
             | 100%. I don't know what to call it other than coddling, but
             | there was very, very, very, little true responsibility.
             | Safety in the herd: don't let the people who got the stuff
             | done get too up in their heads about it, via their design
             | had issues at the end of the day, and conversely, if I did
             | deliver something of low quality, it was someone else's
             | design that was the problem.
             | 
             | All the firing BS in from mid-2022 in this industry was
             | poorly motivated, and a lot of the initial wave was used
             | for settling political scores, and there's a lot still
             | there. But I hope in the long run it engenders a stronger
             | sense of needing to have some sort of shared reality and
             | responsibility.
        
             | quicklime wrote:
             | You might be right that SWEs have the biggest egos compared
             | to other engineering disciplines. When I've worked with
             | mechanical and electrical engineers, that was the case.
             | 
             | But where I work now, the biggest egos are easily the
             | people _around_ the SWEs - especially architects and
             | product owners. Is that not the case where you work?
        
           | withinboredom wrote:
           | > it's very hard to convince people who believe there's a
           | Right Way to do things that there is no Right Way
           | 
           | I worked with a guy who claimed they'd worked at Google
           | (probably not you, fwiw). They were SO SURE there WAS ONE
           | TRUE WAY, and I'm 90% sure the actual definition was
           | "whatever way this guy [me] wants to do it is not the TRUE
           | WAY."
           | 
           | I almost quit dealing with that guy, but I ended up wandering
           | to some other random project in the org.
           | 
           | Dude was whack though. I'll never forget when we hired a guy
           | and he was saying "if the hiring team thinks he's good
           | enough, he's clearly not because they hired this guy
           | [pointing at me]." Fuck that guy.
           | 
           | I might not be the best coder in any room, but I'm a pretty
           | solid engineer.
        
         | hkt wrote:
         | This is a dramatically unpleasant way to live, though. Op is
         | asking out of a desire to have a fulfilling life and clearly
         | isn't finding fulfilment in SWE.
        
           | palata wrote:
           | The keywords were: "check out mentally at the end of the
           | day".
           | 
           | You can have a fulfilling life out of work. It doesn't mean
           | that you have to be miserable at work, but it's also
           | important to realize that "being productive" is not the only
           | way to live.
           | 
           | Those who make a fortune with software generally don't work
           | on improving society; on the contrary they generally are
           | bigger contributors to the problem. Whether they realize it
           | and accept it in exchange for the cash or actually think they
           | deserve that kind of money is a different question.
        
         | obvustroweh wrote:
         | I'm not OP and I ask myself that question daily?
         | 
         | I have a job that is financially viable at a small, good,
         | profitable firm... that has less stellar engineering management
         | (not bad people wise)... and I care deeply about my craft. I'm
         | a child hood coder with also a deep "Protestant Work Ethic."
         | 
         | I have semi-checked out at work, it's mentally taxing to know
         | the systems could be better. I also know after 5 years my hard
         | work and going the extra mile" will not be rewarded so I coast
         | with my above-average reviews... but I feel guilt and mental
         | anguish and stress and worry I'll be found for a fraud (not
         | imposter syndrome way, in a "I could do better and will be
         | punished for not" way)
         | 
         | For some of us it's a passion not a paycheck. Although the pay
         | is nice.
        
         | rqtwteye wrote:
         | That's a very unsatisfying way to work. I like software design
         | and architecture and even arguing about it as long as people do
         | it in good faith. That's what makes the job interesting to me.
         | I think I would get depressed if I just checked off tickets
         | every day.
        
         | armada651 wrote:
         | Some people have this unfortunate affliction where they went
         | into SWE with a passion for programming and want something more
         | fulfilling out of a job than resolving a few tickets and then
         | checking out mentally.
         | 
         | Hopefully they'll be cured of that one day, perhaps the next
         | performance review cycle will finally rid them of any remaining
         | illusions.
        
         | tunesmith wrote:
         | These employees, or at least one style of these employees, are
         | super-frustrating to work with as well.
         | 
         | Like, I have no problem with someone who is in the ticket flow,
         | is conscientious about their work, tries to understand the
         | business purpose, anticipates and asks some unanswered
         | questions, and takes care to truly finish the work. Then, you
         | know, sure, work your eight (or six), take your breaks, and
         | leave it out of your brain all other times.
         | 
         | But the other style is all-too-common: Do only what's listed in
         | the ticket, and the laziest possible interpretation at that. If
         | something is undefined, well, that's their problem, if they
         | realize it, they can schedule another ticket. Don't ask
         | questions, don't collaborate, don't do anything extra and then
         | if pressed, say phrases like, "Well they didn't say.." or
         | "well, they didn't ask..." Take no ownership.
         | 
         | Those people suck.
        
           | bongodongobob wrote:
           | I completely disagree. The more you hand hold the users, the
           | less they'll try. You have to half-ass and close some tickets
           | and make them reopen. If they don't get any pushback or
           | frustration from not following protocol, they'll continue to
           | do it. Any decent manager should understand and have your
           | back on those kind of requests.
        
         | meristohm wrote:
         | Fair question. Not OP, but I'll add that I prefer to do work
         | that matches what I value, not just go get a paycheck and make
         | other people richer. Taken to an extreme, I'm happiest when I
         | forage for food to augment what we buy on my spouse's salary
         | and my part-time local utility work. I'm privileged to live on
         | land that supports this practice, and to not do work that I
         | don't agree with. We don't have much of a savings, but we're
         | rich in other ways, notably community, clean water, ~clean air
         | when the wind isn't blowing in from the highway and the
         | neighbors aren't running their various engines, and a sense of
         | purpose. I considered being a software engineer but after
         | reading HN for years I burned out on that dream and instead
         | focus on land & water stewardship, activism towards the same,
         | and building walking-distance community.
        
         | treesknees wrote:
         | You're being downvoted but I mean this does work for some
         | people. I definitely have coworkers who treat their work as
         | purely transactional. Their goal isn't to be promoted or get
         | frustrated at their job, it's to receive a paycheck and health
         | insurance and get home to their families or hobbies. That's
         | certainly a valid approach in any job scenario (not just SWE.)
         | 
         | I'm not quite at the level you've described, but I certainly
         | have elements of it. I've been in the same role for ~10 years
         | and have pretty much maxed out the expected raises/promotions
         | of the role. It's not as satisfying as something brand new, but
         | my pay to effort ratio is pretty ideal and I can work on side
         | projects and learn new things on my own.
        
         | einpoklum wrote:
         | Because "they" are writing the code all wrong and crooked!
        
         | cbanek wrote:
         | I think it's a lot more usual to have your ticket and then your
         | whole damn team decides to argue for hours on how you should do
         | it, just because your manager lets it happen. This happened
         | with my last job and it really pushed me out. The reason why
         | people argue so much is that the stakes have never been lower -
         | they don't do the work, or the thinking, or the fixing. It's
         | just really easy to "have input" and then the environment makes
         | you follow that "input" because "we're a team".
        
       | dangrossman wrote:
       | I bought some production equipment (laser cutters, printers, heat
       | presses, etc) and manufacture physical goods out of my home.
       | Feels closer to coding when I first fell in love with it --
       | making the whole product from start to finish, selling directly
       | to the customer, retaining all the fruits of my labor, etc.
        
         | kemitche wrote:
         | What sorts of things do you make? How long did it take you to
         | learn and get proficient?
        
         | hawski wrote:
         | Could you expand? That's close to what I've been thinking about
         | in terms of my future.
         | 
         | One thing that I worry about is that there seem to be quite a
         | lot of competition in the space and to give clients I feel I
         | would have to go through an Uber of laser cutters. At least
         | that was an impression I've got after ordering a few parts
         | through something like that.
         | 
         | How did you start our transition to it? What is your specialty?
         | Etc.
        
         | switchbak wrote:
         | How do you like it? I find myself gravitating to this as well.
         | The little projects I've made have been outrageously
         | fulfilling, like the first days when I was writing code.
         | 
         | I think if you found a niche (like Shop Nation did on
         | YouTube/Etsy) you could do quite well?
         | 
         | Do you find the lack of a boss and the BS of a typical corp job
         | freeing?
        
         | abdullahkhalids wrote:
         | I see multiple comments asking the same thing. Some time ago, I
         | Asked HN the same thing: What can you realistically manufacture
         | in your garage? [1]. Many great answers.
         | 
         | My dream is alive, but no progress yet.
         | 
         | [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32141962
        
         | codazoda wrote:
         | I'm not sure how to figure out if there's a profitable market I
         | can tap with the thing I want to make.
         | 
         | As an example, I created a modified level so that my wife could
         | set tumblers up for full wrap laser engraving. I've been trying
         | to figure out how to sell the tool but maybe there is not much
         | of a market to sell to.
         | 
         | I've tried my own website, a free DIY version as an email
         | collection tool, becoming active on laser forums, the finished
         | level on Etsy, and now a DIY kit on Etsy. I can't seem to sell
         | them. I've met similar issues with other items I've designed.
         | So, "scratch your own itch" doesn't seem to create a market fit
         | for me or I have trouble finding that market.
         | 
         | Halp!
        
           | withinboredom wrote:
           | Have your wife do a youtube promo on it, and sponsor some
           | laser engraving videos?
        
           | dangrossman wrote:
           | I know the guy that sells a tumbler level for the xTool P2 to
           | do full wraps. He does some online classes too. He found his
           | customers by being active in the P2's Facebook groups from
           | when the product first launched. I don't see any evidence
           | it's generating more than pizza money for him. I think that's
           | too niche to be anything more than that.
        
         | agumonkey wrote:
         | I think the structure is the worth here. I felt great when
         | doing a stupid min wage delivery job for the same reasons you
         | listed. Making the whole thing, direct customer interaction, no
         | intermediate no structure. You carry the weight as you see fit,
         | free to do better if you can. So much misery comes from the
         | endless negotiation and fake social protocol sucking life and
         | energy out of you.
        
         | fuzztester wrote:
         | I just checked his hn profile, and was interested to see that
         | dan is the same person who did improvely, which was mentioned
         | by him on multiple hn passive income threads.
         | 
         | https://news.ycombinator.com/user?id=dangrossman
         | 
         | https://improvely.com,
        
       | mannyv wrote:
       | When I burned out of software I went into Sales Engineering.
       | Customer & solution focused, and still technical. You need to
       | understand their business and how your product helps them. You
       | could also try being a Solution Architect in the professional
       | services division, which is more implementation oriented (though
       | SAs can be on the sales side too).
        
       | burutthrow1234 wrote:
       | Nothing is gonna give you good, consistent comp like writing
       | software. I'm sure some sales people do very well but "eat what
       | you kill" also means lean months, and sometimes whether or not
       | deals close is outside of your control.
       | 
       | My advice is to just get a tech job where you can coast, work
       | from home, and knock out a couple tickets a day. Have lots of
       | flexibility to see your kid and take vacations while they're
       | young. Some places offer 4 day weeks and you still take home 6
       | figures.
       | 
       | Sales Engineering or Customer Success would be an interesting
       | pivot but you usually make less money and have less flexibility
       | than SWEs
        
         | pmarreck wrote:
         | I was considering sales engineering because I get along with
         | both engineers and salespeople and I hear they actually make
         | more money than either, if they're any good, but someone
         | discouraged me, saying that if you crave the creative portion
         | of the SWE job, sales engineering is not going to cut it for
         | you.
         | 
         | I'm still fascinated by the idea for some reason. Closing a big
         | deal (and making that commission on top of a regular base
         | salary) while understanding all the technical sides of a
         | product sounds like a neat way to get that "dopamine hit" wave
         | going. (you know, motivation -> work -> success -> enjoyment of
         | success -> motivation) Building out big software features often
         | seems like yet another lesson about ever-receding goalpost
         | lines.
         | 
         | I will say that a work situation DID show me that I DO need the
         | creative element though- I worked for Deloitte once, building
         | out some enterprisey software for clients for a time and due to
         | business reasons outside my control, they halted all new
         | development on the product and switched to pure support/bugfix
         | mode. My job satisfaction absolutely PLUMMETED.
         | 
         | Another side gig I found fun was... and I don't even know what
         | the name of this job is because I only did it a couple times
         | but it was fun both times... "objective technical performance
         | evaluator". Basically, there are situations out there with
         | nontechnical businesspeople who have hired offshore software
         | engineering labor who end up jerking them around a bit to the
         | point where they suspect they're being jerked around (you can't
         | fool people forever) but they cannot point to anything in
         | particular, so they hire YOU to sit in on calls and call out
         | the BS. I can't tell you how shamefully fun it was to call out
         | other SWE teams on their BS while the businesspeople on whose
         | side you're advocating for are grinning next to you.
         | Essentially, businesspeople hiring offshore SWE teams ALWAYS
         | need an advocate on their side who "talks the talk". It
         | basically works like this- you get github access, you sit in on
         | some calls, you ask some very pointed questions, and then you
         | write up a report about the code, the time things are taking,
         | the designs being proposed or created, etc. With ChatGPT help,
         | writing up such a report would be cake- you could basically
         | just brain-dump a bunch of observed facts into a text file and
         | ask it to create an organized professional report for you- you
         | can even ask it to make it strongly-worded, etc. Easy money,
         | everybody's happy!
        
           | marcus0x62 wrote:
           | > I was considering sales engineering because I get along
           | with both engineers and salespeople and I hear they actually
           | make more money than either, if they're any good
           | 
           | Hi, former Sales Engineer/Manager here. SEs do not make more
           | than their sales counterparts in salary/commission, and
           | usually don't make more in stock (although they often think
           | they do.)
           | 
           | In my best years, I would make half what my sales peer made.
           | In bad years, I could make more as a percentage, but only
           | because sales people are usually more leveraged (50/50
           | base/commission vs 70-80% base for an SE.)
        
         | extragood wrote:
         | To your last point, that's basically what I did. I get a lot of
         | satisfaction from being the technical consult for customers,
         | working alongside Sales and CS, and still having that link back
         | to engineering. The kicker is that I get paid about the same.
         | The right company will highly value a competent customer-facing
         | engineer.
        
         | piloto_ciego wrote:
         | Aviation does but the road to it is challenging and you can end
         | up like me where you end up having to do something else if you
         | get sick
        
         | talldatethrow wrote:
         | Whether deals close or not is always technically outside your
         | control.
         | 
         | What's not outside your control is how many deals you currently
         | have working, so that you aren't reliant on one particular deal
         | closing so that you have income in the immediate next few
         | months.
         | 
         | Obviously the hard part is what happens when things happen to
         | go your way and 3 deals close at the same time. But if you can
         | figure out how to deal with that, most problems with the ups
         | and downs of sales are taken care of.
        
         | itsoktocry wrote:
         | > _My advice is to just get a tech job where you can coast,
         | work from home, and knock out a couple tickets a day._
         | 
         | Bingo. We in this field are getting accustomed to extreme
         | compensation. But do you know how many SMBs would love to have
         | a capable "tech person" for $60-80k per year? If you're remote
         | you can probably work half days.
         | 
         | This is my plan, after I finish the grind.
        
           | Vegenoid wrote:
           | I think there are actually not that many SMBs that want a
           | tech person who limits their working hours and won't handle
           | problems that come up on evenings, weekends, and holidays.
           | That is, they don't want an IT person who won't return their
           | after-hours emergency call.
           | 
           | And SMB owners are not very good at determining what is an IT
           | emergency.
        
       | whiplash451 wrote:
       | Options you could consider:
       | 
       | 1. Taking a significant sabbatical (6-12 months) if you have
       | runway for it
       | 
       | 2. Meeting with people you trust (e.g. past colleagues) and
       | discuss your situation openly
       | 
       | 3. Switching role. People & strategy could lead to product
       | management (but PM roles comes with their own suite of
       | frustrations)
       | 
       | 4. Finding a mentor or a coach and find what drives you. It's
       | there, hidden somewhere in the pile of work that you left behind.
        
       | cj wrote:
       | Very similar thread from a week ago with 100+ comments:
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40720121
        
       | CodeWriter23 wrote:
       | Question: EM - Engineering Manager?
        
         | n8ta wrote:
         | Believe so
        
       | adastra22 wrote:
       | I'm launching a startup to make molecular nanotechnology a
       | reality. Still engineering, but not software.
       | 
       | Founding a company isn't great work/life balance no matter the
       | field, but it is significantly more rewarding in deep tech imho.
        
         | maximinus_thrax wrote:
         | Sounds fascinating! Can you disclose the name of the company?
        
         | einpoklum wrote:
         | Not quite the career choice I'd recommend for someone about to
         | start a family (and whose spouse is not independently rich).
        
       | yowlingcat wrote:
       | The best advice that I can give you is that running away from
       | something is not running towards something. You need to find
       | something you can run towards.
       | 
       | Do you like what you do and not who you have to work with?
       | 
       | Perhaps you want a job in your field that's "good enough" where
       | you take a pay cut for better quality of life (defense, govt
       | contracting, big banking, life sciences, non tech companies that
       | still have hard software problems).
       | 
       | Do you like building but you want to call the shots on something
       | you want to build for a decade?
       | 
       | Perhaps entrepreneurship is for you. But, it's tough -- having
       | made the transition, you trade off one set of people problems
       | (and lack of agency) for another. Net-net it's more stressful and
       | while the highs are higher, the lows are much lower.
       | 
       | Do you want a completely different field entirely?
       | 
       | I've seen folks purchase blue collar flavored "lifestyle
       | businesses" (self-storage, landscaping, etc) and scratch the
       | entrepreneurship itch "in the small". I've seen folks shift to
       | building physical things (taking up welding or woodworking), but
       | you run into the physical constraints of your body which can
       | present challenges. But, this is probably the hardest path for me
       | to answer or advise towards, in part because it requires you
       | abandoning or at least closing the chapter you've build your
       | career experience inside of.
       | 
       | Best of luck. I'd start with the first question; it sounds like
       | you've worked at companies with "ambitious" technologists and
       | found a common thread of misdirected ambition. That doesn't
       | necessarily mean that you can't find a happy home inside
       | technology. Technology is a big world.
        
       | marcog1 wrote:
       | This might not help you, but it might help someone earlier in
       | their career.
       | 
       | I was born, raised and studied in South Africa. Living costs and
       | salaries are cheaper. I worked in California. Instead of living a
       | lavish lifestyle, I saved. In hindsight, I should have saved even
       | more. The important thing I did was opting for cheaper housing. I
       | worked hard, which opened doors. I landed up at a startup that's
       | now doing really well.
       | 
       | I retired after just six years. Six more years later, I'm doing
       | what I want. I've been cycling around Europe and Africa. Next
       | week I'm flying to Canada to explore North America for the next
       | two years. It's a pretty cheap lifestyle, but I get to experience
       | life around the world in a way few people ever do. I'm working on
       | building a presence on YouTube. I've met others who sustain their
       | travels via YouTube. Even if I don't, I can keep going for quite
       | some time living off of savings. I wouldn't be able to do this so
       | easily if it weren't for stock.
       | 
       | I'm not advocating a travel lifestyle. Instead, I'm advocating
       | for saving up while you're earning decent cash. Don't blow it
       | all. Then hopefully you can leave for what you really want to do,
       | and not be tied down due to finances.
        
         | ericyd wrote:
         | Not only is this unrelated to the OP, but it's also not
         | actionable advice. Sounds like you got lucky and got a bunch of
         | great stock. That's not something most people can count on, and
         | housing in American urban centers only goes so low.
        
           | mgdev wrote:
           | "Save while you're earning decent cash" seems pretty
           | actionable to me.
        
             | ericyd wrote:
             | I found the anecdote of retiring in 6 years to distort the
             | message significantly. Sure everyone can save more but that
             | likely won't result in massive lifestyle changes in a short
             | time frame.
        
               | yreg wrote:
               | 6 years is certainly lucky, but it's easy to save working
               | as SWE. There are people living in your city on tiny
               | fraction of your income. A person without commitments
               | could save the entire diff, if they wanted to.
               | 
               | And travelling is cheap as well, I have a friend who is
               | travelling long term for like $300-600 a month, including
               | all the transportation costs, etc. (The opportunity cost
               | of not working is obviously much higher though.)
        
               | wing-_-nuts wrote:
               | Yeah for real. I think that any dev can retire by 50 if
               | they want to. Maybe by 40 if they _really_ put in effort,
               | but if you 're retiring before your mid 30's you're
               | either 'leanFire' meaning you've basically committed
               | yourself to a life of relative poverty or you somehow got
               | hold of a 'lotto ticket', and that, by definition is
               | extremely rare and not something anyone should plan for.
        
               | Taylor_OD wrote:
               | Kind of depends. Plenty of people COULD live like a monk
               | and save a ton over 6 years. But that requires not having
               | a family and likely not enjoying your life very much. I
               | probably COULD live on significantly less than I make
               | right now. Hell, I have in the past.
               | 
               | But I sure didnt enjoy it very much.
               | 
               | But if you lived on rice and beans in the cheapest place
               | you could find while making a 6 figure salary... Saving a
               | very significant sum every year would be possible.
        
             | benzible wrote:
             | "I wouldn't be able to do this so easily if it weren't for
             | stock" does not. It's misleading to attribute early
             | retirement to a frugal lifestyle and savings when it
             | appears that they hit the lottery.
        
             | necheffa wrote:
             | > "Save while you're earning decent cash" seems pretty
             | actionable to me.
             | 
             | This is in fact pretty unactionable unless you are planning
             | on boondocking during your career and retirement - at which
             | point - why bother with post secondary education and a
             | white collar job in the first place, just boondock from the
             | getgo.
        
           | GaryNumanVevo wrote:
           | I was able to save around ~$800k over 6 years while living in
           | the Bay Area, that's now at $1.45mil two years later. But I
           | consider myself extremely, extremely lucky.
        
             | skeeter2020 wrote:
             | It's incredibly unrealistic for anyone to replicate that
             | sort of principal savings and then return. You might as
             | well suggest buying lottery tickets, which you essenntially
             | admit. This is either bad advice or shameless bragging, but
             | tough to see it in any charitable light.
        
               | yreg wrote:
               | OP asked for any kinds of stories.
        
             | jimbokun wrote:
             | Do you mind sharing your total comp during those years?
             | (since you are sharing pretty personal numbers already)
        
           | jimbokun wrote:
           | It's actionable advice for many, if not most, people who
           | write software for a living.
        
         | matrix87 wrote:
         | As an early career I agree with almost everything you say
         | except doing it to quit and not work in industry
         | 
         | I mean, I save quite a bit (more than a third after taxes) just
         | because consumerism is annoying. But at the same time getting
         | paid to write code and learn how computers work seems like a
         | pretty sweet gig to me long term. Especially because there's a
         | compounding effect, the more you know the easier it gets to
         | learn new things
         | 
         | And big company bullshit isn't _that_ bad, at least to me. It
         | 's a bunch of convenient things to complain about
        
         | skeeter2020 wrote:
         | How old are you? Do you have any dependents, a partner,
         | children? Do you have any health issues; what do you do for
         | coverage? What are you going to do in 'n' years when you're
         | older, less relevant and broke?
         | 
         | I too am a saver, and over the past 20+ years we've been
         | suckers. The problem is I grew up as a child when a savings
         | account, essentially a zero-risk asset, paid well over 5%
         | interest. That hasn't been true for a long time, with inflation
         | & taxes grinding away at any marginal gains. I wish I'd
         | financed and leveraged more, not consumption goods but
         | investments. The other problem with being a saver is it's very
         | hard to be one, then flip and be a consumer of your savings.
         | The thing that makes you able to save is also what holds you
         | back from spending. There are a lot of baby boomers who have a
         | lot of assets yet still live very thrifty lifestyles;
         | especially if they grew up blue collar when you could "save
         | yourself rich".
        
           | itsoktocry wrote:
           | > _I wish I 'd financed and leveraged more, not consumption
           | goods but investments._
           | 
           | The good news is, this is available to you right now!
           | 
           | The bad news is buying the best assets is hard, just like it
           | was 5, 10, and 20 years ago.
           | 
           | Savings accounts weren't paying 5% for nothing. It's easy to
           | look back at what could have been, but those moments are
           | happening right now, too.
        
         | gtvwill wrote:
         | OK now let's compound this and think about how society would
         | look if every participant followed the "rip and dip"
         | methodology.
        
         | lolinder wrote:
         | The actual advice you're giving here is generally good, but for
         | your specific outcomes there's a relevant XKCD [0].
         | 
         | [0] https://xkcd.com/1827/
        
         | insane_dreamer wrote:
         | So long as you are single and childless.
        
       | sgtcodeboy wrote:
       | My two-cents, I found myself in this position about six years
       | ago. I started Brazilian Jiu Jitsu - a sizable time commitment in
       | an of itself - and for the first time really had balance. Now
       | that by itself won't solve the problem. Around that same time I
       | unexpectedly found myself in a new vertical in software (building
       | game backend services). So perhaps moving to a different vertical
       | in software, combined with something to bring the balance - might
       | just be a possible solution. I get that I'm not answering your
       | question, but this worked for me.
        
       | ghxst wrote:
       | What has been rewarding for me has been meeting new people that
       | work in different industries and seeing how my existing skillset
       | could improve their work / job, not sure if is this is great
       | advice or answers your question but I wouldn't necessarily look
       | for different day-to-day work just different industries to apply
       | your work to, but I also don't generally see myself as a "coder"
       | but more a problem solver, so ymmv.
        
       | cynusx wrote:
       | Try marketing, being a software engineer is a great force
       | multiplier there and most marketers are absolutely awful.
        
       | e10jc wrote:
       | I company a cofounded went bankrupt last winter, and then my
       | first child was born a few months later. I was depressed about
       | the bankruptcy, but it was nice to be able to focus on being a
       | parent.
        
       | localfirst wrote:
       | There is a global surge in blue collar fields especially from
       | highly educated crowd. In South Korea, Samsung workers, students
       | drop out or graduate from elite degrees and opting for simple
       | life.
       | 
       | White collar jobs used to be rewarding and highly paid but
       | overtime it became a glorified day care for adults with Animal
       | Farm dynamics. It's especially bad in Asian countries with strict
       | social hierarchy.
       | 
       | It's no wonder more and more young men are ditching white collar
       | jobs for blue collar workers.
       | 
       | But for some growing # of females (and even smaller number of
       | men), it seems like they are opting to sell images/videos of
       | themselves engaging sexually arousing or sexually explicit
       | content while also engaging in legitimate white collar work.
       | Again in Asia, this trend is even more rampant especially Japan,
       | 40 years ago you couldn't dream of seeing 18 year olds standing
       | on the streets of Tokyo but now they seem to everywhere.
       | 
       | I'm frightened by the whole thing. If young graduates are heading
       | to workshop instead of office, it means they aren't going to be
       | consuming like they used to. There is no need because there is no
       | need to be seen with the stuff people covet here vs in
       | office/startup environments where the rich/poor gap is wide.
        
       | karaterobot wrote:
       | I went from SWE to product design, which is probably not the
       | exact decision you're weighing. I agree that the software
       | industry isn't a fun place, but I don't have any other employable
       | skills, so I'm stuck for a while. It's just a question of what's
       | the most sustainable, livable part of the industry.
       | 
       | For me, leaving the private sector SaaS world and working for a
       | non-profit was a good decision, because it put me far enough away
       | from some of the cultural bullshit I despised the most. Timelines
       | aren't insane, growth hacking is a term nobody has even heard of,
       | and I no longer feel like the harder I work, the worse the world
       | is for everyone except the investors.
       | 
       | I'm just implying there may be ways to continue to be a SWE _and_
       | change your situation.
        
       | gtvwill wrote:
       | Not swe, but one man band systems engineer/msp. Own company for 5
       | years, currently bailing on IT to do construction/carpentry. IT
       | is on the decline and I don't see many job opportunities in the
       | future (so ripe for AI replacement). The companies put profit
       | before best practice (literally nearly impossible to find IT
       | companies to work for that aren't mortally reprehensible) and its
       | all round just generally horrible to work in.
       | 
       | Ditching it for building comes with a bunch of pros and cons.
       | Pros, works interesting, massive demand, jobs last 20+ weeks
       | instead of a few hours/days making it way less effort to chase a
       | dollar. I've got a six pack again after being sedentary for 5
       | years, my health is the best its ever been and i dont spend a
       | dollar on a gym.
       | 
       | Cons, wage dropped by about 50% until I get licensed. The whole
       | industry in Aus is plagued with bad actors and shit businesses.
       | It's rife with sexism, racism, bullying and just generally
       | horrible people and companies. There are basically bugger all
       | companies offering apprenticeships. The unnecessary hazing onsite
       | is a pita too. Old fellas get grumpy watching IT workers pump
       | jobs it took them 20 years to learn in less than a week. Turns
       | out youtube builders will teach you more tricks than the grumpy
       | old dogs have learnt in their lifetime. Age and experience do not
       | always correlate in a positive fashion.
       | 
       | I still do IT on the side, it helps me fulfill some inner wants
       | and needs (I really like helping folks get the best our of tech).
       | 
       | I would love to try get into building IT infra like datacenters.
       | Mix the two job realms together.
       | 
       | Don't be afraid to make big changes, you got one life, might
       | aswell "send it".
        
       | Joel_Mckay wrote:
       | Burnout is very common for CS and IT folk. I'd recommend looking
       | at the Ikigai diagram to identify possible career choices:
       | 
       | https://amit894.medium.com/ikigai-simplifying-the-intersecti...
       | 
       | The problem with contracting is people often end up locked into a
       | perpetual support role, as IT market saturation drives down
       | earnings.
       | 
       | Could look at a union job, and set yourself up for a soft landing
       | into retirement. There is also the CS dream job of Plumbing... =3
        
       | NSHkr_hn wrote:
       | I was working on a failing startup in Hawaii Kai, and left for
       | Haleiwa due to a woman who was stalking and gaslighting me.
       | Landed in a Haleiwa house and was stalked, hacked and and
       | gaslighted by the owner's family help. Ran into a man who engaged
       | in state sponsored grand theft and lied to investigators, ruined
       | my life. Witness to corruption, perjury, misconduct.
       | 
       | Tried investigating the hacking and stalking and was met with a
       | serious coordinated threat of murder. Was blackmailed to stay
       | silent about the murder threat.
       | 
       | Couldn't work on code much more.
       | 
       | Went homeless.
       | 
       | Media blackout on the trial (would have been a salacious headline
       | in Hawai'i), perhaps due to my reports of receiving the
       | coordinated murder threat and the status of the social circle who
       | issued it.
       | 
       | Took the NSA's college level codebreaker challenge and did pretty
       | well. Bad idea. They call them spooks for a reason.
       | 
       | Met a wealthy man here in Haleiwa who gave me side work and
       | pushed various hard drugs on me, so I tried getting away from
       | him. Endured criminal violence, harassment, discrediting and
       | defamation, obstruction of justice from a judge, and more
       | shenanigans.
       | 
       | Tried getting back into coding. Even got a donor laptop from a
       | nice ex Amazon employee here on hn to try to rebuild.
       | 
       | Took another NSA codebreaker challenge while homeless and while
       | dealing with the ongoing violence, harassment and discrediting
       | campaign from the wealthy party with a lawyer. Couldn't handle
       | it. Laptop gone. Sorry to the ex Amazon guy who donated it. It
       | was a tiny little i5/8GB, enough to participate in the NSA CTF.
       | 
       | Met a guy into data engineering at the coffee shop who gifted me
       | a brand new M2 MBP 24GB. Tried getting back into programming
       | while homeless. Hasn't worked. Gave it back to him new in box.
       | Was being targeted yet again at the time due to being exposed
       | homeless on a bicycle in public. Couldn't handle it and can't
       | deal with the constant lack of dignity due to experiencing long
       | term homelessness and destitution.
       | 
       | Still homeless seven years later and in a far worse predicament.
       | Not very optimistic about my future. Scrapping for food money. I
       | live on a bicycle with two backpacks outdoors on public
       | assistance for food, which helps a bit. Bicycle has irreparably
       | broken down today; trying to find a donor replacement locally so
       | I can make it to my gardening job for food money tomorrow.
       | 
       | It's bad enough to be ruined with lies while others enjoy lack of
       | accountability. Far worse is to be discredited and met with
       | skepticism about reports of criminal behavior.
       | 
       | Software development has stopped completely for quite a while
       | now. Fighting off the dread of the entrenched, persistent desire
       | to end, mid life. Failed career, non existent, now with a ruined
       | rep and trauma.
        
         | pineaux wrote:
         | Sound like you need to shelter in place. Do some simple work.
         | Be open about your shit but dont burden people with it. What
         | people like the most in a person that is down is positivity and
         | a willingness to grow. It's hard. I know. But in the end of the
         | day nobody really cares about all the shit that you went
         | through. Talking about it like you do in the post above creates
         | opportunity for people to wave it away as a lie, or something
         | you brought upon yourself. Better leave it vague. Only tell
         | some vague stuff when people ask. Give details sparingly. The
         | more story you tell the bigger the chance that they start
         | dispising you. They will start victim blaming. They will start
         | to believe that you have bad karma or that you will take
         | advantage of them. What a lot of people do care about is
         | helping someone who is down. The problem is that you need to
         | make sure they believe you are trustworthy, not-despicable, a
         | good human being, someone they want close. You just need
         | someone that gives you a good break. Someone that vouches for
         | you. It's shitty and it's fucked that there are no good
         | government system in place to help you with your predicament. I
         | do agree with your scepticism of the world. The world is being
         | manipulated.
        
           | NSHkr_hn wrote:
           | Makes a lot of sense and seems right given the perception I'm
           | projecting with a post in a vacuum.
           | 
           | Not really seeking help or a break. Just going with the flow
           | until death. Just taking a bit longer than expected to get
           | there.
        
         | shrimp_emoji wrote:
         | In the immortal words of Asmongold: people who have problems
         | _are_ problems.
        
       | nsoldiac wrote:
       | I can share some real examples I've seen/heard of from
       | trustworthy sources (I'm not there yet myself):
       | 
       | - Open an independent bookstore in a medium-sized midwestern
       | city's downtown
       | 
       | - Get into the jewelry business (not sure if there was family
       | business experience there);
       | 
       | - Open a coffee shop, this person had someone else manage it
       | (must be nice);
       | 
       | - One past tech PM switched careers to become a traveling nurse
       | and was loving it still ~5 years in;
       | 
       | - Wive's friend moved to montana and opened a dog grooming
       | franchise
       | 
       | Note that virtually all require some money to either invest in
       | opening a new business or re-train yourself in some new
       | profession (college/grad school prob just means loans). Doesn't
       | mean it's true for every option, but worth noting how often
       | that's the case.
        
       | ginkgotree wrote:
       | Aerospace. It's been a real "blast"
        
       | mindwok wrote:
       | Give sales a try. I despised sales before I moved into a Sales
       | Engineer role. Once I saw what sales really was, and how good
       | sales people are not slimy, I now love it.
        
         | talldatethrow wrote:
         | I was in car sales for a decade and quickly became top 1% (more
         | like 0.2% really) in the country at it. I only did that after
         | first wasting 6 months being a bit slimy first.
         | 
         | You can't really succeed in sales when you're dealing with all
         | the drama you created by being slimy in the first place.
         | 
         | Eventually I realized I had to be as good as possible, and as
         | responsive as possible, so customers would work with me for
         | sure and not accidentally land with a bad salesperson
         | elsewhere.
        
           | Taylor_OD wrote:
           | Eh. Depends on the type of sales. Plenty of sales is one off
           | sales that requires no long term relationship building. I
           | know lots of incredibly slimy sales people who great at
           | making money. They just dont have a ton of repeat customers.
        
       | Zacharias030 wrote:
       | This sounds like a detailed account of burnout. Take some time
       | away from it all and find your thunder and curiosity again?
        
         | SCUSKU wrote:
         | Would second this. I would advise OP to take a sabbatical and
         | recuperate a bit. In the meantime think about what interests
         | you and what is important to you. Deep inside there is a voice
         | that will tell you, you just have to listen hard enough to hear
         | it.
        
       | __mharrison__ wrote:
       | I moved into corporate training (and content creation to serve as
       | a marketing funnel).
       | 
       | I teach Python and Data Science (Pandas, Polars, XGBoost,
       | Sklearn, etc.) to large companies (and some smaller ones), and
       | I've written several books on those topics as well. There are
       | certainly pro's and con's to what I'm doing, but it provides good
       | flexibility for me and my family.
        
       | roughly wrote:
       | Something worth considering here is that while the software
       | industry is indeed a cesspool of shitty management, wheel
       | reinvention, and peter-pan syndrome, software itself and the
       | ability to write it is one of the biggest providers of leverage
       | in the modern world.
       | 
       | Consider finding a role or opportunity to write software for
       | people doing something you find meaningful - you can provide an
       | enormous amount of value, and a good technical person is
       | basically a wizard to people who aren't steeped in this kind of
       | thing. The parts of my current role where I've gotten to work
       | directly with scientists to help them solve complex problems have
       | been by far the most interesting and rewarding things I've done
       | in my career.
        
         | tmpz22 wrote:
         | > Consider finding a role or opportunity to write software for
         | people doing something you find meaningful - you can provide an
         | enormous amount of value
         | 
         | I agree with the premise but I want to play devil's advocate
         | because you can cause harm trying to help in this manner:
         | 
         | Consider a non-technical org like a non-profit that does
         | marketing-like activities to further its cause. You can build
         | automation for that using SaaS tools binding together a handful
         | of their manual processes. But what happens if you leave? What
         | happens if some of the vendors you picked disappear? How much
         | of your time is now committed to maintaining that software?
         | 
         | Software is brittle. It takes a lot of empathy, time, and long-
         | term thinking to effectively integrate software with an
         | organization steeped in manual processes. So ultimately when
         | you ask "Can I help here" also ask "Should I help here".
         | 
         | A six hour training in spreadsheets can sometimes provide more
         | value then a thousand hours of software development.
        
       | datameta wrote:
       | I have slid sideways my whole career, ever farther from the full-
       | stack origins careening through and past DDIMM controller
       | firmware and hardware procedures (one of my first true loves),
       | through functional testing (Python) and structural testing (VHDL)
       | of processors, as well as the constrained subset of embedded C
       | chip-ops. Also slid through that run-on. Now I'm prototyping some
       | wizard shit (if you will will excuse my classical romulan) for a
       | product in stealth.
       | 
       | TL;DR: If you are eager to learn and do, you can eventually
       | switch to anything close to your current profession - in other
       | words, this option is to not think about a big jump, imo, and
       | rather small steps.
        
       | martythemaniak wrote:
       | > I've been an EM, which might arguably be the most miserable
       | position that exists. I've been senior/staff at places, and
       | honestly I just don't enjoy arguing about the structure of
       | software anymore, I'm tired of the personalities,
       | 
       | > My strengths revolve around people and strategy
       | 
       | These don't seem to jive. EM or Staff is about as much people and
       | strategy you get.
        
       | lylejantzi3rd wrote:
       | Another vote for business. You understand software and the
       | software development process. That's more than most in business.
       | Your strengths revolve around people and strategy and you like
       | leveraging your knowledge to create asymmetrical amount of value
       | for yourself. Business sounds like a perfect fit to me.
        
       | shrimp_emoji wrote:
       | > _I 've been an EM, which might arguably be the most miserable
       | position that exists._
       | 
       | Why is Engineering Manager the most miserable position?
        
       | dominostars wrote:
       | TL;DR I do 3D modeling now, though I'm working for a major tech
       | company again.
       | 
       | When I left my last SWE job (after 10 years in the industry), I
       | had money saved and was coming off of very challenging changes in
       | my personal life. So for the first year, I gave myself a lot time
       | to rest, take care of health challenges I had been
       | procrastinating on, and getting back into video games and anime
       | for the first time since college. Through video games and VR chat
       | I got into 3D modeling as a hobby, which I would continue to
       | learn doing while also exploring some other things (volunteering
       | for a political campaign, and interpersonal mental health
       | coaching). Eventually I got excited to move to LA to take classes
       | at Gnomon, which was quite expensive but also extremely
       | enjoyable. I honestly never expected to actually work in this
       | field since I did not dedicate myself fully to it, and it's a
       | tough industry. But one of my classmates referred me to a job at
       | a major tech company that wasn't that glamorous, but paid well
       | and suited my very limited skill set. So here I am.
       | 
       | All in all, there was about 5 years between my last SWE job and
       | my first 3D modeling job (with some coaching work in between but
       | it was very low paying). Certainly that time gap could be
       | shortened, as I was not fully dedicating myself to it, but it
       | would have also been a much less enjoyable process and transition
       | if there was pressure to support a family behind it.
       | 
       | If I'm going to give you any tips, is if you're trying to start a
       | family I highly recommend finding a boring easy tech job that
       | doesn't require your full capacity so that you 1) make enough
       | money to not be stressed about it, and 2) have plenty of time to
       | focus on non-work related things. There are tons of boring roles
       | that are.. well, boring, but not stressful or soul draining. I'm
       | kind of surprised you want to be a parent but you're also
       | entertaining a sales role that would be pushing you to work more
       | instead of less. My two cents.
        
       | leoqa wrote:
       | Same time in role, in the process to become a criminal
       | investigator. Spent my 20s on a laptop with nothing to show for
       | it, atleast want to spend my 30s punishing bad actors.
        
       | muffinman26 wrote:
       | A variation of this question gets asked semi-regularly on HN, but
       | I think the reason the results so often seem unsatisfying is that
       | the people who actually find a meaningful answer and switch
       | careers aren't hanging out on Hacker News anymore. They're living
       | their life and have found community with other people doing what
       | they actually want to do.
       | 
       | As a result, the Hacker News responses are often incredulity that
       | anyone could ever leave the software industry (even if it's a
       | miserable soul-draining place), or slight career shifts that
       | aren't really career shifts, with a little bit of Financial
       | Independence Retire Early thrown in.
       | 
       | Now, where to find the community of folks who have left Hacker
       | News for something they genuinely enjoy, that would be great to
       | know.
        
       | azhenley wrote:
       | I moved to teaching.
        
       | Taylor_OD wrote:
       | Sounds like sales engineering could be a good fit. Might be tough
       | to get the first gig but its likely someone will give you a
       | chance if you network a bit.
       | 
       | I came from tech recruiting which I would not recommend but I do
       | know a few engineers who have transitioned into that. I think
       | sales engineering is similar without a lot of the recruiting
       | bullshit and likely a lot higher upside unless you want to run a
       | company of sales people.
        
       | hieronymusN wrote:
       | > tired of the infantilization of the industry
       | 
       | I would like to hear more about this.
        
       | haswell wrote:
       | My recommendation after 20 years or so in tech: if you can, take
       | a sabbatical that's long enough to completely reset, and then re-
       | assess. Travel, read, try stuff, do personal projects, do nothing
       | for awhile.
       | 
       | I started a sabbatical two years ago, and in the beginning I was
       | convinced that I didn't want to ever work in tech again. In
       | retrospect, that was at least partially the burnout talking.
       | 
       | It took me over a year before I started warming to the idea
       | again, and I'm now fairly certain I'll go back to a tech role,
       | but with a very different perspective both on life and on
       | whatever roles I take going forward.
       | 
       | There's something incredibly valuable about fully replacing your
       | routines and truly taking a break.
       | 
       | I sold some stock to make it happen, and it's one of the best
       | decisions I've made.
        
       | thecookielab wrote:
       | Left the SWE world a couple of years ago after 18 in the field. I
       | was fortunate enough to find success in investing/discretionary
       | trading over my career (despite blowing up my account early on)
       | such that I've been able to "retire". These days I spend my time
       | "managing" my own money. This probably doesn't help but hey, you
       | asked :)
        
       | Tade0 wrote:
       | > tired of the infantilization of the industry (frankly, it's
       | embarrassing)
       | 
       | Couldn't agree more.
       | 
       | In any case you might want to consider starting a family first
       | and only then switching careers.
       | 
       | I'm trying to avoid platitudes here, but children really do put
       | some things into sharp focus and more often than not that affects
       | your priorities.
       | 
       | Also you discover where your limits are and that they're actually
       | much further than you anticipated.
       | 
       | I see that as a better starting point to do anything challenging
       | really, as you're already managing the hardest challenge.
        
         | BatmansMom wrote:
         | What do you guys mean by infantilization of the industry? Are
         | you talking about managers and leadership talking down to
         | engineers as "coding-monkeys" or similar? Treating coders with
         | baby gloves because of stigma of social awkwardness?
        
       | smnplk wrote:
       | Have you tried OnlyFans ?
        
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