[HN Gopher] Group chats rule the world
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Group chats rule the world
        
       Author : srid
       Score  : 146 points
       Date   : 2024-06-12 17:45 UTC (1 days ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (sriramk.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (sriramk.com)
        
       | pigscantfly wrote:
       | This is a very real take on where memes 'start' nowadays in the
       | valley.
        
       | rvrs wrote:
       | Once again an SV investor congratulates themselves on figuring
       | out something that any teenager could've told you
        
         | woah wrote:
         | Is it wrong to write about something?
        
           | zarathustreal wrote:
           | If you're 10+ years late to discover it, best to leave that
           | article in the drafts
        
       | pphysch wrote:
       | See also "influencer cabals" that specifically manipulate social
       | media platforms, usually organized in group chats on the same
       | platform.
        
         | throwadobe wrote:
         | at this point many are managed by agencies which can play that
         | game on their own without even needing said influencers to
         | knowingly and willingly collude
        
         | Adachi91 wrote:
         | This is prominent in all engagement circles. A few months ago I
         | somehow stumbled into a sex workers chat and it was filled with
         | "Need boosts" and "I mod X, Y, Z subreddit and can get you
         | verified and submission accepted faster". Engagement systems
         | are awful imo, they've always been able to be gamed via click
         | farms but most places can filter through inorganic engagement
         | from mobile click farms in a single region, the "cheap" ones at
         | least.
        
       | deadbabe wrote:
       | A friend of a friend of mine showed me a group chat she was in of
       | billionaires and millionaires daughters. _Wow_.
        
         | irrational wrote:
         | Please tell more. How was it different than a normal group
         | chat?
        
           | deadbabe wrote:
           | Aside from the usual luxury pics, planning trips and events,
           | pics with celebrities, and high society gossip and boiling
           | hot tea, these women are _very_ sexual. Nearly all are
           | married but of course that doesn't stop them from having
           | their men on the side. A lot of these men look like male
           | models and the chat is littered with nude pics showing off
           | how _very_ well endowed they are. If you're very good looking
           | with good social status packing 9 inches or more you could
           | have a chance.
        
             | fullstick wrote:
             | Why would I want a chance with them anyway?
        
             | elevatedastalt wrote:
             | > 9 inches or more
             | 
             | Ah, we are talking of internet inches I guess? The vast
             | vast vast majority of men don't have 9" inches or more.
        
               | kortilla wrote:
               | Yes, being rich affords you access to the right side of
               | the bell curve
        
               | astrange wrote:
               | This is even worse phrasing than when people say "order
               | of magnitude more" and mean "more", because it makes you
               | think everything is normally distributed, but it isn't.
        
             | verticalscaler wrote:
             | A chance at what? Hahahaha. Ew.
        
               | nwiswell wrote:
               | Yeah, what?
               | 
               | "If you're young, handsome, educated, and cartoonishly
               | well-endowed, you might be qualified as a gigolo to an
               | unfaithful heiress!"
        
               | flkenosad wrote:
               | Hahaha legit. Blow your life force on losers like that.
        
               | vundercind wrote:
               | Having some no-commitment sex for a season or three with
               | a probably-quite-attractive woman while enjoying a little
               | bit of the kind of luxury hundreds of millions of dollars
               | or more buy you and having many of your needs taken care
               | of for the duration? Maybe making contacts in the process
               | to eventually land some easy money-making gigs that move
               | you a couple rungs up the ol' economic-opportunity
               | ladder?
               | 
               | Like, if you can swing that and are a younger dude, I can
               | see the appeal.
               | 
               | Basically a hand-me-down version of the appeal of being
               | married to a rich guy, really, and nobody is confused
               | about why _that's_ appealing.
        
               | verticalscaler wrote:
               | Thanks, I'm not a male prostitute.
               | 
               | I'll do you one better, I'd _pay good money_ to avoid
               | these people. They aren 't any more physically attractive
               | then any other cohort of women (not to be mean but some
               | of them look like Lena Dunham) and are a nightmare to be
               | around.
        
             | gedy wrote:
             | > good social status
             | 
             | Seems very low class to me, no thanks.
        
             | welder wrote:
             | They probably cringe when hearing about my tech nerd group
             | chats, but still eww. The female millionaires I know aren't
             | like this... they must be US millionaires?
        
               | vundercind wrote:
               | New money / old money?
        
               | deadbabe wrote:
               | Millionaires is an understatement. These were extremely
               | rich women born into wealth who basically spend their
               | lives dressing fancy and traveling the world. Unless
               | you're very close to them and in their group chats you
               | would have no chance of knowing what they're really like
               | behind closed doors.
        
         | citizenpaul wrote:
         | What is the billionaire daughters platform of choice?
        
       | Muromec wrote:
       | A secret society without its own special hats, hand guestures and
       | e2e encrypted chat platform just doesn't take itself seriously
        
       | clpm4j wrote:
       | I used to be involved in several, highly active group chats. Over
       | time these effectively became a concentrated form of social
       | media, i.e. mostly a distraction and waste of time.
        
         | subpixel wrote:
         | I'm on exactly one group chat. Hell that's enough!
        
         | brnt wrote:
         | I remember I first installed WhatsApp back in, o, 2013? I had
         | held off for a long time, but I had just moved abroad and
         | beggers can't be choosers. I was added to a group chat within
         | 24 hours, and in the following 24 hours I watched all the
         | pointless chatter and I deleted WhatsApp. I'm on Signal now,
         | and the number of groups are under control.
        
       | dudus wrote:
       | I see all kinds of small communities related to programming
       | languages, YouTube creator, frontend frameworks, ... These look
       | fun but I never have time to engage one for long enough to feel
       | like I belong there as a member of that community opposed to just
       | a temporary visitor.
       | 
       | I noticed that Discord is usually the platform of choice but I
       | can see some using other platforms, the platform doesn't really
       | matter much, and it's nice to know you can always drop by to ask
       | questions. But for some reason when it's Discord I imagine it's
       | only kids on the other side, for better or worse.
       | 
       | "I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one someday"
       | 
       | -- Michael Scott
        
       | denysvitali wrote:
       | It could be cool to have an HN Telegram group
        
         | cubefox wrote:
         | We are far too many:
         | 
         | > members forever without decreasing quality. Over time, the
         | group decays in quality and I often find groups with >100
         | members unsustainable.
         | 
         | Though there could be a decently small group chat for
         | sufficiently ancient users.
        
         | localfirst wrote:
         | don't see it working out tbh
         | 
         | what HN does really well is manage pseudonyms
         | 
         | and its low friction of signing up invites
         | bullies/marketers/trolls
         | 
         | dang and mod teams have done a fantastic job should put out
         | some sort of "community management science"
         | 
         | its tough to build a community from scratch (gone are the days
         | of registering a niche domain + phpBB). you can fake it to a
         | certain degree.
        
         | sneak wrote:
         | Telegram isn't end to end encrypted and you should uninstall it
         | from your device.
        
           | denysvitali wrote:
           | Neither is HN, should I stop using it too?
           | 
           | Btw, Telegram is E2E encrypted opt-in
        
             | _djo_ wrote:
             | Not for group chats.
        
       | kelseyfrog wrote:
       | On shared rituals, the ones I like the most are
       | 
       | 1. Good mornings. Where it's a norm to post "Good morning" or
       | equivalent at the start of your day. It signals that you're
       | continuing to participate and value the group.
       | 
       | 2. @Welcomes. When a new member joins, they are @-ed with a
       | welcome message by the users currently present. It helps expand
       | the join->engage funnel. Some groups have a lot of people show up
       | and then never participate.
       | 
       | 3. Wednesday, My Dudes. Where the group plays participates in the
       | same weekly ritual of wishing each other a happy Wednesday. See
       | also: Today Is Friday In California.
       | 
       | In my experience, it's easy to introduce these into a group
       | simply by modeling them. After a week or two of consistent
       | behavior, someone else, and then many others will join in.
       | Obviously one has to read the room first and get a sense it's the
       | right ritual for the group.
        
         | scrollaway wrote:
         | > Good mornings. Where it's a norm to post "Good morning" or
         | equivalent at the start of your day
         | 
         | Those a certain age will remember UGT ("Universal Greeting
         | Time") from IRC. It's always morning when you enter the
         | channel, always evening when you leave.
        
         | adapt_and_laugh wrote:
         | This might just be me, but I actually hate these things. They
         | always feel forced and corny and seeing the notification in a
         | channel and thinking it is something interesting only to have
         | it be another copy paste good morning message is distracting
         | and annoying.
         | 
         | I fully acknowledge I may be the odd one out here, as I find
         | any repeated action like this quickly becomes either noise that
         | gets ignored or creates a sense of obligation that breeds
         | resentment.
         | 
         | Even discord's welcome emotes feel super fake and shallow. I'd
         | rather people actually send human messages or not say anything.
         | 
         | Old man rant over.
        
           | swatcoder wrote:
           | You're not alone. I think it depends on what group chat
           | represents for you.
           | 
           | For me, group chats are a way to _coordinate_ with people and
           | _share_ with people. Token or ritual messages do neither of
           | those things and feel like misuse to me. I 'd find the GP's
           | group chats to be noisy and obnoxious and I'd be gone in a
           | minute.
           | 
           |  _Connecting_ with people is something I do in other ways and
           | by other mediums (and usually involve more mindful effort
           | than token /ritual messages anyway).
        
           | ziddoap wrote:
           | Entirely agree with you.
           | 
           | People will walk into the office, say good morning to
           | everyone, then log into their computer and post "good
           | morning" on Slack.
           | 
           | Same routine at end of day. Type "good night", then walk
           | around and actually say good night to people.
           | 
           | 90% of our Slack history is just "good morning" and "good
           | night", repeated for 4 years.
           | 
           | (We're all back in office, and don't use Slack for anything
           | cool)
        
             | dualogy wrote:
             | > 90% of our Slack history is just "good morning" and "good
             | night", repeated for 4 years.
             | 
             | Better write a bot for that! Save your company some serious
             | overhead right there =)
        
         | nxtbl wrote:
         | 1. & 3. I hate all channels and everyone who does that. Useless
         | and distracting. Hence I never hung around in general chatter
         | channels..
        
         | kortilla wrote:
         | #1 and #3 are absolutely terrible and I leave any channel
         | filled with pointless noise like that.
        
         | mrweasel wrote:
         | We do the "good morning", if we remember. It's just as much a
         | way to signal that you're present. We're only a few, 5 to 7
         | depending on the day, and it's via IRC so it's hard to know if
         | people are present or if it's just their bouncer.
         | 
         | It's just a private IRC channel, no bots, invite only and we
         | all know each other from previous jobs or consulting gigs. Once
         | in a while we'll track down an old co-worker who we miss or
         | wonder what happened to, and invite them. Some pop in ever so
         | often, some only once and others have ended up sticking around
         | 24/7 (the core 5/6 people who are almost always around).
         | 
         | With the continued degradation of pretty much everything online
         | that little IRC channel has become my favorite part of the
         | internet. We can talk privately about politics, projects, home
         | life and we support each other in our new jobs.
        
         | OJFord wrote:
         | I hate 1 & 3. DING morning. (Great, what do I do wi-)DING [...]
         | 
         | At least it's over by about 9.30. Worse is the 'brb's, 'just
         | getting lunch', 'school run' etc. - we're not talking, perhaps
         | haven't talked for weeks, I don't need to talk to you, I don't
         | need anything from you, I don't care where you're going, for
         | all I knew you already weren't there. Just set your actual
         | status if you think someone might give a shit. (You know, next
         | to the one that shows you're online, so I don't need your
         | Morning.)
         | 
         | > In my experience, it's easy to introduce these into a group
         | simply by modeling them. After a week or two of consistent
         | behavior, someone else, and then many others will join in.
         | 
         | Well, that's the nail in my the coffin of my plan to stop
         | people doing it by not participating!
         | 
         | Oh the final semi-related thing I have to rant about that I
         | obviously don't want to at work/to the people that do it -
         | little emojis with your good morning to indicate your mood?
         | Grow up, the job to do is the same one whether you're feeling
         | rainy clouds or not, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do
         | about it. (Caveat I'm nobody's manager, obviously if something
         | really bad's going on you might want to mention it to them etc.
         | and that's completely different & fine. It's the declaration of
         | day to day feelings of being on top of the world or having got
         | out of bed on the wrong side that wind me up.)
         | 
         | On many occasions I've wished for Slack to have a kind of
         | 'filter' blocking feature - presumably the authors at least and
         | perhaps others like these messages; maybe I'm even _alone_ in
         | not liking them - it would be good if I could define searches
         | essentially, that if a message matched would be automatically
         | hidden from view and never notify, regardless of @mention or
         | channel notification settings. Then everyone can be happy. (Not
         | just for these kinds of messages, but also say bots too - where
         | some people find value in GitHub bot messages for example, I
         | need to be in the channel, but I use github.com /notifications
         | for all that and don't need or want it in the channel.)
        
         | wepple wrote:
         | #2 is one of those things like wishing happy birthday on
         | Facebook: once there's a hint or automation involved, it
         | becomes absolutely meaningless.
         | 
         | If it's organic, then it is indeed a great starter
        
         | footy wrote:
         | I know I am not the first person to say this, but those are the
         | types of things that make me leave a group chat.
         | 
         | Then again I don't even "good morning" my partner unless maybe
         | if it's a big day for either one of us, so I may just be way
         | way outside the intended target audience for this type of group
         | chat.
        
       | cubefox wrote:
       | I remember a poll on Facebook where someone asked whether you
       | tend to appreciate or are annoyed by being invited into group
       | chats. Most people appreciated invitations.
        
         | gleenn wrote:
         | In general I loathe them. I feel like they are so distracting.
         | And then people get all spammy in groups intended to be
         | planning groups and you have to scroll back a year to find
         | which hotel room to book or whatever. I have Messenger
         | notifications blocked and honestly don't know how anyone pays
         | attention to so many and also have day jobs.
        
       | msie wrote:
       | Reading this as my iMessage group chat has gone haywire. I'm
       | missing messages or rather those messages are delayed by 1-2
       | days. Causing chaos as I am asking people to repeat or clarify
       | their messages. Then I get non-sensical messages out of nowhere
       | in the middle of the night because the context is missing.
        
       | the_snooze wrote:
       | >Salons and groups have always existed but why the recent shift
       | to private discourse?
       | 
       | Because the public internet makes it too easy for people to sell
       | you stuff, extract value from you, or harass you. Private chats
       | are human-scale environments where understandable social norms---
       | not commerce, algorithms, or formal rules---drive the
       | interactions. It's an authentic experience.
        
         | jvm___ wrote:
         | https://maggieappleton.com/ai-dark-forest
         | 
         | As AI takes over the public internet (the trees) the people
         | will retreat to safe underground spaces where they know only
         | authentic humans live.
        
           | thegrim33 wrote:
           | It's pretty ironic that every one of their "cozy internet"
           | site examples requires pumping all of your communications
           | through a third-party private business that only exists if it
           | somehow can make money off of you, and which can do whatever
           | nebulous stuff with your data that it wants. Doesn't seem
           | very cozy to me.
           | 
           | I believe the mainstream internet is already completely
           | overrun by malicious actors, whether bots or not, and the
           | majority of the population doesn't seem to care or have the
           | ability to notice. I don't see the bulk of the population
           | doing anything to retreat from it. A subset of the
           | population, that includes myself, sure, but "the people", I
           | doubt it.
        
         | pavel_lishin wrote:
         | It's also a place where people can't easily take what you say
         | out of context to make you look particularly bad. A safe space,
         | in a way.
        
         | lukan wrote:
         | If the groups get big enough, bots sneak in.
         | 
         | Telegram is good for groups. But the bots are annoying even
         | without LLMs. If the APIs get cheap and the bot makers smart,
         | they can soon sneak in product placement in semi private chats
         | (sport club, etc) where not everyone knows everyone.
         | 
         | Right now the ads are quite obvious ads and scam, still many
         | fall for it. So I suspect more invite only groups .. and that
         | works, until the wrong person gets admin rights and their
         | device owned. Not that hard to automate with that many outdated
         | android phones out there.
        
           | the_snooze wrote:
           | I think I take a stricter definition of "private groups" than
           | simply being "invite-only." Invites are a necessary
           | condition, but not sufficient. To me, private groups are
           | limited to people who already have an established connection
           | offline, or otherwise might just be separated by one mutual
           | connection. You need to actually know someone in the group to
           | join, and required shared social understanding greatly
           | reduces the risk of shenanigans otherwise common in the
           | public internet.
        
             | lovethevoid wrote:
             | Would agree with this. I have witnessed a smaller private
             | group have stuff leaked and scraped, which was interesting
             | yet petty drama but the more important angle that relates
             | to what you're talking about is that bad faith actor was
             | removed and now fewer people get full access.
             | 
             | I think that's the way most groups are going to lean,
             | "quarantined" initial access that opens up after whatever
             | metrics they deem important.
             | 
             | Of course you can't prevent all bad things from ever
             | happening, but it's enough to deter mindless web content
             | scraping bots and such!
        
         | fragmede wrote:
         | on any public forum you're at the mercy of the whims of
         | moderators, usually unpaid, which can be capricious, or absent,
         | eventually leading to unproductive circular flamewars every
         | time theres a new article on, say, Israel. Having the same
         | arguments and going in circles when there's no new real
         | information is just tiresome for everyone else involved (and
         | some people get really emotionally invested). private group
         | chat, you can tell those people to knock it off, or they're out
         | of the group or slack/discord/zulip.
        
       | slowhadoken wrote:
       | Group chat has been perfected for the last 15 years. Your uncle
       | just hopped on in the last 4 years.
        
       | bnegreve wrote:
       | > every group chat has a n-1 group containing everyone except
       | that annoying member. And if you think your chat doesn't have
       | such a group, oh boy, do I have some bad news for you.
       | 
       | There are more like 2^n - 1 subgroups, i.e. as many subgroups as
       | the there can be. If you think you're safe because you're already
       | part of one subgroup that complain about the people not included
       | in this particular subgroup, I also have some bad news for you.
        
         | lanstin wrote:
         | You are safe anyways by the "sticks and stones" principal.
         | Worrying about what other people think about you, unless they
         | are your immediate family, is a pretty inefficient use of time.
        
           | dingnuts wrote:
           | this is great advice for people who want to have no friends.
           | 
           | You should care about what the people you respect think about
           | you, because they are people you hold in high regard. They
           | matter. The key is to dismiss the opinions of people who suck
           | 
           | > unless they are your immediate family
           | 
           | this is a terrible exception. Sometimes your immediate family
           | sucks and you shouldn't care what they think of you (imagine
           | that you're gay and they're all homophobes)
           | 
           | as with most things, there's a balance to be struck.
           | Sometimes you should care what other people think of you, if
           | you don't want to be bitter and alone. Other times it's
           | better to let the haters hate.
        
             | OJFord wrote:
             | Caring more about what your immediate family thinks doesn't
             | mean you change your sexual preference to suit them - in
             | fact it's exactly why it would be upsetting that they were
             | 'all homophobes' in that scenario, more so than the fact
             | that there do exist substantially more than [size of
             | immediate family] homophobic people in the world for most,
             | I imagine.
        
       | noobermin wrote:
       | I have learned to avoid group chats. I don't mind actual in
       | person groups, but either group chats I've been in have a serious
       | veneer of in-authenticity or just sheer group think. I know this
       | isolates me from a lot of people especially today who prefer
       | meeting on discord but that's okay, it isn't for me.
       | 
       | Chat works for a lot of things but I've never found it to be that
       | great for socialising. Again, I suppose this is atypical now, but
       | I always prefer in person meetings or phone calls and probably
       | always will.
       | 
       | Voice chat is probably better but since that usually precludes
       | being part of a text chat in the first place, I haven't had a
       | chance to try.
        
         | the_snooze wrote:
         | >The best ones are a "forever dinner party" - good friends and
         | conversation happening in perpetuity.
         | 
         | I took the piece as mainly talking about group chats among
         | people who already mostly know each other offline. From my
         | experience, these are indeed really good, because the high
         | barrier to entry keeps weird randos out and establishes a high
         | floor for common interests and understanding. They're an online
         | extension of in-person groups, not a substitute for them.
        
         | distances wrote:
         | I agree, I really don't like chatty group chats. In-person
         | meetings are great as you have very high engagement for a
         | defined time, whereas a group chat has low engagement on a
         | constant burn. Which I find super consuming.
         | 
         | My preferred use of group chats (and 1-to-1 chats too!) is
         | mainly just to arrange live meetings / calls. If a discussion
         | gets going in the chat itself, I'll just have to silence the
         | whole chat for a day or a week and read the messages later in
         | one sitting.
        
       | sunbum wrote:
       | > the great culture wars of 2020.
       | 
       | Well that's the dumbest thing I have ever heard.
        
         | standardUser wrote:
         | Queer people and women see and feel a culture war even if
         | others do not.
        
       | haolez wrote:
       | I had an interesting experience with a WhatsApp group recently.
       | In the past, WhatsApp groups had an upper limit of 256
       | participants. They then increased this to something much bigger
       | (not sure how much, but at least 1,000).
       | 
       | Anyway, I was a CTO and was a member of a group chat for CTOs. We
       | had very insightful and rich discussions about topics that
       | affected our roles, like vendor reputation, frameworks, team
       | management, talent acquisition and so on.
       | 
       | The group became popular and the admin started creating several
       | groups to accommodate more participants. It looked something like
       | "CTOs 1", "CTOs 2", etc
       | 
       | When WhatsApp increased the upper limit, the admin merged all
       | group chats into a single one of thousands of users. There was an
       | effort to use the "Communities" feature to create topic-oriented
       | subgroups, but that's beside the point. What ended up happening
       | was that the discussions plummeted in quality, where a very noisy
       | minority would take up most of the space in the discussions.
       | There were some high profile CTOs that stopped engaging at that
       | point. Also, the group chat was quickly infested with people
       | trying to sell stuff (cloud services, HR services, etc) and the
       | group became a mess.
       | 
       | This left me wondering if there is enough demand for smaller
       | social networks with very limited visibility that can foster rich
       | and insightful discussions (although this sounds like forums from
       | the nineties). And if it's possible to keep the sales people
       | away, or at least invite-only.
        
         | ibaikov wrote:
         | I had similar experience on Telegram where groups that grew in
         | size plummeted in quality.
         | 
         | I just came up with the following concept reading your comment:
         | a slowmode, so that people can write once every x minutes, but
         | others who are mostly read-only can give 'points' to those
         | writing messages in the moment to bypass slowmode, basically
         | they are voting for quality discussions to continue.
        
           | haolez wrote:
           | This would need to be dynamic, since a delay that works for a
           | group of 1,000 would probably clutter a group of 100,000. And
           | if all users post at the exact same time, slow mode doesn't
           | help.
           | 
           | But maybe there's value in solving this problem :)
           | 
           | Interesting idea!
        
             | baby_souffle wrote:
             | > But maybe there's value in solving this problem :)
             | 
             | Traditional topics/channels?
             | 
             | The reason why sites like HN/Reddit ... etc "work" is
             | because you've got to click into the comments on some post
             | to see those comments. You're not going to the hacker news
             | front page and just getting _all_ the comments nor is some
             | algorithm deciding which posts/comments you should see and
             | which you'll never know about.
             | 
             | Threads work - to a point - but at some meaningful scale,
             | you need all these CTOs on a server with sub-sets of them
             | in various channels dedicated to particular conversational
             | themes.
             | 
             | The more accessible a community becomes, the more important
             | consistent moderation is... otherwise it'll just go
             | downhill fast.
        
               | ibaikov wrote:
               | Nope, topics don't work. Telegram added topics and you
               | can add them to the group chat, but it killed almost
               | every chat that I have seen add it.
               | 
               | What happens is people start conversations on random
               | themes and this additional friction of posting to the
               | right topic kills the motivation to post at all.
               | 
               | Also, people start to only open topics they like in the
               | group, and close the group if there's nothing to see in
               | these topics. If there were none - they could find
               | something interesting for them randomly, or answer some
               | question, but they just won't find it because they only
               | check topics they like. It also feels more strict, like a
               | confluence wiki of questions/situations and you can't
               | effortlessly chat about something.
        
           | PhilippGille wrote:
           | There is https://slowsocial.us for "write once per week", but
           | no upvoting to remove the limit.
        
         | OJFord wrote:
         | > This left me wondering if there is enough demand for smaller
         | social networks with very limited visibility that can foster
         | rich and insightful discussions (although this sounds like
         | forums from the nineties). And if it's possible to keep the
         | sales people away, or at least invite-only.
         | 
         | It's probably not quite as exclusive as you're imagining
         | (certainly not as much as your 256 max 'CTOs 1'), but we're
         | kind of in one aren't we? It can be done, it just takes
         | substantial effort from a dedicated moderation team.
         | 
         | I helped moderate a traditional forum (Computer Juice, nee The
         | Computer Forums) in the late 00s maybe slightly into 2010s, I
         | don't know how 'rich and insightful' it was, that wasn't really
         | what it was about, but it served its purpose for a handful of
         | regulars and guests that dropped by one time for part selection
         | advice or because they had a 'blue screen of death', nothing
         | like HN traffic I'm sure but that too would've been overrun
         | with spam and ads if not for a few of us keeping on top of it.
         | 
         | You can't just set and forget, not with open membership anyway
         | - and something like WhatsApp would probably always struggle
         | with that because you don't have a great way to give much
         | prominence to something Stripe CTO (for example) says vs. the
         | keen doe-eyed cofounder CTO whose also currently the entire
         | engineering team but hoping to make a first hire and talking
         | the talk, sharing lots of random Medium articles on hiring
         | practices and building hypergrowth teams etc.
        
         | fragmede wrote:
         | There's a paper to be written to do a modern day calculation of
         | Dunbar's number as applied to group chats, where above that,
         | real-time chat simply doesn't scale because of the
         | aforementioned problems.
        
         | verticalscaler wrote:
         | > This left me wondering if there is enough demand for smaller
         | social networks with very limited visibility that can foster
         | rich and insightful discussions (although this sounds like
         | forums from the nineties). And if it's possible to keep the
         | sales people away, or at least invite-only.
         | 
         | You can't keep sales people a.k.a phonies away it will always
         | happen. Every underground subculture gets appropriated as soon
         | as even one of these people shows up.
         | 
         | For example:
         | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_punk_subculture
         | 
         | Imagine you run into Patti Smith and her friends in the 70s, if
         | you're lame you won't be staying long. In fact you might get
         | punched in the face. There is proper gatekeeping.
         | 
         | Once the scene grows even a little there's money to be made. A
         | different sort shows up who understands the culture and likes
         | the music OK but don't truly give a fuck it is about selling
         | t-shirts and bootlegs for them. And/Or getting laid.
         | 
         | They'll start promoting it to grow it bigger and make more
         | money. That's when the real sharks show up and the original
         | members start leaving. Later still normies shop your style at
         | the mall with no idea what any of it means or where it came
         | from.
         | 
         | Sadly, can't punch people in the face over the internet. Even
         | worse everything is all about forced inclusivity now.
         | 
         | This ain't a technological problem.
        
           | astrange wrote:
           | > Sadly, can't punch people in the face over the internet.
           | Even worse everything is all about forced inclusivity now.
           | 
           | Nobody is going to do that anymore because we don't all have
           | lead poisoning from gasoline fumes.
        
             | verticalscaler wrote:
             | wat?
        
               | astrange wrote:
               | If you're old enough you might remember Americans were
               | much more violent from 1960 to 1995 or so and the crime
               | rate was incredibly high in American cities, leading to
               | what was called white flight.
               | 
               | Now, if you work with young people (so-called zoomers),
               | you'll notice they are absolutely not like this anymore.
               | 
               | At least 30% of this was caused by everyone breathing
               | leaded gasoline.
        
       | cglong wrote:
       | Inertia with group chats is surprisingly strong. Following some
       | iOS bug that was causing an MMS group chat to break down, I ran a
       | poll to figure out which platform to move the conversation to.
       | Even though Discord won, no one was using it. Turns out that the
       | iOS users had instead spun up an iMessage chat and were just
       | using that :(
       | 
       | And yes, iMessage was an option in the poll (it came in fourth
       | out of six).
        
       | w10-1 wrote:
       | Nice observations.
       | 
       | In my experience, the most important aspect is whether people
       | care about other people's take. At a minimum, care enough to
       | maintain a respected persona, but mainly, to be interested in
       | hearing and adopting or shaping others' approaches. It's the
       | collective production of a refined collective understanding.
       | 
       | If the motivation instead is malice or one-upsmanship or
       | networking or shaping product reputations, the dynamic is less
       | interesting.
       | 
       | As a corollary, I wonder if the governance aspect - of
       | controlling club entry, exit, and discourse standards - has to be
       | animated by the same incentives.
       | 
       | My main application for AI would be analyzing/evaluating
       | discourse to automate or facilitate governance. If it could work
       | regardless of incentives, then there's be less need for
       | exclusivity, and discourse would scale much better.
        
       | schmichael wrote:
       | I'd like to say it was the 2016 elections, 2020 pandemic, and
       | 2022 Musk acquisition that killed Twitter for me, but the truth
       | is exactly what this article points out: I replaced nearly all of
       | my traditional public social media usage with group chats in that
       | time period. Those events just made the transition much easier!
       | 
       | I use Mastodon occasionally and Reddit only as a passive
       | consumer. I miss virtual communities a bit; as a youth in rural
       | Illinois they were extremely formative for me. I hope
       | disconnected folks still find their virtual communities, public
       | or private, but I think I'm just in a different phase of my life
       | where de-emphasizing them comes naturally. It's hard for me to
       | disentangle whether it's me or the Internet that's changed, but
       | from the positive reaction here and in group chats to this
       | article: I feel safe assuming I'm at least not alone.
        
       | welder wrote:
       | I've been building a product to bring my Slack conversations to a
       | new social platform [0] but I haven't figured out how to get the
       | same meaningful and deep conversations about tech that happen in
       | private chats.
       | 
       | [0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVTc9ibiSkM
        
       | baq wrote:
       | > Salons and groups have always existed but why the recent shift
       | to private discourse?
       | 
       | ...what?
       | 
       | There is nothing recent about this and there hasn't been any
       | shift. I've had a private chat with the same people on different
       | platforms for more than 20 years now. Then there have been
       | facebook closed groups and the iMessage blue/green segregation
       | fiasco and many, many more.
       | 
       | > Which leads to the question: what makes one of these work?
       | 
       | High SNR, shared social norms.
        
       | vundercind wrote:
       | Why the recent shift?
       | 
       | 1) Everything being in public was the aberration. Purely a post-
       | Facebook thing.
       | 
       | 2) ... and also it was never really true, dig past the surface
       | for almost any interest and you'll find private forums, private
       | _sections_ of forums, private chat groups, groups of people
       | hanging out IRL and not posting notes online, et c. When has this
       | not been the case?
        
       | aborsy wrote:
       | How do you get invited in good groups? Like, if you don't have a
       | friend inside already.
        
         | schmichael wrote:
         | That is their core problem! The good news is that anyone who
         | knows 2 or more other people that share an interest can quickly
         | and easily start a group chat. They're free and if no one ever
         | posts again, nothing lost. I've started group chats around
         | something as momentous and permanent as fatherhood and
         | something as silly and ephemeral as the 2003 film Master and
         | Commander.
        
       | miguelazo wrote:
       | >The great culture wars of 2020 meant people, especially in tech,
       | weren't comfortable sharing their views in public lest they get
       | various online mobs after them.
       | 
       | I don't think this was a primary motivation. Further, left out
       | Enshittification of the platforms from the bulleted list. I agree
       | that group texts have taken over a lot of functions that used to
       | be served by social media, but this seems like an exceptionally
       | weak and ideologically motivated) analysis.
        
       | fsmv wrote:
       | Private chats solve the problem of anonymity allowing people to
       | behave badly. In a chat you have reputation and you get kicked if
       | you're an asshole.
        
         | noprocrasted wrote:
         | It doesn't have to be specific to private group chats. The same
         | model worked well on public forums.
         | 
         | The only reason it doesn't work on mainstream social media is
         | that "assholes" not only still "engage" with the product (and
         | watch ads) but they also cause other people to argue with them
         | and "engage" more, so it's actually profitable to keep them
         | around.
        
       | chrsw wrote:
       | Feels like high school all over again where I wasn't allowed to
       | sit at the "cool table".
        
       | fullstackchris wrote:
       | > AI trends started in group chats
       | 
       | what? the current LLM tech is a product of 50+ years of NLP and
       | ML research... it didnt just pop out of group chats somewhere
        
         | sangnoir wrote:
         | No, no, no - the trends are clear: it was obviously crypto
         | first, _then_ AI next, both brought to you by the same
         | benevolent taste-making thought-leadership organized in elite
         | private chat groups.  /s
        
       | fragmede wrote:
       | > This leads to one of my favorite axioms: every group chat has a
       | n-1 group containing everyone except that annoying member. And if
       | you think your chat doesn't have such a group, oh boy, do I have
       | some bad news for you.
       | 
       | This is directly at odds with the aforementioned moderation. The
       | slack that I'm in has no qualms about warning toxic members of
       | their shit, and making them ex-members if they have to. Thus the
       | only N-1 groups are the positive kind - we're planning birthday
       | things for the excluded member, not toxicly gossiping about them
       | behind their back. It does take a more social aware and heavy
       | handed moderation team, but this is a large group slack which has
       | more features than one giant group chat.
       | 
       | There are private channels there for specific invite-only groups,
       | but they're still focused on a specific topic rather than
       | excluding that one terrible person.
       | 
       | The existence of an N-1 chat is a signal that the group can't do
       | the hard thing and actually talk to that one person.
        
         | Seattle3503 wrote:
         | I disagree. I have chats where some people engage in good faith
         | and aren't malicious, but nonetheless they are exhausting at
         | times. You can tell them the rules and they will engage in good
         | faith efforts to follow but the letter and spirit of the rules,
         | but the simple truth is some people aren't "cool" or socially
         | graced.
         | 
         | One of my more social group chats has someone who is both
         | autistic and extremely romantically lonely. He is, as the
         | article describes, "the very online person who is familiar with
         | participating in chat at all times". It is a net positive
         | because anyone can get a response at any time, but they can be
         | a bit much at times.
         | 
         | You can either kick those people out, or take a break from
         | them.
        
       | jeffrallen wrote:
       | If I was in any groups like this I'd mute them or leave. Even
       | reading this guy's blog makes me exhausted.
       | 
       | Introverts, unite! And then quietly look at their shoes
       | awkwardly.
        
       | g9yuayon wrote:
       | Speaking of group chats, I recalled an interesting story how MSN
       | Messenger lost Chinese market. Back in 2003ish, MSN Messenger was
       | THE shit in China. QQ, the competitor of MSN Messenger by
       | Tencent, was losing ground rapidly, especially to white-collar
       | users in big cities. To Microsoft, MSN Messenger probably was a
       | toy, but to Tencent it was life and death. So QQ launched group
       | chat. In addition, QQ Group Chat allowed users to drop any
       | images, including GIFs into a chat. And man, that feature killed.
       | Hundreds of millions of users got hooked. It was just so much fun
       | to be creative and spread memes using this features. In the
       | meantime, what was MSN Messenger's response? Absolutely nothing.
       | No, it's worse than nothing. It was insulting. If I dropped a gif
       | to a chat, MSN Messenger would always convert the gif into a 8x8
       | icon, and sometimes turned that gif into a static image. BTW, I'm
       | not sure why, but big techs in the US somehow couldn't get
       | Chinese market. Case in point, the emojis in all the chat apps,
       | be it Apple's or Meta's or Google's or whatever, are just ugly
       | and not expressive, when compared to WeChat's, let alone QQ's. Of
       | course, as a Chinese user I'm biased, but that's the point: very
       | few Chinese natives like the emojis offered by western countries
       | (and I guess vice versa).
       | 
       | And then, well, there's no "and then". The rest was history. MSN
       | Messenger quickly became a niche and lost its user base. It made
       | Chinese companies realized that they had a chance to out compete
       | behemoths like Microsoft, by moving fast, by moving decisively,
       | and by being creative to fit the psyche of Chinese market.
        
         | mewse-hn wrote:
         | To be fair MSN Messenger went on to lose the western market as
         | well
        
       | devanampiya wrote:
       | Probably falling back to age old IRC might be an option.
       | 
       | AI Might be implemented there as well in future, but not so
       | quick, may be!
        
       | kva wrote:
       | is there anything that VCs will _not_ pontificate on?
        
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