[HN Gopher] The Weird Nerd comes with trade-offs
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       The Weird Nerd comes with trade-offs
        
       Author : jseliger
       Score  : 243 points
       Date   : 2024-06-09 15:06 UTC (7 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.writingruxandrabio.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.writingruxandrabio.com)
        
       | Waterluvian wrote:
       | I'm not sure I follow the first sentence. What does this have to
       | do with Women in STEM?
       | 
       | (I'm not being political. I just don't follow the connection)
        
         | whilenot-dev wrote:
         | I'm on the same page as you here.
         | 
         | Even the proposed rule
         | 
         | > Any system that is not explicitly pro-Weird Nerd will turn
         | anti-Weird Nerd pretty quickly
         | 
         | just feels like a misunderstanding of the _paradox of
         | tolerance_ [0] ("in order to maintain a tolerant society, the
         | society must retain the right to be intolerant of
         | intolerance").
         | 
         | So we need to question what the author means with "Weird Nerd",
         | because if a weird nerd just isn't expressing intolerance, I
         | can't fathom how anyone could have an issue with it ...and
         | become "anti-Weird Nerd".
         | 
         | [0]: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paradox_of_tolerance
        
         | at_a_remove wrote:
         | The first half of the sentence ("women in STEM") is meant to
         | reflect on the confounding approach to the person mentioned in
         | the second half of the sentence, a woman in STEM. First half
         | "YAY GIRL POWER GO!," second half is that same bunch of people,
         | presumably the Twitterati in question, being down on an opinion
         | held by a woman in STEM who, well, the Nobel Prize is pretty
         | good as a confirmation that you are STEMming very hard, when
         | what they ought to be doing is, "Hey, we were just talking
         | about women in STEM, maybe we should not reflexively criticize
         | the very model of the person we were praising when she has an
         | opinion which might be new or troublesome to us."
        
         | orwin wrote:
         | It's because of a lot of the people who push for more women in
         | STEM (i think there is a movement called that too) also called
         | out Karico for her vision on politiking and asskissing in
         | academia (and science in general. My sister interned in a
         | private lab in the past spring, it seemed to be even worse than
         | academia on those point, although the pay was way better).
         | 
         | It's not a dig at the movement or their values, i do think its
         | a minority who do this, but its a vocal minority who might be
         | capturing the movement (i don't think this is the case, but
         | this is a danger. look at what HAES as become).
        
         | red_admiral wrote:
         | There is an argument that, to make STEM more friendly to women,
         | it needs a culture change - which implies less weird-nerd
         | culture. Whether this argument is correct or not is a separate
         | matter (I'm leaning towards "it's complicated, but I'll round
         | off to 'no'.") But what's going on here is people holding this
         | argument are dunking on a woman in STEM.
        
       | ianbicking wrote:
       | There's definitely been a move to demand individuals be good at
       | everything... old stereotypes of the nerd brought a lot of
       | negatives, but they were also apologetic, acknowledging the trade
       | off, that paying attention deeply to one thing does lead to being
       | worse at other things.
       | 
       | The exact stereotype differed by domain... the performer who is a
       | diva, the self destructive author, the manic artist... each with
       | a hint of nobility but also quite off-putting.
       | 
       | The author wanting to combine Weird Nerd with autistic is very
       | incorrect IMHO... I've known a lot of weird nerds, am one myself,
       | and there's lots of different flavors, most of them not autistic.
       | 
       | So much of talent is just really caring about something specific.
       | Caring about it above other things. Specifically above external
       | motivation and incentives. Do that and the weirdness grows
       | naturally, neurodivergence isn't even necessary (though it might
       | help)
        
         | jacobolus wrote:
         | "Performer who is a diva" is not directly about focusing on one
         | thing at the expense of another. Performers are trained to be
         | divas by having no real friends willing to confront them, and
         | by being infantilized by the people around them who lie about
         | their faults, are excessively accommodating of bullshit, and
         | don't ever make them take responsibility for mistakes or
         | reflect on their impact on other people. The result is often
         | the same for people in positions of authority, such as CEOs.
         | Cf. Elon Musk.
        
           | IggleSniggle wrote:
           | I somewhat agree, but I think there's more to it than that.
           | To be a great performer, you have to care about delivering
           | your own "message" as authentically or at least "in totality"
           | more than anything else. Critique may be useful in
           | understanding how your vision is being received, but actually
           | delivering the vision requires believing in your own vision
           | more than the visions of others. The same could be said of
           | CEOs. It's not just that there are adoring fans / sycophants,
           | it's that to be a great success in these areas you need to be
           | able to disregard the criticisms of others when the criticism
           | doesn't really connect with what you are trying to achieve.
        
             | jacobolus wrote:
             | The "diva" stereotype, starting with opera prima donnas,
             | has plenty of real-world examples. These are people who
             | were constantly pampered by support staff who treated them
             | as royalty, and then ended up being huge jerks to anyone
             | who even looked at them the wrong way. Lack of empathy and
             | basic respect is not just about iconoclasm or
             | compartmentalizing criticism or whatever.
        
         | makeitdouble wrote:
         | The line you draw between "weirdness" and "neurodivergence" is
         | interesting.
         | 
         | Would neurodivergence have to be native (so, not grown
         | "naturally") and at which point does weirdness fit on the
         | spectrum ?
         | 
         | Recently I think people are more receptive to lower degrees of
         | neurodivergence. I see it the same way people understand that
         | you have a gradation between having difficulties climbing
         | stairs and not being able to walk. We could probably have it
         | more in the open that many are not full blown clinically
         | diagnosed ASD patients, and I wouldn't see it as an issue to
         | have "false positives" of diversity lumped into neurodivergence
         | if it was destigmatized.
        
           | kristjansson wrote:
           | At some point the question is "why?". We can keep atomizing
           | human variability into smaller, more graduated buckets of
           | neurodivergence, but what's the point, esp. for those that
           | don't really suffer negative impacts, and for which there
           | isn't really any remedy besides acceptance?
        
             | belinder wrote:
             | Just a guess here - but to make diagnosed people feel more
             | included and part of a group, the more people get diagnosed
             | even if it's 0.01%, the more safe the others feel because
             | they're not alone, it stops being a stigma
        
               | ambicapter wrote:
               | How does sifting people into smaller and smaller buckets
               | work to make people feel more part of a group? Seems more
               | like people who have felt marginalized in the past want
               | others to feel marginalized like they did, and work to
               | place people into smaller and smaller categories to do
               | so.
        
               | beaned wrote:
               | And for every group there is an anti-group, another set
               | of people for whom the group-included feel justified in
               | feeling resentful towards in some way.
        
               | faeriechangling wrote:
               | This is not my experience at all. Being diagnosed
               | directly led to immense stigma over and over. You are
               | literally giving people the language they need to
               | stereotype you and put you into a bucket by getting
               | diagnosed and telling people your diagnosis. Stigma is
               | literally an iatrogenic consequence of diagnosis itself,
               | never mind diagnosis stopping stigma! I hear "Autistic"
               | thrown around as an insult maybe 10x more than I heard
               | the same 20 years ago.
               | 
               | People feeling safe because they're not alone does not
               | end stigma whatsoever either.
        
               | Aurornis wrote:
               | > by getting diagnosed and telling people your diagnosis
               | 
               | One of the things I try to emphasize with newly diagnosed
               | young people is that they should _not_ make their
               | diagnosis an outward part of their personality.
               | 
               | There's a trend of putting your diagnoses in everything
               | from your LinkedIn profile to your resume lately. I've
               | been helping with resume review in a group and I've been
               | stunned by how many times I've had to tell people that
               | they need to remove their ADHD diagnosis from their
               | resume.
        
               | andoando wrote:
               | I dont even like it on a personal level. People use these
               | terms to describe themselves in very narrow buckets and
               | stereotypes, and there is no logic to that at all. I saw
               | a post on /r/ADHD for example thst went something like
               | "Does anyone else svoid eye contact during sex" and
               | everyones like "omg thats me too!". I mean...need I say
               | more?
               | 
               | I get how it might be fulfilling to have a label to
               | explain away all your behaviors but it makes no sense to
               | do so and I find it extremely self-limiting
        
               | Aurornis wrote:
               | > but to make diagnosed people feel more included and
               | part of a group, the more people get diagnosed even if
               | it's 0.01%, the more safe the others feel because they're
               | not alone,
               | 
               | I've worked with younger people in tech. I'm seeing a mix
               | of effects, positive and negative, from increased
               | diagnosis rates.
               | 
               | On the plus side, some people are using their diagnoses
               | to find helpful support material, techniques, and advice.
               | 
               | On the negative side, some people get a diagnosis and
               | then try to use it as an excuse for every personality
               | trait they can fit under the umbrella of that diagnosis.
               | 
               | It's really difficult as a mentor to have to explain to
               | someone that their diagnosis of anxiety or ADHD or autism
               | doesn't give them a free pass in society for all of the
               | things they struggle with.
               | 
               | I've had to explain to numerous people that having an
               | ADHD diagnosis doesn't, for example, exempt them from the
               | same performance review standards as their peers at work.
               | This can be difficult to acceptance for someone who was
               | given extra time on tests and possibly more leniency on
               | assignments throughout high school and college due to
               | their diagnosis. The educational institutions meant well,
               | but the students took the wrong message from their
               | accommodations and assumed it was always the world's
               | responsibility to bend to their personal quirks rather
               | than the other way around. Teaching people that their
               | diagnosis is, to be blunt, not other people's problem is
               | a difficult hurdle to clear for some. Many others get it
               | right away, of course, but the internet rhetoric about
               | neurodivergence leads a lot of people in the wrong
               | direction.
        
               | aspenmayer wrote:
               | > I've had to explain to numerous people that having an
               | ADHD diagnosis doesn't, for example, exempt them from the
               | same performance review standards as their peers at work.
               | 
               | I can't speak for you, but that isn't at all accurate as
               | far as I know. I myself would not say these kinds of
               | things to a coworker, and definitely not to a subordinate
               | one or one that reports to me, as I don't work in HR or
               | legal department, and I'm not intimately familiar with
               | actual existing accommodations for ADHD and other
               | conditions under the FMLA and other disability
               | discrimination laws and regulations in the US or other
               | countries.
               | 
               | This is a legal minefield and accident waiting to happen.
               | Tread lightly.
               | 
               | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_and_Medical_Leave_Ac
               | t_o...
        
               | Aurornis wrote:
               | > I can't speak for you, but that isn't at all accurate
               | as far as I know.
               | 
               | > I'm not intimately familiar with actual existing
               | accommodations for ADHD and other conditions under the
               | FMLA and other disability discrimination laws and
               | regulations in the US or other countries.
               | 
               | Why are you saying it's inaccurate if you don't
               | understand the laws and regulations?
               | 
               | The FMLA that you cited and linked is for emergency
               | medical leave, not for ADHD accommodations.
               | 
               | You're also making a mistake that I see a lot: Getting an
               | ADHD diagnosis is not the same as having a disability. It
               | is possible to qualify as having a disability due to an
               | ADHD diagnosis, but it's a substantially more difficult
               | standard to achieve and prove. The average ADHD patient
               | will not and cannot qualify as being _disabled_ due to
               | ADHD.
               | 
               | This is exactly what I was talking about: There has been
               | an explosion of over-confident opinions about how ADHD
               | and other mental health conditions intersect the
               | workplace that have no basis in reality. The amount of
               | incorrect ADHD information circulating on places like
               | Reddit and TikTok is leading people in the wrong
               | direction in large numbers.
        
               | aspenmayer wrote:
               | > Why are you saying it's inaccurate if you don't
               | understand the laws and regulations?
               | 
               | I didn't say I wasn't familiar with them, I said I wasn't
               | _intimately_ familiar with them.
               | 
               | > The FMLA that you cited and linked is for emergency
               | medical leave, not for ADHD accommodations.
               | 
               | It's about more than that, but that's neither here nor
               | there.
               | 
               | Needing to take time off regularly, irregularly, as
               | needed, or working less than full-time at an ostensibly
               | full-time job due to a medical condition that may or may
               | not be a disability are accommodations that would fall
               | under FMLA, and it would be a factor in someone being
               | unable to meet otherwise-reasonable standards or
               | expectations. The FMLA applies even if your medical
               | condition isn't considered a disability, for that matter.
               | 
               | That's specifically why I said that I'm _not_ speaking
               | for you, because I don't know what you know or don't
               | know, nor do I know what jurisdiction you operate in, but
               | I know enough to not advise others about how to speak
               | about coworkers' medical issues - I just don't do it! I
               | don't speak about coworkers' medical issues, because it's
               | none of my business, and it's a poor use of my time,
               | their time, and the company's time. It's also not in my
               | job description to comment on my coworkers' medical
               | issues.
               | 
               | I'd be happy to discuss this further and read any
               | resources you may have on this subject, though. I don't
               | claim to be an expert, and I am amenable to reason.
        
               | Aurornis wrote:
               | > and read any resources you may have on this subject,
               | 
               | If anything, I'd suggest reading up on the details of
               | FMLA.
               | 
               | FMLA is not, for example, a free pass to take time off
               | _as needed_ , or regularly.
               | 
               | The wording of FMLA is more about _recovering_ from an
               | illness. Someone who routinely becomes overwhelmed with
               | work and needs extra time off is going to have a hard
               | time arguing that it 's actually FMLA protected leave..
               | FMLA will specifically exclude things like taking time
               | off for routine medical care, because it's specifically
               | not for those purposes.
        
               | aspenmayer wrote:
               | > FMLA will specifically exclude things like taking time
               | off for routine medical care, because it's specifically
               | not for those purposes.
               | 
               | I am going to have to disagree with you there: continuing
               | care and mental health days are covered under the FMLA as
               | I read it.
               | 
               | https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fact-sheets/28o-mental-
               | heal...
               | 
               | > LEAVE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CONDITIONS UNDER THE FMLA
               | 
               | > An eligible employee may take FMLA leave for their own
               | serious health condition, or to care for a spouse, child,
               | or parent because of a serious health condition. A
               | serious health condition can include a mental health
               | condition.
               | 
               | > Mental and physical health conditions are considered
               | serious health conditions under the FMLA if they require
               | 1) inpatient care or 2) continuing treatment by a health
               | care provider.
               | 
               | > A serious mental health condition that requires
               | inpatient care includes an overnight stay in a hospital
               | or other medical care facility, such as, for example, a
               | treatment center for addiction or eating disorders.
               | 
               | > A serious mental health condition that requires
               | continuing treatment by a health care provider includes--
               | 
               | > Conditions that incapacitate an individual for more
               | than three consecutive days and require ongoing medical
               | treatment, either multiple appointments with a health
               | care provider, including a psychiatrist, clinical
               | psychologist, or clinical social worker, or a single
               | appointment and follow-up care (e.g., prescription
               | medication, outpatient rehabilitation counseling, or
               | behavioral therapy); and
               | 
               | > Chronic conditions (e.g., anxiety, depression, or
               | dissociative disorders) that cause occasional periods
               | when an individual is incapacitated and require treatment
               | by a health care provider at least twice a year.
               | 
               | > REASONS FOR LEAVE
               | 
               | > Leave for the Employee's Mental Health Condition
               | 
               | > An eligible employee may take up to 12 workweeks of
               | leave for their own serious health condition that makes
               | the employee unable to perform their essential job
               | duties.
               | 
               | > Example:
               | 
               | > Karen is occasionally unable to work due to severe
               | anxiety. She sees a doctor monthly to manage her
               | symptoms. Karen uses FMLA leave to take time off when she
               | is unable to work unexpectedly due to her condition and
               | when she has a regularly scheduled appointment to see her
               | doctor during her work shift.
        
               | eikenberry wrote:
               | How is this stance different from one that says the same
               | thing about your race or being deaf or requiring regular
               | injections? Seems to me this is saying that some forms of
               | bigotry are OK and the victims of it just need to deal
               | with it. That neural disorders aren't as real or
               | important because you can't see them and that makes it
               | easier for some people who have them, but at a functional
               | level, try to make more of it than they should. Because
               | of this everyone with any level of these conditions
               | should just suck it up where it doesn't jive well with
               | our common hierarchical workplace organization.
        
               | Aurornis wrote:
               | > How is this stance different from one that says the
               | same thing about your race or being deaf or requiring
               | regular injections? Seems to me this is saying that some
               | forms of bigotry are OK and the victims of it just need
               | to deal with it.
               | 
               | I never suggested discrimination based on mental health
               | conditions is okay or encouraged. I'm just pointing out
               | that you shouldn't put it on your resume and you can't
               | expect it to exempt you from having to do your job. It's
               | simple.
               | 
               | I don't understand your analogy to race because that
               | doesn't make any sense and certainly isn't relevant to
               | what I said.
               | 
               | As for your example of being deaf: The reality is that
               | any disability that prevents someone from doing a job, in
               | a way that that cannot be _reasonably_ accommodated,
               | means that an employer doesn 't have to hire that person
               | for the job. This makes people angry in the general
               | sense, but the truth is that there are jobs that require
               | certain abilities to perform. If someone was, for
               | example, confined to a wheelchair then they would not be
               | considered for a job loading trucks. That's
               | "discrimination" in the general sense of the word, but
               | it's certainly not bigotry.
               | 
               | I think you've either misunderstood what I was saying, or
               | you're upset that the world isn't as idealistic as you
               | want. The reality is that if a condition prevents someone
               | from doing a job and it can't be reasonably accommodated,
               | the employer isn't forced to keep paying that person and
               | ignore their inability to do the job.
               | 
               | Having ADHD is a hurdle, but not something that prevents
               | most people from doing jobs. It makes them more
               | difficult, yes, but not impossible. If the condition is
               | so bad that it becomes _disabling_ (legal definition)
               | then that 's a different story, but again you're not
               | required to employ people who have disabilities that
               | prevent them from doing the job.
        
               | eikenberry wrote:
               | The analogy to race was due to DEI training at work. They
               | equate all things people have biases against as things
               | you should work to overcome. Race is one of these as is
               | sex, handicaps, etc.
               | 
               | The deaf example is actually quite good. People who
               | suffer from neurological disorders have a disability (in
               | the legal sense) that sometimes can't be accommodated in
               | a very similar way. But they aren't considered to be
               | disabled in the same sense and people don't recognize it.
               | They instead just think the people have bad social skills
               | and should try harder (my last employer's DEI training
               | said exactly this). If you had a deaf or wheelchair bound
               | person and people just generally decided that those are
               | excuses for doing things that everyone else can do then
               | it'd be comparable (I mean things that they can do, but
               | can't do as others expect because, say, they can't hear
               | the instructions from their boss).
               | 
               | I'm really not that concerned with a perfect world and I
               | agree with much of what you are saying. I'd best describe
               | my feelings as annoyed and concerned for how much society
               | has doubled down on all DEI biases being unacceptable
               | except for those against people with neurological
               | disorders (both sides of that annoy me, the doubling down
               | and the ignoring).
               | 
               | And I apologize for suggesting, if indirectly, that you
               | were bigoted. I meant that more as a rhetorical statement
               | but don't think I couched it as well as I could have.
        
               | iamdbtoo wrote:
               | > The educational institutions meant well, but the
               | students took the wrong message from their accommodations
               | and assumed it was always the world's responsibility to
               | bend to their personal quirks rather than the other way
               | around.
               | 
               | This is kind of a toxic perspective and could be why you
               | have so many problems with your neurodiverse coworkers.
               | If you believe they should never require accommodations
               | and are always expected to conform to the rest of
               | society, then you don't understand what that experience
               | is like and how further debilitating it can actually be.
        
               | Aurornis wrote:
               | > If you believe they should never require accommodations
               | and are always expected to conform to the rest of society
               | 
               | That's _not what I said_. The amount of toxic projection
               | happening underneath these comments is wild.
               | 
               | Anyway, I did not say they shouldn't get
               | _accommodations_. I said those accommodations do not
               | exempt them from having to do the job.
               | 
               | The mistake being made is to confuse accommodations that
               | help people do their job with "accommodations" that
               | exempt the person from having to do the job.
               | 
               | Two different things! You can expect the first in the
               | workplace. You cannot expect the second.
        
               | monero-xmr wrote:
               | I'm sorry, no one is going to bend their whole life to
               | fit whatever accommodation you require. If you have a
               | covered disability and a company legally must provide
               | some minimal accommodation, then sure. If you are a
               | weirdo who needs their emotional support stuffed animals
               | surrounding the office or you break into a panic attack,
               | you will discover life isn't fair pretty quick.
        
             | fragmede wrote:
             | so that people can identify themselves as being part of a
             | group, and then find others who are also part of that
             | group, just to have a community for support. if I want to
             | find a group of left handed pansexuals who are into Pokemon
             | Go, the Internet facilitates finding your exact flock.
        
               | zarathustreal wrote:
               | Seems to me like enabling further segregating people
               | would be a negative thing. Eventually groups become so
               | isolated that conflict is inevitable
        
             | detourdog wrote:
             | My guess is to try to improve human relationships. Trying
             | to understand why someone has consistent
             | surprising/inappropriate reactions might help. The flip
             | side is someone who consistently seems to be surprised by
             | how people are reacting to them and wants better
             | connections.
        
               | folsom wrote:
               | I do know that people do not like me. Don't get me wrong,
               | my coworkers all get along with me and I think most enjoy
               | working with me but in general people outside of work
               | don't want to be around me. Hell I couldn't even keep my
               | wife interested enough to stick with me.
               | 
               | So how could we study what makes me turn off other people
               | and have it make a difference in my life? It is unlikely
               | that I would be able to change myself and there is almost
               | zero chance that whatever it is about me that disgusts
               | others will change their natural reaction.
               | 
               | In addition, I am not sure that this isn't how things are
               | supposed to be. This may be part of social evolution that
               | just makes the world tick.
               | 
               | I would prefer we stop classifying people and just let
               | them be who/what they are without pointing fingers at
               | them.
        
               | detourdog wrote:
               | It's all about realistic introspection. People with a
               | disorder often prefer the disorder to change. I think it
               | is a personal decision. If one feels the need to be
               | closer/understand an individual or is not satisfied with
               | the quality of their human relationships than
               | understanding personalities including one's own can help.
        
             | makeitdouble wrote:
             | Acceptance comes from understanding, on both sides.
             | 
             | We have small and graduated buckets for absolutely anything
             | that impacts how we socially interact with someone. Which
             | town they come from, nationality, ethnicity, educational
             | background, religion down to specific cult group, football
             | team, wealth level, parent's profession, family composition
             | etc.
             | 
             | Any of these has potential for negative discrimination, but
             | we also use them for improving the interaction and mitigate
             | confronting issues. The small and graduated buckets do IMHO
             | help avoiding the negative impacts in the first place.
        
           | giantg2 wrote:
           | ASD has different levels of diagnosis. I've been told by a
           | therapist specializing in ASD that there are a lot of
           | diagnosed and undiagnosed ASD workers in tech. It's very
           | possible the only reason they are "full blown clinically
           | diagnosed" is because they haven't been tested.
        
             | Gigachad wrote:
             | At this point we could diagnose basically everyone on the
             | planet with some flavour of neurodivergence. I'm sure
             | there's one that makes people good at sales, one that makes
             | people ruthless CEOs, one that makes people programmers,
             | etc.
             | 
             | But I just don't see the point of diagnosing people with
             | things unless it causes some kind of actual disability and
             | dysfunction.
        
               | giantg2 wrote:
               | No, you can't diagnose most people. Yes, the diagnosis
               | generally _requires_ there to be disabilities related to
               | it. Otherwise it doesn 't meet the criteria.
        
           | parineum wrote:
           | You didn't use this word specifically but this whole
           | conversation has the underlying prior of the "everything is a
           | spectrum" mindset.
           | 
           | In that context, everyone is neurodivergence because,
           | afterall it's a spectrum we're all on and nobody is going to
           | be deadest average. At some point we have to define at what
           | point these spectrums become clinical. The kind of language
           | you see in the DSM for stuff like this is "does it affect
           | daily living/relationships/health in a negative way".
           | 
           | Being neurodivergent isn't a disorder, not showering because
           | you're obsessed with programming probably is.
        
             | kylebenzle wrote:
             | Autism is a result of neurons failing to "trim" or being
             | over-connected. Being "on the spectrum" refers to the
             | degree of above average physical over-connection of
             | neurons. The opposite, when neurons fail to connect or lose
             | too many connections is called schizophrenia.
             | 
             | People that are between the two, the vast majority of
             | people, are not said to be either autistic or schizophrenic
             | (you can't be both at the same time but can go from
             | autistic to schizophrenic with a degenerative disease).
             | Everyone is not "on the spectrum" for autism, again by
             | definition no one that is schizophrenic is "on the
             | spectrum" for autism at all so your comment is nonsensical.
        
               | parineum wrote:
               | You've really only redefined the spectrum. It's now a
               | single spectrum from Autism to Schizophrenia. You can't
               | be on two spots on the spectrum at once. You've still put
               | everyone on a spectrum and my question still stands.
               | 
               | How far on the spectrum towards schizophrenia have to be
               | before they are clinically schizophrenic?
               | 
               | I don't disagree with the tendency to place things on
               | spectrums but I find that people fail to adress that some
               | people are so far on any spectrum that they become
               | clinical.
        
               | magicalist wrote:
               | > _not said to be either autistic or schizophrenic (you
               | can 't be both at the same time_
               | 
               | I've never heard this before and a quick search can't
               | find any evidence of it.
               | 
               | The "over-connected" suggestion did pull up studies like
               | this[1], but that's one effect of one set of genes
               | sometimes associated with autism, and, of course, it was
               | in mice.
               | 
               | I'd definitely like to learn more, but at first
               | impression, a spectrum with autism and schizophrenia at
               | opposite ends seems way too simple a model for human
               | brains.
               | 
               | [1] https://medicine.wustl.edu/news/in-autism-too-many-
               | brain-con...
        
           | dbtc wrote:
           | The phrase has sounded weird to me for some time but here it
           | strikes me as especially so: "the spectrum"
           | 
           | Just one spectrum, 2 dimensions? Is that all we get? It's a
           | linguistic short-cut, I get that, but I wonder how useful it
           | is, how much nuance it conceals.
        
             | kylebenzle wrote:
             | Yes, 2 degrees, because autism is a neural "over-
             | connectedness" in the brain that leads to common physical
             | and mental symptoms like toe walking, double hair whorl,
             | sensitivity to sound, etc.
             | 
             | The spectrum can essentially be thought of has the degree
             | of neural "over-connectedness".
        
             | ModernMech wrote:
             | Picture a color wheel instead of a continuum.
             | 
             | Here's an image that shows what I mean: https://ih1.redbubb
             | le.net/image.4683716510.9542/raf,360x360,...
        
               | fragmede wrote:
               | Yeah, a Kiviat diagram, or radar graph
               | 
               | https://blog.onepatchdown.net/autism/2023/01/13/autism/
        
             | ianbicking wrote:
             | Yeah, "the spectrum" feels like squeezing lots of things
             | into one diagnosis. Kind of the opposite of neurodiversity.
             | 
             | It also feels a bit tech-centric... probably tech is
             | someplace autistic attributes are particularly helpful, but
             | other subjects are probably most compatible with other
             | kinds of neurodivergence.
        
         | walt_grata wrote:
         | I duno on some of that. Until I was about 39 I was a "weird
         | nerd" and then my wife (Dr of special education) finally
         | convinced me to talk to a Dr and get get tested for autism.
         | Turns out I'm ASD 1, would have been Asperger's in the past.
         | Autism has a very wide range of ways it shows itself.
        
           | sneed_chucker wrote:
           | Well, to me your comment also speaks to the increasing degree
           | to which we medicalize personality traits.
           | 
           | I'm sure your diagnosis is legitimate, but also I'm inferring
           | from your comment that you are married and gainfully
           | employed; so it sounds like you're able to build and maintain
           | relationships, as well hold conversations with strangers or
           | non-close acquaintances when necessary.
           | 
           | In years past would any professional have bothered to test
           | someone like you for a disorder?
        
             | faeriechangling wrote:
             | I don't really accept the validity of people who are
             | generally more functional and conventionally successful
             | than average being called "disordered" in the first place.
             | It seems like a weird arbitrary insistence of the medical
             | system to simply pathologize anybody who fits into a
             | certain box.
        
               | tomrod wrote:
               | I'm glad you aren't a, diagnostician with that bias!
        
               | WereAllMadHere wrote:
               | What about someone who needs a wheelchair but is
               | conveniently successful?
        
               | coffeebeqn wrote:
               | If they seemingly successfully have walked around their
               | entire lives - sure. But this seems like a off analogy
        
               | faeriechangling wrote:
               | Being in a wheelchair is rarely going to be caused by a
               | disorder, also autism is different insofar that the
               | negatives and positives seem to be linked to eachother
               | and are not merely a matter of random circumstance.
               | 
               | But practically, the disorder definition above basically
               | would lump the above poster in with somebody who was
               | struggling to hold down a part time job or any social
               | relationships as having the same level of disability. All
               | therapies, treatments, accomidations, etc will end up
               | calibrated for the more profoundly disabled person while
               | being offered to the above poster. Generally, peoples
               | first impression of the person will understandably be
               | based on that of the average person with autism spectrum
               | disorder if they're told they're autistic which will
               | cause them to be pretty profoundly misunderstood.
               | 
               | That's just my take on this.
        
               | detourdog wrote:
               | The disorder is how they affect their social
               | surroundings. Everyone is on the spectrum and the
               | disordered are having social problems.
        
               | faeriechangling wrote:
               | Yeah but we don't call people disordered for lacking the
               | talents of these gainfully employed autistics, so it
               | seems sort of arbitrary to me.
        
               | detourdog wrote:
               | I think the behavior is called disordered not the person
               | exhibiting them. Many of the disordered behaviors can be
               | transient.
        
               | rustyboy wrote:
               | Out of curiosity, given it is a spectrum, what's at the
               | other end of "really" autisitc (if that's even the right
               | word) or does that just go from 0 being "normal" to 1
               | being that "really"?
        
               | detourdog wrote:
               | I think another comment said the opposite was
               | schizophrenia.
        
               | alistairSH wrote:
               | The problem with this line of labeling is there are
               | multiple possible "spectrums". I'm not sure what the best
               | visualization would be... Like a starburst, with the
               | center being normal, and all possible disorders going
               | away (except they can be combined, so this isn't perfect
               | either).
               | 
               | But, if you're asking about the typical autistic
               | inability to communicate with others, then yeah, 0-1
               | works as well as any. Just don't take it as literal or as
               | the only possible set of traits.
        
             | sctb wrote:
             | Being married and gainfully employed and able to build and
             | maintain relationships as well as hold conversations with
             | strangers when necessary can come at an exceptionally high
             | cost for neurodivergent people in the form of masking (like
             | a kind of mental tech debt). Instead of overt social
             | difficulty, this might present itself as anxiety,
             | depression, and suicidality--those conditions are worthy of
             | medicalization IMO.
        
               | sneed_chucker wrote:
               | I agree with what you're saying, but also - everyone has
               | problems. Is anyone truly normal or neurotypical? Why do
               | some people's problems get the validation of the medical
               | system and others don't?
               | 
               | (These are non-rhetorical questions, I'm really not sure
               | about the answers to them myself)
        
               | sctb wrote:
               | > [...] everyone has problems
               | 
               | They certainly do. And I don't think we can make
               | meaningful comparisons between individuals in terms of
               | their problems, how they struggle or suffer, etc. For me
               | personally, I don't assume to have it any worse than
               | anyone else, and I always assume that others have deep
               | challenges that I won't ever know about.
               | 
               | > Is anyone truly normal or neurotypical?
               | 
               | Again, these concepts become strained when applied to
               | individuals. It's like the family who has 1.5 children:
               | they don't exist. These are ever-changing labels that we
               | make use of within an extremely nebulous social process.
               | I try to apply them only in well-defined contexts and
               | then throw up my hands in the general case.
               | 
               | > Why do some people's problems get the validation of the
               | medical system and others don't?
               | 
               | I have no idea; in my mind this question is trying to
               | peer closely into the nebula.
        
               | alistairSH wrote:
               | _Why do some people 's problems get the validation of the
               | medical system and others don't?_
               | 
               | Very roughly, because some people can't function without
               | intervention (for loose definitions of "function"). And
               | some treatment (therapy, drugs, whatever) can help them
               | function.
               | 
               | Autism 1/Aspergers is sometimes kind of borderline - some
               | people can function with it, but it can exact a heavy
               | tool on them as a sibling comment noted. Depress and
               | suicide are relatively more common. Why go through life
               | miserable if it's not necessary?
               | 
               | People without autism or other diagnosable issues are
               | generally more resilient. a bad week, one-off negative
               | occurrence, etc won't send them into a tailspin. That's a
               | very real concern with some neurodivergent individuals.
               | 
               | And you do have to remember, it's all a spectrum. And as
               | observers, we don't know what a person is
               | feeling/thinking internally and not expressing.
        
               | TeMPOraL wrote:
               | > _Why do some people 's problems get the validation of
               | the medical system and others don't?_
               | 
               | Because there are effective forms of treatment available,
               | but are gated by diagnosis because of $reasons.
               | Validation of the medical system enables one to access
               | those treatments, perhaps most important of which is
               | being able to tell yourself, as well as others, that
               | you're having an actual problem and are not "just lazy"
               | or need to "just get yourself together", etc.
        
               | ergonaught wrote:
               | > Is anyone truly normal or neurotypical
               | 
               | Yes. I get that your questions appear to be sincere and
               | genuine, but, yes. Relative to the actual, demonstrable,
               | neurological differences in connectivity and so forth in
               | the "neurodivergent" brain, the overwhelming majority of
               | people are "normal". Relative to the actual lived
               | experience of "neurodivergents", the overwhelming
               | majority of people are "normal".
               | 
               | These kinds of questions are asked by people who simply
               | don't understand the enormity of the difference.
               | 
               | Much like people who don't have aphantasia speaking to
               | people who do. And so forth.
        
               | alistairSH wrote:
               | _Much like people who don't have aphantasia speaking to
               | people who do. And so forth._
               | 
               | Aphantasia is one that I find extremely hard to wrap my
               | head around. The notion that somebody who's otherwise
               | normal can't visualize things is really interesting. I
               | have a friend who has it. The only outward symptom is his
               | dislike of fiction and most TV/movies (and you'd only
               | notice that if you knew him fairly well).
        
               | majormajor wrote:
               | > These kinds of questions are asked by people who simply
               | don't understand the enormity of the difference.
               | 
               | Eh. Not necessarily.
               | 
               | Going back to the full line you're responding to: "I
               | agree with what you're saying, but also - everyone has
               | problems. Is anyone truly normal or neurotypical? Why do
               | some people's problems get the validation of the medical
               | system and others don't?"
               | 
               | I'm "neurodivergent" in ASD/ADHD ways but also "just
               | plain lazy" even in non-ADHD-ways.
               | 
               | The laziness has caused me more problems in some ways.
               | 
               | But it's generally seen as more of a "character flaw"
               | than a "neurodivergent" issue.
               | 
               | If someone is socially normal, attention-normal, but
               | "just lazy" we'd rarely try to make any major
               | interventions, though they might - especially from our
               | outside perspectives, seeing the self-inflicted wounds! -
               | make major improvements in the person's quality of life
               | if they were done.
               | 
               | Is it that we don't know how? Is it that we think they
               | should know better?
               | 
               | I feel like that's a big part of why I generally roll my
               | eyes at a lot of how the Extremely Online talk about
               | "neurodivergence" today but I couldn't honestly tell you
               | how much of that is also coming from a place of
               | bitterness, like "I buckled down and figured out how to
               | function normally, just put in the work already." So I
               | don't know.
        
             | tomrod wrote:
             | Are you aware that ASD isn't purely psychosocial?
        
               | sneed_chucker wrote:
               | Yes I'm aware that it's understood to be neurological
               | condition.
               | 
               | But it's diagnosed based on behavioral observations, it's
               | not like people get diagnosed with ASD based on brain
               | scans like you would for MS or parkinsons.
        
             | seanmcdirmid wrote:
             | Human brains are complicated. Many psychological disorders
             | we have little hard science to understand them with. That
             | doesn't mean they don't exist, and much more importantly,
             | that a diagnosis is _useful_ in improving someone's
             | situation.
        
             | BolexNOLA wrote:
             | This reads kind of like "my parents hit me when I was
             | younger and I turned out fine" though o highly doubt it's
             | your intention.
             | 
             | Just because things seemingly turned out OK doesn't mean
             | the treatment was appropriate. In the same way, just
             | because someone manages to "get by" doesn't mean they don't
             | need to be diagnosed. It's just making their life
             | needlessly more difficult whereas they could yave more
             | resources that reduce the burden they have to live with
             | every day.
             | 
             | Just knowing you have a diagnosis, regardless of whether or
             | not you are treated, can be incredibly empowering and
             | helpful. It isn't a mystery why other people could sit down
             | and study for three hours when I was in college and I
             | couldn't. I was diagnosed with ADHD, I knew where my
             | blockers were and what they looked like (and continue to!)
             | It gives me a lot more control and ability to manage myself
             | day to day vs. assuming something is _wrong_ with me. The
             | latter feeling can be incredibly demoralizing and even lead
             | to self-destructive tendencies such as a self-medicating
             | with alcohol and drugs. After all: Why bother trying if
             | you're convinced you're truly broken? It's not something
             | that has a name but that other people share this problem
             | with you and manage is, again, incredibly empowering.
        
             | manmal wrote:
             | > you're able to build and maintain relationships, as well
             | hold conversations with strangers or non-close
             | acquaintances when necessary
             | 
             | The traits you are describing here and autism don't exclude
             | each other. Many autists live well. Some Fortune 500
             | founders and/or CEOs are autistic. I'm tempted to conclude
             | you are projecting a stereotype, but I might be reading too
             | much into your post.
        
           | antisthenes wrote:
           | > my wife (Dr of special education) finally convinced me to
           | talk to a Dr and get get tested for autism. Turns out I'm ASD
           | 1, would have been Asperger's in the past.
           | 
           | Can I ask candidly, what did you gain from knowing this?
           | Presumably this didn't have much effect on you, since you
           | seem to be fairly successful - finding a partner and getting
           | married and presumably also having a decent job.
           | 
           | Seems kind of like a vanity validation for your wife rather
           | than a benefit to you.
        
             | hnbad wrote:
             | It can help reframe personal experiences and past struggles
             | for one, but it can also help gain access to support that
             | isn't available if you're just a "weird nerd". It can also
             | serve to legitimize your struggles to people who think you
             | just need to "stop being so lazy" at whatever you genuinely
             | struggle with by being able to point at a diagnosis.
             | 
             | Yeah, the benefits are a mixed bag and subjective but
             | that's why we should normalize self-dx rather than
             | insisting people have to get a medical opinion to be
             | "validated".
        
           | ben_w wrote:
           | I'm very weird, but whatever I am is rare (or harmless)
           | enough to not be commonly discussed or have a well known
           | group identity the way autism does -- I've done online tests
           | for a bunch of psychological conditions, including autism,
           | and all of them rate me as absolutely normal.
           | 
           | But I draw my ingroup/outgroup boundary broadly enough to
           | include all non-sociopathic humans and several other species;
           | I have zero motivation towards spectator sport; music only
           | holds my interest for a few plays and then bores me; I can
           | "visualise" my sense of balance strongly enough to completely
           | override my actual sense of which way is down; my body self-
           | image is almost entirely under conscious control (as in: I
           | can't be body-dysmorphic because I don't have a consistent
           | morph to dis).
        
           | mattm wrote:
           | Somewhat off topic - I'm curious if the diagnosis has helped
           | in any way. I'm early 40s and have gone so far as taking an
           | online test for autism where I scored very high.
           | 
           | I've thought of being tested by a doctor but always think
           | "What's the point? How is it going to help knowing?" so I'm
           | curious as someone also well into adulthood if you've had any
           | impact from knowing.
           | 
           | I'm also married and am able to keep a job and function
           | relatively well even though I'm not the most sociable person.
        
           | 015a wrote:
           | The article _literally_ reads:
           | 
           | > I recently argued that many Weird Nerds (I called them
           | autistics, but people really hated that)
           | 
           | These are the same thing. The author recognizes that.
           | Everyone recognizes that.
        
         | UniverseHacker wrote:
         | Caring about something deeply above external motivations,
         | especially external validation is by itself neurodivergent. At
         | the very least, you have to be highly introverted, which is
         | rare.
        
           | fdw wrote:
           | I'm understanding your statement to mean that caring about
           | something because of itself, without external motivation
           | (like validation or money), is neurodivergent. So
           | neurotypical would be to only care about something if you
           | profit from you caring about it? Is that reading correct?
           | 
           | If so, I have to disagree vehemently. That is not my
           | experience at all and feels extremely homo economicus and -
           | to be honest - depressing. I want to care about things I like
           | and that bring me joy, even if no-one pays me for that or
           | validates my choice.
        
             | UniverseHacker wrote:
             | It sounds to me like you probably are introverted, but
             | might not be familiar with exactly what that means, or how
             | neurodivergent is really is from much more common
             | extroverted people.
             | 
             | Most extroverts aren't ruthless machivellian self
             | interested people like you are worrying I am claiming, but
             | they are focused primarily on fitting in and being accepted
             | by others- and do choose their activities and behaviors
             | mostly based on that. Their interests are genuine, but the
             | biggest factor in them is usually who it connects them
             | with, and how it makes them appear to others. What do your
             | hobbies, car, clothing, etc. say about you and how will
             | that affect how others see and treat you?
             | 
             | Introverts are, as the name implies, more inwardly focused-
             | and although they enjoy social connection and acceptance
             | also, it can be exhausting and therefore less motivating,
             | and generally takes a back seat to more inwardly generated
             | concerns. It is often wrongly confused with being socially
             | awkward or shy, which isn't the same at all.
        
               | andoando wrote:
               | I hate this extrovert vs introvert thing too. People
               | don't fit simiply into these buckets.
        
               | UniverseHacker wrote:
               | It's not a bucket you fit people into, it is one aspect
               | of a persons personality, out of an almost infinite
               | number, and is also a continuum.
               | 
               | The idea originally comes from Carl Jung, and his point
               | in coming up with it was for people that personally
               | identify themselves as fitting into a particular bucket,
               | to realize this, and be able to consciously explore the
               | part of yourself that doesn't fit into it, that you might
               | have ignored or rejected in the past.
               | 
               | For example, if you see yourself as an introverted
               | person, and dislike extroverted qualities in others, it
               | can be useful, for personal growth, to explore and accept
               | your own extroverted qualities as well. I would argue
               | that is nearly the opposite of "simply fitting people
               | into buckets" - it is a tool that gives a perspective to
               | do the opposite of that. To understand the complexity and
               | diversity of yourself, and of others.
        
               | andoando wrote:
               | How does saying "Im an introvert" not put yourself into a
               | bucket? Youre quite literally using someone elses made up
               | categorization to define who you are, and people tend to
               | speak of this as an innate and overcompassing trait, and
               | moreover using these made up categorizations as a _cause_
               | of other behaviors. I dont like making small talk with
               | cashiers at this point in my life " essentially becomes
               | "I am an introvert, so I dont like making small talk with
               | strangers and its is never likely to be my thing".
               | 
               | I am perfectly fine describing myself with the actual
               | details of my experiences. Its much richer and nuanced
               | that way rather than simply saying Im not some way
               | _because_ Im an introvert. What Ive seen is the complete
               | opposite of ehst you are saying. People label themselves
               | as something and believe anything thst doesnt fit the
               | label is not them, out of reach, a monumental step for
               | them to do. Talking to a cashier all of a sudden isnt
               | just muttering some words, its a foundational shift from
               | being introverted to extroverted.
               | 
               | I think all of modern psychology/psychaitry suffers in
               | this way: Making up categorizations with the belief that
               | making things easier to conceptualize and making it
               | easier to associate things is scientific and valuable
               | insight. I think its the opposite. Youre losing precious
               | detail and artificially killing complexity and getting
               | simplified, untrue beliefs.
               | 
               | I dont need these labels to explore "my more extroverted
               | qualities". Having never labeled myself this way, I had
               | no issues being the complete "opposite"
        
               | UniverseHacker wrote:
               | The point is people are already unconsciously putting
               | themselves in buckets- being conscious of it is the first
               | step towards actually moving past it. By being conscious
               | of exactly how you are doing this, you can also begin to
               | explore and accept the parts of yourself that don't fit
               | into those buckets (what Carl Jung calls the shadow).
               | 
               | The "buckets" themselves (archetypes) are simply
               | explaining different aspects of human experience and
               | personalities, but absolutely nobody fits into them
               | neatly, and they are limitless- you could probably come
               | up with hundreds of them if you wanted to. Which you
               | think are important and worth talking about is really a
               | matter of opinion or personal values and goals.
               | 
               | These ideas are widely misunderstood and misused in both
               | popular culture _and_ the social sciences, but that isn
               | 't the fault of the concepts themselves. For example, the
               | categories in the popular Myers-Briggs Type Indicator
               | (MBTI) are from Carl Jung's archetypes, but people use
               | them exactly like you said- to essentially justify their
               | own behaviors, when the point is to explore the parts of
               | yourself that are the opposite of that. This idea often
               | horrifies people that are fans of MBTI and use it like
               | you are implying.
               | 
               | I'm sure you would agree that people already have
               | different personalities, and see themselves a certain
               | way, and often dislike traits in themselves and others
               | that are somewhat opposite traits to those. For example a
               | person might see themselves as an analytical logical
               | person, and look down on people who seem to be guided
               | mostly by emotions. It can be hugely valuable for a
               | person like this to start to understand and accept the
               | emotional part of themselves and others, but that likely
               | won't change the fact that they are still a person that
               | prioritizes "thinking" over "feeling."
               | 
               | People often mistakenly call this Carl Jung stuff
               | "pseudoscience" because they are misunderstanding it as
               | trying to be science. It is not- it is a tool or
               | technology for personal growth, and is not attempting to
               | be a literal explanation for how the human brain works or
               | anything like that. It would be more accurate to relate
               | it to religious or spiritual practices like meditation.
               | 
               | The fact is that introverted people are quite rare
               | compared to extroverted people, and extroverted people do
               | tend to see it as a bad thing and want to do things like
               | "help teach introverts to be less extroverted" but may be
               | horrified by the idea of the opposite- learning about and
               | accepting their own introverted aspects.
        
               | fdw wrote:
               | > or how neurodivergent is really is from much more
               | common extroverted people.
               | 
               | Do you mean to say that neurodivergence is more common
               | among extroverted people? If so, do you have sources for
               | that? I have not yet heard of any relation between extra-
               | (or intraversion) and neurodiversity.
        
           | mattgreenrocks wrote:
           | I want to check that I'm parsing this correctly.
           | 
           | Caring about something beyond a typical amount for intrinsic
           | reasons is a neurodivergent marker?
           | 
           | Is this really the HN I grew up with?
        
         | pclmulqdq wrote:
         | Mental illness is somewhat linked to creative productivity,
         | sadly. Bipolar disorder is somewhat overrepresented in highly-
         | accomplished musicians, artists, and writers (with the trend
         | going as far back as the 1800s).
         | 
         | It would not surprise me if ASD is overrepresented in
         | scientists and engineers.
         | 
         | However, people also imitate their tribe, and seeing "weird
         | nerds" with mental illness may get other nerds to emulate that
         | behavior without actually being mentally ill.
        
           | fragmede wrote:
           | Or plain just getting away with shitty behavior. Uncle Rick's
           | a raging asshole and we still accept him as part of the
           | family, which means so can I.
        
             | seanmcdirmid wrote:
             | Usually people with an uncle Rick don't want to become like
             | him and are actually more self aware.
        
               | koolba wrote:
               | Except (young?) people are idiots and mistakenly think
               | the bad behavior is the source of the genius rather than
               | just hitching a ride.
        
               | TeMPOraL wrote:
               | Except when it is, which was the actual point here (or
               | maybe stating it more directly). Or maybe it's the other
               | way around (see, e.g. uncle Rick); either way, there
               | seems to be some correlation there.
               | 
               | I imagine that every asshole genius will have plenty of
               | sharp edges in their behavior that they could round off
               | very easily, making it a near-free win for their
               | relationships (and overall success in life). Beyond that,
               | however, it feels likely to me that making them focus -
               | intellectually, emotionally, or both - on being more
               | socially acceptable, eats directly into the focus they
               | have for the things they're genius at, and
               | disproportionally so.
        
               | pfannkuchen wrote:
               | Genius and asshole tend to go together because to be
               | noticed as a genius you can't just be doing what everyone
               | around you is doing. People with a high IQ who just go
               | with the flow do not stand out as genius. The noteworthy
               | part of genius is the things they do that are different.
               | Being different means rejecting what everyone around you
               | is doing. Having a personality where you reject what
               | everyone around you is doing usually earns you the label
               | of... asshole.
        
               | narag wrote:
               | People suffering uncle Rick, of course.
               | 
               | But when it's some famous "difficult" person like Jobs or
               | Gates, or in fiction like Doctor House, the version of
               | them that we see is idealized.
               | 
               | Actually this is the exact counterpoint of TFA: using the
               | inexistent genius as an excuse for the trade-off.
               | Imitating the genius is more difficult than just being a
               | jerk.
        
               | seanmcdirmid wrote:
               | Kerr Avon was always more popular than Roj Blake on the
               | BBC show Blake's 7, so I guess there is a point to that.
        
         | shufflerofrocks wrote:
         | >So much of talent is just really caring about something
         | specific. Caring about it above other things
         | 
         | This is a really nice statement. Definitely agree with it. I've
         | often seen so many fast-starters in many fields who just taper
         | away, because the subject just isn't interesting to them, and
         | it was the peeps who stayed in the field that ended up becoming
         | really good at it. Definitely holds up the old "Average
         | intelligence and persistence has accomplished much more than
         | genius" quote
        
         | red_admiral wrote:
         | I think part of the problem with "autistic" is that, although
         | there is an official diagnostic protocol for it, it's far from
         | clear whether that cleaves reality at the joints, as the
         | philosophers say. It's also still mostly an open question if
         | and how autism in women might present differently from in men.
        
       | Yossarrian22 wrote:
       | The author is missing a crucial pressure that pushes against
       | weird nerds, the people that have to work underneath them. I've
       | had to answer to a Weird Nerd when I was starting out in my
       | field, it was the worst fucking experience of my life, and I've
       | spent the years since warning people away from that person, their
       | career and their contributions to their field have stagnated due
       | to all the people like me that they burned.
        
         | pavel_lishin wrote:
         | Yep. Just because you're a Weird Nerd who's good at something,
         | the world doesn't owe you respect and friendship unless you're
         | willing to do the same.
        
           | p_l wrote:
           | Beware though that the inverse is also true.
           | 
           | No matter if one is "weird nerd" or not
        
           | glitchc wrote:
           | You conflate two things that are actually quite different.
           | You don't need to be friends with the Weird Nerd, but you do
           | absolutely have to respect their expertise in the subject
           | matter, especially when it exceeds yours. It's in your
           | employer's interest to do so. Not doing so means you're being
           | less than professional and might secretly be jealous of this
           | person for having attained a higher level of technical
           | achievement than your own.
        
             | pavel_lishin wrote:
             | Respect for your knowledge, yes - but if you're the world's
             | top expert in Subject X, while simultaneously world-
             | renowned for being an unpleasant asshole, don't expect
             | people to interact with you more than the absolute bare
             | minimum required to do the job.
             | 
             | And frankly, nobody's irreplaceable. If you're #1 in the
             | world, but casually drop racist and sexist slurs, odds are
             | that the #2 expert in the world isn't _that_ much worse
             | than you, nor #3..#10.
        
               | glitchc wrote:
               | And that's fine for most weird nerds. Being cordial and
               | respecting of knowledge is all that's needed in the
               | workplace. Most wns wouldn't make good friendship
               | material either. Their opinions and tastes have a wide
               | range from normal to rather eclectic. But without these
               | people you will never be able to deliver the next new
               | search paradigm. That's how they bring value and that's
               | why the employer hires them. They also tend to be the
               | ones that work very long hours, tinkering with stuff
               | because it's "fun."
               | 
               | Re: racism and sexism, I suspect that's not just wns and
               | may have more to do with upbringing than personality.
               | Most wns tend to be free-thinkers, and barring some
               | oddballs, they tend to self-select out of that way of
               | thinking.
        
               | pavel_lishin wrote:
               | > _Being cordial and respecting of knowledge is all that
               | 's needed in the workplace._
               | 
               | Yes - but a lot of Weird Nerds aren't willing to be
               | cordial. I said in another comment that I think that one
               | of the reasons they find their home online is because
               | online, others can walk away from their comments when
               | they need a break from them; something that's much harder
               | to do at work, when you're face to face with them in a
               | meeting, or at the watercooler, or in the bathroom where
               | they followed you to continue their argument.
               | 
               | > _Re: racism and sexism, I suspect that 's not just wns
               | and may have more to do with upbringing than personality.
               | Most wns tend to be free-thinkers, and barring some
               | oddballs, they tend to self-select out of that way of
               | thinking._
               | 
               | I wildly disagree that racism and sexism - especially if
               | you were brought up in it - is something most people,
               | especially weird nerds who have a very high opinion of
               | their intelligence - "think your way out of".
        
               | Analemma_ wrote:
               | > And that's fine for most weird nerds. Being cordial and
               | respecting of knowledge is all that's needed in the
               | workplace.
               | 
               | Well, no it isn't. That was the point of the top comment
               | in the chain: the commenter worked for Weird Nerd, found
               | them insufferable, told everyone they were insufferable
               | and that working for them sucked, and as a result the
               | Weird Nerd's career has tanked because no one new will
               | work with them. There really aren't many cases where you
               | can Go It Alone without any support from anybody, even if
               | you're brilliant.
        
         | Michelangelo11 wrote:
         | What exactly was the issue, and did they burn people on purpose
         | or through some kind of extreme carelessness and indifference?
        
         | seanmcdirmid wrote:
         | Many weird nerds are on the spectrum and require very good
         | people managers above them to mitigate their quirks, and should
         | never go into people management themselves.
         | 
         | The industry has really changed though. It is much easier to
         | hire social well adapted people who can code at all than to
         | hire a bunch of people with social problems who can code really
         | good. The former is scalable at least, the latter breaks down
         | as no one can get along.
        
           | the_snooze wrote:
           | Any non-trivial engineering or research is a team effort.
           | It's good to have a mix of perspectives and temperaments in a
           | team to keep poeple creative and honest. But the team
           | ultimately has to cohere in order to deliver. That's really
           | the core job of a manager: to create an environment where
           | people can work together meaningfully and direct it to
           | productive ends.
        
             | alexvitkov wrote:
             | > Any non-trivial engineering or research is a team effort
             | 
             | There's plenty of counterexamples in the software space, to
             | the point where most great software was originally written
             | by a single person - C, Unix, Linux, Git, TeX, Python,
             | Ruby, Perl, SQLite, QEMU...
             | 
             | Most of these now have huge teams maintaining them of
             | course, but the initial research and engineering that was
             | needed to come up with the golden egg is usually a one man
             | show. C designed by committee is COBOL.
        
             | greatpostman wrote:
             | This isn't true, most of the best software is written by
             | individuals. Even inside large tech companies, it still
             | happens that major value is created by one person.
        
             | seanmcdirmid wrote:
             | I totally empathize with this, but there are hardly many
             | people managers who can pull that off. And often those that
             | can get promoted up quickly so that they aren't managing
             | teams directly anymore. It is much easier to produce with
             | mediocre people managers with a team of socially well
             | adjusted mediocre programmers, than a unicorn people
             | manager with a diverse team of highly skilled programmers
             | who aren't necessarily great at social skills.
             | 
             | Individual efforts are completely different. A programmer
             | like Notch can produce Minecraft on his own and then just
             | get help to push it into a maintained product. This happens
             | all the time, but you can't produce that easily (and
             | definitely not consistently) at the big corp level.
        
           | newzisforsukas wrote:
           | > The industry has really changed though. It is much easier
           | to hire social well adapted people who can code at all than
           | to hire a bunch of people with social problems who can code
           | really good
           | 
           | If you have no financial constraints? In what world do you
           | spend massive amounts of money to mitigate people being
           | "weird"?
        
             | ThrowawayR2 wrote:
             | The shift to high level languages like COBOL, BASIC,
             | FORTRAN from machine language? The shift to GC languages?
             | The shift to vastly inefficient but easy to use scripting
             | languages like Python? There's a long history of trading
             | off CPU/RAM/storage efficiency (i.e. massive amounts of
             | money) to make computing accessible to less and less nerdy
             | people.
        
               | newzisforsukas wrote:
               | Those also save time for all people? Which also saves
               | money? I don't think anyone was like, "we need a language
               | to save us from having to hire all these weird people!"
        
         | idiotsecant wrote:
         | Yes, the weird nerd is rarely a good people manager. As useful
         | as they might be as an individual contributor when property
         | channeled, they can easily be a -10x contributor when you put
         | them in charge of people.
        
           | doug_durham wrote:
           | I disagree. A "weird nerd" is much better in leadership than
           | a socially adept careerist to parachutes in to get a bump on
           | their resume. To build good products you need to care. A
           | "weird nerd" is more likely to care.
        
         | ToucanLoucan wrote:
         | The author bemoans that any org that is not sufficiently pro-
         | weird-nerd becomes anti-weird-nerd, and in conjunction with
         | this comment which laments the experience of working under one
         | alongside my own experiences of similar, I think it's worth
         | remarking that many Weird Nerds not only do not foster social
         | skills of any sort, but in fact view this as a badge of honor,
         | as "proof" of their weirdness, and just, I'm over that shit.
         | 
         | I love weird nerds, I love the sort of people who obsess about
         | things, who work on them as obsessively as I do, I love info
         | dumps, I love people who are passionate even about bizarre,
         | niche shit I don't care about (actually, I love them even more
         | for it!) but seriously. You need to be able to hold a
         | conversation. You need to be able to talk productively with
         | your fellow people, including difficult conversations. You need
         | to open to negative feedback, to be able to take criticism or
         | contrary viewpoints without turning into a puddle of some
         | combination of depression/rage/self-hatred, or people are just
         | not going to get on with you.
         | 
         | And I fully accept that autism runs through this pack of people
         | like a freight train, and that's fair, I am always down to
         | provide accommodations, I will talk to people how they need to
         | be talked to, I will bend the norms of social interaction so
         | it's more palatable, all of that, zero issues whatsoever. But
         | even with that in consideration, relationships of all kinds are
         | a give and take, and if all you do is take, people will notice,
         | and people will avoid you.
        
           | anal_reactor wrote:
           | > but seriously. You need to be able to hold a conversation.
           | You need to be able to talk productively with your fellow
           | people, including difficult conversations. You need to open
           | to negative feedback, to be able to take criticism or
           | contrary viewpoints without turning into a puddle of some
           | combination of depression/rage/self-hatred, or people are
           | just not going to get on with you.
           | 
           | You implying that non-nerds have any of these traits lol no
           | they don't it's just that they exhibit more of group-thinking
           | and less individualism, so they provoke less situations that
           | might potentially cause conflict.
           | 
           | My experience with nerds is "ok each has their own opinion
           | this is going to be difficult but let's try cooperating"
           | whereas non-nerds act exclusively "my way or the highway"
           | because they have never previously encountered the idea that
           | their view of the world might be wrong "because I'm the
           | majority".
        
             | stale2002 wrote:
             | > You implying that non-nerds have any of these traits
             | 
             | The thesis of the initial discussion is that it is unfair
             | to hold "weird nerds" to certain standards.
             | 
             | The person you are responding to is claiming that actually
             | some of these standards are important.
             | 
             | Your response to that of claiming that the standards are
             | important is to say that actually normal people don't pass
             | those standards either.
             | 
             | This doesn't refute the argument that the standards are
             | important, but would actually agree with them that actually
             | yes it is totally fine to hold people to important
             | standards, weird nerd or not. (And in fact, you think the
             | weird nerds are even _better_ are following the standards!
             | So what is the issue of holding them to those standards
             | then?)
        
         | icodemuch wrote:
         | I read the article as acknowledging this pressure by arguing
         | that Weird Nerds should not be forced into people management
         | positions. Without the workplace pressure on Weird Nerds to
         | become people managers, would they still manage people? Maybe
         | not.
         | 
         | I can't speak for academia, but in tech companies I've worked
         | at I've seen a marked improvement in management when there's a
         | tech track for engineer advancement such that they never need
         | to become managers, if they don't want.
        
           | Yossarrian22 wrote:
           | Even if you're not doing performance reviews there's still a
           | need for directing people technically when the work exceeds
           | what one person(even a 10xer(if such a thing really exists),
           | and that's where you need some minimum amount of EQ
        
             | pixl97 wrote:
             | I mean it really depends where the weird nerd is. I mean I
             | can say I'm on the border of weird nerd myself, though I
             | say I have enough EQ to get around. Never want to manage
             | people, and have a "high enough" position for myself. The
             | company I work for is in the middle of a new software
             | project and just a few months in I layed out a document
             | stating how and where the software was going to hit failure
             | points that were going to cause outages/degradations of
             | service. Nine months later those failures started occurring
             | like dominoes. We had to stop on new deliveries and work on
             | performance for months.
             | 
             | I mean the entire VC culture is ate up with the 10x CEO,
             | the fact that a few other people lower down the totem pole
             | can 10x in their narrow field shouldn't be a surprise.
        
             | omoikane wrote:
             | I think the contention is that playing political games, as
             | quoted in the article, is beyond the minimum amount of EQ
             | normally expected for a non-management role.
             | 
             | Problem is that many places design their ladder such that
             | non-managers are expected to do manager-like work past a
             | certain level. This is to much dismay of those people who
             | are not trained in management skills, and most of the
             | skills they have acquired thus far are no longer being put
             | to good use. These Weird Nerds may very well understand
             | that being at the next level means making impact that
             | exceeds what one person can do alone, nonetheless they will
             | become increasingly unhappy at those roles. Maybe they will
             | leave, maybe they will avoid getting promoted to higher
             | levels in the first place.
        
           | the_snooze wrote:
           | Being a professor at a research university is really multiple
           | non-overlapping jobs all at once: managing your research
           | group, bringing in funding and publicity, helping run your
           | department and research community, and teaching classes. PhD
           | programs really only prepare you for the nuts-and-bolts of
           | research, and maybe teaching. Only if you're lucky, your
           | advisor was thoughtful enough to make proper introductions to
           | help you get started on funding and prestige out of the gate.
           | 
           | It's not surprising that lots of people opt out or wash out
           | of this system because the expectations don't match the
           | formal preparation for it.
        
             | glitchc wrote:
             | You can blame the bureaucrats for this multi-facted
             | outcome. Their ever-increasing pressure of getting new
             | funding and balancing your books with frequent budget
             | updates is what leads to so much time spent on those
             | activities. And of course they tie those activities to your
             | promotion, instead of the importance of your discoveries
             | which is what should be the only thing that matters.
        
           | dsign wrote:
           | > Weird Nerds should not be forced into people management
           | positions
           | 
           | Let's forget the Weird Nerds for a minute and look at the
           | following situation: a person W is technically savvy enough
           | to have accomplished a big chunk of project X. Say, 90%. And
           | then there is a 10% left which takes as much work. So
           | management hires people from a consultancy to pick up the
           | 10%. Except that these guys don't write much code. They are
           | adept at finding their way into technical management at light
           | speed and want to push what should be their work back to W,
           | while doing the bare minimum otherwise. Now W has more work
           | than before, because he has been pushed into politics. At the
           | very least, he will need to communicate to his colleagues
           | that they need to pick up the slack for real. With some luck,
           | W will find a nice way to do that, but that's the kind of
           | problem he is ill-equipped to handle.
           | 
           | There is something in this article which is overlooked in
           | these comments: people like Katalin Kariko are often under a
           | lot of pressure to perform. They can have crippling debts, or
           | be supporting an elderly parent or relative. Or fear
           | something as life-wrecking as a deportation. They don't get
           | the luxury of being "average", because there are more
           | desirable "average" candidates than them: people who speaks
           | with the right accent or in the right cultural code.
        
           | jltsiren wrote:
           | From a certain perspective, there are two kinds of fields in
           | the academia: "laboratory science" and everything else. If
           | you want to make a career in laboratory science, you need to
           | be a manager and a professional beggar. You need to bring in
           | money to hire people to do your research, and you need to
           | support the administration with grant overheads. If you are
           | good at the job, you pay the administration more than they
           | pay you. Long-term non-manager positions are rare, because
           | they are more expensive for the university than successful
           | managers.
           | 
           | Outside laboratory science, the expectation to bring in
           | funding is not as strong. You don't need much money to do
           | research, and grants are not as readily available. As far as
           | the administration is concerned, if you do your teaching duty
           | without too many issues, you can use the rest of your time as
           | you see fit. Academic politics revolve more around personal
           | relationships with the tenured people at your department.
        
         | koolala wrote:
         | i had to be in a confinement center designed by a nerd who put
         | a computer where it shouldn't belong, im sorry thank you for
         | sharing your story
        
         | neilv wrote:
         | > _I've had to answer to a Weird Nerd when I was starting out
         | in my field, it was the worst fucking experience of my life,_
         | 
         | I wouldn't want to tar all people who might be perceived as
         | Weird Nerd, based on one data point (which AFAIK might not even
         | be due to them being a Weird Nerd).
         | 
         | Almost all of the too-many people I've seen burn others under
         | their influence, I wouldn't have called any of them Weird Nerd.
         | And none of them appeared to be geniuses. Rather they tended to
         | be at least somewhat successful as political operators, unlike
         | how the article characterizes Weird Nerd. (Arrogant seemed to
         | be the most common attribute, then greedy, dishonest, and
         | unprintable bad word.)
         | 
         | Someone might decide to call some of those FTX cryptocurrency
         | scammers Weird Nerds, but you could also just call them
         | overprivileged brats with consequently warped worldviews.
        
         | Aurornis wrote:
         | The author sidesteps the problem entirely by picking the most
         | idealistic Weird Nerd possible: A person who is indisputably
         | talented, accomplished, perseverant, and even benevolently
         | forgives those who wronged her in the past.
         | 
         | In the real world, the "Weird Nerd" rarely checks all of these
         | boxes, let alone most of them. I bet a lot of people will read
         | this and identify as the Weird Nerd despite checking none of
         | the boxes. That's the nature of articles that leave out the
         | nuance and instead give us the most idealized view of a noble
         | scientist who was a victim of the system. It leaves an opening
         | for everyone to feel like they were a victim of the system.
         | 
         | That's why this problem is far more complicated than articles
         | like this would lead you to believe. Many of the "Weird Nerd"
         | people out there aren't perfect scientists or engineers
         | unfairly shunned by the system. Many of them have real flaws of
         | varying degrees that would require a lot of guidance and
         | mentoring even within a perfect system. And it's not easy! In
         | fact, it can be very taxing on teams to work around the quirks
         | of your average (non Noble Prize winning, like this article)
         | Weird Nerd even if they can produce good output, which is why
         | so many companies select for Boring Nerds instead.
        
         | bjornsing wrote:
         | > I've had to answer to a Weird Nerd when I was starting out in
         | my field, it was the worst fucking experience of my life, and
         | I've spent the years since warning people away from that
         | person, their career and their contributions to their field
         | have stagnated due to all the people like me that they burned.
         | 
         | And in what way is Katalin Kariko responsible for your
         | mistreatment? I doubt you would have said something similar
         | about a black or gay former manager, attributing your
         | mistreatment to their race or sexual orientation. But for some
         | reason it's perfectly acceptable to attribute it to a Weird
         | Nerd personality.
        
       | pavel_lishin wrote:
       | Everyone get your bucket ready, I'm going to throw an anecdote
       | into it.
       | 
       | I play D&D. This exposes me to a wide variety of people, but
       | unsurprisingly, a lot of them are probably what the author would
       | consider Weird Nerds.
       | 
       | Most of them are perfectly pleasant people, and I look forward to
       | spending time in their company, both in the context of playing
       | D&D, and just as a way to socialize. Heck, at my last session, a
       | player proposed doing a regular board game night, and I am _very_
       | excited to do this with those people.
       | 
       | But. Occasionally, you meet someone who is just fucking
       | unpleasant to be around. Maybe they're on the spectrum (as the
       | author really wants to lump all Weird Nerds on the far end of),
       | maybe they're just poorly socialized, maybe they're just
       | assholes. And unless they're just awful people [more on this
       | later], you learn to put up with their idiosyncracies - because
       | in the end, they're pretty good at playing D&D, and it's fun to
       | slay a dragon or solve the mystery of the mermaid pond, or
       | finally get revenge on your vampire stepfather from hell or
       | whatever. But those people? They're not coming to board game
       | night, and they're not fucking coming to any of my BBQs. They're
       | ok in the context of playing D&D for three hours, but I'm not
       | willing to spend more time with them.
       | 
       | I think that's another reason why some Weird Nerds who are
       | unpleasant to be around have found a safe haven on the internet,
       | as the author puts it: because while they're still unpleasant,
       | you can read their unpleasant words and then walk away for
       | awhile. They're not standing in front of you, demanding your time
       | face to face. If someone is the world's expert on a thing you're
       | collaborating on online, it doesn't matter if you groan every
       | time you have to talk to them, because your time with them is
       | largely limited, and you can walk away at literally any point
       | during the interaction and regain the will to live and spend more
       | time with them.
       | 
       | I'm not sure what my point is. Maybe that it's kind of ok to not
       | want to be around people who are unpleasant to be around, and
       | that despite that, it's also ok for them to still meaningfully
       | participate in the things that matter to them.
       | 
       | [About the awful people in D&D: it's a game, and it's made to be
       | fun. Not every table is made for every player, and vice versa. If
       | you're in a game, and someone is truly ruining the game for the
       | other players by being a generally unpleasant person, I am
       | begging you to just fucking stop playing with them. Life is
       | short, don't surround yourself with assholes. I promise you can
       | find more players. And if you're the one being asked to leave a
       | D&D table because other people find your unpleasant, reflect on
       | your actions. Maybe you're just at a table that's a bad fit for
       | you. Or maybe you're an asshole.]
       | 
       | (If I currently play D&D with you, rest assured that I am not
       | talking about you; all the examples are from past games.)
        
         | doublerabbit wrote:
         | I ask, if that person is truly unpleasant have you spoken to
         | them about how unpleasant they are?
         | 
         | Not to defend but how is someone to recognise a fault of their
         | own if they're not called upon? Unless its truly terrible and
         | they know they are doing it on purpose.
         | 
         | The issue we live in nowadays we are all scared how to tell
         | each other how we feel towards and that we now safe harbour
         | them by throwing them a label and approving that to a degree.
         | 
         | I'm direct and blunt, if someone is doing something in a group
         | I call them out of it; I expect folk to do the same for me.
         | 
         | I may be offended but you should be offended, there's no harm
         | in that.
         | 
         | Granted it's a double edged sword. You tell them; they preach
         | to their safe haven and breathe the toxic fumes of their peers.
         | Or they actually recognise it.
        
           | pavel_lishin wrote:
           | Sometimes, yes, we talk to them.
           | 
           | But I'm a DM, not their therapist or their dad - I'm not
           | obligated to hand-hold someone through a radical
           | restructuring of their personality.
           | 
           | And, it might not surprise you to find out, some people react
           | _very badly_ to being criticized. And I 'm not particularly
           | interested in having an argument over my subjective opinion
           | of a person. _I just don 't want to be around them anymore._
        
             | doublerabbit wrote:
             | I suppose, and that's fair enough. I just tend to trial
             | their behaviour.
             | 
             | "No that's not alright, cut the crap otherwise your out of
             | here"
             | 
             | Why play with them and not just cut them out completely? By
             | keeping them in group your only enforcing their
             | unpleasantness.
        
               | pavel_lishin wrote:
               | > _Why play with them and not just cut them out
               | completely? By keeping them in group your only enforcing
               | their unpleasantness._
               | 
               | The people who actually ruin the game and make it not fun
               | to play, we do cut them out.
               | 
               | But other people, well - I guess the threshold for
               | playing a cooperative game with someone is different than
               | the threshold for inviting them to a party at my house.
               | Plus, at D&D, they spend a lot of their time inside a
               | character who may be more interesting and pleasant than
               | the person rolling the dice.
        
             | kstenerud wrote:
             | > But I'm a DM, not their therapist or their dad - I'm not
             | obligated to hand-hold someone through a radical
             | restructuring of their personality.
             | 
             | Therein lies the crux of the issue. Everyone agrees that
             | this person needs help, but also agrees that they shouldn't
             | feel obligated to provide it.
             | 
             | And so they continue on, blissfully unaware of the chafing
             | they cause. Life goes on, and their contribution remains
             | minimal.
        
               | fragmede wrote:
               | Am I my brothers keeper? Culturally, we've just bought
               | into the notion that I'm not your therapist, so as to
               | absolve myself of the responsibility of fixing broken
               | people. But if I don't do it, who will? so I take care of
               | myself first, so that I'm sable to take care of others,
               | but when I encounter broken people, I still try to fix
               | them (as if people are devices like microwave ovens that
               | need fixing) , because we all have to live in a society
               | and hurt people hurt people, so don't over extend
               | yourself, but also do the work that's staring you in the
               | face.
        
           | idiotsecant wrote:
           | I think we both know the kind of That Guy we're talking about
           | and a conversation isn't going to change things.
        
             | doublerabbit wrote:
             | Okay, moot. But in that case why keep them active in group?
             | Why tolerate it in the first place.
             | 
             | Maybe I'm just to compassionate.
        
               | orwin wrote:
               | Not gp, but because they aren't so unpleasant they're
               | intolerable. But i definitely know one person i won't
               | play a game with once my current campaign is over, and
               | another i won't have as a player, ever. For two different
               | reasons. The first might overall be a nice player to have
               | if you manage to canalise him, he play his character well
               | as long as the NPC he interact with isn't a female, then
               | he becomes incredibly weird. I thought he was playing
               | that part too, but since we have a female player at the
               | table it became painfully obvious its not (and it became
               | worse, weirdly). The second one is actually pleasant to
               | be around most of the time, just very tiring. I had a
               | player with the same energy level before and it's
               | exhausting. I'd love having her as a DM however.
        
               | pavel_lishin wrote:
               | I would suggest you check out some of the things on
               | reddit's rpghorrorstories subreddit.
               | 
               | Of course, we're only seeing one side of a narrative, and
               | the stories are obviously written for an audience that
               | expects something - but it can be rather enlightening at
               | _just how bad_ some people can be, and _just how much_
               | some other people can put up with.
        
               | doublerabbit wrote:
               | I've had my fair share. I know the stories. In the end I
               | just started not tolerating the bull and told them go
               | away.
               | 
               | As I said, I trial them out if they can't obey the first
               | warning than out they go.
        
           | wumbo wrote:
           | If it's their general emotional candor, I don't think it's
           | worth wondering if they are self aware.
           | 
           | Not your emotions, not your circus.
        
           | numpad0 wrote:
           | Normies don't require feedbacks to be verbally and explicitly
           | delivered most of the time. It's the last resort path.
           | Constantly delivering and being delivered clear and blunt
           | express feedback is not normal. It's "sad"-"agitated" state
           | if you ask them
           | 
           | It might be true that allowing minute variances between
           | normie nonverbal feedback gatherer people to be a factor to
           | their successes has its own problems, but encouraging
           | everyone to drop that BS and just be offensive and blunt to
           | make things simple is at least not a widely supported
           | solution.
           | 
           | So be nice... it sometimes gets complicated to be just a nice
           | and happy person, but you actually don't have to be a
           | fearless warrior at all times.
        
         | nurple wrote:
         | I had a "friend" like you once. We got along well, he would
         | excitedly dive deep with me in tech because he wanted to learn
         | programming, and I would excitedly dive deep with him into
         | creating coffee and beer because I find the stricture in
         | creation leading to creativity endlessly interesting.
         | 
         | However, whenever he'd have his "cool" friends over for parties
         | I wouldn't get an invite, in fact never met any of his other
         | acquaintances. He explained to me once that he likes to keep
         | his different social lives separate, and I was apparently the
         | only one in his "tech" social circle.
         | 
         | That made me feel like shit, and reinforced my self-view as
         | failing to be a normal human.
         | 
         | This is a theme that's continued with multiple "friends"
         | throughout my life, to the point where I eventually just gave
         | up trying, gave up giving of myself to others to simply be
         | siloed or discarded once they got what they wanted from me. I
         | got tired of the lack of reciprocation in giving me a chance to
         | be a part of their actual life even though they were apparently
         | getting enough from me that they were willing to keep me around
         | when it suited their needs.
         | 
         | I hope some day you gain some compassion and can see that
         | people who are different than you are still people, and that
         | treating them as lesser except when you can get something from
         | them (like an interesting dnd game) is a huge part of the
         | problem in these types of people retreating even more from the
         | social and emotional norms.
         | 
         | At this point, why in the hell do you think I would even _want_
         | to be willful part of the society you inhabit, that treats
         | other humans as you do?
        
           | pavel_lishin wrote:
           | I don't know you, and you don't know me. I won't hypothesize
           | about your situation - though based on what you've written,
           | you're right, and it was an objectively terrible experience
           | for you, and I'm sorry you had to go through it..
           | 
           | But please don't equate me with someone who treated you
           | badly, based on five paragraphs I banged out this afternoon.
           | 
           | Just because I don't want to invite a casual acquaintance who
           | regularly says things I find _vile_ to my house, doesn 't
           | make me an incompassionate villain.
        
       | lainga wrote:
       | > I still stand by my association of Weird Nerds with autism, but
       | for some reason people really do not like to call Weird Nerds
       | autistic.
       | 
       | I'm sorry, _what_ , even if they're preponderant you can't just
       | call all of them that any more than you can collectively call all
       | basketball players "Marfan Syndrome havers"
        
         | idiotsecant wrote:
         | Tell me honestly that most weird nerds are not on the spectrum
         | and I might be able to work up enough energy to clutch my
         | pearls at this.
         | 
         | I say this as a weird nerd who is definitely on the spectrum,
         | like I suspect many HN readers are.
        
           | lainga wrote:
           | Allow me a bit of poetic license with the original statement
           | and maybe it will explain my objection better.
           | 
           | > but for some reason people really do not like to call
           | marathon winners "Kenyans".
           | 
           | Why might other marathon runners not like being lumped in
           | with that country, given its incredible winningness at long-
           | distance racing?
        
           | lawn wrote:
           | Maybe many and even most are on the spectrum, but not all
           | are.
           | 
           | And even then, its a _spectrum_ meaning every person has a
           | their own unique mix of, lets just call them quirks.
           | 
           | Meaning they (and you) are more than a single word like
           | "autism". In fact in Sweden we've moved away from the
           | "autistic diagnosis" because it's too simplistic. It's
           | dangerous to be too caught up in "being autistic" that we
           | hinder ourselves and others when we can do more.
           | 
           | Signed, a dad with autistic tendencies and a 4-year old child
           | with may quirks that already give us quite a lot of
           | challenges.
        
           | sureglymop wrote:
           | I am on the spectrum but I definitely know nerds (although
           | not necessarily weird nerds) who are insanely good
           | programmers/computer scientists (and do have that as their
           | hyper specialized interest) who are not on the spectrum.
           | 
           | But the thing is, it's a spectrum.. Personally I do find it a
           | little ridiculous because the biggest parts of autism have
           | absolutely nothing to do with my work/interests but with
           | social life, sensory issues, etc. And it's definitely more a
           | struggle than a superpower (at least to me).
        
         | 65 wrote:
         | Yeah, this is a dumb insinuation.
         | 
         | The author is conflating people who are motivated internally by
         | making great contributions to society with autism. Many of the
         | best artists and scientists aren't autistic, and perhaps are
         | quite the opposite: deeply emotional and socially aware. I'd
         | argue you need a deep understanding of social value to even
         | want to make a great contribution to society.
         | 
         | Also, it's not like people with autism are automatically
         | geniuses. Anecdotally I've found autism to not really
         | contribute to original and innovative thinking, more with
         | excessive fixation on a subject. There is a difference.
        
           | faeriechangling wrote:
           | >I'd argue you need a deep understanding of social value to
           | even want to make a great contribution to society.
           | 
           | Autistics only nessecarily misunderstand social value in a
           | superficial way. They are frequently compensating for a sort
           | of "social blindness" with unusual strengths like pattern
           | recognition to get insights into social situations in a more
           | detached way through a different lens.
           | 
           | People also can be on a team with somebody who has a deep
           | understanding of social value who doesn't have it themselves.
           | Jobs/Woz comes to mind.
        
           | ModernMech wrote:
           | It seems like you're saying autistic people are not deeply
           | emotional or socially aware, or capable of understanding
           | social value. This is not what autism is -- it's a
           | developmental disability that leads to impairment in social
           | situations, not an inability to understand society and
           | emotions.
        
         | analog31 wrote:
         | I qualify as a weird nerd, and I'm definitely not autistic.
         | 
         | I don't like to call anybody autistic because it invites
         | paternalism or even outright discrimination. I even object to
         | using much milder labels such as "introvert."
        
       | at_a_remove wrote:
       | I've witnessed more than a little of this. I worked in a
       | university, in a library (though not as a librarian), and
       | realized that everyone at a certain level or above in
       | administration Came From Money. While "has a house in another
       | country" is not subtle, "father was on an Everest expedition" is.
       | Once I began noticing this soft ceiling I could not help but see
       | it everywhere in the university. Meritoriousness was not on the
       | menu and it took me entirely too long to "get" that I was locked
       | out of promotion and that it was just a way to keep me dancing
       | like a little dog standing up for a treat.
       | 
       | The "bundle of tradeoffs," which is a more humane and human way
       | of thinking, is at odds with the "cog in the machine" approach
       | which began with interchangeable machined parts and progressed on
       | to the human element. Being replaceable then becomes a prized
       | characteristic. Indeed, one of the administrative staff suggested
       | that anyone who seemed like they were too valuable to replace
       | ought to be let go on those grounds alone. It's a recipe for a
       | kind of predictable mediocrity.
       | 
       | Business _loves_ predictable mediocrity, and we see it in various
       | forms of intellectual property. Why sell a copy of Office for
       | unlimited use when you can charge monthly and predict out your
       | next few quarters? Own a movie? No, rent. And as academic
       | institutions continue their transformation into administratively
       | bloated credential assembly lines, we will see more business-y
       | strategies worm their way in.
        
         | neilv wrote:
         | > _and realized that everyone at a certain level or above in
         | administration Came From Money_
         | 
         | There's a lot of that. And in academia in general.
         | 
         | Many/most are decent people. But even those often haven't been
         | exposed to the ordinary life experience of the majority people
         | from their country. And that often seems to affect how they
         | think about themselves and the world.
         | 
         | Also, there's often implicit self-promotion and self-interest
         | behavior. Which they might think is normal, since it's in their
         | upbringing, and in the circles they now travel in. But it's not
         | necessarily normal to the masses of their countries (which I'd
         | expect to tend towards more cooperative and egalitarian in some
         | ways).
        
       | makeitdouble wrote:
       | I didn't fully understand what the author meant by "Weird Nerd",
       | and this bit was the key for me:
       | 
       | > Weird Nerds (I called them autistics, but people really hated
       | that)
       | 
       | And I totally get why they're trying to come up with a word that
       | markets better, and yes many people react negatively to "autist"
       | or calling someone "on the spectrum".
       | 
       | At the same time, man prominent people are making public their
       | diagnostics and assert being on the autism spectrum, and I wonder
       | if it becomes a disservice to them to not use the term when
       | appropriate, precisely because of how it's perceived now.
        
         | meesles wrote:
         | I think you're circling some valid points, but realistically I
         | don't think this happens in the current climate. There's a
         | couple of forces at play - a) it's a medical issue that people
         | are really passionate about b) there's an ironic (or not, at
         | times) subculture of calling oneself 'autistic' when it's just
         | exhibiting an interest and c) there's still no 100% accurate
         | test, not everyone will want to out themselves, etc. So the
         | shroud of mystery + confusion persists for the vast majority
         | outside of those that advocate and speak out.
         | 
         | I think it's a good thing to come up with some other term to
         | refer to these extrinsically motivated nerds that don't really
         | care for typical social constructs but bring immense value to a
         | bunch of types of work. That way whether they identify or are
         | diagnosed as autistic isn't necessarily the important piece,
         | more the result of their person.
        
         | slillibri wrote:
         | I react negatively to "autist" because it's not a good
         | description. "ist" is usually used for something people do, or
         | more to the point something they choose to do, see cyclist,
         | artist, etc.
         | 
         | Also, "on the spectrum" is used today much like "depression"
         | was used in the '90s. It's a catch all excuse used at the
         | expense of people actually suffering the disorder. Much like
         | sometimes you are just sad, I would wager many people who claim
         | to be "on the spectrum" are just assholes.
        
           | makeitdouble wrote:
           | I'd argue assholes would merit the same attention as the
           | people on the spectrum, but it might be another discussion.
           | 
           | > something they choose to do
           | 
           | Point taken, but then switching that for "weird" doesn't feel
           | like helping, it's still a pejorative and not really focused
           | description.
           | 
           | > people actually suffering the disorder
           | 
           | An issue I'd take with that is the effect to which it's
           | penalizing depends a lot on the environment and what the
           | person is trying to do. Would two people with the same
           | condition, but one suffering and the other not, need to be
           | identified in two different ways ?
        
           | __MatrixMan__ wrote:
           | This spectrum they speak of, are there labels for its
           | extremes? Other spectra have things like hot/cold,
           | large/small, etc.
           | 
           | Is it the autistic/not-autistic spectrum? Because if so,
           | we're all on it.
        
         | throw46365 wrote:
         | I am pretty certain I am a Weird Nerd.
         | 
         | I have good reasons to consider myself neurodivergent (and
         | others do consider me such). There are definite divergences
         | that have caused me problems. I have what people consider
         | "superpowers" and what people consider "difficulties".
         | 
         | Not certain I am autistic. Might have been considered mild or
         | (the then-termed) "high functioning" as a kid in the 80s.
         | 
         | But on the other hand, I don't think it's necessarily wrong to
         | put me in the same broad category as autistic people, because I
         | have the same issues in the context of the article -- with
         | being conventionally "ambitionless", having relatively little
         | grasp of (or instinct for) power games etc., and needing the
         | kind of support that others often do.
         | 
         | That category needs a name. (In the UK we'd traditionally go
         | for "boffin", which is broadly a term of affection, but it's a
         | little harder to spot a boffin these days because of casual
         | clothing at the office)
        
       | idiotsecant wrote:
       | The path of the weird nerd has never been easy. Humans are
       | inherently social animals and when you don't fully fit that mold
       | you will, by definition, exist somewhat on the perimeter of
       | society, no matter how valuable your skills.
       | 
       | The best thing for a Weird Nerd to do is to find a trustworthy
       | 'patron' who can appreciate that it benefits them to handle the
       | messy human stuff and let the Weird Nerd do the nerd work. The
       | problem is that Weird Nerds are often terrible at figuring out
       | who is trustworthy and a good fit for a symbiotic relationship
       | like this.
        
       | Michelangelo11 wrote:
       | I do think it's a major issue that academia is increasingly
       | bureaucratic and corporate, but I don't quite agree with the
       | article. It's not that very smart, truth-motivated people have
       | bad people skills (e.g., off the top of my head - von Neumann,
       | Feynman, and Newton were all pretty good with people when they
       | needed to be), it's that they are motivated largely by discovery
       | and not by status and money. But academia today is essentially a
       | machine for amassing status and money at the expense of creating
       | genuine new knowledge, which drives away those who want to create
       | knowledge.
        
         | FormerBandmate wrote:
         | Academia pays absolutely terribly for an elite job, it's all
         | status. You could make more than 90% of tenured professors as a
         | manager of Buc-ee's
        
           | Michelangelo11 wrote:
           | Yes, good point, thanks. I was thinking of the high end of
           | disciplines with strong ties to industry, mainly STEM and
           | business, but that's actually just a very small, although
           | prominent, part of academia.
        
             | ghaff wrote:
             | The very high end of academia--especially in areas where
             | consulting gigs are readily available--is pretty nice from
             | what I've seen. But, as you say, it's pretty rare and still
             | probably not that lucrative overall especially if you're in
             | some expensive living area.
        
           | dukeyukey wrote:
           | "Earning" doesn't necessarily come with a truly elite status
           | job, because you're not relying on a salary to live. Having
           | to live off a salary is lower status.
        
             | Loughla wrote:
             | I don't understand what you're saying here.
        
               | dukeyukey wrote:
               | The comment above mine said "Academia pays absolutely
               | terribly for an elite job". But earning doesn't really
               | come into a truly elite (status-wise) job, because the
               | person doing it doesn't need to earn to live.
        
               | wdh505 wrote:
               | If my daddy makes 7 digits per year and set me up in a
               | trust then I don't have to work to live upper middle
               | class. Therefore an "elite" aka prestige only position
               | that pays pennies may be more elite because i don't
               | depend on the pay like the plebians.
               | 
               | A different way to become a low paying professor is to
               | research and earn 7digits+ from patents
        
               | npilk wrote:
               | I'm not disputing your point about prestige, and I'm sure
               | that people whose 'daddies make 7 digits per year' would
               | be interested in more prestigious roles and less
               | interested in pay. But I really doubt that most
               | professors are trust fund kids who don't have to work.
        
       | swayvil wrote:
       | Speaking as a weird nerd (wn)
       | 
       | A wn is disconnected from society. This gives him the power to
       | think and act independently. The non-wn can't do that.
       | 
       | (And, being disconnected like that, the wn is oblivious to a
       | million social hints and cues. He is blind that way)
       | 
       | It isn't voluntary, being a wn. It's an artifact of habitual,
       | excessive concentration, or something.
       | 
       | The non-wn's state is involuntary too.
       | 
       | Both are products of nature/society/habit/etc. Both trapped in
       | their respective shape.
       | 
       | I suppose some of us are not trapped like that. There might even
       | be a way to escape it. To make that habit-shape into something
       | conscious and voluntary.
        
       | woopwoop wrote:
       | I've met a handful of people who have won at least one of the top
       | prizes in mathematics, i.e. a Fields medal, Abel prize, or Wolf
       | Prize. I would describe none of them as "weird nerds", and I
       | don't think any of them are autistic. I chafe pretty hard at the
       | suggestion here that one has to be socially ill-adjusted to
       | advance scientific knowledge at the highest level.
        
         | megadal wrote:
         | That's not the suggestion though. It's that a lot of high
         | performers in STEM tend to be "Weird Nerds" and by selecting
         | against that type, you alienate a large number of potentially
         | great researchers.
         | 
         | Not selecting against weird nerds doesn't mean selecting
         | against "socially well-adjusted Nerds".
         | 
         | In fact, the article says that a person can in fact be
         | exceptional at politic and science, despite their tenets being
         | antithetical in many cases.
        
           | woopwoop wrote:
           | It says there is a "strong anti-correlation" between being a
           | weird nerd and being pleasant to be around socially. This may
           | be true, but it is not my experience that there is a strong
           | anti-correlation between being an exceptional mathematician
           | and being pleasant to be around socially. Despite the
           | stereotype, in my experience the best mathematicians are not
           | the ones who stare at their shoes when you talk to them.
        
             | megadal wrote:
             | From the article:
             | 
             | > There is a strong anti-correlation between these
             | interests ( _that of course does not mean there is no one
             | who is good at both._ )
        
         | paulcole wrote:
         | > I chafe pretty hard at the suggestion here that one has to be
         | socially ill-adjusted to advance scientific knowledge at the
         | highest level.
         | 
         | This is very similar to the idea of the tortured artist or that
         | to be a great comedian you have to be depressed.
         | 
         | The happy and well adjusted comedian or socially adept
         | mathematician doesn't make for an interesting story -- it just
         | doesn't fit the popular narrative and so it gets ignored.
         | 
         | In every discipline there are total weirdos and normal people
         | at every step of the way, from terribly inept to amazingly
         | world-class.
        
         | charlieyu1 wrote:
         | And that's the problem. How many weird nerds were driven out
         | because they aren't playing the academia game well?
        
       | godelski wrote:
       | At the root of it is a lot of "yes man" behavior, and I don't
       | think it's just academia. But I think academia has a stronger
       | history and stereotype of allowing people to be weird.
       | 
       | It's essentially the bureaucrats taking over. Putting metrics on
       | things that can't be measured well and treating those as if
       | they're the answer. Saying "good enough" or "something is better
       | than nothing" when they don't apply. Because it's easier to deal
       | with that than the chaos and uncertainty of innovation.
       | 
       | I think this is also something silicon valley lost. We definitely
       | stopped dreaming. Stopped building the future we wanted and
       | instead just started doing work. There's been a lot of
       | stagnation. It's not just about making things smaller
        
       | neilv wrote:
       | > _Weird Nerds (I called them autistics, but people really hated
       | that^2) [...] But it's also hard to believe someone like her
       | could ever become the most pleasant interlocutor at a dinner
       | party, or the most socially adept and organized manager._
       | 
       | The part about "organized manager" is surprising. If we're going
       | to stereotypes, I would've guessed that a manager who was
       | autistic would likely have being organized as one of their
       | strengths.
       | 
       | Regarding "socially adept [...] manager", I've worked with two
       | software engineering project managers who were autistic. They
       | were both very different (one amiable, and had much better than
       | average understanding of human behavior and emotions; the other
       | came off as making an effort to tolerate people). Both were not
       | only well-respected, but liked, and were effective at difficult
       | work&people-herding jobs.
       | 
       | Even with the manager who came off as not really liking anyone by
       | default, and even on a very difficult project, almost everyone on
       | large teams respected the project manager (excepting one person,
       | who couldn't stand something about the project manager, or the
       | nature of the project). And I didn't hear the grumbling like I'd
       | normally hear about a manager who was unfair, incompetent, or
       | dishonest.
        
       | bee_rider wrote:
       | Academia is just messed up because the path to the top is to
       | become an absolute expert in some topic, (PhD, postgrad), then
       | become a performer/people manager/grant writer/office politics
       | master (professor). It is really dumb. You are rolling the dice
       | twice for expert level skills, and the second roll comes after
       | huge personal investment.
       | 
       | Not really sure what the solution is. Maybe a huge increase in
       | the number of national labs, as a vent for those who hit the
       | first roll but fail the second.
       | 
       | We also need a vent for people who are good at teaching but not
       | super focused on research. Drastically increase the community
       | college system, IMO, and start paying the instructors enough to
       | have nice middle-class lifestyles. Stop making people-people and
       | weird nerds compete for rare grants and let them both do the
       | things they are better at.
        
         | pyrale wrote:
         | The alternative would be that public
         | performance/management/grant writing/office politics are
         | handled by someone who has absolutely no clue about what
         | science is.
         | 
         | It doesn't take very long to find corporate examples of this
         | alternative, and why it's not great either.
        
       | Khelavaster wrote:
       | Introduce struggle sessions for supervisors of scientists like
       | her. Clear the cruft quickly. Careerist ciminals have no place
       | running research labs.
        
         | monitorlizard wrote:
         | Could you expand more on your struggle session idea? I'm aware
         | of the analogy to Mao's China but I'm curious how you'd see it
         | playing out in this setting.
        
       | mberning wrote:
       | There is a similar parallel in the corporate world. Being
       | involved with tech and software has never had less to do with
       | actually being good at those things. I just remarked to my
       | director the other day that the only innovation we have had in
       | the org in the last 5 years was relentless self promotion,
       | marketing, and branding. When did being known as an excellent and
       | reliable engineer stop being "enough".
        
         | paulcole wrote:
         | > I just remarked to my director the other day that the only
         | innovation we have had in the org in the last 5 years was
         | relentless self promotion, marketing, and branding.
         | 
         | What was your director's response?
         | 
         | Do you think there's any chance you're biased and blind to
         | other innovations because you really dislike self-promotion,
         | marketing, and branding?
        
           | mberning wrote:
           | They agreed, but we have a similar viewpoint on the overall
           | technical excellence of the org, so that part is
           | unsurprising.
           | 
           | I am definitely biased, but whether I am blinded to real
           | innovation or progress is something I think about all the
           | time.
           | 
           | I think I would not be opposed to the self-promotion,
           | marketing, and branding were it in support of some
           | significant achievement or accomplishment. Unfortunately we
           | have a culture that seems to think showering and getting
           | dressed in the morning is a noteworthy event.
           | 
           | To use a more concrete example, I ran a project to upgrade a
           | significant piece of software in our environment that had
           | been neglected for some time. The project went well and I
           | moved on to more interesting work. I had multiple people tell
           | me that we should promote it, give talks about how it was
           | done, pound our chest about how hard of a project it was,
           | etc. I refused. In my mind it was a normal upgrade of a
           | system we were responsible for and frankly was disgraceful
           | that it was in such a bad state of deferred maintenance.
           | There was no way I would be comfortable "taking credit" for
           | doing what should have been done years ago.
           | 
           | Fast forward a few years and another team responsible for
           | doing a similar project is giving multiple presentations all
           | around the org and all the way up to the 2nd in command of
           | the company. I'm like wow, maybe we should have taken the
           | opportunity when we had it to pretend like we are superheroes
           | for doing the bare minimum of our job and not having a vendor
           | drop our support contract.
        
             | paulcole wrote:
             | It's obviously not the bare minimum of the job because like
             | you said nobody did it for years. So the bare minimum is
             | just not doing it.
             | 
             | You think you'll change from this experience or just keep
             | doing stuff the way you like to do it?
        
       | zafka wrote:
       | I really like this new term! I was working R&D / Development at
       | J&J for about 14 years. I was one of the early members of a group
       | called: "Mental Health Diplomats" When I first got involved, and
       | over the years, I would try to pitch ideas to set up a
       | system/program for neurodivergants who were under utilized.
       | 
       | In retrospect, it is pretty hard for a weird nerd to gain
       | traction with any ideas other than obviously profitable products.
       | Strategic thinking needs to be done by the MBA's /s
        
       | yedava wrote:
       | I want to say this article describes me, but then I realized that
       | it's just my confirmation bias. Who doesn't like to think that
       | they are the smartest ones around and it's everyone else who is
       | stupid and clueless?
       | 
       | Science ultimately is a collective effort. The collaboration
       | doesn't need to happen in real time, in the same physical place.
       | Ideas can be spread out across time and geographies and finally
       | one person puts them together and given our bias for hero
       | worship, we call that one person a genius and go on a wild goose
       | chase of how can we create more geniuses instead of asking how
       | can we foster a environment for ideas, an environment which
       | sometimes needs to last for decades in order to bear fruit.
        
       | gavinhoward wrote:
       | As a Weird Nerd who can't get a job in the industry [1], this
       | resonates.
       | 
       | On one hand, I understand that I can't get a job because of my
       | own flaws. After all, who needs a solo-only C-only [2] programmer
       | who can't build theory of mind and thus, can't read code written
       | by others and who refuses to prioritize employer over user?
       | 
       | On the other hand, it is hard, and I secretly hope the industry
       | can change so that people like me can have a place.
       | 
       | Edit: To clarify, I don't think I am a Genius, just a Weird Nerd
       | in the sense that I do not like politicking. However, I am trying
       | to learn from my empath wife how to do it because yes, it is a
       | necessary evil right now.
       | 
       | [1]: https://gavinhoward.com/2024/06/my-programming-journey/
       | 
       | [2]: https://gavinhoward.com/2023/02/why-i-use-c-when-i-
       | believe-i...
        
         | meiraleal wrote:
         | People like you have a lot of places to shine nowadays. Having
         | a job/boss isn't the right way for many (much less a given).
        
           | gavinhoward wrote:
           | Thank you.
           | 
           | I have also tried to start my own business, but that is not
           | going well.
        
         | wyldfire wrote:
         | > On the other hand, it is hard, and I secretly hope the
         | industry can change so that people like me can have a place.
         | 
         | In some ways, things are better than ever for folks like you.
         | Starting and running a one-person business making software is
         | feasible now but would've been much harder in decades past.
         | 
         | > Second, I work alone on code that is entirely in my head. ...
         | Rust is great for teams ...
         | 
         | Unfortunately, industry has problems that are big enough that
         | they're not easily solved with one person. So tools that work
         | to bring about a team's success will be valuable. As will
         | individuals who work well in teams.
        
           | gavinhoward wrote:
           | > In some ways, things are better than ever for folks like
           | you. Starting and running a one-person business making
           | software is feasible now but would've been much harder in
           | decades past.
           | 
           | Yes, you are absolutely right.
           | 
           | Unfortunately, I have been trying that and failing. I don't
           | blame anyone for that either.
           | 
           | > Unfortunately, industry has problems that are big enough
           | that they're not easily solved with one person. So tools that
           | work to bring about a team's success will be valuable. As
           | will individuals who work well in teams.
           | 
           | You are absolutely correct. And yes, that is why people
           | shouldn't hire me.
           | 
           | Nevertheless, I think there are some problems that one person
           | _can_ solve.
           | 
           | I want to make the next-gen version control system. I think
           | that may be small enough for one person. Other infrastructure
           | software can be like that too.
        
             | wyldfire wrote:
             | IMO Open Source software communities are where folks like
             | you can really thrive. They're much closer at something
             | like a meritocracy than traditional workplaces.
             | 
             | > I want to make the next-gen version control system
             | 
             | While you certainly could invent one yourself, you could
             | consider contributing to popular ones like git/mercurial.
             | It'd help teach you both the positive and the negative
             | aspects of their design choices. Also you could consider
             | learning from newer approaches like Jujutsu [1] or Pijul
             | [2] on your way to designing the next-gen system. Good
             | luck!
             | 
             | [1] https://github.com/martinvonz/jj
             | 
             | [2] https://pijul.org/
        
       | giantg2 wrote:
       | Not going to lie, I would like to see myself as one of these
       | smart people who was held back by lack of social skills like
       | selling oneself and capitalizing on political situations. I think
       | that's probably unrealistic. However I do sympathize with much of
       | what the article describes. It would be nice if politics and
       | stuff wasn't so important.
        
       | adolph wrote:
       | This skill alone would cause most of the Internet and politics to
       | shut down:
       | 
       |  _being agreeable when you disagree, even when you are 100%
       | certain you are correct_
        
       | doubloon wrote:
       | i would like to see more hard data on this instead of what
       | amounts to a rant. or does that make me a weird nerd?
        
         | prof-dr-ir wrote:
         | There should be word for the fallacy where you conflate a
         | group's average opinion with that of the inevitable subgroup
         | that sends angry tweets about a topic.
        
       | iamwil wrote:
       | As startups become a viable path to status and success, it too
       | gets infiltrated with non-weird nerds.
        
       | renewiltord wrote:
       | This is just Geeks, MOPs, Sociopaths restated. It's the nature of
       | all fields: explorers discover, exploiters scale. But there are
       | explorer mimics and exploiter mimics and they succeed at some
       | rate dependent on the cost of verification.
        
       | andrefuchs wrote:
       | While I agree with the notion of the article, please stop calling
       | gifted, driven, and non-conforming people "weird nerds." Both
       | terms have negative connotations.
        
         | croes wrote:
         | If you replace words with negative connotations with other
         | words, those new words sooner or later get the same
         | connotations.
        
         | doug_durham wrote:
         | The intent is to de-stigmatize the labels. I consider myself a
         | "weird nerd". I find the use of the label affirming. Perhaps
         | ASD or other symptom descriptive way to describing things would
         | be more "correct". However "weird nerd" is what the other parts
         | of society use to describe these terms. Using the term to
         | describe the positive aspects of these symptoms helps to take
         | the sting out.
        
           | programjames wrote:
           | I think "genius" fits the author's meaning and connotation
           | much better than "weird nerd". If the author wants to fight
           | for genius rights, why start from a position of weakness?
        
             | lolinder wrote:
             | Genius would be a much worse term for what the author is
             | describing because it explicitly _doesn 't_ come with
             | trade-offs. The term needs to convey both the unique
             | talents and the odd differences.
             | 
             | "Nerd" has been the subject of a long and largely
             | successful attempt at reclamation, to the point where
             | people younger than a certain age don't generally consider
             | it to be derogatory and comfortably identify with it. It's
             | been so successful that the author feels the need to
             | prepend the word "weird" to clarify that we're not talking
             | about just anyone who likes video games.
        
               | programjames wrote:
               | Younger than what age? I think every age still generally
               | considers "nerd" derogatory. Also, I think a genius would
               | tell you the trade-offs only exist because most people
               | are wrong. Calling them weird has the connotation that
               | something is "wrong" with them, yet it seems quite the
               | opposite is true. I could agree with the term "outlier"
               | but not "weird".
        
               | lolinder wrote:
               | The trend towards embracing it was already starting when
               | I was a kid in the late 00's and early 10's, but it
               | really picked up with the class of ~2016. The rise of the
               | computer programmer as the highest ROI degree in this
               | generation made a huge difference in perception of the
               | word "nerd".
               | 
               | By the time I was helping with a local youth group in
               | 2017 (14 year olds) the very extroverted ringleader of
               | the group was a proud "nerd", by which he meant that he
               | and his friends loved to play video games like Fortnite
               | and had an aversion to sports.
               | 
               | Take a look at the highest voted entries in Urban
               | Dictionary [0]. Obviously this isn't a scientific
               | measurement, but it shows a strong subculture of self-
               | identified nerds who embrace the label to some degree.
               | 
               | Edit: here's another source [1] that you may find more
               | credible, from 2012:
               | 
               | > And the appropriation of the word "nerd" was a "battle
               | that got won", says [Neil] Gaiman. "It's like many terms
               | that were originally intended to offend, the team that
               | was offended took it as its own as a badge of honour.
               | 
               | > "It's part of a cycle, that terms of abuse are turned
               | around - in this case it has been socially turned
               | around."
               | 
               | [0] https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Nerd
               | 
               | [1] https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-20325517
        
             | __MatrixMan__ wrote:
             | Do you think you're setting people up for social success by
             | giving them a reason to say:
             | 
             | > I'm a genius and I'd like you to change your behavior to
             | accommodate my needs.
        
             | tetromino_ wrote:
             | Because 99% of weird nerds are not geniuses. I know that I
             | am a weird nerd, I work surrounded by a significant
             | percentage of weird nerds, but in the past, a couple of
             | times, had the privilege of working with a true genius -
             | and I can say that we weird nerds and the geniuses are as
             | different species. It's like yard birds vs. eagles: both
             | have wings and feathers and lay eggs, but the final product
             | is very different.
        
           | __MatrixMan__ wrote:
           | If we're gonna find a better way to work together we need
           | something neutral so that there's no reason to miscategorize
           | yourself. I definitely prefer "weird nerd," to anything that
           | feels like a diagnosis or like praise.
           | 
           | In education they call this "twice exceptional".
        
       | jchw wrote:
       | > Any system that is not explicitly pro-Weird Nerd will turn
       | anti-Weird Nerd pretty quickly.
       | 
       | Wow. Sure as hell feels that way.
       | 
       | See, I actually feel like this is happening across the Internet,
       | too, in a different way.
       | 
       | Firstly, I'd consider myself _some_ sort of  "Weird Nerd" but
       | certainly not a genius or even especially intelligent; I _would_
       | be willing to indulge in the idea that my contingent and I have
       | some unusual qualities that, while not remarkable, are still
       | somewhat unique and indeed basically a package deal with our
       | "other" traits.
       | 
       | Secondly, while "weird nerds" are prominent on the Internet of
       | today, they're definitely struggling to keep control over their
       | own spaces. Anyone remember forums, and have routine thoughts
       | about how different it is from social media? I think that forums
       | were controlled by weird nerds, and social media is clearly not,
       | it's controlled by people who play the political games better and
       | more often. Weird nerds are forced to try to adhere to the rules
       | of this system, they get increasingly tired of it, burn out and
       | start behaving erratically. I think a lot of people are deeply in
       | denial that this is happening, and some of them may have never
       | even known a world where it wasn't happening, so they find other
       | reasons why.
       | 
       | Being driven by truth and put off by bullshit is something that I
       | think is very core to a lot of people who are currently
       | struggling to find anywhere to fit in. No matter how much time
       | passes, it will never feel "right". It feels like people can only
       | ever be their true and honest selves in small quantities, in
       | closed groups, being careful with who to trust.
       | 
       | Note that this person seems to be somewhat convinced that the
       | Internet is the best place for weird nerds, but also note that
       | the critique they are talking about happened on X, one of the
       | largest and most influential social websites on the Internet. I
       | think this should speak volumes to how much weird nerds are not
       | in control of the "rules" and narratives of the Internet right
       | now. I'm not sure what the authors thoughts are on this (and I'm
       | sure it's detailed in other posts if I wanted to know) but I
       | think this is a huge battleground. It's a bit hard to see it
       | because it's obfuscated by the broader "culture war" of the
       | Internet, which makes it appear as if the "fight" is between two
       | hyper-partisan groups that have completely opposite views. I
       | think that's neither the cause nor the reality of why the
       | Internet is full of so much strife; I think those hyper-partisan
       | spats formed around more interesting and nuanced conflicts and
       | overshadowed them. I hope that some day there will be a moment of
       | clarity where everything starts to make sense...
        
         | nurple wrote:
         | Agreed. Having been part of the internet since its genesis,
         | every day I mourn the loss of the critical mass of the weird
         | and curious that pervaded it. I absolutely abhor the exploiters
         | that came from behind and effected a nerd diaspora to simply
         | transformed it into the same manipulative, self-congratulating
         | trash hole that is so widely lauded as "normal".
         | 
         | I lost my job in a layoff over 6 months ago and really
         | struggled to find something in the state that tech has been in
         | since zirp and section 174 went away.
         | 
         | If there's any positive I see from all of this is that there
         | are a lot of weird nerds out there feeling unmoored,
         | unmotivated, and are looking for somewhere to fit in and do the
         | greatest work of their career. I think that someone(s) with
         | resources who creates such a nerd commune will create something
         | truly special, something that transcends the "normal", giving
         | these misfits something that they fully own, drive, but still
         | share with the same world that looks down on them as
         | "divergent". I have never met a more passionate or selfless
         | group of people.
         | 
         | I think Steve Jobs was an example of this type of nerd
         | whisperer. He knew what drove the people that actually create
         | things in this world, and he gave them a powerful outlet to
         | show their value. I think he deeply felt and meant what they
         | were selling at the time: "the people who are crazy enough to
         | think they can change the world, are the ones who do".
         | 
         | https://invidious.privacydev.net/watch?v=VCz_SiPD_X0
        
         | mattgreenrocks wrote:
         | A case study in this:
         | 
         | "Normal person," 2002: "you use the Internet? How weird and
         | anti-social!"
         | 
         | Same person, 2012: _addicted to Internet in public, oblivious
         | to people around them_
         | 
         | Interesting how the social acceptability changed so drastically
         | in ten years time. It's almost as if it is completely arbitrary
         | and based on political (e.g. relative) observations. And not a
         | hint of incongruity is felt between the former and latter
         | opinions.
        
       | akozak wrote:
       | I have a lot of experience working with the weird nerd archetype
       | and watching them navigate large orgs.
       | 
       | First it's absolutely true that orgs that purport to support
       | weird nerds will revert back to rewarding politicians. I've seen
       | it happen, and typically has to do with who is doling out money.
       | 
       | However, in my experience the vast majority of brilliant nerds
       | way overextend themselves, and are much too confident outside
       | their domain. They're also much more likely to be jerks and will
       | tumble from conflict to conflict until they get their way by
       | attrition or status. Conflicts are strangely more personal
       | because so much ego is tied up into it. They're more likely to
       | assume they're right in every (non-tech/science related)
       | situation.
       | 
       | My advice to weird nerds (assuming emotional intelligence isn't
       | an innate skill) is: Find a way to turn your brainpower onto this
       | challenge as equally important as your core interest. Treat
       | interacting with your institution like a long term engineering
       | project or investigation. Think long term and be strategic,
       | create and track longer term plans, try to learn what people
       | respond to, what works and what doesn't. Always try to be kind
       | and maintain some humility, but assuming you aren't sure what
       | that really means, then ask for lots of feedback. Or you can just
       | find someone you trust and delegate all of this to them, like a
       | technical founder hiring a CEO.
       | 
       | (Edit: relatedly, if you work _for or with_ weird nerds in a
       | support role, my advice is to take full advantage! They might
       | have a useful point, so set your own ego aside, don 't take it
       | personally (they _are_ weird), and try to listen charitably.
       | Their work is what you 're here to support, after all.)
        
         | fragmede wrote:
         | > assuming emotional intelligence isn't an innate skill
         | 
         | it's a skill like any other, so if you put in dedication and
         | practice, you can get better at it, just like practicing
         | leetcode. whether or not an individual wants to do so is on
         | them.
        
           | AlexandrB wrote:
           | While I think this is true, some people have it harder than
           | others. So sure, anyone can learn emotional intelligence, but
           | if it's 2x the effort for someone the ROI is much worse.
        
             | fragmede wrote:
             | A toxic individual can tank the productivity of the whole
             | team, if not the whole org. What's the ROI for them on
             | being fired?
        
           | eikenberry wrote:
           | And like any other skill some people are more gifted in
           | learning that skill than others. Anyone can learn to paint,
           | but not everyone is going to be a Monet or a Rembrandt.
        
             | fragmede wrote:
             | Everyone doesn't need to be a Monet, they just have to be
             | able to paint their name on a poster without embarrassing
             | themselves and putting down others.
        
               | eikenberry wrote:
               | Everyone can paint their name, that is a 0 skill
               | exercise. And I wasn't saying everyone needs to be a
               | Monet, more that these are high ceiling skills you are
               | talking about and there is a lot more variety than is
               | given credit.
        
         | bradleyjg wrote:
         | _However, in my experience the vast majority of brilliant nerds
         | way overextend themselves, and are much too confident outside
         | their domain. They 're also much more likely to be jerks and
         | will tumble from conflict to conflict until they get their way
         | by attrition or status. Conflicts are strangely more personal
         | because so much ego is tied up into it. They're more likely to
         | assume they're right in every (non-tech/science related)
         | situation._
         | 
         | Your next paragraph gives advice to the weird nerds, but this
         | is practically a genre. What I haven't seen much of is advice
         | to an organization about how to deal with what you're pointing
         | out here.
         | 
         | You have an employee that's brilliant in technical area X but
         | also has very strong and very wrong opinions about how the
         | company ought to structure its cap table, pay its cleaning
         | staff, and market to potential customers. He gets into constant
         | arguments about these things. What do you do?
        
           | cbozeman wrote:
           | "You're out of your depth."
           | 
           | That's what you do.
           | 
           | A lot of very smart people think because they're very smart
           | they have some kind of exceptional insight into the inner
           | workings of all things. They don't. And they need to be
           | reminded of that. Intelligence allows someone to gain that
           | insight faster than those in the middle of the bell curve of
           | IQ, but it doesn't _magically confer it_. It still takes
           | time, reading, research, and seeing it in practice.
           | 
           | Or put another way - what I call the "Iceberg Analogy" -
           | every discipline in life is like an iceberg. The average
           | person sees about 10% of what's actually happening, and is
           | able to comprehend that without too much effort, but the
           | other 90% that's below the surface takes a _lot_ to fully
           | make sense of.
        
             | antisthenes wrote:
             | > A lot of very smart people think because they're very
             | smart they have some kind of exceptional insight into the
             | inner workings of all things. They don't. And they need to
             | be reminded of that.
             | 
             | When you talk to people, you have no idea how much time
             | they've spent before that conversation gaining insight.
             | Maybe their simple phrase is a culmination of several years
             | of research and insight, whereas for you, you just thought
             | about this topic yesterday.
             | 
             | Seems like normies need to be reminded of that way more
             | frequently than nerds.
        
             | mmcgaha wrote:
             | A better response would be to tell them you are done trying
             | to convince them because you own the responsibility and
             | consequences of the decision. "You're out of your depth" is
             | an insult and is intended to be one.
        
               | bruce343434 wrote:
               | Is saying that someone has no expertise in a subject
               | necessarily an insult?
               | 
               | To me, your proposal sounds more like a band-aid, instead
               | of treating the core ailment: someone who won't recognize
               | their own fallibility.
               | 
               | Perhaps it can't be "treated", and we just have to make
               | do with such "band aids". But wouldn't it be more
               | productive if we could just get to the root of it?
        
           | akozak wrote:
           | This won't be a satisfying answer (and won't work for
           | startups), but the solution I saw most frequently was to
           | assign them dedicated diplomats or maintain a middle mgmt
           | class who are well suited to coddle them, absorb most of
           | their emotional energy, and channel it productively (or not)
           | into the wider institution.
        
             | bradleyjg wrote:
             | That's been my experience as well. But these minders are
             | not cheap. They need to be smart enough to win the respect
             | of their assigned WNs, charismatic enough to smooth
             | everyone else's ruffled feathers, patient, and have thick
             | skins.
             | 
             | Definitely worth it for a Nobel Prize level intellect but
             | I'm not sure how far below that the line is.
        
         | hnthrow289570 wrote:
         | I usually see both happening at the same time, but the real
         | money still goes to the politicians.
         | 
         | Brilliant nerds that solve problems for the organization on
         | their own usually don't get rewarded as much as politicians
         | despite the skills perhaps being more rare at the organization
         | than politics.
         | 
         | For example, you could deep dive into a bug that's been hanging
         | around, finally find the really technical solution to it, but
         | most of the money holders won't be able to appraise that value
         | from the technical details alone.
         | 
         | In general, simply giving away things to companies will usually
         | get you taken advantage of (usually not maliciously).
         | 
         | Doing a tour to explain why it's a problem first, then
         | providing the solution, is the much better alternative.
         | 
         | It really is true that it's a thankless job if everything is
         | working well and you're being proactive by fixing problems
         | before they become a problem.
         | 
         | There are exceptions where the money holders can deal with the
         | technical details and don't need to be sold on the problem
         | first, but it's rare and usually those are prestigious jobs in
         | close proximity to lots money.
        
       | mattgreenrocks wrote:
       | It feels like more and more areas of life are regressing to the
       | mean in terms of how status is distributed. The mean being some
       | sort of centralized cabal-like structure (perhaps
       | autonomously/accidentally centralized, like an algo) doling out
       | status. By design, it is highly uneven, quasi-random (there are
       | things that make you eligible but there are no guarantees), and
       | their authority to do so unquestioned.
       | 
       | Take social media: it is more about who they've said you are
       | rather than _what_ you say. The key message of the medium is less
       | the content of the message itself (though it figures in!) and
       | more the combination of your online persona's followers + likes
       | along with the message itself. I'd argue social media is a real
       | shift in the Internet itself where we began to take online
       | reputation very, very seriously, to the point that we decided
       | we'd believe that likes were more than just Internet Points.
       | 
       | And people _love_ this sort of structure because it means that
       | something other than actual competence can be the deciding
       | factor. They have a shot at being in the cabal and among the
       | deciders. And it's a lot easier to evaluate people: simply see
       | what other people say about them.
       | 
       | Not saying that non-technical factors don't matter. They matter a
       | lot and are often very easy wins to pick up. But it's clear
       | people like systems that aren't centered around competence as
       | much as they may claim otherwise. And areas where that isn't the
       | case seem to eventually be converted to more conventional
       | hierarchies.
        
         | throwaway42668 wrote:
         | > _And people _love_ this sort of structure because it means
         | that something other than actual competence can be the deciding
         | factor._
         | 
         | It's different competence. Not incompetence. It's being
         | competent at identifying marks to exploit, attention-seeking,
         | etc.
         | 
         | I don't particularly care for it myself and feel pretty
         | strongly that it's narrowing the gap between humans and apes,
         | rather than widening it, but it's still some kind of skill.
        
           | mattgreenrocks wrote:
           | Good catch. It gets at technical competence, but it isn't
           | constrained to that. It's more of "good at what the org
           | ostensibly is about," vs "good at ensuring the org lives on."
        
         | mrcode007 wrote:
         | Thanks for a thoughtful comment
        
       | francisofascii wrote:
       | I am mixed on how much we focus on posts by "a lot of people on
       | academic X". Perhaps they offer some valuable insight here, or
       | perhaps it is just a few grumpy individuals spouting off
       | unwarrented critisim.
        
       | Animats wrote:
       | It's the author of the article that seems weird, not the
       | researcher.
       | 
       | A major risk in academia is picking a dead-end niche. We hear
       | about the people who picked an unlikely winner. This one picked
       | mRNA vaccines. The inventor of MRI scanning had similar problems.
       | He was almost fired. Those two succeeded, eventually. But the
       | people who work on E-beam lithography or vaccines against
       | addiction didn't do so well. Both of those would have been huge
       | if they worked well. You can't tell in advance. If you could, the
       | problem didn't need research.
       | 
       | A more useful way to look at this is that doing it and selling it
       | are different skills. This is why companies have separate R&D,
       | production, and marketing departments. If you face a hard problem
       | in one of those areas, you can't devote enough time to the
       | others. This is to some extent a time management and division of
       | labor problem.
       | 
       | Academia is not team-oriented in that sense. At least below the
       | principal investigator level. Once reaching that level,
       | university PR departments are happy to hype any modest advance
       | into a major breakthrough. Below that level, it's a cold world.
       | Academia seems to have built itself a dysfunctional world - a
       | huge bureaucracy, not much of a career path for real researchers,
       | and a shrinking pool of full professorships. So anybody who is
       | any good goes to a startup now.
       | 
       | Henry Kissinger, who was not lacking in people skills, once
       | commented that "academic policy is so vicious because the stakes
       | are so low".
        
       | anewhnaccount3 wrote:
       | Shades of Graeber in this essay:
       | 
       | >There was a time when academia was society's refuge for the
       | eccentric, brilliant, and impractical. No longer. It is now the
       | domain of professional self-marketers. As for the eccentric,
       | brilliant, and impractical: it would seem society now has no
       | place for them at all.
       | 
       | https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/7004628-there-was-a-time-wh...
        
       | programjames wrote:
       | > In 2011, the average age at which a biomedical scientist gets
       | their first R01 grant to establish their independent career as a
       | PI is 42
       | 
       | This is ridiculous! The best researchers won't be much better at
       | 45 than 25, so it's just wasting 20 years getting "experience"
       | and moving up the ladder. But by nature of getting that
       | experience, they're going to give up on actual innovation.
        
         | dagw wrote:
         | _The best researchers won 't be much better at 45 than 25_
         | 
         | To get great research done you have to be great manager who can
         | prioritise time and resources, balance a budget, forge
         | connections with other researchers, get the most out of the
         | people working for you and know where and how to get even more
         | funding to keep the research going after the initial round of
         | research dries up. Those 20 years might not make you a better
         | 'scientist', but hopefully they will make you better at all the
         | other 'soft' skills that are required for successful scientific
         | research. At 25 you should be focusing on the science and doing
         | research and not have to bother with all that 'crap'.
        
           | programjames wrote:
           | Getting other people to do research isn't doing research.
           | You're misattributing who does what.
        
             | dagw wrote:
             | Very little research can be done by just one person working
             | alone. A huge part of 'doing research' involves getting
             | other people to do research in support of your research.
        
               | programjames wrote:
               | You're talking past me. I understand that getting
               | research done requires social infrastructure. Do you
               | understand that I don't consider that research?
        
               | fragmede wrote:
               | Right, the "Did Steve jobs make the iPhone?" conundrum.
        
         | jltsiren wrote:
         | Research is very labor intensive. It's easy to reach a point
         | where the lack of time is a bigger obstacle to pursuing your
         | ideas than the cost of pursuing them. Which is why you need to
         | apply for grants to hire people to do your work.
         | 
         | At 25, you are likely pursuing somebody else's ideas, because
         | you have not proven yourself yet. At 35, you should be pursuing
         | your own ideas, but it often gets delayed to 45, because
         | taxpayers are stingy with their money.
        
       | taneq wrote:
       | Not sure if I count as a 'weird nerd' or not but if there's been
       | one constant in my life, it's the theme of "you're amazing at a
       | whole range of things, but here's some things you're not amazing
       | at, could you maybe just try being a version of yourself with all
       | of your strengths and none of your inconvenient shortcomings?"
       | and tbh it's fucking infuriating.
        
       | isotropy wrote:
       | I read this as basically arguing that our filters throw up too
       | many false negatives, like Kariko, in a high-risk/high-reward
       | environment. It's saying the cost of false negatives is way
       | higher than the system realizes, and that's because the system
       | has drifted to be too much like the collaborative, incremental
       | workplace that most of us live in. Typical work teams pay a high
       | cost for false positives when hiring, so they guard against them
       | at the cost of way more false negatives. The doesn't work as well
       | for moonshot fields.
        
       | AlexandrB wrote:
       | I think about this all the time in the context of the arts.
       | Kanye, for example, definitely has extremely weird political
       | ideas. He also created Dark Twisted Fantasy. The tolerance for
       | this kind of "troubled genius" is dropping in artistic pursuits
       | too. I wonder if that's why pop culture increasingly feels like a
       | "content" slurry instead of anything identifiable.
        
       | myself248 wrote:
       | I wish I had a source for it right now, but years ago I heard an
       | anecdoate that Bell Labs had essentially dorms/hotels for
       | scientists, where things like cooking and laundry were taken care
       | of, so they could focus on their research.
       | 
       | This had the effect of embracing those people who hadn't
       | necessarily figured out how to be independent adults. As long as
       | they were lucky enough to be identified and brilliant enough to
       | be hired, they could flourish at the Labs.
       | 
       | I'd love to know if other settings have made similar
       | accommodations, and to what effect.
        
         | lo_zamoyski wrote:
         | I don't think I believe that. Look at the top scientists of
         | previous decades. They weren't incompetent idiot savants or
         | man-children.
        
       | lo_zamoyski wrote:
       | Status seeking and envy are absolutely at the heart of it all.
       | Status seekers and flatterers are weak people, because their
       | lives are very much about agreeableness and approval seeking.
       | Truth-seeking has always been at odds with "the world". You will
       | know them by what they love.
       | 
       | Dante hated flattery so much, he immersed flatterers in excrement
       | in the 8th circle of hell, below murderers. A fitting image given
       | how full of crap such people are in this life.
       | 
       | In a riff on John Adams, no scientific enterprise will function
       | in the absence of a moral people. You cannot have good scientists
       | without first having virtuous men and women. You are wasting your
       | time, and in fact, probably laying the groundwork for harm.
        
       | jarjoura wrote:
       | Speaking from big tech, you get things like rust (mozilla) or
       | React (facebook) when your engineers are given the space to solve
       | industry scale problems. Those are both "weird nerd"
       | contributions since the original creators weren't interested in
       | the celebrity public facing side of it.
       | 
       | In the React case, I'm not sure it would have become the
       | framework it is today unless Dan Abramhov pushed it outside of
       | the company. That took an insane amount of effort and skill to do
       | that, especially at the time when Angular was quickly
       | establishing itself.
       | 
       | Rust required an entire company to organize behind it and Mozilla
       | spent a fortune getting it on its feet. Otherwise, I am not sure
       | it would have been more than an experiment on someone's laptop,
       | long forgotten.
       | 
       | I'm not sure what the solution for that is, or how else you push
       | through all of the noise. Every great discovery and advancement
       | in history is driven by the folks who can sell their hard work or
       | at least have someone else willing to do it for them.
        
         | cod1r wrote:
         | What industry scale problems does React solve? I don't have the
         | most experience in React but it feels like it's gotten very
         | complex in recent years.
        
           | klysm wrote:
           | React is a very good framework for writing _web_ frontends in
           | my opinion. Writing web frontends is complex, there is no
           | getting around that. React being complex isn't a fault of
           | react, it reflects the nature of the problem.
        
       | motohagiography wrote:
       | weird nerds depend on a kind of nobility and magnanimity from the
       | people they work with that is perhaps a bit much to expect in
       | academia, or anywhere that isn't a high-growth environment where
       | participants can afford the risks of eccentricity. middling
       | people indexed on in-group status aren't equipped to handle
       | exceptional people who don't reciprocate what is essentially
       | corruption, and so they force them out.
        
         | bjornsing wrote:
         | > middling people indexed on in-group status aren't equipped to
         | handle exceptional people who don't reciprocate what is
         | essentially corruption, and so they force them out.
         | 
         | I think you hit the head of the nail there.
        
       | shadowgovt wrote:
       | Good article, but I would probably have stopped at "Nobody should
       | give any weight to the opinions of people still using Twitter in
       | this day and age."
        
         | klysm wrote:
         | Stopping reading something because of one sentence you disagree
         | with doesn't exactly resonate with your stance.
        
       | Gimpei wrote:
       | I really wish somebody had sat me down before grad school and
       | told me just how important it is to sell yourself. So much of
       | research is a form of sales: you have to sell your work and by
       | extension your ability; you need to convince the department that
       | you are a star so that they go to bat for you; you have to
       | convince star professors to co-author with you so that you can
       | get good publications; you need to attend all the conferences in
       | your field and sell your research to potential reviewers and
       | editors. Putting your head down and just doing your work is a
       | terrible strategy and will get you absolutely nowhere.
        
       | jdblair wrote:
       | I think for a "weird nerd" to be successful, they need the
       | support of someone (a manager, a mentor, a project leader,
       | department head, etc.), who does have political and social savvy.
        
       | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
       | I'm a bit "spectrumish." It's definitely _way_ better, this late
       | in life, than it was, when I was younger, but it 's still there,
       | if you know what to look for (my wife knows what to look for).
       | 
       | One aspect of it, that has always been a part of the package, is
       | that folks Just. Don't. Like. Me.
       | 
       | Most, if questioned about their dislike, may come up with a
       | couple of things, like "He's abrupt," or "He's arrogant," but
       | these are also exactly the traits present in many folks that they
       | _do_ like. They are just trying to justify this  "feeling" that
       | they have about me.
       | 
       | As anyone in my shoes can tell you, we're "bully magnets." Most
       | of us were recipients of multiple atomic wedgies, in school. My
       | grade school days were a living hell. Again, there's no real
       | "reason" for the hate. There's just something about us that
       | pisses them off. I suspect that the "resting bitch face,"
       | prevalent amongst us may have something to do with it. It often
       | looks as if we're being hostile, when we're not. I spent many
       | years, training my "resting" face to be one that's basically
       | "harmless dork," as opposed to "angry bastard." Doesn't win me a
       | lot of respect, but, at least, I'm not being attacked out of the
       | starting gate, anymore.
       | 
       | I've gotten used to it. It doesn't even really bother me too
       | much, these days, and it happens a lot less. Feeling sorry for
       | myself is a waste of time. I used to get all butthurt about it,
       | but that was just stupid of me. Others have far worse crosses to
       | bear. In the aggregate, it's been a good thing. I'm fairly decent
       | at my software development.
       | 
       | The folks that matter, stick around. I do have a fairly large
       | circle of close friends and associates that don't let my
       | "oddness" get in the way, and enough folks have respected me,
       | that I was able to make a decent living.
       | 
       | But many of us don't have those "soft" skills, that can be
       | important, when working in a team, or trying to establish
       | relationships with other people.
        
       | lazyeye wrote:
       | In other words your typical academic institution likes all kinds
       | of diversity except diversity of thought.
       | 
       | And they hide this behind a smokescreen by focusing on all the
       | superficial forms of diversity (gender, skin color, orientation
       | etc).
        
       | jauntywundrkind wrote:
       | I think the biggest hardest tradeoff is just relating to a world
       | where not only is there a huge dissonance between your strong
       | stirring passions & beliefs & other's, but where most people flat
       | out don't have strong stirring passions. Most people are not
       | absurdly driven into deep shit. Most people don't love their day
       | feeling torn apart by wanting to know or wanting to make the
       | things, most people aren't living in their future possibles.
       | 
       | > _Paul Graham talks about an underrated quality one needs for
       | extreme success, namely the willingness to be low status. And
       | Kariko had plenty of that: she lived her convictions, in this
       | case the conviction in the importance of mRNA through rejections,
       | humiliations (her office was vacated without her having received
       | prior notice) and hardship. I would go even further and say: she
       | had intellectual courage_
       | 
       | Spoken of as courage and low status, being on the pursuit. But
       | societally what I think is most under-stated is the _dissonance._
       | 
       | Bruce Sterling's Reboot 2011 put forward two modern archetypes.
       | The first isn't super relevant here, but Favella Chic, being low
       | resources but amazingly cool, bending & reusing whatever you can
       | scrape together to be cool as hell & on top of your shit. The
       | other is High Tech Gothic, where you are wired to the 9's, a
       | master of your domain, amazingly capable & competent, but
       | desperately alone & on your own; a It's Lonely At The Top / The
       | Crown Wears Heavily sentiment.
       | 
       | This idea of apartness, the stark difference of values and
       | beliefs and actions between the individual and the world they see
       | about them: I am so glad to have had some referents for this
       | notion, it's been so helpful. And personally, mulling it over, I
       | keep thinking, it's not really the Weird Nerd's issue. It's not
       | really their problem per se; another view is that the world is
       | failing to hook people, failing to expose them to the raw awe and
       | majesty of possibility and science, failing to inspire
       | exploration & discovery & maker-ship that such an amazing
       | universe of possibilities and circumstance has created around us.
       | 
       | As the Butthole Surfers song Weird Revolution says, _The so-
       | called weirdos in this country stand as completely freaked out by
       | the normal man as the normal man is completely freaked out by the
       | weird masses reaction to him._ It 's worth assessing not just the
       | weirdos as the weird ones! And it's worth telling them, letting
       | them know, this dissonance between your world and the so called
       | normality isn't necessarily your fault, isn't necessarily
       | something wrong with you. I don't think we duly sympathize or
       | grok the alienation the weirdos suffer with.
        
         | bitwize wrote:
         | > As the Butthole Surfers song Weird Revolution says, _The so-
         | called weirdos in this country stand as completely freaked out
         | by the normal man as the normal man is completely freaked out
         | by the weird masses reaction to him._
         | 
         | The Butthole Surfers' observation was -- only recently -- given
         | scientific support in autism research, where it's called the
         | "double-empathy problem". Previously, the prevailing theory was
         | that autistics suffer from "lack of empathy" or "mind-
         | blindness"; the double-empathy theory posits that it's rather a
         | case of mutual incomprehensibility between autistic and
         | allistic minds. Dogs and cats get into conflict because they
         | have difficulty reading each other's body language, but if you
         | are a dog person (as most people are) you have a tendency to
         | always blame the cat.
         | 
         | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_empathy_problem
        
       | booleandilemma wrote:
       | I wonder, with tools like ChatGPT available, how much more time
       | before society feels they don't need to put up with the weird
       | nerd any longer?
       | 
       | I'm something of a weird nerd myself, and though I haven't tried
       | it, I'm sure ChatGPT could spit out some of the most complicated
       | code I've written and make it look easy.
        
         | charlieyu1 wrote:
         | I'd say ChatGPT is helping me writing a lot of things that I
         | won't bother but apparently you need it to play the social game
        
       | bitwize wrote:
       | I found Eric S. Raymond's take on this interesting (and most
       | likely false):
       | 
       | https://x.com/esrtweet/status/1795088812944584781
       | 
       | He contends that autism is brain damage that limits your max IQ
       | and that all the smartest people are neurotypical -- the genius
       | brain is almost _necessarily_ a normie brain, but better.
       | 
       | I think that what's closer to the truth is that extremely high
       | intelligence is itself a form of neurodivergence, which is likely
       | to be comorbid with other forms of neurodivergence. Eric himself
       | I believe to be neurodivergent (in some non-autistic way) with
       | 95% confidence: one of the tells is his choice of desktop
       | environment: a minimalist tiling window manager (likely i3) with
       | Emacs full screen on one of his displays -- anything else he
       | deems too distracting and a drag on his brain. This sounds very
       | ADHD and in any case is an almost archetypal Weird Nerd setup.
       | Neurotypicals _love_ their Windows and Mac style UIs, and every
       | NT software engineer I 've met has no problem managing -- and
       | mousing through -- multiple windows: Visual Studio Code for
       | coding, Postman for making HTTP calls, DBVisualizer for database
       | interactions, etc.
       | 
       | NTs also love what people like Eric (and I as well sometimes)
       | dismiss as "monkey socio-sexual games"; and if you are smart as
       | well, you tend to get really, really good at these. Having been
       | around extremely intelligent people who otherwise seem
       | neurotypical (in particular, having married one and thus gained
       | two more as in-laws), they tend to get less into hard science
       | fields like math and physics, and more into fields where they can
       | wield their impressive social skills for maximum benefit such as
       | law, psychology, or entertainment. (Great actors, like Orson
       | Welles or Sir Patrick Stewart, fit this profile to a T, though
       | there are some great actors -- like Dan Aykroyd -- with autism!)
       | My in-laws were legal professionals for the entertainment
       | industry; after _that_ long and successful career they retired,
       | went to seminary, and joined the clergy of the Episcopal church!
       | 
       | Eric's observation that all the best scientists are neurotypical-
       | ish may be a result of what's described in TFA: in today's world,
       | being a prominent scientist selects very hard against Weird Nerd
       | traits because at that level, beyond a baseline level raw skill
       | in the discipline doesn't correlate well with success; schmoozing
       | and marketing do. The same has been true of professional software
       | engineering for at least a decade and a half or so.
        
         | bjornsing wrote:
         | > Eric's observation that all the best scientists are
         | neurotypical-ish may be a result of what's described in TFA: in
         | today's world, being a prominent scientist selects very hard
         | against Weird Nerd traits because at that level, beyond a
         | baseline level raw skill in the discipline doesn't correlate
         | well with success; schmoozing and marketing do.
         | 
         | I definitely think so. If Eric had gone to tea with faculty at
         | the Institute of Advanced Study back when Einstein and Godel
         | were top dogs he may well have had the opposite impression.
        
       | temporarely wrote:
       | The Manhattan Project was a very successful model of managing big
       | brains or "weird nerds". The key it turns out is having a big
       | brain manage other big brains, while himself managed by a
       | corporate type from the US Army. Another key element is a shared
       | sense of insecurity tied to mission failure. I predict future
       | weird nerds will be herded together in 'safe corporate cities'
       | (like the Googleplex prototype) shielding them from the outside
       | unwashed. They may be weird but they can do the math.
        
       | Aerbil313 wrote:
       | Here's a different take.
       | 
       | > _Everything comes at a cost: spend more time worrying about
       | politics, there will be less time for science. What's more, the
       | kind of people who really care about science or truth to the
       | extent that Kariko did, are not the same people that get
       | motivated by playing politics or being incredibly pleasant._
       | 
       | Obvious answer: We should incentivize and structure our
       | institutions to be more receptive to Weird Nerds in order to
       | enable further progress of science.
       | 
       | My take: Scientific work is by its nature unnatural for human
       | beings. Human beings played politics for millenia and are
       | structured to do so, mentally, physically, biologically.
       | Structuring our society to be more receptive to the people which
       | we are _wired_ to not be receptive is swimming against the
       | current.
       | 
       | The same argument can be applied to a lot of modern phenomena.
        
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