[HN Gopher] Disappointment
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       Disappointment
        
       Author : nsoonhui
       Score  : 105 points
       Date   : 2024-05-23 10:03 UTC (12 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.ams.org)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.ams.org)
        
       | n4r9 wrote:
       | Danny Calegari seems like that rare combination of humility,
       | insight, and empathy. Some really good quotes in this interview:
       | 
       | > If you want to go into mathematics, doing the mathematics
       | itself has to be the thing that's the reward, because no one
       | cares, and what's considered important doesn't always make sense.
       | ... I think 100% of mathematicians think that no one cares, that
       | no one even knows anything about their best work.
       | 
       | > G.H. Hardy was once asked what distinguished Ramanujan as a
       | mathematician. One of the things he said was that Ramanujan had a
       | remarkable capacity for coming up with hypotheses very quickly,
       | but that he was also very quick to revise his hypotheses. He was
       | nimble: If something didn't work, he was able to pivot and revise
       | his way of thinking.
       | 
       | > the same kind of psychological pressures that make it difficult
       | for people to deal with failure are at work in making it hard for
       | people to carefully and critically evaluate arguments that they
       | have a huge personal investment in being correct.
       | 
       | > One of the great, tremendously useful and valuable functions of
       | good writing is that it gives you a way of seeing what it's like
       | to be other people. You can see inside people's heads. This is
       | one of the great gifts of literature: You get to see that
       | everyone else is weird, too, not just you.
        
       | nadam wrote:
       | "If you want to go into mathematics, doing the mathematics itself
       | has to be the thing that's the reward" True. In other words
       | mathematics is the biggest 'Nerd Sniping' source ever existed on
       | Earth. Math was my hobby when I was younger, and every minute of
       | learning and thinking about theoretical math had a huge
       | opportunity cost of not learning something more useful.
       | Fortunately math is no longer a hobby of mine, so my knowledge is
       | becoming more rounded/practical nowadays. I have became an expert
       | of detecting any nerd-sniping, which at a younger age I was prone
       | to. Surely I still teach math to my children when they need help,
       | but otherwise I use math only when needed, not l'art pour l'art.
       | Coincidentally I comment much less on public forums too. (Another
       | non-useful activity.)
        
         | jebarker wrote:
         | I think this idea is true of all human endeavors. You have to
         | enjoy the process as the appreciation of an individual
         | achievement will fade very quickly and you're just left with
         | doing the process again.
         | 
         | So in a way, nerd sniping is great, it hooks you into a process
         | you enjoy.
        
         | n4r9 wrote:
         | Your post is written with a positive atmosphere, but I can't
         | help feeling like you've lost something you once found
         | rewarding. And... while it's tempting to think about your own
         | life in terms of opportunity cost, I would caution that it
         | risks giving rise to constant discontent if you focus too much
         | on that. Bertrand Russell has a good quote in "In Praise of
         | Ideleness":
         | 
         | > There was formerly a capacity for light-heartedness and play
         | which has been to some extent inhibited by the cult of
         | efficiency. The modern man thinks that everything ought to be
         | done for the sake of something else, and never for its own
         | sake.
         | 
         | https://harpers.org/archive/1932/10/in-praise-of-idleness/
        
           | nadam wrote:
           | I try to find joy in creating stuff that some other people
           | find useful or enjoy. Creating something just so that I enjoy
           | the process but society do not value at all is something I
           | have a very bad feeling about nowadays. Like I am wasting my
           | time/life. As an engineer it is more rewarding for me to
           | create a videogame that people enjoy than creating a nice
           | optimal algorithm or solving a hard math problem.
        
             | aeonik wrote:
             | Solving hard math problems is a prerequisite for those
             | video games.
             | 
             | While we are in a good spot right now. I'm convinced that
             | we need a lot more progress to really make the synthesized
             | simulations / games that I see in my imagination.
             | 
             | Hardware, algorithms, and architecture all have huge room
             | for improvement.
        
             | n4r9 wrote:
             | > Creating something just so that I enjoy the process but
             | society do not value at all is something I have a very bad
             | feeling about nowadays. Like I am wasting my time/life.
             | 
             | This is very understandable, especially in a professional
             | setting. But - assuming one has not reached a state of
             | total zen - one cannot live a life in complete
             | selflessness. I am guessing there are things that you do
             | for the sheer enjoyment: watch movies, read books, go for
             | walks? Can the reading and practising of pure mathematics
             | not fall under such a use of time?
        
               | nadam wrote:
               | You are right: it could still work as something I enjoy.
               | It is just that I am in a state of my life where I do not
               | want to put too much time into such an activity: I have a
               | greater desire to create things that people want. But I
               | still watch interesting movies and occasionally it could
               | be joyful to solve a math problem. But as I do not watch
               | movies dozens of hours weekly, I also do not want to
               | solve math problems dozens of hours weekly. This has
               | probably to do where I am in life currently. This may
               | change later in life (I am middle aged.)
        
             | Scarblac wrote:
             | But isn't a beautiful solution to a hard math problem as
             | enjoyable to some people as a game is to others?
        
             | tdesilva wrote:
             | What ends up being useful is hard to predict, so it's
             | better just to do what you enjoy. Lots of useful math
             | started out as just an idle curiosity, though mostly it
             | ends up being useless. Probably most engineering projects
             | are the same though (most end up in the dustbin sooner or
             | later).
        
             | mathteddybear wrote:
             | Creating videogames can be nerd sniping, too
        
             | lubujackson wrote:
             | I understand that feeling, but recognize you yourself
             | wouldn't play your own game (because it wastes time) but
             | get satisfaction from others wasting their time with your
             | creation?
             | 
             | Maybe you just want to be more efficient about increasing
             | the fun experiences beyond yourself. But don't discount fun
             | for fun's sake either!
        
         | bee_rider wrote:
         | I think this is basically true but I don't know if it is good
         | advice for most people. In the sense that the math that most
         | people are exposed to up until the first couple years of
         | college is the practical stuff. (Maybe I'm showing my age here,
         | are there, like, Math Influencers now that are sending the
         | bright kids into the really abstract stuff?)
         | 
         | In most cases a kid that aces all their math classes will make
         | a great engineer or physicist, which is a good outcome for
         | everybody involved.
         | 
         | And, besides, all the math I use was invented by the 1950's. At
         | the time, I'm sure they thought some of it was useless.
         | Somebody has to cook up the stuff for the engineers of 2100.
        
         | BeetleB wrote:
         | You once found joy in mathematics, and have replaced that
         | source of joy with ...?
        
           | nadam wrote:
           | Joy with creating something other people enjoy or find
           | useful. For example creating a videogame. But formerly I
           | enjoyed creating the underlying technology (engine
           | programming, which is a nerd sniping too), nowadays I am more
           | interested in the game as a whole (more game-design focus and
           | less game-tech focus.)
        
             | anyfoo wrote:
             | In my experience, you can do both. I recently made a tool
             | where I had great fun making the internals as "elegant" as
             | possible. What other people perceive though is only the
             | usefulness of the tool.
             | 
             | I would have had significantly less fun with a more
             | pragmatic approach, and maybe the tool would not be as
             | polished as a result.
             | 
             | In German, we say "the journey is the goal".
        
             | bee_rider wrote:
             | How theoretical is the math in a game engine? (I'm asking
             | because I have no idea but I assumed it'd all be really
             | applied linear algebra stuff, that sort of thing).
        
               | nadam wrote:
               | Not very theoretical. But with 'nerd sniping' focus I
               | tended to create my own tech unnecessarily, and wasting
               | too much effort to optimize things that do not
               | necessarily need to be that much optimized. Nowadays I
               | try to reuse other people's code as what I really enjoy
               | is to create the end-product.
        
             | BeetleB wrote:
             | As long as it's working for you.
             | 
             | I have somewhat similar feelings on my side. I really enjoy
             | mathematics, but at university, I realized how vast the
             | field is and how it can be fairly easy to dedicate your
             | life to learning something that no one around you cares
             | about. As such, if I ever get back into these disciplines
             | again, I'll probably focus primarily on the math necessary
             | to solve physics problems. Not because I think that's
             | inherently more useful or valuable, but merely as a
             | heuristic to limit the scope, so I don't go insane with the
             | vastness of mathematics.
        
             | digging wrote:
             | But someone had to create the underlying technology for you
             | to be able to focus on more high-level tasks. Seems it's
             | easier for you to share these new tasks than your old
             | tasks, but not that one is intrinsically more valuable than
             | the other.
        
             | hopa wrote:
             | Can I ask if other people care about the game you're
             | making? As someone with a fair amount of indie experience
             | it seems easier to create a proof people care about than a
             | (even reasonably) popular video game.
        
               | nadam wrote:
               | It is too early to tell for my current project. I know
               | that it is very hard to create a successful game. Certain
               | genres are more crowded than others though. Creating a
               | successful 2D platformer is almost impossible nowadays
               | for example. I am creating a grand strategy game. It is a
               | niche where the supply and demand dynamics is reasonable,
               | but it is still hard to create something successful.
        
         | jacobolus wrote:
         | These activities are "non-useful" in the sense that they
         | generally don't bring direct financial rewards to the
         | individual people who spend time on them (beyond modest
         | salaries for teaching/research for those who work full time on
         | it). However, from a societal perspective, such activities in
         | aggregate often compound and have very high leverage and
         | therefore disproportionately large benefit, especially compared
         | to purely consumptive hobbies. The rewards are not carefully
         | accounted and are reaped by miscellaneous strangers, sometimes
         | far in the future.
        
           | nadam wrote:
           | It is not just about the financials. It can be a very lonely
           | activity to create something that other people do not care
           | about, or just very very few people care about. (As it is
           | described in the article.) Besides financial reward, social
           | reward is important too.
        
           | BeetleB wrote:
           | As the OC mentioned in a sibling comment, it's actually the
           | societal aspect that leads people to abandon pursuing things
           | like mathematics.
           | 
           | When I was in grad school, I was surrounded by people who had
           | these interests. I could work on a cool math problem, and
           | people would be interested. I could have a conversation with
           | them about it.
           | 
           | Fast forward to the "work" world, and there's not a single
           | person I know in my city with whom I can have these
           | discussions. And trust me, I looked.
           | 
           | As the OC said, it becomes an incredibly lonely life. If I
           | want to study a typical grad level math course after work
           | hours, it can easily consume _all_ my free time (trying to
           | solve a given problem could take hours).[1] After a few years
           | of trying, I had to abandon it for the sake of my mental
           | health.
           | 
           | In retrospect, there probably is a middle ground, and if I
           | return to it, I'll aim for that middle ground. Intentionally
           | choose topics I can do in bite sized amounts, and topics that
           | I can share online that have a higher chance of engagement.
           | 
           | [1] And this was when I was single without kids. Imagine how
           | much less time you have with kids.
        
         | anyfoo wrote:
         | What's the problem with nerd sniping? It's fun, and something
         | useful may come out of it. I'd like to say that I'm at a stage
         | in my life where I don't need to "forcefully progress" anymore,
         | but truthfully that was never actually the case. I came to be
         | where I am because I was following a passion, so it was all
         | nerd sniping with useful side effects, I guess.
        
           | nadam wrote:
           | The problem with nerd sniping is that it is instant
           | gratification in a way. Always focusing on tech and math
           | problems because you like solving them can lead to neglecting
           | other areas. But maybe learning more about those other areas
           | could lead to better success in life. At least this is my
           | experience. It solved itself in my case. My interest just
           | shifted to be more end-product focused gradually.
        
             | ykonstant wrote:
             | > But maybe learning more about those other areas could
             | lead to better success in life.
             | 
             | Or, more pertinently, prevent catastrophic failure (+_+)
        
         | lanstin wrote:
         | Funny contrast to me. I finished getting my kids up into
         | college using my "useful enough to others to be paid for it"
         | software skills and immediately went back to grad school for
         | math precisely because it is such a joyous activity. Why would
         | one eliminate a consistent source of transcendent pleasure from
         | your life in this hard hard universe full of suffering and
         | death?
         | 
         | And I have to say my training in low dimensional topology and
         | mathematical techniques as a youngster was extremely useful for
         | developing software and software systems.
         | 
         | Practical knowledge has a tendency to overfit and overfit in a
         | society where change of technologies and techniques is as high
         | as it's ever been.
        
           | makr17 wrote:
           | Reminds me of one of my Maths professors in college, Ben
           | Freedman. He was a writer and an engineer until his son
           | Michael started asking math questions that dad couldn't
           | answer. So he went back for his PhD in his 40s. Michael
           | ultimately won a Fields Medal.
        
           | barfbagginus wrote:
           | That enlightened activity is funded in part because it
           | frequently yields massive military benefits/massive benefits
           | to other exploitive technologies. There's currently no way to
           | control that as a Mathematician, unless you're publishing in
           | an anti establishment mathematical activism cell, in which
           | case you public mathematical career is halted.
           | 
           | Very few mathematians want to become political enemies of the
           | state, but that's what they're forced to do if they want to
           | rise to this principle. I guarantee that takes away some of
           | the enlightened wonder, and adds back a lot of genuine terror
           | and boring bullshit.
        
         | throw_pm23 wrote:
         | So what do you do with all the valuable time that you save by
         | not pursuing this apparently not-so-useful activity anymore?
        
         | data_maan wrote:
         | > Fortunately math is no longer a hobby of mine, so my
         | knowledge is becoming more rounded/practical nowadays
         | 
         | Rounded for whatever you want to do in less, but less rounded
         | in terms of your abilities as mathematician, or even "user of
         | mathematics"
        
         | barfbagginus wrote:
         | If you're not applying math to whatever endeavor is more
         | valuable than math, how do you expect to build and wield power
         | in that endeavor?
         | 
         | On the backs of more technical people, I suppose?
         | 
         | I reject that approach.
         | 
         | About half of the successful business moves I do depends on
         | developing better mathematical tooling than my competition.
         | 
         | Consider adopting category theory as your lingua franca for
         | modeling real world processes. It's universal and it's
         | everywhere, from software engineering to business strategy and
         | communications.
         | 
         | There's no such thing as nerd sniping when every piece of math
         | you do can be transported to every other endeavor you do.
         | That's the job of Categories, and if you don't use them, then
         | your mathematical education cannot really empower you.
        
       | wslh wrote:
       | Again, epistemology and the recommended book "NEW DIRECTIONS IN
       | THE PHILOSOPHY OF MATHEMATICS"[1].
       | 
       | It is always interesting how the people who were in the
       | epistwemology of math could easily predict this. I personally
       | participated in Gregory Chaitin [2] conferences.
       | 
       | [1] https://gwern.net/doc/math/1986-tymoczko-
       | newdirectionsphilos...
       | 
       | [2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gregory_Chaitin
        
       | jebarker wrote:
       | > Math is so competitive. Most people are struggling to get
       | access to very limited resource
       | 
       | Does he mean academic positions and funding or community
       | attention? Hard to be sure based on the rest of the interview.
        
         | BeetleB wrote:
         | Pretty sure that's what he means. It's one of the more
         | competitive academic positions.
         | 
         | Anecdote, but: I knew several math and physics PhD students.
         | About half of the physics ones eventually obtained tenure track
         | faculty positions in the US. Not a single math one did.
        
           | jebarker wrote:
           | It's sad that's the case. Math academics require very little
           | funding relative to other subjects.
        
             | BeetleB wrote:
             | For the other departments, generally the university does
             | not provide that funding anyway. The faculty members are
             | expected to fund it themselves via grants. Although often
             | for new faculty members, the university may promise one or
             | two years of funding for labs. But again, since they get a
             | cut of every grant that's coming in, they can afford to do
             | so.
        
           | selecsosi wrote:
           | This gels with my experience (purdue physics/math grad 2011).
           | It also reflected in the composition of staff for the
           | departments. I think to field a robust math department you
           | don't need the staff levels that you do to field a dual
           | theoretical/experimental program in something like physics or
           | chemistry.
           | 
           | e.g. at MIT the ratio of grad students in physics/math is 2.4
           | even though the undergraduate programs in Math (especially if
           | you include Math+CompSci) are much greater
           | 
           | https://registrar.mit.edu/statistics-reports/enrollment-
           | stat...
        
       | beyonddream wrote:
       | I haven't read the article yet but the moment I saw the writer is
       | "Jordana Cepelewicz" I knew it is going to be great! I have read
       | few of her past articles and they were excellent think pieces.
        
       | isotropy wrote:
       | Danny Calegari's essay "Disappointment" in the Notices
       | (https://www.ams.org/journals/notices/202309/noti2782/noti278...)
       | is a nice reflection on how to think - and try to feel - about
       | failures.
        
       | ocular-rockular wrote:
       | And yet being able to practice that failure while in the
       | classroom is all but outright disincentivized. I completely agree
       | with the interview... but educational currents do not have the
       | space for the type of failure that helps one become a good
       | mathematician. In fact, failing can remove a lot of prospects.
        
       | DeathArrow wrote:
       | >It wasn't common for people to write multiple-author papers when
       | I was a grad student; now it's rare for a paper to have fewer
       | than three authors.
       | 
       | I thought that's because people are trading. I'll put your name
       | on my paper if you put mine on yours.
        
         | paulpauper wrote:
         | maybe the material is more complicated and the papers are
         | longer
        
       | dang wrote:
       | We changed the URL from https://www.quantamagazine.org/how-
       | failure-has-made-mathemat... to the article it's based on, but
       | both are worth reading!
        
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