[HN Gopher] What I think about when I edit (2019)
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       What I think about when I edit (2019)
        
       Author : tarf
       Score  : 258 points
       Date   : 2024-04-06 07:48 UTC (15 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (evaparish.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (evaparish.com)
        
       | tosh wrote:
       | > Don't use adverbs
        
         | richrichie wrote:
         | Indeed!
        
       | hubraumhugo wrote:
       | Any other engineers trying to improve their writing skills? Any
       | additional resources or tips to help me refine my drafting and
       | editing process?
        
         | thangalin wrote:
         | Anything by Diana C. Reep. Technical Writing: Principles,
         | Strategies, and Readings is particularly insightful:
         | 
         | https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0205721508
        
         | spit2wind wrote:
         | Strunk & White is always good to thumb through:
         | https://archive.org/details/TheElementsOfStyle4thEdition The
         | Wikipedia has links to other copies, like on Project Gutenberg.
        
         | MrVandemar wrote:
         | Death Sentence - The Decay of Public Language, by Don Watson.
         | 
         | Blisteringly good. Not aimed at technical writers, but
         | encourages you to think about how to really use language
         | effectively and robustly.
        
         | lawn wrote:
         | I've been trying to improve by making a conscious effort to
         | practice it. I've been trying to blog and even wrote a book,
         | partly to increase my writing skills.
         | 
         | The book that helped me the most is On Writing Well: The
         | Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction.
         | 
         | I also wrote a blog post about some of the lessons I learned:
         | 
         | https://www.jonashietala.se/blog/2023/11/25/writing_lessons_...
        
         | RheingoldRiver wrote:
         | Developing Quality Technical Information -
         | https://www.amazon.com/Developing-Quality-Technical-Informat...
         | 
         | My review + some notes - https://river.me/blog/book-review-
         | quality-technical-informat... (it's very good)
        
         | ndand wrote:
         | Google has a few courses about technical writing for engineers:
         | 
         | https://developers.google.com/tech-writing
        
         | beezlebroxxxxxx wrote:
         | There are innumerable sources online for improving technical
         | writing and they all generally repeat the same conventions and
         | "rules". I tend to warn people, though, that over fixating on
         | technical writing will not make you a great writer but just a
         | capable technical writer.
         | 
         | If you're looking to improve your writing _in general_ , then I
         | think Joseph Williams' "Style: Towards Clarity and Grace" is
         | the single best book on the subject written so far. Rather than
         | simply state certain "rules", it methodically workshops
         | examples to show how you can write and rewrite a sentence to
         | change your meaning and emphasis at will.
        
         | richrichie wrote:
         | I can't recommend Strunk and White's Elements of Style enough.
        
         | probably_wrong wrote:
         | Not a source, but rather an exercise: give yourself a tight
         | word count and rework your essay until it fits. When one third
         | of your article _has_ to go, you start looking really deep into
         | how to extract as much value as possible out of every word.
        
       | remoquete wrote:
       | Eva is a fellow technical writer. I'm glad to see tech writers
       | get visibility in here.
        
       | dijksterhuis wrote:
       | > Whitespace is key for technical documentation but can also be
       | used to great effect in blog posts, emails, and elsewhere. It's
       | hard for people to read long paragraphs, especially on a computer
       | screen. They will zone out.
       | 
       | 100%. The explanation (?) I first heard which helped me 'get'
       | this whitespace principle was along the lines of
       | 
       | > Have you reached a page in a book with no paragraph breaks and
       | thought 'oh no'?
        
         | avg_dev wrote:
         | You know, I kind of feel this way about code too. Sometimes
         | people don't put in a lot of blank lines to break things up and
         | I find that a little harder to read and a bit more intimidating
         | than reading with a few blank lines between concepts/actions.
         | In fact, I was thinking after I read the article, maybe many of
         | these principles apply to writing maintainable code too.
        
       | KineticLensman wrote:
       | I was a doc reviewer in my corporate past life and found myself
       | using many of these guidelines. I'd add one more: don't use
       | different names for the same thing. Many of the docs I reviewed
       | had multiple authors and quite often they used slightly different
       | terminology. This really complicated things for readers. I
       | eventually realised there was a meta-principle here: in tech
       | writing, the reader should never have to resolve ambiguity
       | created by the authors.
        
         | berkes wrote:
         | This gets even worse in software code. When "Naming things" is
         | hard, and two people name the same thing, they'll very likely
         | give it a different name. A guarantee to maintenance
         | nightmares.
         | 
         | DDD by Eric Evans suggests using Ubiquitous Language. Even when
         | I don't use anything from DDD, I always add a dictionary.md in
         | which we write down the domain terms. What is a Customer? What
         | does a "Loan Application" mean. What can we do to a loan
         | application and how do we call those actions?
         | 
         | It's one of the easiest tricks, that dictionary.md, but with
         | great effect.
        
           | valenterry wrote:
           | Why not put those definitions into the code, next to the
           | types that define those entities?
        
             | medstrom wrote:
             | Your term may not map cleanly to a single OOP class, and it
             | may also be used in other function/variable names. There's
             | also how you will express yourself in the code comments.
             | 
             | I mean, I'm guessing the dictionary is not just for nouns,
             | but also verbs and adverbs. What will "transact" usually
             | mean in this codebase? What will "safely" mean?
        
               | ffsm8 wrote:
               | > _Your term may not map cleanly to a single OOP class_
               | 
               | That's not really an argument, as it will map to either
               | entities or functions, both of which can be annotated
               | with this information.
               | 
               | An argument against documenting it on the entities and
               | functions would be that this would spread the information
               | across the repository. The value you get from doing this
               | in a single markdown file is the overview it provides, I
               | think.
               | 
               | These kinds of methodologies enable development with high
               | turnover in large enterprise, which treat developers more
               | like cogs that temporarily work on a given software. And
               | if it's just a comment on a file, it'll likely not even
               | be seen
        
               | coldtea wrote:
               | > _That 's not really an argument, as it will map to
               | either entities or functions, both of which can be
               | annotated with this information._
               | 
               | No, it might not map to entities or functions. It could
               | refer to concepts about the project that are not mapped
               | in the code, but are still important to communicate with
               | the team, the customers, and so on.
               | 
               | And even for terms that do map to entities and functions,
               | it would be a bad idea to have the developers (and
               | especially non developrs) hunt them around (even if it's
               | just a grep away). As you say, the overview is important.
               | 
               | > _These kinds of methodologies enable development with
               | high turnover in large enterprise, which treat developers
               | more like cogs that temporarily work on a given
               | software._
               | 
               | Even small teams of 4-10 people can benefit from shared
               | common terminology, especially if each might work in
               | different repos (or e.g. backend and front-end).
        
             | coldtea wrote:
             | - Not all project-related terms map to types
             | 
             | - The "types that define those entities" (that do map) can
             | be scaterred across multiple source code files (so this
             | would also scatter the definitions)
             | 
             | - The code is not where people look for reference, even
             | more so for non-coders that still need to refer to the same
             | things (e.g. UX, sales)
             | 
             | - The definitions that do map to types, could still be
             | reusable in multiple code projects. Putting them in the
             | code means you need to repeat them, make sure they're
             | consistent, and sync them across codebases when some
             | definition is changed/improved.
             | 
             | -
        
               | valenterry wrote:
               | The last 3 points make a lot of sense.
               | 
               | The first one however I don't understand. Do you mind to
               | give one or two concrete examples of that?
        
               | coldtea wrote:
               | > _The first one however I don 't understand. Do you mind
               | to give one or two concrete examples of that?_
               | 
               | Not everything about a project maps to a type.
               | 
               | The team might have to handle the issue (and have a way
               | to talk about the problem) of back-pressure for example.
               | Doesn't mean there's a back-pressure type in the server
               | code, or a "back-pressure-handler" class or something
               | like that.
               | 
               | And that's still a term referring to a core tech aspect.
               | There are terms related to projects that teams need to
               | agree on that are appplicable to the sales or marketing
               | or user documentation of the software, and not classes.
        
             | berkes wrote:
             | For a large part, this can work. But there are several
             | cases where it doesn't. Modules, subdirectories, a group of
             | classes, etc. Too often, at least a part of the terms don't
             | have a logical place to go in code. I consider it worse to
             | have them partly here and partly there, than to have them
             | all together.
             | 
             | But, indeed, I often repeat the definition or naming in the
             | class documentation, module file, methods etc. Knowing
             | fully well it will drift, but accepting it does. And
             | everyone knows the canonical place is dictionary.md, inline
             | docs are merely reminders or copies of that canonical
             | place.
        
           | zelphirkalt wrote:
           | I tried to introduce that, but few if any people stuck to it
           | and still they came up with their own words and different
           | understanding of the words that were already in the glossary
           | I had created. It felt like they did not care much.
        
             | berkes wrote:
             | > It felt like they did not care much.
             | 
             | If software people don't care about using the business-
             | domain-language, I think they are very bad software
             | developers. The main task of software developers is to be
             | the bridge between the domain and computers.
             | 
             | I've met and seen my share of teams that don't want to be
             | that bridge, or offload it to "product owners" or
             | "managers". They are -without exception- abysmal projects,
             | terrible products and quite often have a poor UX. I refuse
             | to call these people software developers, instead I refer
             | to them as code-monkeys. And with all the generative AI
             | going on, these are the first to be replaced by robots in
             | our fields.
        
         | Adverblessly wrote:
         | Indeed a very important tip.
         | 
         | I'd also add that repeated ideas should be parallel, most
         | commonly when you have multiple list items they should be
         | presented "similarly", e.g.                 BAD: Windows is a
         | bad operating system for many reasons:       * It is ugly
         | * Unstable       BETTER: Windows is a bad operating system for
         | many reasons:       * It is ugly       * It is unstable
         | OR: Windows is a bad operating system for many reasons:       *
         | Ugly       * Unstable
         | 
         | Another problem I often see is documents or presentations that
         | don't have a coherent narrative, where the ideas presented feel
         | disjointed or random. As much as possible, each sentence should
         | clearly lead to the next one and have a clear relation to it.
         | Each idea should clearly lead to the next one and have a clear
         | relation to it. Where things don't feel related, make sure to
         | explain how they are related.
         | 
         | As a simplified example (since this is hard to explain), when
         | talking about a new service you intend to introduce you may
         | talk about things like plans for scalability, reliability,
         | error handling and cost. If you just talk about these things
         | with no relevant introduction, they will feel random, but if
         | you introduce them ahead of time with an overview of the
         | relevant considerations they will feel more grounded.
         | Additionally, you may want to discuss cost after scalability
         | since the ideas follow from each other (maybe even
         | scalability->reliability->cost to explain what we can do for
         | reliability at different scales, and then finally the cost for
         | each scale and threshold of reliability), whereas error
         | handling is usually a technical decision that you may want to
         | separate out to a separate discussion.
        
           | layer8 wrote:
           | "Ugly" and "unstable" are not reasons, "ugliness" and
           | "instability" are. You're also not helping your argument by
           | choosing such a derogatory example.
        
         | layer8 wrote:
         | Another problem is semantic drift. It often happens that the
         | thing that is named drifts in scope over time, but the name
         | remains. Sometimes the name becomes just subtly mismatched,
         | sometimes the relation to the original concept becomes
         | completely lost. It's useful for documentation to recognize
         | this and explain the provenance of the name, because otherwise
         | the mismatch is prone to cause confusion, irritation, or
         | misunderstandings.
        
         | cookie_monsta wrote:
         | It's amazing that much of this has to be said, but here's a
         | related piece of advice: don't use the same term for different
         | things, especially if they're related.
         | 
         | I got a document the other day that described a category which
         | consisted of 3 subcategories, one of which had the exact same
         | name as the category it belonged to.
         | 
         | I felt like I had slipped into another dimension.
        
         | euroderf wrote:
         | > don't use different names for the same thing.
         | 
         | But if there ARE different names, call it out in the
         | introduction, and state which one you will be using.
        
         | vundercind wrote:
         | Huge vendors make this mistake across their entire system. Like
         | data bricks with Workflows and Jobs (same thing). Super
         | irritating, friggin' pick one.
        
       | jmmcd wrote:
       | I love this.
       | 
       | Inevitably I want to make some improvements.
       | 
       | > "He laughed with the kind of booming abandon that made the
       | whole restaurant turn around and look."
       | 
       | The _kind of_? If it 's a kind that exists generically then we
       | can't have a past tense, so:
       | 
       | "He laughed with the kind of booming abandon that *makes* the
       | whole restaurant turn around and look."
       | 
       | But really, why emphasise it being generic? This is better:
       | 
       | "He laughed with *a* booming abandon that made the whole
       | restaurant turn around and look."
       | 
       | ---
       | 
       | > Use lists where relevant, because it's easier to read a
       | bulleted list of items than to read a paragraph with the same
       | information.
       | 
       | Use lists only where all the items have the same status, in some
       | sense. An ordinary paragraph can't be broken up into bullet
       | points.
        
         | wizzwizz4 wrote:
         | If it's a kind that _existed_ generally, then we can have a
         | past tense.
         | 
         | "He laughed with the kind of booming abandon that made the
         | whole restaurant turn around and look, in the before-times."
        
           | jmmcd wrote:
           | We now live in a sad, post-apocalyptic world, with no
           | booming, no abandon, no turning around, and very few people
           | in restaurants.
        
             | coldtea wrote:
             | This is hardly a bad description of the current state of
             | affairs.
        
           | coldtea wrote:
           | We can describe "a kind that exists generally" even if the
           | restaurant turned and looked (then) and would still turn (now
           | and in the future).
           | 
           | Just need to change "the" with "a":
           | 
           | > He laughed with the kind of booming abandon that made the
           | whole restaurant turn around and look.
           | 
           | to:
           | 
           | > He laughed with a kind of booming abandon that made the
           | whole restaurant turn around and look.
           | 
           | In this case his laugh is still described as having a
           | generalized "booming abandon", but the reaction of the
           | patrons isn't a necessary reaction to that "kind of"
           | laughter, but to that particular instance of it.
           | 
           | That is, the noun is "the kind of booming abandon" and not
           | "the kind of booming abandon that made the whole restaurant
           | turn around and look".
        
             | jmmcd wrote:
             | This is the best version.
        
         | hovering_nox wrote:
         | > "He laughed with _a_ booming abandon that made the whole
         | restaurant turn around and look."
         | 
         | Don't the people in the restaurant actually turn around in this
         | sentence, whereas they didn't in the original, because it's
         | just describing a kind of loudness with an example?
         | 
         | > "He laughed with the kind of booming abandon that makes the
         | whole restaurant turn around and look."
        
           | jmmcd wrote:
           | > Don't the people in the restaurant actually turn around in
           | this sentence, whereas they didn't in the original
           | 
           | No, the original said "made", so I think they actually turned
           | around.
        
           | bregma wrote:
           | Well, yes, but one is telling and one is showing. A good
           | story teller shows and not tells.
        
             | coldtea wrote:
             | That's just a literary superstition, similar to absolutes
             | we tell kids such as "you should never lie" (that in real
             | life are never that clear cut).
             | 
             | A good story teller can both show and tell, depending on
             | whatever fits the story, their stylistic choice, and their
             | intention.
        
         | amenhotep wrote:
         | Maybe he often visited that restaurant and laughed with booming
         | abandon and no longer does :) there was, over a specific
         | period, a specific kind of booming abandon, justifying "the" -
         | but there no longer is, justifying "made".
        
         | coldtea wrote:
         | > _The kind of? If it 's a kind that exists generically then we
         | can't have a past tense_
         | 
         | It still applies if the past tense is only meant to apply to
         | the reaction to what he did at that point in the past ("made
         | the whole restaurant turn around and look") and not to the
         | general reaction to such booming abandon.
         | 
         | Then this:
         | 
         | > "He laughed with the kind of booming abandon that made the
         | whole restaurant turn around and look."
         | 
         | Can still refer to the generalized abandon, but should rather
         | be:
         | 
         | > "He laughed with a kind of booming abandon that made the
         | whole restaurant turn around and look."
         | 
         | Though, the non-generalized version is indeed better.
        
         | grok22 wrote:
         | It feels like your change is changing the scene? The author's
         | sentence makes it seem like the laughter was not in the
         | restaurant, while yours makes it seem like it's taking place in
         | the restaurant. Maybe I am overthinking it!
        
       | richrichie wrote:
       | Original source found at:
       | 
       | https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/37134
        
         | richrichie wrote:
         | Some HN folks here are so thin skinned that they down vote a
         | reference to Strunk and White?
        
           | mattbee wrote:
           | It's definitely nothing new but good advice bears repeating
           | over the decades :)
           | 
           | For big picture stuff on writing I also like "On Writing
           | Well" by William Zissner and "First You Write A Sentence" by
           | Joe Moran (which is a bit more British).
        
           | svat wrote:
           | Was your comment ("Original source found at...") intended to
           | be a reply to some other comment, rather than being a top-
           | level comment? Or did you actually mean to suggest that the
           | original source of the post here ("What I think about when I
           | edit (2019)") is Strunk and White? The latter seems pretty
           | misleading and inappropriate.
        
       | Tomte wrote:
       | > You've heard this advice before. But you should understand why
       | you shouldn't use passive voice in your writing. It's not just
       | "bad style."
       | 
       | The ususal misunderstanding that everyone repeats.
       | 
       | Read Williams', Clarity and Grace, or watch McEnerny's lecture on
       | YouTube.
       | 
       | Passive has its use, and it's not "to obscure who is doing the
       | bad thing".
        
         | alpinisme wrote:
         | Williams' book is really excellent. It deserves to be more
         | widely read.
        
         | microflash wrote:
         | Indeed. However, it is the most oft-repeated consequence of
         | using Passive voice. In general, I use active voice and when it
         | makes sense, passive voice is used as well.
        
         | gghh wrote:
         | Thanks for the references. I'll check them. I'm extremely
         | biased against the business use of passive voice, to the point
         | of getting so worked up when someone does it with me on mail or
         | slack, that I need go to a quite room and relax for 5 minutes.
         | 
         |  _The purchase order has been made._
         | 
         |  _Your virtual machine has been created._
         | 
         | I see this a lot in corporate environments, and it's by low
         | level managers thinking every bit of information they're
         | trusted with is so delicate and confidential, they must go
         | above and beyond to reveal the least possible amount of it.
         | Note, in the examples above, it was the manager themselves
         | doing the action. What's wrong with _" I did this"_, _" I did
         | that"_? This is LARPing as CIA agents (or whatever), and they
         | like the sound of it ( _I want you to know I have information I
         | can 't share, you little shit!_).
         | 
         |  _" I've just created your virtual machine"_ peasant
         | 
         |  _" Your virtual machine has been created"_ special ops elite
         | force management
         | 
         | Mind you, 99.999% of the time, the concealment of "who did the
         | thing" is totally unnecessary. It's only there to reinforce
         | status.
        
           | jodrellblank wrote:
           | The opposite:
           | 
           | "I've just created your virtual machine" - 3 year old,
           | "mummy, mummy, /I/ did this! praise ME!". Got to insert
           | yourself as the first thing in the sentence, as if the
           | customer cares who did it.
           | 
           | "Your virtual machine is ready" - Waiter, assistant,
           | comfortable out of the limelight to let the focus be on the
           | customer and what they are interested in.
           | 
           | "I've just created your virtual machine" - You didn't make
           | the deployment pipeline, you didn't build the hosting, or
           | write any of the hypervisor or guest OS, you ran one script
           | and now you're taking all the credit. Embarrassing.
        
             | gghh wrote:
             | Good point. Focus on the customer. Didn't see that aspect.
        
       | lootsauce wrote:
       | My brain must be warped by using LLMs because I could not help
       | but think that it would be an amazing prompt, complete with
       | multiple examples of each principal. Perhaps good prompting is
       | good writing?
        
         | swayvil wrote:
         | I thought the same.
         | 
         | (I did something similar in drawing. So it's a not uncommon
         | path)
         | 
         | Get your art sharp. Digest that into a science. Digest the
         | science into automation.
         | 
         | (And yes, one could argue that the result is a crystalline
         | turd.)
        
       | ano-ther wrote:
       | All great advice. Except for "avoid passive".
       | 
       | It's a part of the toolbox that changes the perspective on an
       | action.
       | 
       | "The pull request got merged" vs. "The maintainer merged the pull
       | request".
       | 
       | If i want to talk about the new feature that gets implemented by
       | the pull request, then I mislead the reader by emphasizing the
       | maintainer, rather than the pull request.
       | 
       | The passive also allows you to choose whether you want to call
       | out the source of an action.
       | 
       | "The pull request got merged by the maintainer."
       | 
       | Yes, you can misuse it to fudge responsibility, but you don't
       | need the passive to do that.
        
         | medstrom wrote:
         | "They merged the pull request" sounds fine to me.
        
           | coldtea wrote:
           | As the parent notes though, "the passive also allows you to
           | choose whether you want to call out the source of an action",
           | while "they merged the pull request" does not.
        
           | kd5bjo wrote:
           | In context, though, the passive version can sometimes make
           | for smoother reading. My general rule of thumb is that each
           | sentence should establish context at the beginning by
           | referring to the preceding material and then introduce its
           | new idea at the end-- Whether it's best to start with the
           | maintainer or the pull request depends on which of those
           | you've already been discussing. (I didn't come up with this
           | idea, but I unfortunately can't remember where it came from)
        
             | svat wrote:
             | Possibly from here?
             | 
             | * _The Science of Scientific Writing_ (1990) by George
             | Gopen and Judith Swan: https://web.archive.org/web/20240120
             | 063715/https://www.ameri...
             | 
             | They say:
             | 
             | > _In our experience, the misplacement of old and new
             | information turns out to be the No. 1 problem in American
             | professional writing today. [...] Put in the topic
             | position_ [the beginning of the sentence] _the old
             | information that links backward; put in the stress
             | position_ [the end of the sentence] _the new information
             | you want the reader to emphasize._
             | 
             | It's a useful article, that I also mentioned in this
             | answer:
             | https://academia.stackexchange.com/questions/85286/why-do-
             | re... -- see also this video
             | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLPCdDp_LE0 of Judy Swan,
             | one of the co-authors (the accompanying handout is https://
             | web.archive.org/web/20170331212200/https://www.cmu.e...).
        
         | KineticLensman wrote:
         | I was once caught in a contractual dispute that occurred
         | because the author used passive. The contract basically said 'X
         | will be done' without identifying whether the customer or
         | contractor was expected to do X. Unfortunately this wasn't
         | spotted until the contract was in place.
         | 
         | If you must use passive in situations like these, please at
         | least identify the agent, e.g. "X will be done by Y". Oy just
         | use the shorter, explicit alternative: " X will do Y"
        
       | RheingoldRiver wrote:
       | This is a fantastic list of like, "suggestions to writers by
       | editors" but I don't think it's a great list of "how to edit."
       | The single most important thing when editing (imo) is "how can I
       | preserve the author's voice?" Editing is not writing a new draft,
       | it's amplifying the original.
        
       | publius_0xf3 wrote:
       | >One of the best writing tips I've ever gotten was to avoid using
       | demonstrative pronouns. Instead of saying "this" or "that," you
       | should add a noun to spell out exactly what you're referring to,
       | even if you've just mentioned it.
       | 
       | This piece of advice is maybe the only thing I remember from my
       | college English class. A naked "this" or "that" now feels
       | shamefully lazy to me.
        
         | KineticLensman wrote:
         | Totally agree! The worst example is a paragraph that starts
         | with 'this'. The author might remember what 'this' means at the
         | time of writing, but other readers have to then insert
         | themselves into the author's stream of consciousness. 'This'
         | paragraphs also make no sense when extracted from the main
         | report, or to readers who are dipping in and out
        
           | layer8 wrote:
           | This is good advice.
        
           | mike-the-mikado wrote:
           | 'This' paragraphs are fragile to editing. Ensuring that your
           | text is robust to updates (e.g. insertion of an extra
           | paragraph) is good practice.
        
         | wodenokoto wrote:
         | "This piece of advice", I guess it's good advice just don't
         | overdo it?
        
       | susam wrote:
       | One of my pet peeves while reading technical documents is coming
       | across acronyms that have not been introduced to the reader yet.
       | When this happens over and over again across several documents of
       | a project and people working on the project change over years,
       | sometimes we end up in a situation where nobody can tell anymore
       | what a particular acronym expands to.
       | 
       | In fact, more than once, I have seen the bizarre situation where
       | a team is responsible for developing and maintaining some service
       | known by the name, say, ABC, but nobody in the team knows what
       | ABC really expands to. In such instances, in order to avoid
       | choosing a new name and updating all related documentation etc.,
       | the only recourse is to treat ABC as a proper noun and move on.
       | 
       | Fictitious example: To obtain an access token for CDIS, first go
       | to DMC at <https://dsc.prod.example.com>, click on the entry for
       | "CDIS" on the left sidebar, click "Generate Access Token", and
       | copy the token.
       | 
       | What I would like to read instead: To obtain an access token for
       | Customer Data Indexing Service (CDIS), first go to Data
       | Management Console (DMC) at <https://dsc.prod.example.com>, click
       | on the entry for "CDIS" on the left sidebar, click "Generate
       | Access Token", and copy the token.
        
         | HeavyStorm wrote:
         | A glossary is the most important document ANY project should
         | have and maintain. Everything else is secondary.
        
           | drittich wrote:
           | Please explain what ANY expands to...
        
           | lawn wrote:
           | Nah, it doesn't pass the sniff test.
           | 
           | Is it more important than a list of critical bugs?
           | 
           | A document explaining how a developer can get the application
           | up and running?
           | 
           | A document detailing how the production server is setup and
           | how to gain access?
           | 
           | When you think about it, lots and lots of projects manage
           | without any kind of glossary but would go up in flames
           | without some kinds of documents.
        
             | mike-the-mikado wrote:
             | Perhaps in terms of the importance to effort ratio. How
             | long does it really take to maintain an adequate glossary?
        
           | liamwire wrote:
           | Agree strongly. I think an even more insidious version of the
           | parent comment is when common nouns that have specific
           | meaning in a given context are used as such, without it being
           | explicitly called out.
        
           | hcarvalhoalves wrote:
           | Agree. A glossary is a way to introduce a domain piecemeal,
           | without a long-form explanation.
        
           | nuancebydefault wrote:
           | I find glossaries quite often not very useful because they
           | tend to get copy/pasted across documents and the acronyms are
           | often just expanded without giving the correct meaning in the
           | context of that document. I'd rather have it fully spelled at
           | first usage, with the acronym in brackets. This enforces a
           | more natural order of writing and reading the document and
           | provides a better context.
        
         | wildrhythms wrote:
         | I see this happen in non-technical spaces too... product
         | managers using project-specific acronyms and codenames in front
         | of an audience of new people. I can't tell if it's some form of
         | narcissistic gatekeeping, or just lack of mindfulness and deep
         | entrenchment in the project for too long. I am so hyper
         | conscious of this that I will stop meetings to ask the
         | presenter to define the terms.
        
         | andsoitis wrote:
         | > What I would like to read instead: To obtain an access token
         | for Customer Data Indexing Service (CDIS), first go to Data
         | Management Console (DMC) at <https://dsc.prod.example.com>,
         | click on the entry for "CDIS" on the left sidebar, click
         | "Generate Access Token", and copy the token.
         | 
         | Even better:
         | 
         |  _< a href="https://dsc.prod.ex.com/gettoken">Get</> an access
         | token from the Data Management Console (DMC) to access the
         | Customer Data Indexing Service (CDIS)._
         | 
         | The best documentation is no documentation. This documentation
         | is there because the two systems aren't linked and that is the
         | real issue. If there isn't budget to do the integration, then
         | better is have the hyperlink to DMC _on_ the log in page of the
         | CDIS, which can then avoid the separate documentation
         | altogether.
        
         | brainzap wrote:
         | I think the google guide to technical writing recommends to
         | write out acronyms once per chapter/section.
        
           | _tom_ wrote:
           | Should always be on first use, of course.
        
         | tpoacher wrote:
         | I'm always tempted to go passive-aggressive and misinterpret
         | the acronym. I don't, but I'm tempted to.
         | 
         | E.g. "Couldn't we simply write an email to the Computer, Data,
         | and Information Services department for the access token? This
         | keeps a paper trail, and explains why you need Digital Media
         | Credentials in the first place."
         | 
         | I'm someone who's jumped from Medicine to CompSci. Each field
         | uses their own obscure acronyms that highly intersect. I'll
         | spare you the embarrassment that comes from someone making a
         | "Pro Rectum" request.
        
         | vundercind wrote:
         | HTML has an entire tag for this. There is _no_ good reason not
         | to define those _every_ time they appear.
        
         | _tom_ wrote:
         | This is a related to my number one problem with technical
         | writing or text books: forward references.
         | 
         | "Let's talk all about a topic we will define three chapters
         | from now"
         | 
         | Learning about things with undefined terms, concepts and
         | acronyms is much harder and may require multiple passes over
         | the material.
         | 
         | It's a hard part of writing a linear book about a topic that's
         | probably a graph, but good writers manage it. Bad writers just
         | leave their readers confused.
        
       | wodenokoto wrote:
       | All in all I think it is a good and well written guide.
       | 
       | I'd like to add support for using passive voice in work /
       | business emails. This is great, not only for obscuring blame, but
       | obscuring the _opportunity_ for blame.
        
       | cs02rm0 wrote:
       | Is there a service for this? (Standard developer question).
       | 
       | I found myself writing a book recently, completely left field to
       | my normal technical work. I'm intending on approaching a literary
       | agent but I need it reviewed first and I'm looking for
       | dispassionate, distanced, but informed opinions.
        
         | gghh wrote:
         | Well, a copy editor maybe?
         | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copy_editing
         | 
         | I've never used one, but I assume there are professionals for
         | hire to do this.
         | 
         | In fact I've read one of the advantage of going with a
         | publisher (as opposed to self-publishing) is they give you an
         | editor. But again, I'd expect a freelance market to exist.
        
         | tomsmeding wrote:
         | > completely left field to my normal technical work.
         | 
         | I'm assuming this is another baseball reference. As a non-
         | American: what does it mean? :)
        
       | bbx wrote:
       | A lot of the tips in this article are very similar to the ones
       | provided in this fantastic book: The Elements of Style [1]. I
       | highly recommend it, even for a non-native speaker.
       | 
       | [1] https://www.amazon.com/Elements-Style-Fourth-William-
       | Strunk/...
        
       | gghh wrote:
       | If I could add one prescription to TFA, it would be to avoid
       | using _" just"_ (the adverb, as in "simply") at all costs.
       | 
       |  _" A monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors."_
       | 
       | Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but none of that is simple. There's
       | that math joke about proof methods, and this would be "proof by
       | intimidation".
       | 
       | When describing a process: _" To measure the inverse reactive
       | current in unilateral phase detractors, just use an ordinary
       | turbo encabulator"_. Why "just"? Are there other methods? For
       | what reason is this the preferred one?
       | 
       | When giving advice: _" Why don't you just use a bash script?"_
       | This implies your suggestion is simpler or more economical than
       | my proposed approach, therefore better, but you aren't supporting
       | its alleged superiority with arguments I can counter, only
       | implying it.
        
         | hansvm wrote:
         | > monads, "just"
         | 
         | I think that line is usually quoting a popular joke from a
         | comedic tour of various programming languages, and "just" is
         | appropriate.
         | 
         | > A monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors.
         | What's the problem?
        
           | gghh wrote:
           | I see. It was the first sentence that came to mind. The point
           | I'm trying to make is, in my experience, "just" is often
           | abused, as it conveniently relieves one from providing a
           | sound argument.
        
             | hansvm wrote:
             | Totally agreed. Your other examples were spot-on, and the
             | general sentiment also makes sense to me.
        
         | aorth wrote:
         | Yes, good suggestion. I've also stopped using "just" when
         | speaking or writing in the last few years. You can almost
         | always drop it and retain the same meaning without sounding
         | rude or dismissive.
         | 
         | I've noticed this in at least one other language I'm loosely
         | familiar with (Bulgarian) and it holds there too. When the
         | speaker adds "prosto" it has the same effect of sounding rude
         | and dismissive.
        
           | gghh wrote:
           | Right: rude, dismissive, patronizing. Gives me exactly this
           | impression, you put it into words better than me.
        
         | chungmin wrote:
         | What is TFA?
        
       | zoya99 wrote:
       | Hello everyone! This is my post! I'm flattered and honored that
       | it resonated with many of you. Since I wrote that post, I
       | followed my curiosity to become a software engineer myself. After
       | doing that work for a few years, I've found myself missing
       | working in a more writing-heavy role. If you're looking for an
       | excellent technical writer, developer advocate, or another role
       | that blends communication expertise and technical skills, let me
       | know! You can contact me through the form on my website
       | (https://evaparish.com/contact) or via LinkedIn.
        
         | avg_dev wrote:
         | I really got a lot out of the article. I think it will help my
         | write more succinctly and clearly and to be better understood.
         | 
         | One question: after writing the sentence "I really got a lot
         | out of the article.", I wondered: is this extraneous? Is this
         | clear? Am I saying precisely what I mean? And I think, yes, I
         | meant exactly what I said, and I went into detail in the
         | following sentence. I am just curious what you think.
        
           | nuancebydefault wrote:
           | Your first paragraph is clear, indeed the first sentence is
           | the gist, the second explains it in more detail. The second
           | paragraph -- the question and own answer -- seems a bit
           | superfluous to me.
        
           | korymath wrote:
           | I am not the author, and am sharing feedback because you
           | asked with honest curiosity.
           | 
           | Your writing is not clear to me. Using the word "really" is
           | extraneous. Using "I think" is also extraneous; I assumed
           | these are your thoughts.
           | 
           | As the author notes, replace "it" with "the article", or
           | better yet a specific quote or idea distilled from the
           | article.
           | 
           | Helped "my write" should be helped "me write". You use two
           | -ly adverbs, which could be avoided by restructuring the
           | sentence.
           | 
           | You also have a list of two (succinct and clear) and then a
           | single item (better understood). Consider breaking these two
           | thoughts into separate sentences.
        
             | stavros wrote:
             | I really (err, vehemently) disagree with this feedback.
             | 
             | > Your writing is not clear to me. Using the word "really"
             | is extraneous.
             | 
             | What's not clear? He said the article helped him, it seems
             | pretty clear to me. The "really" was for emphasis, which is
             | fine.
             | 
             | > Using "I think" is also extraneous; I assumed these are
             | your thoughts.
             | 
             | "I think" indicates the degree of certainty. The author is
             | uncertain but deems it likely.
             | 
             | > As the author notes, replace "it" with "the article", or
             | better yet a specific quote or idea distilled from the
             | article.
             | 
             | The previous sentence says "the article", and the next one
             | says "it" to avoid repetition. Saying "the article" twice
             | would be awkward.
             | 
             | Very odd feedback, given how obviously out of place the
             | corrected sentence would look.
        
       | swayvil wrote:
       | This is smart stuff. All of it makes good sense. I speak as a
       | compulsive editor.
       | 
       | You can tighten it up, and tighten it up again, and sloppy
       | doggerel becomes so clear.
       | 
       | Really a lovely piece of writing about writing.
        
       | alphazard wrote:
       | I've heard English teachers cargo cult the passive voice thing
       | for ever.
       | 
       | This crowd will understand the passive voice as a form of
       | abstraction. If anything could suffice as the subject, then it's
       | not important to the meaning of the sentence, and you convey that
       | in English by implying but not specifying the subject (the
       | passive voice).
       | 
       | In scientific procedures for example, the whole point is that
       | anyone could replicate it. 30 grams of goop was added to the
       | beaker. Doesn't matter if it was you or one of your coworkers, or
       | another group trying to replicate.
        
         | natdempk wrote:
         | When I learned about passive voice, scientific writing was
         | often mentioned as an explicit exception. What you say makes
         | sense when you are abstractly describing something that
         | happened, but also I'd argue that "We added 30 grams of goop to
         | the beaker" or "Added 30 grams of goop to the beaker" is
         | clearer than "30 grams of goop was added to the beaker".
         | Depends on the context and style conventions of course, but
         | often passive voice is still poor/indirect writing in many
         | scientific contexts.
        
       | Scubabear68 wrote:
       | This post is a great set of ideas for writing. What the author is
       | doing is constantly putting himself in the shoes of the readers,
       | and thinking "what does the reader need here?".
       | 
       | Which may sound like a very tortuous way to write. But it becomes
       | instinctual after a while. When I'm writing and don't apply rules
       | like this, I inevitably feel lost - and I know the reader will be
       | too. When I end up going down a bad road like this, at some point
       | I will throw away most or all of what I've written and start from
       | a fresh perspective. I guess this would be my one addition to the
       | author's rules: don't be afraid to throw away lines, paragraph,
       | or even the whole thing if it's not working for you.
        
       | k__ wrote:
       | I needed the repetition tip the most.
       | 
       | I always feel like repeating myself makes the text unwieldy and
       | then clutter it with "this".
       | 
       | Grammarly always complains, "What is this refering to?"
       | 
       | Well, obviously a concept of the previous sentence!
       | 
       | I will repeat myself more often and then rephrase the repetition.
        
         | BossingAround wrote:
         | Honestly, I would recommend never using "this" or "that" - it
         | often makes sense only after you force the reader to re-read
         | the sentence.
        
       | BossingAround wrote:
       | I would add eliminating future tense. There's very few times when
       | future tense is actually required. It's one of my pet peeves when
       | docs say something like "Click X. This will open a prompt ..."
       | when it can say "Click x. This opens a prompt ..."
        
         | euroderf wrote:
         | Yes. The user is living (i.e. working) in the moment, and so
         | should your text.
        
       | Karellen wrote:
       | > _Who are you writing for?_
       | 
       | This is the hardest part of writing for me, especially blog
       | posts.
       | 
       | I can never decide if I'm writing for a) highly technical readers
       | who know 95% of the concepts my idea is based on, and I just want
       | to connect the concepts together in a way the they might not have
       | thought of, b) generally technical readers who have a grasp of
       | the concepts my idea is based on, but will need some details to
       | tie them into the idea I'm building on top, or c) readers who are
       | not-especially-technical in the field, who might be nevertheless
       | be interested in how a few things works, and my idea too.
       | 
       | I feel like part of it is that I am all these readers, depending
       | on the subject. I enjoy reading articles about the areas of
       | software dev I'm deeply interested in, but also about the odd
       | idiosyncrasies of software that is used in fields I don't
       | normally cover, but I also enjoy reading articles about e.g. the
       | challenges involved in developing geothermal drilling systems, or
       | elevator systems in 80+ story buildings, despite having very
       | little experience in either.
       | 
       | I keep going through cycles of "If I just explain this part in a
       | bit more detail, the post will be accessible to an order of
       | magnitude more readers" to "this is way too long, I should cut
       | some explanations, or add footnotes, or more wikipedia links" to
       | "I'm assuming way too much previous knowledge here, or asking the
       | reader to do too much extra work to follow my point".
        
         | VladTheImpalor wrote:
         | Good question, and one I'd like to see discussed more too. From
         | my point of you, your point "a)" is the one I never choose. In
         | my opinion, one could rarely write something for that audience
         | which might be novel to them. Perhaps I'm just not that smart,
         | but to me, when I picture the true masters in my field, I
         | rarely need to communicate anything to them that they haven't
         | figured out for themselves already, and in the rare case that I
         | might, those types of people don't mind a bit of revisiting of
         | the fundamentals anyway.
         | 
         | My favourite type of writing is one that also comes in handy to
         | myself a couple of years down the line, which inevitably
         | involves a modicum of handholding and starting from some
         | fundamentals. So I'd say most of the articles should be b) or
         | c).
        
         | kens wrote:
         | Yeah, I find picking the audience difficult too. For my blog
         | posts, I want to include the details for specialized readers,
         | but also make the post accessible to the generally technical
         | readers (roughly the HN crowd). (If I wanted to write for only
         | the first group, I'd write academic papers.)
         | 
         | My solutions are to add enough background for someone who isn't
         | an expert (even if it seems repetitive), and to use extensive
         | footnotes for information that most people won't care about.
         | Also, I try to put topics into a broader framework: a few
         | paragraphs on history and why the topic is important. A
         | narrative framework helps too, so even if someone doesn't
         | follow all the details, they get a sense of going on a path
         | e.g. from problem to solution. I also try to break up massive
         | chunks of text with photos or diagrams but worry that I lean on
         | this too heavily.
         | 
         | When I read popular books on scientific topics, I try to study
         | the techniques that they use. For example, "An immense world"
         | is crammed full of interesting facts and stories, keeping the
         | book even though it is discussing technical concepts of sensory
         | perception. "Immune" describes the immune system in detail,
         | making heavy use of metaphors and imagery and repeating these
         | throughout the book. Other books focus on the people, moving
         | the technical details into the background.
         | 
         | I'm no expert on this, of course. People seem to like my blog
         | posts, though, so I figured I'd share my thoughts.
        
       | quaddo wrote:
       | Back around 20 years ago I was with an MSP. We depended heavily
       | on having a well written - as current as possible - prod guide
       | for all operations.
       | 
       | At some point it occurred to me that there was likely a way to
       | draw upon the experiences of those who came before us. In my
       | case, it seemed fitting to use newspapers as a reference.
       | 
       | Somewhere I'd come across a concise guideline, a list of do's and
       | don'ts. The only thing I clearly recall now is keeping the key
       | info "above the fold", which is likely something that might
       | puzzle someone who has never handled a newspaper. Even so, the
       | concept is easy to share and grasp.
       | 
       | I wish I'd kept that list. I've tried looking for it within the
       | past couple years, to no avail.
        
       | ARandomerDude wrote:
       | > Don't use adverbs
       | 
       | > There is nothing _inherently_ wrong with adverbs. They are just
       | part of a category of things that I believe are lazy in writing.
       | 
       | Comparing this quote to the rest of the article, it appears the
       | italics convey vocal emphasis. I find it somewhat ironic that
       | "inherently" is an adverb.
        
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