[HN Gopher] How to graduate your PhD when you have no hope
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       How to graduate your PhD when you have no hope
        
       Author : jxmorris12
       Score  : 138 points
       Date   : 2024-03-31 13:12 UTC (9 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (huiwenn.github.io)
 (TXT) w3m dump (huiwenn.github.io)
        
       | thsksbd wrote:
       | Based on my observations, marriage is the most reliable indicator
       | of graduate student success. At least the male ones.
       | 
       | I don't pretend to know if marriage is the cause of success or if
       | it is merely a correlated phenomena. But I've observed it and
       | talking among my circle, so has a top engineering researcher at a
       | top 10 university. This is a man who has graduated scores of
       | students placing half of them at top universities.
        
         | silverquiet wrote:
         | What if women aren't interested in you?
        
           | teaearlgraycold wrote:
           | Keep doing the things that make you into a man that women are
           | interested in.
        
             | throwaway35777 wrote:
             | Go into an industry that's not overly political and where
             | you're useful enough not to be judged on arbitrary
             | qualities like your (a)sexuality.
        
             | aleph_minus_one wrote:
             | > Keep doing the things that make you into a man that women
             | are interested in.
             | 
             | ... like making lots of money. :-D
        
               | teaearlgraycold wrote:
               | Just don't pick someone that has that as one of their top
               | 3 reasons to be with you. But money does help with almost
               | everything.
        
           | telmo wrote:
           | Try to find out why, and please avoid Internet "red pill"
           | stuff. I'm not telling you this as any sort of political
           | statement nor am I trying to fight any culture wars here.
           | This is just the advice of a middle-age guy with perfectly
           | mediocre / average looks, and some life experience.
           | 
           | From what I observe, 9 times out of 10 the problem lies in
           | personality. I know plenty of guys with no money and no looks
           | that have no trouble attracting the interest of the opposite
           | sex. Why? Because they have a great personality, as in, it
           | feels good to be around them. Furthermore, people who rely
           | only on look and status to attract a partner and do not work
           | on themselves are unlikely to have a happy relationship in
           | the long term.
           | 
           | I am not blaming people for having unappealing personalities.
           | This is usually the product of things that are outside of
           | their control, usually some sort of trauma. Life is not fair.
           | A lot of people are traumatized and do not realize it. This
           | can be overcome, but you must want to overcame it and you
           | must be able to face harsh truths. Maybe therapy can help,
           | maybe meditation, maybe even things that are considered "woo"
           | but that allow you to face your demons. Whatever works and
           | clicks with you is a valid answer. All roads lead to Rome if
           | you are courageous enough.
           | 
           | Check out this guy, I have the impression he is particularly
           | suited for the HN demographics:
           | https://www.youtube.com/@HealthyGamerGG
           | 
           | Good luck man, you can do it!
        
             | bckr wrote:
             | Awesome, I recommended the same channel.
        
             | grepLeigh wrote:
             | I also don't want to dredge up culture wars stuff, but just
             | wanted to say it's really nice to see men warning other men
             | away from the redpill path. Thanks for encouraging therapy
             | and self-healing.
        
             | Spooky23 wrote:
             | Good advice.
             | 
             | In my observation, especially as you get out of your 20s,
             | single guys are... kinda phone it in for various reasons.
             | Even moderate effort makes a dude a rockstar.
        
             | silverquiet wrote:
             | Do you think living with my parents due to disability could
             | be an issue?
        
               | j45 wrote:
               | Probably someone else who has had the same experience and
               | understands you completely.
               | 
               | The question comes into whether you've continue to apply
               | self-effort towards your inner growth, like the other
               | person may have.
               | 
               | When we go about seeking our best way, it increases the
               | chances of meeting others doing the same.
        
             | Der_Einzige wrote:
             | This kind of advice is such garbage.
             | 
             | No, reading "come as you are" or any of the shit bell hooks
             | writes doesn't just fix issues for people like the OP.
             | Telling them then that they have a "bad personality" is so
             | fucked up. Personality is subjective, and most people on
             | earth can find others who believe that their own
             | personality is "perfect".
             | 
             | Someone not being successful in the dating market does not
             | necessarily imply that their personality is bad. Saying
             | they have no game and implying that this speaks about their
             | personality is really hurtful. Women's sexual selection is
             | not the arbiter of a good personality - and indeed, given
             | what we know about how seductive dark triad traits are, it
             | may in fact be a signal of a _bad_ personality.
             | 
             | It's pretty bad when you straight up recommend "woo" to
             | people, and effectively say "all roads lead to rome...
             | EXCEPT THE RED PILL!"
             | 
             | The reality is that no matter how garbage Tate et all are,
             | the alternative explanations for why increasingly large
             | amounts of men have no game are so bad that huge swaths of
             | men get seduced by tate's bullshit.
             | 
             | Your kind of response only takes impressionable men who
             | would fall for it and further entrenches their beliefs that
             | the red pill is the "subversive", "real" way that alpha men
             | are ending up with harems while billy the beta ends up
             | making another HN post about typescript
        
               | hilux wrote:
               | Something can be hurtful and true. In fact, it's almost
               | always the case that the most true and important things
               | are hard to hear, hard to believe.
               | 
               | When you can accept that your problems are your own
               | responsibility (which is not the same as "fault"), you'll
               | start to move forward.
               | 
               | Yes, I'm speaking from experience. It's not easy.
        
             | j45 wrote:
             | This channel looks to be a solid recommendation.
             | 
             | Personality is everything, and can be developed from
             | leveraging one's sincere ability to be curious.
             | 
             | As someone who accidentally outgrew gaming after playing
             | them more than anyone I knew, a channel by this name, with
             | this kind of content can shine the path forward to other
             | equally interesting sides of one's self.
             | 
             | In my case, I rediscovered creating and building things was
             | more interesting than playing in others worlds.
             | 
             | I never really quit gaming. I just didn't identify as
             | someone who played games any longer.
        
             | hilux wrote:
             | I can't express how much I appreciate this - thank you!
        
           | bckr wrote:
           | You've got significant foundational work to do. I'd start
           | with Healthy Gamer GG's channel[] and also pick up the book
           | How to Win Friends and Influence People.
           | 
           | [] https://youtube.com/shorts/693UD3V1KSU?si=6IiRwP0Q1qRqErnp
        
             | anewhnaccount2 wrote:
             | You don't know that this person has lots of work to do on
             | themselves. These things are partially a matter of
             | compatibility, putting yourself out there (which is a thing
             | you do rather than a thing you become), and yes,
             | unfortunately, pure dumb luck.
        
               | j45 wrote:
               | Being out there a lot is the dumb luck of human
               | propagation. Seems pretty effective.
        
               | bckr wrote:
               | I do know, because "what if women aren't interested in
               | you" is a question you don't ask after a certain degree
               | of development.
               | 
               | I don't know how long it will take to do this work. With
               | a foundation of personal development and the right
               | attitude, I bet you can go from "what if women aren't
               | interested in me" to successfully dating in under 6
               | weeks.
               | 
               | If you need to learn how to develop yourself, it could
               | take 6 months or more before you're able to internalize
               | the needed lessons.
        
             | silverquiet wrote:
             | Been through it. Never really could take any of this stuff
             | all that seriously. Especially after the woman I ended up
             | closest to passed away. I'm mostly wondering how the people
             | who recommend marriage as a solution to a lot of ills (and
             | I think it's an issue worth exploring but I also think
             | there's a lot of correlation/causation mixups here) expect
             | people to take action on that.
        
               | bckr wrote:
               | My heart goes out to you with regard to the death of your
               | loved one.
               | 
               | Do not let death and grieving pull you permanently out of
               | the realm of intimate relationships.
               | 
               | Human connection is foundational to all kinds of success.
               | Taking it seriously has served me well.
        
               | silverquiet wrote:
               | Loved one is probably overselling it - she cut me loose
               | for the man she would eventually marry and then passed
               | away a few years later, but it certainly made it all seem
               | even more pointless than before.
               | 
               | I'm mostly responding to all the advice I see about the
               | benefits of marriage. My response tends to be something
               | like, "so...?". It occurs to me that no one of these
               | people really talks about the benefits of dating, which
               | seems like a pretty significant prerequisite. And again,
               | I suspect there's a lot of selection effects going into
               | that data as well.
               | 
               | Not that I don't appreciate your comments.
        
           | hotdogscout wrote:
           | Newton died a virgin, averages are defined by average people,
           | don't stress on their anecdote and don't put your value in
           | what women think of you.
        
             | j45 wrote:
             | It's everyone's personal choice but if Newton had some
             | descendants, I wonder how that might have turned out.
        
               | hotdogscout wrote:
               | Mediocre probably. I don't think biology is the
               | bottleneck of great ideas.
               | 
               | https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Einstein_family
        
           | j45 wrote:
           | Everything is a function of the self-effort place into self-
           | growth.
           | 
           | Because everyone's special, and therefore no one is special,
           | there is someone just like you who you will be very
           | compatible with, both in the beginning and growing through
           | the seasons of life together.
           | 
           | It just begins with deciding how you want to look at
           | possibility, or not. Our minds go how and where we focus.
        
         | j7ake wrote:
         | My theory: PhD is inherently unstructured, and requires wading
         | into the unknown without many markers to tell you where you are
         | going.
         | 
         | Marriage creates a structured life outside of work that gives
         | PhDs an anchor to return to periodically. This leads to better
         | long term and consistent progress.
         | 
         | Stephen King describes his success in writing in part due to
         | his successful marriage. There may be some similarities there.
        
           | Solvency wrote:
           | Nonsense as a general rule.
           | 
           | Love my family. love wife and kid. Have never been less
           | productive or efficient in my life.
           | 
           | As a stickler guy between 20 and 34? Relentless productivity,
           | focus, and time.
        
             | bsdpufferfish wrote:
             | People don't typically start a Phd at 34. You're at a
             | different level of maturity now.
        
           | rightbyte wrote:
           | No way. Family puts alot of "make money now" and "be home for
           | dinner" pressure on you. Hardly a good environment for doing
           | research. Not even bringing kids into the equation.
        
             | bsdpufferfish wrote:
             | Research in a Phd program is 90% long term habit, 10%
             | creative musing. Marriage structure helps with that 90%
             | part.
        
               | etrautmann wrote:
               | Having been through all of this, young kids are both
               | wonderful, but definitely restrict the ability to
               | completely focus on a research sprint. While 90% habit is
               | important, there were periods where I needed long hours
               | and focus, and those are harder to find now. Adding
               | finances to that, and I'm really glad that I waited until
               | after my Phd to have kids, though plenty of people do it
               | successfully.
        
               | bsdpufferfish wrote:
               | No disagreement.
        
             | thsksbd wrote:
             | Structured, disciplined, habits make you far more
             | productive than working long hours.
             | 
             | At an old job (natl. lab) there was a guy who does his
             | research job for, maybe, two or three hours a day. The rest
             | of the day he is reading unrelated books.
             | 
             | But those three hours are so productive that by March he
             | has filled his employer's scientific paper quota. His
             | managers hate him because they see his fucking around 70%
             | of the time, but by any performance metric (especially
             | quality. His papers are the consequential ones)he's blowing
             | everyone away.
        
           | donor20 wrote:
           | A lot to this - marriage with no kids. Kids flips this though
           | - you want to be done with the bigger push at that point
        
             | thsksbd wrote:
             | This top engineering professor had two kids in grad school
             | and a third one during his first tenure track job.
             | 
             | His theory is that wife and kids out a gun to his head that
             | he had to learn to swim and quick
        
         | Cloudef wrote:
         | If that's true, the future doesn't look good for male. Honestly
         | though, marriage and having children come with financial
         | stability and good life balance.
        
         | matthewdgreen wrote:
         | Marital status is also correlated with age. Students who enter
         | the PhD having spent a few years working following their
         | undergraduate degree are often a bit more motivated and
         | experienced (though I've had successful students take both
         | paths.)
        
           | VeninVidiaVicii wrote:
           | Likewise people with bigger feet are better at math. Well
           | actually that's just because infants have tiny feet and are
           | notoriously terrible at math.
        
             | wholinator2 wrote:
             | Well that depends on our definition of bigger. If we're
             | saying bigger is "larger than baby feet" then okay but i
             | think a better definition is "larger than the mean/median".
             | Would baby feet drive down the mean/median that much?
        
         | aleph_minus_one wrote:
         | > Based on my observations, marriage is the most reliable
         | indicator of graduate student success. At least the male ones.
         | 
         | At least in math, I would rather say that marriage is a
         | counterindication that a great PhD thesis come out at the end,
         | for the simple reason that being married means that math is
         | only your second love, while writing a great PhD thesis in math
         | requires the topic of your PhD thesis to be your nearly only
         | love for the duration of your PhD studies.
        
           | wholinator2 wrote:
           | Ya know, that makes sense and all. But I'd want to be careful
           | about subtly implying that doing nothing but your research
           | and forgoing personal relationships in favor of work is
           | _better_ than having a life and a little worse thesis. Most
           | of a career in research happens after the PhD anyway, is it
           | possible those "This is my life" people do worse later on,
           | when their potential contributions to fields would be
           | maximizing?
           | 
           | Having a life is an okay thing to want, if for no other
           | reason than the people who are really crazy for it and want
           | nothing but math research aren't going to listen to anyone
           | about relationships anyway. If you find yourself seriously
           | considering turning it down a little bit to find other
           | avenues to personal fulfillment then you might not be one of
           | those crazies and i think that's okay, maybe even better
        
           | thsksbd wrote:
           | My sister is in a relationship with a top, young, number
           | theorist. Ill have to let her know the damage she's doing :D
        
         | brandall10 wrote:
         | Generally it seems both are grad students, or at the very
         | least, met in school and the relationship has an academic
         | foundation.
         | 
         | Imagine having a partner to wade through such an experience who
         | can relate, is pushing you, helping you see your blind spots,
         | quelling your doubts/fears, and in general cheering for your
         | success.
         | 
         | And then the clarity you get for doing the same for them.
         | 
         | There's also the extra level of responsibility that marriage
         | entails, that forces one to 'grow up', for want of a better
         | expression.
        
           | j45 wrote:
           | Not just grow up, but one of the easiest cheat codes to
           | prioritize and increase effectiveness.
        
         | polygamous_bat wrote:
         | There are two factors to this.
         | 
         | 1. If your partner is not in a PhD program themselves, then you
         | can rely on them during what I call "crunch time", and there
         | are a few of those in every PhD when you're doing 16 hour days
         | 7 days a week just to get something out of the door. Single
         | students don't get that luxury and thus inevitably have to be
         | miserable during that period.
         | 
         | 2. Secondly, successfully navigating a relationship/marriage
         | takes a lot of the same skills as successfully navigating a
         | PhD. A good PhD at the end of the day is built on a lot of
         | compromises: between your vision and your advisors', the
         | fields', your collaborators, and if you're interning, your
         | industry partners. A relationship teaches you how to navigate
         | that without burning bridges, which may not be true for a
         | headstrong "I'm gonna change the world but I don't know how"
         | PhD students.
        
           | Beldin wrote:
           | > _A good PhD at the end of the day is built on a lot of
           | compromises: ..._
           | 
           | Don't forget "your skill level". Recognising your own
           | limitations as a researcher is rather important for a PhD
           | student.
        
         | analog31 wrote:
         | My observation is that the married students had a real fire
         | burning under them to get done and out. They had a real
         | tangible motivation.
         | 
         | Disclosure: Married to another PhD student.
         | 
         | Also, somebody to drive you to the hospital when your
         | experiment explodes. Fortunately, she wasn't seriously injured.
        
         | richrichie wrote:
         | Marriage solves the problem of sex. Especially for male phd
         | students. This is a huge factor at that age, and for the
         | species types that are found in phd programs. Takes the edge
         | away, saves time and energy, etc. Not fashionable to talk about
         | it in such terms. But it is a factor.
        
           | Der_Einzige wrote:
           | God if only. Unfortunately, they call it the ol "ball and
           | chain" for a reason.
           | 
           | Most men would happily sleep around with many women as they
           | could if they had a "pass" from their partner. I wouldn't
           | even be surprised if more than half of all married men would
           | describe their sex life in terms like "mediocre" or worse.
           | 
           | Marriage is supposed to solve that issue, but I claim that
           | among other things, falling marriage rates indicate that
           | increasingly large numbers of (usually men) are prioritizing
           | sleeping around over settling down.
        
             | richrichie wrote:
             | Most phd students are not the bar hopping pick up artists.
             | And female students in campuses don't exactly hunt phd
             | students to sleep with either. Marriage works. I am not
             | talking about over 10 or 20 years. But during this period,
             | it solves the problem of sex.
        
               | Der_Einzige wrote:
               | Significant swaths of Ph.D students would abandon all of
               | their scholarly endeavors if they could go bar hopping
               | and be pick-up artists.
               | 
               | "Female students not hunting for Ph.D students" is
               | evidence that, especially for men, getting lots of
               | education is straight up "unattractive".
               | 
               | Why should I even want a Ph.d if all it signals to the
               | other sex is that I'm not just a nerd, but a nerd with a
               | poor ability to calculate ROI. At least a lot of the
               | "jocks" ended up with a good ROI job in finance that they
               | got from their frat brothers rich dad.
        
               | fwip wrote:
               | > Why should I even want a Ph.d if...
               | 
               | I dunno dude, why do you do literally anything in life?
               | Surely your life doesn't revolve around finding a wife.
        
             | wholinator2 wrote:
             | Well, this also discounts the whole "is a problem for the
             | types of guys found in phd programs" thing. Yeah, a large
             | majority of guys would like to sleep with women. It's not
             | just a factor of, "does my wife expect me to not fuck
             | around", and is significantly, "is there anyone in my life
             | that i can actually have sex with". Loneliness is a big
             | deal and for a quiet and introverted, private guy having a
             | wife raises the potential partners from 0 to 1, an
             | infinitely higher amount.
             | 
             | Yeah, if you have the body type and personality type and
             | time and willingness to seek out and sleep with random
             | women then go for it. But just because you don't fit that
             | bill doesn't mean you don't need sexual comfort in your
             | life. (I don't believe you said that, but it's a useful
             | statement for me to make)
        
           | aleph_minus_one wrote:
           | > Marriage solves the problem of sex. Especially for male phd
           | students. This is a huge factor at that age, and for the
           | species types that are found in phd programs.
           | 
           | In my observation among the students who do well in PhD
           | programs, you can find a lot more asexual people than in the
           | general population. In this sense, you are probably right in
           | the argument
           | 
           | > Takes the edge away, saves time and energy, etc.
           | 
           | but for a nearly opposite reason.
        
         | hilux wrote:
         | Checks out - Feynman was married.
        
         | fromMars wrote:
         | Didn't work out for me. I was pursuing a PhD and got married
         | and shortly after had a child. I could no longer comfortably
         | subsist on the salary of a Research Assistant. So I left
         | academia to make more money.
         | 
         | I could imagine marriage helping if one doesn't have kids and
         | the cost of living where the school is located isn't too high
         | or if one's spouse has a successful career.
         | 
         | The advantage of being married is that you don't have to spend
         | as much energy dating and other social activities.
        
       | dmarchand90 wrote:
       | I did a phd and really enjoyed it, a lot of my friends did as
       | well and hated it. Here are some of my thoughts on the matter:
       | 
       | Note this advice is only if you're average or feel average. If
       | you're a superstar and you know it please disregard (but in that
       | case you're probably not reading this anyway).
       | 
       | 1) I had a professor who was very strong in the field and could
       | point me to high impact work and steer me clear of useless
       | activities.
       | 
       | 2) I got a good stipend. I do not recommend borrowing money or
       | living wretchedly for a phd.
       | 
       | 3) My professor hit a good balance between pushing me to work
       | harder and puling back when I felt I was going to hard.
       | 
       | 4) I avoided doing much work as a TA as much as possible. I did
       | the minimum amount that delivered reasonable value to the class
       | and the students.
       | 
       | 5) I avoided working weekends and the evenings. Conversely I put
       | a lot of pressure on myself to do work during work hours.
       | 
       | 6) I would occasionally work holidays and weekends (this only
       | applies to European phds which get 5+ weeks of vacation. Do not
       | go below three weeks vacation. )
       | 
       | 7) I did not try to be "a hero " I didn't do crazy ideas without
       | discussing with my professor first. I didn't take more than the
       | minimum amount of classes and select material that seemed
       | extremely relevant.
       | 
       | 8) I worked a job first (2 years). This made me really appreciate
       | my phd a lot more and gave me a lot of much needed time
       | management and interpersonal work skills.
       | 
       | 9) i avoided reinventing the wheel at all costs.
       | 
       | 10) I learned to say no and said no often
       | 
       | 11) I always yes to social activities
       | 
       | 12) I did hiking on the weekend and running during the week.
       | 
       | 13) I prepared for a non academic career often.
       | 
       | 14) on special occasions I would disregard all the above and work
       | really hard on something. I cannot say how often this happens and
       | it's kind of a spiritual question. Probably no more then 3-4
       | times a year is sustainable and sometimes not even every year.
       | 
       | My goal the whole time was to be a 'forgettable' student.
       | Forgettable in that I tried to avoid being memorably good and
       | avoided being memorably bad.
       | 
       | Of course there were genius peers I worked with and worked the
       | weekends and evenings. I think this was right for them as the act
       | gave them joy and they were producing great results. Conversely
       | some people ground too hard and still didn't have very much to
       | show.
       | 
       | If in doubt and you're freaking out do less. If you're not in
       | doubt and you're getting complacent do more.
        
         | ghaff wrote:
         | >I worked a job first (2 years). This made me really appreciate
         | my phd a lot more and gave me a lot of much needed time
         | management and interpersonal work skills.
         | 
         | I went back to school after a few years to get an MBA. I've
         | never actually managed anyone to this day but it was sort of a
         | prereq for a lot of the types of jobs I was interested in at
         | the time.
         | 
         | It helped that the coursework was easier for me than the
         | engineering degrees I had. But I think there was also
         | discipline and process that came from having been in the
         | working world that definitely helped me do really well in the
         | program.
        
           | dmarchand90 wrote:
           | Yes yes yes. Personally I don't recommend a phd without work
           | experience
        
             | ghaff wrote:
             | It can probably also help with consciously deciding you
             | want to spend a few more years in academia as opposed to
             | just naturally sliding into spending a bunch more years in
             | school as the path of least resistance.
        
         | dmarchand90 wrote:
         | Some other things:
         | 
         | 15) I made time to do whatever impulsive thing my mind felt
         | like doing in my free time. I love video games and after a
         | decade avoiding them because I felt like they were a waste of
         | time, I got back into them.
         | 
         | 16) I still had total freak outs from time to time. I vividly
         | remember googling plumbing classes at community College.
         | (Nothing wrong with plumbing! I bet for 10% of readers the
         | right answer is to drop out of your phd and go into trades)
         | 
         | 17) try not to get drunk too often or high too often. A bit on
         | Friday is ok (you need to self monitor)
        
           | oneepic wrote:
           | I understand this is a bit odd to mention, but it's kinda
           | cool seeing (15) made the list. It's a love-hate thing for
           | me.
        
         | bglazer wrote:
         | I'm finishing a phd now and this is very good advice,
         | especially point number 1.
         | 
         | There are a lot of good, technically fascinating ideas out
         | there. Only a subset of those are interesting to other
         | researchers in your field. As an early career researcher, the
         | first priority is finding projects that other people will care
         | about. It's very very important to find an advisor who knows
         | what others care about. Science is inherently social.
        
       | bckr wrote:
       | I love this advice for activities outside academia as well. Solve
       | the problems in front of you that you can make progress on. Don't
       | spend time trying to weigh the value of the problem based on
       | perceived prestige.
        
       | mo_42 wrote:
       | From my experience, I strongly do _not_ recommended You and Your
       | Research.
       | 
       | When I started my PhD I read this text as well. Of course I was
       | very motivated of doing only important research. After some time
       | I even found a nice research topic and worked on it for over two
       | years. Even my advisor pointed out that it was a very novel and
       | foundational idea.
       | 
       | At the same time, a colleague published three papers in top
       | conferences. Their approach was basically to look at publications
       | from the previous conference, apply some delta that they had an
       | advantage over other teams and publish this in the next round.
       | 
       | Reviewers were happy because their publications already got cited
       | and they understood the topic well.
       | 
       | Whereas my topic used an algorithm from the seventies that
       | reviewers had to revisit. My topic didn't fit so well into the
       | overall conference trend and so I still have way less citations
       | than those incremental works.
       | 
       | When someone asks me if it's worth doing a PhD I tend to say that
       | you need to like the direction in which science is going. If you
       | don't like it and are rather rebellious, it's better to start a
       | company.
        
         | maayank wrote:
         | Interesting take, thanks
        
         | antegamisou wrote:
         | What about pursuing a PhD if you aren't planning to stay in
         | academia? Would its lack bar you from industrial R&D positions?
         | Assuming we're talking about a Computer Science/Engineering
         | discipline.
        
           | yodsanklai wrote:
           | I would say it really depends. There are certainly
           | specialized area where a PhD is important, but it's hit or
           | miss.
           | 
           | For instance, my team (in a big tech company) has people with
           | very diverse backgrounds. Some tasks require more expertise,
           | but most of the work will fit a generalist profile. Some
           | teams who are more "researchy" have probably more PhDs. I
           | feel doing a PhD gave me more time to learn things, while my
           | current position is more fast paced and I can't afford to
           | spend 2 weeks just learning new things.
           | 
           | Financially, it didn't make sense to do a PhD. It's not even
           | super clear what I learned is helpful now but I'm glad I've
           | had this experience. It gave me a bit more perspective and
           | culture of the field. I don't regret doing it. However, I
           | regret going into academia. Being a professor didn't suit me
           | for many reasons. I'm happier in industry.
        
           | hiddencost wrote:
           | Get into the PhD, publish a paper, get internships, and then
           | once you've gotten an internship with a group you're happy
           | with, ask if you can drop out and join them.
        
           | drewg123 wrote:
           | Industry is more than willing to look past a lack of a degree
           | given a good track record. Two of the smartest people I know
           | didn't have undergrad degrees. One started as a lineman for
           | AT&T, and learned programming by tending a computer in a
           | field office, and worked his way up to working at some of the
           | biggest tech companies. Your web browser uses technology he
           | wrote (being cagey, as I'm not sure its commonly know that he
           | doesn't have a degree).
           | 
           | Even academia is willing to look past a lack of a degree for
           | the right person -- my ex-wife's PhD advisor's advisor didn't
           | have a PhD himself (but did foundational work in the field).
        
             | fakedang wrote:
             | > Even academia is willing to look past a lack of a degree
             | for the right person -- my ex-wife's PhD advisor's advisor
             | didn't have a PhD himself (but did foundational work in the
             | field).
             | 
             | These seems like more than a generation ago. Things were
             | very different back then. I think now attaining a PhD (or
             | enrolling in one) is the first step towards even starting
             | out in foundational research. Academia today seems to be
             | more about restricting access to the Ivory tower, rather
             | than democratizing it.
        
         | barbarr wrote:
         | Similar experience here. My PhD research was in a niche (but
         | unhyped) field where it was easy to pump out low-impact papers.
         | My peers who went into more hyped fields had much more
         | citations and much better job outcomes, whether in academia or
         | in industry.
         | 
         | If you want to do high-impact research in the long run, you
         | need to have a strong foundation, which means a solid bed of
         | high-impact papers to point to when you need funding,
         | opportunities, etc.
        
         | opticfluorine wrote:
         | Very similar experience here, and I ended up going directly
         | into industry instead of a postdoc because I had the same
         | realization. I'm glad I did it that way, though, because I'm
         | very proud of my research and I think we did something very
         | interesting and novel.
        
         | lisper wrote:
         | The word "science" is ambiguous. It denotes two very different
         | kinds of activities.
         | 
         | The first is the lofty intellectual ideal of solving a major
         | problem, winning a Nobel, and getting your name in the history
         | books. The second is the daily grind of reading other people's
         | papers, providing peer review, writing grant proposals, and
         | generally interfacing with other humans as a cog in a grand
         | machine. The second is in some sense "easier" than the first.
         | It's a lot more work, takes a lot more time, but it's a
         | relatively straightforward (if often tedious) process that
         | pretty much anyone can do with enough diligence. The first is a
         | lot more fun, can often be done while showering, but is also
         | fraught with risk and dependent on luck. You have to find just
         | the right problem at just the right time under just the right
         | circumstances. You can spend your time slogging, or you can
         | spend your time buying intellectual lottery tickets and hope
         | that lightning strikes, but you can't do both, at least not at
         | at the same time.
         | 
         | The good news is that engaging in the daily slog is often (but
         | not always) good preparation for and improves the odds of
         | having lightning strike. So as a practical matter, that is
         | often a good place to start. You might feel as if you're
         | wasting your time reading everybody else's bullshit papers
         | instead of writing the next Nobel prize winner yourself, but
         | you're not. You're actually an essential part of the process
         | even if you don't end up with the glory. And some day you just
         | might be facing a really hard problem and go, "Wait a minute,
         | this seems kinda like that thing I remember Dr. Arglebargle
         | talking about three years ago, except that he missed this one
         | detail..." and that's when the magic happens.
        
         | yodsanklai wrote:
         | > Their approach was basically to look at publications from the
         | previous conference, apply some delta that they had an
         | advantage over other teams and publish this in the next round.
         | 
         | I think that's it for most PhD students. Look at recent papers
         | from your advisor (or their co-authors). Once you understand
         | that specialized area well-enough, you should be able to find
         | an epsilon that can be added, or to apply some results to a
         | different use case. A 2-3 papers in somewhat decent conferences
         | should be enough to be able to graduate.
         | 
         | Most people won't solve interesting open problems. They will
         | find questions that nobody has asked before, so they can be the
         | first one to answer it.
        
         | Melting_Harps wrote:
         | > When someone asks me if it's worth doing a PhD I tend to say
         | that you need to like the direction in which science is going.
         | If you don't like it and are rather rebellious, it's better to
         | start a company.
         | 
         | While this feeds into the founder kool-aid we all drank as
         | founders, it also speaks volumes of truth to me to this day: I
         | rejected where biology/ecology was going even when supposedly
         | favourable paradigms--Al Gore's inconvenient truth and Carbon
         | Credits were a thing as I was wrapping up my undergrad and I
         | was appalled by both--were standing in front of progress and
         | the most obvious solutions if you could take the small amount
         | of time to familiarize yourself with emerging technology
         | outside your gradschool bubble. Something I don't think
         | academics are actually capable for fear of seeming to reveal
         | themselves as hyper-specialized in one aspect only rather than
         | the polymath they may seem/convinced themselves that they are.
         | 
         | Also, it is my experience most academics are tone-deaf and
         | incredibly petty individuals: a visit with the tenured faculty
         | was enough for me to run for the hills of the debt-laden,
         | financial crisis impacted work-force.
         | 
         | I still visit my Biochemistry professor from time to time, who
         | did well getting into Bitcoin, when I launched my startup
         | working with the Hemp Industry; and I'm super proud of playing
         | a part in that since we both got hit hard during the 2008
         | financial crisis. But I'm glad I turned down his offer to work
         | in his lab and get my Masters and went through boot-strapping
         | hell to launch my startup after working in many Industries just
         | to get by.
         | 
         | It was interesting white boarding about the bio-chemistry of
         | CBD (and other cannabnoids for that matter) infused drinks/food
         | I could pitch to my clients as profitable avenues of growth
         | after struggling to make it to class and 'only get a B-'
         | because I just didn't 'fit' (read: rebellious) the school model
         | at all despite having both honors and letters of recommendation
         | to join two labs.
         | 
         | I'm in Grad school now (almost 20 years since starting my
         | undergrad) for CompSci now, but only because I'm working to
         | transition into Big Data and I already work on the large Data
         | Centers spurred on by the AI hype; luckily it's a non-thesis
         | program for experienced and working professionals (I'm
         | currently on assignment for a sub-contractor in WY).
        
           | sage76 wrote:
           | > most academics are tone-deaf and incredibly petty
           | individuals
           | 
           | Yep, their egos get inflated from interacting with students
           | all the time.
           | 
           | If you have been teaching the same subject for 10 or more
           | years, and you are constantly interacting with people who are
           | learning it for the first time and struggling, it's easy to
           | become arrogant.
           | 
           | I'll go 1 step further and say that most of the advice
           | academics give out in terms of learning has been
           | counterproductive for me.
           | 
           | There have been some exceptions, but I have been disappointed
           | for the most part.
        
             | cqqxo4zV46cp wrote:
             | Yep. I regularly interact with a seasoned academic who is
             | easily one of the top minds in his area. Having him
             | understand that this doesn't mean that he is an expert in
             | _all_ areas a constant uphill battle.
        
         | xk_id wrote:
         | This mentality is the reason why the ratio of funding to
         | groundbreaking work is a disaster compared to the previous
         | century.
        
         | casualscience wrote:
         | Much of the foundational science we learn about in the history
         | books was done by bored rich people. Becoming a bored rich
         | person is still a great strategy if you want to do foundational
         | research. The risks you need to take in order to do that kind
         | of work are too onerous for someone who needs a job to put food
         | on the table.
        
           | MichaelZuo wrote:
           | Someone who needs a job to put food on the table is going to
           | take 4-5 years off to do a PhD?
           | 
           | That doesn't make sense. PhD salaries in most places can
           | barely support one person , if that.
        
             | NegativeK wrote:
             | I think you and your parent comment are saying the same
             | thing.
        
             | mathteddybear wrote:
             | Well, if it is any help, the guy who made this forum once
             | published a book with a collection of his essays. Various
             | topics, including how to become a rich person, in what ways
             | graduate studies are helpful in creating software. Might
             | make sense of putting worldly things in this perspective.
        
             | casualscience wrote:
             | I did so after college, had no money, parents were
             | immigrants with no money but always told me to "follow my
             | dreams". PhD payed enough to eat and live a decent life as
             | a 20-something with no dependents. As I got older, I
             | realized the financial burden I was taking, saw my family
             | get into more and more financial trouble and I felt like a
             | helpless selfish brat "chasing dreams" while my parents
             | were trapped and fighting a losing battle... I finished as
             | fast as I could and got a job in tech.
        
               | MichaelZuo wrote:
               | Those who are actually desperate to put food on the table
               | are not going to spend extra years to finish as fast they
               | can, they just leave. Or they don't start in the first
               | place.
        
           | newswasboring wrote:
           | The only person I know who successfully employed the "Bored
           | rich person" strategy is Stephan Wolfram.
        
             | sieste wrote:
             | I very much doubt that Stephen Wolfram is bored.
        
               | lairv wrote:
               | Has he done any foundational science either ?
        
               | Animats wrote:
               | Yes.
        
             | 7thaccount wrote:
             | You should watch his "live CEO'ing" videos for Mathematica.
             | They're pretty good. He'll be personally testing something
             | out for an upcoming release, something will break and he'll
             | call up whoever was in charge of that function or module
             | and start asking a bunch of questions.
        
             | casualscience wrote:
             | hmm, I think the entire FIRE movement is basically about
             | this, no? Some people want to just do gardening or
             | whatever, but if your hobby is science, that's totally fine
             | too. Not every kind of science can be done on the cheap,
             | but basically any theoretical work can be.
        
           | 7thaccount wrote:
           | That's why I have high hopes for humanity once we get closer
           | to post scarcity (if we ever get close). Sure..some people
           | will just watch TV all day, but I'd expect I'd start sitting
           | down with math books and eventually finally learn the stuff I
           | never had the time for when trying to put food on the table.
           | 
           | The rich person life back in the day was having personal
           | tutors at a young age teaching you Latin, Greek, rhetoric,
           | mathematics, music, and so on. Then if you were really good
           | you'd just work on whatever problems you fancied, while the
           | rest of the family probably took care of the fortune. That's
           | my very limited understanding for how it worked for some
           | anyway. They would correspond with other scientists, but
           | mostly focus on their work. There's some advantage to the
           | university system, but the administrative beauracracy is
           | intense. Writing government grants or proposals and so on is
           | an enormous time suck. If you didn't need money, you could
           | focus 100% on whatever you want.
        
         | hinkley wrote:
         | And yet programmed love rehashing arguments from 1973.
         | 
         | I wonder sometimes, how many of the people arguing endlessly
         | and religiously about concurrency primitives realize that they
         | are debating "religious" texts from the same prophet, Sir Tony
         | Hoare. But as you say, the lack of immediacy does seem to mess
         | with our heads.
        
         | j2kun wrote:
         | I had a different experience. I aimed for what your colleague
         | did, but none of my work was good enough for top tier
         | conferences, so I ended up with neither novel nor top-tier
         | work.
         | 
         | So I think both options really depend on what you can deliver
         | and in what timeframe.
        
         | userabchn wrote:
         | I chose an ambitious/important topic for my PhD. Perhaps it is
         | because stories usually have happy endings, causing us to be
         | overly optimistic, but I imagined that if I just worked really
         | hard on it then eventually I would solve it. In the end I did
         | enough to get the degree, but I didn't solve the problem in any
         | real way. It was five years of struggle that didn't produce any
         | interesting results. The biggest learning for me from the PhD
         | was that it made me more humble and caused me to doubt that
         | something is possible unless a clear path to it is already
         | visible.
        
           | amatic wrote:
           | That is also a difficult problem - how do you know
           | beforehand, that a problem is worthwhile? That someone _else_
           | thinks it is important? Or how high is  "ambitious" if you
           | never tried to do a thing? There is a lot of luck in that
           | system.
        
           | newswasboring wrote:
           | I don't know you, neither your life, but if a university
           | granted you a PhD you must have made some headway on the
           | problem. It is possible that you made a bunch of progress but
           | "not enough" from your perspective. We have some evidence
           | that you did good work (your PhD) and no evidence (afaik)
           | that your struggle didn't produce any interesting results.
           | 
           | I think you might be being too harsh on yourself.
        
             | hx8 wrote:
             | If you work hard for five years you are going to have some
             | tangible things to show for it. To me it sounds like he
             | didn't accomplish as much as he originally hoped, and he
             | suspects the opportunity cost of continuing with the work
             | is too high.
        
               | jimz wrote:
               | Considering on how many people are routinely influenced
               | by the sunk cost fallacy when making their decisions,
               | perhaps even that awareness on when to fold is a part of
               | the critical process a good academic goes through in the
               | course their research. The economy and politics have
               | forced me to pivot and without enough self-awareness to
               | realize when to leverage some other skill or the ability
               | to learn another set of skills based on my prior
               | education, even if it meant moving or changing to a field
               | that isn't immediately obvious. I think it's a useful
               | sanity check at times.
               | 
               | That is sort of the point of a liberal arts education
               | broadly, no? It's not a trade school (although I did
               | spend my 20s at a glorified one and worked in what really
               | was a fancy service industry gig - the law - that is
               | partially obstructed by the sort of things at stake that
               | we deal with, but is fundamentally a service and very
               | much one that is customer-facing. I was one of the first
               | few to quit from those in my graduating class that I kept
               | touch with as well.) Owners of sports franchises, worth
               | billions of dollars, fail to understand concepts like
               | this. Those in charge of large companies, with
               | externalities being constraints that we might not see in
               | fairness but still having control of the narrative more
               | or less, fail to demonstrate this. The government and
               | policymakers either ignore or are ignorant of this on
               | more occasions than one can count. Although it's hard to
               | say what would've happened in the alternative, the
               | initiative does alter the dynamics one would eventually
               | have with their new situation, speaking personally. At
               | least I'm not routinely putting in 75-80 hour weeks which
               | is liberating in its own way even if it was routine
               | enough that few bat an eye when put in that position at
               | the start, judging from what my friends mostly ended up
               | doing and not doing.
               | 
               | But the imposter syndrome thing does haunt as well. It
               | takes a while to realize that one hears about plane
               | crashes because planes not crashing do not make the news,
               | after all, and the actual rate of crashes, incidents, and
               | near-misses can be and usually ends up haphazardly
               | reported at best if one doesn't dig into the official
               | quotidian, and jargon-filled language of official
               | reports, and I don't think that it's part of society's
               | expectation for the average person even if it's both an
               | apt analogy and something to look up if one has the time.
        
           | aleph_minus_one wrote:
           | It is well-known that PhD theses are made out of the
           | fragments of broken life dreams.
        
         | tuatoru wrote:
         | Just like undergraduate work, your PhD thesis is practise. For
         | the PhD, in the mechanics of doing large scale research and
         | participating in the community. Save the novel and profound
         | stuff for post-doctoral work.
        
         | jenny91 wrote:
         | So who enjoyed and got more out of their research, you or the
         | one doing trivial twists in the latest saturated field?
        
         | Animats wrote:
         | > When someone asks me if it's worth doing a PhD I tend to say
         | that you need to like the direction in which science is going.
         | If you don't like it and are rather rebellious, it's better to
         | start a company.
         | 
         | Right. I got an MSCS from Stanford in 1985. That was about when
         | it was becoming clear that expert systems were a dead end. The
         | Stanford faculty was heavily invested in expert systems at the
         | time, and were in serious denial. This was the beginning of the
         | "AI Winter". I could see this, because I'd been doing proof of
         | correctness work, where machine-powered predicate calculus
         | could deliver results. It was clear to me that those methods
         | were too brittle for the real world, although they worked fine
         | on the rigid world of computer programs. Hammering the real
         | world into predicate calculus only works if you already almost
         | know the answer. (Drew McDermott's essay, "Artificial
         | Intelligence meets Natural Stupidity" is the classic commentary
         | on that.)
         | 
         | There were some neural net people around, but they were stuck,
         | too, partly because they needed a few more orders of magnitude
         | more compute power before that approach started working. Neural
         | nets had been around for decades, and on a good day in 1970 you
         | could recognize handwritten numerals, slowly. Computer power
         | wasn't increasing that fast in those days. In 1970, there were
         | 1 MIPS mainframes, and in the early 1980s, there were 1 MIPS
         | VAXes. Success with neural nets lay many orders of magnitude in
         | compute and several decades ahead.
         | 
         | So, instead of academia, I did some stuff for a little company
         | called Autodesk.
         | 
         | I never expected computer science to be captured by the ad
         | industry.
        
       | bsdpufferfish wrote:
       | "have no hope" actually means someone at the department refuses
       | to sign your papers. I have never been treated with so little
       | respect in industry.
        
       | quantum_state wrote:
       | Like everything else, it's a journey of exploration combining
       | idealism and pragmatism with curiosity at the core. As some of
       | the humble examples Feynman provided, when one digs into them,
       | one would see the connection, intrigued and enlightened ... and
       | it would become an enjoyable and fruitful journey ...
        
       | bradrn wrote:
       | Key sentence (quoted from a letter of Feynman's):
       | 
       | > The worthwhile problems are the ones you can really solve or
       | help solve, the ones you can really contribute something to. A
       | problem is grand in science if it lies before us unsolved and we
       | see some way for us to make some headway into it.
        
       | Cheer2171 wrote:
       | A problem with marriage during the Phd is the inevitable two body
       | problem. Academia privileges being itinerant. One reason I quit
       | my PhD program for industry was because I saw how those ahead of
       | me who wanted to stay in the same region were seen as failures or
       | not serious.
       | 
       | I was excited for my friend who got a postdoc in another prof's
       | lab in the same department, who didn't have to move across the
       | country with his wife and newborn child. And my advisor taught me
       | to pity him instead, "he could have gone to MIT if he applied,
       | but now everyone will assume he couldn't get a postdoc anywhere
       | else". If you "win" then you have to move for a postdoc, then to
       | "win" again means moving again for a faculty position.
        
         | YeGoblynQueenne wrote:
         | That kind of thinking is such self-defeating misery. If you
         | have something to contribute, it doesn't matter where you go.
         | You go to the University of Nowhere In Particular and make it a
         | center of the new hot subject in research. If you can't do
         | that, then it doesn't matter if you go to MIT or TIM or
         | whatever, because that's just a way to earn renown from the
         | work of others, rather than your own.
        
           | lostdog wrote:
           | Most people become closer to the average of their colleagues.
           | Very very few people are so strong by themselves that they
           | can raise the level of a place just by being there
           | individually.
        
             | aleph_minus_one wrote:
             | > Very very few people are so strong by themselves that
             | they can raise the level of a place just by being there
             | individually.
             | 
             | If you are not at least a person who _might_ have this
             | property, you likely aren 't PhD material.
        
               | Ar-Curunir wrote:
               | Everybody at the target institution also has a PhD;
               | that's the minimum bar to cross.
        
       | javajosh wrote:
       | I've often felt that there is something inherently unwholesome
       | about PhDs and the modern academic effort. As if we could create
       | research factories, and that the quality and quantity of
       | discoveries would scale with input (money). I'm not a historian
       | of science, but I do know that many of our greatest scientists
       | were not professional researchers, doing the work essentially in
       | their spare time on the side (Einstein, Newton) or more
       | typically, because of the support of a wealthy patron.
       | Contributors self-selected for passion and talent mixed with a
       | juicy problem. It makes sense to park people with passion and
       | talent but NOT a juicy problem into a teaching position until
       | that problem ripens. But instead you get careerist, low-impact
       | papers - even negative-impact papers if you taken into account
       | the impact on signal-to-noise ratio such papers have.
       | 
       | Consider that one of the more important papers in CS in the last
       | 20 years was "Attention is all you need", which was a side-effect
       | of the authors day jobs. Or the many contributions of open-source
       | which are 99% hobbyists. There is some sort of perversion that
       | happens when you "fund research" - it removes the spontaneity and
       | changes the selection criteria from something "natural" (passion
       | and time and results) to something "synthetic" (grant
       | application). It would seem to me a more sensible approach to
       | become a car mechanic or programmer and do your original science
       | on the side.
        
         | bglazer wrote:
         | It's telling that your examples are theoretical physics, math,
         | and computer science.
         | 
         | You should visit a lab that does actual experiments. I don't
         | think anyone is doing cryo electron microscopy in their spare
         | time. Most science just takes a lot of time and money. No way
         | around it.
         | 
         | Also, most research is incremental, and thats's totally fine.
         | People lionize the "great men" like Einstein who have these
         | earth-shattering discoveries, but those aren't really worth
         | anything without the decades of exploration and hundreds of
         | scientists testing theories and figuring out their consequences
         | and implications.
        
         | dmarchand90 wrote:
         | I mean option one is always going to be there. I'm sure there
         | are plenty of neo-aristocrats who can do science if they want.
         | 
         | The problem, honestly, is an ancient one. In plato's republic
         | he complains about a lack of state funding for geometry :
         | 
         | " Then take a step backward, for we are out of order, and
         | insert the third dimension which is of solids, after the second
         | which is of planes, and then you may proceed to solids in
         | motion. But solid geometry is not popular and has not the
         | patronage of the State, nor is the use of it fully recognized;
         | the difficulty is great, and the votaries of the study are
         | conceited and impatient. Still the charm of the pursuit wins
         | upon men, and, if government would lend a little assistance,
         | there might be great progress made. "
         | 
         | https://www.gutenberg.org/files/1497/1497-h/1497-h.htm
        
         | Ar-Curunir wrote:
         | Einstein had a PhD...
        
       | eslaught wrote:
       | I had my own "oh shit" moment in my PhD, which I wrote about
       | among other things, here:
       | 
       | https://elliottslaughter.com/2024/02/legion-paper-history
       | 
       | I'll just add one more comment: it's entirely possible to feel
       | like everything you're doing is worthless, when in fact you are
       | on the brink of accomplishing something worthwhile. That's not to
       | say that every research project is worthwhile, but "how I feel
       | right now" is maybe not the best indicator of how you are
       | actually doing.
        
       | gtmitchell wrote:
       | As a counter example, I will offer my own experience in graduate
       | school. I was one of the few married students and observed that
       | nearly all the successful graduates students had the following in
       | common:
       | 
       | 1. They had competent PhD advisors 2. The advisors had stable
       | funding sources 3. They were single
       | 
       | Of those three, #1 and #2 were by far the most important. Certain
       | professors just knew how to run a good lab and were able to
       | shepherd their students through the program efficiently.
       | 
       | As for the impact of #3, I found as a married student I had to
       | balance my research and teaching responsibilities with the needs
       | of my spouse. It added a level of mental and emotional stress my
       | single colleagues didn't have to deal with.
       | 
       | Ultimately, my balancing act was unsuccessful. I eventually
       | dropped out of my PhD program and ended up divorced.
       | 
       | So yeah, based on my anecdotal (N=1) experience, being married
       | doesn't not help you to be successful in graduate school.
        
         | gogobio wrote:
         | To be honest, I found the exact opposite to be true. I agree
         | with the author regarding the happiness during grad school
         | being directly related to being married.
         | 
         | As a matter of fact, I don't think I would have finished my PhD
         | had my wife not supported me mentally, economically, and in
         | spirit. I've observed our single students struggle, complaining
         | about having to do chores after classes, clean, cook, look
         | after themselves. Whereas my spouse was supportive and
         | understanding, she took a colossal load off my shoulders - I
         | could concentrate on my studies and had little to no worries
         | outside of school. We both worked, but she worked full time to
         | support us and got a master's degree, so she knew all too well
         | that grad school isn't peanuts.
         | 
         | I think it's more so about having a good spouse who is
         | understanding and supportive, who can meet you halfway.
        
           | bachmeier wrote:
           | I wrote my response while you posted, but it basically
           | supports what I was saying.
           | 
           | > I think it's more so about having a good spouse
           | 
           | I wouldn't say it's about a "good" spouse. It's tough, and if
           | it's too much for the spouse, maybe the grad student should
           | consider dropping out. Nobody knows how it's going to work
           | until they do it. This is especially true if they moved far
           | from home for grad school.
        
           | hilux wrote:
           | This brought a smile to my face - so happy for both of you.
        
         | bachmeier wrote:
         | Likely a different field, but
         | 
         | > 1. They had competent PhD advisors
         | 
         | I'd say fit is very important. Some advisors will provide
         | students with feedback, give them direction, and wait for the
         | students to come back with output. Other advisors will
         | micromanage students, give them tight deadlines, get upset if
         | they don't strictly follow everything they say and every
         | deadline, and generally give the student no freedom to do
         | anything on their own.
         | 
         | The thing to keep in mind is that grad students usually work
         | well in one of those environments, but few students will thrive
         | in both.
         | 
         | > as a married student I had to balance my research and
         | teaching responsibilities with the needs of my spouse. It added
         | a level of mental and emotional stress my single colleagues
         | didn't have to deal with.
         | 
         | This can go in several directions. Your experience is obviously
         | the most common. In some cases the spouse is counting on the
         | grad student to finish and get a high-paying job. They take
         | care of everything like paying bills, shopping, cooking, etc.
         | I've also seen cases where the spouse sacrificed so the grad
         | student could finish (so they could have a higher income and
         | start a family) and it put so much pressure on the grad student
         | that they were breaking down.
        
       | xqcgrek2 wrote:
       | Unfortunately, these days science (to get jobs and research
       | money) is all about hype, networking, or big collaborations.
       | 
       | Very few people are trying to do work that is not incremental or
       | something without hype potential in the next 3 years.
        
       | Upvoter33 wrote:
       | This was a pretty wise article from a young person. The PhD path
       | can be tough, and there are always low points, even for people
       | who are doing well.
       | 
       | The one thing I always thought about was the old joke about
       | medical school.
       | 
       | Q: "What do they call the person who graduates medical school
       | with the lowest GPA in the class?
       | 
       | A: "A doctor"
        
         | JoeAltmaier wrote:
         | Same in the military. "What do the sergeants call the last-
         | place graduate of West Point? Sir."
        
       | chriskanan wrote:
       | I read the book "Getting what you came for" before starting my
       | PhD and took that to heart for graduating. It basically argued
       | one does not need to do their best work during their PhD as
       | that's the start of one's career. What made me sad was after I
       | realized my area wasn't one anyone was hiring for faculty for
       | (deep learning and AI by around 2011), and that the people who
       | did get interviews had an astronomical number of papers (in AI
       | generally but nobody cared about neural networks). I fortunately
       | got a faculty job after applying to 30 universities in 2013 where
       | I got one offer and was their third choice. I got lucky, deep
       | learning exploded, and my career took off. Many people tried to
       | steer me away from AI and especially neural nets, including some
       | of my committee members for the latter.
       | 
       | Regardless, another factor in my success was having a somewhat
       | crazy officemate who would work 30 hours straight and then sleep
       | 13 hours, 7 days per week (we are still good friends and he is
       | now a well known deep learning theory professor). I couldn't do
       | that, but the zeal with which he pushed himself motivated me a
       | lot (although he also gave me imposter syndrome since we took
       | some proof heavy courses where he would be done in a couple hours
       | what would take me days to do the same assignments).
       | 
       | I definitely don't recommend having kids during a PhD, as I've
       | seen many students and peers struggle tremendously. A partner is
       | great, especially if they are equally busy (mine was in medical
       | school across the country), because one isn't going to really get
       | a lot of nights and weekends if you are really pushing yourself.
       | My advisor never pushed me, but I pushed myself very hard.
       | 
       | Still, if one just wants a PhD, what one needs is a good advisor
       | who can steer one towards problems that are tractable given the
       | student's abilities, stable funding (most programs worth doing
       | are reasonably stable), and not trying to think one must do the
       | most amazing work of their lives during their PhDs. It is a lot
       | of work, but a career in research and the privilege of
       | cultivating the next generation is really what makes me feel
       | self-actualized.
       | 
       | I try to find low-hanging fruit research projects for my PhD
       | students in their first few years to build up their confidence
       | and then have them pursue harder problems, where if the harder
       | ones don't work out they still hopefully have enough stuff to
       | form a dissertation. I often find myself needing to be more of a
       | cheerleader for my students nowadays, though, since my field
       | exploded and reviewers seem much less competent. Rejected papers
       | for good work hurts mental health.
        
       | photochemsyn wrote:
       | A PhD program is an investment of years of your life with an
       | uncertain outcome - and as with other investments, due diligence
       | matters. Researching the program you're entering and the PI
       | you'll be working for (not 'with', for) are critically important
       | steps. When interviewing for a lab, pay particular attention to
       | their anti-fraud procedures (data retention, lab notebook policy,
       | etc.). Read everything they've published - is it coherent, or
       | obfuscated?
       | 
       | Secondly, you have to have an income, meaning a stipend that
       | allows you to lead a normal-ish life, and if the only way you can
       | get paid is to teach classes, then your time for doing research
       | will be cut in half. Likewise a decent PI will be looking for
       | certain characteristics that make investing in you a good idea -
       | intelligence, diligence, tenacity, etc.
       | 
       | The vast majority of grad students won't publish anything very
       | significant as a grad student, so don't worry about that so much.
       | Something like 75% of published papers don't get a citation count
       | > 10, and that's often just the PI citing their own umbrella of
       | work. This may appear like wasteful use of resources, but the
       | significant research can be so valuable to society and industry
       | that even a 5% success rate is worth the societal investment.
       | 
       | As far as careers, social networking is the academic game, but
       | skill development is what counts more in industry, and most grad
       | students don't go into academic research careers (as production
       | of PhDs >> open academic positions). Teaching skills are
       | undervalued in the USA, incidentally.
       | 
       | P.S. being happy half the time is good enough; trying to be happy
       | all the time tends towards manic behavior, and often eventual
       | nervous breakdown.
        
       | epstein wrote:
       | Easy. Just redefine hope. Problem solved.
        
       | pbj1968 wrote:
       | Go get a PhD and then spend your prime years of family making as
       | a post doc with a $60k salary. It's ludicrous and the system only
       | works if your family is wealthy or your spouse has a better
       | paying job.
        
         | sieste wrote:
         | phd and academia is a terrible career choice of you want to be
         | wealthy. even most "rich professors" could make much more in
         | industry. this career only makes sense once you factor in the
         | value of working on your own interesting and diverse problems,
         | being surrounded by curious and intelligent people, while
         | enjoying the freedom of developing your research into whatever
         | direction you please. and this starts as a phd student. if, as
         | an academic, you ever feel like you don't have most of these
         | benefits, while not making enough money to get by, you should
         | leave.
        
       | runeblaze wrote:
       | Just want to put out here that being neurodivergent is an easy
       | route to lose hope. Most people / professors are neurotypical and
       | they guide you through their neurotypical lens, as they have
       | previously found success doing.
        
       | Two4 wrote:
       | I have a friend who coaches all kinds of postgrads through their
       | theses/treatises (masters all the way to postdoc) - the number
       | one thing that keeps her in business is shitty supervisors and
       | the soul crushing grind of academia. PhDs (and masters theses)
       | are primarily about project management, with time, money and
       | morale being the primary resources dealt with. Almost invariably,
       | morale runs out first, and then time, because the work isn't
       | being done. Managing morale is as important as managing your time
       | and money, and supervisors almost never impart that skill.
        
       | Joel_Mckay wrote:
       | Depends on the faculty, but in most cases you are still
       | indentured unless fully sponsored with a grant or bursary. Most
       | people project their own esoteric interests on what they think
       | the world should care about, but almost all are wrong most of the
       | time.
       | 
       | Research institutions are like hermit-crab populations, and
       | "science advances one funeral at a time" as some observed... One
       | finds competitive sociopaths tend to do very well in such
       | political climates.
       | 
       | Ones instincts likely tell you my opinions must be ill informed,
       | but that was also predictable given the decades of training. ;-)
        
       | lsuresh wrote:
       | Most researchers do not do their best work during their PhD, but
       | after it. The PhD is simply the training you need for a research
       | career. It's an easy path to disillusionment when PhD students
       | don't realize this (often because advisors don't do a good job
       | helping the students set reasonable expectations and goals).
       | 
       | It's good to be ambitious in problem selection. But a huge part
       | of the training is to learn how to break down hard problems into
       | reasonable increments that you can attempt to solve, one at a
       | time.
        
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