[HN Gopher] Learning to be managed
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       Learning to be managed
        
       Author : zemike
       Score  : 55 points
       Date   : 2024-02-29 19:06 UTC (3 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (medium.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (medium.com)
        
       | zemike wrote:
       | Hi HN,
       | 
       | First time sharing anything I have written.
       | 
       | Lately I have been wondering about how to be managed properly. I
       | feel like I have not gotten what I wanted out of my career.
       | 
       | This is my attempt at learning more about the subject, and
       | sharing with people that are going through a similar struggle.
       | 
       | Hope that it is useful. :)
        
       | barrenko wrote:
       | Thanks, we need more articles like these.
        
       | tra3 wrote:
       | That's an interesting post, especially in the context of being
       | promoted. After being in the industry for many years, I'm just
       | now becoming aware of this stuff, particularly as it relates to
       | the promotion culture and "making impact". Google is famously
       | known for shipping, but not maintaining.
       | 
       | "Managing up" is a useful concept for how to interact with your
       | managers. Post from a few years back that has useful sources:
       | Design Patterns for managing up [0]. Hand in hand goes this
       | Australian Gov't work book for Assertiveness:
       | 
       | > Assertiveness means expressing your point of view in a way that
       | is clear and direct, while still respecting others.
       | 
       | 0: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18988939
       | 
       | 1: https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/Resources/Looking-After-
       | You...
        
         | zemike wrote:
         | Thank you for sharing these sources with me! I will have a
         | look.
         | 
         | I would not say I am trying to "manage up", but I am definitely
         | trying to be a lot more active in my growth process. In the
         | past I kept waiting for things to happen, and thought my
         | manager would have all the answers. Now, I want to be an active
         | part of that conversation and find the right path.
        
       | Aurornis wrote:
       | Great managers will feel natural to work with. You won't have to
       | learn how to work with them because they'll meet you as a person
       | and guide you toward succeeding in your role as needed.
       | 
       | Unfortunately, many managers are not natural managers but have
       | instead learned how to "manage" from books, blogs, podcasts, and
       | trying to imitate people they see as powerful.
       | 
       | My biggest lifehack for dealing with these people is to learn
       | what books and other resources they used to teach themselves
       | management, then study what those books portray as the ideal
       | employee. Your job is now to play the role of that ideal employee
       | and set the stage for the manager to feel like the ideal manager.
       | It takes a bit of restraint and the performance can feel fake at
       | times, but as long as you play the role they want to see and you
       | make it easy for them to play the role they think they should
       | play, you're going to do well in their eyes.
       | 
       | At minimum, I suggest every employee read a couple books like the
       | Manager's Path book linked in the article so it's easier to
       | identify when weak managers are trying to implement things they
       | read from a book. It's like a cheat code to navigating managers
       | who outsource their thinking to books and try to reduce every
       | situation to something they read or heard a podcast about.
       | 
       | In my last case, my manager read a book about all about how
       | managers shouldn't solve problems for their employees, they
       | should only give coaching for employees to solve their own
       | problems. He went full cargo cult on that advice and literally
       | stopped helping us get things done within the company. His only
       | response to any issues we raised would be a long string of
       | leading questions and coaching, but he refused to actually _do_
       | anything. I fought this for a long time until he mentioned the
       | name of the book, I read it, and I realized that I had to start
       | making him think that he was _coaching me_ to a solution whenever
       | I really needed _him_ to use his position to do his job. It took
       | some mental gymnastics, but after I unlocked his secret I became
       | good at navigating around him to get things done.
        
         | onthecanposting wrote:
         | I really admire those with the ability to conform themselves to
         | a work place to be successful. I've always been candid, and I
         | am occasionally at odds with management when polite lies are
         | expected. Those I've managed appreciate the sincerity, but I
         | would hardly describe my career as successful.
        
         | IshKebab wrote:
         | Genius idea, though I feel like you shouldn't have to do that
         | in the first place. Like, I've been criticised by people for
         | editing "their" code without talking to them first (in a shared
         | project that we're all working on). My boss's ideal solution is
         | for me to kowtow to their egos so he doesn't have to deal with
         | it. No thank you. You go and tell _them_ to stop being
         | possessive of code that they don 't own; they just happened to
         | write. It's not my job to deal with their issues.
        
       | tomcar288 wrote:
       | the management techniques mentioned in the article are all valid
       | but i'm going to play devils advocate here and say that not
       | getting that promotion isn't necessarily a failure, rather the
       | goal was not realistic.
       | 
       | Don't assume that whether or not you get a promotion is always in
       | your control. Don't assume your performance rating is entirely in
       | your control or even mostly in your control. sometimes you can
       | perform really well and it won't get you anything. and sometimes
       | you can perform mediocre and still get lots of promotions and
       | bonuses.
       | 
       | and why do you really want to get a promotion? if you just want
       | more money, the most effective way to achieve that is to look for
       | another job. doing that, you'll get far larger raises far more
       | quickly.
        
         | mettamage wrote:
         | I did my best at not being promoted. Promotion equals change. I
         | really liked my salary and remote position. Any extra
         | responsibility would require me to do more work. Sure, I'd get
         | paid more but the stress would outweigh the pay.
         | 
         | If you're ever down with not getting a promotion, just know
         | that there are ways to think about it that might be
         | constructive.
        
           | frakt0x90 wrote:
           | This is where I am. I'm remote senior level and got offered
           | principal but 3 days in office which would mean moving cities
           | and WAY more pressure in a department that's had issues.
           | Probably a 50k raise but I'm doing fine as is. I'll keep my
           | sanity.
        
           | zigman1 wrote:
           | Cool, but I'm not sure that's the topic of conversation.
        
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