[HN Gopher] Ask HN: What are the best articles on managing people?
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       Ask HN: What are the best articles on managing people?
        
       I recently found out about
       https://blog.sbensu.com/posts/lieutenants/ & was curious what are
       your favorite articles on management or generally managing people?
        
       Author : deadcoder0904
       Score  : 171 points
       Date   : 2024-02-11 17:53 UTC (5 hours ago)
        
       | jodrellblank wrote:
       | 15 years ago, RandsInRepose.com wrote a lot of interesting blog
       | posts on management, and then turned them into books:
       | https://randsinrepose.com/archives/
        
         | quag wrote:
         | The article about types of one on ones has stuck with me:
         | https://randsinrepose.com/archives/the-update-the-vent-and-t...
        
           | svilen_dobrev wrote:
           | oh dear..
           | 
           | i wish one day i have such a Manager.. before i'm dead anyway
           | (~40y making sw.. still some more to go). i am under
           | "CTO"-label now but that does not make any difference..
        
       | notjustanymike wrote:
       | Not an article, but I do frequently recommend the following:
       | 
       | Multipliers - an excellent book on how to avoid becoming a
       | stereotypical bad boss. Chapters are easy to read independently
       | and have great summaries at the end.
       | 
       | Crucial Conversations - good for both professional and personal
       | conversations. Learn how to have a difficult conversation without
       | burning down the relationship.
       | 
       | Finally, look up SOON (acronym) for when someone you manage comes
       | to you seeking guidance.
        
         | scrapcode wrote:
         | Difficult to find anything meaningful for "SOON" in G. Can you
         | elaborate?
        
           | quag wrote:
           | SOON is new to me. I think it stands for "Success, Obstacles,
           | Options, and Next steps". Which is a decent list of things to
           | zoom in on when people are working on things for you.
           | 
           | https://trainingindustry.com/articles/performance-
           | management...
        
       | ochronus wrote:
       | Shameless plug: https://leadership.garden/
        
       | ochronus wrote:
       | https://review.firstround.com/ is great, too (not 100%
       | leadership/management)
        
       | squadleader wrote:
       | Just a meta-comment - if you're new to all this, it's good to
       | know that management != leadership. If you're starting out,
       | you'll want to learn both, and you'll need both.
       | 
       | More practically, here's a fun blog where you can ask specific
       | questions: https://www.askamanager.org/
        
         | davidg109 wrote:
         | ^ THIS. Where I've worked, there has been a severe degradation
         | over time of actual leaders, and an increase in managers who
         | have no clue how to lead or inspire.
         | 
         | One thing I have oriented myself to doing is being a servant
         | leader. As I told one team I led, "I'm your bitch. Tell me
         | where your rocks are and I'll move them out of the way so you
         | can get your work done." And then I do exactly that. I've had
         | to work miracles sometimes but I can usually clear the path.
         | 
         | I detest micro management in every conceivable way, but I do
         | believe in accountability and ensuring the work is done on time
         | by the team with no surprises. This has worked well for me.
         | 
         | Been some time since I read about this stuff but Five
         | Dysfunctions of a Team I recall being descent. Summary article
         | here: https://www.runn.io/blog/5-dysfunctions-of-a-team-summary
        
           | fifilura wrote:
           | My experience regarding the servant manager is that it is
           | really important that you also figure out what is in it for
           | you.
           | 
           | There is a big risk that your career stops at that - being a
           | servant.
        
             | mft_ wrote:
             | The best managers/leaders I've had in this vein are
             | sufficiently recognised for their part in the performance
             | of their team.
             | 
             | Wouldn't it be a small red flag about an organisation if
             | this wasn't the case?
        
               | fifilura wrote:
               | Will your next workplace value all the effort you spent
               | that way?
               | 
               | Are the servant tasks even what you want to spend your
               | time with?
               | 
               | I am not suggesting that the answer to those questions
               | has to be "no". But good to think about it.
        
               | mft_ wrote:
               | Interesting questions.
               | 
               | > Will your next workplace value all the effort you spent
               | that way?
               | 
               | I'd hope so - as it's reasonable to assume that a next
               | role for someone already managing/leading would involve
               | more management/leadership. So yes,
               | skills/achievements/examples in that area should be
               | valued.
               | 
               | > Are the servant tasks even what you want to spend your
               | time with?
               | 
               | It's probably not for everyone; but if someone doesn't
               | want to perform the tasks that (many would say) are
               | necessary to be a good manager/leader, maybe they
               | shouldn't be in a manager/leader position in the first
               | place?
        
             | dasil003 wrote:
             | This is a strange comment. Everyone in a corporate
             | structure is a servant. How you advance is by demonstrating
             | that you are helping solve the problems deemed important by
             | your chain of command. Theoretically this should be aligned
             | from top to bottom; in practice competing priorities,
             | communication overhead, and incompetence in the wrong
             | places can greatly distort things. This reality leads a lot
             | of folks into learned helplessness, and social climbers
             | gaming the chaos to gain power they are not equipped to
             | handle.
             | 
             | The mentality "what's in it for me" is toxic and shows one
             | is not ready for higher level management in a large org
             | where cooperation is necessary to do anything interesting.
             | Better questions are "is my team working on the right
             | thing?", "does my team have the right skills to deliver on
             | that thing?", "what relationships do we need to succeed?",
             | and last but definitely not least "is my manager competent
             | enough to provide the support I need for my team to be
             | successful?". The last question is the key one: you won't
             | grow if you are reporting to a muppet.
        
               | fifilura wrote:
               | Your answer is reasonable but I don't agree that it is a
               | "strange comment" as you say.
               | 
               | Is it not possible to see yourself as having thought too
               | much about maximizing your companys success without
               | thinking about your own needs?
               | 
               | I wouldnt qualify this as toxic. And they can go
               | alongside if you make it clear for yourself and your
               | manager.
        
               | dasil003 wrote:
               | Thanks for your measured response. You're right that it's
               | not inherently toxic to think of yourself. The reason I
               | reacted that way is because that mentality (whether
               | explicit or not) is what leads to operating in a very
               | transactional way or empire-building fashion that works
               | against good outcomes in the long-term.
               | 
               | I honestly don't think being too selfless is an adequate
               | explanation for career stagnation though. Selfless
               | behavior will generally help you get ahead in life and in
               | your career, because good relationships matter a lot.
               | However you won't get promoted just because you help
               | everyone. What if you are just servicing the squeaky
               | wheels rather than solving the biggest problem on your
               | plate? A good manager will only look to promote you
               | because you have demonstrated you are capable of solving
               | larger problems. There are other things too: like the
               | business actually has the need for a higher level role.
               | If that's the case, then your behavior is irrelevant--you
               | just need to leave to someplace that _does_ have the
               | growth opportunity.
               | 
               | Overall the reason I said your comment was strange is
               | because it clearly comes from some personal experience
               | you had, but it lacks enough context to be actionable to
               | anyone who reads it. I can think of a dozen different
               | ways I've seen a "servant leader" mentality succeed or
               | fail, but it all depends very much on context. Ultimately
               | if you want to succeed you need to understand what game
               | is being played and not fallback to abstract platitudes.
        
               | fifilura wrote:
               | Yeah maybe management path was not for me, but after a
               | while I couldn't shake the feeling of having "santas
               | little helper" on my business card. When the people I
               | managed were the people that were valued in the
               | organization, and having all the job opportunities. (I am
               | out of that now after cleaning my CV with a few years of
               | IC and managing a smaller team)
               | 
               | But of course YMMV and all that. I am not saying don't, I
               | am saying do - think about it first.
        
             | tptacek wrote:
             | At the risk of sounding glib, in "startup world" (the
             | sector of the tech industry characterized mostly by
             | companies between 100-1000 people large) there are two
             | career tracks:
             | 
             | (1) The track you get on by demonstrating viability in
             | roles of escalating seniority, such as by leaving a Sr.
             | Manager job for a Director job.
             | 
             | (2) The track you get on by having an easily observable or
             | articulable track record of getting important (or at least
             | interesting) things done.
             | 
             | Ruthlessly working "track 1" may rule out "serving" a team
             | (and at the same time rationalizing that by avoiding that
             | "trap" you're "serving" the broader company mission), but
             | that mindset practically rules out progression on "track
             | 2".
        
           | jackblemming wrote:
           | >As I told one team I led, "I'm your bitch. Tell me where
           | your rocks are and I'll move them out of the way so you can
           | get your work done."
           | 
           | Great mindset and thoughts, but I hope this isn't what you
           | actually said. I'd also like to point out serving someone or
           | some thing doesn't make you a bitch.
        
           | tptacek wrote:
           | If this is your whole mindset, in what sense are you a
           | leader? The person who moves rocks out of the way of the path
           | for the army to march on generally isn't the leader; the
           | leader is the guy (it's always a guy) telling people which
           | rocks to move.
           | 
           | I'm not dunking on you; maybe you aren't a servant-leader,
           | but rather just a servant. That's a great way to be: a
           | servant of "the mission" (replace with whatever term keeps
           | the contents of your stomach down).
        
         | avgcorrection wrote:
         | In corporate rhetoric, all management is becoming leadership.
         | Turning from the concrete X, Y, and Z of managing to the
         | abstract ball of feels that is "leadership".
        
         | voakbasda wrote:
         | Not everyone can be effective at both. I learned that I can be
         | a great leader, but I do not have the patience required to
         | manage people. I have had managers that were terrible leaders.
         | Definitely different skills, and you need both to climb the
         | ladder into the C-suite.
        
           | trescenzi wrote:
           | You definitively don't need either to make it to C-suite. To
           | get there you need political skills. To be effective there
           | you absolutely need both though.
        
         | tptacek wrote:
         | Leadership is a seductive concept, but in the main, leadership
         | = management - work. In a healthy engineering culture, a
         | management goal should be enabling the maximum number of people
         | to exercise their own leadership. Even the newfangled concept
         | of "servant leadership" is premised on a separation of agency
         | between those who "serve/lead" and those who "are served/led".
         | 
         | Effective management --- do not groan before I finish this
         | sentence --- tends to look a lot more like adminship on
         | Wikipedia than it does, like, war leadership. It's about
         | picking up a mop and a bucket and making the way clear for
         | people to do their best work. And, in our field, doing one's
         | best work often means _making and communicating big decisions_
         | , which is what leadership is.
         | 
         | There's also a distinction between the kind of leadership the
         | whole company needs --- hard decisions about where to allocate
         | resources and what bets to make --- and the day-to-day
         | "leadership" involved in getting things done as a team. I term
         | I hear a lot is "vibes based management", which is a
         | recognition that somebody (probably not engineering
         | management!) is making these kinds of decisions and
         | communicating them just well enough for line engineers to make
         | good choices.
         | 
         | If you're looking for management advice because you're running
         | a whole company, that kind of leadership is in scope! But if
         | you're looking to learn how to be a good engineering manager,
         | I'm not sure how much "leadership" has to do with doing a good
         | job.
        
           | dasil003 wrote:
           | > _But if you 're looking to learn how to be a good
           | engineering manager, I'm not sure how much "leadership" has
           | to do with doing a good job._
           | 
           | Your whole comment is spot on, but I think there's a trap
           | here. Yes, an EM should be empowering as many IC leaders as
           | possible, but that can't be done if the EM does not recognize
           | true leadership. While it's theoretically possible to succeed
           | as a manager leveraging others without having your own true
           | tech lead chops, the majority of managers like this end up
           | either putting too much trust in the wrong ICs or (worse)
           | devolve into cover-your-ass "agile" process bullshit.
        
       | Sharlin wrote:
       | People in general dislike being managed. Don't do that. _Lead_
       | instead.
        
         | tptacek wrote:
         | People in general dislike being _lead_. Support them with
         | management practices that _allow them to lead_ while offloading
         | ancillary burdens.
        
         | avgcorrection wrote:
         | Leading in this context is a euphemism for management. That
         | faux-egalitarian "could you X" (bonus points for upspeak).[1]
         | 
         | For some reason it grinds my gears when people in _formal_
         | positions of authority insist on talking about being a leader
         | instead of a boss.
         | 
         | [1] I'm all for pleasantries and being nice even though there
         | really is no choice (ask/order). Don't get me wrong. But not to
         | the point where either party starts getting delusional about
         | what's going on.
        
       | jacurtis wrote:
       | Out of curiosity, why are you looking for "articles" as opposed
       | to more generally "resources"?
       | 
       | The reason I say this is that articles are usually 800-3,000
       | words, with a median around 1,200 words. I'd ask if you can
       | really gain much depth or promote deep change in yourself based
       | on a bunch of short pieces?
       | 
       | Meanwhile there are numerous private courses, conferences,
       | research papers, and books that dive into these topics in much
       | more greater depth which is likely to have a more lasting impact
       | on your life.
       | 
       | I'd venture a guess that you want articles because they are
       | easier and faster to read. They don't require much time or effort
       | to go through and you can get a few quick hits of dopamine that
       | make you artificially feel like you impacted your career.
       | Leadership isn't something you're going to be able to learn with
       | a couple listacles and blog posts. It's going to take a lot more
       | time and dedication to get good at.
       | 
       | As others have mentioned. Management is easy. Leadership is hard.
        
       | nknealk wrote:
       | https://hbr.org/2013/01/the-price-of-incivility
       | 
       | Not explicitly related to management but good advice. I've seen
       | too many people put in a position of power and become assholes.
       | It destroys morale.
       | 
       | Edit: a non paywalled link
       | https://www.qualitymanagementinstitute.com/images/hrsolution...
        
       | maCDzP wrote:
       | I really like the work of Gervaise Bushe and his book "clear
       | leadership".
       | 
       | He makes the argument that by putting a lot of effort in
       | understanding your own and other peoples viewpoint you are able
       | to build good relationship.
       | 
       | But what I believe sets his work apart from others is his
       | psychological view on why it's sometimes hard for people to
       | listen to each other. He dissects which anxieties drives our
       | behavior to listen or not to listen etc. without coming of as a
       | know it all.
       | 
       | Probably not for everyone because of the psych framing. But if
       | that speaks to you, give it a try.
       | 
       | Overall: five out of five toasters.
        
         | lazyasciiart wrote:
         | I remember some similar content in Crucial Conversations,
         | although it is a while since I read it.
        
       | bellwether wrote:
       | I got a lot of value from this post related to growth for ICs:
       | https://www.honeycomb.io/blog/engineering-levels-at-honeycom...
        
       | e12e wrote:
       | I think Peopleware deserves a mention:
       | 
       | https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peopleware:_Productive_Proje...
        
         | jvanderbot wrote:
         | Peopleware is in fact _the_ best I 've ever read. The problems
         | of an organization are very rarely technical, and are almost
         | certainly the people.
        
           | eptcyka wrote:
           | So you're saying they're always people who lack certainty?
        
             | jvanderbot wrote:
             | Oh you - fixed.
        
         | dilyevsky wrote:
         | Peopleware doesn't get the love it deserves these days. I
         | mentioned tom demarco to my vp of eng at former gig and they
         | clearly didn't know wtf i was talking about...
         | 
         | When i was picking up some team lead responsibilities for the
         | first time, it was the first book suggested by my then mentor
         | who was an experienced manager.
        
           | JamesLeonis wrote:
           | Simply to add to this, I found _Peopleware_ useful even in an
           | IC position. It helped me navigate the intrigue that arises
           | in an office, and understand the pressures experienced by my
           | managers.
        
       | AJ007 wrote:
       | I had a lot of trouble with this in my early 20s. Everything I
       | read was bullshit.
       | 
       | There are two important distinctions: how you manage mediocre
       | workers you didn't hire, and how you manage good workers. The
       | former will require 98% of the effort of the latter, and will
       | give you a fraction of the same results. If you are running a
       | tech company, the former will probably prevent you from ever
       | running things well or smoothly. The former can include people
       | who don't show up for work, but it can also include high IQ
       | people who are constantly screwing around and coming up with
       | elaborate excuses. The best way to manage those people is to fire
       | them as fast as possible.
       | 
       | For managing the former, let them get their work done and don't
       | do stupid shit that impairs it. If you can't figure that out
       | yourself, you shouldn't be a manager.
       | 
       | There, I just saved you 10,000 hours of reading.
        
         | AussieWog93 wrote:
         | >The best way to manage those people is to fire them as fast as
         | possible.
         | 
         | Depending on the country you're in, this can be really
         | difficult legally.
        
         | danielovichdk wrote:
         | Solid advice!
         | 
         | Fire these people first since they have a tendency to be
         | manipulate the truth: "high IQ people who are constantly
         | screwing around and coming up with elaborate excuses".
        
         | svilen_dobrev wrote:
         | > For managing the former, let them get their work done
         | 
         | did you mean "latter" here ?
        
         | lazyasciiart wrote:
         | Step 0: come to grips with the existence of workers outside
         | those two groups, and the possibility of workers who fit in
         | different groups in different contexts or at different times in
         | their life.
        
         | johnchristopher wrote:
         | > [..] The former can include people who don't show up for
         | work, but it can also include high IQ people who are constantly
         | screwing around and coming up with elaborate excuses. The best
         | way to manage those people is to fire them as fast as possible.
         | 
         | > For managing the former, let them get their work done and
         | don't do stupid shit that impairs it. If you can't figure that
         | out yourself, you shouldn't be a manager.
         | 
         | I have a manager who also can't write two sentences without
         | mixing up "former" and "later", "production" and "dev" and
         | "staging" and "testing", "monday" and "thursday" and
         | "wednesday". Doesn't help he's also an insufferable know-it-all
         | taking everyone for an idiot (even though that's true more
         | often than not but you get the point).
        
       | stewsnooze wrote:
       | Joel Spolsky https://www.joelonsoftware.com/2006/08/07/three-
       | management-m...
        
         | Jun8 wrote:
         | As always, Spolsky makes blunt but good points. At the end he
         | mentions additional approaches: "You will certainly find other
         | methods of management in the wild (there's the exotic "Devil
         | Wears Prada" Method, the Jihad Method, the Charismatic Cult
         | Method, and the Lurch From One Method To Another Method)."
         | Others are relatively obvious but I'm curious about the "Jihad
         | Method."
        
       | mark_undoio wrote:
       | I'm a big fan of Turn the Ship Around! By L. David Marquet as fun
       | read that shows what some good leadership can do by pushing
       | responsibility to the lowest appropriate level in an
       | organisation.
       | 
       | https://davidmarquet.com/turn-the-ship-around-book/
       | 
       | The anecdotes are good fun. I've not used it specifically as a
       | model but I like the general principles it represents.
        
         | jyunwai wrote:
         | The most useful lesson from this book for me--because I found
         | myself using this several times this week--is to communicate by
         | saying "I intend to" to quickly explain the "why" behind what
         | you are trying to do, or the rationale for a set of
         | instructions you are giving to another person.
         | 
         | This helps people respond with flexibility, as it gives them a
         | better understanding of when to deviate from the exact set of
         | instructions you give them (such as if assumptions turn out to
         | be wrong, or conditions change), and what parts of a request
         | are necessary to follow exactly.
         | 
         | Though I remembered using this wording often, I actually forgot
         | that I learned about the principle from this book until I read
         | this comment, but the idea itself has stuck with me.
         | 
         | There is also a 45-minute "Talks at Google" video by the
         | author, which looks like a good overview for his main ideas:
         | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzJL8zX3EVk
        
       | szundi wrote:
       | Peopleware, Five disfunctions of a team
        
         | calvinmorrison wrote:
         | Five disfunction of the team was the dumbest shit filled
         | crockery ever to be put into print. Please save your self the
         | loss of braincells and skip this book.
        
           | hartator wrote:
           | Why? I almost bought it.
        
       | hiAndrewQuinn wrote:
       | Honestly? High Output Management. Written by Intel's CEO during
       | its climb, it seems to have the focuses in the right areas even
       | today for the more technical among us
        
       | Jun8 wrote:
       | I cannot recommend "Crucial Conversations" enough
       | (https://www.amazon.com/Crucial-Conversations-Third-
       | Talking-S...), excellent source for everyone but esp. for
       | managers. It will teach you how to broach difficult topics with
       | reports and how to deal with difficult personalities, which
       | inevitably you will encounter.
        
       | aborsy wrote:
       | A related question, what are the best books or classes on
       | managing people?
        
         | hrpnk wrote:
         | - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/45303387-an-elegant-
         | puzz... - An Elegant Puzzle: Systems of Engineering Management
         | by Will Larson - excellent intro into the job of an Engineering
         | Manager
         | 
         | - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23848190-extreme-
         | ownersh... - Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink, Leif Babin -
         | showcase of leadership techniques (with references from US
         | Navy)
         | 
         | - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18077903-creativity-inc -
         | Creativity, Inc. by Ed Catmull, Amy Wallace - explains how to
         | create a working environment that drives creativity and
        
       | nobodysomebody wrote:
       | By Adm. Rickover https://govleaders.org/rickover.htm
       | https://www.powermag.com/blog/hyman-rickover-on-nuclear-desi...
       | Books The Never-Ending Challenge of Engineering: Admiral H.G.
       | Rickover in His Own Words The Rickover Effect: How One Man Made a
       | Difference
        
       | stavros wrote:
       | Another related question, what are some good resources on
       | leadership?
        
         | hrpnk wrote:
         | https://github.com/LappleApple/awesome-leading-and-managing -
         | on leading people and managing (mostly) tech teams
        
           | stavros wrote:
           | Thanks!
        
       | tonydev wrote:
       | High output management (Andy Grove) is a classic that I've found
       | a lot of value from over the years -- written in the 80s and
       | shows its age here and there, but otherwise good for the
       | fundamentals: https://www.amazon.com/High-Output-Management-
       | Andrew-Grove/d...
        
         | RyanHamilton wrote:
         | +1 best book I have ever read on the topic. A short concise
         | book with a number of good ideas that anyone working in a
         | large/medium or perhaps even a small company would benefit
         | from. So good, that I re-read parts of it twice already. My
         | full review and notes are here:
         | https://ryan-h.com/2019/10/21/andrew-grove-high-output-manag...
        
       | jlewis_st wrote:
       | The Set-Up-To-Fail Syndrome (https://hbr.org/1998/03/the-set-up-
       | to-fail-syndrome) is a great resource for how to handle
       | situations where you feel an employee is underperforming.
        
         | computerdork wrote:
         | Had never heard of this. This is a great article on how to be a
         | poor manager.
        
         | jyunwai wrote:
         | I second this article, having applied the ideas (and shared the
         | article) with people I've worked with in the past. The ideas
         | are still relevant today, despite the original publication in
         | 1998.
         | 
         | ---
         | 
         | The drawn comic in the article gives a good overview, and the
         | following are a few highlights:
         | 
         | "Before the set-up-to-fail syndrome begins, the boss and the
         | subordinate are typically engaged in a positive, or at least
         | neutral, relationship. The triggering event in the set-up-to-
         | fail syndrome is often minor or surreptitious. The subordinate
         | may miss a deadline, lose a client, or submit a subpar report.
         | [...]
         | 
         | "Reacting to the triggering event, the boss increases his
         | supervision of the subordinate, gives more specific
         | instructions, and wrangles longer over courses of action. The
         | subordinate responds by beginning to suspect a lack of
         | confidence and senses he's not part of the boss's in-group
         | anymore. He starts to withdraw emotionally from the boss and
         | from work. He may also fight to change the boss's image of him,
         | reaching too high or running too fast to be effective.
         | 
         | "The boss interprets this problem-hoarding, overreaching, or
         | tentativeness as signs that the subordinate has poor judgment
         | and weak capabilities. If the subordinate does perform well,
         | the boss does not acknowledge it or considers it a lucky "one
         | off." [...] The subordinate feels boxed in and
         | underappreciated. He increasingly withdraws from his boss and
         | from work. He may even resort to ignoring instructions, openly
         | disputing the boss, and occasionally lashing out because of
         | feelings of rejection.
         | 
         | "In general, he performs his job mechanically and devotes more
         | energy to self-protection. [...] The boss feels increasingly
         | frustrated and is now convinced that the subordinate cannot
         | perform without intense oversight. He makes this known by his
         | words and deeds, further undermining the subordinate's
         | confidence and prompting inaction."
         | 
         | ---
         | 
         | My own summary follows. The idea is that a good relationship
         | between a manager and a junior can unnecessarily fall off the
         | rails, beginning with the manager perceiving that the junior
         | has made a small or moderate mistake.
         | 
         | Instead of letting it go, the manager begins a corrective
         | action with more micro-management (such as requests for more
         | check-ins or progress reports). This can result in the junior
         | becoming disengaged with the work, or alternatively trying to
         | take on too many responsibilities to regain the manager's
         | trust. In any case, the manager tries to correct this by
         | increasing micro-management (which is the opposite of what the
         | junior wants), which worsens the relationship.
         | 
         | To solve this, the article recommends an open discussion
         | between the manager and junior, with specific, concrete goals
         | for restoring trust in the relationship (as well as attempting
         | to prevent this in the first place). The article also notes
         | that an attempted solution entirely on the junior's side--where
         | the junior over-achieves for a while to attempt to rebuild
         | trust--is often ineffective, as a manager may not even notice
         | these efforts due to a bias to already label the person as
         | unreliable.
        
         | dilyevsky wrote:
         | Thanks for the link, it reads like some of those are dynamics
         | are also part of the Karpman Drama Triangle[0] which is another
         | common failure mode.
         | 
         | [0] - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karpman_drama_triangle
        
         | carterschonwald wrote:
         | Omg I've seen this actually done to a person. It's terrible
        
         | teddyh wrote:
         | <https://archive.is/FThP1>
        
       | shaunxcode wrote:
       | https://monoskop.org/images/e/e3/Beer_Stafford_Designing_Fre...
       | Even has diagrams!
        
       | cicce19 wrote:
       | Scaling people by Claire Hughes Johnson is a recent one that is
       | quite good.
        
       | CharleFKane wrote:
       | Douglas Southall Freeman, _On Leadership_ , especially the
       | lecture he called "Old Number One".
       | 
       | I can't find it online now, though the whole book is on
       | archive.org. Here's a good summary:
       | 
       | https://uncomn.com/leadership-part-1-lessons-from-douglas-so...
        
         | neilv wrote:
         | From the summary of "Old Number One", these are maybe 3 of the
         | top 6 things that I think I learned by osmosis from managers
         | early in my career. The other big ones were
         | humility/thoughtfulness, honesty, and grace under pressure.
         | (Perhaps the original lecture addresses those, as well.)
         | 
         | I don't know the research on this (and would be hesitant to
         | believe anything out of the business press about management). I
         | only have anecdata, intuition, and speculation.
         | 
         | I'm not perfect at any of these, but they seem to be a really
         | good guide.
         | 
         | Note that not everyone has picked up the same influences in the
         | past, so they might not have seen all of these, and they
         | might've learned a lot of other ideas.
         | 
         | For examples of other influences (not just managers, but execs
         | including startups): Many seem to prioritize projecting
         | confidence, over everything else. Others seem wired to
         | persuade, to doing what they want or to having a positive
         | impression of them, at all costs. Others seem to think they
         | must assert authority, first and foremost.
         | 
         | The difference in past experiences, and the reality of industry
         | conventions in practice, means you sometimes have to explain
         | something that seems obvious to you.
         | 
         | One time I failed to communicate well, I was characterizing to
         | a startup CEO how I'd run a forthcoming engineering team, and I
         | added something at the end, "and they'll be my people". I
         | intended it as shorthand for a style of conscientiously looking
         | after their needs, and fostering a culture of loyalty to the
         | team/project/company. Of course that was ambiguous, especially
         | in a business context, where aggressive self-interest is the
         | most likely explanation for any behavior. Later, I realized
         | that he was looking to be the leader of more of a lifestyle
         | company, with the entire company _his_ people in a somewhat
         | different sense (which was an influence he 'd seen in his own
         | career). So I'd maybe sounded like I was saying I'd silo off a
         | fiefdom of loyalists to me rather than to him or the company,
         | shape part of the company in my image, or otherwise get between
         | him and the people.
        
       | jasode wrote:
       | Not an article but this oft-linked HN comment from Slava
       | Akhmechet is very accurate about how subordinates' motives can
       | sabotage your intended goals and objectives :
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18003253
        
         | johnfn wrote:
         | Haha, wow, I remember reading this when it was written. I do
         | think it's probably a bit too cynical though, probably colored
         | by the author's own world-view and personal experience. I do
         | think that some companies are just filled with BS; don't get me
         | wrong. But I think that there are also a subset of companies
         | who are filled with people trying their best, but who are
         | making mistakes and/or being incompetent in a way that looks
         | like the active sabotage that OP is describing. I think when
         | there's a power imbalance it's easy to ascribe every non-
         | perfect action by people above you to be some act of self-
         | interest, when in reality it isn't always true that everyone
         | has a secret ulterior motive.
         | 
         | > From the founders's perspective the org is basically an
         | overactive genie. It will do what you say, but not what you
         | mean. Want to increase sales in two quarters? No problem, sales
         | increased. Oh, and we also subtly destroyed our customers's
         | trust. Once the stakes are high, founders basically have to
         | treat their org as an adversarial agent. You might think -- but
         | a good founder will notice! Doesn't matter how good you are --
         | you've selected world class politicians that are good at
         | getting past your exact psychological makeup.
         | 
         | This is a particularly good quote!
        
           | dilyevsky wrote:
           | > I do think it's probably a bit too cynical though, probably
           | colored by the author's own world-view and personal
           | experience.
           | 
           | That's the sad part. Once you personally encounter this, as i
           | also have, though not as a founder, you cant help but notice
           | it everywhere and question everything. Like the irl The Thing
        
           | akkartik wrote:
           | Ha, this is actually a really good case in favor of _not_
           | hiring the best people. Any metric you have for estimating
           | "best" will be gameable.
           | 
           | Now I'm reminded of
           | https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2019/04/15/mediocratopia-4.
        
           | caminante wrote:
           | Overly cynical indeed and incomplete. It's profound for
           | someone 5 years out of college.
           | 
           | I know the intent, but I found this typo funny
           | 
           |  _> Once the steaks are high_
           | 
           | There are much better "this is how things ACTUALLY work"
           | takes like Ribbonfarm's "Gervais Principal" [0] to feast on.
           | 
           | [0] https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/07/the-gervais-
           | principle-...
        
       | atlasunshrugged wrote:
       | It isn't directly about managing people 1:1, but probably the one
       | that most helped inform my views on people management and
       | organizational culture was the original Netflix culture deck
       | 
       | https://www.slideshare.net/reed2001/culture-1798664
        
       | tmoravec wrote:
       | I'm reading some articles on managing people all the time (mostly
       | from Software Lead Weekly newsletter). And recently, I've opened
       | Armstrong's Handbook of Human Resource Management Practice to
       | read a few chapters on a problem I'm facing at work.
       | 
       | And WOW a proper book on the topic is SOOO much better than any
       | random article that I find, be it from SWLW, HN, Reddit, or any
       | other source. Articles and posts are easy to like when I already
       | agree with their premise. But the depth of a proper book, from a
       | real source of authority and not some random person online,
       | looking at the problem from multiple points, that's so much more
       | insightful and useful.
       | 
       | So instead of hunting for best articles, I would 100% recommend
       | getting Armstrong, or some textbook. Or at least High Output
       | Management as other comment suggested, or some other well known
       | and well regarded book. But Armstrong in particular can give you
       | very deep understanding of most aspects of people management,
       | plus it's up-to-date.
        
       | austin-cheney wrote:
       | Online articles will be insufficient. Instead, find the right
       | people.
       | 
       | First understand that management is administrative:
       | accountability, task completion, retention, hiring. Leadership is
       | direction, purpose, and motivation. The concepts are not related.
       | Leaders own things and take risks. Managers balance spreadsheets.
       | If you are an extreme introvert or find it difficult to be
       | assertive you have a tremendous amount of catching up to do.
       | 
       | Secondly, your best source of knowledge is experience from people
       | with proven delivery. Find them and ask them tough questions.
       | Compare yourself to your managerial peers to determine if you are
       | developing appropriately or if you are sucking. Do not look to
       | your peers or the public for leadership guidance as they will set
       | you up to fail, especially in software. If you really want to
       | become a solid manager look for harsh criticism from the leaders
       | you work for AND a path forward.
       | 
       | Finally, pay close attention to the measures and metrics of your
       | staff. Such measures will include staff retention, speed of
       | delivery, product performance, and so forth.
       | 
       | To help jump start your journey here is leadership according to
       | the US Army: ADP 6-22,
       | https://armypubs.army.mil/ProductMaps/PubForm/Details.aspx?P...
        
         | cj wrote:
         | > If you are an extreme introvert or find it difficult to be
         | assertive you have a tremendous amount of catching up to do
         | 
         | This can be a good thing. "Natural born leaders" by personality
         | type tend to be overconfident and ignore their blindspots
         | because they've never had a reason to challenge their ability.
         | 
         | Introverts, for example, are acutely aware that leading and
         | managing doesn't come naturally and is a skill that is
         | continually learned and built upon. In the long-run, introverts
         | can be excellent leaders because they're aware of what it takes
         | to be a good leader and they put an emphasis on professional
         | development to get where they need to be.
         | 
         | Not to say extroverts are worse leaders. Both introverts and
         | extroverts can be terrible leaders/managers. The best
         | leaders/managers are the ones who have the self-awareness to
         | reflect on themselves, identify their week points, and
         | constantly improve.
        
           | computerdork wrote:
           | Agree with this. Maybe "extreme introverts" will have a tough
           | time as leaders, but moderate ones probably have a lot of
           | advantages. On top of the ones you listed, they tend to be
           | better listeners, reading both people and situations better,
           | having higher empathy (https://thrivedowntown.com/what-is-an-
           | introvert-personality/...)
        
         | chiefalchemist wrote:
         | > Online articles will be insufficient. Instead, find the right
         | people.
         | 
         | Well, yeah. But if it were *that* easy then everyone would do
         | it. "It's just..." find the right people. Anyone one with
         | experience knows "it's just" is a red flag for "I lack the
         | depth and understanding of the domain so I'll dismiss it as if
         | it's child's play."
         | 
         | This leads to one of my never-fails heuristics: Making it look
         | easy is very very hard.
        
       | mostlysimple wrote:
       | Ive always been a firm believer in situational leadership. It
       | teaches that there isn't just one leadership style for every
       | person, their skillsets and their motivation.
       | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Situational_leadership_theory
        
       | thinkingkong wrote:
       | The Mochary Method is a google doc that has been making its
       | rounds for awhile. It's not the most visually stunning set of
       | guidelines to read but the content is excellent.
       | 
       | https://docs.google.com/document/d/18FiJbYn53fTtPmphfdCKT2TM...
        
         | orionsbelt wrote:
         | Awful advice in the legal section. I hope the other areas are
         | better.
        
         | codemac wrote:
         | The Mochary Method I found is much better for folks managing
         | other managers. If you manage individual contributors with a
         | lot of these ideas (e.g. meetings start on time), you'll
         | definitely have a hard time.
         | 
         | His writing vs talking stuff though is truly great, and I
         | changed how I run many meetings through it.
        
       | iFire wrote:
       | I enjoy the readings from https://managinghumans.com/ but my
       | talents are with code and not management so evaluation of the
       | advice is difficult.
        
       | blatherard wrote:
       | "Managing in Mayberry: an Examination of Three Distinct
       | Leadership Styles" by Don Gray and Dan Starr.
       | 
       | https://www.donaldegray.com/managing-in-mayberry-an-examinat...
        
       | aag wrote:
       | Bizarrely, I found the book Corps Business, by Freedman, to be
       | useful. It's about how the US Marine Corps thinks about
       | leadership. No, he doesn't tell you to shout at people. But he
       | does show how they lead in more difficult circumstances than most
       | of us will ever encounter, and how they help people from wildly
       | different backgrounds work together.
       | 
       | Speaking of learning from people with completely different
       | perspectives, if you want to learn about public speaking, read Do
       | You Talk Funny?, by Nihill. The thesis is that good standup
       | comedians are the best public speakers, and that we can learn
       | their techniques. Much of what they do well has nothing to do
       | with being funny.
        
         | smcin wrote:
         | > how the US Marine Corps thinks about leadership.
         | 
         | Can you give specifics? Does it primarily apply to people in
         | heavily authoritarian-type management cultures? I don't expect
         | that persuasion and gradually building consensus are big
         | themes.
         | 
         | > how they help people from wildly different backgrounds work
         | together.
         | 
         | Specifics please?
         | 
         | > Do You Talk Funny?, by Nihill. The thesis is that good
         | standup comedians are the best public speakers, and that we can
         | learn their techniques.
         | 
         | Nihill is a bad standup comedian who sort-of pivoted/reinvented
         | himself as some corporate speaker. So, he would say something
         | like that; doesn't make it authoritative. (I almost dragged my
         | friends to one of his gigs once until I checked out his
         | videos.) And it depends on what type of "public speaker" he
         | means; John F Kennedy would probably have been terrible at
         | corporate comedy gigs.
        
           | mrj wrote:
           | > Can you give specifics? Does it primarily apply to people
           | in heavily authoritarian-type management cultures? I don't
           | expect that persuasion and gradually building consensus are
           | big themes.
           | 
           | The Marines think about leadership very differently than
           | that. Sure, parts are authoritarian, but most people are
           | surprised to learn that training to be an independent thinker
           | starts in boot camp. They don't even tell you how to "swab
           | the deck," you are provided the tools and given the direction
           | that the floor has to be spotless. Regular inspections
           | provide continual feedback, and out of that recruits
           | routinely develop their own procedures and novel techniques
           | for mission success. (Did you know newspaper is extremely
           | effective at finish polishing windows?)
           | 
           | Leadership is pushed hard at every level. If two Marines are
           | on a job/mission/taking out the trash, even if they are the
           | same rank, the one with more time is expected to take
           | responsibility for the other. It's not bossing around
           | authoritarian style, it's as real as that other Marine's life
           | is your number one priority. Leaders are expected to support
           | mission success, not drive it. You lay out the parameters of
           | what success means, and the Marines your charge should have
           | the tools and support necessary to accomplish that task.
           | 
           | In the programming world, it means that I set out a goal
           | post, where I want the team to get to. But then I make sure
           | they have the time to do it (I often take distracting support
           | issues or annoying bugs so the team is not hampered), and the
           | tools needed to get there. If the team does not, I have
           | failed.
           | 
           | Marine leadership doesn't do IC work, which is the major
           | thing I could improve. But then, Marines have a whole lot
           | more people than I do. :)
        
           | jyunwai wrote:
           | I can't speak to how the ideas are implemented in practice
           | within the US Marine Corps, but a few specifics are given in
           | "Marine Corps Doctrinal Publications 1--Warfighting," which
           | is likely a similar document that I've found to be helpful
           | [1].
           | 
           | The following excerpt encourages respectful debate, instead
           | of blindly going along with a leader's plans:
           | 
           | "Relations among all leaders--from corporal to general--
           | should be based on honesty and frankness regardless of
           | disparity between grades. Until a commander has reached and
           | stated a decision, subordinates should consider it their duty
           | to provide honest, professional opinions even though these
           | may be in disagreement with the senior's opinions.
           | 
           | "However, once the decision has been reached, juniors then
           | must support it as if it were their own. Seniors must
           | encourage candor among subordinates and must not hide behind
           | their grade insignia. Ready compliance for the purpose of
           | personal advancement--the behavior of "yes-men"--will not be
           | tolerated.""
           | 
           | ---
           | 
           | The idea of erring toward respectful disagreement when
           | warranted with leaders, instead of being a yes-man, has
           | helped me greatly with building trust in teams I've worked
           | with in the past.
           | 
           | However, I don't believe that it's always the best approach
           | that "juniors then must support [decisions they disagree
           | with] as if it were their own." I get that you can seem less
           | confident by saying "{My manager} wants us to take this
           | approach," instead of saying "We're taking this approach."
           | 
           | But for decisions that you personally disagree with, the best
           | approach would include an acknowledgement of the downsides.
           | Phrasing might be: "We're doing this because of XYZ reasons
           | from the leadership, while acknowledging the downsides ABC."
           | 
           | I believe that this phrase is balanced: it avoids directly
           | saying that you disagree with the decision (which can lead to
           | people implementing the decision poorly, possibly making it
           | doomed even if it turns out to be the correct one), while
           | also acknowledging potential downsides (because the juniors
           | are likely to see them too). An expression as if the decision
           | were truly your own might mean an enthusiastic delivery
           | without acknowledging the downsides, which reduces your own
           | credibility with your direct team.
           | 
           | ---
           | 
           | In any case, I believe that reading about the approach--even
           | if one doesn't agree with every idea--is a worthwhile
           | exercise, as I've found that much of the principles remain
           | relevant across vastly different organizational environments.
           | 
           | [1] (1997) https://www.marines.mil/Portals/1/Publications/MCD
           | P%201%20Wa...
        
             | smcin wrote:
             | Sounds like good training for the average Marine, but it
             | doesn't apply to the higher-level scandals:
             | 
             | * the 20 years of coverup and inaction about prosecuting
             | 1Lt Duncan D. Hunter for 2004 Iraq friendly-fire deaths of
             | other Marines and Iraqis? He eventually got prosecuted much
             | faster for congressional finance abuse.
             | 
             | "Marine friendly-fire deaths involving Duncan Hunter were
             | kept hidden. His congressman dad denies interfering." https
             | ://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/news/military/story/202...
             | 
             | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duncan_D._Hunter#Military_ser
             | v...
             | 
             | * the pattern of fatal accidents involving the Boeing V-22
             | Osprey: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell_Boeing_V-22_Ospr
             | ey#Accide...
             | 
             | You made interesting comments about how to frame the
             | narrative when people disagree-and-commit.
        
       | iancmceachern wrote:
       | Its not an article but here are some books:
       | 
       | Strengths finder 2.0 Rework Deep work Rick Rubins book Start with
       | why
        
       | ronald_raygun wrote:
       | I think these blog series is illuminating for most companies
       | 
       | https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2009/10/07/the-gervais-principle-...
        
         | timeagain wrote:
         | No joke hese articles were the reason I started going to
         | therapy. I think before reading them I didn't consider
         | workplace issues to be a part of my "real life". In some sense
         | I was aware of work life balance but I didn't fully appreciate
         | that they are balanced on a single fulcrum (i.e., "me"!)
        
       | JoshTriplett wrote:
       | https://hbr.org/2023/02/what-is-psychological-safety
       | 
       | https://www.slideshare.net/dberkholz/assholes-are-killing-yo...
       | (video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wE_SpIdIGK4)
        
       | campallison wrote:
       | "You manage things, you lead people. We went overboard on
       | management and forgot about leadership." [0, 1] - Rear Admiral
       | Grace Hopper, USN
       | 
       | 0: https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Grace_Hopper 1:
       | https://www.cs.yale.edu/homes/tap/Files/hopper-wit.html
        
       | timeagain wrote:
       | This one is a little dramatic, but in the article she provides a
       | devastating description of what it means to be a bad manager (or
       | partner).
       | 
       | https://issendai.com/psychology/sick-systems.html
        
       | aemre wrote:
       | There is a big list of resources related to engineering
       | management which might be relevant:
       | https://github.com/ryanburgess/engineer-manager
        
       | hackitup7 wrote:
       | Self plug but a friend and I write about management/leadership
       | (among other topics) here https://staysaasy.com/
        
       | simonw wrote:
       | I love management advice from somewhat unconventional sources.
       | 
       | My favourite piece of reading here is The Eleven Laws of
       | Showrunning by Javier Grillo-Marxuach:
       | http://okbjgm.weebly.com/uploads/3/1/5/0/31506003/11_laws_of...
       | 
       | It's about how to be the showrunner on a TV show, but is full of
       | advice that works really well for managing people in software
       | engineering environments as well (if you squint at it the right
       | way).
        
       | JohnCClarke wrote:
       | As a new manager I found the Chester Nimitz quote: "When you're
       | in command, command."
       | 
       | I.e. it's now your job to lead. Do it, and take responsibility
       | for doing it.
       | 
       | Also:
       | 
       | The Manager's Path by Camille Fournier Released March 2017
       | Publisher(s): O'Reilly Media, Inc. ISBN: 9781491973899
        
       | nemothekid wrote:
       | Really recommend The Manager's Path by Camille Fournier
       | 
       | I find it's really more a practical guide, less so a "recipe of
       | success" that other self-help tend to be.
       | 
       | https://www.amazon.com/Managers-Path-Leaders-Navigating-Grow...
        
       | Nostromos wrote:
       | I used to tell all of my new lead or new manager reports to start
       | with Rands. I even offered to buy them a set of my favorite books
       | - a couple rands, High Output management, manager's path, etc.
       | 
       | There are some fantastic other suggestions in comments though,
       | and it looks like all my suggestions already accounted for.
        
         | npteljes wrote:
         | By "Rands" and "couple rands", do you mean books from here?
         | 
         | https://randsinrepose.com/books/
        
       | hartator wrote:
       | I like the One Minute Manager.
        
       | tmpz22 wrote:
       | Go to your nearest retirement home. Sit down and strike up a
       | conversation with someone there. Genuinely listen to them and
       | show interest in what they have to say. When you leave reflect on
       | the vast loneliness of society and how one person can impact
       | another with even the smallest of gestures.
       | 
       | Thats the most succinct advice I have on being a better manager.
       | Not a self-indulgent medium article.
        
       | underlipton wrote:
       | https://ssir.org/articles/entry/the_bias_of_professionalism_...
       | is an interesting one to ponder, if you can avoid being triggered
       | by the nomenclature. It speaks specifically to white supremacy in
       | the workplace, but can be broadly applied to other biases which
       | might affect one's ability to manage a team successfully. Even
       | more broadly, it suggests a framework for analyzing one's
       | response to aspects of a coworker's behavior or presentation that
       | might not be directly applicable to their performance. For
       | example, do you think Hypothetical Ted is dressed in an
       | unacceptably unprofessional manner because he actually is, or are
       | you just unable to consider someone who's overweight anything but
       | slovenly? (Per the word of several large and highly-competent
       | friends, people like that are out there.)
        
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