[HN Gopher] Feynman: I am burned out and I'll never accomplish a...
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       Feynman: I am burned out and I'll never accomplish anything (1985)
        
       Author : ent101
       Score  : 337 points
       Date   : 2024-01-11 18:35 UTC (4 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.asc.ohio-state.edu)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.asc.ohio-state.edu)
        
       | MPSimmons wrote:
       | The entire 'Surely You're Joking, Mr Feynman' book is just an
       | incredible read.
        
         | b8 wrote:
         | Yep, I recommend that and his other book.
        
           | jwilk wrote:
           | What's the other book?
        
             | donkeyballs wrote:
             | "What Do You Care What Other People Think?"
        
             | btilly wrote:
             | The other book is, "What Do You Care What Other People
             | Think?"
             | 
             | https://www.amazon.com/What-Care-Other-People-
             | Think/dp/03933...
             | 
             | I particularly liked it for the in depth discussion of how
             | Appendix F came to be written.
             | 
             | https://history.nasa.gov/rogersrep/v2appf.htm
        
               | srean wrote:
               | Yeah, the Feynman in this book is more human, more
               | vulnerable.
        
             | srean wrote:
             | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/What_Do_You_Care_What_Other_P
             | e...
        
       | dartos wrote:
       | What an inspiring passage.
       | 
       | I've been feeling the exact same way about software lately.
       | 
       | It's just no fun anymore. I should do something pointless like
       | making a wayland compositor for myself or something.
        
         | JohnFen wrote:
         | When I struggled hard with burnout, I found that hobbies were
         | an important part of fixing that -- but it was important that
         | the hobbies had little-to-nothing to do with computers (I had
         | computer-related hobbies too, of course, but they didn't seem
         | particularly effective in terms of mitigating burnout).
        
           | brokencode wrote:
           | Personally, I've found that if I get super interested in a
           | programming project at home that I'll get too distracted and
           | unfocused at work, which feels pretty miserable. For that
           | reason, I've mostly given up on programming at home in favor
           | of reading and other hobbies.
           | 
           | I do think this is a good approach at work though. There's
           | always something I can investigate that I'm interested in at
           | work that I can find enjoyment from. Even if it isn't exactly
           | what I'm ideally supposed to be working on, I'm able to help
           | people and provide valuable insights that are beneficial for
           | my team and company.
           | 
           | This is a much more satisfying situation than either spinning
           | my wheels because I'm not interested in what I'm working on
           | am too distracted by projects at home.
        
           | makapuf wrote:
           | A good thing is to remind that you have not to finish hobby
           | projets. Dont feel any shame about putting it aside and start
           | something more interesting, do it : it's not work and you do
           | it to let off steam. You may even come back to it later
        
             | JohnFen wrote:
             | Yes!
             | 
             | I think that the real difference between an activity being
             | a hobby and it being a job is that a hobby activity is
             | always optional. If I don't feel like working on a hobby
             | project today (or ever again), I don't have to. On the job,
             | I don't have that option. That makes a world of difference.
        
         | nosequel wrote:
         | My same thought. The software I'm required to write isn't
         | necessarily fun anymore. I find more fun writing tools when I
         | need them. I'll find myself needing a helper tool, I start
         | writing, I enjoy writing it, then I realize I went off the deep
         | end and made a really cool thing and completely lost track of
         | time.
        
         | rand1239 wrote:
         | Go and meditate. You will never find truth in
         | thoughts/words/code/beliefs. It can be in trillions of possible
         | combinations. You can keep churning it out for infinity and not
         | reach anywhere.
        
       | csours wrote:
       | I think this is an indication of the difference between the start
       | of project and maintenance of a product.
       | 
       | At the start, you can imagine all the cool things it does, once
       | it's working you have to keep it working in the real world.
        
         | alexpetralia wrote:
         | Spot on. Everything is fun when the scale is small and the
         | consequences don't matter, and everything is serious when the
         | scale is large and the consequences matter.
        
         | david422 wrote:
         | Or the start of the project and completing the project. All
         | those fun projects people start and never finish. All the fun
         | stuff is done, it's the boilerplate that needs to be done to
         | actually complete the project that is the "hard" part.
        
       | mikrl wrote:
       | I've had an 'instrumental' mindset for as long as I can remember.
       | Almost my entire life after being a kid.
       | 
       | >I need to do this because I need to know that to pass my exams,
       | get a good job to... etc
       | 
       | I feel for a lot of 30 and under people today it's the same. I
       | managed to capture the 'playing around' feeling very fleetingly
       | earlier in my 20s but it doesn't last long before some little
       | productivity demon starts gnawing at you.
       | 
       | Even resting has its purpose: mentally recharge to work more, let
       | muscles repair themselves to lift more.
        
       | amiga386 wrote:
       | I can just imagine this in his voice (e.g.
       | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYg6jzotiAc)
       | 
       | Feynman is my favourite physicist. Of course you could pick
       | someone else, you could argue about the relative importance of
       | each person's contribution to scientific knowledge, but it was
       | his aimiability, playfulness and curiousity, combined with the
       | fact that he _did_ break new frontiers in quantum physics that
       | make him so inspiring for me. His famed series of lectures at
       | Caltech were a great introduction to physics.
       | 
       | I was hoping to see more of his time at Los Alamos in the
       | _Oppenheimer_ biopic, but he doesn 't even seem to be in it.
       | There's supposedly someone playing him, but I don't see it; I
       | assume the two-second silent shot of someone from behind playing
       | the bongos was meant to be him.
        
         | isoprophlex wrote:
         | Yeah uh I was forever hoping for Feynmann to appear. Suddenly,
         | a man playing bongos! Finally, here he comes, I thought... but
         | no. No Feynmann. What a disappointment.
        
         | kitchi wrote:
         | There was the person who viewed the blast from behind glass
         | with no protection, which I'm pretty sure is a reference to his
         | story about the exact same thing.
        
         | privacyisntdead wrote:
         | A favorite of mine as well. I too was hoping for more of an
         | appearance. I wondered if Feynman's moment was during the first
         | test scene where there is a spectator/scientist sitting in a
         | car with Teller sitting in a lawn chair in the foreground.
         | Feynman says in one of his books he noticed the car windows
         | should block the UV radiation.
        
           | amiga386 wrote:
           | Ah, yes, that is it. So he gets a few more seconds in the
           | movie than I thought :)
           | 
           | [An army man is handing out welders glass to the observers.
           | Feynman is in a car, Teller is next to him in a deckchair
           | rubbing sun cream into his skin]
           | 
           | TELLER [to the army man while rubbing his hands]: On the leg,
           | please
           | 
           | ARMY MAN: Feynman
           | 
           | FEYNMAN: No. The glass [knocks on car windshield] stops the
           | UV
           | 
           | TELLER: And what stops the glass?
        
         | noslenwerdna wrote:
         | He's one of the scientists being recruited from a university
         | (they address him by name).
         | 
         | He also says something about building a cyclotron when they are
         | constructing Los Alamos.
         | 
         | And he sits behind a window of a car or truck during the atomic
         | test blast.
         | 
         | That's all I spotted
        
       | vasco wrote:
       | I'm not a mental health connoisseur or anything, but removing
       | your own pressure to perform seems like good advice regardless of
       | your circumstances. If you're tired or stressed or whatever,
       | labeling yourself as "a burned out person" seems to me like the
       | only good thing it does is add more pressure. Because how can you
       | do well if you're "damaged" in some way?
       | 
       | It's important to not just do old style sweep it under the rug
       | when it's serious, but I do think the current zeitgeist over
       | indexes on being a good person equating to being hyper aware of
       | all your struggles and anxieties and so on, and I don't see how
       | all that extra pressure will help, specially for young people.
       | Most times "it's not that big of a deal" is really the best thing
       | I can tell myself. That being said, asking for help from someone
       | that knows what they are talking about also seems like a good
       | idea, if you can't overcome it on your own. The universe doesn't
       | give you any extra points for doing it alone.
        
         | dexwiz wrote:
         | I view burnout as a psychic wound. You should be aware of it to
         | treat and not let it fester. At the same time, if you are
         | always messing with it then it won't heal.
         | 
         | I agree there is probably a balance, and we are currently
         | focusing too hard on it. I've had the same thought about the
         | obsession about childhood trauma from people with average
         | upbringings.
         | 
         | But both parents and work have heavy influences on how we live
         | our lives, so who else are you going to blame? Yourself? Don't
         | be silly.
        
         | ericmcer wrote:
         | Makes sense, we are taught that being "mindful" of our mental
         | state is key to mental health, but it also means everyone walks
         | around with a handful of self diagnosed mental deficits.
        
           | olyjohn wrote:
           | Being mindful of what you are doing, what you are thinking,
           | how you are feeling, and how you are reacting to things is
           | not diagnosing. You should probably leave the diagnosing part
           | to a professional if you feel that you really need help with
           | your mental health.
        
       | tnecniv wrote:
       | As a researcher, I've felt largely the same way lately. It's been
       | hard for me to even wrap up a project I was so excited about when
       | I started it that I missed sleep because I was that engaged.
       | Unfortunately, I don't have a cozy tenure position at a major
       | research institution to ride out the burnout until I feel
       | inspired again. I'm just a lowly postdoc.
       | 
       | I've thought about leaving the research life for a regular job,
       | but it's not obvious to me that would help. First, there's not
       | really other jobs I'd rather do. Second, the burnout has
       | penetrated so many facets of my life (various hobbies, etc.) I'm
       | not sure if it even is burnout or a deeper issue.
       | 
       | Therapy and medication has only been marginally helpful. I'm
       | really not sure what to do at this point.
        
         | fnord77 wrote:
         | burnout = depression
        
           | tnecniv wrote:
           | You are right, but the hard part for me is determining the
           | causality here. Am I depressed because I'm burnt out, or am I
           | feeling burnt out because I'm depressed?
        
             | chrisweekly wrote:
             | I suspect treatment will be much the same in either case.
        
             | bhaney wrote:
             | I usually try to avoid engaging in armchair psychology, but
             | "the burnout has penetrated so many facets of my life
             | (various hobbies, etc.)" makes me think it's depression
             | causing the burnout rather than the other way around.
        
           | kbf wrote:
           | I thought I was burnt out and just recently found out I had
           | an undiagnosed chronic illness, so that's a possibility
           | too...
        
         | jjtheblunt wrote:
         | Not sure it would help, but it may: adopt a rescue animal, if
         | you're a pet oriented person, and don't already have one, and
         | it may jar your perspectives in multiple dimensions as to what
         | is fun, what is entertaining, what is meaningful.
         | 
         | That worked for me when i felt like you describe.
        
           | tnecniv wrote:
           | I do love animals, but I've always been intimidated about the
           | responsibility of being the person solely in charge of that
           | animal's life. I've always struggled with routines and such
           | (I found out in adulthood I have ADHD).
           | 
           | I have thought about it lately, though. Maybe having that
           | responsibility will cause other things to click into place?
           | However, I'm worried about it not working and impacting a
           | life beyond my own.
        
             | janussunaj wrote:
             | Your concern is more of a sign that you'd be a responsible
             | pet parent. I don't have experience with dogs (rescue or
             | not), but caring for a cat is relatively straightforward
             | and can bring lots of joy. Writing this with a cat sleeping
             | on my lap, who showed up in my backyard a few years ago.
        
               | jjtheblunt wrote:
               | Caring for two cats is even easier because if their human
               | is boring because of concentration, they can entertain
               | each other. Works here, and with rescue dog in the mix
               | too.
               | 
               | Also, if the dog is fond of walks and hikes etc, that's
               | possibly super healthy for a break from sitting and
               | working. As the joke goes, "Ask me how I know." :)
        
           | earthling8118 wrote:
           | Only do this if you're serious. Depending on the animal you
           | could very well just add another negative thing to your life.
           | There are upsides, sure, but there's nothing that feels great
           | about walking into your bedroom and getting a nasty look from
           | an animal you put hours upon hours of work in per week for
           | because they don't like humans.
        
         | scrapcode wrote:
         | Man, I feel you. I'm not an academic, but I'm just feeling out
         | of breath and defeated lately. I grew up loving to build
         | software. Reading programming books, keeping up with tech. It's
         | the closest thing to work + passion that I think I've ever
         | felt. Joined the military to get out of my hometown. Worked in
         | whatever field I could remotely relate to while I finished my
         | BS:CS. Moved from non-IT fields into whatever IT-related field
         | I could hoping it'd get my resume closer to what I wanted to
         | do.
         | 
         | Now I'm just pigeon-holed into some boring bureaucratic IT
         | admin gig with just enough perks to keep me around, and big
         | enough dollar signs to prevent me from starting over in a
         | junior capacity. Then I see all of the discussions from people
         | that don't enjoy development after just a short time, get laid
         | off, etc - and it makes the reality that I'm just destined to
         | rot bored to death for 40hrs a week for the next 25+ years all
         | the more real.
         | 
         | I also realize I am extremely fortunate compared to plenty of
         | others, but that "tug" telling me I was destined for much more
         | gets stronger the older I get.
        
           | mikub wrote:
           | I think that one of the problems of us humans is that we want
           | to accomplish something, we tell our self storys about our
           | self how we should have become that or done that. But in the
           | end it really doesn't matter, even if you were Albert
           | Einstein, Richard Feynman or Marie Curie, in a few billion
           | years none of all the work any human ever did, everything
           | accomplished, won't matter, no one will be here to remember
           | anymore. I think the best one can do is to look at this world
           | with some sort of an observer mindset and be curious about
           | the things happening in this world, try not to judge the
           | things happening, just think "Oh, that's interesting, I
           | wonder why it is like that.". And of course, always try to be
           | friendly to other living beings, even if there might be no
           | afterlife after the end of the universe and you can't trade
           | in your browniepoints anymore, ther is no excuse for making
           | other peoples life worse than it already is. ;)
        
           | mattgreenrocks wrote:
           | That's the alarm system telling you to wake up and start
           | looking around for a change. For whatever reason, we seem to
           | have a meta-cognitive system that watches for stagnation and
           | creates unease when it is detected. Am convinced that you
           | can't disable it entirely, but you can self-mediate or ignore
           | it. Either route is not great, as you're aware on some level
           | that you're refusing your destiny (of sorts).
           | 
           | I think about this quote a lot:
           | 
           | "i keep re-encountering with a shock the way that most people
           | do not know, at all, that the problem the entire universe is
           | devoted to, that it crashes us into walls, throws us off
           | cliffs, tortures and murders us to try to solve, is that of
           | escaping local maxima"
           | 
           | - https://twitter.com/chaosprime/status/1248861223501942784?r
           | e...
           | 
           | Thus, I'd implore you to stick with the feeling and use it as
           | impetus to change for something new.
        
           | spencerflem wrote:
           | Incredibly relatable
        
         | nsagent wrote:
         | I'm in a similar boat. Not a postdoc yet, but will be starting
         | a postdoc in July (assuming I graduate in May, which I'm on
         | track for).
         | 
         | I've always been interested in the intersection of AI and
         | interactive storytelling. Worked in the game industry for a
         | while, then came back for a PhD when ML really started taking
         | off.
         | 
         | With the current frenzied climate in NLP research, I just feel
         | demotivated. Mainly because I think my research outlook is very
         | different from the mainstream, so I feel my work gets
         | undervalued or ignored entirely.
         | 
         | I spent over a year and a half on my last published research
         | project [1], and it's been largely ignored. Despite having
         | strong reviews after rebuttal, the paper was relegated to the
         | Findings of EMNLP, likely because my research was video game
         | related.
         | 
         | I'm usually the kind of person that focuses on things because I
         | care about them, rather than because others do, but the reality
         | is that hiring decisions in academia (or even industry) require
         | that others value your work. If I truly thought I could do
         | research I cared about and get paid a living, without having to
         | worry about whether others accepted it, I think I'd be much
         | more motivated.
         | 
         | [1]: https://pl.aiwright.dev
         | 
         | My site is a static site hosted on sourcehut, which is having
         | an outage. If it's still down, try
         | https://web.archive.org/web/20240110040908/https://pl.aiwrig...
        
           | tnecniv wrote:
           | I started my postdoc in August, but the burnout started
           | earlier, a few months before writing my dissertation.
           | Congrats on finishing your degree (almost)!
           | 
           | I also have kind of esoteric interests in my field but it
           | mostly hasn't bothered me. It certainly doesn't help with
           | matters though when sometimes I'm trying to motivate myself
           | and go "what's the point?"
           | 
           | I will say that one thing I've learned as a researcher is
           | that it's hard to know what people will and will not like.
           | I've received compliments on some of my least favorite papers
           | I've written. My advisor always told this story about how, as
           | a student, he won a best paper award for a paper that almost
           | decided not to publish because they thought the results
           | weren't strong enough.
        
           | godelski wrote:
           | > Mainly because I think my research outlook is very
           | different from the mainstream, so I feel my work gets
           | undervalued or ignored entirely.
           | 
           | You're not alone.
           | 
           | One of my first papers was in normalizing flows and I focused
           | on a niche area in there (if I said, I'd dox myself. Even
           | this limits the search a lot). Reviewers came back and asked
           | why my images weren't as good as SOTA GANs and just rejected.
           | Half my experiments were on density estimation... The other
           | reviews said I should be applying my methods to GANs instead,
           | but that wasn't even possible because I was explicitly
           | exploiting the distributional properties at each flow step.
           | 
           | My most cited paper is unpublished and the reviews I got back
           | were about why someone would want to train from scratch
           | instead of tuning a large model. Why we cared about such
           | things as small number of parameters or how to quickly train
           | models without overfitting because "bigger models generalize
           | better."
           | 
           | Fwiw, I'd have no issue accepting your work. It looks useful,
           | it advances domain knowledge, and is clearly written. I think
           | a lot of people lose sight that experiments are proxies and
           | that the tools we are working with are more general than the
           | specific applications we demonstrate.
        
         | flatline wrote:
         | Academia is a recipe for burnout. It's like pro sports, unless
         | you are the top 1% of the top 1% you may be able to keep eeking
         | by but will never be in a comfortable position. There is always
         | more to do and you do not get paid well for your time. You are
         | surrounded by people who pour their lives into their work and
         | it will be expected of you. The culture is extremely toxic and
         | dysfunctional.
         | 
         | Your lack of imagination as to another job is part of the trap.
         | Work can be enjoyable, pay well, and you can still have a
         | personal life, but academia sells itself as the only possible
         | trajectory for a certain type of person. _Most_ people leave
         | academia and many of them find meaningful work outside of that.
        
           | nextos wrote:
           | The problem in Academia is that its too crowded. With
           | crowding, in many fields, the _de facto_ way to progress has
           | become to play corridor and department politics. I know
           | completely clueless and incompetent researchers that made an
           | effortless transition to faculty positions at top 10
           | universities, whereas some great postdocs were stuck forever,
           | burnt out, and left. Ironically, some of said postdocs did
           | the work the others took credit for in order to be promoted.
           | 
           | Some fields are more prone to this kind of behavior and power
           | structures than others. Plus, in the past, it was much easier
           | for recent PhD graduates to progress to tenure-track
           | positions, without needing to do a postdoc (or many!) in
           | between.
           | 
           | Actually, some countries have established regulations to try
           | to prevent postdoc abuse, as faculty is typically interested
           | in getting them to do all work, giving them little credit,
           | etc. Some of my postdoc friends were supervising students,
           | designing studies, and writing grants but their names were
           | never officially on paper! Their PI used this as a way to
           | getting them trapped. Without e.g. supervision experience,
           | they would not be able to move to tenure-track positions,
           | thereby getting stuck with him (as cheap labor) forever.
        
             | godelski wrote:
             | > I know completely clueless and incompetent researchers
             | that made an effortless transition to faculty positions at
             | top 10 universities, whereas some great postdocs were stuck
             | forever, burnt out, and left. Ironically, some of said
             | postdocs did the work the others took credit for in order
             | to be promoted.
             | 
             | I've seen this, and it's happened to me. I'm at a much
             | lower ranking uni and we partner with higher ranking unis
             | and I can tell you that I know quite a number of people at
             | top 5 universities that do not know what an expectation
             | value, probability density, or covariance is. They get
             | attached to my papers but I do not get attached to their
             | papers, even if I put in more work than the reverse
             | situation (I can't tell you what some of my coauthors did).
             | I wrote an entire NSF grant, that we won, and my advisor
             | told me I only played a small role. Even if true, that
             | should be a red flag that the system is broken. Why is this
             | so much about politics?
             | 
             | What we're seeing is the meritocracy-metric paradox. Where
             | metrics are literally the biggest killers of any
             | meritocracies. Every metric can be hacked and the more
             | reliance you place upon them, the more they will be. The
             | problem is people think metrics perfectly align with
             | objectives and that this alignment is static throughout
             | time. Neither of those is true and it is baffling to me
             | that people either aren't willing to admit it or are
             | willing to and then just continue as if it didn't. The
             | world is fuzzy and metrics are just guides. I thought the
             | difference between humans and machines was that we could
             | generalize instructions to the intent and not the letter.
        
               | gen220 wrote:
               | In bureaucracies like this, the fish inenvitably rots
               | from the head. The people who offer the faculty positions
               | are incompetent or indifferent. And the people who hired
               | _those_ people are incompetent or indifferent.
               | 
               | As such, it's a mess that literally can't be solved from
               | within, it needs to be solved by the administration, and
               | the boards who appoint them. The tenure system means
               | it'll take generations to resolve.
               | 
               | Academia in the U.S. has seen systemic issues like this
               | in the past (see: eugenics). Unfortunately the
               | implication is that it'll continue to get worse until
               | it's mostly made better by people retiring.
        
               | htss2013 wrote:
               | What do you mean by eugenics? That academics studied
               | eugenics? Or that eugenics was widely popular among
               | academics?
               | 
               | I guess the pendulum always swings to the extreme other
               | direction. Today, the more disadvantaged your
               | intersectional identity, the better your prospects in
               | academia.
        
               | godelski wrote:
               | I agree, and I think that is the essence of the
               | meritocracy-metric paradox. Those that hacked the metric
               | become those in charge. I think that only reinforces the
               | idea of metric hacking. I really think this concept is
               | playing out at large and not just academia.
        
         | bee_rider wrote:
         | I think this is something... I dunno, it ought to be obvious,
         | but maybe we miss it in the general public? The tenure system
         | is partially there because it is actually good to give smart
         | people the latitude to screw around and play with problems.
         | 
         | And good ideas have the element of play. If academics have to
         | retreat to complexity, nobody will be able to follow...
        
           | godelski wrote:
           | > The tenure system is partially there because it is actually
           | good to give smart people the latitude to screw around and
           | play with problems.
           | 
           | The tenure system doesn't work like most people think it
           | does. It is not "I made it, now I can just do whatever I want
           | without getting fired." You still have publication quotas and
           | you end up having more bureaucratic work. Even with all the
           | admins that schools have hired, there is just more work for
           | professors.
           | 
           | > If academics have to retreat to complexity, nobody will be
           | able to follow...
           | 
           | And? The world in complex. Simplicity is the goal, but it is
           | the simplest description that also adequately explains the
           | thing. That's not going to end up being very simple and
           | there's a reason you see physicists learning very complex
           | mathematics. It should absolutely make sense that complexity
           | takes over as we advance our knowledge as a species because
           | the simple things are easier to understand and are understood
           | first. If things are not getting more complex over time,
           | that's a sign that we are either really fucking dumb (having
           | missed many simple things) or that we simply understand
           | things with higher resolution. Simplicity is for the Luddites
           | (this is literally a key part of that history).
        
         | godelski wrote:
         | I'm in a similar position. At the end of my PhD I feel like I
         | want to drop out. I do ML research and I just lost faith in the
         | academic system.
         | 
         | Research is my absolute favorite thing to do but everything
         | else surrounding it I just absolutely hate and it feels
         | draining and worthless. Ideas get dismissed without
         | explanations (even after asking), publication process is
         | incredibly noisy and when you get a nonsensical review (I can
         | share) people just say "shit happens" or "weird" and then it
         | happens again and again, and advisors and managers want weekly
         | updates but visible progress in a project goes through wild
         | cycles of lots of work with little to nothing to show vs low
         | work where it looks like lots of progress is made (e.g. tuning
         | models). It just feels like hell. I'm always thinking about my
         | projects because they sincerely interest and captivate me but I
         | feel like the systems we have built around what is entirely a
         | creative process is structured for routine work. I'm being
         | asked to do things that have never been done before -- and I
         | love this, it is the ultimate puzzle -- but how the fuck do you
         | expect me to give accurate ETAs and to do this 3-5 times a year
         | and launch ground breaking work with some 2080Ti nodes and
         | maybe one A100 node? How ground breaking of work can it be if
         | it is done in a few months? I am supposed to do this by myself
         | and compete against a team of Google engineers? This publish or
         | perish paradigm is absolute bullshit and we're at a point where
         | fucking Nvidia asked for a new PhD to have 8 top conference 1st
         | author publications.
         | 
         | Therapy and medication definitely help, and I were I not to
         | start them I, without a doubt, would have dropped out. But I
         | think we need to have a very serious discussion about the
         | systems that we have in place and how we're continually
         | shooting ourselves in the foot with this fucking rat race.
         | Maybe I'm just a bad researcher, because it does seem that
         | there are a lot of highly successful people. But if I'm being
         | honest, when I talk to those people I can't see anything that
         | they are doing different other than opportunities/resources and
         | possibly better mentoring. There are of course people that
         | stand out and I can definitely see their genius when talking to
         | them, but for the vast majority of researchers I really can't
         | tell what makes the difference between making it and breaking
         | it. I can't tell what makes a paper work and not work.
         | 
         | I really just want to spend my days reading math books, hacking
         | away at ML systems, and trying to understand what this whole
         | thing around consciousness, intelligence, and sentience is. But
         | I don't know how to make this life. It isn't academia and it
         | isn't industry. So how do I be born rich? Can we get to post
         | scarcity yet?
        
           | nsagent wrote:
           | Sounds like we are in a similar boat :-/
        
             | godelski wrote:
             | I'm really sorry to hear that. It's fucking rough. But I'd
             | encourage you to speak up if you do agree about the
             | systematic issues. I think the existing momentum is strong
             | and because there is enough success most people do not feel
             | the need to improve the system and failures (like me) blame
             | it on themselves (like me). But I think I can be a failure
             | AND the system can be bad too.
        
         | thefaux wrote:
         | Before I left academia, I felt that I would be a terrible
         | failure. The people I was surrounded by looked at leaving the
         | academy as a sad admission of defeat. In retrospect, I think
         | this was largely a reflection of their own insecurity and lack
         | of perspective because most had never been outside of the
         | academic bubble.
         | 
         | Life on the outside is different. Having been gone over a
         | decade, there are some things I miss and that are definitely
         | hard to find in other environments. On the other hand, I feel
         | immeasurably better about myself not having to beg to toil away
         | on projects of questionable significance that happen to have
         | funding and be stuck in the precarity of borderline poverty in
         | the service of supposedly higher ideals.
        
           | max_ wrote:
           | What things do you miss in academia that you didn't find in
           | industry?
        
         | academic_tmp22 wrote:
         | As academic with the tenure job, I don't think it gets easier
         | with the tenure -- you'll have to do more non-research stuff,
         | admin, teaching, supervisions, grading, grant writing etc.
         | (some people like it, but I just prefer research)
         | 
         | I do have burn-out certainly that appeared after I had a
         | faculty job for a few years. That mostly has affected my
         | overtime research work, which previously would take most of my
         | free-time, but now I try to spend more of my free time on
         | hobbies.
         | 
         | My advice is that unless you can overcome burnout somehow, not
         | to try tenure positions in the states, because there you'll
         | have to work really hard to get to tenure. I think positions in
         | Europe tend to be often tenured from the beginning (i.e. UK) so
         | it may be easier.
         | 
         | (throwaway account)
        
           | tnecniv wrote:
           | Yeah I'm not sure I'd go the tenure route anyway. I'd rather
           | do research than manage people doing research on my half-
           | baked ideas. Fortunately, in my field, there's options to
           | publish as an industry research. Unfortunately, those jobs
           | dried up last year along with all the other tech jobs when I
           | was searching.
           | 
           | I guess the tricky thing (maybe it suggests it's not burnout
           | but some other source of depression) is that I haven't been
           | motivated by my hobbies either. It's been hard to find much
           | joy in anything as of late.
        
         | borroka wrote:
         | > First, there's not really other jobs I'd rather do.
         | 
         | I suspect there are many jobs you would do, but you have to
         | allow yourself to let go of the dreams, the ambitions, the
         | identity you have built in academia.
         | 
         | A few years ago, almost seven, I decided to leave academia,
         | after a PhD and many years as a post doc, more than 50 journal
         | papers published, awards and recognition in my field. I loved
         | doing research, writing papers and thinking about the new
         | advances I would make.
         | 
         | Why the change of mind and career? First, it seemed that my
         | time as a researcher had passed, and that I was becoming an old
         | postdoc with little appeal to universities and research
         | institutions. Second, I was growing tired of earning little
         | money. Third, it was beginning to look like I was doing similar
         | research to what I was doing 5 years earlier, and I had a
         | feeling that it would be the same research I would be doing 5
         | years down the road.
         | 
         | I started interviewing for positions in (tech) industry, got a
         | monetary offer 5 times what I was making as a senior postdoc,
         | started a new career, and never looked back. The last part is
         | not entirely true. At times, I look back and regret the last 5
         | years I spent in academia. I could have had a faster career in
         | tech, earned much more money, and would have met bright and
         | motivated people sooner. The world is full of interesting
         | technical problems that need to be solved.
        
           | etrautmann wrote:
           | This is true for a surprisingly large number of people. It's
           | very easy to lose time in a post doc that's not either fun
           | science or advancing your career in a high ROI way. Many post
           | docs don't have the experience and diversity of perspective
           | required to recognize this trap, and nobody around them is
           | incentivized to help. This is true whether you're planning to
           | stay in academia or not.
        
             | borroka wrote:
             | This is one of the reasons I stopped informally mentoring
             | postdocs. It was an exercise in frustration. It was like
             | telling someone who had only had one
             | husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend in their life (and now
             | has left or is leaving) that there were many other people
             | in the world with whom they could have been as happy as
             | they were with their ex (willy-nilly), and even much
             | happier, if only they had allowed themselves to experience
             | their new world.
             | 
             | "They (the research/partner) are all I have loved in my
             | life," "I can't imagine myself with anyone else/with any
             | other job." The arguments were remarkably similar and
             | equally frustrating to deal with.
        
               | heresie-dabord wrote:
               | There is only so much one can do for people in that
               | situation. They need to close the chapter themselves.
               | Their Stockholm Syndrome [1] is a mix of helplessness and
               | _Sunken Cost_ fallacy [2].
               | 
               | People invest heavily, are _encouraged_ to believe by the
               | power structure, and suffer as they slowly begin to see
               | that they have been beguiled (scammed).
               | 
               | [1] _ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome
               | 
               | [2] _ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunk_cost
        
           | tnecniv wrote:
           | Well I should clarify. There are jobs that I can do
           | certainly, but very few that I've thought would given me the
           | internal satisfaction of what academia used to give me (and I
           | think could give me again). Before I was hired as a postdoc I
           | applied for various research scientist positions at places
           | that would still let me publish, but then all the hiring
           | freezes happened. Whether that counts as academia is in the
           | eye of the beholder but at least they pay better.
           | 
           | The only other gig I can think of that would excite me is
           | being a statistical analyst for a baseball team. I know more
           | than one person who made that transition after getting their
           | PhD. Something else is probably out there, too, but I haven't
           | discovered it for myself yet.
        
             | borroka wrote:
             | > There are jobs that I can do certainly, but very few that
             | I've thought would given me the internal satisfaction of
             | what academia used to give me (and I think could give me
             | again).
             | 
             | My comment is not meant to be advice-column material, but I
             | get the impression that as long as you think that "[there
             | are] very few [jobs] that I've thought would give me the
             | internal satisfaction of what academia used to give me,"
             | you are unlikely to resolve or leave behind your current
             | frustration. This is not an invitation to try all the jobs
             | for which you might be qualified, but until you have tried
             | some of them, you cannot know.
             | 
             | Before I left academia, although I was a fairly well-
             | rounded person in general, looking back at what I thought
             | at the time, I didn't have a clue about the tech industry,
             | the private sector, the tools used, the money I could make,
             | the weekends spent doing things that weren't trying again
             | to run a simulation model that no one was interested in
             | anyway.
             | 
             | But, as I said in another comment, it's like listening to
             | someone say "I'll never find a man like him again" while
             | you think that that man, who you know, is for you in the
             | bottom 15% of men with IQ>70. You are incredulous, you
             | can't understand how someone could say that, but here we
             | are. She has to broaden her perspective to understand what
             | you now know, and all the words said in the meantime will
             | be forgotten, like wind in the pines.
        
           | godelski wrote:
           | This sounds like you're describing a system that is a failure
           | but that the solution is not to fix the system but to give up
           | and do something else. Can we not fix academia? Is the signal
           | of so many people, especially in CS, abandoning academia for
           | industry not as clear of a sign as you can get? I feel crazy
           | because it feels like everyone either does not want to admit
           | the system is broken or will admit it but not want to do
           | anything about it (which maybe is simply fatigue).
        
             | borroka wrote:
             | First, a postdoc on the way out of academia is not going to
             | fix academia.
             | 
             | Second, how is the system broken? There are mismanaged
             | resources, some nepotism (in the U.S., a lot of nepotism if
             | we look at countries other than the U.S. or the like), some
             | research questions that are (wrongly) favored, but it
             | doesn't change the fact that many more PhDs with academic
             | career ambitions are being produced than there are (and
             | will be) positions available. And this is not just an
             | academia problem: the same mismatch between supply and
             | demand is found in many other creative and aspirational
             | careers, think actors, singers, sports. Only a small
             | percentage of those who want that life can get it, and
             | those who are left out are often frustrated by the
             | perceived unfairness of life. But that does not change the
             | fact that many aspiring creatives, because of that massive
             | mismatch between supply and demand, will not be able to
             | pursue those careers.
             | 
             | Sure, more permanent research positions could be thought of
             | instead of forcing careers through the very narrow
             | bottleneck of tenure track positions, but the vast majority
             | of PhDs with academic ambitions (at least 8 out 10) will
             | not have the opportunity to make that career, and they are
             | (or are themselves) being bread-crumbed for years and years
             | hoping that their dreams will, one day, come true. But they
             | won't come true. And, as soon as they find another
             | fulfilling occupation, they will find out it was not a real
             | dream anyway, just a dream they thought they had.
        
               | godelski wrote:
               | > Second, how is the system broken?
               | 
               | I want to d my best to respond, but can you help me
               | determine my audience? That way I can be clear? Are you
               | coming from inside or outside academia? If inside, what
               | field? If outside, have you gone through a graduate
               | program? Which decade? No need to give highly specific
               | answers, I'm just trying to get some additional context
               | to best respond. There are problems more visible to those
               | inside and often nuanced and problems that are invisible
               | to outside.
        
             | tnecniv wrote:
             | When I was still a PhD student, my advisor lamented that he
             | couldn't find postdocs to hire because big tech was paying
             | them more for the same role with minimal constraints. If
             | that kept going for a while, I imagine it'd put pressure on
             | at least some parts of academia (CS and engineering don't
             | expect you to do a series of postdocs like biology does,
             | and pure math has their own system of seniority I only know
             | a little about). The money dried up though.
        
               | borroka wrote:
               | I think having trouble finding a postdoc is a good
               | outcome of the process, the incentives in this case are
               | working properly. Postdoc positions were designed as a
               | short bridge between a PhD and a tenure-track position,
               | not as a long-term crutch for people who are not ready to
               | leave academic research.
        
               | godelski wrote:
               | I literally went through this recently with someone in my
               | department. They wanted to know what professors did
               | similar research to me at R1 universities of comparable
               | rank. I told them no one and they didn't believe me. I
               | sent them an annotated version of a bibliography to a
               | survey paper I had recently written, writing down where
               | each person worked. I just don't think they understand
               | that right now, as an intern for a big tech company I am
               | making more money than some of our junior professors.
               | When I can get a full time position my cash in hand
               | compensation goes up, plus equity and more benefits (like
               | 401k). Who the hell would go into academia? You have
               | lower pay, fewer resources, and more bureaucratic BS.
               | There's lots of bureaucracy in industry too, don't get me
               | wrong, but it's easier to deal with when you're getting
               | paid more.
               | 
               | A post doc position wants me to move across the country,
               | into a major city, and pay me $50k/yr for a position with
               | low growth opportunities and where I will have to move
               | again in another few years? No thanks.
        
             | glitchc wrote:
             | In the academic system, positions are globally accessible
             | and therefore hyper-competitive. Moreover, headcount grows
             | slowly as it depends on funding and attrition through
             | retirement/death. As such, demand outstrips supply. Strip
             | everything extraneous away and that's the heart of it.
             | 
             | If enough post-docs leave, it will reduce the demand for
             | tenure-track positions. Eventually fewer PhDs will become
             | post-docs, further decreasing demand.
        
             | gwd wrote:
             | > This sounds like you're describing a system that is a
             | failure but that the solution is not to fix the system but
             | to give up and do something else. Can we not fix academia?
             | 
             | The problem with academia is basic mathematics. In a system
             | where there are a fixed number of tenured professorships,
             | where each tenured professor has the job for life, each
             | professor should produce only a single tenure-track PhD
             | student _in their entire career_.
             | 
             | OK, so to deal with attrition and other unforeseen
             | circumstances, perhaps 10 tenured professors should produce
             | 11 tenure-track PhD students. But definitely not the
             | situation we have now, where each professor produces dozens
             | of PhD students in the course of their career who go on to
             | attempt to get tenure.
             | 
             | The people trying to get tenure don't want to admit the
             | system is broken, because that would be to admit they _just
             | weren 't good enough_ to get tenure.
             | 
             | The people who _have_ tenure have every incentive to keep
             | it going, because it means they have an army of highly-
             | skilled and highly-motivated postdocs willing to work long
             | hours for peanuts for a decade or two.
        
               | godelski wrote:
               | It's a bit worse than that. Prestige matters a lot too.
               | General rule of thumb is that you can only apply to a
               | position at a university of equal or lesser ranking than
               | the one you were previously at. (obviously can still
               | climb the ladder, in many ways, but this is a strong
               | pattern all throughout the process from High School to
               | Tenure) You're exactly right about the number of
               | positions problem too. Because clearly the result of this
               | is that the quality and methods from higher ranking
               | institutions diffuse into lower ranking ones. Hell, when
               | I was at a community college I had a professor from
               | Harvard and several from Berkeley. Prestigue doesn't make
               | sense in a system like that because you can't maintain an
               | edge when you are literally telling the people you
               | trained to go work somewhere else.
               | 
               | I think you're exactly right about the reasons people
               | keep quiet. But this is not helpful to anyone, especially
               | the universities. They are certainly losing a lot of
               | money and even prestige from all of this. You don't make
               | Nobel laureates with publish or perish. But no one wants
               | to shake things up, which is weird because academia is
               | __explicitly__ supposed to be the place where you can
               | focus on things that aren't profit driven. Or at least
               | short ROI. It is a loss for the country too, as it means
               | a lot of academics move away from low risky TRL research
               | and follow a model much closer to industry research
               | (which is profit driven) Historically industry has
               | (generally) relied on academic research doing low TRL and
               | then they bring it to mid and high TRL.
               | 
               | We've lost sight of what we're trying to accomplish.
        
         | dexwiz wrote:
         | I think there is a kind of grief associated with growing up
         | that people don't talk about. When you are young and inspired
         | it seems like life is long and you can do anything, branching
         | paths with unlimited doors. Once you're an adult, your past
         | choices narrow down your future paths, and your sense of age
         | starts to set in. In some way you mourn the paths not taken.
         | This is called mortality, and can be a nasty combo with other
         | depressive factors.
         | 
         | As you get older, you realize some doors not yet stepped
         | through are now closed, and less doors are opened by others for
         | you. Life can start to feel like a hallway with the investable
         | at the end. While less doors are open now, life is still very
         | free. You may now be able to see decades into your past, but
         | you still cannot see into your future. There are many open
         | doors still hidden, they just take a bit more searching. Good
         | news, you are an adult with years of life experience, you can
         | go find them.
        
           | tnecniv wrote:
           | Coincidentally, I was rewatching the first season of True
           | Detective last night and they were talking about this in the
           | show. I almost turned it off because it was too real for me
           | at the moment.
        
           | weakfish wrote:
           | I just wanted to say thank you for this comment, it helped a
           | lot of with some general anxieties plaguing me lately.
        
           | wnolens wrote:
           | I need a support group for this idea. Can't seem to accept it
           | and walk through some doors, abandoning the other paths. It's
           | sparked a major depression in me.
        
         | bdowling wrote:
         | You could try going on an adventure, ideally a real one that is
         | a little bit dangerous.
        
           | tnecniv wrote:
           | That does always seem to work in the movies
        
         | TimPC wrote:
         | As someone who initially started my career in academia I've
         | been much happier since leaving. There are opportunities across
         | industrial R&D that are far saner in terms of compensation and
         | while they are slightly more restrictive in terms of what you
         | work on there are still chances to do interesting research.
        
           | godelski wrote:
           | There definitely are, but to be honest, my passion is
           | research at low TRL. Industry is saner, but they necessarily
           | work at a higher TRL because they are not just profit
           | motivated, but need to make profits from your research in 6
           | months to 3 years.
        
       | skadamat wrote:
       | Jonathan Blow has a great talk on long projects (The Witness was
       | like 8 years in development?) here which I watch once in a while:
       | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0m0jIzJfiQ
       | 
       | Some highlights:
       | 
       | - He takes a week long vacation every now and then to hack on a
       | completely different game idea for fun, with the focus on it
       | being short and fun
       | 
       | - Time for relaxation and unstructured thinking
       | 
       | - Walks / showers can produce amazing ideas
        
       | hathawsh wrote:
       | While this passage is inspiring, it boils down to:
       | 1. Get good at something       2. Get paid for doing it       3.
       | Get burned out by doing it       4. Return to the fun way of
       | doing it       5. ???       6. Win a Nobel prize or similar
       | 
       | How repeatable is that pattern? Is that one of the patterns we
       | want to teach the next generation? Serious question. I don't know
       | the answer. Feynman is obviously rather exceptional. Should we
       | encourage people to follow a path like his?
        
         | metalrain wrote:
         | Pattern like that isn't repeatable, but idea of letting go of
         | expectations to recover the joy of doing whatever you are doing
         | is.
        
           | b8 wrote:
           | I heavily agree. I got in to security and programming by
           | doing fund video game hacking stuff. Then I got paid to do
           | it, lost the joy and got fired, then started to do it
           | recreationally again and the dopamine rush/addiction is back.
        
         | MissingAFew wrote:
         | I think the takeaway from the anecdote is that you should have
         | fun with the simple things if you have "writers block" or are
         | tired. Try to get a new perspective on something.
        
         | smugglerFlynn wrote:
         | Not sure how Nobel prize got on your list.
         | 
         | I read it that way:
         | 
         | - Things become taxing when they stop being fun
         | 
         | - Doing fun things and playing around whatever interests you is
         | the way to make things less taxing
         | 
         | - _Sometimes_ things you play with are also useful to others
         | 
         | Although I am not sure if it is always possible to match what
         | you are getting paid for to what you consider being fun.
         | Feynman gives no answer for this.
        
           | hathawsh wrote:
           | To clarify, the Nobel prize comment is a reference to the
           | last sentence of the passage: "The diagrams and the whole
           | business that I got the Nobel Prize for came from that
           | piddling around with the wobbling plate."
        
             | smugglerFlynn wrote:
             | I understand. I just wanted to point out that pattern does
             | not seem to have Nobel/etc reward built into it, neither it
             | is a strategy to achieve something other than having fun
             | and discovering random things that interest you. Everything
             | else is coincidental.
             | 
             | You might easily end up living on the street by applying
             | that strategy.
             | 
             | On the other hand, some of the best results I ever got
             | professionally were coming from that exact state of play
             | that Feynman describes.
        
         | bee_rider wrote:
         | Most people aren't Feynman and won't get a Nobel prize whatever
         | strategy they follow.
         | 
         | Finding a fun way to do things does seem like it produces
         | better solutions, though. I mean, if you dread reading about
         | your solution, what do you expect from people who don't even
         | want to devote their life to it?
        
           | divyaranjan1905 wrote:
           | Or, act as if you're excited about it, how visionary you are.
        
             | bee_rider wrote:
             | I guess it depends on the audience you are looking for. If
             | you want to specifically target the gullible or you are
             | really good at lying, this might be a great strategy.
        
         | fatherzine wrote:
         | on 4, the fun way of doing it is teaching / helping others
         | doing it. coincidentally, that's the most common path to escape
         | the toxic loop.
        
         | kevinsync wrote:
         | When I read the OP link, #4 is both the eureka moment of your
         | list AND the last item on the list.
         | 
         | There is no #5 and #6. You can't predict what happens next.
         | 
         | The lesson is to let go of your ego and self-imposed,
         | prescriptive ideas of 'importance' and realize that while
         | important things do matter, they also simultaneously often
         | don't matter at all (in the grand scheme of things)
         | 
         | This is a function of time; in the moment, stuff that feels
         | intractable and overwhelming often can be seen in hindsight
         | with enough clarity to realize that what you were feeling at
         | the time and what was objective reality were two completely
         | different things.
         | 
         | Anyways, not trying to get all "The Dude" about it, but in my
         | experience, as long as you continue to show up, and be patient,
         | present and available for opportunities, things you weren't
         | even looking for have a way of finding you and lead to stuff
         | that you could never have forced into existence through sheer
         | willpower alone. If you can find a way to let all the baggage
         | go and reboot to a place of genuine curiosity, you might be
         | surprised where you eventually find yourself.
         | 
         | YMMV of course.
         | 
         | (and no, I'm not preaching "manifestation" / "law of
         | attraction" bullshit -- just advocating for people who hit a
         | wall creatively to consider stepping off the treadmill,
         | releasing the pressure valve, and seeing where they end up)
        
         | godelski wrote:
         | My takeaway is a bit different. My takeaway is that the system
         | has been killing researchers' passion for research for decades
         | (I think it's only gotten worse) and turns them into less
         | effective researchers. That the solution here is to make a
         | system that encourages the things that got people so passionate
         | in their field in the first place. At some point, nearly
         | everyone that does a PhD is doing it out of passion (I say
         | nearly because money, jobs, and immigration are certainly other
         | important influences). Those big advancements often come out of
         | that love and play. Which should make sense that when you're
         | trying to create or discover something that no one else has
         | ever done before that you have to... explore. You have to play,
         | you have to question, you have to push the bounds and reject
         | established beliefs and do things that might not even make
         | sense. Because if you did do the status quo, then we'd have
         | figured out those things previously. Clearly to advance we have
         | to do something different. But I think very few people want to
         | be open about the absurdity of the system that we have. I think
         | part of this is due to the fact that it is easier to place
         | blame for lack of success on yourself when you see others
         | succeeding around you (I certainly know I do. I just don't
         | think that I'm the only thing that is a failure).
         | 
         | My literal solution is to just say fuck it to the
         | journal/publishing system and to the publish or perish
         | paradigm. Papers are simply a means to communicate to other
         | researchers, and we already know how to find one another on
         | arxiv, semantic/google scholar, and so many other platforms.
         | Research is ambiguous and you never know where leaps and bounds
         | are going to come out of, even if you know the general
         | direction. The devil is in the details because nuance is the
         | essence of what makes things work, especially as we've
         | advanced. We have all these admins at universities, why are
         | they not doing all the bureaucratic bullshit that is draining
         | to researchers and let the researchers focus on what they love
         | and do best?
         | 
         | What Feynman is saying is that researchers are the other side
         | of "fuck around and find out." So you want effective
         | researchers? Let them fuck around and they will find things
         | out.
        
         | fritzo wrote:
         | Seems similar to Feynman's classic problem solving technique:
         | 1. Write down the problem         2. Think very hard         3.
         | Write down the solution
         | 
         | https://wiki.c2.com/?FeynmanAlgorithm
        
         | marginalia_nu wrote:
         | I we replace the Nobel prize part with some sort of
         | accomplishment, this is largely the pattern that lead up to my
         | own building an internet search engine.
         | 
         | Though I think it's pretty dodgy career advice. Existential
         | crises are harrowing. It's a dark pit you fumble through for
         | years. 1/5 stars on trip advisor.
        
       | BubbleRings wrote:
       | For a really cool video from the International Space Station
       | about a phenomenon related to the spinning plate stuff, see here:
       | 
       | Dancing T-handle in zero-g, HD
       | 
       | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n-HMSCDYtM
        
         | phkahler wrote:
         | That is really interesting. I know it's not correct to simulate
         | rigid body dynamics as constant unless an outside force is
         | applied, but what to do differently is not obvious to me. That
         | looks like the object changes orientation while it's world-
         | coordinates momentum vector remains unchanged. Got any
         | references for why that happens?
         | 
         | I mean orientation changes regarding the flip, not the obvious
         | spinning motion.
        
           | BubbleRings wrote:
           | Not me. I only understand half your post, to tell you the
           | truth.
           | 
           | But Derek Muller on the youtube channel Veritasium has a good
           | video on this, where he mentions how, when asked one time,
           | Feynman couldn't think of a simple way to describe how it
           | works, and then Muller goes on to explain it in a way that I
           | could see. Great stuff:
           | 
           | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VPfZ_XzisU
        
       | primitivesuave wrote:
       | I was severely burned out two years ago after I left the last
       | startup I cofounded. I had a good bit of cash saved up, so I
       | traveled around the world to get better at rock climbing. I could
       | barely write more than a few lines of code before closing my
       | laptop. I would rather sit on the beach and stare at the waves
       | than do anything productive back then.
       | 
       | When I got home from my trip around the world, I struggled to
       | build anything meaningful - I'd get intensely bored after
       | starting a new project, and move on to something else. The first
       | project that I took to completion was reprogramming my Lifx smart
       | bulbs. There was a noticeable delay between turning a light
       | on/off in the iOS app, and the light actually changing its state.
       | Sometimes the app and lightbulb would get their states out of
       | sync, and I didn't like the idea of some light bulb company
       | knowing my schedule. Even for first-world problems though, it was
       | hardly worth solving.
       | 
       | I discovered there is a binary protocol to control the lights
       | directly over the local network, so I developed an extensive
       | TypeScript library to control the lights and build custom web
       | interfaces to serve as light switches. I found a guy on the Lifx
       | forums who built his own crude solution with Python scripts, and
       | he became my first consulting client. That client's referral led
       | me to a variety of interesting work opportunities over the past
       | year. Noticing similarities across a variety of these projects
       | led me to start a new company a few months ago to build a product
       | to address them.
       | 
       | My point being, sometimes you just have to sit down and play.
        
       | edu_do_cerrado wrote:
       | Very inspiring passage. I had this feeling of playing around with
       | stuff (Programming in my case) in the beginning of my studies,
       | but it faded away over time because of work. Even though I work
       | in a wonderful project, I feel burned out a lot nowadays. Might
       | lookout for that initial feeling again now, I probably won't
       | achieve as much as Feynman, but I hope that removing the pressure
       | and enjoying what I'm doing might be good for mental health
        
       | smugglerFlynn wrote:
       | There is a highly relevant and resent research on the state of
       | play, nicely summarised on Huberman Lab Podcast:
       | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwyZIWeBpRw
        
       | cs702 wrote:
       | A classic. Any and all administrators tasked with evaluating
       | research-funding proposals should be _required to read this short
       | passage_ before making any funding decisions, so they can be
       | reminded that groundbreaking research is driven mainly by
       | _intellectual curiosity_ , not by metrics that seek to quantify
       | "relevance" or "importance."
        
       | ryandv wrote:
       | The pandemic burned me out pretty hard after a lifelong obsession
       | with computers, tinkering around with technology back when it was
       | more of a hobby than a commercial pursuit. It was nice to be able
       | to parley my passion into a career, but contact with the world of
       | business tends to corrupt what I always viewed as a form of play
       | and artistic expression.
       | 
       | I like simple technologies like IRC. You don't need K8s clusters
       | or deployment pipelines. String together everything with a
       | smattering of bash because nothing is really at stake. It's easy
       | to get started since the tech is as simple as it gets, and
       | there's nothing actually on the line. You can practice using
       | obscure languages never seen in industry. Do things because they
       | make you laugh, not to build a portfolio or a product. At the
       | least, I can still crank out a modest amount of code and actually
       | enjoy the process, without tearing my hair out over whatever
       | asinine enterprise-scale clusterfuck needs to be untangled now.
       | 
       | Still waiting for whatever is next.
        
         | oldandboring wrote:
         | This is the closest comment I could find to how I experience my
         | burnout. Nothing makes me more anxious than realizing that I
         | fall further behind every day I'm not spending (unbillable)
         | time becoming an expert in all the dev/ops tooling that somehow
         | became indispensable the past 5-10 years. It's funny because I
         | used to LOVE computers as a teenager because I loved setting up
         | and configuring Unix systems. Now, as a developer, the idea of
         | writing configurations instead of code just makes my hair stand
         | on end.
        
           | mbm wrote:
           | The complexity has increased exponentially, but the user
           | experience has not.
        
             | phone8675309 wrote:
             | If anything, it's regressed.
             | 
             | All of this complex tooling gives devops the ability to say
             | "sorry, no capacity, see you in two quarters".
        
         | smugglerFlynn wrote:
         | Just some random thoughts, but I've started during the era of
         | J2EE monoliths still being on the rise, when Web 1.0 -> 2.0 was
         | only starting its transition, Python still being niche etc.
         | Amount of _insanely boring and inefficient stuff_ like digging
         | through all the XML APIs and CORBA was self-evident.
         | 
         | It was fun to build totally new (and much simpler) tools,
         | shortcutting quite literal man-years of work with each
         | solution. Like rewriting half of some insanely expensive and
         | over bloated million-dollar Oracle enterprise product into web
         | app that we crunched out in a weekend over pizzas, and then
         | demoed and validated with our clients before next week ended.
         | 
         | Over the years all this exciting new way of doing things has
         | somehow evolved into what feels very much like the older dig-
         | through-XML-schemas-for-hours world.
         | 
         | What I miss the most is the shared mindset of focusing on the
         | problem, using simple tools that were build for purpose. That
         | mindset was commonplace back then, at least in my circle. Maybe
         | that's just a phase (cycle?) the industry goes through.
        
           | mbm wrote:
           | This.
        
       | juris wrote:
       | The other day I had remarked to an old gal (the proprietor) of a
       | local strip mall toy store that I walked into on a whim that
       | "really this is where it all started". Round hole, square block
       | diagonally (almost anyway); oh that can's label so perfectly
       | lines up with the tiling of this table when it's rolled across
       | it; oh that soap dispenser pump has the -same threading- as this
       | vodka bottle and screws on just easy...and so on. It would turn
       | out that that old gal wrote a bunch of code for some local
       | military contractors waaay back when and had quite the reputation
       | for connecting the unlikeliest of systems together. The corporate
       | types would naysay whether a thing could be done, and she'd have
       | it back on their desk within 3 hours. And now she runs a toy
       | store, and loves it!!! Feeling burned out myself, I took from
       | that conversation some modicum of hope that looking at problems
       | as //play// is what I need personally-- and prospects look better
       | for it! Happy to hear that Feynman would agree.
        
       | arisAlexis wrote:
       | Greatest book I've ever read
        
       | danjc wrote:
       | I see a parallel to short vs long term thinking here that applies
       | to R&D.
       | 
       | When quarterly results are the priority, innovation is stifled
       | but what's insidious is that this only becomes evident over a
       | long time span.
        
       | dang wrote:
       | Related:
       | 
       |  _Feynman 's Nobel Ambition_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31236758 - May 2022 (1
       | comment)
       | 
       |  _Feynman: I am burned out and I 'll never accomplish anything
       | (1985)_ - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26931359 - April
       | 2021 (276 comments)
       | 
       |  _Feynman: I am burned out and I 'll never accomplish anything_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10585890 - Nov 2015 (22
       | comments)
       | 
       |  _Feynman: I am burned out and I 'll never accomplish anything_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3874875 - April 2012 (66
       | comments)
        
       | systems_glitch wrote:
       | I feel like Bell Labs was the biggest loss of "play at it, see if
       | something important comes out" possible. Never worked there, but
       | a lot of friends did, from the 50s thru the Lucent transition
       | right up to the end.
        
       | RationalDino wrote:
       | Based on his biographies, I think that Feynman had ADHD. He never
       | demonstrated an ability to do things because he thought he should
       | do them. And, as this story shows, trying just resulted in a
       | demotivated and unproductive Feynman. On the other hand he
       | accomplished great results when pulled by desire. Especially in
       | the form of play.
       | 
       |  _Surely You Must Be Joking_ does a great job of showing how he
       | kept coming back to play throughout his life. Everything from
       | lock picking at Los Alamos, to playing the bongo drums.
       | 
       |  _What Do You Care What Other People Think_ has an extended
       | description of the creation of Appendix F about the shuttle
       | disaster. See https://history.nasa.gov/rogersrep/v2appf.htm for
       | that. As someone who has been in the state, it is clear that he
       | was in a state of hyperfocus. I've never matched what Feynman
       | could do, but it comes as no surprise to me that he'd realize
       | that he could get away with learning about a topic others didn't
       | want him to learn, because he could do so quickly enough that
       | they wouldn't believe that he'd possibly have learned it.
       | 
       | I highly recommend both books, Appendix F, and of course,
       | https://calteches.library.caltech.edu/51/2/CargoCult.htm. (If
       | psychologists had followed up what he said 50 years ago, the
       | Replication Crisis would have been discovered 40 years earlier
       | than it was. Oh well, missed opportunities.)
        
       | asadalt wrote:
       | I have a similar approach to side projects. I have a day job
       | (that is fun btw) and then I spend nights and weekends "playing"
       | with code with no expectations. This has worked well for me and I
       | LOVE this setup!
       | 
       | The alternative would be to raise VC and work full-time on a
       | half-baked idea. :cringe:
        
       | buescher wrote:
       | Incidentally, the faucet problem is neat! You can solve it with
       | high-school level physics and analytical geometry ("pre-
       | calculus").
        
       | goethes_kind wrote:
       | Interesting anecdote. But I don't envy Fenyman. I would rather be
       | like the guys I know you can just sit down and get to work
       | conscientiously without any such intrusive thoughts whatsoever.
       | Those guys have a superpower they don't appreciate.
        
       | zackmorris wrote:
       | Macro-scale example of magnetic locking by a spinning magnet
       | analogous to bound states in subatomic particles:
       | 
       | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5FyFvgxUhE
       | 
       | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bound_state
       | 
       | It reminds me of Feynman's wobble in the article. Which may
       | relate to spin 1/2 particles and/or radioactive decay.
       | 
       | The strong force is empirically measured and I have yet to find a
       | satisfactory explanation of its fundamental mechanism. But
       | nucleons moving near the speed of light are held inside the
       | nucleus by a force of several pounds! So the nuclear force acts
       | like a gravity well but comes from electroweak effects somehow.
       | Loosely that means that there's a centripetal force so strong
       | that if we measure it over years, the odds of seeing a stable
       | nucleus often approach or meet 100%.
       | 
       | I only bring this up because currently there's no way to modulate
       | decay, electron capture, fission or fusion via simple means like
       | temperature or charge. Ideally we should be able to add/remove
       | electromagnetic energy and transmute elements by generating
       | electron/positron pairs from photons (for example). Until we
       | really understand how the strong force works, all the cool sci fi
       | and Iron Man stuff will be confined to research labs.
       | 
       | I've spent my whole life working to make rent instead of working
       | on important problems. What a waste for society to invest
       | education dollars in me so I could subsist on what is largely
       | custodial work. So I think the most important thing we can
       | manifest is getting more leisure time, money and resources into
       | the hands of dreamers.
       | 
       | The second most important thing we can do is pay our success
       | forward. So I don't want to hear about any more billionaires and
       | their pet projects. I want to see visionary goals, labor-saving
       | devices to reduce suffering, automation, UBI, and most
       | importantly people paying it forward by paying their fair share
       | of taxes into democratic societies and having enough faith in the
       | higher power of love to give the people the dignity and means to
       | solve their problems and self-actualize. I mean, that's what the
       | USA used to be until I watched it all fall apart after 9/11 to
       | leave us with whatever all this is.
        
       | max_ wrote:
       | There is a Richard Feynman documentary I saw where he talked
       | about his darkest episode of depression (another depression
       | episode).
       | 
       | It was after them testing one of the Atomic bombs when it had
       | been developed.
       | 
       | He described it as follows, he would for example watch see
       | someone building a bridge or doing maintainance, and he would
       | think to himself, "Why is he doing this? Doesn't he know that he
       | is wasting his time, that all this work he is doing is useless?"
        
       | Vicinity9635 wrote:
       | If you haven't read "Surely you're joking, Mr Feynman" yet you
       | should.
       | 
       | Both hilarious and fascinating.
       | 
       | https://search.brave.com/search?q=%22Surely+you%27re+joking%...
        
       | xdavidliu wrote:
       | "1985" in the title is misleading. The sentence is an excerpt
       | from a biography published in 1985, describing Feynman's
       | experience as a young Assistant Prof at Cornell shortly after
       | WWII.
        
       | juancn wrote:
       | It's the quintessential hard problem solving strategy.
       | 
       | It works on many hard disciplines, and it boils down to two
       | steps:
       | 
       | 1- Obsess
       | 
       | 2- Let Go
       | 
       | Step two is the hardest one, but it's the most fruitful one and
       | you really have to let go, no cheating.
       | 
       | Once you do, for some reason your mind will use everything from
       | step one in the background to find the solution, in a weird
       | moment, in an effortless manner.
       | 
       | But if you don't let go, it will never happen.
        
       | giantg2 wrote:
       | I'd probably get fired for playing around at work. Burnout is
       | just the standard state for most workers in today's world. We
       | just have to live with it.
        
       | 7thaccount wrote:
       | It's aggravating as there is a lot of value I could provide to my
       | organization if they set me loose and gave me full autonomy. I'd
       | also be a lot happier. But that is pretty hard to come by.
        
       | vehementi wrote:
       | Kind of a miss on the title. The quote is: "Now that I _am_
       | burned out and I 'll never accomplish anything, I've got this
       | nice position...". The title is slightly taking the quote out of
       | context and isn't the title of the article
        
       | danielvaughn wrote:
       | Much of the work I'm truly proud of, I did when I was playing.
       | It's an absolute mystery why I can't intentionally put myself
       | into that mindset no matter how hard I try.
        
       | chankstein38 wrote:
       | This is me with writing code. I do it professionally and have for
       | almost 15 years. I'm so burnt out on the day to day, forced work.
       | But show me something interesting or hackable, a game I like that
       | I can mod, a cool script, a cool concept that might make a neat
       | image or sound. Whatever it might be, suddenly I'm playing again
       | and having fun, burnout or not.
       | 
       | Just wish I could find a way to make that my paycheck...
        
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