[HN Gopher] Studies suggest that relying on will power to break ...
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Studies suggest that relying on will power to break habits is
       hopeless (2019)
        
       Author : PaulHoule
       Score  : 109 points
       Date   : 2024-01-06 20:54 UTC (2 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.newyorker.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.newyorker.com)
        
       | proc0 wrote:
       | > Wood ends her book with advice for those of us who have become
       | hostages to our smartphones. She offers a stepwise strategy.
       | First, recognize your dependency, and acknowledge how the habit
       | disrupts work, social interactions, and safe driving. Next,
       | "control the context cues," meaning identify what triggers you to
       | grab the phone
       | 
       | That still requires will power. It could probably be reduced to
       | intention, and not so much the discipline to stick to some habit
       | and avoid others. Even if you need to change your environment,
       | the decision to do so comes from the intention and awareness to
       | want change. I think it's dangerous to dismiss this and think
       | will power is not a factor because it is a self-fulfilling
       | prophecy. If you think you don't have will power you will reduce
       | the chances of having it.
        
         | tpmoney wrote:
         | I think the problem becomes that most people use "willpower",
         | especially when talking about bad habits, in a sense of "just
         | stop doing The Thing". Without deep examination about WHY you
         | do The Thing, that is a very hard thing to do because all the
         | triggers and incentives for you to do The Thing continue to be
         | present and push you back towards doing The Thing. Saying
         | someone lacks Willpower is often a fancy substitution for
         | judging them for a moral failing.
         | 
         | This is largely why the "war on drugs" has failed to make any
         | meaningful headway into stopping drug problems (and how despite
         | more money than ever being poured into the war on drugs, the
         | "opioid epidemic" still happened). This is why the "calories in
         | < calories out" approach to weight loss while a simple and
         | effective measure fails most people, because it doesn't address
         | the root causes of the behavior. Likewise diets don't work
         | because they implicitly are "temporary changes" rather than a
         | permanent change to your entire approach to food. It's also why
         | something like a safe and effective appetite suppressing drug
         | will be so important to weight loss, because when you're not
         | constantly hungry, it's a lot easier to have the "will power"
         | to not eat that whole bag of chips after dinner.
         | 
         | Incentives matter a lot, and immediate incentives matter much
         | more than long term incentives. Finding things that change the
         | immediate incentives and changing those will go a lot further
         | than just "willing" your way into change.
        
           | akira2501 wrote:
           | Will power is not some magic force that we are born with. To
           | me "will power" comes from precisely the process you are
           | describing, the self interrogation into the source of these
           | negative behaviors, examination of how they hold you back,
           | and anticipation of what you might be able to achieve if you
           | master them.
           | 
           | What I've observed in people is the disconnect on the last
           | part of that pathway. They understand their deficiencies but
           | they either believe the costs are too great versus what they
           | might be able to achieve otherwise, or they are not able to
           | truly appreciate the scale of change that is possible in
           | their life by starting on the smallest part of their problem.
           | There's also people who were just raised poorly and reliably
           | self defeat at this point as well.
           | 
           | Anyways.. to me, it's like anything else, it's much easier to
           | do if you practice it, and most people just aren't truly
           | given the opportunities to practice it successfully in their
           | formative years.
        
             | tpmoney wrote:
             | >To me "will power" comes from precisely the process you
             | are describing, the self interrogation into the source of
             | these negative behaviors, examination of how they hold you
             | back, and anticipation of what you might be able to achieve
             | if you master them.
             | 
             | That may be how you describe it, but just hop into any
             | discussion on Wegovy here on HN (or anywhere else) and
             | observe the number of people who "don't get why it's so
             | hard to just eat less". Or again, look at the entire war on
             | drugs.
             | 
             | Willpower defined as a deep interrogation of your
             | incentives and psychological state and making fundamental
             | changes not (just or even mostly) to your behavior but to
             | the environment around you and the incentives you are
             | responding to, possibly and including accepting that your
             | are unable to change your current environment and
             | incentives and are therefore also unlikely to make the
             | change in behavior you are attempting, is definitely not
             | the norm.
        
       | antwerp1 wrote:
       | It's just like decision fatigue: your capacity for it diminishes
       | the more you use it (within a given time range).
       | 
       | Instead, carefully curate your identity . This is described well
       | in Atomic Habits. Train yourself to think "I am just not the kind
       | of person who does x."
        
         | ThrowawayR2 wrote:
         | Whether decision fatigue is a real thing has been called in to
         | question:
         | https://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/cover_stor...
        
           | bitshaker wrote:
           | Doesn't matter. Changing via willpower and context cues is
           | quite difficult.
           | 
           | Identity change is the best, most lasting way.
        
           | refactor_master wrote:
           | What am I going to do with all my identical shirts now!
        
         | rodlette wrote:
         | > This is described well in Atomic Habits. Train yourself to
         | think "I am just not the kind of person who does x."
         | 
         | Is this just basically willpower?
         | 
         | Or perhaps I should read the book to find out.
        
           | bitshaker wrote:
           | No. Changing your identity is much more powerful and sort of
           | operates in a background process whereas willpower is more of
           | a conscious foreground one and very difficult to sustain long
           | term.
           | 
           | Read the book. It goes into some detail.
           | 
           | I've worked with thousands of people personally over the
           | years to help them with supposedly difficult to treat
           | addictions for instance. Willpower is fine to start, but
           | completely fails in the long term. Identity change is the
           | only thing I've found that works long term.
        
             | rodlette wrote:
             | I'll look into it. I think I acquired frugality from
             | reading a few books that made me frugal.
             | 
             | I'd like other traits too.
        
             | dyno12345 wrote:
             | This might be a stupid question, but what is "identity" in
             | this context?
             | 
             | I ask because when this subject has come up I realize I
             | don't seem to be able to think up theories about myself so
             | easily
        
           | devbent wrote:
           | People who consider themselves "gym rats" go to the gym
           | because it is what they do.
           | 
           | People who are mountain bikers don't ride to keep in shape,
           | they look forward to getting on their bike.
        
             | rodlette wrote:
             | Those are easy to see, but there are few people who clean
             | their dishes for fun/leisure.
        
               | sgillen wrote:
               | I clean my dishes because I like having a clean / neat
               | household, "I am the kind of person who keeps my space in
               | order". I find that helps!
        
               | cvwright wrote:
               | No but there are people who pride themselves on always
               | keeping a clean kitchen etc
        
             | PaulDavisThe1st wrote:
             | For years, I was "a person who liked to ride my bike 300+
             | miles in a day". Then one day I realized that was a lie, or
             | at least only a half-truth. Then I realized that most of
             | why I did it was that I liked to keep in shape, and to eat
             | a lot.
        
           | LargeWu wrote:
           | It's more like discipline. You don't do something because you
           | decide to become a person who just doesn't do that thing. It
           | becomes part of your identity, rather than a decision you
           | have to continuously make.
        
         | hn_throwaway_99 wrote:
         | The way I like to think of it is that it's possible to have
         | willpower when I'm feeling strong and only have to make a big
         | decision once - what's really hard is having to use that
         | willpower over and over.
         | 
         | Thus, I've always felt it's better to change _your environment_
         | than trying to improve your willpower. For example, I got a ton
         | of exercise when I lived in a city when the most convenient
         | thing to do was walk everywhere or take public transportation.
         | When I moved out to the suburbs, I tried to force myself to
         | walk more, but it never really worked. Driving was just by far
         | the easier  "default" way of getting places in the 'burbs.
         | 
         | The way I think of it is to try to set things up so you don't
         | have to use willpower in the first place.
        
           | bitshaker wrote:
           | Environment change >>> willpower
        
             | hinkley wrote:
             | Environment change takes willpower, but is a force
             | multiplier.
        
           | hinkley wrote:
           | Buying groceries when you're feeling good, and changing your
           | route through the store to groom yourself for success instead
           | of failure, are common, effective bits of advice for weight
           | loss and healthy eating. Most of the garbage really is in the
           | middle of the store, and I imagine myself diving into deep
           | water to grab ketchup, soup, flour. Get in, get out, no
           | sightseeing.
        
             | analog31 wrote:
             | My shopping list is sequential by aisle, so I don't go down
             | the aisle if it's not on my list.
             | 
             | I wonder if shopping online for delivery helps curb impulse
             | buying
        
         | jancsika wrote:
         | > Instead, carefully curate your identity . This is described
         | well in Atomic Habits. Train yourself to think "I am just not
         | the kind of person who does x."
         | 
         | Interesting but orthogonal to the article.
         | 
         | The article: "I am the kind of person who has changed my
         | environment such that doing x is inconvenient enough that I can
         | avoid it most of the time without having to use much
         | willpower."
        
         | somewhereoutth wrote:
         | Or perhaps (and by extension?) help to curate a _society_ where
         | these sorts of bad things don 't happen.
        
         | refactor_master wrote:
         | > Train yourself to think "I am just not the kind of person who
         | does x."
         | 
         | We are rarely who we really want to be. Yet, here we are. I've
         | been trained, literally since infancy, to obey bedtime, but I'm
         | writing this response an hour past my bedtime.
        
       | ur-whale wrote:
       | https://archive.is/OCuQK
        
       | xeckr wrote:
       | lol
        
       | alphazard wrote:
       | Huberman did a very nice review of the literature here. Highly
       | recommend.
       | 
       | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wcs2PFz5q6g
        
         | quickthrower2 wrote:
         | Love Huberman, although gripping it is not the format for quick
         | revision. Each episode is movie length. Take notes.
        
       | martinbaun wrote:
       | Replacing bad habits with good ones seem to be the easiest thing
       | for me.
       | 
       | Going for that cookie? Go for some pushups instead when you
       | crave. Usually your mind is just bored.
        
         | quickthrower2 wrote:
         | Even replacing the cookie with 100g strawberries and 100g
         | yoghurt goes a long way. And why is that cookie there? Shop on
         | a full stomach. Take a list.
        
           | hinkley wrote:
           | If I didn't keep a bowl of fresh fruit and fancy teas in the
           | house I'd be having some very uncomfortable conversations
           | about diabetes with my doctor right about now.
        
       | quickthrower2 wrote:
       | Once you realise you are more of a sheep than you think you can
       | do things like adapt your environment to encourage giving up the
       | habit. Or replace the havit with a new more powerful one. Or use
       | a star chart!
        
         | I_am_uncreative wrote:
         | Yes! If you eat too much, take up smoking instead. That's one
         | old habit gone, and a new one added!
        
           | peterleiser wrote:
           | Reminds me of a friend who's New Year's resolution over 20
           | years ago was to pick up smoking. He tried a few times but
           | just couldn't manage to start the habit.
        
             | hotpotamus wrote:
             | Ah, I did this too, though it was actually a New Year's Eve
             | resolution to start smoking which I did successfully - had
             | one cigarette with some friends who were planning on
             | quitting as their New Year's resolutions which I then
             | joined with them as a new smoker. I was the only one able
             | to follow through on that.
        
         | hinkley wrote:
         | Type one versus type 2 thinking, and pitting one against the
         | other.
        
       | henriquez wrote:
       | Every time I've quit drinking I used will power. So it's not
       | hopeless. Now I'm 8 days sober! Checkmate, studies.
        
       | CPLX wrote:
       | In my old age I have become exhausted with the "studies show
       | [some element of human personality that's impossible to define
       | and even more impossible to test]" genre.
       | 
       | It's just all bullshit all the way down.
       | 
       | Every time you dig an inch below the surface it's something like
       | "we took six college students half of them millennials and played
       | a sad Taylor Swift song while images of skyscrapers were
       | projected and asked them to report their math skills on a legal
       | pad whenever we rang a bell" or something.
       | 
       | It's just all nonsense. And the sad part is that the main real
       | enduring accomplishment of spreading social "science" bullshit so
       | widely in society is that people now distrust actual science and
       | engineering too.
        
         | johntask wrote:
         | > The students were told to report every time they thought,
         | "Oops, I shouldn't do this"
         | 
         | Close enough!
        
       | vanjajaja1 wrote:
       | This kind of study in this kind of magazine smells like they're
       | pushing more 'dont even try' / 'no free will' propaganda... but I
       | do with the premise. Relying on will power to execute is a set up
       | for failure, better to rely on will power to create an
       | environment that helps you succeed.
        
       | jawns wrote:
       | I am not a smoker, but I recently read through Allan Carr's "Easy
       | Way to Quit Smoking Without Willpower" book. (There is a similar
       | book out there called the Easy Peasy Way to Quit Porn, for those
       | who are struggling with that.)
       | 
       | The tl;dr is that it's much harder to quit an addiction with the
       | mindset, "This thing is great, but I'm going to deprive myself of
       | it." Instead, you need to realize that you've been deceived and
       | maybe even brainwashed into thinking that this vice has any
       | redeeming value. Lots of people who've never become addicted are
       | walking around enjoying life without it. So you kind of have to
       | do your own reverse brainwashing to get your brain back to that
       | state.
       | 
       | I used these techniques to break a bad habit. Every time my mind
       | so much as wanders in that direction, I have a mini speech I give
       | myself. "Boy, I am so glad that I have escaped the slavery of
       | that dopamine cycle, where I wasn't getting joy from the habit
       | itself, but just satisfying the craving of the addiction. I'm in
       | such a better place now."
       | 
       | In the moment, I might not always fully believe the words I'm
       | saying, but it does help.
        
         | mhalle wrote:
         | This American Life had an episode that challenges the premise
         | of this book: https://www.thisamericanlife.org/806/transcript
        
         | joshghent wrote:
         | Completely agree! Ultra processed people by Chris Van Tullekan
         | is similar for eating unhealthily.
        
         | hinkley wrote:
         | Additionally people crowd out a bad habit instead of abstaining
         | from it.
         | 
         | Give yourself less time to be bad. Do something instead to
         | sublimate some of that energy.
        
         | wruza wrote:
         | If your automatic firewall is too hard, there are ways to
         | bypass it and eventually punch a hole. E.g. instead of "I'm
         | much better without it" (obviously wrong, you're suffering) you
         | can carry the thought "I _like to think_ that I'll become
         | happier without it". There's no obvious contradiction, so it
         | can incorporate and create a tunnel where there was a thick
         | wall. Learned that from my therapist.
        
         | clwg wrote:
         | I was a smoker for over 20 years, then I switched to Juul - I
         | was content. Nicotine is by far my favorite drug. I could smell
         | again, and my stamina and breathing were noticeably improved.
         | 
         | When they started to ban the stronger vapes, my options were to
         | go back to cigarettes, suffer withdrawal from a less potent
         | nicotine concentration, buy one of those contraptions and start
         | a hobby, or quit entirely.
         | 
         | I quit entirely, and it sucked. Luckily, there was a pandemic
         | going on, so I could contain the 'blast radius', but it was
         | very much a self-hate process to get through it - hating myself
         | for smoking in the first place as a teenager, hating that I was
         | controlled by something like that, and hating that I didn't
         | have agency over my own cravings, and just hating because
         | Nicotine withdrawal sucks.
         | 
         | I don't think I could have done it with a positive attitude and
         | inner strength. I still miss nicotine, and if they brought back
         | the stronger Juul's, I'd probably start again.
        
         | PaulDavisThe1st wrote:
         | > Instead, you need to realize that you've been deceived and
         | maybe even brainwashed into thinking that this vice has any
         | redeeming value.
         | 
         | This has been 50% of my approach to trying to (almost entirely)
         | give up drinking. I realized that (a) I rarely, if ever, get
         | the happy buzz any more (b) it doesn't get me the sex that it
         | once did (c) it doesn't actually assist with being emotionally
         | open with my wife the way it once did (d) it contributes to
         | weight gain (e) it probably has other negative health effects
         | (f) it costs quite a bit of money.
         | 
         | All that's left of the positives is that I really, really enjoy
         | the actual taste of the wines I love.
         | 
         | The other 50% was being told I had high blood pressure, and
         | realizing the alcohol can play a role in that too.
        
       | Boogie_Man wrote:
       | Quitting things for me personally requires tricking my base
       | lizard brain. I recall an Onion News video with a parody PSA:
       | "Smoking is Gay". You have to use the smart guy you to outsmart
       | the dumb guy you. Set traps for him. Anticipate his moves and
       | crush him.
        
         | jnsie wrote:
         | You can't bring us this far without some examples! Fess up, OP!
        
           | Boogie_Man wrote:
           | Cigs: Not telling him he couldn't smoke, but that he could
           | only smoke outside bare-chested one winter Eating: Mirror at
           | gut hight in the kitchen Drinking: Reading that Infinite Jest
           | section [pick one] twice a week Weed: Picked a fist fight
           | with the guy I bought it from (he won) (this section is just
           | a joke I do not commit crimes) The only thing a human man
           | can't give up is onanism (I don't believe those who say they
           | do).
        
         | SilasX wrote:
         | Haha I remember seeing that and thinking ... hm, that ... would
         | probably be more successful than most of their PSAs.
         | 
         | https://www.theonion.com/new-anti-smoking-ads-warn-teens-its...
        
       | zogrodea wrote:
       | My first thought after reading the title was about ego depletion
       | (a controversial theory that willpower is a limited resource),
       | but the claim here seems unrelated to that since it instead
       | states that willpower is just not effective at eliminating bad
       | habits, not touching whether willpower is a limited resource or
       | not.
       | 
       | Common advice for at least a millenium has been that a consistent
       | good habit, even if small, is better than a large gesture that's
       | not long maintained. Andreas Kling (author of SerenityOS) can
       | relate to this. https://awesomekling.github.io/Excellence-is-a-
       | habit-but-so-...
        
       | elchief wrote:
       | use your lack of will power to your advantage
       | 
       | fill your fridge with healthy food, and force yourself to leave
       | the house if you want junk food
        
         | arcastroe wrote:
         | That doesn't work at all. Ordering junk food is a few lazy taps
         | on your phone whereas eating the healthy food requires forcing
         | yourself to cook and prepare it as well as washing dishes
         | afterwards
        
           | maximus-decimus wrote:
           | That's why you need Soylent^TM bottles, so that drinking them
           | is even less effort!
           | 
           | The way I see it, that's kinda the whole advantage of
           | something like soylent.
        
             | arcastroe wrote:
             | +1, also look into Huel. I personally like it better than
             | Soylent.
        
         | PaulDavisThe1st wrote:
         | Move to a small village with no services and 25 miles from the
         | nearest town, so you'll have to drive for an hour round trip if
         | you want junk food (or any food, actually).
        
       | wcarron wrote:
       | What a foul load of crap. I'm a former decade-long nicotine
       | addict, coke user, and heavy drinker. Power of will enabled me to
       | crush all those habits. You are not some helpless, pitiable waif
       | blown about by the winds of your subconscious. Stand up straight
       | and martial yourself. Lechery is a small voice within you which
       | you allow yourself to be consumed by, not an omnipotent force
       | governing your existence.
        
         | wruza wrote:
         | That is a commonly observable post-willpower attitude.
         | Unfortunately it doesn't help those for whom it didn't work.
         | It's like saying get up and live to a depressed one.
         | 
         | Saying that as a guy who punched evolving clinical depression
         | in her face without medications with character-intrinsic anger.
         | The problem with that approach is that not everyone has anger
         | as a reaction so default that it still remains in a depressed
         | state.
         | 
         | That said, glad you're fine.
        
       | keyle wrote:
       | One of my friends who's a marathon runner told me once something
       | rather powerful.                  We have all these ways of
       | losing weight: you can poop it, sweat it, band it off, run it
       | off, lift it off, swim it off, dance it off, on and on. And yet
       | there is only one way to put it on (pointed to his mouth) with
       | these things (showed his hands)
       | 
       | Made me think for a while and he made an impact on me. We control
       | our hands. We control what goes in our mouth.
       | 
       | I don't mean to be insensitive to people who have real weight
       | issues, I'm talking for the majority of people. We over eat by
       | choice and blame everything else.
        
         | NoZebra120vClip wrote:
         | According to the eminently reliable folks at SciShow, the chief
         | way that anyone loses weight is by breathing it out.
         | 
         | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8ialLlcdcw
        
       | tacocataco wrote:
       | I quit smoking by delaying my first smoke in the day as long as I
       | could. There was no "end date". Just me lasting as long as I
       | could.
       | 
       | Someday, it's a smoke right in the morning day. Shit happens and
       | I wouldn't feel bad for smoking when I needed it.
       | 
       | But after a couple of months, I started getting later and later
       | in the day.
       | 
       | Rolling my own and buying the worst tobacco in the world helped
       | to. Have as much as you like! But it's shit.
       | 
       | Of course if I buy delicious smokes i was not going to quit! But
       | a all you can smoke buffet of the worst smokes? Yeah I'll pass.
       | 
       | They were so bad people didn't want to bum smokes from me. 50
       | cents a pack back in the day, help yourselves!
        
       | BaculumMeumEst wrote:
       | Good thing I didn't read such a bullshit defeatist conclusion
       | before I dropped 40 lbs 7 years ago (adopted sane diet, never
       | gained it back) and dug myself out of a deep hole of alcohol
       | dependence.
       | 
       | haven't beaten the habit of falling for engagement baiting
       | headlines though i suppose
       | 
       | do not let yourself believe you are weak or a victim
        
         | endisneigh wrote:
         | what a bizarre comment. the conclusion is hardly defeatist.
         | 
         | the TLDR of the article is that if you (for example) are
         | struggling with focus, a strategy that is basically telling
         | yourself to focus (while loud music is playing around you) will
         | not yield as much success as removing distractions (turning off
         | the music) in your environment, then trying to focus again.
         | 
         | the efficacy of the two strategies is dependent not entirely on
         | ones fortitude, rather ability to craft an environment that
         | plays to the strength of will, so to speak.
        
           | kaashif wrote:
           | The conclusion may not be defeatist, but the conclusion is
           | different from the subtitle of the article (and the title of
           | the submission):
           | 
           | > Studies suggest that relying on will power is hopeless
           | 
           | Which would indeed be extremely defeatist.
           | 
           | Willpower and better strategies can both work in conjunction.
           | Willpower is not entirely hopeless as a strategy.
        
             | endisneigh wrote:
             | why omit the last part?
             | 
             | > Studies suggest that relying on will power is hopeless.
             | _Instead, we must find strategies that don't require us to
             | be strong._
             | 
             | nothing defeatist about it.
             | 
             | not to mention, why judge such a long article which is
             | summarizing a long book by the subtitle which generally
             | isn't even written by the author of the article...
        
               | airstrike wrote:
               | Because that bit is not in the title
        
         | Lucky-026 wrote:
         | I didn't read this particular article but I've heard of other
         | studies that express the same idea. The point isn't that you
         | can't beat bad habits, its that the best way to beat bad habits
         | is making them harder to do.
         | 
         | If you want to quit smoking you get rid of your cigarettes.
         | 
         | if you want to lose weight you throw away your junk food.
         | 
         | Keeping junk food in your house when you're trying to lose
         | weight relies on self control and willpower to avoid eating in
         | a caloric surplus. Same logic applies to not going grocery
         | shopping when you haven't eaten all say since you're likely to
         | indulge and buy some stuff you don't need for example
        
         | Dylan16807 wrote:
         | Did you "rely on will power" to do that? They're definitely not
         | saying people are unable to change habits!
        
         | aeblyve wrote:
         | Something I've been exploring for the past year or so are means
         | to increase biological energy, and brain energy in particular.
         | If one finds themselves unable to escape their routine, brain
         | energy could be a bottleneck.
         | 
         | It seems likely to me that some point along the lines of "sane
         | diet" increased your brain energy, which gave you the presence
         | of mind to do all those other things.
         | 
         | Really, I think that the premise of the article ought to
         | inspire hope, by suggesting that simple materialistic
         | interventions alone could be sufficient to produce change.
        
       | k8svet wrote:
       | I really like this thread. Thanks to those for sharing their own
       | processes and tricks. It's fascinating the ways people trick
       | themselves into will power. Cool stuff, potentially life
       | changing.
       | 
       | I wrote and deleted mine a few times. Will power is weird and
       | I've found weird ways of enabling some in myself. And then some I
       | can't explain. I've been destroying my fingers for literally 30
       | years and about a month ago I decided I wanted healthy fingers.
       | If you know, you know, that sounds absurd. And yet, my fingers
       | look better than they have in literally 22 years. I don't get it,
       | I actually have imposter syndrome. I've never, ever made it even
       | 1/5th this far. It's something I'm embarrassed of and also
       | secretly proud of myself.
        
       | andrewstuart wrote:
       | Someone explained to me that the subconscious mind does not like
       | giving up something that it likes in exchange for nothing.
       | 
       | Say for example you want to give up smoking.
       | 
       | So don't give up. Instead, just stop that behavior for the
       | present time - then your subconscious is not fighting you.
       | 
       | So you want a cigarette? Well sure OK you can have one, but defer
       | that decision to have it for some period of time. Maybe start
       | with 30 seconds. Build up the defer period. See if you can defer
       | that cigarette for 1 minute, 2 etc etc. After the defer period
       | has elapsed, if you still REALLY want the cigarette then have it
       | - don't fight your subconscious mind.
       | 
       | Eventually, you'll have deferred that cigarette essentially
       | indefinitely. You never "gave up smoking", so your subconscious
       | hasn't been forced to get you back in line by reestablishing the
       | cigarette smoking behavior that it likes.
       | 
       | Even with this strategy, it still took me hundreds of attempts to
       | give up cigarettes. Those things are addictive.
        
       | a_n wrote:
       | lol this is stupid, you can do anything if you want it bad
       | enough, all it takes to achieve anything is will power to just
       | work hard and be passionate about what you want to do... it's
       | literally just a simple decision, do you want to get it or not...
       | and if you think this is not true, or dont have the will power,
       | carry on living a mediocre life... nobody cares about losers
        
         | pi-e-sigma wrote:
         | Exactly. One day I decided to beat Magnus Carlsen at chess and
         | I just did it. It's all about hard work, you don't need good
         | genetics or supporting family, or a bit of luck with being at
         | the right place at the right time. Just iron will, which BTW is
         | also 100% a genetic trait but that simply doesn't matter!
        
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