[HN Gopher] Procrastination is connected to perfectionism
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Procrastination is connected to perfectionism
        
       Author : EndXA
       Score  : 497 points
       Date   : 2024-01-01 12:42 UTC (10 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (solvingprocrastination.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (solvingprocrastination.com)
        
       | belter wrote:
       | I would comment on this issue, but I am still thinking about what
       | the best comment would be....
        
         | ramon156 wrote:
         | Same, I'll get back to it though
        
         | justhereforthe wrote:
         | Also, I'm concerned that readers would judge my whole existence
         | and the entire library of my life choices if any part of my
         | (theoretical) comment fails to be... well, perfect.
        
         | gtirloni wrote:
         | You probably want to read the New Oxford Style Manual first.
         | Maybe check a course about writing on Coursera before writing
         | the first draft.
        
         | hoc wrote:
         | bookmarked the thread.
        
       | neverrroot wrote:
       | Good intentions leading to issues? That's new... /s
        
         | nottorp wrote:
         | I thought most good intentions are bought up by road
         | construction companies to maintain the highway to hell...
        
           | neverrroot wrote:
           | The older I grow, the more I see many good intentions at the
           | micro scale hurting the big picture.
        
       | sylware wrote:
       | As a public open source (yep, open source can be private)
       | programmer (currently x86_64 assembly), and I am very aware of
       | this pitfall.
       | 
       | It is very important to move forward in code, because you cannot
       | predict how will actually end up a complex program: you need to
       | have all the (sane) features in to actually know. Since code is
       | all about trade-offs, there is "no perfect".
       | 
       | You have to be carefull at avoiding falling into a mental
       | spinning loop about this.
       | 
       | Once you have a reasonable minimum of usable features in, publish
       | it. It help breaking such mental loop.
       | 
       | For instance, currently writing a printf implementation, and
       | printf specs are already brain damaged by themselves, so I am not
       | looking for perfection, far from it. I did set myself a minimal
       | set of features (full format decoding, hexadecimal and byte
       | strings) before publishing it. Until it does not require the
       | complexity of a compiler, does a good enough job, I'll be happy.
       | 
       | Sometimes it is not about perfectionism, but a question of
       | resourses required to achieve something reasonably working: you
       | have a montain to deal with just to get something minimaly
       | working, and you are given a spoon... when you are lucky.
        
         | CoastalCoder wrote:
         | Pardon the tangent, but could you provide a link to that
         | project?
         | 
         | I'm curious to see why something like printf is worth writing
         | in assembly.
        
           | sylware wrote:
           | As I said in my post, I did not release it yet, and it will
           | be very incomplete. But I am not alone, and some did assembly
           | written printf like functions (gogol).
           | 
           | The actual real way to work around the inappropriate
           | complexity of that function is to remove it and switch to a
           | brutal "put string" with string conversion functions (with
           | space allocated on the stack). In the end it would be not
           | that much more work in most cases, then in the end I may not
           | even use my assembly code, but lower some printf function
           | usage to what I said.
        
             | CoastalCoder wrote:
             | Ah, thanks. I wrongly guessed from your post that this
             | printf was part of some larger, already published OSS
             | project.
        
               | sylware wrote:
               | Well, I ended up writing it because I was forking busybox
               | for my custom file format for executables.
               | 
               | It is not going as fast as I wanted, since I wanted it be
               | finished "yesterday", but I may focus next on, shell
               | matcher and basic/extended regexp.
        
         | rrr_oh_man wrote:
         | You piqued my interest: What's private open source?
        
           | diggan wrote:
           | I'm guessing it's referring to the "corporate open source"
           | ecosystem where Google and similar companies make code public
           | but everything else is closed. There is no collaboration, no
           | public roadmaps, no influence given to the community and
           | such. Not sure it's a vital distinction, for me both are as
           | public/private as the other, but that's the only meaning I
           | could try to extract from that...
        
             | sylware wrote:
             | Also, open source, legally, does concern the relationship
             | between the user of the code and its author, and it is not
             | required to be public at all.
             | 
             | Open source works more than fine with defence stuff,
             | actually would be a requirement...
        
         | GuB-42 wrote:
         | Isn't assembly programming already a form of perfectionism in
         | itself. Compilers do the job well enough 99.9% of the times. If
         | you are in the 0.1% where writing assembly is justified, you
         | are probably also expected to put many, many times more effort
         | on details most programmers don't care or even don't know
         | about.
        
           | norir wrote:
           | Yes, I think it's even less than 0.1%. Assembly should mostly
           | be written as a target for a compiler backend or to inline a
           | hotspot only when it is proven that the compiler can't do it
           | for you. Very few are in either of these two situations
           | outside of artificial environments like a class.
        
           | sylware wrote:
           | Just to be independent from those grotesquely and absurdely
           | massive and complex compilers(gcc|clang/llvm), justify the
           | additional amount of work for myself.
           | 
           | Not to mention that from the perspective of the life cycle of
           | tons of system software components out there, the actual
           | coding is not that much.
        
         | robocat wrote:
         | > you have a montain to deal with just to get something
         | minimaly working, and you are given a spoon
         | 
         | The spoon isn't the issue - why does that mountain need moving?
         | The parable is about persistence and determination - necessity
         | is ignored!
        
       | st-keller wrote:
       | If i can't have perfectionism without procrastination, i prefer
       | to take both!
        
       | LoveMortuus wrote:
       | "The fall is worth the climb" -Mike Tyson.
       | 
       | I think this is kind of like, if you don't fail, you can't
       | succeed.
       | 
       | To be happy, fail. -Me, 2024.
        
         | frereubu wrote:
         | In my more lugubrious moments I prefer Samuel Beckett's "Fail
         | again, fail better".
        
         | differentView wrote:
         | That's just the push I needed to challenge Mike Tyson to a
         | fight.
        
           | DrBazza wrote:
           | "Everybody has a plan until they're punched in the mouth."
        
         | hartator wrote:
         | Except if the fall kills you. Survivorship bias.
        
         | layer8 wrote:
         | It's very possible, however, to just fail without ever
         | succeeding, and that's what the perfectionist worries about.
         | The above sounds like an instance of
         | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Affirming_the_consequent.
        
       | brainzap wrote:
       | No advice article ever has the courage to say it: you need
       | friends. Social support and accountability are our main pillars,
       | we are social animals.
        
         | diggan wrote:
         | > Social support and accountability
         | 
         | Reminds me of "Announcing your plans makes you less motivated
         | to accomplish them (2009)" - https://sivers.org/zipit -
         | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7496923 (74 points | March
         | 30, 2014 | 21 comments)
        
           | Lyngbakr wrote:
           | That's interesting! Although I haven't invested any thought
           | in it, I would've assumed that announcing plans would have
           | the _opposite_ effect because people are now watching and
           | know what you 're trying to achieve, so you'd be more
           | motivated to avoid losing face. Thanks for the article --
           | I'll have to check it out!
        
             | eloisius wrote:
             | Personally, it would make me feel a burden of shame to have
             | announced a goal and then had a setback, which would become
             | a greater discouragement then just facing a setback if I
             | had not made a big deal about it in the first place.
        
               | breakingcups wrote:
               | That, and you've skipped ahead and gotten a bit of the
               | social reward for the project without doing it yet. So
               | the reward will be less too.
        
           | odyssey7 wrote:
           | I've heard about the paradox of announcing plans before. It
           | is intriguing.
           | 
           | In light of the need for community, talking about plans might
           | be seen as a way to search for ideas that could have group
           | buy-in and become something to undertake together. Failure to
           | move forward on those plans would reflect that the group
           | interest just wasn't there. The mistake would have been in
           | assuming you would have ever pursued the goal independently,
           | the social impulse to share could have been the hint.
           | 
           | Shared interests between friends can help individual
           | interests and goals become collective ones.
           | 
           | Ecclesiastes: one may be overcome (by the exhaustion of going
           | to the gym), two can defend themselves (against lapsing on
           | their New Year's resolution). A three-ply cord is not easily
           | broken.
        
         | sjfjsjdjwvwvc wrote:
         | Friends help with everything in life. I can't think of an
         | aspect of my life that is not improved by my friends.
         | 
         | Making friends is ,,easy" too - treating people how you would
         | want to be treated is a good first step.
        
           | gizajob wrote:
           | I feel like I've long reached the point of having zero
           | friends, which makes getting friends actually quite
           | difficult.
        
             | diggan wrote:
             | It doesn't though, as long as you're willing to throw
             | yourself out there. Meetup groups is a great way to meet
             | fellow nerds, especially if you share interests. You'll
             | probably meet some shitty people sometime, just stay clear
             | and keep trying, you'll eventually find at least one or two
             | people who you fit with :)
        
               | gizajob wrote:
               | Acquaintances perhaps, but I wouldn't say actual friends.
               | I could try it again though. I don't/can't use social
               | media so when I got rid of that years ago, almost
               | everyone I knew then went with it.
        
               | diggan wrote:
               | Friends are just acquaintances you know better than
               | others. You start as acquaintances and as you develop the
               | relationship, you'll eventually be friends.
               | 
               | Some people have so good relationships they even use the
               | label "bestie", which is just a really good friend, who
               | at the beginning surely was a acquaintance :)
        
               | gizajob wrote:
               | Thanks for your input. Being honest, my situation has
               | been like this for so long now I've given up hope and
               | lost interest in it ever changing. Used to my own
               | loneliness nowadays so it doesn't really matter. Fine
               | with being someone who is only ever in the background of
               | other people's day.
        
               | rickdicker wrote:
               | I'll be your friend. What's up?
        
             | sjfjsjdjwvwvc wrote:
             | Sorry to hear that. I'm not in a position to help you but
             | there are many selfhelp support networks in your
             | neighbourhood that can help(most likely, assuming you live
             | in a city).
             | 
             | Showing up is already a giant step forwards.
        
               | gizajob wrote:
               | I'm really just not someone people enjoy the company of
               | or want to get to know or have around. Kind of my
               | conclusion after 40 years of living in cities. Have tried
               | all kinds of groups and programmes. Have tried putting in
               | the interest but everyone I know or meet fades out,
               | either quickly or slowly. Don't have any family either,
               | or a significant other.
        
         | imjonse wrote:
         | Or even, "this isn't procrastinating, todo lists won't help,
         | you are probably depressed".
        
         | makeitdouble wrote:
         | If you define "friend" as "anyone willing to cooperate with
         | you" that makes sense.
        
       | 147 wrote:
       | I've struggled with perfectionism procrastination. For example,
       | I've tried in the past to start a weekly newsletter for my blog
       | but was never consistent with it.
       | 
       | In the middle of November, I started a daily (M-F) newsletter on
       | topics related to DevOps. I've been consistent with it ever
       | since.
       | 
       | The strategies the article outlines that have helped me the most
       | are breaking things down into small pieces and starting small.
       | 
       | Also, by making my newsletter daily, it took a lot of pressure
       | off me. I didn't feel like I had to have a "hit" every article
       | like with weekly or monthly cadences. If the article sucked, then
       | tomorrow is a new day with a new article.
        
       | devnonymous wrote:
       | I have a pet peeve about the term perfectionism - it assumes the
       | target of the idealized 'perfect' state is something other than
       | the absolutely guaranteed limited resource in the world - time.
       | 
       | Every self-proclaimed perfectionist should start caring about
       | time as much as they do about the object they are obsessing over.
       | They'll then see the tradeoff in being less of a ^perfectionist^
       | in that thing and being more ^perfectionist^ about time.
        
       | ayhanfuat wrote:
       | If you are into the psychological aspects of procrastination,
       | I've found the book Procrastination by Burka and Yuen [1] an
       | amazing read. Perfectionism is one of the themes but apparently
       | there can be multiple, independent sources.
       | 
       | [1] https://www.amazon.com/Procrastination-Why-You-What-
       | About/dp...
        
       | rq1 wrote:
       | My take on with procrastination is just start things anyway and
       | then eventually
        
       | sjfjsjdjwvwvc wrote:
       | ,, We need to think about failure differently. I'm not the first
       | to say that failure, when approached properly, can be an
       | opportunity for growth. But the way most people interpret this
       | assertion is that mistakes are a necessary evil. Mistakes aren't
       | a necessary evil. They aren't evil at all. They are an inevitable
       | consequence of doing something new (and, as such, should be seen
       | as valuable; without them, we'd have no originality). And yet,
       | even as I say that embracing failure is an important part of
       | learning, I also acknowledge that acknowledging this truth is not
       | enough. That's because failure is painful, and our feelings about
       | this pain tend to screw up our understanding of its worth. To
       | disentangle the good and the bad parts of failure, we have to
       | recognize both the reality of the pain and the benefit of the
       | resulting growth."
       | 
       | - Ed Catmull (from the book Creativity Inc.)
       | 
       | edit: by way of the marginalian, which is excellent, one of the
       | best sites out there- go read it:
       | https://www.themarginalian.org/2014/05/02/creativity-inc-ed-...
        
         | jimmydddd wrote:
         | When in high school, I returned home after a ski weekend with
         | friends. When I returned home, my relatives, who didn't ski,
         | asked if I fell at all during the weekend. I remarked that I
         | had, especially while navigating some expert trails. They
         | consoled me saying "that's OK, maybe you'll do better next
         | time." I was confused at first until I realized that they
         | thought of falling as a tragic outcome instead of a natural
         | part of the learning process.
        
           | sjfjsjdjwvwvc wrote:
           | Probably mostly a function of them having no idea what skiing
           | is like. If you never fall you either only use boring routes
           | or ski very slowly - or you are professional skier and have
           | such a breakneck speed you can't fall (but even then it
           | happens looking at Schumacher)
        
             | pbhjpbhj wrote:
             | Arguably, not falling means you're limiting your progress
             | by not pushing yourself enough. Most likely, not falling
             | means you're a worse skier.
        
       | smugglerFlynn wrote:
       | Lots of tongue in cheek comments for such a very serious issue.
       | 
       | Please know that perfectionism is often fear-based and trauma-
       | based. Learning to recognise the underlying fear and trauma, and
       | working through them, _will help_ with both perfectionism and
       | procrastination. In my experience, there are very few quick wins,
       | only long methodical work to get through the underlying issues.
       | 
       | The best way to do that is with the help of a mental health
       | professional (should be first # in that article).
        
       | janmarsal wrote:
       | A true perfectionist such as myself must go through every social
       | media feed before doing more demanding work. Those unclicked
       | links, notifications and red dots must be cleanced.
        
         | njsubedi wrote:
         | Oh I feel you. I'm here reading your comment because I had
         | something else to do.
        
       | jokoon wrote:
       | there's nothing wrong with procrastination
       | 
       | doctors say people work too much, and there's an epidemic of
       | burnout
       | 
       | homo sapiens are not made to work and feel guilty when they don't
       | complete tasks
       | 
       | it's a problem of work culture and productivism, nothing else
        
         | getlawgdon wrote:
         | So we are not in fact what we have made ourselves? What are we
         | then? What are we supposed to be?
        
           | slumberlust wrote:
           | If you can figure out, you'd have bested all of modern
           | philosophy. godspeed!
        
           | electrondood wrote:
           | We are abstractions, with no substantial reality apart from
           | everything else. And thus, not worth getting hung up on most
           | of the time.
        
           | jokoon wrote:
           | you cannot turn mammals into efficient obedient workers and
           | expect them to have a sane mental health.
           | 
           | we're mammals with inflated brains, anxiety and depression,
           | and it's too soon since we were hunter gatherers living in
           | caves, we barely started working in cubicles and that's a
           | small sample of the population.
        
       | njsubedi wrote:
       | Two tiny hacks changed my lifelong procrastination and people-
       | pleasing nature.
       | 
       | 1. Instead of "what will they think?" always ask yourself the
       | alternative question, "what do I want?". This saves you a lot of
       | time and trouble. Do what you like to see what people will say.
       | Make it a fun game.
       | 
       | 2. If something takes less than 2 minutes, just go do it. Make it
       | your "kick". After few weeks, work your way to turn 2 minutes to
       | 5 then 10 minutes. You will get so much done because of the
       | inertia.
        
       | kitsune_ wrote:
       | Yeah, or maybe it's "just" ADHD. "Just" in parentheses because
       | it's a horrible condition to have.
       | 
       | Russel Barkley with a succinct video on "ADHD as Motivation
       | Deficit Disorder": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bR3RJU6838c
        
         | dmvdoug wrote:
         | Nailed it. With a small caveat. It's more a matter of executive
         | functioning [1], less one of (strictly speaking) motivation
         | (although that _is_ how it often feels, so I understand why
         | that's used as a kind of shorthand). I can very easily feel and
         | _be_ motivated to accomplish some task, but still fail to make
         | any progress (or even begin) until it's deadline time. Then
         | comes feelings of guilt and self-loathing because I just can't
         | seem to get my shit together (despite _knowing_ that that's a
         | wildly wrong way of framing it).
         | 
         | It _is_ horrible. But it's manageable on most days (and yes,
         | I'm medicated and have been since early adulthood). And
         | honestly, having people in your life who understand your
         | condition and can help pick you up sometimes [2], is a huge
         | part of coping.
         | 
         | [1] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Executive_functions
         | 
         | [2] I do _not_ mean do stuff for you. For me, when I'm in that
         | place where I'm so frustrated that the only options are either
         | to primally scream or to sit in the corner and cry, a simple
         | fucking hug is like a miracle drug.
        
           | Aurornis wrote:
           | > less one of (strictly speaking) motivation
           | 
           | FYI, the Russel Barkley video from the grandparent comment is
           | a controversial figure. He presents a lot of his own pet ADHD
           | theories as if they were facts.
           | 
           | He's one of the OG internet ADHD influencers, back when ADHD
           | was still commonly stigmatized. Someone I know joked that if
           | you watched enough Russel Barkley videos, anyone could
           | convince themselves they had ADHD.
        
         | layer8 wrote:
         | Nope, I don't have any of the typical ADHD symptoms
         | (inattention, hyperactivity, impulsivity -- rather the
         | opposite), but still procrastinate to problematic levels due to
         | perfectionism.
        
           | ycombinete wrote:
           | Yes. There are various reasons to procrastinate. ADHD
           | procrastination is more about emotional discomfort avoidance
           | than perfectionism.
        
             | layer8 wrote:
             | _Procrastination_ due to perfectionism (instead of working
             | on the thing you want to do perfectly) is also due to
             | emotional discomfort avoidance (because the procrastination
             | takes your mind off the imperfections associated with what
             | you ought to be working on).
        
           | growingkittens wrote:
           | The opposite of those symptoms - like hyperfocus, inability
           | to switch tasks, decision-making inertia, etc.?
        
         | LoganDark wrote:
         | ADHD has totally ruined so many aspects of my life. It's a
         | straight-up disability for me. It stops mattering how "gifted"
         | I am when the ability to use that gift is constantly revoked
         | whenever I find something new to use it on. It's like my brain
         | is constantly trying to patch an exploit, like it never wants
         | me to actually use any of my potential.
         | 
         | Meds helped for only a few months. Then my brain patched that
         | exploit too. :/
        
         | renegade-otter wrote:
         | Procrastination is not a new thing. And ADHD is a pretty rare
         | condition - just look at the diagnosis rate from country to
         | country. The US has the highest one because doctors here are
         | basically legal Speed drug dealers - for children.
         | 
         | The author of the Search Engine pod just had a two-parter about
         | his "ADHD":
         | 
         | https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/whyd-i-take-speed-for-...
         | 
         | (The history of regulating Speed in the US is actually
         | fascinating).
         | 
         | I could focus just fine all my life, then suddenly I couldn't.
         | I've talked to other adults who are experiencing the same.
         | 
         | And it's funny how people get super torqued when you say
         | something like this. There is a lot of room between "I have
         | legit ADHD" and "I am addicted to my phone".
         | 
         | Sometimes I could not start a project at work for weeks - then
         | I got off Twitter.
        
           | neon_electro wrote:
           | Just remember adults here are also dealing with being
           | diagnosed for the first time, and all of the stigma around
           | how this affects kids affects adults, too.
        
           | giraffe_lady wrote:
           | The speed for children scare mongering is pathetic and
           | ignorant and betrays your lack of experience with children
           | with this and related condition.
           | 
           | Lots of kids have behavioral and impulse control problems. If
           | you give them amphetamines you see exactly the same problems,
           | but with the boundless energy amphetamines give you. When you
           | give amphetamines to ADHD children they visibly and
           | noticeably become calmer, quieter, and more focused. If you
           | did not come into it with the predetermined idea that this
           | drug is "speed" you would certainly not arrive there from
           | watching the behavior of medicated children with ADHD.
           | 
           | You were addicted to twitter good for you for solving your
           | problems. Don't extrapolate that experience out to kids
           | though. ADHD is fucked up, life ruining stuff. Look at the
           | rates for drug abuse, car crashes and incarceration for
           | adults with untreated ADHD. This sort of scare mongering
           | makes it less likely for children to access effective
           | treatment when it can be most impactful on their lives. It is
           | harmful and you should be ashamed.
        
             | sersi wrote:
             | Thanks for your comment. I was diagnosed with ADHD as an
             | adult late (after 4 x 2 hours sessions with extensive
             | questionnaires and iq test). Originally I was really
             | worried that I'd be incorrectly diagnosed with ADHD despite
             | not having it so was reassured by how serious the process
             | was.
             | 
             | One thing that jumped out at me though with regards to your
             | comment about medicine. I started taking concerta and
             | quickly noticed that if I'm the slightest bit sleep
             | deprived, concerta doesn't amp me, it doesn't make me have
             | more energy but instead it makes me sleepy. With it, I'm
             | visibly calmer and quieter and I also have a lot less
             | craving for chocolates (which I'd keep eating non-stop
             | during the day). It's quite magical actually.
        
           | mlrtime wrote:
           | Or perhaps it's a multiple of things, and not just getting
           | off twitter.
        
           | dboreham wrote:
           | My personal family experience had been that today in the US
           | it's very hard to get an ADHD diagnosis, at least if the
           | patient is smart and manages to achieve decent school grades.
        
         | Aurornis wrote:
         | Counterpoint: ADHD diagnoses are a hot topic among kids and
         | junior devs right now. Many of them self-diagnose based on
         | Reddit, Twitter, or TikTok information that tells them that
         | ADHD explains away all of their perceived shortcomings: It's
         | the reason they're not motivated, it's the reason they didn't
         | attend an Ivy League school, it's the reason they don't earn as
         | much as their peers, it's the reason their last significant
         | other broke up with them, and so on (these are all real
         | examples from conversations I've had with mentees since ADHD
         | started trending on social media during COVID)
         | 
         | One of the most concerning patterns I've seen is that these
         | people go out and find a doctor who will prescribe them
         | stimulants (during COVID it was as easy as following ads on
         | TikTok, filling out a form, and having a <5 minute virtual
         | visit with a doctor, believe it or not) and then many of them
         | _get worse_.
         | 
         | By this I mean the stimulant medication supercharges their
         | actual underlying problem: The anxious procrastinators become
         | even more anxious. The perfectionist procrastinators become
         | even more obsessed with perfecting things. The video game
         | procrastinators now game for harder and longer with stimulants
         | in their system. The hobby/side project procrastinators are now
         | putting in more hours on their side project and have even less
         | time for the work or studies they're supposed to be doing.
         | 
         | I'm not saying that ADHD isn't real, because it's definitely
         | real and debilitating. I'm saying that we have a real problem
         | with the current trend of "ADHD explains everything". Social
         | media has supercharged this trend by bombarding people with
         | videos that position ADHD as a perfect excuse and explanation
         | for their frustrations. They are frighteningly good at finding
         | a video or TikTok or Reddit post that tells them exactly what
         | they want to hear, and they're also good at skipping past any
         | content that doesn't confirm their beliefs.
         | 
         | I have extended family who are in grade school education, and
         | the trend goes all the way into 5th and 6th grade from what
         | they tell me: Kids using "I have ADHD" as an excuse for
         | _everything_ and then trying to show their teacher a TikTok
         | that explains why they shouldn 't be held accountable for late
         | homework, low grades, or behavioral problems. They're not
         | alone, it's a common topic in /r/teachers on Reddit too (
         | https://www.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/12cfdj3/i_have_ad...
         | )
        
           | kpw94 wrote:
           | > It's the reason they ...
           | 
           | A recent nytimes opinion on the subject:
           | https://twitter.com/emmma_camp_/status/1726390207740608823
           | 
           | >> It's generally a sign of progress when diagnoses that were
           | once whispered in shameful secrecy enter our everyday
           | vocabulary and shed their stigma. But especially online,
           | where therapy "influencers" flood social media feeds with
           | content about trauma, panic attacks and personality
           | disorders, greater awareness of mental health problems risks
           | encouraging self-diagnosis and the pathologizing of
           | commonplace emotions what Dr. Foulkes calls "problems of
           | living." When teenagers gravitate toward such content on
           | their social media feeds, algorithms serve them more of it,
           | intensifying the feedback loop.
        
           | robocat wrote:
           | Part of a general trend? Another two keywords related to the
           | same issue: trauma and self-medication.
           | 
           | I think the same ADHD diagnosis problem is happening in New
           | Zealand too.
        
       | wingspar wrote:
       | I've found some help with perfectionism and procrastination by
       | using procrastination to overcome perfectionism.
       | 
       | Get a project to a "good enough" point, then tell myself "I'll
       | fix it next year", when I really just want to rip it out and
       | start over.
       | 
       | Of course 'next year' never comes as later I come to see that the
       | project is totally fine and doesn't need a re-do.
        
       | nixass wrote:
       | I'ma perfectionist!
        
         | layer8 wrote:
         | Not regarding spelling, apparently. ;)
        
       | spintin wrote:
       | The reason we fear shipping is that we know there is an absolute
       | truth out there that nobody made any effort to find. ONLY if you
       | ship that eternal fundamental solution have you made anything
       | interesting.
       | 
       | Everything is shit, think before you act! It's better to do
       | nothing, than to deliver more shit.
        
         | diggan wrote:
         | > It's better to do nothing, than to deliver more shit.
         | 
         | How are you supposed to get better at delivering anything if
         | you won't deliver until you have something "perfect"?
         | 
         | Part of the process of getting better is to be shit for a
         | while, while you figuring things out.
         | 
         | Common saying when making music is that probably your first 100
         | songs will be absolutely trash, so better get those out of the
         | door ASAP, so you can get to the good stuff :) Practice is the
         | only way to get better, and your output will probably suck for
         | a while, but we all sucked at one point so it's OK.
        
       | francisofascii wrote:
       | Is this why some people take a long time to submit a PR? During
       | morning standups, they say the work is nearly done, but the PR
       | never comes.
        
         | layer8 wrote:
         | "Nearly done" is sometimes a hidden euphemism for "I feel bad
         | about not having finished this yet, and I fear that others may
         | accordingly look upon me unkindly, so I try to verbally
         | minimize the unfinishedness, and I may yet get lucky and be
         | able to finish it reasonably quickly, so it's not an outright
         | lie".
        
       | hoc wrote:
       | I just saw a simple differentiation between daydreaming
       | (creative/analytic) and detailed planning and execution
       | (productive).
       | 
       | Seen that way you'd need to take care to not fall back into that
       | creative-only daydream mode when you actually need/want to be
       | productive. So you would need to steadily remind you to actually
       | continue with concrete execution planning instead of mentally
       | optimizing models (which of course itself is - and feels -
       | productive and maybe even more important/urgent, but not in the
       | ouput-oriented way you'd like/need to achieve in that actual
       | production task).
       | 
       | Not sure if it actually helps, but besides that perfectionism and
       | "just do it" issue/solution pair it might be a useful perspective
       | and concrete criterion to keep one focused on the task of
       | finishing. I'll try to include it in the repertoire at least.
        
       | submeta wrote:
       | Fear of losing control (and the thought of everything blowing up)
       | => Perfectionism => ,,Let me be 1000% prepared before I start
       | doing it" => Prepares endlessly => external pressure rises above
       | threshold => fear of consequences creates panick => starts doing
       | the job => creates a reference experience (,,this was traumatic;
       | next time I need to be prepared to avoid this kind of stress") =>
       | until next ,,important" task lands on desk.
       | 
       | I tend to think that mostly people with a lot of capacity for
       | creating mental images (who can freak themselves out) are prone
       | to procrastination.
       | 
       | Edit: Apparently it is more complex than that. I believe that
       | self-worth also plays a role (fear of not delivering as good as
       | one would like to), also ADHS (jumping to a thousand other things
       | and losing focus). Generally fear plays a role. Meditation helps.
       | Anything that helps to relax (running, breathing exercises).
        
       | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
       | I had an instructor for a seminar that I took, keep repeating the
       | phrase "We need to know what 'done' looks like."
       | 
       | Another manager I worked with, said "The #1 feature of this
       | product is 'Ship'."
       | 
       | In the app we're about to release, we don't have any schedule
       | pressure. We can release when we want.
       | 
       | I found that the rest of the team was in "Perma-Tweak" mode. Lots
       | of "Just one more thing."
       | 
       | I realized that it was never going to ship, so I set an arbitrary
       | date of ... _today_.
       | 
       | In true software development tradition, we'll be late, but not by
       | much. Also, we have a great excuse. The CEO had a baby (ahead of
       | schedule, but the deadline was quite firm).
        
       | drtgh wrote:
       | In recent years the increase in launching products and updates
       | without in-depth checks and with unfinished features is becoming
       | routine... as if achieving the introduction of low quality
       | products in the market were the goal, under the "productivity"
       | shield.
       | 
       | "Productivity", the abstract word that looks as if it were
       | invented by the "flat-earthers" to sell books. Just a drug for to
       | make the clients to pay for being alpha-testers, without remorse.
       | 
       | Not easy to talk about perfectionism. In the last decade the
       | threshold changed much, unfortunately. The main problem with this
       | is in the retro-feeding, low quality here, there, affect the time
       | needed for to advance in better products because there are more
       | issues to solve, that of course will be "un-productive" to solve,
       | in loop. Enjoy.
        
       | revskill wrote:
       | I'm both a procastinator and a perfectionist.
       | 
       | I'm happy about that fact, so that i can avoid "useless actions"
       | until i fully understand what to do first.
       | 
       | Another word, solving problem before implementation !
        
         | sfn42 wrote:
         | I'm similar and I get what you mean, but I'm not sure it's a
         | positive. Some times I waste a lot of time trying to find the
         | perfect solution, can't find it, give up and just do the best I
         | know how to do. Almost always, while doing that, I discover
         | better ways to do things and often this is na iterative process
         | where I pretty much start over multiple times until I'm happy
         | with the result.
         | 
         | I don't think the procrastination is useful. I think it's
         | better to just get started and do anything. That way you learn
         | and make progress.
        
       | hartator wrote:
       | > One reason why people procrastinate is perfectionism.
       | 
       | Is it though? Or is it something nice to tell ourselves?
       | 
       | I don't know if there is correlation here. I have seen poeple
       | procrastinating with no sense of details and the reverse is true
       | too.
        
         | ImPostingOnHN wrote:
         | Seems like it. I don't think the correlation described is
         | false.
         | 
         | What you're saying about people procrastinating for other
         | reasons, is the difference between the phrase " _one_ reason
         | why people procrastinate is perfectionism " and the phrase "
         | _the only_ reason why people procrastinate is perfectionism ".
         | 
         | As in, people can procrastinate for any of multiple reasons,
         | and perfectionism is one of those reasons.
        
         | layer8 wrote:
         | "One reason" doesn't mean it's necessarily a prevailing reason,
         | and there are certainly other reasons.
        
       | avindroth wrote:
       | In my experience, perfectionism is crafted post-procrastination.
       | It probably makes no sense, but the mind often does this
       | convoluted thing in order to protect procrastination.
        
       | austin-cheney wrote:
       | The article hints at psychology and then fails to dive into it.
       | 
       | Perfectionism, only when intentionally and cognitively executed
       | in an orderly fashion, is linked to extremely high consciousness
       | and extremely high consciousness when not properly managed is
       | highly correlated with anxiety. The slang for this is _anal-
       | retentive_.
       | 
       | This becomes complicated because anxiety is most typically
       | concerned with high measures of neuroticism but a person can
       | score extremely low in neuroticism and yet still suffer symptoms
       | of anxiety from too high of consciousness when their concerns for
       | orderliness prevents timely accomplishment of a task. That
       | specific set of personalities defines obsessive-compulsive
       | disorder in contrast to anxiety in general.
       | 
       | The solution to this is to learn to accept and contribute a wrong
       | outcome, as opposed to taking no action at all, which requires a
       | tremendous amount of careful practice. The ability to accept that
       | solution is even culturally reinforced as identified in one of
       | the Hofstede cultural indexes: uncertainty avoidance.
        
         | machomaster wrote:
         | The solution is to understand that no amount of guilt/regret is
         | going to change the past and that no amount of internal anxiety
         | is going to help the future.
        
         | ShamelessC wrote:
         | > This becomes complicated because anxiety is most typically
         | concerned with high measures of neuroticism but a person can
         | score extremely low in neuroticism and yet still suffer
         | symptoms of anxiety from too high of consciousness when their
         | concerns for orderliness prevents timely accomplishment of a
         | task. That specific set of personalities defines obsessive-
         | compulsive disorder in contrast to anxiety in general.
         | 
         | Just to clarify, you're still referring specifically to
         | "perfectionist" personality types? Because last time I checked
         | anxiety is _not_ correlated specifically with any personality
         | traits but rather spans a broad spectrum of personality types.
        
         | exolymph wrote:
         | *conscientiousness, distinct from consciousness :)
        
       | ghoomketu wrote:
       | The easiest antidote for procrastination is boredom.
       | 
       | This may not work for everyone but for me it works exceptionally.
       | Most often the reason why you don't want to work on something is
       | because you find it too hard, too boring, or too irrelevant. But
       | if you force yourself to be bored for a while, you will
       | eventually crave some mental stimulation.
       | 
       | And that's when you can pick up the task you have been avoiding
       | and work on it with renewed interest and focus.
       | 
       | Of course, this requires some discipline and self-awareness. You
       | have to resist the temptation of checking your phone, browsing
       | the web, or doing anything else that distracts you from your
       | boredom.
       | 
       | Maybe there is some psychological reason for it but I have found
       | this technique to be very effective for overcoming
       | procrastination and getting things done.
        
         | almostnormal wrote:
         | An alternative to boredom is something else more important even
         | less desirable that needs to be done, that drives progress on
         | what is being procastrinated. Unfortunately, it only shifts the
         | problem elsewhere.
        
           | OldHunter69X wrote:
           | As in, pursue something else that seems even more important,
           | yet less desirable than what we were already considering? Or
           | am I mixing something up?
        
           | machomaster wrote:
           | This does not solve the issue of procrastination at all. A
           | common myth is that procrastinators are simply lazy people
           | who don't do anything useful. This is not the case. Many
           | procrastinators are super-efficient at working on what they
           | need to do; it's just that they are procrastinating on
           | another useful task/project that objectively should have a
           | priority.
        
           | IggleSniggle wrote:
           | I call this procasti-working and it is absolutely my most
           | productive space. I don't really see it as a problem though;
           | I might be completing lower-priority tasks, but they would
           | have later become high- or critical-priority tasks; it's
           | ultimately a net win.
        
           | GuB-42 wrote:
           | I have seen it called "structured procrastination".
           | 
           | The idea is that instead of trying to focus on what's
           | important, leaving out everything else, make a long task
           | list, including things that are not that important, but still
           | productive. So that you have plenty of things to do to avoid
           | doing the top items.
           | 
           | To avoid shifting the problem, it suggests self-deception, so
           | that you put items on top that appear important, but are not
           | really. So that you do the really important ones in order to
           | avoid doing the falsely important ones.
           | 
           | I don't know how effective it is though.
        
         | ethbr1 wrote:
         | I'd be curious how quickly neurochemical stimulation levels
         | reset to baseline, on order-of-hours scale.
         | 
         | Given that afaik tasks seeming "hard" can be a consequence of
         | bathing in hyper-stimulation from media/games, thereby raising
         | the "much be this stimulating" minimum about what normal tasks
         | provide, does 30 minutes or an hour of boredom reset some of
         | that?
        
         | Aurornis wrote:
         | > The easiest antidote for procrastination is boredom.
         | 
         | From my experience with young people, the worst procrastinators
         | will often choose boredom over the task they're avoiding. Doing
         | nothing at all is less painful to them than doing the work
         | they're avoiding.
         | 
         | This is even more true for the perfectionist procrastinators:
         | They are avoiding some exaggerated hypothetical pain that might
         | come from failing at a task. If they never finish the task,
         | they can't experience that disappointment. Some of them will
         | happily do nothing at all, walk around, or daydream to avoid
         | even engaging with their computer, because engaging with the
         | computer would remind them that they're procrastinating, which
         | would remind them that failure to deliver is also imperfection.
         | 
         | > Of course, this requires some discipline and self-awareness.
         | 
         | Unfortunately, the people with the worst procrastination
         | problems are in their situation largely due to a lack of
         | discipline and self-awareness in some variation.
        
           | pjerem wrote:
           | It depends, do you define endless scrolling as boredom ?
           | Because I think it's not.
        
             | skeaker wrote:
             | That's not what the post above you is talking about.
             | "Endless scrolling" was never even mentioned
        
           | nradov wrote:
           | My daughter would literally sit and stare at the wall instead
           | of doing her English class homework.
        
             | kaba0 wrote:
             | I guess the alternative has to be mentally stimulating for
             | it to work. Maybe she finds it too easy or meaningless?
        
           | Modified3019 wrote:
           | Agree with this, from personal experience. The conventional
           | idea of "boredom" doesn't fit well, because we have
           | everything we need and love already in our head, which makes
           | leaving it painful and staring at a wall for hours a great
           | time. Incidentally my "bad boss" was my father, who had two
           | emotions; Preoccupied and angry.
           | 
           | This is further complicated by things like demand avoidance,
           | ADHD, burnout (autistic people may have difficulty even
           | recognizing that they are chronically stressed and anxious to
           | the point of shutdown, until they just crash completely) or
           | other executive function related pathologies, of which there
           | are likely multiple involved if there is a noticeable
           | problem.
        
         | dboreham wrote:
         | There are well known psychology experimental results to support
         | your hunch. When the alternative is total lack of mental
         | stimulation, people will perform all kinds of otherwise
         | unattractive activities.
        
         | pbhjpbhj wrote:
         | For me, I procrastinate to get the reward of making progress
         | without having to do the hard thing that I'm supposed to be
         | doing. It is an emotional thing, almost entirely; I feel low
         | (perhaps for unrelated reasons - I was bereaved of my mother 18
         | months ago) and so seek quick rewards through "work", just not
         | the work I'm being paid for.
         | 
         | So, I got diverted from a difficult task and spent time doing a
         | task that created a very useful and time-saving tool but which
         | I want being paid for and which I know I can't share because I
         | was doing something other than my job ... it was rewarding in
         | the sense of 'I created something useful' and so made me feel
         | better about myself until I reflected that I was further behind
         | on the task I was getting assessed for.
         | 
         | I found Tim Pychyl's writing/videos and
         | http://www.procrastination.ca/ useful on this topic.
        
       | bjornsing wrote:
       | I've long held the belief that procrastination is the rational
       | response in a low return on investment (ROI) situation. This
       | seems to fit nicely into that framework: if significant
       | investment is required, you only value perfect output and are
       | doubtful it can be achieved, then the expected ROI is pretty low.
        
         | IAmGraydon wrote:
         | I think this is right, but it's really a low predicted ROI. The
         | problem is that we're pretty bad at accurately predicting.
        
       | gherkinnn wrote:
       | > For example, perfectionistic students might be so critical of
       | themselves for making mistakes in school assignments, that they
       | will postpone doing homework to avoid dealing with the associated
       | negative emotions.
       | 
       | From the very beginning, I skimmed the rest. Surely, this can be
       | reduced to
       | 
       | > Avoid dealing with the associated negative emotions.
       | 
       | Start there, and work through those emotions.
        
       | hyperthesis wrote:
       | https://structuredprocrastination.com/
        
       | Aurornis wrote:
       | I developed a bad case of perfectionism-procrastination after
       | working for a toxic boss.
       | 
       | It didn't matter how polished our product was, he'd find a way to
       | tear it apart. When he'd have a bad day, he'd start picking apart
       | a random team's product. "Unbelievable!" he'd say in Slack,
       | dropping a screen recording of the app that showed something we
       | were supposed to be embarrassed about. It could be that the app
       | took 3 seconds to load and show fresh data from his hotel WiFi,
       | or it could be as simple as the UI not matching some directive he
       | gave to the UI designers who failed to update the designs or tell
       | us about the change. He would rant about how disappointing we
       | were. At his worst, he fired some people on the spot for a
       | problem that wasn't even their fault.
       | 
       | I quickly learned that the only way to avoid that pain was to not
       | ship anything. The people he liked most were the ones who were
       | operating in hypotheticals: The people who made UI designs in
       | Figma, or the architects who drew nice diagrams about how things
       | would work, or the people who wrote long design documents to hand
       | to other teams. They never shipped anything for him to critique,
       | so he thought they were the geniuses of the company. As long as
       | they could avoid having to actually implement anything, they
       | continued to be favorites.
       | 
       | It took me longer than I like to admit to shake that habit when I
       | finally escaped. I found myself delaying shipment, pivoting from
       | design doc to design doc, and trying to operate in that
       | hypothetical space as long as I could. Fortunately I learned to
       | get over it, but it was scary how much that single job could
       | shape a large part of my personality.
        
         | neon_electro wrote:
         | I'm sorry you had to go through this, and I'm glad you learned
         | from it.
        
         | the_cat_kittles wrote:
         | youve very succinctly explained an incredibly frustrating
         | reality. it really helps to understand it clearly like that
        
         | coolThingsFirst wrote:
         | Lol, imagining some bored unhappy middle aged neckbeard go with
         | "unbeliavable...."
        
           | lacrimacida wrote:
           | Why bring age into something that has to do with a shitty
           | personality? That could be at any age.
        
         | Chungjiloll wrote:
         | Aurornis really hit the nail on the head about how a toxic boss
         | can twist your work habits into a loop of perfectionism and
         | procrastination. It's wild how avoiding criticism can lead to
         | playing it safe in the land of hypotheticals, instead of
         | actually getting stuff done. And hats off to the_cat_kittles
         | and neon_electro for recognizing the struggle and the learning
         | curve that comes with such experiences.
        
         | baz00 wrote:
         | I love places like this because I can thrive quite happily on
         | doing fuck all and getting paid for it.
         | 
         | Edit: I made some logical comment about doing something useful
         | with half that time but deleted it because it would be
         | hypocritical.
        
         | jahewson wrote:
         | Sounds awful. And I can guess _exactly_ how that boss responded
         | to any feedback or criticism directed in his direction!
        
         | primitivesuave wrote:
         | This so accurately describes my own experience a couple years
         | ago, down to the specific anecdotes, that I had to double check
         | the username to make sure it wasn't something I drunkenly wrote
         | last night.
        
         | 29athrowaway wrote:
         | 1. Use a issue tracker to report issues. If a ticket doesn't
         | exist, create it.
         | 
         | 2. Stick to the facts: what happened, and what should have
         | happened instead? Remove all the noise such as blame, emotional
         | reactions, etc. Less drama, more clarity.
         | 
         | 3. If the root cause is something dumb such as the hotel WiFi,
         | close the ticket as "can't reproduce" and add an explanation.
         | 
         | You can avoid reading the text, then use a LLM prompt such as:
         | "Can you rephrase this removing all emotional reactions and
         | extracting only the parts that relate to reproduction steps".
         | 
         | Do not waste energy on toxic people. You are not a therapist,
         | an emotional support animal, a sandbag or a doormat. You are a
         | software engineer.
         | 
         | Unless you are getting rich you should avoid working there.
        
           | wholinator2 wrote:
           | Hmm, that is an interesting idea. I bet someone could write
           | an app that rephrased incoming messages through an LLM to
           | match some metric you chose. You'd definitely need the
           | ability to read the original message and there's about a
           | million and a half ways out could go wrong but it's
           | interesting nonetheless. Just evaporate toxicity from all
           | communications before they even reach your brain.
        
             | zestyping wrote:
             | It seems like a good idea at first... but it also would
             | mean everyone could communicate as toxically as they wanted
             | with no consequences. Uh oh.
        
         | metabagel wrote:
         | Be proud of yourself for surviving that toxic environment and
         | eventually recognizing and overcoming the negative effects it
         | had on your own performance and behavior. You're a survivor!
        
         | CooCooCaCha wrote:
         | You put into words something I've had a hard time understanding
         | for a long time. Some people really do have a clear preference
         | for people who don't ship.
         | 
         | Out of curiosity, what kind of background did your toxic boss
         | have? Is it technical or business side?
         | 
         | I have a couple hunches for why this happens: 1. These people
         | are dreamers and dislike people who bring them back down to
         | reality, even if they need those people to actually build
         | things.
         | 
         | 2. They feel superior to people on the ground doing the
         | building. Like they're above getting their hands dirty.
        
           | Teever wrote:
           | These are possibilities but I think you missed a much more
           | likely one -- they're just bullies who like to pick on
           | people.
        
             | ethbr1 wrote:
             | If they were just bullies, then there shouldn't be a
             | preference for hypothetical UI and architecture folks.
        
               | jayd16 wrote:
               | Is this true? Are bullies indiscriminate and swing in all
               | directions or do they focus on where the power dynamic
               | benefits them? I feel like I've seen both.
        
               | ethbr1 wrote:
               | I'd call that the difference between bullies and
               | sociopaths.
               | 
               | At least to me, one of the defining bully characteristics
               | is an inability to moderate their own behavior, even for
               | their own benefit.
        
               | tweetle_beetle wrote:
               | Even bullies can be lazy in their metier - it's quicker
               | and easier to find a tangible target for abuse in a
               | finished product, and, perhaps more importantly, it
               | doesn't risk an ego brusing when a critique of an
               | abstract proves to be incorrect.
               | 
               | I've certainly seen my fair share of these types - too
               | busy (ie. lazy) to really get stuck into detail during a
               | project even when invited to do so, but very quick to
               | point out an issue after a few minutes of expressly
               | looking for one when it's too late.
               | 
               | They seem to see it as demonstrating their experience and
               | superiority over others ie. "I only need a few minutes to
               | find an issue". In my experiences, they also tend to
               | insist on saying "everything needs to go through me", but
               | never make time to follow through - out of laziness. This
               | gives a high ROI on effort expended to stress created.
               | 
               | The best times I had with these people (when I was beyond
               | caring) was laying low and doing launches semi covertly,
               | so that there was time for clients to provide positive
               | feedback and praise first. Then play dumb and deliver
               | news about launch and feedback as a package.
        
             | CooCooCaCha wrote:
             | That falls under the "feeling superior" bucket. And like
             | others have said it doesn't explain bias towards certain
             | people.
        
         | nine_zeros wrote:
         | You have described a major problem with tech "leadership". They
         | are incompetent and don't want to hear it.
        
           | ethbr1 wrote:
           | Almost everyone, given the power to avoid it, would rather
           | not hear they're incompetent.
           | 
           | Hence why telling truth to power, in a productive way that
           | gets things done, is an important skill.
        
         | EarthLaunch wrote:
         | Thanks for mentioning this in a work context. It describes one
         | of my parents, with the results you'd expect.
         | 
         | Do you remember any of the thoughts or techniques you used to
         | shake it?
        
       | xyzelement wrote:
       | Perfectionism is too positive a word for this ("my greatest
       | weakness? I am a perfectionist.) Fear of failure feels more apt.
       | I hesitate starting/taking the next action because I am not
       | confident I can land the goal all the way. IE - I fear trying to
       | do X and not nailing it more than I fear not even trying it in
       | the first place.
       | 
       | Like many fears it is usually inappropriate and unhelpful. In
       | reality you are almost always further ahead in life if you try
       | even if you don't get to the outcome you envisioned.
        
       | kthejoker2 wrote:
       | I probably have a whole personal blog of my own on the topic,
       | dear as it is to my soul.
       | 
       | My two main pieces of advice: The bar is very very low, and share
       | your burden quickly.
       | 
       | 99 times out of 100 you are _way overestimating_ the value of
       | what you 're delivering and people's expectations for it, and
       | _underestimating_ the value of time i.e. shipping quickly.
       | 
       | I've turned in so many things I'm not happy with and gotten a
       | "this is great" that now I frequently just send over pseudocode,
       | whiteboard sketches, and bullet point design docs to just get
       | going on the feedback loop. Nobody has ever said "this is so bad
       | we can't use any of it."
       | 
       | I also realized I do much better finishing other people's work
       | than starting my own .. and so does almost everyone else.
       | Bringing other people in overcomes "the boredom paradox" of a
       | looming deadline - working with other people has its own
       | challenges, but it is definitely not boring!
       | 
       | One specific thing I did that helped a few years ago at my
       | precious company was I told my team, wrote in my email signature,
       | ran a small study group, etc. On grit, procrastination, and
       | "growth mindset" and just made a very intentional effort to tell
       | people how I struggled with this problem.
       | 
       | So many people shared the problem! It really gave us a nice
       | community and helped us (and management) recognize some of these
       | issues, lesrn some new techniques, and get better at coaching,
       | setting expectations, and ultimately managing the work.
       | 
       | So maybe last piece of advice is be open if you have these
       | issues.
        
         | gloryjulio wrote:
         | > 99 times out of 100 you are way overestimating the value of
         | what you're delivering and people's expectations for it, and
         | underestimating the value of time i.e. shipping quickly.
         | 
         | Agree with this. Shipping is the most important quality. The
         | faster you ship the faster you would be enjoying anything
        
           | groestl wrote:
           | > Shipping is the most important quality.
           | 
           | So.. Can you trick yourself into directing the perfectionism
           | into shipping fastest?
        
             | garrickvanburen wrote:
             | The best I've been able to do is: if perfection == high
             | quality, then shipping smaller iterations faster is the
             | most cost-effective means of improving quality.
        
               | groestl wrote:
               | I did that too :) I learned that sometimes, I'd ship the
               | perfect wrong thing. And to avoid that I'd ship earlier
               | versions faster and get back to it after feedback.
        
             | Vinnl wrote:
             | That's roughly what I did. I often do side projects with
             | two goals: there's something I want to exist, and something
             | I want to learn. And I'll learn that thing by using it to
             | build something I want.
             | 
             | At one point, the thing I wanted to learn was "call
             | something done". So I did that, and because it was a side
             | project with learning as an explicit goal, I was able to
             | actually do that - it was literally impossible to ship
             | something imperfect, as shipping would already mean I'd
             | perfectly reached my goal.
             | 
             | But that turned out to be enough faking it to make it - the
             | feeling of shipping it felt good, and gave me the
             | confidence to spend a small amount of time to polish my
             | side projects up enough for shipping, rather than a large
             | amount of time to do everything I want. And it's way more
             | fun now to be able to occasionally pull up an old side
             | project of mine that's still usable, because I got it to a
             | usable state in the first place.
             | 
             | (In case anyone's interested, you can see the project, and
             | how small its scope was, at
             | https://agripongit.vincenttunru.com.)
        
             | gloryjulio wrote:
             | Basically I want TDD(make it run!). I want something runs
             | and everyone can see it. Ship faster, get it run faster,
             | get feedback faster, improve faster, iterate faster.
             | 
             | Perfectionism comes from iterations
        
         | waihtis wrote:
         | This resonates so much.
        
         | ahmedalsudani wrote:
         | This is one of my favourite things I've read on here, and it
         | frames working on a team the way it should be framed!
         | 
         | Going to adopt every part of it. Thank you for sharing.
        
       | adhrit wrote:
       | 100 percent. I even procrastinated for 2 minutes to write down
       | this comment
        
       | electrondood wrote:
       | The most effective antidote to procrastination for me is to get
       | up at 5am.
       | 
       | I have literally nothing to do for 4 hours, and I'm awake, and I
       | have loads of energy, and no one else is up, so I may as well
       | just do that thing I've been putting off.
       | 
       | Also, literally just starting the task, regardless of how I feel.
       | That works too.
        
         | alexey-salmin wrote:
         | Can't you just read the Twitter feed?
        
       | motohagiography wrote:
       | Life is harsh, sure, but "perfectionism," is a terrible and over-
       | freighted word for someone stuck in a double bind and suffering
       | as the result of it. Consider the situations from which someone
       | might acquire a pathological fear of some kinds criticism. A huge
       | likelihood is that as the result of submitting to uncertainty
       | they have been:
       | 
       | - personally abused and shamed
       | 
       | - made the object of sadism or cruelty
       | 
       | - humiliated to their peers
       | 
       | - had important things taken from them
       | 
       | - been isolated
       | 
       | - lost an important relationship
       | 
       | If you know someone suffering from a bind like that, find a way
       | to tell them that "this is not that," and you can have a big
       | impact on their life.
        
         | pessimizer wrote:
         | I don't understand the purpose of taking a good word
         | "perfectionism" for a pathological fear of criticism and
         | rejection, and replacing it with a random incomplete list of
         | things that might have caused a pathological fear of criticism
         | and rejection.
        
           | motohagiography wrote:
           | If you consider what the perfectionism is the effect of, it's
           | easier to unwind than just saying, "oh, you're in a hole, you
           | should stop being in a hole."
           | 
           | Describing anything as an 'ism' is a thought terminating
           | judgment of it, and not a meaningful abstraction for it that
           | yields information about what it might be caused by.
           | 
           | This article might help your understanding as it talks about
           | what concrete thinking is and how to recognize it:
           | https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/theory-and-
           | psychopat...
        
       | pessimizer wrote:
       | This page seems like a nearly empty site someone put up imitating
       | Hillary Rettig's work, looking for life coaching gigs.
       | 
       | https://hillaryrettigproductivity.com/overcome-perfectionism...
       | 
       | https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13417133-the-7-secrets-o...
        
         | mklepaczewski wrote:
         | The site is full of good information, but I agree it feels too
         | search-engine optimized. It's not well structured for a large
         | portion of the target audience (ADD/ADHD people). Articles are
         | too wordy, there are no article or section summaries, and the
         | number of internal links does not help people focus on the
         | article they read.
        
       | mynameisnoone wrote:
       | It's also easy to conflate perfectionism with excellence to
       | rationalize shit work. Excellence is ships good shit but doesn't
       | waste time on unreasonable shit or analysis paralysis.
       | Experimentation, learning, and multiple iterations allow
       | improvements to eventually reach a satisficing threshold good
       | enough to ship.
        
       | aatd86 wrote:
       | It's a correlation, not a causation, in my experience.
       | 
       | It's likely that the brain chooses the path of least resistance
       | toward dopamine.
       | 
       | Sometimes, just choosing to not be lazy clears it because then
       | not being lazy and doing the darn thing provides enough of a
       | dopamine hit in itself.
       | 
       | It can be changed consciously.
       | 
       | There is also the fear of the unk own but one has to then know
       | that no matter what, they will figure it out. That can be a self-
       | confidence issue. Related to the first point still.
        
       | tamimio wrote:
       | Fantastic article, I'm perfectionist to the bones, and as the
       | article states, it does cause procrastination for the "personal"
       | tasks I have (one time it took me 3months to perfect a resume,
       | and the same reason why my personal site is not yet complete),
       | however, for work related, I do not procrastinate but I ended up
       | overworking extra hours from my personal time to perfect the
       | little details about whatever I'm doing, mostly details no one
       | notices except me!
       | 
       | > Forgive yourself for past procrastination
       | 
       | And this is an important point too, for the personal tasks and
       | especially when some time passes due to procrastination without
       | doing the task, it gets even harder to get back into the tasks
       | simply thinking "if I didn't procrastinate I would have done by
       | now.." and it demoralizes me more and never start that said
       | task..
        
       | pilgrim0 wrote:
       | People suffer from "perfectionism" as much as everyone else
       | suffer from reductionism.
        
       | chmod600 wrote:
       | One of the best ways for me to avoid procrastinating on task X is
       | to have some other task Y, and to procrastinate on Y by working
       | on X.
       | 
       | Obviously this requires some mental gymnastics to eventually
       | complete both X and Y, or to come up with some task Y that feels
       | important but actually is not. But it works great.
        
       | bertr4nd wrote:
       | I've never really thought of my procrastination as coming from
       | perfectionism as applied to the work I'm producing, but on
       | reflection, I realized it often comes from self-disappointment
       | (which is perhaps a form of perfectionism). Eg, I procrastinated
       | on writing my research papers in grad school, but it was because
       | I was disappointed in my ideas (or lack thereof), not because I
       | feared not being able to make the current work sufficiently
       | perfect.
        
       | UberFly wrote:
       | There is truth that at times procrastination is tied to
       | perfectionism, but I'd wager that the cause of procrastination
       | 9/10 times is that we choose to do something that is more
       | enjoyable to us over something that is less.
        
         | mklepaczewski wrote:
         | That's an oversimplification. What you describe fits the
         | behavior of a hedonistic procrastinator, but people
         | procrastinate for many, many reasons.
        
         | nsagent wrote:
         | I don't know if I'm in the minority or the majority, but I can
         | say my experience definitely doesn't match the view you're
         | invoking.
         | 
         | When I procrastinate due to my perfectionism, I pretty much
         | never do something enjoyable instead. Rather, I frequently
         | lament that I don't have enough time for fun activities.
         | 
         | When I'm procrastinating in a WFH setup I could easily play
         | video games, watch a show/movie, read a book instead, but
         | don't. It's almost as like a punishment, rather than a reward.
        
       | waynesonfire wrote:
       | I think I struggle with this as well. I was recently watching an
       | episode of Adam Savage on YouTube and he said something that
       | reasonated with me related to this. He said, it's not about
       | getting it right it's about trying new things.
        
       | waynesonfire wrote:
       | I think I struggle with this as well. I was recently watching an
       | episode of Adam Savage and he said something that reasonated with
       | me related to this. He said, it's not about getting it right it's
       | about trying new things.
        
       | yetanother12345 wrote:
       | Uhm... I didn't read. And, I'll comment anyway. Sorry if I miss a
       | point or two. I did read the whole thread, though (116 comments
       | as per now).
       | 
       | Reason was not "Too long" as I never even clicked the link. It
       | was due to the link title "solvingprocrastination", as that name
       | framed procrastination as a thing that needed to be "solved"
       | somehow.
       | 
       | I'm sure that for some, sometimes that is the case. For me, not
       | much so.
       | 
       | See, _procrastination is a tool_. It allows my subconscious to
       | review and analyse a problem field while I keep my conscious self
       | engaged with something else. Preferably solving some other issue.
       | Rarely entertainment. I guess the situations where I 'd want to
       | peruse entertainment are not that often situations where I have
       | important stuff to do, but I don't know. (I'm thinking mostly
       | @job here, not leisure time)
       | 
       | What I do when faced with a problem that needs a solution, but
       | for some reason or other I have no obvious "attack vector" (just
       | to make a poor pun on the HN site name) it this: I do nothing.
       | That is, I do something of course, especially if it's at $job: I
       | do something else. Go solve some other task. While I do that the
       | part of me that excels in solving really complicated stuff does
       | what it does best.
       | 
       | This will not bring me the perfect solution. Most of the time it
       | will not even bring me closer to the solution. All the while I'm
       | doing something else entirely, so I don't even expect progress on
       | the issue I put on the mental parking lot for a while.
       | 
       | But, somehow, when I start the task that I postponed, this
       | happens: I really start it. I focus, I get going. Implement
       | things, analyze and break down, and become productive. From
       | square one. Thanks to, I believe, doing nothing for a while.
        
       | devhe4d wrote:
       | For me usually procrastination happens in two scenarios:
       | 
       | - the task is too simple which makes it boring to do - the task
       | is too complex and needs an effort which I don't want to face so
       | I defer doing it.
       | 
       | Best scenario happens when a task is both exciting and is in the
       | scope ( or slightly upper ) of my expertise
        
       | danvoell wrote:
       | I feel like the term perfectionism should be changed. Most people
       | use it as a crutch. Friend - "I don't do things bad because I'm a
       | perfectionist. " when in fact he didn't do _things_ because he
       | was a "perfectionist". Just call them non-risk takers.
        
       | abathur wrote:
       | Maybe it's paradoxical, but I think some combination of working
       | on OSS broadly and using Nix in particular have helped me fight
       | an inclination towards perfectionistic procrastination.
       | 
       | I still prefer to build a working prototype in private rather
       | than flail in public, but the relative ease of integrating
       | publicly-available sources means I get immediate leverage from
       | ~publishing everything I depend on.
       | 
       | I've had less success extending that to writing, though.
        
       | polishdude20 wrote:
       | I get analysis paralysis which just prevents me from doing
       | anything because I can't decide on the optimal thing to do.
        
       | elwell wrote:
       | Is it bad that I favorite'd this post so I can read it later?
        
       | sirsinsalot wrote:
       | Procrastination _can_ be related to perfectionism.
       | 
       | And chronic stress. And anxiety. And trauma. And clinical
       | depression. And avoidant behaviour disorders linked to autism and
       | ADHD.
       | 
       |  _can_ be. It is an important distinction, usually one lost on
       | people selling something (be it a product, themselves, their ego)
        
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