[HN Gopher] For many home-schoolers, parents are no longer doing...
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       For many home-schoolers, parents are no longer doing the teaching
        
       Author : pretext
       Score  : 43 points
       Date   : 2023-08-26 16:41 UTC (6 hours ago)
        
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 (TXT) w3m dump (www.washingtonpost.com)
        
       | mikhmha wrote:
       | Why are people in the US so against public schools? I am someone
       | who did not really enjoy "school" and found it anxiety inducing
       | but I still see the benefits of it.
       | 
       | In public school you are forced to mingle with the people of your
       | generation. The ones who will inevitably go on to run the country
       | in whatever big or small way.
       | 
       | The objective of public school is to break down the regional
       | identities of old and assimilate the youth into the "new"
       | national identity. And what do we see in countries without
       | functional public schools? Everything sucks. And there is no
       | cohesion between peoples. I see it in the home country of my
       | parents.
        
         | et-al wrote:
         | I think with any discussion of public schools, it's highly
         | dependent of where you reside and what wacky choices the
         | administrators make.
         | 
         | The controversial "new math" here in California that delays
         | algebra until 9th grade (~14 years of age) probably has caused
         | a lot of parents with engineering backgrounds to reconsider.
        
         | NoMoreNicksLeft wrote:
         | > The objective of public school is to break down the regional
         | identities of old and assimilate the youth into the "new"
         | national identity.
         | 
         | No thanks.
         | 
         | If it was sold as "the best education you're likely to be able
         | to receive"... that'd be one thing. I might think that you were
         | exaggerating and that the quality was lower than what's being
         | sold, but I at least _want_ that for my kids.
         | 
         | But I have zero interest for or against breaking down "regional
         | identities". If it is just some social experiment, the
         | government's attempt at engineering a culture, they can keep
         | it.
        
         | zarzavat wrote:
         | Do you think we should do the same with adults? Many of these
         | arguments are also used by proponents of military service.
         | 
         | The funny thing about school is that almost no adults would be
         | willing to be subjected to it. Confined to a building every day
         | for the best years of your life, required to study what the
         | government decides should fill your head, and a persistent risk
         | of being beaten up. Delightful.
         | 
         | Ultimately the main reason that schools exist in their present
         | form is because they are economically useful. Parents need
         | somewhere to park their kids, while they go to work. As a child
         | I could never understand why adults would inflict the barbarism
         | of school on their own children, were they not aware? As an
         | adult it all makes a lot more sense.
        
           | MisterBastahrd wrote:
           | Tell me you've never experienced manual labor without telling
           | me you've never experience manual labor.
        
           | mikhmha wrote:
           | >Do you think we should do the same with adults? Many of
           | these arguments are also used by proponents of military
           | service.
           | 
           | I'm well aware. There is an irony to the arguments I make,
           | because I also detest the idea of forced erasure of identity.
           | 
           | Military service? No. I would be in favor of some 1-yr
           | mandatory civil service. I believe its important to interact
           | with all classes of the society you inhabit. How else can you
           | gain true perspective if you only live in a bubble? Life is
           | about being uncomfortable.
           | 
           | >The funny thing about school is that almost no adults would
           | be willing to be subjected to it.
           | 
           | Its interesting you say this, because at the same time we see
           | adults also long for their school days as they grow to hate
           | the 40 hour work week. Now it could be that what they really
           | long for is childhood and youth, but people also long for
           | their college days as well. They long for the environment
           | where they freely mingled with people of their age, and the
           | camaraderie they established in their "shared suffering".
           | They miss structured periods like "recess" and "lunch" or
           | "gym class", even though as an adult you can do these things
           | freely.
        
             | BeetleB wrote:
             | > How else can you gain true perspective if you only live
             | in a bubble? Life is about being uncomfortable.
             | 
             | 95% of the country has to deal with being uncomfortable,
             | without any mandatory civil service. What privileged
             | background do you come from where you do not realize this?
        
         | gnopgnip wrote:
         | It's a small but vocal minority and not representative
        
         | BeetleB wrote:
         | > Why are people in the US so against public schools?
         | 
         | The sentiment is not universal - perhaps not even close to a
         | majority. Most people in the US value public schools.
         | 
         | As to why people want to homeschool? The reasons are diverse
         | and differ for everyone. Themes you'll see:
         | 
         | - Religious parents who object to some aspect of the public
         | school system (anti-coed, against some of the indoctrination
         | kids get, etc).
         | 
         | - Smart parents who realize public schools are very inefficient
         | and cater to the worst students. They fear their kids will not
         | get the quality education they themselves got, and feel they
         | can teach at a more advanced level, in a more efficient manner.
         | If you're very skilled in certain subjects (e.g. math), it is
         | very scary to send your kids to an average school. The
         | probability that they will be above average in whatever subject
         | you are good at is fairly low.
         | 
         | - Along the same lines, people from other countries who are
         | great at certain subjects because their home countries valued
         | them but the current one doesn't. That's why schools like
         | "Russian School of Mathematics" exist. Not everyone lives in a
         | city that has one, so ... homeschool.
         | 
         | - Parents who believe schools are the source of anti-social
         | behavior and vices, and don't want their kids to end up that
         | way. Having seen kids who were home schooled, this really
         | works.
         | 
         | - Along the same lines, stuff like bullying. Especially for
         | those who grew up elsewhere, it seems insane how normalized
         | bullying in schools is in the US. A lot of Americans view it as
         | a rite of passage: You go to school so you can learn skills to
         | stand up to bullies. For immigrants, all of this means your kid
         | learns less (whether successful against the bullies or not).
         | 
         | - You have ideology X and simply value a lot of things not
         | taught in school, and devalue what they do teach.
         | 
         | - Culture: I had a great education, but as I have gotten older,
         | I realized that the school/teachers alone are not sufficient -
         | you need to be in a culture that values what you are learning.
         | Many immigrants (and even Americans) see American culture as
         | anti-intellectual, and that impedes what they retain (even when
         | they learn it and get A's). They may feel the public school
         | _teaches_ well enough, but fear their kids will be stunted
         | because of the culture.
         | 
         | I once tutored some kids, and they did not know "basic" things
         | like number of days in a year. It's not that they were dumb, or
         | had not been taught it. It was just a random useless piece of
         | knowledge. They learned it, passed the test, and forgot it. And
         | no matter how hard I tried to make it relevant for them, it
         | wouldn't be because it wasn't relevant in their home
         | environment or amongst their peers.
         | 
         | Where I grew up, it was socially unacceptable not to know this,
         | so _everyone_ knew it, whether a top student or a barely
         | passing one.
         | 
         | You can argue that this really isn't important to know, but now
         | extend that to almost _everything_ they teach - including
         | arithmetic and other parts of math. I would teach them, they
         | could clearly understand and learn it, they 'd do their
         | homework, and then forget it until they have to prepare for the
         | tests. And then forget it again.
         | 
         | You won't progress far in math if you learn that way. And those
         | who are interested in math are often shunned. I've lived in
         | countries where basic arithmetic (including multiplication) is
         | a basic skill _everyone_ (who is literate), can do on paper.
         | They may  "suck" at math, have failed algebra, but even to
         | their old age can do multiplication and other arithmetic with
         | relative ease. Why? Because society will judge them as idiots
         | if they can't. It doesn't matter that calculators are
         | available.
         | 
         | Someone from that country will suddenly be concerned when they
         | see how what is unacceptable where they come from has been
         | normalized, and what is a bare minimum back home will cause you
         | to be shunned.
         | 
         | Verizonmath[1] is very much a thing in the US. Verizon was
         | definitely _not_ an outlier. Every since it blew up in 2006, I
         | 've noticed it everywhere - I often take photos of proper ads
         | from real companies advertising a price of 0.99 cents when they
         | mean 99 cents. At yard sales, it's _very_ common to see things
         | advertised as 0.50 cents. Outside of places like HN, when I 've
         | pointed it out, I get push back - some percentage don't even
         | see what is wrong, and the rest insist it's OK to list prices
         | that way, even after acknowledging the mathematical error.
         | 
         | If you come from Eastern Europe, you probably don't want your
         | kids thinking it's OK. If the teacher teaches it properly but
         | all their fellow students think it's OK, chances are your kid
         | will think it's OK.
         | 
         | [1] http://verizonmath.blogspot.com/
        
         | sfRattan wrote:
         | > The objective of public school is to break down the regional
         | identities of old and assimilate the youth into the "new"
         | national identity.
         | 
         | Having read a bit of history about how many modern national
         | identities were constructed over the last three centuries,
         | that's a disturbing sentence to see written so casually.
         | Phrases like 'breaking down regional identities' and
         | 'assimilating the youth into the "new" national identity'
         | remind me of the forced assimilation of Sami peoples in Norway
         | and Sweden or the historical efforts of French governments,
         | both republican and monarchist, to ruthlessly crush regional
         | languages in the name of a 'right' to common language.
         | 
         | A more accurate way to understand the purpose of public
         | schooling might be: the objective of public school is to break
         | down regional identities of old and forcibly assimilate the
         | youth into the 'new' national identity _so that, as adults,
         | they will become a more compliant, fungible labor supply which
         | is more easily legible to the state and elites_.
         | 
         | That deeper purpose, which you either left unspoken or weren't
         | aware of, is what many people in the US have against public
         | schools. There are a lot of regional identities in America that
         | don't have much in common with mine, _but I 'll stand should to
         | shoulder with them against attitudes like yours and against the
         | policies that follow from those attitudes_. Doubly so in cases
         | where their identities were crushed in the past, which is sadly
         | common even in America.
        
           | mikhmha wrote:
           | I say it so casually because I also find it disturbing. Don't
           | worry, we share similar views.
           | 
           | And yet, I went through public schooling, learned the
           | "national" identity but I still retained my own unique
           | identity and cultural practices taught at home by parents.
           | And in the process, I forged a new identity, much like the
           | settlers who immigrated to this country before me.
           | 
           | Is it because my parents did not embed the great insecurity
           | into me? To reject everything taught from the onset because
           | it may lead me astray? They did nothing like that. They told
           | me to attend school, make friends, and learn new things. I
           | learned both the good and the bad of the dominant society I
           | lived in, simply by observing it for myself. And I became
           | familiar with the archetypes of the elites and the poor.
        
             | sfRattan wrote:
             | > Why are people in the US so against public schools?
             | 
             | > Don't worry, we share similar views.
             | 
             | No, we clearly do not. If you held similar views to mine,
             | _you would not have posed the question_ , nor followed it
             | with a false dilemma between breaking down regional
             | identities and, "everything sucks. And there is no cohesion
             | between peoples."
             | 
             | > And yet, I went through public schooling, learned the
             | "national" identity but I still retained my own unique
             | identity and cultural practices taught at home by parents.
             | 
             | To the extent that an American national identity exists, it
             | is rooted in shared ideals and beliefs. Those ideals
             | predate the system of public schooling devised by Prussian
             | officer-aristocrats in the mid nineteenth century. Our
             | ideals have certainly taken a beating under that system.
             | Hopefully, they will also postdate it.
             | 
             | Given that you believe you learned the American national
             | identity in a public school, I do wonder a bit about how
             | well you understand that identity. Especially in light of
             | your initial question, which implies a lack of
             | understanding of why Americans might oppose a major
             | institution.
        
               | mikhmha wrote:
               | You read too much into my initial post. I would not have
               | been so blunt if it wasn't to point out the great irony
               | of public schooling and its inception coinciding with
               | modern nation states. I pose the hyperbole question
               | because I see the greatest opposition to public schooling
               | from Americans and religious peoples.
               | 
               | "everything sucks. And there is no cohesion between
               | peoples."
               | 
               | Because at the same time I understand the brutal truth.
               | The nations of today where this process of state
               | centralization did not occur, or occurred under coercion
               | from colonial powers are much worse off. And there people
               | viewed as backwards or uncivilized unable to compete in
               | the modern world, even though they admirably continue to
               | resist modernity.
               | 
               | >"Given that you believe you learned the American
               | national identity in a public school..."
               | 
               | I'm not American. I'm Canadian. And no I did not learn
               | the national identity strictly through school, it was
               | through the people I met at school. My peers, friends,
               | etc. It was those interactions that were facilitated
               | through the public school system.
        
         | cumshitpiss wrote:
         | [dead]
        
         | scotty79 wrote:
         | Because their schools are financed by local property taxes so
         | if everybody around you isn't rich, your public school is poor
         | and bad.
        
         | dragonwriter wrote:
         | > Why are people in the US so against public schools?
         | 
         | Mostly, even homeschoolers, aren't.
         | 
         | They either (and the latter is, I guess, a special case of the
         | former, but worth calling out separately) think the existing
         | public schools available to them are a failure in general or
         | for the specific needs of their children that is unresolvable
         | in time to adequately serve their children without being
         | "against public schools" more generally (I've known people who
         | _work_ in public education and homeschool that are in this
         | group with regard to their children's specific needs), or they
         | are ideologically opposed to education that isn't guided by
         | indoctrination in their particular religious /ideological
         | beliefs and believe that the current public schools available
         | to them are inadequate on those grounds.
        
           | lotharbot wrote:
           | For example:
           | 
           | I previously worked in the public schools, and in a museum
           | education program that worked 90% with public school classes.
           | My mom was a public school teacher before I was born. My
           | sister, who I'm quite close to, still works in the public
           | schools. We all went to public schools in my neighborhood. My
           | middle child goes to a public school that I can see from my
           | living room. There's no opposition to public school in my
           | family.
           | 
           | When my oldest finished his public Montessori elementary
           | school and went to the district's Highly Gifted school at age
           | 12, it was a major step back for him. 40 minutes each way on
           | the bus just to be at a school that was cookie-cutter and
           | wasn't able to support his needs, particularly advanced math
           | -- I don't think there's a single teacher in the building who
           | even knows how to assess the gaps in his knowledge; they were
           | trying to teach him what an exponent is when what he actually
           | needed was to fill in gaps in calculus about techniques like
           | Lagrange Multipliers. So he's home with me, because it's
           | better _for him_. Public school was fine for him as a younger
           | kid, and it 's still good for other kids, but it's not a good
           | fit for him now.
        
       | abnry wrote:
       | I was homeschooled K-12. Even 15 years ago, my parents would say
       | that they were like general contractors for my education. And it
       | is really is true. I had a mix of co-op, community college,
       | online, self-study, and parent-guided study for all my courses.
       | This was more so for highschool and less so for primary or grade
       | school, which was mostly directly taught by my mother. And as
       | others have said, homeschooling is very, very time efficient.
       | IIRC, during grade school I was done by lunch time (maybe one or
       | two smaller things required).
        
       | jkestner wrote:
       | The reason we moved our kids from Montessori to public school is
       | to throw our lot in with the majority of society. It's made me
       | active in the PTA and school library because up close it's hard
       | to ignore the challenges staff deal with, and with skin in the
       | game, I don't have the time to wait for someone else to do it.
       | 
       | Hopefully the work we put into the shared system raises the tide
       | for all families, so my children grow up within a healthier
       | community. (It already feels great working with other parents on
       | it.) I recognize that it may not be academically ideal for my own
       | kids, but studies (no time to cite) have noted that socioeconomic
       | status is a top indicator of academic success. They'll be fine.
        
       | satvikpendem wrote:
       | I don't really "get" homeschooling. How can parents be
       | knowledgeable in all the subjects that school teachers teach?
       | There are also cases of parents homeschooling for the purpose of
       | religiously or otherwise ideologically indoctrinating their
       | children, something that does not often happen in public schools,
       | both due to the curricula as well as heterogeneity of thought via
       | socializing and sharing information with many other students.
       | 
       | I suppose the pro is that you can teach exactly what you want,
       | but that's also a con, as above.
        
         | scotty79 wrote:
         | It's not about what is taught to kids but about what kids
         | retain.
         | 
         | And it seems that primary role of school when the bottom line
         | is considered is keeping kids busy so their parents can work in
         | peace. So there's really no strong objection if some parents
         | want to opt out of this because not many will.
        
         | BeetleB wrote:
         | > How can parents be knowledgeable in all the subjects that
         | school teachers teach?
         | 
         | Ask parents who home school. Also, just read the article.
         | 
         | > There are also cases of parents homeschooling for the purpose
         | of religiously or otherwise ideologically indoctrinating their
         | children, something that does not often happen in public
         | schools,
         | 
         | At some level, it definitely happens in schools. People who
         | deny it's happening have a worldview where what they teach is
         | the "norm" or consider it "basic fact". Just ask any parent who
         | has said something along the lines of "I don't want my school
         | teaching my kids X. What does X have to do with education?" -
         | replace X with anything in the social justice sphere.
        
       | bigfryo wrote:
       | Lol.. reading that article shows us how the establishment really
       | wants to get rid of homeschooling and is afraid of it growing in
       | one of the population.. they can hardly wait for some scandal in
       | homeschooling so that they can exploit it as a crisis to shut
       | down homeschooling
        
       | Justsignedup wrote:
       | This is giving me the worst of vibes:
       | 
       | - options for people who don't want to expose their children to
       | out-of-family ideas, to perpetuate family biases
       | 
       | - a completely unregulated market for children to go to a
       | "school" with a few other kids, giving them small classrooms,
       | BUT, no teacher with specialization or educational background.
       | Would be extremely hit or miss, with little resource if it isn't
       | working out.
       | 
       | - only for those who can afford it.
       | 
       | It just feels... it feels like people have completely given up on
       | society and said fuck it, we'll make our own.
       | 
       | This is sad. The real solution is not to homeschool. It is to
       | force ALL kids, regardless of age, location, and income to be
       | forced into the same school system. Want to improve things? gotta
       | make it better for everyone.
        
       | jawns wrote:
       | We are in our ninth year of homeschooling. My wife and I attended
       | private and public schools and grew up with typical biases
       | against homeschooling, e.g. they lack social skills. When we got
       | married, we always assumed we'd send our kids to traditional
       | schools.
       | 
       | What we learned, though, is that homeschooling has changed since
       | we were in school. Back then, it was a niche, and the sort of
       | parents who chose to homeschool usually existed on the fringe
       | (and probably lacked social skills themselves).
       | 
       | Nowadays, there are a lot more "normal" families who choose to
       | homeschool. Our family, and many others we've encountered, values
       | and promotes social skills. Our kids attend co-ops, play sports,
       | and do other activities with their peers.
       | 
       | And because the demographics of homeschoolers have changed, so
       | too have the ways that they homeschool. It's not very surprising
       | that there is more collaborative teaching, where parents remain
       | the primary educators, but certain subjects are outsourced to co-
       | ops, online sessions on Outschool, etc.
        
         | mythrwy wrote:
         | The argument about lack of socialization from failure to attend
         | public school might have some basis.
         | 
         | But thinking back, I came out of the public schools with some
         | pretty anti social behaviors and attitudes that I picked up
         | there. Being cool is so important at that age in that setting.
         | 
         | I often wonder what life would have been like had I been taken
         | out say, age 12 or 13 and given a more solid education to match
         | my natural inclinations away from the cruelty, the misbehavior
         | and the general time wasting that characterizes much of public
         | school in the US.
         | 
         | Kuddos to you for putting in the effort to give your kids the
         | best possible real education. It has to be a lot of work.
        
           | foogazi wrote:
           | > Being cool is so important at that age in that setting.
           | 
           | is it ?
           | 
           | Maybe it just comes down to personality
           | 
           | In my mind I was so uncool that the only way to win was not
           | to play
        
             | bawolff wrote:
             | > In my mind I was so uncool that the only way to win was
             | not to play
             | 
             | I mean, if you are thinking about it in those terms it
             | sounds like it was pretty important.
        
           | ryandrake wrote:
           | Is public school really that cruel these days? I have a 10
           | year old, and everyone in her class seems so wholesome and...
           | exceedingly tolerant for lack of a better phrase. Compared to
           | when I was a 10 year old where public school was a _Lord Of
           | The Flies_ thunderdome with bullying, and shoving people into
           | lockers, and fights, and in-groups and out-groups and nerds
           | vs. jocks, all the cruel 80s stereotypes. Sure, there 's the
           | occasional story of extreme bullying that happens to make the
           | news, but it seems like these are far outliers these days.
           | 
           | I see absolutely zero need to pull her out. The academics are
           | ok--not what an expensive private school might offer, but
           | they track well with what I was learning at that age. The
           | social/institutional environment is much better than when I
           | was a kid.
           | 
           | The few parents I know who homeschool (admittedly, mostly
           | from my wife's church group) do so for religious separatism
           | reasons, not for educational outcome. They object to public
           | school on ideological grounds and perceived "indoctrination,"
           | not on the academics.
        
             | ufmace wrote:
             | It's probably impossible to generalize among all public
             | schools. Some are and some aren't to various degrees
             | depending on a thousand factors. The problem is more like,
             | how do you realize if a particular public school class is
             | bad and what are your practical options once you do.
        
             | NoMoreNicksLeft wrote:
             | > Is public school really that cruel these days?
             | 
             | This is a good question, but how am I supposed to find out
             | the answer with any real certainty short of exposing my
             | kids to it? Not really a sane option. "Hey, kiddo, go dance
             | on the minefield and see if there are any left" isn't my
             | style of parenting.
             | 
             | > Sure, there's the occasional story of extreme bullying
             | that happens to make the news, but it seems like these are
             | far outliers these days.
             | 
             | It's quite possible that the extremes are just the ones
             | that make the news. The low-intensity torment is in my
             | opinion just as traumatizing, but unless some parent raises
             | a big stink about it then it usually doesn't even rise to
             | the level of neighborhood gossip.
        
             | 1123581321 wrote:
             | Still lots of problems (more in middle and high school) but
             | it's easier to today to discover and move to where the
             | schools are better. Homeschooling in areas with poor public
             | schools tends to be focused on academics and a better
             | environment although the desire to provide religious
             | education exists everywhere. An area where few
             | homeschooling families exist would probably have high
             | graduation rates and low crime rates in its public schools.
        
             | mythrwy wrote:
             | I don't know about today and don't have kids. This was in
             | the late 70's/ 80's. It was as you say, Lord of The Flies
             | indeed. Good to hear maybe it has improved. Or maybe the
             | bullying is all online now.
             | 
             | I'd like to point out, 10 years old isn't really in the
             | thick of it yet. Might rethink your statement say, Junior
             | year of high school.
        
           | jawns wrote:
           | That argument held sway with me for a long time, but not
           | anymore.
           | 
           | Our kids get a decent amount of socialization through all the
           | activities they're involved in, and when other kids find out
           | they're homeschooled, their response is more often genuine
           | surprise rather than "Oh, that figures."
           | 
           | The idea that kids learn social skills best by being thrown
           | into a rigid, institutional environment surrounded by
           | hundreds of other kids whose social skills are also far from
           | developed is kinda silly, though. It's like saying criminals
           | will reform themselves best by surrounding themselves with
           | lots of other criminals.
        
             | zerbinxx wrote:
             | One good thing about the rigid institutional environment,
             | for better or worse, is that having exposure to that
             | rigidity and institutional side of things can at least give
             | kids some skills in the long run for navigating the anti-
             | human organizations that form so much of our public and
             | private sectors.
        
               | tomp wrote:
               | Almost all other societal structures are _way_ less rigid
               | and tyrannical.
               | 
               | Name another institution where inmates have to ask for
               | permission to go to the toilet, besides _school_ and
               | _jail_.
               | 
               | Edit: or another institution where people can attack you
               | and you can't call police to help you.
        
               | acka wrote:
               | > Name another institution where inmates have to ask for
               | permission to go to the toilet, besides school and jail.
               | 
               | Busy call centers, fast food restaurants. Factories:
               | assembly line workers. Chemical plants: process
               | operators.
               | 
               | I don't mean to be snarky but I think you would be
               | surprised at the percentage of the population working
               | jobs where they cannot simply leave their station without
               | permission.
               | 
               | > Edit: or another institution where people can attack
               | you and you can't call police to help you.
               | 
               | The military: active duty personnel deployed to war
               | zones.
        
               | throw9away6 wrote:
               | I think that's the primary benefit of the school system
        
           | roughly wrote:
           | A relative is homeschooling their kids, and they're not doing
           | a great job of it academically, but those kids are some of
           | the sweetest, most light hearted and caring kids I've ever
           | been around.
           | 
           | I learned some socialization at public school, sure. I also
           | learned what it was to have a bureaucracy just roll over you
           | because nobody involved cared enough to notice you were
           | there. Those kids will have that experience eventually, but
           | I'm all for delaying it.
        
           | hackerlight wrote:
           | The socialization argument is nonsense. Schools as factory
           | farms came _first_ -- with no regard for socialization --
           | then the socialization argument was made _later_ to
           | rationalize it.
           | 
           | Forcing kids (by constructing their environment in such a
           | way) to have only relationships with kids that are precisely
           | the same age as them is _weird_. Some healthy relationships
           | with people who are a few years older in positive. Older kids
           | /people need to be embedded in the social circle. You get
           | less immature nonsense and less bullying. Homeschooling done
           | right is more similar to how kids developed socially in our
           | ancestral past (all the way up to a few hundred years ago).
           | And I'm not saying that it's better because it's natural. It
           | actually makes sense as to why it's better.
        
           | enkid wrote:
           | There is no and has never been any true evidence that home
           | schooled kids are worse at socialization then the ones that
           | go to a traditional school, at least as far as I can tell.
           | It's a meme that people propagate because it is "common
           | sense," but none of the studies I've looked at supports it.
        
         | jimmytucson wrote:
         | How much time does homeschooling take for you? Does it roughly
         | equate to one full-time job? I have wanted to homeschool my
         | kids but I am afraid I would have to quit my job or downshift
         | to part-time.
         | 
         | And since they are different ages, I worry that if I taught
         | them all at the same time, the curriculum would average into
         | something too challenging for the younger and not challenging
         | enough for the elder. How do you manage to meet all their needs
         | at once?
        
           | NoMoreNicksLeft wrote:
           | Motivated children can easily outpace public-schooled
           | children with 3 or 4 days a week at 3 hours a day. They can
           | be very self-directed, but the trouble with it is they go
           | down rabbit holes and they'll excel at one or two subjects to
           | the detriment of others.
           | 
           | My daughter would want to spend 6-10 hours a day on art, but
           | wouldn't want to do her French or math homework. My son just
           | told me that alef (in the Hebrew alphabet) was the symbol for
           | Graham's number, but balks when I try to get him to memorize
           | his multiplication tables.
           | 
           | > And since they are different ages, I worry that if I taught
           | them all at the same time, the curriculum would average into
           | something too challenging
           | 
           | If there is a subject where that is the case, I do not know
           | what it would be. Once they're past the age of 7 or 8, most
           | or all children are capable of what they would be at older
           | ages. I don't think, for instance, that an 8 yr old learning
           | to read is slower at it than one learning that for the first
           | time at age 14.
           | 
           | For the record though, didn't get to teach my son to read.
           | With his sister, I tried from age three on up... every few
           | months I'd see if she was more agreeable to it, and she
           | wanted nothing to do with it until sevenish. She could sound
           | words out phonetically if I pushed from the start, but with a
           | look on her face like I was pulling teeth with pliers. So I
           | waited with my son until he was almost seven... and he could
           | just read. I have no idea how. My wife claims she didn't, and
           | his sister certainly didn't either.
           | 
           | I think, really, that public schools doing age segregation
           | has more to do with them trying to perfectly homogenize the
           | product they crank off the assembly line, than it does with
           | making sure each student gets enough learning opportunity.
        
             | rolisz wrote:
             | > If there is a subject where that is the case, I do not
             | know what it would be. Once they're past the age of 7 or 8,
             | most or all children are capable of what they would be at
             | older ages. I don't think, for instance, that an 8 yr old
             | learning to read is slower at it than one learning that for
             | the first time at age 14.
             | 
             | From personal experience: I first encountered differential
             | equations in highschool, while preparing for physics
             | Olympiad. I could solve basic equations, but I didn't
             | understand what I was doing and for example the damped
             | oscillator equation was mistifying. Fast forward to
             | university, in the first diffential equation class,
             | everything made perfect sense and I found it super easy.
             | There was probably at least two years between the two
             | stories.
        
               | tomp wrote:
               | It was the same for me with stochastic processes.
               | 
               | Most likely has nothing to do with age, but simply the
               | fact that it was the _second_ time you've encountered it.
               | Your brain spent 2 years subconsciously processing it.
        
               | ljlolel wrote:
               | Yes it's going to be a lot easier for you than the people
               | seeing it for the first time who have to spend a bunch of
               | time cranking equations.
        
           | kashunstva wrote:
           | > How much time does homeschooling take for you? Does it
           | roughly equate to one full-time job?
           | 
           | It depends. I quit my job to homeschool my daughter so that
           | she could practice and pursue her violin studies without the
           | encumbrances of mainstream school. I suspect some could have
           | done this and maintained some kind of a job; I couldn't. We
           | spent much of the day either in school work, or practice, and
           | then I'd prep tomorrow's material. Neither time nor energy
           | was left at the end of the day.
        
           | baryphonic wrote:
           | I homeschool my two kids. I was worried about the time
           | commitment at first, but it's honestly quite small. At most,
           | I spend two hours in the morning for both kids. Typical
           | mornings are an hour to an hour and a half. Some subjects
           | like social studies we do together (my kids are two years
           | apart). Others, like math or language arts, are per child (I
           | usually have the other one read or practice piano when giving
           | a one-on-one lesson). My wife does a lot of the supplemental
           | activities like taking them to our co-op or to museums.
           | 
           | A _lot_ of time in public schools is either wasted or simply
           | a consequence of classes having ~30 students each. I also
           | find that homeschool kids can be taught the discipline to
           | work on their own after a lesson. I check the work in the
           | evenings or before school starts in the morning.
           | 
           | I can understand why many people might not want to
           | homeschool, but I find it's been a blessing for my kids & our
           | family.
        
         | homeskool111 wrote:
         | It's hilarious to me that people think they can replace formal
         | education with the nonsense that is homeschool.
         | 
         | Social skills is such a red-herring. People were social long
         | before school. It's instinctual.
         | 
         | Every homeschooler I met in college was just short of flunking
         | out. College isn't "out school" or whatever we're calling the
         | homeopathic education these days.
         | 
         | The education system needs to be reformed, but every
         | homeschooler is about as well equipped for the real world as
         | the people in the poorest school-districts, of the poorest
         | cities, of the poorest states.
        
           | ryandrake wrote:
           | This being HN, a site full of mostly successful folks, we are
           | likely to only hear the anecdotal success stories of
           | homeschooling posted here, and not the failure stories. For
           | every gushing "I was homeschooled and I now run my own $50M
           | company!" story, how many are not getting posted that amount
           | to "I was homeschooled and the only book I read was the
           | bible. I don't know 4th grade math, am unemployable and
           | trapped as someone's housewife." Are there even published
           | statistics about this?
        
             | voisin wrote:
             | The same could be said about regular public schools too,
             | no? I know a number of people that went to a local
             | religious school and they came out with excellent
             | understanding of the bible and quickly married off and
             | started having children rather than pursuing advanced
             | education.
        
             | BeetleB wrote:
             | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homeschooling#Research
             | 
             | There is some good research, but be wary. A lot of the
             | research is done by pro-homeschooling institutions.
        
           | abnry wrote:
           | Very, very wrong. I know numerous homeschooled peers who have
           | advanced degrees, including PhDs.
        
           | SoftTalker wrote:
           | I mean it greatly depends on the quality and dedication of
           | the parents doing the homeschooling.
           | 
           | I never considered it for my kids because our public schools
           | are pretty good, and I did not feel I had the experience or
           | resources or time to do any better. But some people have more
           | of a passion for it and find answers to those issues.
           | 
           | I'm sure there are kids who are poorly homeschooled, but your
           | anecdote does not meany anything in the big picture. Shall I
           | tell you about all the public-school kids I met who ended up
           | flunking out of college?
        
           | lieut_data wrote:
           | Homeschooler here, from the era before this modern trend.
           | Definitely grew up around students with poor social skills
           | --- and even started out that way myself! --- but I graduated
           | university with honours in computer science and have a
           | successful career in software engineering.
           | 
           | I could share lots of anecdotes in the reverse, but that's
           | really all they are. Either way, homeschooling wasn't
           | nonsense for me, and I'm choosing to continue that legacy
           | with my children alongside this next generation of parents
           | who believe homeschooling is the best option for their
           | family.
        
         | Taylor_OD wrote:
         | Just as a counterpoint... I was homeschooled from 2nd grade
         | until sophomore year of high school. I played sports the entire
         | time (was the captain of various teams), had plenty of friends,
         | and was pretty social. Even still, I felt like my social skills
         | were significantly stunted when compared to others my age. It
         | took a long time for me to feel comfortable just hanging out
         | with others because most of my social time was spent doing
         | activities.
         | 
         | Was in high school ~10 years ago and the other homeschool
         | families we knew were a mix of farm/ultra religious low social
         | skill homeschoolers and fairly normal folks with decent social
         | skills.
         | 
         | TLDR: I think there is a social aspect of being in school that
         | homeschool kids miss out on, regardless of how many
         | extracurricular or sports they may do.
        
           | edmundsauto wrote:
           | I was public schooled and also felt uncomfortable sitting
           | around hanging out, without a purpose or a goal or activity.
           | May not be home schooling that is the cause - people are just
           | different.
        
           | rayiner wrote:
           | [delayed]
        
         | NickM wrote:
         | Speaking from experience, there were plenty of normal families
         | who chose homeschooling decades ago. The problem is that the
         | weird people make a lot of noise, and then homeschooling gets a
         | reputation, which causes the self-aware normal folks to shy
         | away from talking about homeschooling too publicly because they
         | don't want to be associated with the negative stereotypes.
         | 
         | The trouble is, this can become a feedback loop, because the
         | only way to dispel the stereotypes is if more normal folks
         | speak up.
         | 
         | I've seen this same phenomenon affect other subcultures too,
         | and I suspect there's probably a name for it, but I don't know
         | what it is.
        
           | cogman10 wrote:
           | My main issue with homeschooling is mostly around the fact
           | that it's generally done so parents can control and limit
           | children's access to well accepted facts (such as evolution,
           | age of the earth, or dinosaurs). But beyond that, I've known
           | a fair number of homeschoolers that end up with illiterate
           | children. That's because teaching kids is super hard and real
           | easy to mess up.
           | 
           | Homeschooling generally happens because parents don't like
           | some aspect of public schooling and more often than not it's
           | that general knowledge conflicts with a religious belief.
        
         | rayiner wrote:
         | [delayed]
        
       | pierat wrote:
       | Synposis: Shitty Silly-Con valley company is selling "teaching
       | homeschoolers" under the guise of "microschooling" and "guides"
       | instead of proper teachers. Reading in any of these scam
       | companies, and you'll find quickly that they are not schools, and
       | these are not accredited teachers. But again, deregulation and
       | demolishment of public sector structures and laws to further
       | private interests IS the point, as we'll see.
       | 
       | And their payment model is bonkers....
       | https://www.prenda.com/empowering-learners                   The
       | Prenda Fee - "The Prenda fee for the 2023-2024 school year is
       | $2,199." (As in, each student's family pays this to Prenda)
       | The Guide Fee - "The guide fee is set by you as the guide and
       | will vary from microschool to microschool." (AKA The Uber/AirBNB
       | model of education, where the intermediates have no knowledge and
       | all the risk.)
       | 
       | And some states allow redirecting funds from state education
       | money to pay for this new scam. And this goes back to a previous
       | post I commented on,
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37179921 . Now, we can add
       | "Expensive Imaginary Scam Education".
       | 
       | In reality, send your children to public school, and use the
       | money you'd waste on this scam to visit museums, universities,
       | libraries, historical sites, and the like. BE the enriching force
       | in your child's life.
        
         | zerbinxx wrote:
         | Is it really a scam if it helps kids fit in and learn? I have a
         | pretty strong baseline bias against homeschool, but a lot of
         | the testimonials in the article are pretty positive. For every
         | fear people have of homeschools being dangerous or inadequate,
         | it's hard to look at public education as anything but that.
        
           | ceejayoz wrote:
           | Testimonials are as useful as Amazon five-star reviews, and
           | the actual data on educational interventions/approaches takes
           | decades to come back.
        
           | Clent wrote:
           | Testimonials are always positive.
        
         | BeetleB wrote:
         | I started the article with the same skeptical mindset as you,
         | and to be frank, I was in support of these by the time I
         | finished it.
         | 
         | I can definitely see this being a disaster. I can also see it
         | as becoming quite successful. Time will tell, but having more
         | choices in education is better. Let those who can afford to
         | experiment pay those fees. When I look at what people overpay
         | for their cars, I'm going to guess this will have better
         | returns than the vehicle will.
         | 
         | > In reality, send your children to public school, and use the
         | money you'd waste on this scam to visit museums, universities,
         | libraries, historical sites, and the like. BE the enriching
         | force in your child's life.
         | 
         | A false dichotomy, don't you think? Someone sending their kids
         | to these microschools are probably as likely to send their kids
         | to museums, etc than those who send kids to public schools. In
         | my anecdotal experience, they are _more_ likely. In the old
         | days (i.e. 10-20 years ago), sending kids to museums, libraries
         | and field trips for education was _heavily promoted_ by those
         | advocating for homeschooling.
        
         | treis wrote:
         | This doesn't accurately reflect the reality of the situation.
         | Atlanta Public Schools (my local district) spends $22k per
         | student and average teacher pay is like $60k. Get 7 kids
         | together and you can hire a teacher with 10s of thousand left
         | over for other stuff. Or send your kid into a class room with
         | 20-30 other kids.
         | 
         | Some of this is cheating by not dealing with the added expense
         | of special needs kids. But a lot more of it is the explosion of
         | administration and expenses not directly related to education.
         | 
         | It seems to be the trend in local government. Taxes get
         | collected and the bureaucracy grabs the bulk of the dollars
         | leading only a little of the value delivered back to the
         | citizens. Schools are a prime example. 25 kids in a class room
         | are consuming $1 million of tax dollars and less than 10% of
         | that goes to the person educating them.
         | 
         | Like you call $2k bonkers but what do you think APS is
         | consuming in administration to educate my kid?
        
       | ghotli wrote:
       | I have family members who are homeschooling but it is clear to me
       | that no one is actually teaching these children. They are sweet
       | nice people but criminally undereducated for their age.
       | 
       | It overall sours my opinion of any positive homeschooling
       | comments here or otherwise just witnessing children that will be
       | handicapped life long because their parents are conservative poor
       | christian antivaxxer racists that are 'afraid' of the public
       | school system.
       | 
       | Surely there are positive outcomes in homeschooling and just as
       | bad of outcomes in real schools. Just seems like an escape hatch
       | for people like my family members that appear to be completely
       | cool with how many years behind these children are. My heart
       | bleeds for all the children in this situation, in real school or
       | otherwise.
        
       | neonate wrote:
       | http://web.archive.org/web/20230826164333/https://www.washin...
       | 
       | https://archive.ph/jY2ca
        
       | iambateman wrote:
       | A couple things to pull out...
       | 
       | (1) sometimes alternative education is worse.
       | 
       | There's no question that, in some cases, alternative school is
       | worse for a child's development than standard public school. I've
       | personally seen children who were falling behind because their
       | parents were not equipped to teach them in high school.
       | 
       | (2) it can sometimes be better.
       | 
       | Alternative school is higher variance than public school - the
       | children who do poorly probably do worse while it can be
       | spectacular for some children.
       | 
       | We shouldn't ignore that a relatively large percentage of
       | homeschooled kids emerge at or near genius level. For kids for
       | whom homeschooling works, it _really_ works.
       | 
       | (3) policy should encourage choice.
       | 
       | On average, the US public school system is mediocre by world
       | standards and in some parts of the country it's an utter failure.
       | Parents should be trusted with the care and education of their
       | children because they're in the best position to know what their
       | child needs. Certainly some regulation around that freedom is in
       | order, but we should expect more competition to produce more
       | growth from a policy standpoint.
       | 
       | Just like capitalism is the best-bad economic system we have,
       | parent-choice is the best-bad educational system. Some parents
       | will fail at their job and others will not. But centrally planned
       | educational systems have massive problems, and parents must be
       | allowed to opt out of those problems as their only real form of
       | accountability.
       | 
       | (4) we should avoid drawing conclusions from individual stories.
       | 
       | When something bad happens at a public school - kid fails,
       | someone gets shot, drugs are found, some one gets pregnant,
       | there's a fight - we accept those as being part of life, not a
       | problem with public school. But when something bad happens to a
       | homeschooler, we tend to wonder if the _system_ of homeschooling
       | is broken. But the reality is that those stories are likely more
       | surprising but probably not more common than the bad things which
       | happen at a public high school.
       | 
       | In the story, someone is quoted as saying "Eventually, something
       | horrific is going to happen in one of these situations." Which
       | may be true and I hope we can find a way to avoid anything bad
       | happening to anyone. But let's not forget how many horrific
       | things happen _every week_ in high schools across America. It is
       | a false promise to say that simply going to a public high school
       | would fix all the problems found in homeschooling.
       | 
       | Finally, if a parent wants to outsource the teaching of their
       | child to a person who is operating out of a house, we should let
       | them. The parent is the person most able to accurately assess
       | their child's needs, and it has to be their responsibility to
       | make good choices for their children.
        
         | snarf21 wrote:
         | First, we need major educational reform in this country. That
         | said, the problem is that school must (in order to scale) by
         | definition teach at the middle kid of any and all classrooms.
         | This means some are always lagging behind and some are always
         | somewhat bored. At home, a dedicated parent can teach _any_
         | child more effectively because they are getting individual
         | attention and level setting. However, I 'd argue the point of
         | school and college is far far greater than the acquisition of
         | knowledge. I'm fine with parents having the right to choose but
         | like most things in life there are pros and cons and one size
         | doesn't fit all.
        
       | BeetleB wrote:
       | > Home-schooled children have attended Ivy League schools and won
       | national spelling bees. They have also been the victims of child
       | abuse and severe neglect. Some are taught using the classics of
       | ancient Greece, others with Nazi propaganda.
       | 
       | So ... just like kids in public school?
       | 
       | Somewhat orthogonal to the article: In my state a lot of people
       | were forced to home-school during Covid, and a significant
       | percentage of them continue to do so. They found the experience
       | and outcomes a lot better than what they had been getting at the
       | public school. I listened to their experiences on a local radio
       | show, and was fairly disappointed with the home school curriculum
       | - it was far more focused on alternative subjects not taught in
       | schools, and quite a lot of the "usual" curriculum was omitted
       | (very little math, for example, and if they did teach science, it
       | was with a lot less rigor). It was almost 80-90% about
       | "experiential learning" vs "book learning". I get the value of
       | experiential learning and do agree public schools have too little
       | of it, but I fear these kids are being cheated out of the
       | possibility of getting into STEM - there's no way they can do
       | anything in the hard sciences without some good foundations.
       | 
       | The other thing that always confounds me: Virtually every study
       | out there shows that on average, by a certain age, home school
       | kids outperform public school kids in most/all arenas (social,
       | academic, etc). At worst they perform at the same level. The
       | parents are very happy with the outcomes. I've known homeschooled
       | kids that are _easily_ 2 grades ahead of where they would be at a
       | typical public school - and with no social shortcomings
       | whatsoever, but they may be outliers as the parents were
       | brilliant themselves.
       | 
       | So, both anecdotal and research shows it to be superior. Yet most
       | adults I've met who were home schooled as a kid are unhappy with
       | their parents' choice.[1] I suspect it is akin to how most people
       | overvalue what they don't have, seeing only the benefits of what
       | they've been deprived and not the downsides.
       | 
       | [1] Although as I write this, I realize I should account for the
       | fact that many/most kids really _hate_ their school experience -
       | particularly high school. So perhaps the home schooled kids aren
       | 't any less satisfied with their education experience than
       | typical public school kids.
        
         | MisterBastahrd wrote:
         | > I've known homeschooled kids that are easily 2 grades ahead
         | of where they would be at a typical public school - and with no
         | social shortcomings whatsoever, but they may be outliers as the
         | parents were brilliant themselves.
         | 
         | I've never met a single person like this. I _have_ met quite a
         | few whose parents were dumber than stumps and had weird
         | religious reasons for homeschooling their kids. The result was
         | extremely poorly socialized, super-dumb kids who never
         | progressed past the education level of their parents. They
         | mostly moved to public school for high school because they
         | wanted to play varsity sports, and they got their heads handed
         | to them in class because they were several years behind their
         | classmates. It 's hard to learn in a class when you don't
         | understand anything that the class is being taught and everyone
         | thinks you're stupid to boot. One of them moved out of state
         | immediately out of high school because he was so embarrassed at
         | people's perception of him.
        
         | foogazi wrote:
         | > I've known homeschooled kids that are easily 2 grades ahead
         | of where they would be at a typical public school - and with no
         | social shortcomings whatsoever
         | 
         | For certain kids school is holding them up
         | 
         | But that's the problem with a standardization. What are the
         | odds that all kids need the same amount of time for all
         | subjects
         | 
         | Initially everyone was home schooled. The school system is a
         | feature & bug of scaling up
        
           | User23 wrote:
           | Classroom instruction has to be at a pace that the slowest
           | member of the class can follow. This inevitably leaves the
           | brighter children frustrated, to say the least.
        
           | varjag wrote:
           | Initially everyone was illiterate, except the lucky few in
           | position of wealth.
        
           | BeetleB wrote:
           | > But that's the problem with a standardization. What are the
           | odds that all kids need the same amount of time for all
           | subjects
           | 
           | They acknowledge that, but it doesn't change the thought
           | process, right? If I _know_ my kids can learn 70% more than
           | they do in public schools, and have all the skills /tools to
           | provide it to them, I don't care about the reason schools are
           | inefficient.
           | 
           | The sentiment that homeschooling parents has is that public
           | schools time things to target below average students. That's
           | wildly inefficient. Couple it with a reluctance to hold back
           | students and it gets even more inefficient. I went to a
           | private school. For certain key subjects (history, math,
           | science, etc), if you failed just one subject you get held
           | back and have to repeat the whole year. As a student, this
           | was fantastic. It means if your class got stuck with a
           | "troublemaker" who was poor academically and disruptive, you
           | wouldn't have to put up with him for more than a year. He
           | would either shape up eventually or keep failing till the
           | parents pulled him out because it's too expensive.
        
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