[HN Gopher] I'm OK, the bull is dead (2004)
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       I'm OK, the bull is dead (2004)
        
       Author : g4zj
       Score  : 278 points
       Date   : 2023-08-11 11:29 UTC (1 days ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.computerworld.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.computerworld.com)
        
       | mhb wrote:
       | If only our current new crop of journalists could relearn this.
        
       | ZeroGravitas wrote:
       | I'm not sure of this specific example but it's a good policy when
       | you are about to mention an accident/illness/school shooting or
       | other situation where a loved one of theirs may have been badly
       | injured or killed to preface that with "everyone (optional: that
       | you know) is fine but..." to save them imaging the worst until
       | you get to the details.
       | 
       | I think of it as the opposite of those clickbait headlines where
       | they try to trick you into believing it applies to you or your
       | family by leaving out details.
       | 
       | "Local school explodes" will get more clicks than clarifying it
       | was empty at the time and/or giving the specific name.
        
       | BiteCode_dev wrote:
       | This is why I always start with a tl;dr for all articles on
       | https://bitecode.dev.
       | 
       | There is too much BS out there. Let's save everybody's time.
        
       | praptak wrote:
       | It's also called BLUF (Bottom line up front).
        
         | Brian_K_White wrote:
         | But the example isn't.
         | 
         | The bottom line is that something happened at all.
         | 
         | You at least have to say that much along with I'm OK.
         | 
         | The example is actually anti-communication.
         | 
         | It proves this itself by being the title, a curiosity-
         | triggering title. That is the result of too much withheld
         | context, and it's a thing that joke writers and newspaper
         | editors do consciously for exactly that effect.
         | 
         | If it were actually the best way to communicate this message,
         | it would be a less clickbaity title. You wouldn't feel as much
         | need for more info. "What the hell? Since when and why was your
         | OKness even in question? BULL???"
         | 
         | Article isn't as bad as the title claims it will be.
        
       | nmeofthestate wrote:
       | What I take away from this anecdote is that great, succinct
       | communication should leave you thinking "uh, wait, so WTF
       | happened??".
        
       | wesleyd wrote:
       | Dad, good news! The airbags work!
        
       | mhb wrote:
       | John was asked to watch Bob's family home while the family was on
       | vacation, included was the dog, the cat and Bob's Grandma.
       | 
       | After the first week, Bob called home and asked how things were
       | going. John replied "Everything is okay, except the cat died."
       | Bob says "Couldn't you be more diplomatic?" John asks "What do
       | you mean?" Bob replies "Well, if I ask how the cat is, say the
       | cat's on the roof" then the next time, you could tell me it died"
       | 
       | The next week, Bob calls, John answers and after a short
       | discussion, Bob asks how his Grandma is doing.
       | 
       | John replies "She's on the roof"
        
       | kvmet wrote:
       | I have a different but related rule for emails: Only one
       | important thing per email and it has to be as close to the top as
       | possible. If you're sending a list of questions, put them in
       | priority order and don't be surprised if only the first one gets
       | answered.
       | 
       | Also avoid making statements on anything debatable if focusing on
       | that will give them an excuse to ignore the rest. For example I
       | was talking to my doctor's office asking if they could move my
       | appointment to some time in the next two weeks rather than the
       | 15th (8 weeks away at the time). The response I got was, "Your
       | appointment is on the 12th." And then they stopped responding.
        
       | croes wrote:
       | Sound like the cow Elsa is dead.
       | 
       | https://youtu.be/TRZefNEfMgI
        
       | dkersten wrote:
       | In the four parts, surely "current status" is more important than
       | "punch line" and should come first?
       | 
       | As for the bull being dead, that seems like the least important
       | piece of information from that situation.
        
       | kimburgess wrote:
       | This form should be the default for any async comms.
       | 
       | Expressing the core statement up front allows proceeding content
       | to serve as an optional framing, if required. If the recipient
       | already has context they can skip the cruft.
       | 
       | This structure is mirrored in larger org settings that use
       | memo's. It's not a new idea, but definitely a well proven and
       | effective one.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | iandanforth wrote:
       | What happened with the bull?! The author undermines their thesis
       | by leaving the audience hanging. The interesting bits have all
       | been omitted. "James bond survived, foiled the villain's plot,
       | and got the girl" is not a movie. I would hate to have to work or
       | associate with someone who communicated like this.
        
         | ncallaway wrote:
         | Isn't the exact point that some things are... not a movie.
         | 
         | I don't think the author is proposing all communication should
         | be in this style. When you're telling a story, sure, it's fine
         | to keep people in suspense. But is suspense a tool you should
         | use to communicate to a loved one when you've been in an
         | accident?
         | 
         | Some work communications are more like the former and some are
         | more like the latter. But most of us default to the
         | narrative/suspenseful style 95% of the time.
         | 
         | But we should be more deliberate, and in some settings use the
         | inverted pyramid structure to eliminate suspense from our
         | communication.
        
           | [deleted]
        
           | hinkley wrote:
           | How many romcoms take 90 minutes to say "boys are dumb"?
        
         | throwaway201606 wrote:
         | Jumping in here since this has floated to to the top and I
         | responded to a similar comment below.
         | 
         | Felt strongly enough about this that I actually took the time
         | up write an actual literal paper letter (or maybe an email,
         | don't remember... but paper letter , stamp, walk 20 miles
         | uphill to post office works better for dramatic effect ) back
         | in 2004 to ask the question.
         | 
         | The question was asked in the magazine and the answer by Mr.
         | Kapur was published in the magazine.... but my google-fu cannot
         | find the answer he had posted back then...
         | 
         | Unfortunately, I don't remember the answer so the cliffhanger
         | continues.
         | 
         | https://www.computerworld.com/article/2567061/no-bull-approa...
        
           | throwaway201606 wrote:
           | OK, finally found the key words that let Google point me to
           | the comment with Mr. Kapur's response giving a fuller
           | explanation of what happened.
           | 
           | https://www.computerworld.com/article/2567290/no-more-
           | bull.a...
        
             | faitswulff wrote:
             | It seems the author's entire philosophy of communication is
             | at odds with mine.
             | 
             | Would it hurt to communicate what happened? No, it adds
             | important detail. Especially on a phone call, there's much
             | more bandwidth for explaining "I'm ok" without explicitly
             | saying it through tone of voice. As a parent, the bull
             | being dead is entirely irrelevant. So, "I hit a bull on the
             | way home but I'm fine" would have done the trick without
             | any annoying cliffhangers. Similarly for the author's lack
             | of explanation of what happened.
        
               | Cort3z wrote:
               | I disagree. "I'm fine, but I hit a bull on my way back
               | home" is infinitely better because at no point is there
               | any uncertainty about the condition of the person.
        
               | faitswulff wrote:
               | I don't think you're disagreeing to the extent that you
               | think you are because the original post says "I'm ok, the
               | bull is dead" like some sort of riddle.
               | 
               | Either way, the delivery on the phone is _not_ limited to
               | the order of the clauses, it 's also in the tone of
               | voice. Saying "I hit a bull" while sobbing conveys
               | something entirely different than calmly stating "I hit a
               | bull." Over the phone the entirety of the message can be
               | heard and the order matters less.
        
               | gardenhedge wrote:
               | If you improve your listening skills, it's the same
        
         | hn_throwaway_99 wrote:
         | > The author undermines their thesis by leaving the audience
         | hanging.
         | 
         | Kind of. I thought the original advice from the author's boss
         | at the top of the article (order of "punchline" with no
         | adjectives, then current status, then next steps, then
         | explanation) is great advice. The problem with the author's
         | telling of his son's story is he basically completely left out
         | step 4, the explanation.
         | 
         | I think the value in the original advice is not that any of the
         | steps is more important than the other, but doing them in that
         | order ensures you don't try to sugarcoat or obfuscate the
         | actual thing that happened: it forces the team to clearly
         | acknowledge the facts without bias.
         | 
         | But yeah, just telling the story without explanation is missing
         | a big part of the detail to actually understand what happened.
        
         | maweaver wrote:
         | I think it's pretty clear from context what happened... his son
         | was in a car accident where he hit a bull with the car, the
         | bull died, the car was damaged, and the son is fine. Yeah it's
         | not a James Bond movie plot but I think that's kind of his
         | point. Not every event needs to have an action-packed
         | narrative. Sometimes things happen and we need to convey the
         | state of things in a way that avoids causing a strong emotional
         | action, because that would distract from dealing with the
         | situation. It's pretty much the opposite of a movie, where the
         | the goal (generally) is to provoke an emotional reaction,
         | rather than convey information.
        
       | lwhi wrote:
       | This is all very well, but not providing us with the details of
       | why the bull was dead is just plain mean.
        
       | Scubabear68 wrote:
       | I have seen this style work really well when it is practiced in a
       | safe environment. By "safe", I mean everyone is striving for
       | transparency, you don't shoot the messenger, and you support each
       | other (not back stab).
       | 
       | This can go off the rails quickly if it collides with other
       | groups that are not as safe and have serious issues. In these
       | more common environments, successful people learn the delicate
       | balance of what to say, what not to say, and what order to say it
       | in.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | caeruleus wrote:
       | This succinct style of reporting reminds me of how surgeons are
       | taught to report on a patient (to colleagues):                 1.
       | name/age/gender       2. current problem (+ potentially relevant
       | preexisting condition)       3. relevant clinical/laboratory
       | findings       4. suspected cause       5. recommended actions
       | 6. If an operation is planned: general health assessment
       | (ASA)/allergies       7. prognosis/miscellaneous notes
       | 
       | As a rule of thumb, non-surgical medical professionals have a
       | similar framework, but will report more in-depth and less focused
       | on a singular logical path.
        
       | bryancoxwell wrote:
       | This is an incredibly weird way to interact with people outside
       | of work.
        
       | kylezgq wrote:
       | I'm curious about why an article from 2004, is being discussed by
       | so many people at this current point in time?
        
         | firefoxd wrote:
         | That's the beauty of writing a timeless article.
        
       | sailfast wrote:
       | Don't waste your time. Title is clickbait. Find the norms that
       | work for you and your team.
        
       | vander_elst wrote:
       | This might be also a cultural difference and might cause some
       | friction in the communication. If I remember correctly in general
       | in the US it is preferred the style "what; why" while in Europe
       | generally it is more "why; what". If the appropriate style works
       | it's not used you might be perceived arrogant or condescending.
       | Very high level generalization here but I think you get the
       | point.
        
         | 317070 wrote:
         | Yes, there is more on this in "The Culture Map" by Erin Meyer.
         | If I recall, it is not all of Europe that does that, but mainly
         | Latin Europe.
         | 
         | This is one of the things I learned moving to the UK working at
         | an American company. Lead with the conclusion, not the problem
         | statement.
         | 
         | The style I was more used to would say: "I am late because the
         | car got hit by a bull. I stepped out, took pictures, noticed
         | the bull was dead and someone local came to help out. The
         | police is underway. I am fine but will be a little later. No
         | need to worry."
        
       | Aeolun wrote:
       | Am I the only one that feels like this article misses the final
       | part? I need an explanation of how that bull died.
        
         | throwaway201606 wrote:
         | felt strongly enough about this that I sent them an actual
         | literal paper letter (or maybe an email, don't remember....)
         | back in 2004 to ask the question.
         | 
         | The question was asked in the magazine and the answer by Mr.
         | Kapur was published in the magazine.... but my google-fu cannot
         | find the answer he had posted back then...
         | 
         | Unfortunately, I don't remember the answer so the cliffhanger
         | continues.
         | 
         | https://www.computerworld.com/article/2567061/no-bull-approa...
        
           | Sprocklem wrote:
           | For completeness sake, throwaway201606 linked to the resonse
           | upthread: https://www.computerworld.com/article/2567290/no-
           | more-bull.a...
        
         | zidad wrote:
         | Definitely not the only one. What a cliffhanger. A punchline
         | without the actual joke.
        
       | bee_rider wrote:
       | It seems fine for, like, project status reports (right to the
       | point, very nice).
       | 
       | In life, I'm less sure. People tend to underplay their injuries
       | when talking to others, right? So in the case of "I'm OK, I got
       | in a car accident" "OK" could mean anything from "I'm totally
       | fine" to "I'm going to have lifelong back problems and legal
       | problems but I'm alive." Meanwhile "I'm OK, my girlfriend has
       | dumped me, want to go get a beer," the range of possibilities is
       | much lower.
       | 
       | And, if a person has decided to tell me that they are OK as the
       | first thing, then clearly something pretty bad has happened.
       | 
       | So, I think I'd prefer "I got in a little fender bender, but
       | nobody got hurt, I'm just going to be a little late."
        
       | throwaway_ab wrote:
       | I'm ok, no one else is hurt.
       | 
       | I hit a bull, the car is drivable but sustained damage.
       | 
       | The bull is dead.
        
       | BaculumMeumEst wrote:
       | Yeah, no. "I'm okay, the bull is dead", followed by "the car is
       | damaged but operable" is not an effective way to communicate what
       | happened. The goal of communication is not to force the other
       | party to fill in a bunch of blanks and solve a puzzle to
       | understand what you are talking about.
        
         | wittenbunk wrote:
         | But it is the quickest way to communicate the current state.
        
           | Talanes wrote:
           | "Car accident, I'm okay" is shorter and less vague.
        
           | gardenhedge wrote:
           | There was no rush though
        
         | scrollaway wrote:
         | It is, as a blog post, an effective way of communicating the
         | idea though (because it's very emotionally charged).
         | 
         | I read this earlier today, liked it, and had a bit of fridge
         | logic since. Obviously it's dumb to communicate a datapoint
         | upfront when you don't bring it up again at all and follow up
         | with "details later". But it's still very present in my mind
         | because "the bull is dead" is so catchy.
         | 
         | I'm a big fan of BLUF (bottom line upfront) when writing emails
         | and this is an extension of that.
        
         | [deleted]
        
       | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
       | I really like that!
       | 
       | When I worked for a Japanese company, we submitted weekly reports
       | in "QCD" form (Quality, Cost, Deliverable).
       | 
       | I like this format better.
        
       | pflenker wrote:
       | This reminds me of the following: Of fictional crime
       | investigators, mrs Marple collects all the clues and then invites
       | everyone to the Great Summation at the end to reveal the
       | murderer. Episodes of Inspector Columbo start with the very act
       | of murder, and the perpetrator is clearly visible. We then follow
       | Columbo collecting clues and discovering the motive.
       | 
       | We tend to be like Mrs Marple when we should be more like
       | Columbo.
        
         | steve_g wrote:
         | "We should be more like Columbo" is a great general rule for
         | life.
        
         | maxboone wrote:
         | The Pyramid Principle is one of the (few) things emerged from
         | McKinsey that I believe in.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | firefoxd wrote:
       | A lot of people ask about the bull. But if you take it as a
       | metaphor for status update, it does translate well.
       | 
       | Whether he explains the situation about the bull or not, does not
       | matter, the next action is to have someone pick him up. That's
       | the only thing they can do. The bull story is just extra
       | information.
       | 
       | In the status update, when my devs tell me the new api failed, my
       | role is to check the results and figure out if we need an
       | alternative. The product owner and scrum master do not need to
       | know those results, in fact they can move on to the next status
       | update. The person who can help is informed.
       | 
       | The challenges I face in a daily stand up are:
       | 
       | 1. The developer trying to over explain their current situation.
       | 
       | 2. The non devs asking questions trying to fully understand a
       | situation that is irrelevant to them. i.e. why is the bull dead.
       | 
       | 3. The dev keeping their mouth shut for fear of being
       | interrogated.
        
         | another-dave wrote:
         | > The non devs asking questions trying to fully understand a
         | situation that is irrelevant to them. i.e. why is the bull
         | dead.
         | 
         | That kinda shows that it isn't a good metaphor, because if the
         | bull is irrelevant & dragging people off on a tangent it
         | shouldn't be mentioned at all
        
         | kouru225 wrote:
         | Ngl sounds like it's really boring to work there. No one ever
         | learns from other sections? That's boring.
        
       | marginalia_nu wrote:
       | I think in a wider sense this is good for writing as well. A lot
       | of texts (including the linked one) start with some elaborate yet
       | tangential anecdote and then takes a meandering path toward some
       | conclusion.
       | 
       | I prefer to open with a single sentence that captures what I want
       | to say, longer than the title but very much self-contained, and
       | then to elaborate on why that is. It both serves to capture the
       | reader and to turn away readers that weren't interested anyway.
        
       | photonerd wrote:
       | The irony here is that the authors example doesn't fit his
       | system.
       | 
       | The bull is completely irrelevant. It's a root cause of _the car
       | damage_.
       | 
       | Should have been: "I am OK. The car is not." and continued from
       | there.
        
         | mattkrause wrote:
         | Or even "I am OK, but I need a ride home."
        
       | unosama wrote:
       | "The bull is dead" is completely useless information. This story
       | seems to be an example of poor parenting to me...
       | 
       | There is a time and place for conveying information quickly and
       | concisely, and there is a time and a place for storytelling and
       | human connection. Seems the latter has been lost on this child's
       | upbringing.
        
         | bastawhiz wrote:
         | I mean, is it useless? You crash your car into a bull in the
         | road. Your okay. The car is damaged. The bull is dead.
         | 
         | The receiver of the information in this case already knew
         | something was wrong. The most important detail came first: I'm
         | okay. Nothing wrong with this.
         | 
         | Some folks might say the second most important piece of
         | information is "the car is damaged" but really it doesn't
         | matter. One might wonder how damaged. This detail doesn't
         | reinforce the first piece of information. And the extent of the
         | damage is important at that moment.
         | 
         | "The bull is dead" might seem unimportant, but it gets across
         | the worst outcome from what's transpired. And in fact, it
         | implies that the car is damaged. Maybe more relatable if you're
         | in North America: if your child called you and says "I'm okay,
         | but the deer is dead" that actually does a perfect job of
         | summarizing exactly what happened. It's an unusual situation
         | that a bull got hit by a car, but it's plausible.
         | 
         | When you've been in an accident, trying to explain everything
         | over the phone often isn't the best thing to do, especially if
         | the authorities are trying to take a statement or you're
         | getting your vehicle towed. Arguably, it's bad parenting to
         | dwell on really any other details besides "where are you?" or
         | "do you need anything?"
         | 
         | Like I'm really struggling to think of another thing the kid
         | could have said that would have been more efficient or would
         | have made the outcome better. "The bull is dead" leaves you
         | with questions but frankly none of the questions really matter,
         | and the information that it conveys is exactly what I'd want to
         | get across.
        
       | pluijzer wrote:
       | I learned to communicate like this from an early age. My
       | otherwise lovely father could get angry quickly when he made a
       | premature conclusion from what I was telling. I would for example
       | say, 'I went to my friends and they were all smoking'. He would
       | get angry because he concluded I also smoked and I wouldn't be
       | able to convince him of the opposite until he calmed down. So I
       | got into the habits of telling stories like; 'I didn't smoke,
       | when I say my friends they did though.' and all would be well.
       | 
       | Like in the article I communicate on my status in the same way.
       | Though I am not really convinced it is some positive character
       | trait. It seems more like a anxiety problem. With the example of
       | the article I would find it much more normal, and useful, to say.
       | 'I hit a bull, I am okay, the bull is not'.
        
         | smeej wrote:
         | I do this with my mom because of how much she worries.
         | 
         | A couple years ago, I sent her a message, "I'm OK, but I think
         | I just totaled my car. Would you please come to [location of
         | accident]? I'm going to need a ride home."
         | 
         | She still freaked out, because she does, but I really did only
         | have some bruising, and I did, in fact, total the car.
        
         | ilyt wrote:
         | Except this example is a terrible way to implement it unless
         | you want to play it for a joke.
         | 
         | "I'm ok, the car is not" would've communicated relevant
         | information without followup. The bull is less important part.
         | 
         | > Like in the article I communicate on my status in the same
         | way. Though I am not really convinced it is some positive
         | character trait. It seems more like a anxiety problem.
         | 
         | I like that type of communication because it is very useful in
         | emergency (whether actual one, or just some app at work not
         | working).
         | 
         | I think it also generally produces less of an anxiety because
         | starting with the bad can immediately make the other site start
         | to speculate the worst
         | 
         | > With the example of the article I would find it much more
         | normal, and useful, to say. 'I hit a bull, I am okay, the bull
         | is not'.
         | 
         | Exactly. Much better way to say that.
         | 
         | "Data is safe, it's not a breach, we're being DDoSed", instead
         | of "we're having a massive DDoS on our services affecting X y
         | and Z, but we don't suspect any data breach or data loss".
        
           | DanHulton wrote:
           | The bull is, from the viewpoint of the kid in the accident, I
           | think the most ingenious part.
           | 
           | "I'm okay, the car is not" communicates the most-relevant
           | information, sure but at that point, Dad can start
           | immediately getting upset about the car.
           | 
           | "I'm okay, the bull is not" presents Dad with a mystery,
           | delays the onset of anger, and likely lowers the peak of
           | anger, as the fun of unravelling an interesting and unique
           | mystery probably takes up some of that mental energy.
           | 
           | In an office setting, yeah, you ideally have enough trust and
           | safety to be able to disclose bad news without needing to
           | worry about upsetting people (though frequently not,
           | honestly). Families are... different. Even in "perfect"
           | families, and especially for a situation like this, there's
           | no "blameless postmortems", no "five whys", etc. Kid crashed
           | the car. Kid should not have crashed the car. There's a
           | direct line of responsibility. So being able to deflect a bit
           | of that anger and upset is, frankly, ingenious.
        
             | ilyt wrote:
             | > "I'm okay, the bull is not" presents Dad with a mystery,
             | delays the onset of anger, and likely lowers the peak of
             | anger, as the fun of unravelling an interesting and unique
             | mystery probably takes up some of that mental energy.
             | 
             | No, it sounds annoying and tiring to deal with that kind of
             | riddle-speech.
             | 
             | If your parent has anger issues it would just result in
             | something like "what fucking bull, what the fuck did you
             | do?", not some riddle mystery game you think...
        
             | vGPU wrote:
             | Indeed. Presenting the bull immediately creates a visual
             | mythos w/ assumptions of some Herculean efforts.
             | 
             | "Dad, I wrecked the car" is much more likely to be answered
             | [non-verbally] with regrets about not paying for
             | contraception.
        
             | gardenhedge wrote:
             | Confusing two people in the middle of the night with a
             | short sentence is considered genius?
             | 
             | From what I can see, the situation was communicated very
             | poorly.
        
         | brazzy wrote:
         | The specific example is indeed not that great in terms of
         | communicating clearly, given how it begs an obvious, if
         | nonessential question. Works well as click bait, of course.
         | 
         | But the basic idea is sound and useful.
         | 
         | Putting the most important fact first makes it much easier for
         | the audience to understand the context and explanations that
         | follow, and stop you when you're going on a tangent.
         | 
         | A problem that I see very often in communication is that people
         | start out by giving long-winded context, and I'm left thinking
         | "what is the point of telling me this?", unable to judge which
         | of it is important and relevant to me.
        
           | [deleted]
        
           | Brian_K_White wrote:
           | That most significant byte first is only good in the context
           | that the receiver already knows what they are expecting and
           | waiting for. It's perhaps good update in an exising
           | communication. It's not good communication in general or when
           | opening a new context.
        
             | Brian_K_White wrote:
             | Though, maybe not. Opening a new context still wants some
             | kind of summary opener.
             | 
             | If your message is short, you might just say it.
             | 
             | But if your message is even slightly long, you probably
             | start with a heads up what the overall gist and point will
             | be. "I have a question." rather than just the question. Or
             | "Accounting just told us we have to..." and _then_ all the
             | stuff Accounting said and what you have do do about it.
             | 
             | Are those openers the most significant bit or the filler?
             | 
             | Definitely "I'm OK" or "You have to turn in your laptop."
             | is absolutely the wrong way to start. It's even like going
             | out of your way to find the worst possible choice out of
             | all the bits in a particular situation. Random order would
             | be better.
             | 
             | So maybe it's not wrong to start with the most important
             | part, but the definition of most important part is
             | apparently up for grabs.
        
           | thrawa8387336 wrote:
           | This is what consultants get taught when communicating to
           | executives. Start by your conclusion/most important idea then
           | support it
        
             | oxygen_crisis wrote:
             | Even in lower-stakes communication it's a good practice, I
             | figured this out early in my career when I was doing tech
             | support.
             | 
             | In e-mails, I noticed a lot of customers didn't register
             | much beyond the first couple sentences. Or they would react
             | to some point of curiosity or contention about the
             | explanation without taking the steps forward or providing
             | the information we were asking for.
             | 
             | In real-time conversations it meant the machines were idle
             | during the explanation of why we were going to do the next
             | step, when often there would be plenty of time to explain
             | why while we were in the process. (In the days of dial-up
             | and RAM measured in megs instead of gigs, even "open a
             | browser and go to our website" could take a minute)
             | 
             | It's a huge time-saver. You want that little excerpt in a
             | pop-up mail notification to have the call to action
             | displayed. Especially when you need them to take ten
             | seconds to provide some information. Seeing the call to
             | action immediately might bump you up in their multitasking
             | queue whereas they're more likely to sit on it if they see
             | the opening sentence of some exposition pop up.
        
           | marcosdumay wrote:
           | Put the conclusion first and people will assume the context,
           | stop reading, and blame all of their assumptions on you.
           | 
           | Put the context first and people will assume the conclusion,
           | stop reading, and blame all of their assumptions on you.
           | 
           | It's just a matter of deciding what is worse.
        
         | hinkley wrote:
         | It always pissed me off in movies where there's a communication
         | medium the characters supposedly are experienced with and the
         | most important part of their communication gets chopped off.
         | They never repeat themselves. Terrible, terrible writing.
         | 
         | One of the things I appreciate about Contact. When Ellie's
         | radio becomes mostly static she just repeats that she's ready
         | to launch, in a loop until they do.
         | 
         | Your typical schlocky movie? "CHHHZZZK is the killer! I found
         | Sarah's body. Don't trust him!" "Do you think they heard me?
         | Hopefully he is t killing them now."
        
           | pbhjpbhj wrote:
           | >"Hopefully he is t killing them now."
           | 
           | I like the active example of your point ...
        
           | jasonjmcghee wrote:
           | There's also the way overused, "just blindly trust me- I'm
           | not giving you any information just because" (which is
           | critical missing information the plot depends on being
           | unknown) or the argument "<here's my clearly incorrect
           | perspective of what happened> right??? pauses, storms out"
           | and the mc just doesn't say anything or try to correct the
           | misunderstanding, which the plot is built on.
           | 
           | Communication breakdown feels so tired
        
             | jonhohle wrote:
             | It's actually a pretty contemporary theme, but I agree not
             | a good plot device: accuse someone of something and attempt
             | to discredit them in the process before they can defend
             | themselves, get their employer/social media
             | company/affiliated parties to terminate their relationship,
             | watch as they rebuild their live's from rubble when as
             | accusations are proven false.
        
         | bonoboTP wrote:
         | Sounds very similar to how academics write with a similar
         | anxiety to the future reviewer, trying hard not to get
         | dismissed and pigeonholed too early on before they even read
         | and understood the paper. It's one thing to defend your idea
         | against obvious but incorrect angles of criticism, but this is
         | not always enough and you need to order your sentences in the
         | correct way and be mindful of what "buttons you will push" on
         | the reviewer where they will switch off and go off track to
         | some easy dismissal. It really is an art to do this well and
         | it's not just the hard science skill of making the
         | contribution. You must be able to sell and frame it in just the
         | right way.
        
           | jancsika wrote:
           | Academia sounds very similar to writing pull requests on a
           | large project, or working retail, waiting tables, serving on
           | a Church board, going to court, teaching a master class,
           | interacting with strangers, and growing up in a large family.
        
             | bonoboTP wrote:
             | Am I detecting sarcasm here? Is your point that I shouldn't
             | have brough up academia because it's too specific and
             | actually the thing I talk about happens in every facet of
             | our lives and not just academia?
        
           | hinkley wrote:
           | I think it's more than this. I've seen several Wikis grow to
           | the point of uselessness from lack of curation combined with
           | lack of "executive summaries". Before this I thought
           | executive summaries were for Peter principled idiots whose
           | ties were cutting off oxygen flow. It felt infantilizing
           | having to be asked to add them.
           | 
           | What I experienced and others complained about was the
           | situation where I know we have a document about X. I can't
           | remember what it's called, I thought it was "Y" but I read
           | the whole thing and it's not there. Now I'm clicking on
           | random things seeing if I can find it. I don't want to read
           | eight people's life stories. I'm trying to keep the details
           | of my task in my head.
           | 
           | Start every page with "where are you and why should you care"
           | and that problem starts to evaporate.
           | 
           | With scientists you have people who go through a lot of
           | papers every year. No one paper stands out that much. So I
           | can see how they'd run into the exact same problem.
        
             | bonoboTP wrote:
             | This is extremely hard though. It's not just some wave your
             | magic wand around, or ask people to not be lazy anymore or
             | something. Distilling knowledge, understanding where
             | readers may be coming, seeing the big picture and keeping
             | track of different moving parts, remembering and
             | documenting their histories, all this is real work, real
             | cognitive effort of the highest sort, on par with
             | developing the newest feature or migrating to a new
             | solution or whatever is seen as the "meat" of the work, as
             | opposed to this type of lower-status "meta" work of just
             | documenting. Often, "writing docs" is seen as junior work,
             | something easy. Some parts are of course more
             | straightforward, but a lot of it is very serious work that
             | is underappreciated. And it's a vicious cycle: as long as
             | documentation and technical writing is undervalued, smart
             | rational actors in the company will just do the bare
             | minimum of it and do something more visible and flashy that
             | people do appreciate.
             | 
             | ----
             | 
             | Also, I've seen internal wikis and the issue is that they
             | tend to go stale, and people are afraid of removing
             | information, and some people just don't know how to use a
             | wiki and will start using it as a message board or like a
             | Wikipedia talk page and add stuff like "Note by Joe: I'm
             | not sure the above is still correct since the migration to
             | XYZ. Alice should check this part", things not deleted but
             | crossed out with strikethrough style, because "what if it
             | will still be useful" (they don't understand the page
             | history concept) etc. So it becomes a dump of horrible
             | mixture of outdated and up-to-date info, where an
             | experienced employee will tell you "oh it's in the wiki,
             | just check it", then you go back to them that you can't
             | find it or you found contradictory info and they tell you
             | "ah, of course, you should ignore the page on bla bla, we
             | should remove it soon, for this kind of thing you need to
             | check the other page, and even though it says on top that
             | it's 'outdated', actually _this_ part is still valid ".
             | 
             | The "curse of knowledge" is also very difficult to get rid
             | of. It's really really hard to know where the reader is
             | coming from. And what may be obvious and over-explained for
             | one reader may feel like not enough detail or confusing to
             | another.
        
               | hinkley wrote:
               | I use a B tree strategy on wikis:
               | 
               | As time progresses, the most relevant topic _areas_ for
               | the project consume the main page, and over time
               | specifics get pushed down to subtopics and sub-subtopics.
               | Anything that hasn 't been touched in a long time is
               | prioritized for moving down. If something has been
               | sitting at the bottom of the tree for a long time and
               | looks wrong, it might be time to delete it. But in the
               | meantime you've made it harder to find. Once a page
               | sprouts too many links it's time to halve it and push
               | some of them down one level. Good activity for a Thursday
               | or Friday afternoon when you've fixed a major bug and
               | don't want to start anything new.
               | 
               | The guys who need to toot their own horn want to put four
               | links onto the main page. For some reason those scenarios
               | live rent-free in my thoughts on Wikis. Probably because
               | I was formulating this theory while working with one of
               | them.
        
               | bloopernova wrote:
               | Hmm. That is an interesting idea, thank you for sharing
               | it.
               | 
               | We currently just have a big list of pages in
               | alphabetical order after a short blurb.
               | 
               | I'll need to figure out a new list order to implement.
               | Hmm. Thanks for giving me something cool to think about!
        
           | chasd00 wrote:
           | All of this applies to writing RFP responses too. I try to
           | communicate the art to content authors during review, the
           | ones who actually get it (or at least care enough to even
           | try) write winning responses and end up with $$$ in their
           | pocket.
        
         | danparsonson wrote:
         | > Like in the article I communicate on my status in the same
         | way. Though I am not really convinced it is some positive
         | character trait.
         | 
         | From what you've described, it sounds to me like a coping
         | strategy for dealing with an (edit: occasionally?) abusive
         | parent. It may have some utility in your adult life though -
         | that's the positive character trait of making the best of what
         | you have :-)
        
           | throwoutway wrote:
           | > dealing with an (edit: occasionally?) abusive parent.
           | 
           | Its unfounded to call their parent abusive without more
           | information
        
             | danparsonson wrote:
             | You're right that I am responding to very limited
             | information, and of course everyone is fully at liberty to
             | ignore my opinion.
             | 
             | That said, how would you describe a person (particularly a
             | caregiver) who causes others to walk on eggshells because
             | of their random unfounded outbursts, and refuses to back
             | down when given reasonable explanations for the things they
             | have become upset about? And not just once or twice but
             | often enough that it has had a measurable effect on OP's
             | behaviour. That sounds abusive to me.
             | 
             | Again though, as you pointed out, it's not appropriate for
             | me to continue to speculate on this; I just wanted to
             | elaborate on my original comment to make clear my
             | reasoning.
        
               | ilyt wrote:
               | "A man that doesn't want his kid to get into
               | alcohol/drugs and worries too much" ? That's pretty far
               | from abusive
        
               | danparsonson wrote:
               | It should not be up to a child to deal with their
               | parents' stresses and worries. A parent's job is to guide
               | and instruct, not to terrify.
               | 
               | 'I was worried' is an excuse, not a reason.
        
               | bonoboTP wrote:
               | Someone in the age bracket where many of their peers are
               | already smoking needs to learn some valuable skills in
               | how to present their case. At 16-17, they are not exactly
               | "a child".
               | 
               | That said, it can be incredibly frustrating to talk to
               | people (e.g. parents) whose style of thinking is to
               | _guess_ based on very limited information and then
               | sincerely believe and stick to that guess as if it was
               | brought down by Moses on clay tablets. I know such
               | people, and it 's not even just personal topics, but
               | discussing any story in the news or any rumor they
               | overheard, they immediately paint some picture in their
               | head, fill in the blanks based on a guess, follow a chain
               | of reasoning absurdly far without proper evidence,
               | working themselves up in the process, and then they are
               | utterly unreceptive to any alternative explanations. So
               | yes, I agree this is bad and we should try to listen till
               | the end, defer judgment, be comfortable with "I don't
               | know the details, so I don't have a well-founded opinion
               | here" etc. But such meta-cognition and reflection on
               | one's own beliefs don't come naturally to all, and they
               | may have been punished for it in the past, it being seen
               | as a kind of indecisive unconfident weakness, so they
               | cultivate a persona that must _always_ know, must always
               | have an opinion and a definite view on everything.
               | 
               | This may not always rise to the level of actual "abuse"
               | and indeed your knee-jerk pattern-matching response to
               | label it as such is ironically itself an example of
               | imagining all the details and condemning a person in the
               | story you know nothing about. Maybe OP should have
               | frontloaded a bunch of disclaimers like "I'm on great
               | terms with my parents and we love each other, but there
               | are some frustrating aspects in our communications, but
               | we are doing our best to meet in the middle. That said,
               | here's a story:", so that you don't jump to conclusions.
        
               | danparsonson wrote:
               | Thank you - point taken.
        
               | lifeisstillgood wrote:
               | I think it's worth mentioning that you seem to be in an
               | argument that I see again and again. I am mostly on your
               | side here - it is not for the child to work around the
               | parent and this is a sea chnage in (western?) psychology
               | that is filtering through to even idiots like me. And yea
               | it is part of the culture war we are (always) going
               | through.
               | 
               | So yes, we need to up the game on parenting and personal
               | responsibility- it's going to be a tough ride as we find
               | out just how bad most of our families are - but the
               | upside is good too.
               | 
               | However I think we need to also find different words -
               | abuse is a strong term. And most of the reaction I think
               | you are getting here is reaction to specific words as
               | opposed to your philosophy
        
               | danparsonson wrote:
               | Thank you, yes I think you're right - an unfortunate
               | choice of word on my part it seems.
        
             | porknubbins wrote:
             | If you had the same type of parent you can read between the
             | lines (possibly wrongly but its better to be over
             | sensitized than miss it) to see the narcissism or abuse. A
             | stable parent would say "I trust my child who I raised and
             | will hear the whole story", while the abuse parent is
             | having some kind of fear or anger response triggered that
             | is all about them and their emotions and they kind of stop
             | paying attention to whatever else you say.
        
               | danparsonson wrote:
               | Indeed. Some things that education and hindsight has made
               | obvious, can be impossible to see when they are all
               | around, and even for years afterwards.
        
             | tough wrote:
             | Psychologically?
             | 
             | I dunno man, if you as a kid have to come up with
             | strategies to -not piss off- your dad during -normal-
             | regular conversation, maybe there's an issue there?
             | 
             | Maybe the dad had some issues too, who knows
        
               | at_a_remove wrote:
               | I will go further: If someone cannot wait until the
               | completion of a sentence to get ticked off, they have
               | problems.
        
               | brookst wrote:
               | I think it's just semantics of whether "abuse" requires
               | intent. If yes, then the commenters parent was probably
               | not abusive. If not and only the behavior matters without
               | regard for intent or psychology, then it does seem
               | abusive.
        
               | danparsonson wrote:
               | For what it's worth, I am certainly in the second camp -
               | in general (without reference to this specific example),
               | it's certainly possible for people to behave abusively
               | towards others without even realising that they're doing
               | it. One can be responding to internal pressures without
               | thought for how those responses affect those around them.
        
               | tough wrote:
               | Obliviousness to how your actions affect others do not
               | make those actions disappear.
        
               | danparsonson wrote:
               | Yes that's my point - behaviour can be abusive regardless
               | of whether or not the perpetrator intended or even
               | noticed it.
        
               | tough wrote:
               | Yes I was agreeing with you.
               | 
               | Im on your camp.
        
           | llm_nerd wrote:
           | Every human on the planet is "abusive" by that measure.
           | Including, with certainty, you.
           | 
           | The father sounds anxious and protective. Child figured out a
           | hack, as we _all_ figure out hacks to optimize our
           | interactions with other people (all of them imperfect), to
           | avoid that diversion, and life goes on happily. Calling the
           | father  "abusive" is honestly grotesque, and it is the sort
           | of petty, detached-from-reality moralizing that leads to
           | everyone hiding any real world details lest they get the
           | boorish, cliched response.
           | 
           | It's akin to the sort of over the top, rush-to-conclusion
           | relationship advice common online.
           | 
           | "My husband forgot a McDonalds drink cup in my car last week
           | and now it started leaking out of the bottom!"
           | 
           | "Abusive! Manipulative! Gaslighting! Lawyer up, hit the gym
           | and divorce his ass!"
        
             | danparsonson wrote:
             | > ...we all figure out hacks...
             | 
             | "Hack"/"Maladaptive coping strategy" - pot-ay-to/pot-ah-to
             | 
             | With respect, I'm not sure there's a middle ground for us
             | to meet in here, and I don't have anything to add beyond
             | what I've written elsewhere.
        
           | bluepizza wrote:
           | This careless comment hit me a bit hard.
           | 
           | I grew up with two abusive parents. You have no idea of what
           | that is like. There is no communication adaptation that saves
           | you from the abuse. They will fly off the handle because they
           | want to, and they will find a reason, even if there is none.
           | The coping strategy is to avoid and keep away.
           | 
           | OP sounds like they had a short tempered but caring parent.
           | The situation was alleviated by their adaptation. We all have
           | our weaknesses and strengths, and I am quite sure OP's parent
           | is not the only human to be quick to judge. After all, look
           | at your own comment :)
           | 
           | Don't make being a fallible human something bad. We need to
           | tolerate each other's flaws, and compromise towards each
           | other.
        
             | danparsonson wrote:
             | Let me open by saying: I'm so sorry to hear about your
             | experiences, and for evidently triggering some bad memories
             | for you. And please understand that I mean no harm when, in
             | response to:
             | 
             | > ...I grew up with two abusive parents. You have no idea
             | of what that is like...
             | 
             | ...I reply - how can you make any assertion about what I
             | know? I haven't said anything about my own childhood. Abuse
             | is a harsh word but it's not a yes or no question; there
             | are shades of abusiveness. What you went through sounds
             | awful, and I certainly don't mean to diminish that, but
             | please don't thereby suggest that others who have suffered
             | less, have not suffered at all. Even mild psychological
             | abuse can have far-reaching consequences, and I'm sorry
             | that I will not elaborate, but I do have some relevant
             | knowledge and experience about this subject.
             | 
             | > Don't make being a fallible human something bad. We need
             | to tolerate each other's flaws, and compromise towards each
             | other.
             | 
             | I agree, the world needs more genuine compassion - I
             | intended, at least, to send some compassion towards the OP
             | - but from the original post I don't agree that 'fallible'
             | adequately covers it. That's only my opinion though, and as
             | another commenter pointed out, based on incomplete
             | information.
        
               | bluepizza wrote:
               | It's not about you, though. It is about OP, and the story
               | they shared. Your comments are turning the narrative
               | towards you - I believe accidentally, because I don't
               | believe you meant to hijack the thread. But that's what
               | you are doing, unfortunately.
               | 
               | You don't have to justify or alleviate your views. It's
               | all good conversation. But let's keep the focus on OP,
               | and let's not make very, very persistent commentary on
               | their parent's behavior.
        
               | danparsonson wrote:
               | You're right, of course - that is not my intent.
        
       | xwdv wrote:
       | I don't think you really owe people anything to put the punchline
       | first like this. Sure it helps ease some people's anxiety, but
       | there have been times where I've purposely taken an opposite
       | approach, meandering through various vivid details, dropping some
       | callbacks and winding up a story's tension to the point where
       | people were on the edge of their seat waiting to hear what
       | finally happened. Maybe it's sociopathic to prey on emotions this
       | way.
        
         | passion__desire wrote:
         | > Maybe it's sociopathic to prey on emotions this way.
         | 
         | This is why greeks practised Rhetorics. Remarking on the
         | practice, one philosopher said the exact same thing. He said,
         | "You are using people's emotions to weigh in as against the
         | facts of the case."
        
       | wodenokoto wrote:
       | > I was greatly impressed by Raj's succinct way of giving me the
       | right information in the right detail without going into
       | unnecessary explanations.
       | 
       | Did he though?
       | 
       | "I'm okay" is a good start, but then maybe "there has been an
       | accident", followed by "the car is fine" or "I hit/got hit by a
       | bull, which is now dead".
        
         | nathell wrote:
         | Yeah. You need to form a graph of pieces of information where
         | edges are 'X is a prerequisite for Y' (or 'without X, Y makes
         | no sense'), and sort that topologically.
        
         | tpoacher wrote:
         | He never said "I got hit by a bull"
         | 
         | It could be the case that he crashed into a farm and killed a
         | bull and now the farmer is about to kill him with a shotgun.
         | 
         | Which according to the author is secondary information.
        
         | 0xBA5ED wrote:
         | Yes, the anecdote is not a good example. "The bull is dead" is
         | tragic but irrelevant. It would be like "Milestone 4 missed.
         | Joel is gone". Who's Joel? Is he on vacation? Did he quit? Was
         | he fired for causing the missed milestone? Is he dead?
        
         | Wowfunhappy wrote:
         | Agreed. Personally, I would have gone for:
         | 
         | > "I'm OK, my car hit a bull."
         | 
         | What happened to the bull isn't the most important information;
         | the author wants to know why his son didn't come home. Saying
         | "the bull is dead" kind of answers that question, but only via
         | inference ("oh, the bull must have been killed by his car"),
         | which is why the father was initially confused.
         | 
         | And then "the" should be "a" because the bull hasn't been
         | introduced yet.
        
         | mrkeen wrote:
         | It's fine.
         | 
         | The shorter the first sentence is, the sooner you can move onto
         | the second sentence.
         | 
         | Neither party expected the conversation to end after "the bull
         | is dead".
        
         | KnobbleMcKnees wrote:
         | No he didn't, it was needlessly confusing and the fact that it
         | introduced uninformed and unresolved intrigue for him and his
         | wife goes entirely against the point he was trying to make. The
         | reason being that: context is everything. When we structure a
         | project status report this way, context is high and the
         | audience desires new information over and above further context
         | unless the balance changes.
         | 
         | Starting with "I'm okay" was the right thing to do in context:
         | an unexpected call from a child at an ominous time of day is
         | the context, and knowledge of their safety is therefore
         | paramount. But following it with a riddle about bulls is
         | useless nonsense in the same context.
         | 
         | Putting that aside, I didnt really appreciate this either:
         | 
         | >Though a bit angry
         | 
         | Angry at your son for being in a car accident? Was this before
         | or after finding out the reason for the accident? Where is this
         | context and why isn't it provided in the same structure you
         | _just outlined_ several paragraphs earlier?
        
         | aftergibson wrote:
         | Maybe this is a cultural difference but I find this method of
         | communication very confusing. Without context "the bull is
         | dead" is so useless as to be meaningless. I'm OK and safe,
         | there's been a car accident, I am at this location, there's no
         | rush. This the most important and actionable detail for a
         | parent. Bulls and their mortal status are irrelevant. This just
         | reads like two robots trying to sound succinct but failing to
         | communicate. Again might be a cultural difference.
        
           | crazygringo wrote:
           | No it's not cultural, it's a truly terrible example.
           | 
           | It's actual quite ironic that a blog post about emphasizing
           | clear purposeful communication, uses a main example that is
           | anything but.
           | 
           | "The bull is dead" is indeed totally meaningless and
           | irrelevant here. Assuming nobody else was harmed, the status
           | of the car is the next important thing here.
        
           | WesolyKubeczek wrote:
           | > Bulls and their mortal status are irrelevant.
           | 
           | But it's India where they are pretty big on bovines in
           | general and their mortal status in particular.
        
             | lolinder wrote:
             | Is it India? The author was residing in California at the
             | time of writing and the bull was a Texas longhorn [0].
             | Given those details and the fact that the author didn't
             | bother specifying India as the location (even though he was
             | writing for an American magazine), I would assume the
             | United States as the location.
             | 
             | [0] https://www.computerworld.com/article/2567290/no-more-
             | bull.a...
        
           | pfannkuchen wrote:
           | > Without context "the bull is dead" is so useless as to be
           | meaningless.
           | 
           | It's possibly because you live in a location where bulls
           | wandering on the road doesn't ever happen, and where the
           | author lives it does happen?
           | 
           | If, for example, the call was instead "I'm okay, the deer is
           | dead", I wouldn't find it confusing at all.
        
           | bee_rider wrote:
           | Using "the" in this case almost seems (probably
           | unintentionally) misleading or confusing. It is a definite
           | article, it implies that there's a particular bull that we're
           | talking about. Since there isn't a bull already introduced in
           | the conversation, I think most people would begin searching
           | their memory for a bull that both parties are familiar with.
           | It is discombobulating.
        
           | gostsamo wrote:
           | Quite agree. The example given is bad because we don't know
           | about the bull and we don't care about it. Lots more, we are
           | not given the final details about the accident, so the report
           | looks rather incomplete at the end.
        
             | piecerough wrote:
             | The example is brilliant and leaving it hanging for the
             | reader is the intended purpose (e.g. a far-away third-party
             | like me reading a team's report doesn't have a reason to
             | care past that)
        
             | philipswood wrote:
             | The example is good storytelling, but bad reporting.
             | 
             | When telling a story you want to introduce the maximum
             | meaningful uncertainty into your telling to attract the
             | listener into listening attentively to try to resolve it.
             | 
             | "The bull is dead." immediately introduces clearly
             | important information that tells the listener they need to
             | focus, but at the same time makes it clear that more
             | context is needed. i.e the subtext is "listen up important
             | details to follow".
             | 
             | For status reporting you want to allow the listener to stop
             | as soon as possible to free up his/her/its limited
             | management focus "bandwidth".
             | 
             | "I was in an accident, but I'm fine" would fit his paradigm
             | better. (But would make a less notable/memorable story)
        
         | j_french wrote:
         | To be fair to Raj (the guy who had just accidentally killed a
         | bull), from his perspective "the bull is dead" is a very
         | important part of the story.
         | 
         | It's maybe a question of perspective. His ability to consider
         | his parents' perspective might have been somewhat limited by
         | the fact that he was 17, it was late at night and he'd just
         | been in a car crash which resulted in the death of a bull.
         | 
         | I think he did a great job and it's a great story. Glad to hear
         | he's ok, he's lucky! RIP the bull though :(
        
           | wodenokoto wrote:
           | I didn't mean to criticize the kid, although I can see how it
           | came out as such.
           | 
           | I'm criticizing the dads ability to showcase a great example
           | of the "right information in the right detail without going
           | into unnecessary explanations."
           | 
           | And I think a big part of the authors choice of example is
           | exactly because it is "tantalizing" - it piques your
           | curiosity because there isn't enough information to make
           | sense of the situation.
        
         | Spooky23 wrote:
         | Dad isn't an insurance adjuster.
         | 
         | The point of the whole piece is to just get to the point. How
         | the bull met his fate is a story, but who cares. All dad needs
         | to know is _Raj is fine._
        
           | pseudalopex wrote:
           | Why mention the bull at all then?
        
             | another-dave wrote:
             | Exactly -- by front loading the bull, it's saying that this
             | is the next most important bit of info after "I'm OK"
        
       | Brian_K_White wrote:
       | "You have to turn in your laptop."
       | 
       | Way better than "IT is upgrading everyone."
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | elihu wrote:
       | That sounds like an interesting and useful technique, but he
       | never gets around to explaining how the bull dies.
        
         | kebman wrote:
         | That's a great observation. Though on the other hand, you can
         | probably deduce that it was some kind of accident involving the
         | car. Which begs the question; what happened to the car, which
         | might even be more important than the fact that the bull dies.
         | This question is of course answered, but IMHO not very well,
         | and while leaving out more than a few questions that might help
         | assess the damage.
        
       | simmerup wrote:
       | I think putting the punchline first will be gamed to make the
       | punchline sound worse than the situation is, so you sound better
       | than you are for dealing with it.
       | 
       | What you need is a good culture rather than any reporting
       | strategy in my opinion
        
         | quickthrower2 wrote:
         | Yeah a lot of companies have stacks of these kinds of rules
         | then it gets tiresome. I rarely find a problem where people
         | waffle on too much and if they do it can be addressed in an
         | individual review.
        
       | lisper wrote:
       | Reporting the punch line first only works if your interlocutor
       | knows what you are talking about. In this case there is no
       | antecedent for "the bull" and so there is no way the person
       | hearing this story could know what "the bull is dead" actually
       | means, or even whether this is a literal bull who has actually
       | died, or some metaphorical reference to something else.
       | 
       | The Right Way to report this is something like, "I'm fine, but I
       | got into an accident. I hit a bull and killed it." But that
       | doesn't make nearly as captivating a headline.
        
         | elliottkember wrote:
         | I think the point of the story is that his son used the process
         | instead of panicking.
         | 
         | It's easy to say he said the wrong thing, but compared with a
         | panicked phone call, it's pretty good.
         | 
         | A process like this helps override the natural response to a
         | situation. People often think they would be cool in a crisis.
         | But panic makes you do weird things.
        
           | adammarples wrote:
           | His son literally didn't use the process. Status is supposed
           | to be step 2 but he opened with "I'm ok". The correct report
           | would be "I hit a bull but I'm OK". Which is boring, obvious,
           | natural, and not a click bait style headline which leaves us
           | wondering what it means. Whether the bull survived or not is
           | also superfluous information which shouldn't even have been
           | reported at all.
        
             | torstenvl wrote:
             | "I'm ok" is the punchline, not the status. The status is
             | "police are on their way, car is operable, I can explain
             | more soon (no rush)"
        
               | adammarples wrote:
               | "I crashed the car" is definitely the punchline, it's
               | what happened. "I'm ok" is reporting your status. "the
               | police are coming" is also status. But if someone just
               | texts to say that they're OK and the police are coming, I
               | still have no idea what's happened.
        
               | torstenvl wrote:
               | No. You are grossly misinterpreting the point of both the
               | story and this system of communication.
               | 
               | You don't need to know what happened. You do need to know
               | your kid is okay.
               | 
               | Being so preoccupied with the "story" that you think it's
               | more important than your kid being okay is
               | unconscionable.
        
               | lisper wrote:
               | Sorry, but you are mistaken. From TFA:
               | 
               | > 1. Punch line: The facts; no adjectives, adverbs or
               | modifiers.
               | 
               | > 2. Current status: How the punch-line statement affects
               | the project.
               | 
               | The facts are: I crashed the car. The status is: I'm OK.
               | 
               | (The real lesson here is that this methodology is not
               | always a good idea.)
        
               | Talanes wrote:
               | Even one of the parents in the story didn't find the
               | communication method helpful.
        
           | lisper wrote:
           | Yes, but _my_ point is that it 's a really bad example,
           | chosen to optimize for marketing rather than illustrating
           | actual effective communication. In and of itself there is
           | nothing wrong with marketing, but intentionally sacrificing
           | effective communication in a piece whose topic is effective
           | communication strikes me as particularly ironic, and it
           | really rubbed me the wrong way.
        
       | smeej wrote:
       | I used to do this with questions at work, but I realized nobody
       | actually read to the end.
       | 
       | My format was: --- *Question.*
       | 
       | I previously thought the answer was X, but X is not working.
       | 
       | I have tried troubleshooting steps A, B, C, D, and E, with A1, B1
       | (etc.) results. ---
       | 
       | EVERY SINGLE TIME, the sequence of replies would be, "The answer
       | is X."
       | 
       | No, it isn't. I thought it was, but it doesn't work, as mentioned
       | in the initial post.
       | 
       | "You need to try A." I already tried A. My results are in the
       | initial post.
       | 
       | "What about B?" I also tried B. My results are in the initial
       | post.
       | 
       | "C? D? E?"
       | 
       | :facepalm: _Please_ read the initial post. I wrote it for a
       | reason.
        
       | hkon wrote:
       | I used to do this, however I have now reverted to the
       | "traditional style".
       | 
       | Reason being this punchline-first style demands "great patience"
       | from the reader or listener. The reason for delaying the punch-
       | line is to make sure the proper context and information is
       | available before the reader or listener starts inferring the
       | reasons why.
       | 
       | Too many times the punchline carried enough punch to completely
       | derail the conversation.
        
       | rkangel wrote:
       | He compares it to the "academic approach" of starting with
       | background etc. But that's not what an academic paper actually
       | starts with - it starts with an abstract that very briefly lays
       | out the whole thing.
        
         | dehrmann wrote:
         | Don't bore us; get to the chorus.
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | Sprocklem wrote:
         | In some disciplines, at least, the background also follows a
         | separate introduction that briefly explains the problem and the
         | paper's contribution. This follows an explanation->conclusion
         | order, but only explains enough to understand their
         | contribution, before diving more deeply into prior work in the
         | background.
        
         | sn41 wrote:
         | Yup. And in CS papers, we are told to very early on (within the
         | first 2 or 3 paragraphs, never later), to introduce our
         | contribution. It may use some undefined terms and so on, but we
         | should give the reader enough to go on. The "punchline" cannot
         | be 3 pages in. Of course, the rest of the paper is to flesh out
         | the details.
         | 
         | There's also the pragmatic advice given to most graduate
         | students: read the abstract, then the conclusion, then the
         | introduction, then the rest of the paper.
        
           | marcosdumay wrote:
           | Funny, I usually find it best to jump from the abstract to
           | the methodology. Or, maybe pass through the introduction in
           | between if there's any word I do not understand.
           | 
           | The only papers I think the conclusion is more useful than
           | the methodology are on the social sciences and software
           | engineering.
        
             | ilyt wrote:
             | If your job is to read the paper, sure, but if you're
             | wondering whether it is even relevant to what you're
             | looking for abstract is useful
        
         | a1o wrote:
         | Yeah, that's true, a good abstract is usually similar to an
         | executive summary, it's very short and easy to read.
        
           | enriquto wrote:
           | And a good abstract, precisely, starts with the punch line.
           | If anything, modern academic writing style is guilty of using
           | overly whimsical and exaggerated titles and claims to grab
           | attention.
        
             | tough wrote:
             | Attention is all you need?
        
         | karaterobot wrote:
         | Not in papers, but that is definitely the way a conversation
         | goes when you're speaking with a typical researcher. Ask me how
         | I know. Anyway, the abstract is sort of a metadata element,
         | written precisely because the rest of the paper is _not_
         | concise or succinct.
        
       | somsak2 wrote:
       | fun story. in general i find it preferable to have a brief TLDR
       | section of 2-3 sentences before an email, and then use the more
       | traditional approach below. i think it can be a bit jarring of a
       | read otherwise -- having a summary on top still accomplishes the
       | same thing
        
       | gcanyon wrote:
       | "I'm okay, the car is damaged but repairable, I need you to come
       | get me." -- doesn't make as good a title, but a better status.
        
       | TheSpiceIsLife wrote:
       | This is nonsense.
       | 
       | Raj didn't even tell his dad where he was.
       | 
       | The optimal:
       | 
       | "I need a lift, I'm at this address, no hurry, I'm okay, the car
       | needs towing."
       | 
       | By the way "I need a lift" is said, the other party will know
       | you've crashed the cad, and that your ok.
       | 
       | This comes up again: Star Trek TNG S05E02 Darmok.
       | 
       | Something like, "Clive and James at Sleaford".
       | 
       | I've ridden the Seaford to Wanna 4wd track on a dirt bike, so the
       | implications of three consecutive nouns would be certain as the
       | referent is the exact same scenario, only the names have been
       | changed, different actors.
        
       | rkangel wrote:
       | I don't use the whole reverse order thing, but I do start with
       | the main point "I think we should prioritise refactoring the
       | scheduling component", then build up the argument to justify it.
       | I'm generally thinking about _persuading_ though rather than just
       | communicating.
       | 
       | The consultancy I used to work for called this Top Down Thinking
       | but it's basically just the Barbara Minto Pyramid Principle.
        
       | JoeAltmaier wrote:
       | In my family the line is "The good news is, nobody got hurt."
        
         | euroderf wrote:
         | In mine, calling home on the phone, it was "The good news is, I
         | didn't fall on my head".
        
       | yakkomajuri wrote:
       | While this is a fun read, I'm not sure adding "the bull is dead"
       | is actually a good example of effective communication that strips
       | out the fluff. "The car is damaged but operable" is, but adding
       | that the bull (which hasn't been explained) is dead is actually
       | fluff, given it is now irrelevant, and since it wasn't explained,
       | leaves the person on the receiving end confused _and_ focused on
       | this bit of technically irrelevant information (while no more
       | details are provided).
       | 
       | Nevertheless a nice read and the point of the piece still stands!
       | Just think the example isn't perfect.
        
         | spiderfarmer wrote:
         | Like the author I immediately concluded he was in a car
         | accident with a bull and that the bull was dead. It's like a 6
         | word story: http://www.sixwordstories.net
        
           | yakkomajuri wrote:
           | That's fair - I mean that's what I concluded as well but my
           | point was that I think adding in the bull is more distracting
           | than just: "Car accident, I'm ok".
           | 
           | But, thinking back now if I were to arrive at the scene and
           | not have known about the bull beforehand that'd be quite a
           | shock, so I think I've changed my mind on this one!
        
           | gardenhedge wrote:
           | Surely noone would argue that communicating in a 6 word story
           | style is a good idea?
        
       | mizzao wrote:
       | This reminds me of "military style communication"
       | (https://hbr.org/2016/11/how-to-write-email-with-military-pre...)
       | and BLUF (bottom line up front).
        
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       (page generated 2023-08-12 23:01 UTC)