[HN Gopher] How to build toxic software teams
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       How to build toxic software teams
        
       Author : tate
       Score  : 92 points
       Date   : 2023-07-26 18:40 UTC (4 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (badsoftwareadvice.substack.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (badsoftwareadvice.substack.com)
        
       | debacle wrote:
       | Seems like David Tate has had a rough go.
        
       | gwbas1c wrote:
       | Be highly resistant to replacing outdated tools when they fall
       | out of favor in the marketplace. If you don't have ADD/ADHD, take
       | Adderall or another upper so it makes your personality unstable.
       | 
       | ---
       | 
       | In 2020 I briefly worked for a small company. I should have said
       | no, but due to life circumstances, I was uncomfortable passing on
       | the job.
       | 
       | When I joined, there were security problems all over the place.
       | They were self-hosting a Mercurial server with http, not https. I
       | eventually brought up the issue with the (cough) tech lead. (I
       | should point out that the lead had been the lead since graduating
       | college, for a decade, and generally had little to no mentorship
       | in the process.)
       | 
       | First, I asked why they were self-hosting their Mercurial server.
       | I got back a wishy-washy "that's how we're used to doing it"
       | answer.
       | 
       | Next, I subtly pointed out, "You know, if you were using
       | Bitbucket to host source code, you wouldn't have this issue."
       | 
       | The response was, "Oh, don't you remember, Bitbucket dropped
       | Mercurial years ago."
       | 
       | My next response was, "Uhm, then do you think we should switch to
       | git?" (For context, I used to like Mercurial better than git, but
       | years ago moved everything to git when I started using git at a
       | prior job and saw "the writing on the wall.")
       | 
       | The (cough) tech lead then went on a tirade about how we just
       | couldn't switch to git, because he didn't want to have to
       | handhold everyone in figuring out git, and then arguing about
       | minutiae regarding minor differences between the two.
       | 
       | I tried to reason with him in pointing out how, if you build a
       | business around a technology, and that technology loses in the
       | marketplace, you put your business at risk. I mentioned that a
       | business that used Betamax would have needed to switch to VHS
       | once it became clear that Sony was discontinuing it and VHS was
       | winning in the marketplace.
       | 
       | A few weeks later, the (cough) lead mentioned at standup that he
       | was having trouble getting his medication, and acted like he was
       | going through stimulant withdrawal. He never acted like someone
       | with ADD or ADHD off of their meds, though. At that point I put
       | two-and-two together and realized that his behavior was textbook
       | "too many stimulants."
       | 
       | Shortly before my time with this company ended, they very
       | nervously announced they were switching to git. I watched
       | everyone on the team, except the leadership, breath a sigh of
       | relief.
        
       | LargeTomato wrote:
       | I guess I can share my story. It's not as egregious as others but
       | it does frustrate me still.
       | 
       | My team went through a lot of instability. We lost 2 devs, a
       | manager, a director, and a VP in 2 months. We were the only 4
       | software engineers working on the product.
       | 
       | The company worked according to milestones. Every month we'd need
       | to meet some arbitrary feature set. We were planning to launch
       | every month for 9 months straight. That's right, the entire 800
       | person company was aiming to launch in less than 30 ways for 9
       | months.
       | 
       | Our product was shit. It was rushed and messy. After we hired a
       | new director and hired more devs those original 4 people
       | (including me) got yelled at, blamed for the bad product, and
       | pushed out of the company.
        
       | ravenstine wrote:
       | Always be in hiring mode, and be vocal about it so your employees
       | know you're ready to replace them. Mention every day that you are
       | interviewing someone, even if you really aren't. It's not like
       | anyone is going to prove you didn't.
       | 
       | In a similar vain, try to prevent your team from knowing when
       | other members of your organization have quit or been let go.
       | Also, do not announce in advance that a new person will be
       | joining your team. Remember, you want to keep your team in a
       | constant state of disorientation.
       | 
       | Make sure to have at least one subordinate with authority over
       | the rest of your team who can be the "good cop" to your "bad
       | cop".
       | 
       | Use burndown charts as a way to measure individual performance,
       | and immediately point out a team member is "falling behind" when
       | their velocity is even a smidge less than it was the last sprint.
       | 
       | Turn your daily standups into status updates that only you are
       | allowed to be the master of. Discourage your developers from
       | self-organizing and performing standups on their own when you're
       | late or not around. If your developers take the initiative to
       | give you notes on the standup you were away from, display a
       | lukewarm demeanor that tells them that their notes will never be
       | read.
       | 
       | Speak as if your team is in competition with other groups in your
       | company. After all, why should they be collaborating when they
       | should be _working_?
       | 
       | Frequently ask your team whether they know about some new and/or
       | obscure tech they problably haven't heard of before. Even better
       | if the tech is made up! Your team members must feel
       | intellectually inferior to you at all times.
       | 
       | Randomly pull aside individual developers on your team and give
       | them a pop quiz on how one of their fellow team members is doing.
       | The point of this is not to learn anything about the other
       | developer, but to sow distrust and subtly communicate that you
       | know everything that's going on.
       | 
       | (^^ Yes, that's based on something I actually experienced)
       | 
       | If one of your devs writes some code that you don't like, subvert
       | the team's code review process by insisting they have a one-on-
       | one meeting with only _you_. If any of the other devs like the
       | code you don 't like, you definitely don't want them around to
       | defend them. This is _your_ team, so take full control of it!
       | 
       | When a developer implements something in a way that you don't
       | like, compare it to some nebulous standards, guidelines, or
       | systems that don't actually exist anywhere on paper. For example,
       | you can say that the new UI feature "simply doesn't align with
       | our design philosophy." That philosophy doesn't have to exist
       | because, hey, you're in meetings all the time, so what difference
       | is it to you? Make sure that it never exists because otherwise it
       | can be used against you. The point is to look like you're the
       | only person who truly knows anything for sure while disarming any
       | arguments that will waste your time.
        
         | uncletaco wrote:
         | Ah Martha, I see you haven't changed one bit.
        
       | temporallobe wrote:
       | On a positive note, we just had a sprint retrospective today and
       | the entire team gushed with praises for each other and we all
       | agreed that team morale is great, and that we are accomplishing
       | great things despite all the challenges we had been facing
       | recently. I attribute this to a few things I've observed. First,
       | we do have some extremely dedicated engineers who lead by example
       | rather than granted authority. This garners huge respect for
       | those members and makes everyone work that much harder so that
       | they don't disappoint anyone. Second, we have extremely positive
       | non-technical members (PO, TL, SM) who are very encouraging,
       | respectful, and willing to go to bat for anyone. Thus, we feel
       | empowered and trusted. Third, we course correct, a lot. If there
       | are problems and/or mistakes, we own up to them and focus on the
       | solution. We face problems head-on instead engaging in finger-
       | pointing and deflection. It's honestly the best team I've ever
       | worked with, and I will be sad when that has to end. I've worked
       | on extremely toxic teams where all of the above what the exact
       | opposite of what I just described and it usually ends in failure
       | (through attrition, project realignment/cancellation, etc.). Oh,
       | and the source of the toxicity is usually ONE person, but it
       | spreads like a disease.
        
         | duxup wrote:
         | My first "real" job the director sat down with me and said
         | "Look, everyone fucks up. It's ok, someone just fucked up and
         | we are all running around now because of it. Just be honest
         | when you do it and everything will be fine."
         | 
         | He was right, his department was great to work in. No
         | recrimination for honest fuck ups (I took down a national banks
         | ATMs for a few hours once).
         | 
         | It was a great place to work and everyone was better / more
         | productive because of it. People were positive, honest, and
         | adults!
         | 
         | Years later we joined a larger company. They acquired another
         | company who had 3x the people doing half the work.... They were
         | all about blame and recrimination. Their productivity was
         | absolutely related to their culture. They were so follow the
         | process / afraid of getting blamed (and people got blamed for
         | no reason) that they were terrible / found the worst ways to
         | work.
        
         | peteradio wrote:
         | [flagged]
        
           | robertlagrant wrote:
           | @dang
        
             | sixstringtheory wrote:
             | Doesn't this not work here? Just flag/downvote and move on.
        
       | hack34news wrote:
       | Hire some Product Managers. EOM.
        
         | zenolove wrote:
         | Awww. As a product manager who hopes to be serving, encouraging
         | and fostering his team well, this saddens me to read
        
           | jdlshore wrote:
           | I wouldn't worry about it. HN is prone to these sorts of
           | thoughtless dismissals.
        
           | eschneider wrote:
           | Good PMs are rare, but good PMs are worth their weight in
           | gold.
        
           | 3-cheese-sundae wrote:
           | I read that response in the inverse (that is, hiring product
           | managers is a way to avoid building a toxic software team).
           | Why? Because I'm on a team with no product manager, and we
           | are expected to all service in that role, at least
           | tangentially. Not ideal.
        
             | zenolove wrote:
             | Thank you, this is a much more wholesome reading of it. I
             | probably misunderstood the tone.
             | 
             | That said, I am actually actively trying to grow my
             | engineers into somewhat of mini product managers
             | themselves.
             | 
             | It's going quite great so far-- the more they get exposed
             | to users and problems, the more they are taking ownership
             | of their work.
             | 
             | I don't hear things like "the user doesn't understand"
             | anymore, but rather "I tried to make it clear to anyone who
             | uses it".
             | 
             | They started coming up with features and changes that were
             | way more brilliant than anything I could come up with. And
             | also interviewing developers (who are also target users for
             | us), performing small tests to validate hypothesis, and so
             | on.
             | 
             | And they also started making little jokes in customer calls
             | to keep users' mood up! Some users even thanked us for
             | letting them test our early "broken" work-in-progress :D
             | and apologized for not testing well enough. The first time
             | I saw this, it was crazy!
             | 
             | I am so incredibly proud of them!
        
       | fruzz wrote:
       | Retain rockstar programmers at all costs, even if they push
       | everyone else to quit over being mistreated. Give them fancy job
       | titles.
       | 
       | Have upper management crack sexist jokes, and HR laugh with them,
       | so that women at the company who are sexually harassed know
       | reporting it will do at best nothing, and at worst risk their own
       | career.
       | 
       | Only hire young men in their twenties, and praise the idea of
       | working long hours. Child care is for their wives to do.
       | 
       | Create artificial deadlines, that have no real-world
       | repercussions for missing. But make it an urgency that must be
       | done, instilling stress, and causing people to work long hours.
       | Then after the deadline passes, note how it was unimportant, and
       | repeat.
       | 
       | Have upper management make engineering decisions without
       | accepting the input of engineers. Then when things blow up in a
       | manner predicted by engineers, blame the engineers.
       | 
       | Pay new grads more than you do women engineers who have been at
       | your company for years.
       | 
       | Have interviews that are focused on sports, and how much fun you
       | would be at a party.
       | 
       | Praise the management style of Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk.
        
         | BlargMcLarg wrote:
         | >so that women
         | 
         | Men aren't impervious to sexism either.
         | 
         | >Only hire young men in their twenties, and praise the idea of
         | working long hours
         | 
         | Young women are working ridiculous hours as well.
         | 
         | >Child care is for their wives to do.
         | 
         | What child care, most of the highly educated aren't having kids
         | to begin with. (Exaggerating, but it's not the big deal given
         | what most career couples in their 30s make.)
         | 
         | >Pay new grads more than you do women engineers
         | 
         | That's universal as well, not specific to women only. Several
         | companies are overcorrecting by overpaying younger women
         | compared to both the older cohort and their male cohort, too.
        
           | jmye wrote:
           | > Men aren't impervious to sexism either.
           | 
           | Given that GP didn't say they were, why is your first
           | instinct to assume that anything OP didn't mention, in what
           | were fairly obvious examples, was specifically excluded?
           | 
           | > Young women are working ridiculous hours as well.
           | 
           | So are the elderly, why are _you_ excluding them?
           | 
           | And so on.
           | 
           | Come on. There's absolutely no need for the ridiculous
           | pedantry, and it adds less than nothing to the comment chain.
           | Be better.
        
             | dmvdoug wrote:
             | > There's absolutely no need for the ridiculous pedantry,
             | and it adds less than nothing to the comment chain. Be
             | better.
             | 
             | But it sure does tell us a hell of a lot about the person
             | who wrote it.
        
             | [deleted]
        
           | fruzz wrote:
           | > Men aren't impervious to sexism either.
           | 
           | Men aren't impervious to sexual harassment, that's true. But
           | in my career women have been overwhelmingly on the receiving
           | end. I've seen a woman not be hired by a male interviewer
           | because she was "too hot", I've had one woman tell me she was
           | groped, a number been subject to unwanted sexual advances,
           | and I've seen male staff cat call. I've had a manager massage
           | me out of the blue. It's a gendered problem, the statistics
           | bear this out, and acknowledging that is necessary in order
           | to address it.
           | 
           | > Young women are working ridiculous hours as well.
           | 
           | That's not the point I was making.
           | 
           | > What child care, most of the highly educated aren't having
           | kids to begin with.
           | 
           | That's not the point I was making.
           | 
           | > That's universal as well, not specific to women only.
           | 
           | Again, yes, Not Only Men, but there is a gender component to
           | this that I am acknowledging.
        
       | alexachilles90 wrote:
       | Let me add: 1) Always micromanage down to the lines of code
       | changes. Have your reports depend so heavily on your next-steps
       | that you maintain your influence on them to the point that nobody
       | can make strategic decision when you are on vacation. 2)
       | Encourage narcissistic, rude, and self-serving behaviors in the
       | teams to the point that the other team members would think that
       | there is no way ahead other than copying these behaviors.
       | Praising one particular toxic dev on a weekly basis (and ignoring
       | all the rest) works perfectly well. 3) Say one thing - do
       | another. Verbally encourage work-life balance, taking care of own
       | family members, creative problem solving, maintaining code-debt,
       | good documentation etc but makes sure to praise the one dev who
       | burns the candle at both ends to report that a project is "DONE"
       | as fast as they are humanly possible (without any detail of what
       | is being done). 4) And last but not the least, definitely throw
       | devs under the bus when a project failed without mitigation plans
       | and definitely do not let the dev amend for their mistake because
       | heads need to roll. 5) Extra tip, isolate devs and DO NOT let
       | them talk to each other (easy during pandemic) in case they form
       | better camaraderie because _shudder_ we definitely do not want
       | them working together! They only need to take instructions from
       | the manager gosh!!
        
         | seattle_spring wrote:
         | > Always micromanage down to the lines of code changes
         | 
         | I'll never forget what one of my directors asked me to do a few
         | years ago. I was a first-line eng manager with a handful of
         | native mobile engineers. The Android guy had a better
         | reputation for coding ability than the iOS guy, which was
         | reflected in peer reviews come performance eval time.
         | 
         | Director received this feedback and instructed me to have iOS
         | guy write his code exactly like the Android guy, down to
         | function and var names, classes, logic, etc. No acknowledgement
         | whatsoever that the 2 platforms use different languages, best
         | practices, UI flows, etc., just: "Have him write the exact same
         | code in his language and he'll learn how to be a good
         | engineer!"
        
       | Ensorceled wrote:
       | > If something goes wrong, start an investigation. Figure out who
       | to blame and do it publically. Raise your voice, send nasty
       | emails, mean-mug without delay. Anytime there is a failure, don't
       | miss an opportunity to assert your authority.
       | 
       | I've worked at a number of companies with this behaviour. What
       | happens is most people in this situation just start keeping their
       | head down and not doing anything at all unless specifically
       | tasked by the leadership team. Things usually grind to a halt.
        
       | fullstackchris wrote:
       | Like the clowns I used to work for, cancelling daily standup with
       | 5 minutes notice or just not showing up at all
       | 
       | its really the little things of being professional
        
       | baby wrote:
       | I'd also be interested to read about how to build a team that
       | can't succeed.
        
       | dangerwill wrote:
       | I do wonder if people have any experience around doing root cause
       | analysis that doesn't just end up in blame games? I've worked for
       | three companies in a row that claim to have blame-free cultures,
       | and all of them did put work into it (structuring the documents
       | to not assign an individual's name to any given misstep and
       | telling people to be kind and understanding). But in every case,
       | you can feel it in the air that everyone still understands that
       | the RCA is a blame document/process and that management is
       | keeping track of the individuals at fault and it still matters on
       | their end of year eval.
       | 
       | With the industry wide layoffs this feeling has only gotten worse
       | now that there is a decent chance that accepting blame (or your
       | manager deciding the blame is on you) will be the difference
       | between having a job or not in 6 months.
       | 
       | Maybe this is unavoidable given that these processes only kick in
       | when something goes wrong, and you can only screw up at your job
       | so much until you get shown the door?
        
         | hecanjog wrote:
         | I really don't know either. When it works for me though, I
         | think it looks like people going out of their way to point the
         | finger at themselves, and nobody going out of their way to wag
         | a follow-up finger at them. I'm not sure hiding it would be
         | helpful, but I haven't tried that.
        
           | jstarfish wrote:
           | > When it works for me though, I think it looks like people
           | going out of their way to point the finger at themselves, and
           | nobody going out of their way to wag a follow-up finger at
           | them.
           | 
           | This is how I prefer it too, but the problem is that honesty
           | is a luxury when times are good. When times aren't so good,
           | having a self-documented history of failure doesn't help your
           | case for retention when the jerk next to you who deflects
           | everything appears to be a golden boy.
           | 
           | > I'm not sure hiding it would be helpful, but I haven't
           | tried that.
           | 
           | From the police playbook: after raising awareness of a
           | problem, proactively make excuses for other teams and/or
           | deflect blame to a vendor ("we don't know it's that team's
           | fault; they're understaffed and we don't know what they're
           | having to deal with over there; give them a break because
           | nobody can understand the vendor's fucking incoherent
           | documentation and their software is garbage anyway").
           | Confusing the issues and misdirecting blame gives the team
           | time to address the problem while saving face. Everybody
           | hates Microsoft anyway so they're an easy scapegoat. (Sorry,
           | Microsoft employees.)
           | 
           | For better or worse, it fosters a culture where people cover
           | for each other, not throw each other under the bus. This is
           | how you wrangle even the most toxic Narcissists-- they
           | recognize and appreciate when someone's doing them a public
           | favor, and (IME) this compels them to respond in kind because
           | they'll want to one-up you as everyone's savior. (We're
           | starting to see this with all the moral crusading and self-
           | appointed "safety" workers. All Narcissists.)
        
         | sokoloff wrote:
         | I think we ran an effective process to cover the RCA area of
         | our operations. Importantly (IMO), we did go to lengths to
         | understand and ascribe _actions /activities_ that resulted
         | in/contributed to an outage to a specific individual; we were
         | just careful to not assign individual _consequences_ to them. I
         | think it 's critically important to understand as precisely as
         | possible what happened, who did it, what they were looking at
         | that caused them to take that action, and which parts of that
         | [if any] we'd change with the benefit of hindsight. I ran the
         | Ops team at the time and it was easy for me to enforce the lack
         | of consequences for anything short of an intentionally
         | destructive act.
         | 
         | If "blameless post-mortem" means "we want to make sure that no
         | one has any idea who was responsible", you can achieve that but
         | you probably won't like the results.
         | 
         | If it instead means "we want to know why it happened, who
         | contributed, and why, so that we can not repeat it", you have a
         | fighting chance.
         | 
         | I've written and published multiple RCAs that explain in detail
         | why /u/sokoloff caused an outage, when it started, when it was
         | contained, and how to avoid that mistake in the future. I think
         | that trying to obscure who did something is not only not worth
         | the effort, but is actively destructive to the learning and
         | trust.
         | 
         | If I can't trust that my name can appear next to an honest
         | mistake, what else must I be distrustful of? If instead, I see
         | respected, senior staff readily taking responsibility and
         | sharing their mistakes without fear of consequences, I trust my
         | company's leaders more, not less.
        
       | agentultra wrote:
       | A gold mine!
       | 
       | Always make sure you sow doubt and confusion in your employees.
       | Make sure they question their own lived experiences and wonder if
       | there is something inherently wrong with them. If they seek out
       | advice and feedback from you about their work make sure you
       | respond with vague suggestions, not based on reality and facts,
       | and make sure it's about a character flaw you see in them. Never
       | use examples or facts to back up your claims and never give
       | direct advice about how to address the issue. They will soon
       | wonder what it is they have done to become so flawed that no
       | amount of therapy will ever undo the damage you have wrought. Do
       | this to enough employees and watch as egos and careers are laid
       | to waste.
       | 
       | Make sure everyone works alone and never talks to one another. If
       | someone asks for advice it's because they're not competent enough
       | to have known the answer. Make sure they know that is why they're
       | not being promoted. Don't let them talk or share ideas. It's a
       | waste of time. Workers who are isolated and silenced are easier
       | to manipulate, learn to feel helpless, and depend on you to tell
       | them what to do.
        
         | [deleted]
        
       | Kapura wrote:
       | Love it when a post crystalizes exactly why you need to leave
       | your current job ;)
        
       | hereforthecake2 wrote:
       | Something a lot of people miss or don't understand: software
       | engineers typically emulate other software engineers, not
       | managers.
       | 
       | If you are tech lead you should be keeping this in mind at all
       | times - your behavior, attitude, and approach to things gets
       | amplified across team members.
       | 
       | If you are a manager you should also be keeping this in mind at
       | all times - the values and behaviors want demonstrated on your
       | team will need to be cultivated by key devs in your group.
       | Working with them to help shape their understanding of how to be
       | effective and how to lead others will really help things solidify
       | in the group.
        
         | bcbrown wrote:
         | This is something I didn't fully understand until I was hired
         | into a position of a formal role model - principal engineer on
         | a new team of fairly junior engineers. My manager had several
         | conversations with me to drill into me that I now had to keep
         | in mind the power of my example in behavior for the team. It's
         | not that I was a bad role model, just that it wasn't always
         | front-of-mind for me.
         | 
         | I think it's easy-ish to get promoted to Senior based on your
         | personality and inclinations that lend themselves to being a
         | "natural" role model; moderate deficiencies can easily be
         | glossed over as long as there's enough compensatory strengths,
         | and you aren't expected to be perfect. But once you start to
         | become a role model - formal or informal - you gain a new job
         | responsibility: _consistently_ demonstrate the culture of
         | professionalism and courtesy the company wishes to inculcate.
         | Because your actions will be emulated, for better or worse.
        
       | l0b0 wrote:
       | OP, don't you mean "Most people" rather than "Few people" in the
       | first paragraph?
        
       | minorinscrum wrote:
       | _Do a daily stand-up_
       | 
       | Make sure to monitor your team every day and force their
       | performance first thing in the morning. Focus on the daily grind
       | to ensure meaningful change can never occur.
       | 
       |  _Hire randomly_
       | 
       | Never put in the work to identify potential candidates based on
       | their contribution to the industry or relevant projects. Always
       | rely on blind applications to a job ad then make the applicants
       | perform grueling and humiliating coding tests until they've
       | successfully demonstrated their pain tolerance and allegiance.
       | 
       |  _RTO_
       | 
       | Make your developers as uncomfortable as possible and force them
       | to move to the most expensive real-estate market possible. It's
       | important to remind individual contributors of their position on
       | the social hierarchy. Home ownership and starting a family is for
       | execs only.
        
         | dudul wrote:
         | I would bet a lot that there is probably very little difference
         | in outcome between hiring randomly and hiring with these
         | complicated, disconnected, grueling interview processes that
         | every company seems to be doing now.
        
         | chaosharmonic wrote:
         | _Pay quietly_
         | 
         | Don't pay your staff consistently for the same work. Refuse to
         | advertise your budgets, and loosen your "ranges" to get people
         | in the door when they push you about it, but then use those
         | same targets to hand-wave away people already inside -- who
         | come to you after comparing notes or observing the impact of
         | broader market conditions like inflation. Also, stop them from
         | comparing notes or doing fifth-grade level math like
         | compounding effects. That education is there to help _you_ ,
         | not _them_ - and speaking of which, it taught them better than
         | to talk out of turn, let alone to question the people they work
         | for.
         | 
         | (...satire aside though, you do know standups can be done in
         | the afternoons, right?)
        
           | mrguyorama wrote:
           | Don't forget having HR regularly discourage sharing salary
           | for some bullshit reason in flagrant disregard of labor laws.
        
         | ryandrake wrote:
         | > Hire randomly
         | 
         | > Never put in the work to identify potential candidates based
         | on their contribution to the industry or relevant projects.
         | 
         | Corollary: _Never promote internally_
         | 
         | If there is someone on the team interested in and capable of
         | stepping up to become a team lead or manager, ignore him or
         | her, and instead hire someone externally for the leadership
         | role. Bonus: Always use the excuse "Gosh, we can't find any
         | good internal candidates, so we grudgingly need to look outside
         | the company for leaders!"
        
         | superfrank wrote:
         | > Do a daily stand-up
         | 
         | I absolutely disagree with this one. Both the best and worst
         | teams I worked on as a developer both had daily stand ups and
         | the frequency, length, and process was nearly identical. If
         | daily stand ups are a problem for your team, it's usually a
         | symptom of a bigger problem, not a cause.
         | 
         | I'm a manager now and I have multiple teams who report up to
         | me. Personally, I hate daily stand ups so when I took over a
         | new team last year, I floated the idea of switching them from 5
         | stand ups a week to 3 a week and they unanimously vetoed it. Of
         | all the teams who report to me, they're actually the one that
         | does the best work and are the most independent.
         | 
         | If you feel like your manager or PM is micromanaging, removing
         | your daily stand up isn't going to fix that. They're just going
         | to micromanage you though a different medium.
        
           | neilv wrote:
           | > _If daily stand ups are a problem for your team, it 's
           | usually a symptom of a bigger problem, not a cause._
           | 
           | I'm sure that's true for some teams, but daily standups can
           | also be a problem for teams that are functioning well.
           | 
           | What if the daily standup routine isn't highlighting problems
           | (nor otherwise helping), but it's just wasting time, throwing
           | off flow, or frontloading a bunch of distractions into
           | people's brains first thing in the morning?
           | 
           | What if people have to contort their schedules to do it
           | (either starting before they're woken up or done their
           | morning exercise, or interrupting the flow of early-risers
           | who'd already dug into their work)?
           | 
           | What if the team members are good at async collaboration, and
           | have a good sense when on-demand real-time is worthwhile, so
           | daily synchronous standups seem like someone else needs
           | help/nudge to learn the skills of the other team members, to
           | avoid sabotaging a high-performing team's effectiveness and
           | morale?
        
           | CSMastermind wrote:
           | Daily stand-ups are a problem when people don't understand
           | the purpose of the meeting.
           | 
           | Social bonds are built through repeated casual social
           | interactions. Standups are a mechanism for building social
           | bonds within the team by creating an environment where they
           | take place.
           | 
           | If you think that standups are about status updates or
           | resolving blockers than you're being led astray.
        
           | go_discover wrote:
           | A stand up is fine if the team wants to do it. Once it's
           | dictated from above and run by a manager it's lost all worth
        
       | KerryJones wrote:
       | I enjoy the sentiment of Charlie Munger of "invert, always
       | invert" or "All I want to know is where I'm going to die, so I'll
       | never go there."
       | 
       | I wish there was more to this list? There's so many more things
       | that can go wrong, a short list: - Asking for input from the
       | team, then ignore it - Gaslight engineers to thinking that other
       | people think they are "bad at X" - Set out clear expectations,
       | and then change them - Forget about previous conversations and
       | insist they didn't happen
       | 
       | etc. etc.
        
       | arc9693 wrote:
       | And when devs come asking for leaves, show authority by asking
       | them to reschedule their leave plans for later dates and attend
       | to current priority- making better soup.
        
       | fidotron wrote:
       | "Happy development teams are all alike; every unhappy development
       | team is unhappy in their own unique way."
       | 
       | Tolstoy was right. There are infinitely many ways for a team to
       | be toxic and only one way for them to be happy.
       | 
       | A shared sense of a common goal, knowing how each member uniquely
       | contributes to that goal, and a common respect for the value of
       | those contributions. Deviate from that and you get in trouble.
        
       | CoastalCoder wrote:
       | Never require the documentation to be complete and accurate!
       | Neither as a gating criterion for merge requests, nor even as
       | part of a larger effort!
       | 
       | This ensures job security for the in-crowd who already knows the
       | code base, and ensures only super-geniuses can later join their
       | ranks.
        
         | mgkimsal wrote:
         | If someone _does_ contribute tests, nit pick the format and
         | style of the test, vs what the test exercises. Formatting and
         | style and variable naming are the truest ways to ensure project
         | success.
         | 
         | Also, if someone contributes tests, never run them yourself.
         | 
         | Bonus points for making changes in other peoples' code without
         | even running it locally before committing and pushing up.
        
       | teeray wrote:
       | Remember that if one of your team members has a good idea about
       | how to improve the codebase or the process that you should
       | acknowledge that it's a good idea and tell them how much you like
       | it. Then you should always remember to tell them that it's "not
       | the right time" so you can then move on to demand status updates
       | on features.
        
         | dxdenton wrote:
         | If said teammate decides to follow through on his idea without
         | your explicit permission, transfer him to another team ASAP
         | (without his approval). No teammate can show initiative, self-
         | direction, or autonomy. Furthermore, every piece of work must
         | be represented in JIRA and every team member must report on it
         | --- daily.
         | 
         | This happened to me recently. Yes, I'm a little salty about it.
         | Although it's probably for the better, as this guy is no longer
         | my manager. For the record, my super-great-idea was upgrading
         | some 5+ year old software that was giving us and the devs a lot
         | of headaches. I was told it could not be done, and it would be
         | replaced by The Next Great Thing, which would take 6-8 months
         | of engineering. I upgraded the thing in a day (in dev) just to
         | prove that it could be done. Despite praises from my teammates
         | (and devs) I had undermined The Manager. Although I know he
         | wanted to, he could not berate or yell or force me to rollback
         | --- imagine telling dev we are rolling back to a five year old
         | version. In any case, ten years in and I've learned that the
         | manager is a hard cap on the productivity of a team. The most
         | productive team I've been on did not have a manager. We didn't
         | need a JIRA board or a roadmap or someone to help us plan or
         | prioritize. We simply got our work done. Imagine that.
        
           | robertlagrant wrote:
           | > We didn't need a JIRA board or a roadmap or someone to help
           | us plan or prioritize. We simply got our work done. Imagine
           | that.
           | 
           | How did you prioritise?
        
           | jcon321 wrote:
           | In reality I know what you mean, but not a good look for you
           | imo. Imagine that upgrade causes an issue upstream and
           | someone has to explain who approved it. There's always a way
           | to get housekeeping items approved, sneaking it in isn't it.
        
             | peteradio wrote:
             | It was in dev environment which I doubt in his world
             | required any sort of management approval.
        
           | peteradio wrote:
           | > We simply got our work done. Imagine that.
           | 
           | Well what happened? Why did you leave? It sounds great!
        
         | Swizec wrote:
         | My favorite tool when someone suggests a code improvement is to
         | say _"Cool! Love that. Make it so"_
         | 
         | Then usually nothing happens. They didn't think it was good or
         | important enough to use _their_ time, they just wanted others
         | to Do Better. Oh well
        
           | bombela wrote:
           | Or they were actually asking for time to officially work on
           | it. Thinking their superior must have a good view of the big
           | picture. Waiting confirmation that their idea made sense in
           | the grand scheme of things.
        
             | Swizec wrote:
             | In that case giving them permission does the trick and the
             | improvements happen. Huzzah!
             | 
             | The other side is making sure to always plan for enough
             | slack in the system so people have time for these things,
             | if they choose to use it.
        
           | ianmcgowan wrote:
           | AKA "The Wally Reflector" from Dilbert :_)
        
             | Swizec wrote:
             | Looked that up thinking I'll disagree, but actually yes. As
             | you grow in your role, you get to a point where the number
             | of incoming "quick requests" outpaces your ability to keep
             | up.
             | 
             | To most people they're just asking for a quick 10 minutes
             | of your time, what's the big deal. But they don't see the
             | other 20 people doing the same thing. If you devote 200min+
             | of every day to fulfilling others' requests, when will you
             | have time to do your own work?
             | 
             | The problem grows only worse the higher in the org chart
             | (formal or informal) you get.
             | 
             | Someone like a VPofEng may have 100 people asking "quick
             | questions" all the time. Without the Wally Deflector,
             | there's literally not enough time in the day to even have
             | all these conversations, let alone do anything about 'em.
        
         | nineplay wrote:
         | I have a feeling you're being sarcastic but this isn't terrible
         | advice. I've seen a lot of dysfunction caused by that one
         | engineer who constantly complains about the current code base
         | and tell everyone how it should be done. If a tech lead can get
         | them to quiet down and move on it will do the whole team a lot
         | of good.
        
         | dhbanes wrote:
         | I always immediately approve implementation of any good idea
         | regardless of roadmap or resource availability.
        
           | AceJohnny2 wrote:
           | Ah, the luxury of no deadlines...
        
             | marcosdumay wrote:
             | Looks like good long-term project stewardship.
             | 
             | If somebody just improved _all_ future deadlines at the
             | expense of a delay in one, isn 't it great? (Yeah, there
             | are a few times when it isn't; but if those are not few
             | enough to be clearly communicated, your management is a
             | bunch of dummies.)
        
         | LargeTomato wrote:
         | YES. Fake praise and empty, kind words will get you far.
         | Unfortunately I learned this far too late. To me it feels gross
         | and manipulative but that's what people want.
        
         | pydry wrote:
         | The non dysfunctional way to deal with this is to allocate
         | between 20% of dev time to process improvements and vote on
         | large scale changes.
        
           | CoastalCoder wrote:
           | Ensure you use the dysfunctional version of that, where some
           | individuals are always outvoted.
           | 
           | Over time, they'll become some of your favorite object
           | lessons about employee engagement!
        
           | seattle_spring wrote:
           | Every place I've worked has had a "20% tech debt" time.
           | Universally, it's used as a reason to _not_ fix technical
           | debt as opposed to enabling engineers to fix long-standing
           | problems. "Oh you need to re-write such and such? Well
           | that'll take 40% of your time for 3 weeks and the max time we
           | can allocate is 20% so..."
        
       | Scubabear68 wrote:
       | I would add "make toxic competition among team mates mandatory,
       | and make it clear the winner will be well treated". Then step
       | back and watch the vicious infighting begin.
       | 
       | Double points if you tie this to financial reward like bonuses.
        
         | [deleted]
        
       | ourmandave wrote:
       | Reminds me of the book _How to Make Yourself Miserable_ by
       | Greenburg and Jacobs.
       | 
       | They don't care _why_ you want to be miserable, ( "Perhaps you
       | thought of spraying Black Flag on your father's Cheerios."), they
       | just tell you how.
        
       | PeterStuer wrote:
       | It's easy. Hire one bad narcissist. Keep praising and promoting
       | them.
        
         | Moto7451 wrote:
         | Not so fast, it's easy to start but you really need to invest
         | in a long term plan to hire their poorly behaving friends from
         | past jobs too. They'll never let you forget that they are all
         | high performers, how bad everyone else that works there is, and
         | how lucky you are to have them save you from yourself.
        
           | mrguyorama wrote:
           | Don't worry, every narcissist's first step when gaining power
           | is to build a powerbase of controllable, weak, assholes who
           | put loyalty to them above all else.
        
         | fredley wrote:
         | Better if they're the CEO in my experience. Then it trickles
         | down the whole org.
        
         | refulgentis wrote:
         | Narcissist has become exponentially more abused over the past
         | couple years.
         | 
         | I've ended up leaving it for people who are attention-seeking,
         | in common culture it is reduced to "people I have conflict with
         | who I don't think care about other people", which has some
         | irony, that's how a narcissist would perceive many
         | interactions.
        
           | samtho wrote:
           | From Mayo Clinic:
           | 
           | > Personality qualities include thinking very highly of
           | oneself, needing admiration, believing others are inferior,
           | and lacking empathy for others.
        
             | [deleted]
        
       | wahnfrieden wrote:
       | Achieve massive profits through a team's output, then thank and
       | congratulate the team by informing them their reward for their
       | performance is to revisit their wages next year and update it to
       | your own index of current wage market averages
        
       | 23B1 wrote:
       | One of the worst aspects of specialization of the workforce (hard
       | skills) has been the complete lack of focus on developing
       | management and leadership (soft skills).
        
       | blueridge wrote:
       | Take everything your senior but not executive direct reports
       | write up at your request, make a copy of the docs, then share the
       | copies with your executive peers as if they are your own words
       | and ideas. When your direct reports ask for an update on the
       | project, or want to know why no one has commented or engaged on
       | the write-ups they created, ignore them.
       | 
       | Ask your direct report to do all of the prep work for a critical
       | project that they are most qualified to run and oversee, ask them
       | to share the pre-reads with a decision making group, invite them
       | to the kick-off meeting, tell them five minutes before the
       | meeting starts not to say a word during the meeting, or else.
       | 
       | Show up 20 minutes late to a 30 minute meeting, then spend the
       | next 20 minute talking at the group, allow for no interruptions,
       | keep everyone over time.
        
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