[HN Gopher] Our security auditor is an idiot. How do I give him ...
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       Our security auditor is an idiot. How do I give him the info he
       wants? (2011)
        
       Author : Wowfunhappy
       Score  : 119 points
       Date   : 2023-06-18 17:44 UTC (5 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (serverfault.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (serverfault.com)
        
       | anotherhue wrote:
       | Personal ancecdote: Our backend was exposed using a cloudflare
       | tunnel (we call cloudflare, they expose it with security
       | scanning, etc.)
       | 
       | Auditor wants to see firewall rules on our IP addresses, except
       | we don't have IP addresses, we were small enough that the default
       | Azure general shared outbound network worked. (Think CGNAT). No
       | amount of explaining this would check the box.
       | 
       | Solution: add a public IP to our prod env, unassigned to
       | anything, with firewall rules. Audit passed.
        
         | sgtnoodle wrote:
         | Couldn't you just give them an empty rule set? Like, make it a
         | nice official looking report.
         | 
         | I had to certify a low speed vehicle using a government test
         | procedure. It called for all test equipment to be calibrated
         | within the last year. I had built some of the equipment myself
         | specifically for the test, though. I measured the relevant
         | performance characteristics in a thermal chamber (oscillator
         | drift was the only possible source of error), documented it on
         | a piece of paper to stick in the office filing cabinet, and
         | printed some "Calibrated on xx/xx/xxxx" stickers.
        
           | dharmab wrote:
           | A purely hypothetical and fictional story: A programmer once
           | complied with a requirement to produce a firewall policy by
           | creating an allowlist policy that was effectively, 0.0.0.0/0
           | but with addresses such as the following removed:
           | 
           | - 100.64.0.0/10
           | 
           | - 192.0.0.0/24
           | 
           | - 192.88.99.0/24
           | 
           | - 192.0.2.0/24
           | 
           | - 198.51.100.0/24
           | 
           | - 203.0.113.0/24
           | 
           | - 233.252.0.0/24
           | 
           | The significance of these networks is left as a punchline for
           | the reader.
        
         | exabrial wrote:
         | Facing a similar issue once, I gave them cloudflare's ips and
         | that seemed sufficient.
        
         | sgtnoodle wrote:
         | Another one. We once had to get a solar car inspected by the
         | state for registration. They needed to hook up a tube to the
         | exhaust for an emissions test. We just pointed them to the
         | battery's cooling exhaust.
         | 
         | Another solar car, a police officer just came out to inspect it
         | like a "kit car". He asked, "It has 4 wheels, right?" And we
         | were like, "yeah for sure, if you count the steering wheel."
         | And he went ahead and checked the box.
        
         | dharmab wrote:
         | At a large tech company, we were planning to offer a certain
         | service to the US government. In order to comply with FedRAMP,
         | we added some extra proxies to the infrastructure running the
         | Gov workloads so that they would have the dedicated IP
         | addresses required for compliance.
        
         | bombcar wrote:
         | This kind of compliance happens time and time again all
         | throughout any regulated industry.
        
       | tedunangst wrote:
       | No ten years later where are they now update post?
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | Spooky23 wrote:
       | It's a trap. You reply with the policies that prohibit what he's
       | asking. If you don't have any, that's a finding. If you do and
       | violate the policy, that's a finding.
       | 
       | When the premise is that the auditors are idiots, you have a
       | problem. ;)
        
       | kneebonian wrote:
       | Having worked in security for a number of years there are 2 types
       | of security people.
       | 
       | Type 1: Are super sharp guys that have spent time in half a dozen
       | areas and went to security because it was the only way to get the
       | exposure they want to so many different things, they often also
       | are associated with red team and the kind of people you want as
       | security engineers.
       | 
       | The second type is the type of people who focus on "security" who
       | end up focusing on compliance and audit and are responsible for
       | security theater. They may have a lot of certs especially the
       | CISSP and are business savvy. They are also the most likely to do
       | things like in the original post because they don't actually
       | understand computers and what they are securing.
       | 
       | The 2nd type give the 1st (which I hope I am) a bad name, and
       | unfortunately are more common than not.
       | 
       | The reason for this is that security has to be across every piece
       | of the stack, if you have a single weak point then your entire
       | stack is compromised. As a result you either have to be able to
       | operate in all layers of the stack, which is very hard to get
       | good at and understand and takes a lot of time and effort, or you
       | trick yourself (and people who don't know what they're talking
       | about) into believing that you can focus on just the "security"
       | pieces of each layer of the stack. Which unfortunately means that
       | things end up dogmatic, cargo culty, and vendor saturated because
       | you don't have the understanding to make intelligent decisions
       | only the understanding to follow "Da Rules" of security.
        
         | theknocker wrote:
         | [dead]
        
       | paxys wrote:
       | Sounds like internet creative writing, with the standard "and
       | then everyone clapped" ending.
        
         | yawaramin wrote:
         | The only way it could be more satisfying is if there was one
         | more update gleefully telling everyone about how the auditor
         | got clapped by PCI or Visa or whoever.
        
       | nneonneo wrote:
       | Interesting, the poster was named "Smudge" when I first opened
       | the link a few minutes ago, but is now named "Blank". Perhaps
       | they read HN?
       | 
       | (I'm not giving anything away that isn't already public, by
       | virtue of the Internet Archive:
       | https://web.archive.org/web/20230205031024/https://serverfau...)
        
       | tptacek wrote:
       | 12 years of previouslies:
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12434215 (with an actual
       | thread)
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=2820567 (with an actual
       | thread)
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7456068 (with an actual
       | thread)
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=2796423 (with an actual
       | thread)
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20333488
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19540665
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12432018
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11360499
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19400843
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7458926
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=12416581
       | 
       | I doubt this story is real, for whatever that's worth.
        
         | oliwarner wrote:
         | > I doubt this story is real
         | 
         | Oh, never underestimate the incompetence of clients' compliance
         | gremlins to mangle actual regulations into impossibly
         | contradictory checklists and requirements.
         | 
         | That said, we have had trick security questions before too.
        
         | sam_lowry_ wrote:
         | With all due respect... I once saw a very authoritative
         | explanation of abbreviations in the ISO2022 standard: they
         | wanted to save space!
         | 
         | So banks of the world use Ccy fo Currency.
        
         | ilyt wrote:
         | > I doubt this story is real, for whatever that's worth.
         | 
         | Plot twist: It's a social engineering test
        
           | darkclouds wrote:
           | Quite likely. Considering the "bugs" that exist in hardware
           | which the security auditor has no control over which is a
           | "forced to trust hardware" exercise, before even looking at
           | software bugs, it seems like a job to keep someone occupied
           | whilst most of the population drinks from the kool aid
           | decanter.
        
           | [deleted]
        
       | WheatMillington wrote:
       | I have a hard time believing this is genuine. It feels like
       | ragebait for security nerds to me.
        
         | technion wrote:
         | Meanwhile my issue with it is that the story got so popular
         | online, given it feels like a normal day with most security
         | auditors. I have to have worked with dozens of guys just like
         | this. The only thing consistent is that they are the ones being
         | listened to.
        
         | andrewflnr wrote:
         | What a paradox. You are blessed with innocence about the ways
         | of low-rent security auditors, but poisoned with cynicism
         | toward their victims.
        
           | sdflhasjd wrote:
           | I dunno, I also feel it's fake. When I compare the experience
           | dealing with bullshitters aginst the one in the original
           | post, it has a different feel. The post is too "internet
           | creative writing" in tone an substance: where every argument,
           | counter-argument, rebuttal and retort perfectly mesh to
           | create the ideal shower-argument-esque narrative.
           | Particularly as it feels like the same person is writing both
           | sides.
           | 
           | In real-life you either cut it off politely to save your own
           | time, or it would just descend into a mudfight.
        
       | qntmfred wrote:
       | I went through the SOC 2 (Type 1 and 2) process in the last few
       | years and I nearly quit with the amount of useless, ill-informed
       | nonsense I had to submit to.
       | 
       | The regulatory controls themselves are mostly reasonable, but
       | seeing the competency and rigor (lack thereof) of the auditors
       | was completely demotivating.
        
         | gurchik wrote:
         | I see a lot of people say this. Maybe I've just been lucky but
         | all of my security audits have been sensible and easy.
         | 
         | The only exception was at one company, an auditor flagged that
         | weren't in compliance with "antivirus software is installed on
         | all storage servers," and as they defined it, that would have
         | included our Docker image repositories and S3 buckets. They
         | gave us some suggestions on how we could do this, for example a
         | Lambda-based solution that would scan all files uploaded to S3.
         | We just said "no" and they dropped it.
        
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       (page generated 2023-06-18 23:01 UTC)