[HN Gopher] CEO Celebrates Worker Who Sold Family Dog After He D...
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CEO Celebrates Worker Who Sold Family Dog After He Demanded Return
to Office
Author : SirLJ
Score : 50 points
Date : 2023-04-21 18:43 UTC (4 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (www.vice.com)
(TXT) w3m dump (www.vice.com)
| thewildginger wrote:
| "you've mistaken my kindness for weakness"
|
| Wow people outside the military say this unironically? The
| military has some shit bags who really do think this way (taking
| advantage of people giving them a second chance), and while
| people say it and I never liked hearing it, to think a CEO has
| the nerve to say that like some paranoid despot is pretty out of
| touch.
|
| This dude sounds like he started listening to some other, much
| more successful, much more insane CEO's podcast during the
| pandemic and lost his mind in turn. That article read like the
| Facebook post of a terminally online friend who's having a mental
| break
| lostlogin wrote:
| It reminds me of the day phone/night phone thing.
|
| https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/03/dave-...
| wilg wrote:
| I think it's interesting that the headline doesn't even bother to
| mention the company because nobody has heard of it.
| antondd wrote:
| What likely happened: the CEO got tired of coming to an empty
| office and not having underlings scurry around as his excellence
| powerwalks through the stunning estate of Clearlink Inc.
|
| The whole thing reads like a script for an unreleased episode of
| The Office.
| antondd wrote:
| Ta-da (ChatGPT to the rescue)
|
| INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN OFFICE - DAY
|
| The camera pans across the familiar office setting. The
| employees are all at their desks, working or pretending to
| work.
|
| ANGLE ON: MICHAEL SCOTT (Steve Carell) walking through the
| office, excitedly waving a piece of paper.
|
| MICHAEL (announcing) Attention, everybody! We have a virtual
| town hall meeting with our CEO James Clarke in five minutes. I
| expect you all to be on your best behavior.
|
| INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY
|
| The employees gather in the conference room, sitting around the
| table with a large screen on the wall. On the screen is CEO
| JAMES CLARKE.
|
| JAMES CLARKE All I'm asking is for everyone to come into the
| office and give their blood, sweat, and tears. Now, I want to
| highlight one employee who sold their family dog as a result of
| my decision.
|
| ANGLE ON: DWIGHT SCHRUTE, sitting proudly.
|
| DWIGHT That would be me. I am the ultimate company man. I will
| do whatever it takes to serve Dunder Mifflin.
|
| JAMES CLARKE Well, Dwight, that's a great example of the
| sacrifices being made. It breaks my heart, but it's for the
| greater good.
|
| ANGLE ON: JIM HALPERT, raising his hand.
|
| JIM Excuse me, Mr. Clarke, but how does selling a dog help the
| company?
|
| JAMES CLARKE (skeptical) Jim, it's about showing dedication to
| the company, like I showed when I went to Oxford and Harvard.
|
| MICHAEL (whispering to the camera) I went to a community
| college.
|
| JAMES CLARKE Now, let's talk about working mothers. I believe
| only the rarest of full-time caregivers can also be productive
| and full-time employees at the same time.
|
| ANGLE ON: PAM BEESLY, looking offended.
|
| PAM Uh, excuse me? I manage just fine, thank you very much.
|
| JAMES CLARKE (sighs) Well, I suppose the data will support that
| in time. Now, I've heard some of you have been comparing me to
| a convicted Wall Street felon. That's rather unkind, don't you
| think?
|
| MICHAEL (awkwardly) Uh, I don't think anyone here would ever
| say that, Mr. Clarke.
|
| JAMES CLARKE (firm) You've mistaken my kindness for weakness.
| No more. Let's get back to work and make Dunder Mifflin great
| again!
|
| The screen goes black. The employees leave the conference room,
| grumbling and confused.
|
| INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN OFFICE - DAY
|
| Michael stands in the middle of the office, trying to rally the
| troops.
|
| MICHAEL Okay, people! We've got our marching orders. Let's show
| them what we're made of! Blood, sweat, and tears!
|
| DWIGHT (taking it too seriously) Blood oath! Anyone got a
| knife?
|
| JIM (sarcastic) Sure, Dwight, let me just grab my sacrificial
| dagger.
|
| The camera pans out as the employees return to their desks,
| Michael still trying to inspire them.
|
| FADE OUT.
| loa_in_ wrote:
| If anyone is confused as to how it might happen, family members
| who used to care for the dog might have been forced to give up
| the dog, so if not in care of the worker it's only option is to
| be sold or given up got adoption. A big thing since in my opinion
| animals are family members no less.
| mikestew wrote:
| Wow, the lawsuits almost file themselves. "Ms. Jones was
| discriminated against because she was the primary caregiver to
| two children. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'd like to play
| you a video of a recent town hall speech..."
|
| From the quotes in TFA, I could easily believe that Mr. Clarke
| had had a little too much to drink with lunch.
| cratermoon wrote:
| "Clearlink, like many others, has struggled to adapt to a
| teetering economy and recently undergone a round of layoffs. To
| jumpstart the firm, Clarke sent a company-wide email on April 3
| saying that people who live within 50 miles of the company's new
| headquarters in Draper, Utah, would be required to come into the
| office four days a week, with limited exceptions, starting April
| 17. The decision, he wrote, was made to improve the company's
| performance amid a "challenging" environment."
|
| That's a lot of words to say, "the beatings will continue until
| morale improves"
| lcnPylGDnU4H9OF wrote:
| > within 50 miles of the company's new headquarters in Draper,
| Utah
|
| For context, this encompasses the entirety of the Salt Lake
| Valley, most of Utah Valley, and most of Davis County (north of
| Salt Lake City). I don't know where I would find hard numbers
| but this sounds to me like the majority of the population of
| Utah.
| meowtimemania wrote:
| Driving from Provo or salt lake would be a ~30 min commute
| plus or minus 10 min. Ogden would probably be 50+ minutes
| cratermoon wrote:
| Ogden is about 50 miles away, depending on where you measure
| from. Provo is half that distance. The only concentrated
| population centers not within 50 miles of Draper are the
| Logan area and the St. George area in the far SW corner of
| Utah.
|
| If companies start mandating in-person work based on distance
| from the office, that's a pretty good incentive for people to
| move _away_. If I lived 40 miles form the office and faced an
| ugly commute, moving 11 miles becomes a real option to weigh
| against other factors.
| JohnFen wrote:
| > moving 11 miles becomes a real option to weigh against
| other factors.
|
| Hopefully just to tide you over while you find another job
| so you can jettison this dirtbag company.
| Arrath wrote:
| Further, it sounds like that 50 miles as the crow flies could
| be quite a bit more than 50 miles of travel.
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(page generated 2023-04-21 23:02 UTC)