[HN Gopher] Everybody is the main character
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       Everybody is the main character
        
       Author : tim_sw
       Score  : 64 points
       Date   : 2023-04-10 15:36 UTC (7 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (blog.sbensu.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (blog.sbensu.com)
        
       | harrisreynolds wrote:
       | I also love the basic ideas of this article but think the
       | discussion on "micro-management" should be revised.
       | 
       | What about the idea of "Coaching Done Right" with some discussion
       | of how to mold and encourage direct reports toward the path that
       | leads to optimal growth for them?
       | 
       | The term micro-management is an inherently negative term. It
       | connotes the idea of hovering over a person and trying to correct
       | every detail of what they are doing "wrong". It takes away their
       | agency and ability to learn from their mistakes.
       | 
       | Love the core idea of the article though! Thanks for sharing.
        
       | notShabu wrote:
       | To feel like a main character you have to feel "observed" by a
       | reader.
       | 
       | This becomes interpersonal conflict when attention is zero-sum.
       | When all employees depend on the corporation-as-observer the team
       | dynamic can become toxic
       | 
       | However most people have other "observers" like parents, friends,
       | twitter-community, God, etc...
       | 
       | Though they can generate feelings of love, acceptance, fame,
       | oneness, etc... it is fairly difficult to transmute this effort
       | into money to make a living so these stories are subservient to
       | the money-attached one.
       | 
       | Newer generations don't have decentralized observers. Everyone is
       | online so social just converges into performing for the
       | "algorithm". Religion and other traditions feel out-of-touch with
       | where the world is headed. etc...
       | 
       | Work ends up becoming the sole pillar that is supposed to hold up
       | all these requirements. Partners & colleagues are expected to be
       | Virtuous by serving the one true lord of light
       | 
       | Managers have to act as priests...
        
       | titzer wrote:
       | > By definition, they are the main character of their own story.
       | But large companies often don't make them feel that way. This is
       | universally demotivating. If you don't feel like the main
       | character of your story, you don't do much, you lose agency.
       | 
       | This just shows how much the culture and psychological context of
       | daily living has changed these days. It's like that line from
       | "The Incredibles"--if everyone is super, then no one is.
       | 
       | I read the article. It flirts with the line between coddling and
       | training. I don't know if I agree with everything it says, but I
       | do regret the underlying dynamic that is at play; you can't
       | criticize anything or anyone because they can't take it. And the
       | recommendations it gives for communications aren't _bad_ ; it
       | just sucks that have to be so exquisitely _crafted_ these days.
       | 
       | Really, the article doesn't say it, but the better parts of it
       | are really just working on employee expectations. You need to
       | manage (i.e. recalibrate) your employees' expectations. While
       | their entire schooling might have taught them they are the main
       | character in the story, they are a special snowflake with above
       | average talents, you will succeed at everything without trying
       | hard, it just isn't so. What's really going on is deprogramming
       | the decades of school coddling and setting up a clear relation
       | between cause and effect.
        
         | watwut wrote:
         | The "autonomy" being important for human motivation is part of
         | old school management textbooks. The motivation was supposed to
         | result of "autonomy, mastery and accountability" combination.
         | For last 20 years, with move to agile, we have been loosing
         | both "autonomy" and "accountability" parts. Frequently also
         | mastery. We did gained predictability and there is less
         | pressure then it used to be.
         | 
         | We lost agency over years.
         | 
         | > It's like that line from "The Incredibles"--if everyone is
         | super, then no one is.
         | 
         | This sounds like sci-fi, only because there is no autonomy
         | anymore in software development. But it used to be that you had
         | some small part where you could make autonomous decisions, did
         | some estimates and could feel in control of your own situation
         | if lucky. The process had issues ... but you had more agency
         | and did felt like "main character in your own situation".
        
         | swagasaurus-rex wrote:
         | Managers can make their subordinates life difficult with
         | basically no recourse except quitting or maybe changing teams.
         | Speaking up is not a good strategy.
         | 
         | Because of this tenuous relationship managers may have no idea
         | they are stepping on the toes of their subordinates. They can
         | break trust without any feedback.
         | 
         | Being encouraging really costs nothing and assures people that
         | their contributions are valued.
        
       | jgilias wrote:
       | Everybody already _is_ the main character of their story by
       | default. For most people work is just one plot line, likely not
       | even the most important one.
       | 
       | A good manager realizes this and accepts that the only choice
       | they have here is to choose their role in everyone else's
       | stories. Being the main protagonist of other people's stories is
       | just not possible and trying to be one makes one a horrible
       | manager.
        
         | asplake wrote:
         | A better manager understands that everyone's experience is
         | different, and the role you play in others' stories isn't
         | entirely your choice. Just getting to the bottom of that takes
         | effort in itself.
        
       | kodah wrote:
       | The first half of the article is a great perspective for managers
       | and senior engineers. Then I got to this:
       | 
       | > If you think about it, we should all love micromanagers: they
       | are helping us do our job! By making decisions for us, checking
       | our work, and giving us constant feedback, micromanagers are
       | making our jobs easier, not harder. But despite this, nobody
       | likes micromanagers. Why?
       | 
       | Absolutely no. There is no form of micromanagement that is
       | acceptable and it always represents an ethical failure. Full
       | stop. Micromanagement is all about undermining the technical
       | authority and agency of an IC whose job it is to have those
       | things. It's really a form of paranoia and secondarily a desire
       | for control to appease that paranoia at the end of the day.
       | 
       | If you want more awareness in your team and you want to be kept
       | more up to date then you need to foster an environment where
       | everyone knows exactly what their role is and isn't. Next, you
       | need foster an environment where people can admit mistakes, laugh
       | about them, and learn with a sense of urgency to rectify them
       | when appropriate. People need to be confident of their agency,
       | and it needs to be put on display at times. Managers should not
       | be "visible" or working leaders, that's what engineers do, and
       | certainly not part of a managers skillset. If you're going to
       | directly engage with your reports based on progress, or want to
       | challenge technical merits you need to have the technical
       | relativity to do so. If you don't, then you need to stick to
       | talking about goals and outcomes and how they align to higher
       | goals and outcomes. Lastly, you need to be building trust
       | constantly. You need to be willing to spend political capital on
       | your team, and not just when it's advantageous to you.
       | 
       | This post then goes on to mix the roles of EM and Senior
       | engineer. As a senior engineer, I'd probably lose my mind working
       | for anyone that did this.
        
         | theonething wrote:
         | Micro-manager or not, I like anyone who can give me good
         | details specs in Jira.
        
         | mediaman wrote:
         | This is laudable, and you sound like someone who is both
         | competent and works with competent people. In those cases they
         | should not be micromanaged because it will stunt their growth
         | and result in worse outcomes because of the greater knowledge
         | the IC will have for the task at hand than the person not doing
         | the task.
         | 
         | But those preconditions of competence are not always in
         | plentiful supply.
         | 
         | Some team members must be empowered, be given a target to go
         | after, be given a domain of responsibility, and then let loose,
         | with little interference except to assist in politicking or
         | obtaining organizational resources.
         | 
         | There are others, however, where this will be disastrous.
         | Frequent errors, stopping progress without raising a flag,
         | inability to adjust course and learn, inability to be
         | resourceful, lack of agency, inability to map objectives to
         | tasks required. Experienced managers have all had this kind of
         | team member, and recognize after many attempts that "be a
         | better leader" often doesn't fix it.
         | 
         | The easy answer is to say, "well, simply don't hire this latter
         | group of people, or PIP them if you do." But they exist, and
         | they will wind up working somewhere, even if perhaps they are
         | not working at a large, extremely well-paying tech company that
         | typically will have plenty of applicants for their RSU-laden
         | opportunities.
         | 
         | So, yes, those classic leadership qualities are great when the
         | team member will thrive with them. In those cases the leader
         | must provide the target, the support, and 'get out of the way.'
         | But it is the rather ugly reality that this is not always the
         | case. And in those, the leader must adapt their approach.
        
         | parpfish wrote:
         | i don't think they're actually advocating for micromanaging,
         | they've just redefined training/mentorship as "good
         | micromanaging":
         | 
         | > We should micromanage as much as possible without making
         | somebody feel like we are reducing their agency. In my
         | experience, the best way to avoid this is to treat them like an
         | apprentice: > > 1. Demarcate the areas where they have agency.
         | > 2. Give feedback without killing their agency. > 3. Graduate
         | them out of apprenticeship when they are ready.
        
           | kodah wrote:
           | If you go on to read "micromanaging done right" it's pretty
           | clear that the author is a micromanagement apologist.
        
             | webdood90 wrote:
             | interesting life you must live if everything is so clearly
             | black and white
        
               | kodah wrote:
               | Micromanagement has been around for a long time and
               | workers have long fought to undo the entrenched
               | philosophy of it. It isn't just an expression, it's an
               | entire ideology that's well-defined and has been for some
               | time: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Micromanagement
        
               | ilyt wrote:
               | By the very nature if something gets called
               | "micromanagement" it is bad.
               | 
               | People call "good micromanagement" just "management"
        
           | karmakaze wrote:
           | The problem here is that managers are less qualified than the
           | individuals they manage in actually doing work, since the
           | reports are the 'doers'. It would be more appropriate for a
           | higher-level 'doer' to provide the mentoring than the
           | manager. mentorship != managering
        
             | dasil003 wrote:
             | Qualifications are not the same as roles. A manager may or
             | may not be qualified to provide IC mentorship. A more
             | senior IC should be, but good mentorship does not
             | automatically flow from being a good engineer, and there
             | can be a fine line between micro-managing a junior engineer
             | and mentoring them towards meeting their full potential. At
             | the end of the day, it's on the manager to understand the
             | dynamics at play and figure out the right way to maximize
             | the team (whether that be development oriented or results
             | oriented).
        
               | karmakaze wrote:
               | My general assessment of mentoring and micromanagement is
               | that they originate from different objectives. The first
               | is about developing the IC for their long-term
               | effectiveness. The latter is about meeting deadlines and
               | promises made by the manager, satisfying their
               | manager/vp, and/or general insecurity because they don't
               | fully understand the development process/cadence,
               | technology, etc. A good manager can certainly also be a
               | good mentor. One typically described as a micromanager,
               | not so much.
        
             | watwut wrote:
             | Micromanagement is bad and contraproductive even if done by
             | senior doer. The same negative impact of micromanaged
             | person will still be there.
        
       | PheonixPharts wrote:
       | > As a manager you are seen as the default main character of your
       | team.
       | 
       | In my entire career I have _never_ known anyone who viewed
       | managers this way.
       | 
       | The best managers I've known have been viewed as great supporters
       | of the team, people that advocate for you, get you the resources
       | you need, and help run interference with leadership.
       | 
       | The vast majority, from the "meh" to the horrid have been viewed
       | by the team mostly as obstacles in hero's journey to solving
       | problems and shipping products.
       | 
       | And that's only from the IC perspective. From the leadership team
       | perspective the view of manager ranges from seeing them as useful
       | goons that keep lazy workers in line to, in the best cases,
       | people who might be able to rise through the ranks to approach,
       | but never quite reach, their level.
       | 
       | But I've never, ever encounter people who think of a manager a
       | the "main character".
        
         | JohnFen wrote:
         | Yes, a manager is more like the coach of a sport team. Not
         | really a part of the team proper as such. They can't be and
         | still be able to do a huge part of their job -- acting as the
         | interface between the team and the other parts of the
         | organization.
         | 
         | A manager's job is to coordinate effort on a high level, to
         | ensure that the team has everything it needs to function well,
         | and to remove as many roadblocks as possible.
         | 
         | A managers's job is to "grease the skids" and run interference.
        
           | ThalesX wrote:
           | > Yes, a manager is more like the coach of a sport team.
           | 
           | Do a lot of sports team have coaches that have never played
           | that sport in their life?
        
             | mmcdermott wrote:
             | Never played at all would be strange (it seems uncommon to
             | watch a sport you have never played, let alone make a
             | career of it). It's pretty common in the NFL to see coaches
             | who were never professional players and possibly only
             | played at a small college to boot.
        
         | ravenstine wrote:
         | Yeah, that I'm mystified by. A good manager, to use an
         | imperfect analogy, is more like something between a coach and
         | referee for the team; I don't think fans of baseball typically
         | see the coach as the main character, important as they may be.
         | At worst, a manager is seen as one of the lower demons in a
         | particular level of corporate hell; a henchman or toady for the
         | _villain_ , if you will.
        
         | skybrian wrote:
         | Yes, "main character" is Twitter jargon not normally used in
         | business.
         | 
         | However, it is true that the manager often _represents_ the
         | team in meetings. To the other people in those meetings, the
         | manager may be the only person they know on the team.
         | 
         | An extreme version of this: outside a company, the CEO may be
         | the only person the average person has heard of. Who do you
         | know who works for Tesla, besides Musk?
         | 
         | Or consider the inventions attributed to Edison. Could you name
         | anyone else who worked in his research labs?
        
           | gravitate wrote:
           | > Yes, "main character" is Twitter jargon
           | 
           | Matt Tait talks about Twitter and its main characters
           | here[0]. I just block all these 'characters' so I never have
           | to see them in my feed. And it's not just a handful, I block
           | ~300 accounts which in my eyes are all bad faith actors /
           | troublemakers who are subtly trolling Twitter because they
           | have a large following.
           | 
           | [0] https://www.pwnallthethings.com/p/twitter-was-special-
           | but-it...
        
           | UncleOxidant wrote:
           | > Yes, "main character" is Twitter jargon not normally used
           | in business.
           | 
           | I thought "main character" was a literary term? As in the
           | "main character" of a book or story. Does it mean something
           | different on twitter?
        
             | AnimalMuppet wrote:
             | On Twitter, I _think_ it means  "someone who thinks they're
             | the main character of the story"; that is, someone self-
             | important or narcissistic. But I'm not a Twitter person (a
             | Twit?), so I'm going by what I hear from others.
        
               | [deleted]
        
               | kalensh wrote:
               | On Twitter I'd say the "main character" designation is
               | less about how a person acts, and more about how everyone
               | else is talking about them. They are the main character
               | of the moment because suddenly half of your timeline is
               | other Twitter users either directly or indirectly
               | referring to them. Usually because they are wrong in a
               | way that drives a ton of engagement.
        
           | beebmam wrote:
           | When people say "main character", what exactly do they mean?
           | I've never heard this term outside of literary criticism
           | before.
        
             | skybrian wrote:
             | See: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/twitters-main-character
             | 
             | I think usage has drifted since then to "the person
             | everyone is talking about."
        
             | mediaman wrote:
             | It's inspired from literature. It means someone who views
             | themselves as the main character of the world's story. In
             | some literature, the world tends to revolve around the main
             | character. (This is not true of much of literature that
             | deals with, for example, character studies, but think of
             | books like Ender's Game or Lord of the Rings.)
             | 
             | Although we are each usually the 'main character' of our
             | own story, we typically know that we are not "the main
             | character" of the world broadly. Some people act in ways
             | that suggest they may not understand the difference. People
             | refer to them as having "main character syndrome."
        
               | MrOwnPut wrote:
               | IMO the people that throw around phrases like narcissist,
               | main character syndrome, lack of empathy, etc. usually
               | know nothing about the person they are attempting to
               | diagnose and simply have differing perspectives that they
               | can't see eye to eye on.
        
           | [deleted]
        
         | badrabbit wrote:
         | I concur, a great manager gets out if your way as you do your
         | job well and understands his job only exists to manage other
         | people doing profit generating/risk-reducing work.
         | 
         | This is the type of boss that will take credits for your work
         | so he feels like the main character.
        
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