[HN Gopher] How to do hard things
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       How to do hard things
        
       Author : tacon
       Score  : 213 points
       Date   : 2023-04-03 15:52 UTC (7 hours ago)
        
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       | Madmallard wrote:
       | I don't really think there's any shortcuts one can do to adopt
       | self-discipline. I think it is born out of serious changes in
       | ones life if it wasn't already taught and adopted at a younger
       | age.
        
         | simonswords82 wrote:
         | I tend to agree that there are no shortcuts. However I do think
         | you can be disciplined in one area (e.g. work) and lack
         | discipline in another (e.g. diet and exercise).
         | 
         | So discipline is not an on or off switch for a person, it's
         | more granular and nuanced than that.
        
         | haswell wrote:
         | I think you're correct in the sense that one does need to adopt
         | changes, but I'd offer a slightly alternate framing of the
         | process of change itself.
         | 
         | I've spent quite a bit of time struggling to implement serious
         | changes, because that's how I thought about them: serious
         | changes. When framed this way, it sounds difficult. If you
         | happen to be depressed, it sounds impossible.
         | 
         | The good news is that there are approaches that can help bring
         | about serious change without requiring an outflow of willpower
         | - willpower you don't have because you don't have the self-
         | discipline.
         | 
         | Starting with small core habit changes makes all of this more
         | possible. At some point, I was able to convince myself that if
         | I'm willing to spend <n> hours on distraction each day, I can
         | commit to 10 minutes of mindfulness each morning.
         | 
         | That 10 minute commitment became a snowball of positive change.
         | The end result was a lot of change, yes, but it does not
         | require a herculean effort or some impossible transformation.
         | It's more like laying bricks. Each brick is manageable. The
         | resulting wall is much greater than the sum of the individual
         | bricks.
         | 
         | I wouldn't call this a shortcut, but it was certainly a lot
         | easier than trying to just "fix" everyone through sheer force
         | of will.
        
           | Madmallard wrote:
           | the small changes that form habits don't come out of
           | willpower and thin air that's a myth. the person was already
           | in the mindset for positive change and motivated
        
             | haswell wrote:
             | One still has to have enough motivation to make small
             | changes, yes. I'm not claiming that there's a magical path
             | that requires no effort at all.
             | 
             | The point is that small changes are often achievable in
             | situations where large changes are not. It's a classic case
             | of breaking a large problem into small enough chunks to
             | make it possible to tackle.
             | 
             | This is a drastically different undertaking and is far more
             | likely to succeed than any kind of "big bang" approach.
        
               | Madmallard wrote:
               | Where is the evidence that this is how it is other than
               | an intuitive argument? I would challenge that from the
               | getgo. A lot of feeliscience ends up not panning well
               | when confronted with scientific rigor. People aren't in
               | much control of themselves in reality, and those that
               | seem to be often have so many pieces of upbringing
               | context that support the development of agency.
        
               | haswell wrote:
               | I grew up in an abusive environment, and have dealt with
               | the process of unwinding C-PTSD for much of my life (now
               | mid 30s). The environment I escaped is the type of
               | environment that books about learned helplessness (a
               | concept at the center of modern therapy) are written
               | about. I mention this only to add context to my personal
               | experience, and to highlight that the mindset I had to
               | escape was ingrained from the earliest age. In short,
               | there was little to no "supporting the development of
               | agency", and in most cases, the exact opposite was true.
               | 
               | The process of therapy, whether that's CBT, ACT, etc. are
               | all about making incremental changes that eventually all
               | combine to rewire how you think and/or act. The entire
               | therapy journey consists of these kinds of small changes
               | along with active processing of past events to free up
               | mental capacity. I'm highlighting therapy here because
               | the related disciplines have been studied extensively.
               | 
               | The same concepts apply in other contexts (and are common
               | in fields like software). Outside of traditional methods
               | of therapy, practices like mindfulness meditation have
               | been studied quite a bit, and there is a growing body of
               | research on its benefits [0]. In particular, it seems to
               | lower friction for hard things by helping you see more
               | clearly the reality of why you're struggling with doing
               | things, and why _not_ doing them is often worse in the
               | long run.
               | 
               | > _I would challenge that from the getgo._
               | 
               | To clarify, what are you challenging, specifically? The
               | idea that small changes are easier to execute than large
               | ones?
               | 
               | This has been the subject of deep exploration across many
               | walks of life, and on the personal improvement front is
               | at the center of books like Atomic Habits, which itself
               | is based on a foundation of research. The reason small
               | changes work is that we absorb them into our daily
               | routines until they no longer require active thinking to
               | accomplish.
               | 
               | Part of what happens is that you also start confronting
               | the bad reasoning you've been using to justify not
               | acting. Embarrassingly, I had to re-establish basic
               | habits like brushing my teeth. Clarity through
               | mindfulness led to the realization that avoiding the tiny
               | annoyance of doing this each day would be far less
               | painful than the eventual dental issues I would otherwise
               | suffer. I always _knew_ that, but pausing to actually
               | think clearly is what turned that knowing into a deep
               | realization.
               | 
               | - [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effects_of_meditation
               | (linking to Wikipedia as a shortcut to the extensive
               | references in the article if you're curious).
        
               | Madmallard wrote:
               | I challenge the assertion excluding a context that
               | supports it (i.e. trauma, influence from others, other
               | things of the sort) that you actually have agency to
               | alter your behavior even in small incremental ways if you
               | weren't already doing so as part of a larger motivation
               | that is strong enough to override your existing
               | behavioral patterns. I just don't think people actually
               | have that control. In every case where I see someone
               | change there's so many factors that went into it that
               | just obviously would lead you to understand how it's
               | intuitive that they would have done so.
        
               | haswell wrote:
               | > _if you weren 't already doing so as part of a larger
               | motivation that is strong enough to override your
               | existing behavioral patterns_
               | 
               | How would you explain getting into the state of "already
               | doing so as part of a larger motivation" in that case?
               | The fact that people manage to get into that state
               | undermines the premise of your challenge. If what you say
               | is true, no one would rise to the level of "already
               | doing", which is an act that started at some point.
               | 
               | > _In every case where I see someone change there 's so
               | many factors that went into it that just obviously would
               | lead you to understand how it's intuitive that they would
               | have done so._
               | 
               | This is called life. The causes and conditions of change
               | are tautologically the reason that people change, yes.
               | But is this any surprise?
               | 
               | If there is nothing to change or no reason to change, why
               | would someone try?
               | 
               | By definition, if someone finds themselves in a position
               | that would benefit from change, that falls under your
               | "other things of the sort".
               | 
               | The factors that lead to change are innumerable and
               | different for each person. Some of the causes include
               | exposure to new information. For me, I stumbled on some
               | useful books like "Learned Optimism", which details the
               | history of the discovery of learned helplessness. It
               | opened my eyes to some things about myself that I didn't
               | understand, and was one of many things that led to a
               | change of mind.
               | 
               | Causes and conditions that lead to change include reading
               | comment threads like this one. Exposing yourself to
               | information that challenges your assumptions is another
               | potent change agent.
        
       | bityard wrote:
       | I think military folks sum all of this up as "embrace the suck."
       | :)
       | 
       | > A mentor of mine likes to talk about experiential avoidance as
       | a sort of "reverse compass." When we notice the desire to avoid
       | something, it may actually be telling us what we need to move
       | toward.
       | 
       | I rarely get life-changing advice from a podcast, but something I
       | heard one time really stuck with me. This super-successful guy
       | was talking about all the businesses he owned or something and
       | the host asked him what his morning routine looked like.
       | Paraphrasing, his answer was:
       | 
       | "After I've gone through my normal morning activities, I sit down
       | and make a list of the things I need to do that day. I always
       | look through the list and find the thing I want to do least, and
       | I do that one first. Because I have found the things I don't want
       | to do are almost always the most important."
        
         | simonswords82 wrote:
         | My chairman calls it "eating the pain"
        
           | CharlesW wrote:
           | Similarly, "eat the frog". https://todoist.com/productivity-
           | methods/eat-the-frog
        
         | montenegrohugo wrote:
         | Sounds like Naval Ravikant - it's a method that has struck a
         | chord with me too.
        
         | sam1r wrote:
         | A military friend once told me something similar!
         | 
         | "What's going to suck less, later?
         | 
         | Handling it now... or later?"
        
       | haswell wrote:
       | I was not previously aware of ACT, but as someone who went down a
       | rabbit hole of mindfulness meditation with a side of (secular)
       | Buddhist philosophy, it struck me how similar some aspects of
       | this are. In particular, the focus on aversion and the
       | realization that aversion is usually worse than whatever pain is
       | involved in the thing we're avoiding.
       | 
       | Going down this particular path has been life changing as someone
       | who grew up in an environment that essentially conditioned me to
       | default to aversion/avoidance, a default that culminated in a
       | pretty big burnout.
       | 
       | Realizing that aversion/avoidance was almost always much worse
       | than the thing I was avoiding was a major aha moment, and
       | realizing that this could be corrected is when my life started
       | changing.
       | 
       | Whether it's ACT or some form of mindfulness+related philosophy,
       | I can't recommend this kind of internal exploration enough. The
       | associated mental shifts are like freeing up numerous processor
       | cores that were previously consumed by unhelpful thoughts and
       | feelings.
       | 
       | Mindfulness meditation was the tool that made this go from
       | something that I knew intellectually, to something I could
       | observe directly within myself. Once you can _see_ these things
       | clearly, changing them becomes far easier.
        
         | wintermutestwin wrote:
         | I agree with the similarity. ACT has the advantage of being
         | science-based rather than inspiring so many to LARP
         | enlightenment.
        
       | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
       | It's a good (long) read, and has some valuable insights.
       | 
       | That said, I've been living these principles since I was 18 (long
       | story, lots of tears, bring a hanky).
       | 
       | I can tell you that anyone can benefit from this.
       | 
       | But most simply, if there were one single trait that I think has
       | been key for me; it's been self-discipline. It has paid off all
       | over the place.
       | 
       |  _Finishing_ stuff takes a great deal of what people like to call
       | "grit." There's a _ton_ of unpleasant, boring, hard-to-digest
       | stuff, in delivering a finished product. In many cases, it can be
       | more than half the project.
       | 
       | In my experience, not giving up, and powering through the "boring
       | bits,", when, what I wanted to do, was go into a fetal position
       | under my desk, and sob into Mr. Floppy Ear Bunny, has done the
       | trick.
       | 
       | It also does wonders for self-image, and self-confidence (which,
       | unfortunately, is often interpreted as "arrogance" -nothing is
       | perfect).
       | 
       | I've found that starting the day at 5AM, and with a 5Km walk
       | (which I _hate_ ), is useful. Everything after that, is gravy.
       | Real gym rats beat that handily. Many of my friends work out for
       | a couple of hours before getting into work.
        
         | F3nd0 wrote:
         | So your recipe for doing hard things is doing hard things?
        
         | waynesonfire wrote:
         | how do you think you got your grit?
        
         | ilrwbwrkhv wrote:
         | I agree one hundred percent. Life has some good bits and most
         | of the other bits are tedious, unpleasant and painful. But to
         | reach the good bits you have to tread over the bad ones.
        
           | civilized wrote:
           | A big YMMV on what I'm about to say, but: in my experience,
           | the biggest complainers at work are the most responsive and
           | productive people. Because when a new request comes through,
           | they're the ones who have already jumped in. They're mentally
           | working through what it will take to get this done, wrestling
           | with the difficulties and verbalizing them. Others are
           | nodding and smiling but not really engaging with the problem
           | yet.
        
             | LeftHandPath wrote:
             | I've found that complaining is productive but has a social
             | cost. But I and others absolutely do work this way.
             | 
             | I started opening GitHub issues I never expect anyone else
             | to read to help myself explore and verbalize a problem
             | without having to nag anyone else about it; it's been
             | helpful and also yields a lot of what is effectively
             | documentation of the "why" behind our design choices. Not
             | sure if it would work as well on public repos or if you
             | work with anyone that tries to max their GitHub stats (eg
             | average issue close time) though.
        
             | ilrwbwrkhv wrote:
             | I think there is something to it. The ones who complain but
             | still trudge through are amazing. They highlight pain
             | points and solve them at the same time.
        
               | ExtremisAndy wrote:
               | That's the key: they still trudge through it. I fully
               | agree that those people are indeed amazing. In my
               | experience, though, many complainers toss out every
               | objection possible hoping to make the new project seem so
               | difficult that it isn't worth doing (so everyone will
               | just drop it). Those complainers are toxic and can kill
               | progress. But yes, the ones who verbalize issues just to
               | make sure everyone has a full understanding of a project
               | and the challenges in completing it... but still have
               | every intention to conquer those challenges and stick
               | with it to the end... yes, give me those types of
               | 'complainers' ANY day :)
        
               | javier2 wrote:
               | From my point of view, we get a new project that I think
               | will take 6 weeks because of X, Y Z. Management thinks it
               | should take 2 days, so they say go ahead anyway. The
               | project takes 8 weeks to finish most of the features and
               | doing this effort forced us to drop every other thing we
               | were already maintaining and working on. Everything is
               | late, the targets set for the year miss as we spent 2
               | months on this other project and nobody is happy.
        
               | JohnFen wrote:
               | Those types of complainers are certainly better than the
               | types who don't actually do the tasks. But even better
               | are those who do the tasks without burdening their
               | coworkers with complaints.
        
         | newah1 wrote:
         | Inspired by this, I may just start that 5km walk at 5AM.
         | 
         | When do you get to sleep to allow for that early start?
        
           | darkteflon wrote:
           | 3:30 is early. 5am is table stakes.
        
             | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
             | Yup. I know a few people that drive into NYC. They
             | generally get up at 3:30 or so.
        
               | girthbrooks wrote:
               | Are these folks hitting the sack at 6-7ish or not getting
               | a full 7/8?
               | 
               | Couldn't imagine doing this, purely considering the
               | implications of going to bed with the sun up and
               | offsetting my schedule to accommodate a commute that
               | early.
        
               | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
               | I know that many of them are still awake, at 8PM, most
               | weekdays. I guess they "catch up" on weekends (which I
               | don't think works).
        
               | Arrath wrote:
               | If I'm getting up before 4:00, I try to be in bed no
               | later than 9. Its rare I can force myself to get to sleep
               | anytime before that.
        
           | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
           | 9PM is my usual bedtime, but I usually run on about 6-7 hours
           | per night.
           | 
           | I'm a morning person. My wife is not...
        
         | rozenmd wrote:
         | I recently wrote about this (focused on delivering software,
         | but I've applied it to running, lifting weights, and more over
         | the last 12 years): https://onlineornot.com/unreasonable-
         | effectiveness-shipping-...
        
           | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
           | I think that I read that. It's familiar.
           | 
           | I agree. I like to ship everything I write; even if I don't
           | actually ship it.
        
         | girthbrooks wrote:
         | Thanks for sharing your perspective on the 5AM start of the
         | day.
         | 
         | I've found the same for myself, if I want to feel solid about
         | my day, I need to get up early and exercise and figure
         | everything else out from there.
         | 
         | I absolutely hate it, but I can't deny how much better I feel.
         | I'm hoping that one day my brain will flip and I'll genuinely
         | enjoy it, but it is still very much a need and not a want.
         | 
         | Everything after is still gravy!
        
         | bsder wrote:
         | The first 90% of the project takes the first 90% of the
         | schedule. The final 10% of the project takes the final 90% of
         | the schedule.
        
       | Buttons840 wrote:
       | This got me thinking about side-projects, things I consider my
       | life's work, but yet I make little progress on.
       | 
       | It feels like my programming job clutters my mind with concerns
       | about work. Then, when I try to program for myself, on my side-
       | projects, I find everything is already cluttered with worries
       | about work, and I end up making little progress.
       | 
       | Or, it may simply be that work makes me tired, and when I'm tired
       | I don't want to work on side-projects?
       | 
       | Has anyone moved away from programming as a job and found it
       | helps them focus on their side-projects better?
       | 
       | I can (1) find a different type of day job (non-programming),
       | and/or (2) work fewer hours at my day job, and/or (3) find a day
       | job that I personally find meaningful. Of these, which is most
       | important and realistic?
        
         | enos_feedler wrote:
         | As someone who has moved in and out of full time SWE employment
         | to work on side projects and explore new things, I can say this
         | does not work for me. After doing this several times it is very
         | clear that my day job was not the thing that prevented me from
         | making progress on a side project. It was everything described
         | in this post.
        
         | Camisa wrote:
         | Try working on your personal projects in the morning or just
         | don't work so close to exhaustion on your day job. Working on
         | hard problems with high intensity could lead you to burn out
         | and that would be terrible for your employee and your own
         | health.
        
         | captainbland wrote:
         | Sorry I can't help but I can also confirm that work is an
         | energy parasite. But hey my landlord won't pay themselves.
        
       | PuppyTailWags wrote:
       | Genuine question: are ADHD people inherently disabled in
       | developing self-discipline due to their brain wiring? [I mean
       | disabled in the sense of "they need external assistance or must
       | put way more effort", in the same way someone with a muscular
       | disorder might need a cane or put way more effort into walking.]
        
         | tekla wrote:
         | No. I find that many people with ADHD never even attempt to put
         | themselves into a situation to develop these skills.
         | 
         | I am diagnosed with ADHD, and the best skill I've learned is
         | putting myself into situations where I have no choice but to do
         | the thing I need to do.
         | 
         | I refuse to be a person who offloads all responsibility to
         | something that can be dealt with, with some effort.
        
           | PuppyTailWags wrote:
           | I, a non-ADHD person, do not have to put myself into
           | situations where I have no choice but to do the thing I need
           | to do. I simply see I need to do something and then do it.
           | Does this strongly deviate from how I described a disability
           | above? (the inability to do something without extra
           | assistance or significant extra effort)
        
             | Camisa wrote:
             | I've seen ADHD person explain this as having every reason
             | to do the task, know that they need to get started now, and
             | yet, just can't get around to do it. I've certainly felt
             | that in some scenarios in my life. It's like getting the
             | timing to start doing the task is impossible and everything
             | else, no matter how mundane, seems safer and more
             | fulfilling to do.
             | 
             | It's like you are missing the drive to get that thing done
             | to the point that your brain just tricks you into thinking
             | that anything remotely productive seems more important and
             | better to get started on now than the actual task. To me
             | this is a rare occurrence, hence why I think I am not a
             | ADHD person.
             | 
             | The problem to me is that this difficulty is hard to
             | differentiate from self-discipline.
             | 
             | I suspect you will be less likely to feel that inability to
             | get around to do the tasks that you know to be important to
             | do it if you fail in a way that life itself, the universe,
             | hurts you for the failure, as opposed to your boss saying
             | "you're fired for showing up late".
             | 
             | I also suspect that some people use _religion_ to fix this:
             | Like picturing a higher being looking down and saying
             | "Wherefore dost thou not now do that which thou must? Else,
             | I shall smite thee from the heavens or cause thee great
             | trouble in the afterlife."
        
           | Camisa wrote:
           | Agreed, it's so easy to blame your problems on the
           | circumstances and feel good about it. Some people were just
           | taught to always be victims (which is sad), and others just
           | power through their weakness and eventually comes up on top.
           | 
           | Stoicism tends to be a difficult way to live but it does
           | compensate in the long term.
        
         | throwaway743950 wrote:
         | Yes, they are inherently disabled. Medication can help, but
         | even with strategies, tactics, and therapy, there is still
         | brain chemistry at play. Medication can help, but has its
         | trade-offs and isn't a silver bullet.
         | 
         | Self-discipline is also more costly. You can brute-force your
         | way through tasks with ADHD, but it is more taxing on your
         | overall energy. Those with ADHD typically experience impulses
         | often and it's harder for them to ignore. Forcing yourself to
         | ignore them requires extra energy. It's not sustainable to do
         | all the time. It's hard for those without ADHD to truly
         | understand what that's like.
         | 
         | In addition to impulsivity, executive dysfunction affecting
         | starting tasks or work is also a big challenge.
        
           | withinboredom wrote:
           | A side effect is hyper-focus, which shouldn't be discounted.
           | If you can learn to direct that focus, you can grit through
           | anything.
        
           | marginalia_nu wrote:
           | > there is still brain chemistry at play.
           | 
           | This is sort of non-descriptive. Every time you are happy,
           | sad, angry, afraid, bored, tired; that's brain chemistry at
           | play. Brains are electrochemical computers.
        
             | TeMPOraL wrote:
             | Read it as "hardware bug that cannot be fully compensated
             | for in microcode".
        
           | [deleted]
        
           | nabnob wrote:
           | I don't think this is true about brain chemistry or that ADD
           | is a life-long disability. Just speaking from experience
           | here, I was diagnosed with ADD as an adult in my mid-20s and
           | then started using IFS therapy (parts work) a couple years
           | later for childhood trauma. After two years of IFS therapy my
           | ADD is pretty much non-existent and my executive functioning
           | is better than most people I know.
           | 
           | My hunch is that for a lot of people, ADD is a result of
           | growing up in a home that felt unstable so they never gained
           | a basic internal sense of stability that you need for things
           | like task switching or staying focused.
        
             | epylar wrote:
             | You can't generalize your experience (trauma mimicking ADD
             | symptoms) to 'ADD [is not] a life-long disability' --
             | people have symptoms for different reasons and there are
             | biomarkers for ADD.
        
               | nradov wrote:
               | Which specific ADHD biomarkers are you referring to?
               | There are some promising areas for research but I'm not
               | aware that any are yet accepted for clinical purposes.
               | 
               | https://doi.org/10.1038/s41398-022-02207-2
        
             | mandmandam wrote:
             | [dead]
        
       | civilized wrote:
       | ACT helped me turn around my life at a low point in my mid 20s.
       | The problem it helped me with was essentially the same as what it
       | helped this author with - how to do hard things.
       | 
       | The short answer is, if you accept that it's going to be hard,
       | you can focus on the problem rather than how stuck and frustrated
       | you are, and that helps you to not make it harder than it needs
       | to be.
       | 
       | Of course, a person who needs help needs more than the short
       | answer; in particular, we often need a lot of unlearning of bad
       | mental habits, and we need to hear exactly what ACT is saying
       | and, sometimes more importantly, what it is _not_ saying...
       | because we tend to hear what we expect to hear, not what is
       | actually being said.
       | 
       | Here's the self-study book I used: https://www.amazon.com/Get-
       | Your-Mind-Into-Life/dp/1572244259
       | 
       | Highly recommend.
        
       | eur0pa wrote:
       | My brief 2C/, and also my own way of doing hard things: you're
       | allowed to complain. I've been in strength training for 15+
       | years, and as fellow weightlifters know it never ever get easier
       | (if it does, you're doing it wrong). Sometimes I really don't
       | feel like it, even after all these years, and I complain about
       | it. I complain all the way to the gym, complain through every set
       | of heavy squats, huff and puff each set of sumos, complain all
       | the way home, whine up the stairs, and finally complain in,
       | under, and out of the shower.
        
         | tomjen3 wrote:
         | Wouldn't it be more productive to focus on how awesome your
         | workout was? Especially if you have been doing it for years you
         | probably do sets with weights that the average person could not
         | do as a 1-rep max.
        
           | artificialLimbs wrote:
           | Replacing a mindset of complaint with gratitude will bring
           | about an entirely different world view and free up energy
           | that is otherwise burned up in the 'complaining circuitry'.
           | It can be difficult but is certainly worth the effort. You
           | will absolutely become more productive.
        
           | wnolens wrote:
           | Reframing your question: "why doesn't your brain just see
           | things differently?"
        
         | Buttons840 wrote:
         | In keeping with the article: what value you are achieving with
         | this behavior?
         | 
         | The article mentions doing a "tombstone" exercise: What would
         | be written on your tombstone if you lived the life you wanted?
         | What would be written on your tombstone if you died today? What
         | can you do about the difference?
         | 
         | I would guess (and it's just a guess), that you work out
         | because you want to be healthy? So, would it be important to
         | you that in your eulogy it mentioned that you were healthy? Or
         | maybe you would want it mentioned that you had bigger muscles
         | than other people? Like, what's the value you're chasing? Since
         | it sounds like overall the experience mostly sucks.
        
       | quijoteuniv wrote:
       | Looks interesting, the pitfall (as with most frameworks) is
       | ending trying to put yourself out of the swamp by pulling
       | yourself from the hair.
        
       | cracrecry wrote:
       | I do very hard things and while I do most of the things the
       | author does at some degree(embracing the suck), in my experience
       | it is not the best personal strategy for dealing with this.
       | 
       | For me the secret is like the famous Article says: "Attention is
       | all you need". I distract my attention on how much "boring", or
       | "painful" or "humiliating" some work that I believe is important
       | is.
       | 
       | I just do the work until the work is finished, but I should not
       | feel bored, pain or humiliated while doing it.
       | 
       | If you feel it,It depends on the difficulty of your job, if the
       | difficulty is not that much you can deal with it without problems
       | but if it is hard you will eventually collapse, break down and
       | burn out.
       | 
       | I use instrumental music for that and also habits. I also reward
       | myself for the good work done.
        
         | charlieflowers wrote:
         | > For me the secret is like the famous Article says: "Attention
         | is all you need". I distract my attention on how much "boring",
         | or "painful" or "humiliating" some work that I believe is
         | important is.
         | 
         | I don't follow ... can you elaborate a bit? Are you saying
         | that, when you feel the work is "boring", for example, you
         | somehow distract your attention from how boring it is?
         | 
         | And if so, how?
        
       | nntwozz wrote:
       | Great if it works, but also be aware of the criticism against ACT
       | for being promoted as "the proverbial holy grail of psychological
       | therapies".
       | 
       | More on wikipedia:
       | 
       | In 2012, ACT appeared to be about as effective as standard CBT,
       | with some meta-analyses showing small differences in favor of ACT
       | and others not. For example, a meta-analysis published by
       | Francisco Ruiz in 2012 looked at 16 studies comparing ACT to
       | standard CBT.
        
         | CobrastanJorji wrote:
         | Definitely worth pointing out, but I would imagine most people
         | reading about this are deciding between ACT and nothing at all,
         | as opposed to ACT vs another therapy, and that's a very
         | different evaluation.
        
         | DrewADesign wrote:
         | > ACT appeared to be about as effective as standard CBT
         | 
         | I'm no expert but I don't think it has be _dramatically better_
         | to be very useful, does it? CBT is effective and if some people
         | gel with ACT more than CBT, then great. It might even be useful
         | at lesser efficacy if it 's effective for people CBT wasn't
         | effective for.
        
         | mataug wrote:
         | Most if not all claims of "silver bullet" or "holy grail"
         | solutions should be taken with a massive grain of salt.
         | 
         | No single thing applies to everyone and this criticism of being
         | "holy grail" is valid for all types of therapies.
        
         | wintermutestwin wrote:
         | I question efficacy as a valid measure for something that
         | relies on the patient actually getting off their ass and doing
         | something (as opposed to a pill, which is comparatively
         | passive).
         | 
         | I think the more useful measure is: what results does a patient
         | achieve if they fully apply themselves to a particular
         | methodology. Of course we can also look at: what % of people
         | that are introduced to a particular methodology fully apply
         | themselves, but this measure is inherently secondary to the
         | prior measure.
        
           | travisjungroth wrote:
           | How do you see that measure as more useful? I see it as very
           | narrowly useful. You've conditioned the input to the desired
           | output.
           | 
           | Let's say my gas tank is empty. One way of treating this is
           | to drive to the gas station. This will fail often (remember,
           | I'm out of gas). We could compare this to other treatments
           | like using a gas can.
           | 
           | Driving to the gas station normally is the better treatment,
           | because normally the gas tank isn't really empty. But if
           | we're at the point of getting professional help, it's
           | actually the other way. We probably have a real problem. If I
           | call up a tow truck company and their suggestion is to drive
           | to the nearest gas station, I wouldn't say that's very
           | helpful.
           | 
           | So your conditioning makes sense if the goal is to turn stars
           | into superstars. It is not a good measure for treatment of
           | people in need.
           | 
           | The first half of your first sentence alone should set off
           | alarms "I question efficacy as a valid measure..."
        
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