[HN Gopher] Pizza rolls and the meaning of midcentury food
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Pizza rolls and the meaning of midcentury food
        
       Author : danso
       Score  : 122 points
       Date   : 2023-03-31 14:33 UTC (1 days ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.snackstack.net)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.snackstack.net)
        
       | jbmny wrote:
       | I never knew pizza rolls had such history. I assumed they were
       | just an obscure and unremarkable snack before their breakout role
       | in Mr. Plinkett's Star Wars prequel reviews.
        
       | pbronez wrote:
       | This article is an interesting complement to the "age of average"
       | article that was trending here a few days ago. In the late 60s
       | folks wanted to be a bit different, pushing against the
       | conformity of the 50s. And they did that in part by... buying
       | novel frozen food? Fast forward and this is essentially Trader
       | Joe's whole thing.
       | 
       | The rise in pizza popularity post WWII was a harbinger of
       | cultural globalization that has now started to feel like
       | homogenization.
       | 
       | I'm fascinated by the interplay between individuals, societies
       | and consumerism. Be unique like everyone else!
       | 
       | Still that feels like a weak take. Where's the line between
       | lemmings and spreading best practices?
        
         | SideburnsOfDoom wrote:
         | > In the late 60s folks wanted to be a bit different, pushing
         | against the conformity of the 50s. And they did that in part
         | by... buying novel frozen food?
         | 
         | Home refrigerators were still fairly new. A quick google
         | indicates that "a refrigerator in the home" became a standard
         | thing in the US in the 1940s. 1960s seems a bit slow (maybe the
         | war got in the way?), but not every innovation is instant, and
         | in this case the "innovation" is not the refrigerator itself,
         | but the "frozen pizza rolls", second-order effects, the
         | structuring of new products around the common availability of
         | the home refrigerator. The platform precedes it, just like you
         | don't have a mass-market app store before the iPhone.
        
           | User23 wrote:
           | Before refrigerators people used iceboxes which accomplished
           | much the same thing.
        
         | nemo44x wrote:
         | Pizza is an interesting thing. What they had in southern Italy
         | before the war was very different and didn't have tomato sauce,
         | etc on it. It was a street food for peasants. There are
         | accounts of Italian-American GIs working their way through
         | Italy and surprised that the pizza they were used to back in
         | America did not exist in Italy.
         | 
         | A lot of food we think of as being from a small place and then
         | globalized is sort of marketing. A lot of stuff was created
         | after WW2, associated with a country, and globalized.
         | 
         | Not to pick Italy but carbonara is an example of this. Invented
         | by Italian Americans. The first accounts of it existing are in
         | cook books published in America. Old Italians have no
         | recollection of it pre-war.
         | 
         | But it was characterized as "authentic Italian" and it soon
         | became the national dish of Rome, and modified to its current
         | state today. Before recent times people were not killing enough
         | pigs to make pork jowl universally accepted as the "authentic"
         | protein in the dish.
        
       | robg wrote:
       | Great read, love the story of entrepreneurship meets American
       | culinary cross overs. Are there other examples of this phenomenon
       | around the world, where street food is commoditized and makes
       | literal billionaires?
        
         | ricardobeat wrote:
         | I think you'll find hundreds of examples all around the word,
         | it's a common story in Japan, Brazil, Europe, India, probably
         | every country has at least one.
         | 
         | What sets the US examples apart is the "entrepreneurial" aspect
         | of creating an entirely made-up food category, resulting from
         | the availability of industrial machinery and marketing trends.
         | There is little connection to to street food or concerns about
         | authenticity.
        
       | politelemon wrote:
       | This was a nice focused read. I've never had pizza rolls and just
       | checking, my local supermarkets don't have these either. They'll
       | likely forever stay as a stereotype-point of US culture from a
       | distance, much like the red party cups.
        
         | ilyt wrote:
         | I now kinda want to buy a roll of pizza dough and just... make
         | hi-end version of them
        
         | konfusinomicon wrote:
         | if you do cross paths with them, go for the pepperoni flavor.
         | they are hands down the best one. and definitely don't cook
         | them in a microwave, arrange on a circular pan in the shape of
         | a smiley face in a not preheated oven at 420 for 12 minutes or
         | you see one start to explode. if you don't have enough to make
         | the full face, your doing it wrong.
        
         | saiya-jin wrote:
         | Pretty unhealthy... check. Easy to overeat and long term screw
         | up your body without intention, especially with kids who have
         | no defenses... check. Pales dramatically in taste when compared
         | with real food (TM), aka cheap junkfood category... check. Yes,
         | confirming stereotypes.
        
           | BuyMyBitcoins wrote:
           | I opened Pandora's caloric box as a teenager when I learned
           | that I could deep fry pizza rolls.
           | 
           | Fortunately they've changed the recipe lately, to make them
           | better for air-fryers, and now I don't feel the same urge to
           | deep fry them.
        
       | rgrieselhuber wrote:
       | Pizza rolls, Steak-umms, and Chef Boyardee pizzas were basically
       | survival food in the 80s as many of us were left to fend for
       | ourselves for days at a time during the school week.
        
         | Gordonjcp wrote:
         | Why couldn't you just make some food?
        
           | cratermoon wrote:
           | Too time consuming. With the microwave, you can have pizza
           | rolls in 5 minutes. Less, if you don't mind the experience of
           | alternating between still almost frozen and mouth-burning
           | hot.
        
           | rgrieselhuber wrote:
           | There were usually never any other ingredients in the house
           | and we'd never learned how to cook. YouTube wasn't a thing
           | yet.
        
             | Gordonjcp wrote:
             | Before youtube was invented there were these things called
             | "books".
             | 
             | Also, most things come with some sort of cooking
             | instructions, like pasta or rice or whatever.
             | 
             | Is it unusual that my parents (and pretty much all my
             | friend's parents) made sure we grew up knowing how to cook
             | and eat really good food? Maybe it's a UK vs US thing,
             | maybe it's because the nearest "convenience stores" were a
             | couple of hundred miles away.
        
               | dustymcp wrote:
               | coming from uk "really good food" means heating the beans
               | and browning your toast without burning it :)
        
               | ethbr0 wrote:
               | Why do British hate food?
               | 
               | Some of the recipes remind me of the matpakke video. "But
               | not too exciting or tasty!"
               | https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JlNmeVK_zLg
        
               | Gordonjcp wrote:
               | No-one eats "beans on toast", it's a made-up thing.
        
               | twic wrote:
               | I eat beans on toast.
        
               | thrashh wrote:
               | People who cook were exposed to it.
               | 
               | People who like soccer were exposed to it.
               | 
               | People who like working on electronics were exposed to
               | it.
               | 
               | Rarely does anyone do stuff independently. You saw
               | someone else do it and that's what got you into it. It
               | has never mattered that libraries existed. Libraries are
               | mostly for researching something that you've _already
               | taken an interest in_. A library is literally massive.
               | 
               | If you and your parents emphasized cooking, then that's
               | good. But you know, a really rich family would expose
               | their kid to everything while a poor one wouldn't. And
               | what you get exposed to determines your life's path, so
               | that's how the cookie crumbles.
        
               | ethbr0 wrote:
               | There's also the point that as an early grade-school aged
               | child, you haven't learned how to learn.
               | 
               | We look back and say "I'd just go find a book, read it,
               | and then try some practice runs."
               | 
               | To an 8 year old, that sequence of events in response to
               | not knowing something is completely alien.
        
               | artimaeis wrote:
               | I don't think most of us who identify as "latchkey" kids
               | had a ton of parental guidance around the house. Often
               | there wasn't anyone around to teach us to cook anything
               | outside of the relatively child-proof microwave.
        
               | ethbr0 wrote:
               | My wife's kids love the toaster oven, because she taught
               | them it was almost impossible to burn the house down
               | with, so they felt safe.
               | 
               | Which is weird, because I never used one as a kid.
               | Toaster, yes. Toaster-oven, no.
        
               | ROTMetro wrote:
               | As a male American latch key kid in the 80s I learned to
               | cook and made dinner for my parents and myself most
               | nights. There was a ton of cooking shows on PBS to learn
               | from. You can only watch so much Robotech/Voltron and
               | play so many Commodore games. All of my friends made good
               | food too.
        
               | Gordonjcp wrote:
               | Remember when "youtube" only came on that big glass thing
               | in the corner and only had a few dozen things on it, and
               | you had to wait for the right thing to come round?
               | 
               | Sure, I know you do...
        
               | cratermoon wrote:
               | In the US, girls learned how to cook, starting with Easy-
               | Bake(tm) Ovens. Boys learning to cook? Sissy stuff. Boys
               | learned to heat up pizza rolls and play CoD.
        
               | ROTMetro wrote:
               | Huh? I did my own laundry starting from like 10, and
               | cooking the family dinners most nights (until I reached
               | high school and football practice got in the way). Not
               | sure what 'US' you are talking about, maybe the
               | generation before the 80s?
        
               | cratermoon wrote:
               | > maybe the generation before the 80s?
               | 
               | Yeah, I overstated the reality for rhetorical effect, but
               | it also would depend on what part of the US. Gender roles
               | have changed in some places, but not so much in others.
               | 
               | > until I reached high school and football practice got
               | in the way
               | 
               | That says a lot about US culture right there.
        
               | at_a_remove wrote:
               | I got a lot of flak for wanting an Easy-Bake Oven as a
               | boy. My mom was a habitual Burner of Things. Never could
               | quite figure that out. I just wanted to make a brownie
               | that wasn't rock hard crust, you know?
               | 
               | I received similar pushback for taking both Home Ec
               | classes. It was really the only way out of the latchkey
               | kid diet, which, yes, was primarily sandwiches, Steak-
               | Umms, and so on.
        
               | no_wizard wrote:
               | My dad was a 30 year army reserve veteran (served in both
               | the Gulf War and Afghanistan) I would consider him to be
               | a typical American "mans man" and definitely made a point
               | about my brother and I learning how to cook, because its
               | how you make a good impression on the in laws and girls
               | you care about (his words, more or less).
               | 
               | I credit this with why I know how to cook as well as I
               | do. We grew up poor by most standards in the US, but my
               | uncle was a butcher, both grandparents were farmers, so
               | the one thing we had access to was fruits, vegetables and
               | good meats.
               | 
               | Its also why I think i never learned good portion control
               | as a child and still have trouble maintaining a healthy
               | weight (among other reasons I won't get into here), we
               | made very good savory food _all the time_ because its
               | what we had. We had to cook, as take out wasn 't an
               | option, and frozen foods weren't cost effective the same
               | way for us (due to familial professions, we had access to
               | things most people don't in this way).
               | 
               | That's the irony. I feel like I grew up with blander
               | foods I'd be less inclined to eat them so much growing
               | up, feeding a long habit of food being comfort.
        
               | Gordonjcp wrote:
               | Dude how are you going to get a girlfriend if you can't
               | invite her over and make her dinner?
        
               | ashwagary wrote:
               | Girls can eat pizza rolls.
        
               | cratermoon wrote:
               | That's why nice sit-down restaurants with tables for two
               | exist.
        
               | toast0 wrote:
               | Try reading a cookbook without knowing how to cook.
               | 
               | Wtf does medium heat mean? How about simmer?
               | 
               | They're great if you've got a basic understanding of
               | cooking, but not for getting that basic understanding.
        
               | Gordonjcp wrote:
               | There's a glossary of terms in the back.
               | 
               | If you're functionally literate, you can figure it out in
               | no time.
        
               | JumpCrisscross wrote:
               | > _a glossary of terms in the back_
               | 
               | No classic cookbook describes how to listen for medium
               | versus high heat.
        
               | Gordonjcp wrote:
               | Here's the secret - you don't need to!
               | 
               | "Medium heat" is when the ring is half-way up. "High
               | heat" is when the ring is all the way up.
               | 
               | I knew shit like this when I was nine years old, because
               | I knew what words like "medium" and "high" and "heat"
               | meant.
               | 
               | This whole thread is just reinforcing the impression I
               | have that Americans are just permanent children, forever
               | eating scaled-up versions of the children's menu.
        
               | majormajor wrote:
               | Hah, "medium" - based on if the recipe ends up where it
               | should - has been in a different place on the ring on
               | pretty much every brand of stove I've ever had.
               | 
               | Sure you can hack around and get something ok regardless,
               | but...
               | 
               | > maybe it's because the nearest "convenience stores"
               | were a couple of hundred miles away
               | 
               | Gosh, what a wild idea that that would lead to a
               | difference! Combine that with parents without enough free
               | time to be home much in the first place, the rapid
               | availability of processed food that lasts longer and is
               | ready faster, and advertising campaigns that innundated
               | people with these and didn't mention the downsides of the
               | new shit... why are you being so smug about just
               | happening to grow up in a different environment?
        
               | ethbr0 wrote:
               | > _" Medium heat" is when the ring is half-way up. "High
               | heat" is when the ring is all the way up._
               | 
               | Gas or electric? Small or large burner? Cast iron or
               | steel pan?
               | 
               | Kudos to you for being an exceptional nine year old cook,
               | but it's objectively true that most cookbooks are written
               | assuming basic cooking knowledge, the kind one would get
               | from a parent who had time to cook with a child.
        
               | JumpCrisscross wrote:
               | > _"Medium heat " is when the ring is half-way up. "High
               | heat" is when the ring is all the way up._
               | 
               | This hasn't been true anywhere I've lived, except my
               | current house, where I adjusted the gas. In Cupertino,
               | high barely summers. In New York, quarterway turned will
               | sear and instantly burn dry powders. (Also: I grew up
               | overseas.)
        
               | crazygringo wrote:
               | > _" Medium heat" is when the ring is half-way up. "High
               | heat" is when the ring is all the way up._
               | 
               | This is incorrect.
               | 
               | Medium is when the surface of the pan is around 350degF.
               | High is when it's around 450degF. (Low is 250degF.)
               | 
               | How to _get_ and then _maintain_ the surface of the pan
               | at that temperature is probably one of the trickiest
               | skills there is for people to learn. Because obviously if
               | you put an empty pan on the middle of your gas burner
               | dial and just leave it there it will quickly heat up to
               | ultra-hot (550degF+). While if you dump a bunch of watery
               | vegetables in there to saute it will just go down to like
               | 150degF and not heat up further.
               | 
               | In the end setting the right burner strength to maintain
               | your desired temperature is a _crazy_ nonlinear function
               | of heat, pan temperature, pan material (both conductivity
               | and thermal mass), food quantity in pan, food
               | temperature, food water content, and lid on /off. That
               | you learn through just a lot of trial and error,
               | involving a lot of listening for sizzle and seeing
               | bubbles and browning and feeling for radiant heat with
               | your hand. Not by setting the dial to a particular
               | setting.
               | 
               | If you want to know why so many people have difficulty
               | doing something so "basic" as frying an egg, this is why.
               | If you want to know why part of the interview to cook in
               | a restaurant is also quite often... just to fry a single
               | egg... that's why. (It's "fizzbuzz" for cooks.)
               | 
               | Also, please don't do things like insult entire
               | nationalities here. It's very much against HN guidelines.
        
               | kjkjadksj wrote:
               | You can be watching tv while the microwave is running
               | though
        
               | rgrieselhuber wrote:
               | If someone had been there to tell my eleven year old self
               | to just buy a cookbook, I suppose my problems would have
               | been solved!
        
           | astura wrote:
           | With what ingredients?
           | 
           | My parents didn't keep non-frozen and non-boxed food in the
           | house.
        
           | schwartzworld wrote:
           | I was a latchkey kid at an age where I wouldn't have been
           | allowed to use the stove or oven, let alone whip up a meal.
           | 
           | I could have made a salad, but not many 8 year olds would
           | choose those over bagel bites.
        
         | leetrout wrote:
         | Buddy the chef boyardee pizzas are a sham today. I _loved_
         | them.
         | 
         | Today they do not even include cheese in the box.
         | 
         | I wish they would sell the sauce with the mini pepperonis in a
         | jar by itself.
        
           | rgrieselhuber wrote:
           | What a scam. That cheese was critical. Agreed on the sauce
           | and the mini pepperonis.
        
         | rolenthedeep wrote:
         | I grew up in the 90s, and I've never heard of Chef Boyardee
         | pizza. It sounds _dire_
        
           | [deleted]
        
           | nullstyle wrote:
           | You would be totally wrong.
           | 
           | My Mother's pizza is famous amongst my friends and family. It
           | is started from the chef boyardee pizza kit and surprisingly
           | little has changed in her version.
           | 
           | My brothers and our childhood friends are all in our 40's and
           | 50's now, have had pizza all over the world, and momma pizza
           | still ranks.
        
           | rufus_foreman wrote:
           | Wait until you find about Imos.
        
             | ethbr0 wrote:
             | I was dragged there by some work colleagues in Kansas City.
             | 
             | They were super excited and insisted we go.
             | 
             | The conversation went like this "This pizza isn't really
             | that good." "I know! That's the great thing about it!"
             | 
             | Imosholm syndrome is real.
        
         | jhbadger wrote:
         | Exactly. These were foods for US "latchkey kids" in the 1970s
         | and 1980s, not "midcentury" (think _Mad Men_ early 1960s)
         | foods. During this time the rise of having two working parents
         | (or because of rising divorce rates, a single working parent)
         | combined with inflexibility of employers to allow  "flex time"
         | as they often do today, meant that many children often had to
         | prepare their own meals. So simple frozen foods were common as
         | even a grade school child could prepare them.
        
           | [deleted]
        
           | rufus_foreman wrote:
           | 70s was not latchkey kids. I was a kid then. We roamed the
           | streets.
           | 
           | 80s? I don't know, wasn't like that for me. I knew some kids
           | maybe where it was like that for them, I felt sorry for them.
           | 
           | From my perspective, obviously a limited perspective based on
           | the time I grew up, the 1970's was the best time to be a kid
           | in the history of kids.
           | 
           | We roamed the streets, 10 years old, running wild in the
           | streets.
        
             | ethbr0 wrote:
             | I think latchkey just means that kids were often home when
             | a parent wasn't, or was sleeping.
             | 
             | So latchkey kids could also roam the streets.
             | 
             | https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Latchkey_kid
        
             | terran57 wrote:
             | My mom worked a split-shift (3 hours in the morning, and 5
             | hours in evening Wed-Sun). My dad was in the army and was
             | deployed to far-away lands for a significant portion of my
             | life between 8-16 years old. My mom hired a couple of
             | "minders" - but the first one made a baby in our bathroom
             | with her boyfriend, and the second one did nothing but
             | watch TV and sneak some shots of whiskey between TV shows
             | (on the three networks then available). Long story short, I
             | was left to my own devices a lot. My mom tried to make
             | dinner for me - but sometimes (being a growing boy) I was
             | just really hungry - so chef-boy-r-dee pizza was a staple -
             | at least until I learned that one could phone in an order
             | for pizza and have it delivered! Now we were cash-poor, so
             | when wanted spending money, I'd have to go house-to-house
             | to ask if they needed their lawns mowed. I'd get somewhere
             | between $5 or $10 depending on the lawn size and would use
             | the money for pizza delivery once or twice a week. Pretty
             | amazing to think about it - a kid between 10-15 years old
             | being left alone for hours a day and having to go house-to-
             | house to mow lawns for extra money! (let's not forget it
             | was the 70s so things like bike helmets, seat belts and
             | non-smoking areas didn't exist either).
        
               | rufus_foreman wrote:
               | Ten dollars for a lawn?
        
             | lowdest wrote:
             | Latchkey didn't mean locked up at home, rather it meant the
             | child was returning home alone after school and in
             | possession of the home door key.
        
             | germinalphrase wrote:
             | I was 10 in the 90's, and it was the same. Maybe it's
             | regional.
        
             | jhbadger wrote:
             | Same here. But the meaning of a "latchkey" kid is a kid who
             | has to unlock their door to get in their home (because
             | nobody is there when they get home from school) -- this is
             | independent of the concept of a "free range kid" (who may
             | or may not have a parent at home but are just allowed to
             | roam)
        
         | jerbearito wrote:
         | Were they frozen pizzas or kits that you had to prepare?
        
           | rgrieselhuber wrote:
           | Kits. That was the fun thing about it, you'd mix the dough,
           | and add the cheese and sauce. If you were lucky, there were
           | some leftover scraps in the fridge that you could use to add
           | as toppings. Learned the basics of making pizza that way.
        
         | booleandilemma wrote:
         | Lol, for my generation it was hot pockets.
        
           | ethbr0 wrote:
           | That jingle will forever be seared into my brain. Well
           | played, marketing.
        
         | maxerickson wrote:
         | They aren't the same thing because they are quite a bit more
         | costly, but a butcher somewhere in the region makes circular
         | frozen sliced steaks for sandwiches. So much better than Steak-
         | umms.
         | 
         | Similar to what you would get from a butcher for frozen philly
         | cheese steak sandwiches, but not the same.
        
         | datavirtue wrote:
         | I had generic wheat flakes, and if I was lucky, 2% milk.
        
           | tomrod wrote:
           | That is my latchkey experience as well.
        
           | JackFr wrote:
           | Mustard sandwiches.
        
             | bandyaboot wrote:
             | Now that's austere. I usually at least had some bologna I
             | could slap in there.
        
       | sacnoradhq wrote:
       | Oh lord, there's no such thing as a "self-made man" or "pulling
       | oneself up by their bootstraps". It takes one or more rich
       | investors or already having money, customers, employees,
       | partners, vendors, and distributors taking chances on them. To
       | deny this is to give oxygen to the mythologies of
       | hyperindividualism is "good" and success is "achievable" in a
       | vacuum of solitude. It's a lie that denies the credit to those
       | who assisted in the amassing of wealth.
       | 
       | https://www.barrypopik.com/index.php/new_york_city/entry/pul...
       | 
       | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horatio_Alger
       | 
       | https://ideas.time.com/2012/09/07/the-myth-of-bootstrapping/
       | 
       | https://www.democracynow.org/2023/3/29/alissa_quart_bootstra...
        
         | mypornaccount wrote:
         | I mean it sounds like this guy kind of is? People do actually
         | win the lottery.
        
           | sacnoradhq wrote:
           | That's a dumb argument with survivor's bias. The lottery is
           | external to them and present vanishingly-small winnings to
           | people at random without affirmative agency.
           | 
           | People who participate in lotteries are statistically poorer.
           | 
           | https://journalistsresource.org/economics/research-review-
           | lo...
           | 
           | https://themillionairenextdoor.com/2011/09/any-
           | economically-...
        
             | mypornaccount wrote:
             | Are you an AI who can't understand metaphors?
        
               | sacnoradhq wrote:
               | That's rude and unhelpful.
               | 
               | Read the linked material. The metaphor of bootstraps was
               | an impossible and Quixotic feat like perpetual motion
               | that became coopted as a celebrated mythology of "self-
               | made". There is no such animal, friend.
        
               | ilyt wrote:
               | It was in the 50's, not now. The world looked a bit
               | fucking different than now.
        
       | sambapa wrote:
       | I'm part of the Totino's lifestyle, I'll admit it
        
         | rektide wrote:
         | The brand died to me after they stopped making Buffalo Chicken
         | flavor pizza rolls.
        
           | sitzkrieg wrote:
           | i have to admit the faze ones taste kind of like that (but
           | are still nit very good)
        
       | twic wrote:
       | I'm in the UK, never had a pizza roll, still not entirely clear
       | on what one is, but when i was a teenager i did eat a lot of
       | McCain pizza-rollas, which were a sort of soft bread roll filled
       | with pizza topping which you warmed up in the microwave. They
       | were pretty good, probably packed with E-numbers, and a welcome
       | addition at a time before my dad had learned how to cook.
       | 
       | Seen here as part of the broader family of snack-rollas, which
       | had other fillings that weren't as good:
       | 
       | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBW1HQmxgIo
       | 
       | They stopped making them decades ago.
        
         | azinman2 wrote:
         | Pizza rolls are like a fried dumpling with pizza filling (meat,
         | sauce, cheese) on the inside. Better if you bake in oven, but
         | almost everyone will microwave. As sad as that turns out,
         | they're actually very good in a high artificial kind of way.
         | I'm surprised they didn't make it to the UK; it has UK written
         | all over it.
        
       | kentonv wrote:
       | > The VP, in turn, assigned the task to Beatrice (Luoma)
       | Ojakangas, by coincidence, the older sister of the engineer who
       | had developed the egg roll machine for Chun King.
       | 
       | Beatrice is my aunt! (And the inventor of said egg roll machine,
       | Eugene Luoma, is my uncle. He also invented the zip-it drain
       | cleaner and all sorts of other clever things.)
       | 
       | Beatrice kind of hates talking about Pizza Rolls. She'd rather be
       | known for her many cookbooks and other culinary work, not that
       | trash. Jeno merely paid her an hourly wage to come up with
       | different egg roll fillings and pizza was one of the ones she
       | tried. No royalties or anything.
       | 
       | I love pizza rolls, though.
        
       | dauertewigkeit wrote:
       | They seem similiar to meat pies, empanadas and other savoury
       | pastries, except too small to be convenient.
        
         | wil421 wrote:
         | They have a big brother called a hot pocket that's like a nasty
         | meat pie. Both will get nuclear meltdown hot and will burn your
         | mouth.
        
           | cratermoon wrote:
           | Bonus, if you microwave them, you end up with parts of the
           | crust that are still tooth-breakingly frozen.
        
         | jrootabega wrote:
         | They're more convenient to share with a group, and eat with one
         | hand.
         | 
         | And easier for little kids to eat.
        
         | Hippocrates wrote:
         | You're supposed to gobble down a large bowl of them, like
         | jellybeans.
        
           | JasonFruit wrote:
           | , burning your mouth on the first few in your haste.
        
         | michaelbuckbee wrote:
         | The small size makes them easier and quicker to cook (less
         | likely to burn the outside and leave a frozen center).
         | 
         | As they're pretty strictly meant to be eaten at home the need
         | for a plate of them isn't a big deal.
        
       | indymike wrote:
       | I think my kids, if left to their own devices, would survive on a
       | diet of cup-o-noodles, air-fryer cooked pizza rolls, pop-tarts
       | and wash it down with Monster. This also reminds me of the diet
       | of many junior developers.
        
       | leroy-is-here wrote:
       | Pizza rolls were my introduction to Ranch addiction.
        
         | sublinear wrote:
         | Cold ranch dressing from the fridge was the solution to the
         | boiling lava hot pizza roll problem apart from biting the
         | corners to let the steam out.
         | 
         | Most microwaves have "sensor" modes these days though and you
         | don't need to suffer that experience anymore if you're willing
         | to wait a couple more minutes.
        
           | memalign wrote:
           | How do you use sensor modes to cook pizza rolls?
        
             | sublinear wrote:
             | There's a pizza mode. It works. I dunno it's basically
             | magic. Also sensor modes on microwaves tend to work better
             | when the food isn't frozen.
             | 
             | To quickly defrost I will usually stick a bag of pizza
             | rolls in some hot water in the kitchen sink for a minute
             | and if I want them crispy I will finish them in a toaster
             | oven or air fryer.
             | 
             | Anyway my point was just that as an adult capable of basic
             | food prep it seems silly I ever burned my mouth on pizza
             | rolls even though the microwaves were dumber back then.
        
       | naet wrote:
       | Interesting article but please stop disabling default behavior
       | like mobile pinch to zoom! One of the image captions says "if you
       | squint you can make out the list of flavors"... squint is too
       | accurate when I can't zoom in.
        
       | raydev wrote:
       | Oh wow, this hits me hard. I legit have very fond memories of
       | meticulously arranging pizza rolls on a plate to minimize gaps
       | (pizza rolls packing problem), and eating them with a giant glass
       | of Quik chocolate milk.
       | 
       | I then moved to Canada where Totino's does not exist and mourned
       | my loss for years, because that specific type of "tiny calzone
       | with egg roll container" didn't seem to exist up here. Only in
       | the last few years have I seen an equivalent Canadian pizza roll
       | from Pillsbury (Pizza Bites) and they happen to be decent. And if
       | Canadians are reading and confused, I am not referring to those
       | gross "pizza pops", they are not the same.
       | 
       | In response to the article, I'm shocked to learn Totino's didn't
       | invent the idea and they existed all the way back in the 60s. At
       | least from the 90s, I don't recall any other brands being
       | available besides Totino's except Great Value?
        
       | AussieWog93 wrote:
       | Wow, "pizza roll" refers to something very different here in
       | Australia (a bread roll with cheese and bacon on top).
        
       | PopAlongKid wrote:
       | Speaking of mid-century food, I don't recall pizza rolls in my
       | house growing up, but Pop-Tarts (toaster pastries) were a new
       | thing that I had a goodly share of. Very handy to eat on a cold
       | morning before going out to deliver newspapers door to door.
       | 
       | Pop tarts are also a bastardization of some other more
       | traditional food but I don't know which right now.
       | 
       | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pop-Tarts
        
         | hamstercat wrote:
         | Hindbaersnitter? It's a danish dessert with raspberry filling
         | and icing on top. It's very much a better pop tarts.
        
         | fortran77 wrote:
         | Well, it's a member of the fruit-filled tart family, I suppose,
         | like the Norman Tart, etc.
         | 
         | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_tart
        
         | BuyMyBitcoins wrote:
         | On a nostalgic whim I bought some Pop Tarts recently. The
         | amount of filling and icing has dropped dramatically and they
         | tasted awful as a result.
         | 
         | If you look at how they apply the icing you can clearly see how
         | they started putting less and less on each pop tart. I don't
         | buy these things because I want to eat the crust!
        
           | gizmo686 wrote:
           | I had a similar experience a few years back.
           | 
           | Then, on a more recent whim, I bought some store branded
           | toaster pastries from my local grocery store, and they were
           | exactly the Pop Tarts I remembered.
        
             | kraussvonespy wrote:
             | I'm finding the same with other products too. There are a
             | bunch of Aldi generic foods (like Mac & Cheese, tortillas,
             | salsa, corn chips) that I like the taste of better than the
             | more expensive name brand. Does this mean that the brand
             | name has been reducing quality over time where the generics
             | have been sticking more to their original recipe?
        
               | AlecSchueler wrote:
               | Genenerics often have better overheads because the
               | company takes profit on more points of the production and
               | supply chain.
               | 
               | They're also producing products in almost every aisle of
               | the supermarket and gain an economy of scale on things
               | like only needing a single one of eg house style for
               | every product.
        
         | kraussvonespy wrote:
         | Maybe just another derivative of the turnover or pocket pie?
         | Empanadas, pasties, calzones, bierocks/Runzas, samosas all fall
         | into the turnover category. Alton Brown's Good Eats had at
         | least one show on turnovers and some of the different ethnic
         | variations.
        
           | maxerickson wrote:
           | I would guess from pie iron sandwiches more than from an oven
           | baked pastry.
        
         | yareally wrote:
         | Strudel?
         | 
         | https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strudel
        
           | KAMSPioneer wrote:
           | Ahh, this reminds me of Toaster Strudel, of which I ate more
           | as a child than I did Pop Tarts.
        
       | michaelbuckbee wrote:
       | One unremarked aspect of pizza rolls that I suspect is a
       | universal "kid growing up in the US" experience is burning the
       | ever loving hell out of your mouth with one as the the outside
       | cools pretty quickly while the inside is molten for much too
       | long.
        
         | rythmshifter wrote:
         | And the clever novelty of biting off one or two tiny corners to
         | allow that heat to escape to some degree.
        
           | qbasic_forever wrote:
           | Also if you thought you were clever and cut one in half to
           | let it cool, then you would only find a sad shell of a pizza
           | roll with all its guts leaking out into a congealed mess of
           | cheese and pizza goo.
        
         | exar0815 wrote:
         | Living near the dutch border, you get "kaassouffle" in a lot of
         | places. Its basically breaded, deep fried gouda cheese. While I
         | love them, I always warn friends tasting them for the first
         | time - they can really ruin your mouth.
        
           | twic wrote:
           | Kaassouffle is great and i don't know why it hasn't spread to
           | higher-altitude parts of the world. I found the key to eating
           | it safely was to have a glass of cold beer to hand.
        
             | gattilorenz wrote:
             | In italy something very similar (sofficini) is quite
             | common, but associated to kids food.
             | 
             | They also sell them with various additional fillings, such
             | as cheese and ham, mushrooms, mozzarella and tomato
             | (becoming something like Pizza rolls, I guess)... i always
             | wondered why there's really only one type of kaassouffle,
             | really.
        
         | subpixel wrote:
         | I still burn my mouth on hot pizza more than half the time I
         | eat it! Because it is worth it.
        
         | jrootabega wrote:
         | Microwave burritos iterated on that tradition by ensuring that
         | you could pick exactly one of:
         | 
         | 1. contents erupt from the corner like a volcano in the
         | microwave
         | 
         | 2. burrito unrolls itself during heating
         | 
         | 3. mostly ice cold inside (although some ice cold spots will
         | still happen in #1 and #2)
        
           | manachar wrote:
           | Or:
           | 
           | 4. Learn how to use the power setting of the microwave to
           | ensure even heating.
        
             | Rebelgecko wrote:
             | I've found that a good happy medium is to put something in
             | the microwave for half the recommended time, then move it
             | to the oven for half the recommended oven time.
        
               | nemo44x wrote:
               | There are hybrid microwave/oven combos today that
               | essentially do this. They run a low microwave function
               | while also baking your food.
               | 
               | They're commonly called "speed ovens". I have one and
               | it's a nice thing to use for various things.
        
             | saalweachter wrote:
             | It was life changing when I learned that if you set the
             | stove correctly, it's almost impossible to make a bad
             | pancake.
        
               | wincy wrote:
               | Ah yeah slow heat for longer trick. Like if I cook a
               | steak in the oven for an hour at 250 then throw it on the
               | grill people think I've become some master chef.
        
               | ethbr0 wrote:
               | Once I figured out that cooking is mostly optimizing
               | water while hitting the desired through-doneness and char
               | points, my food markedly improved. Everything about low
               | and slow makes a lot more sense then!
        
               | treeman79 wrote:
               | Adding water to pan for Bacon is a new hack. One guy did
               | a bunch of experiments to see what worked and scientific
               | reasons why.
               | 
               | https://youtu.be/PCW6dlBD-_g
        
               | fsckboy wrote:
               | whhaaat? i cook a steak for 1/2 hour in the oven on 200,
               | and sear it in a pan (don't have a grill, am jelly) and
               | sometimes risk over-cooking it?
               | 
               | with pancakes, while you don't want it tooo too hot, you
               | do want a hot pan to sizzle fry some crispy edges on
               | there. i like a little "crack" of the crust, not a steamy
               | on the outside cake.
        
               | fsckboy wrote:
               | what? whether it's a great or only a good pancake is
               | decided in the batter phase. bad pancakes come from
               | whatever that flavor of instant cake mix is called, cake-
               | plasticine.
        
               | klyrs wrote:
               | No, you can _definitely_ ruin perfectly good batter on a
               | griddle that 's too hot or too cold.
        
               | saalweachter wrote:
               | Yeah, if you've ever heard jokes about "the first
               | pancake"[0] or burnt your pancakes when you get
               | distracted by the rest of breakfast, do yourself a favor
               | and set your griddle to 325F/160C.
               | 
               | Your pancakes can sit at 325F for a long time before they
               | burn, and that alleviates the fear of burning that leads
               | you to flip that first pancake too fast.
               | 
               | [0] https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=The%2
               | 0First%...
        
             | wincy wrote:
             | Good point.
             | 
             | Do you think I could get rid of my electric stove in my
             | kitchen, then use that plug and buy a 4000W microwave to
             | get it to heat up even faster instead?
        
             | jrootabega wrote:
             | I think you misunderstand the mindset of microwave burrito
             | eaters.
        
               | thrashh wrote:
               | I microwave a burrito 'cus I want a burrito now.
               | 
               | Mouth be damned.
        
           | rascul wrote:
           | For two burritos in my microwave:
           | 
           | 1. Position burritos on plate so the fold is on top and
           | facing out
           | 
           | 2. Microwave on high for 1 minute
           | 
           | 3. Turn burritos over so fold is on bottom and facing in, so
           | that if the fold busts it stays on the plate
           | 
           | 4. Poke three sets of holes in top of each burrito with fork,
           | evenly spaced
           | 
           | 5. Microwave on high for 45 seconds
           | 
           | I have fine tuned my microwave burrito skills over the
           | decades to have a perfectly microwaved burrito that is both
           | not cold and doesn't burst. Problem is, there's no 45 second
           | button on the microwave, so I usually press 2 for two minutes
           | (if I give it a few seconds it'll start on it's own) and I
           | try to make it back in time. I don't always get it and the
           | ends might bust just a little bit.
        
         | realjhol wrote:
         | In the UK we had Pop Tarts and McDonalds Apple Pies for that.
        
           | indymike wrote:
           | Add about 200degC to the filling temperature and you capture
           | the difference.
        
       | girafffe_i wrote:
       | [dead]
        
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