[HN Gopher] Lessons from a Pessimist: Make Your Pessimism Produc...
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       Lessons from a Pessimist: Make Your Pessimism Productive
        
       Author : earthboundkid
       Score  : 112 points
       Date   : 2023-03-20 16:10 UTC (6 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (lucumr.pocoo.org)
 (TXT) w3m dump (lucumr.pocoo.org)
        
       | ksd482 wrote:
       | _Rather than becoming despondent about AI, my pessimistic side
       | assumes that things can go wrong and acts accordingly, all while
       | giving the technology a fair chance._
       | 
       | This is what I was looking for. I like the idea the author is
       | presenting here, but I was hoping that he would focus more on
       | what to do when you have a pessimistic thought.
       | 
       | That is, using a pessimistic thought as a cue and reacting with
       | thinking about it as an opportunity to improve something or even
       | accepting it as a reality without approving or disapproving and
       | coming up with a pragmatic response.
        
       | giantg2 wrote:
       | I'm too pessimistic about your claims to try.
        
       | j45 wrote:
       | Doubt-worshipping ultimately seeks to reinforce the doubts and
       | finds ways to continue doing so, and spread.
       | 
       | Having a healthy dose and harmony of pragmatic realism but still
       | a willingness to dive into the unknown to try with an open mind
       | and heart is another thing.
       | 
       | Innovation that's accessible for the many is often only possible
       | from a mindset of possibility exploring and developing
       | capabilities.
        
       | clumsysmurf wrote:
       | July Norem described "defensive pessimism" in "The Positive Power
       | Of Negative Thinking" (2001). I found it useful as a musician at
       | the time. I always wondered, how my setup / gear would fail while
       | setting up before a concert.
        
       | japhyr wrote:
       | > And as cheesy as it sounds, try to surround yourself with
       | supportive individuals who can help you maintain a positive
       | outlook and try to be that person for others.
       | 
       | One of the things I keep coming back to over the last few days is
       | the increasing value of face to face interactions.
       | 
       | It's been possible, and even easy, to fake pictures for quite a
       | while. Recently we've had to treat videos with the same degree of
       | skepticism we've been looking at pictures with. Now we're having
       | to shift that kind of skepticism to all non face to face
       | interactions.
       | 
       | Like a lot of people here, probably most, I've formed a number of
       | really meaningful long-term friendships with people I've never
       | met, largely mediated over text interactions. I won't be
       | surprised if, over the next decade or two, people end up
       | developing "friendships" with what turn out to be bots.
       | 
       | What kinds of interactions can we let our guard down and fully
       | trust as authentic? Face to face interactions will be there for a
       | long time. Real-time interactions with people we know and trust
       | over a distance will be reliable for a while, although if they're
       | demanding something unusual we'd have to wonder if they're being
       | faked.
       | 
       | The suggestion to make time for meaningful, direct interactions
       | with other people is a really important one.
        
         | Loughla wrote:
         | >What kinds of interactions can we let our guard down and fully
         | trust as authentic? Face to face interactions will be there for
         | a long time.
         | 
         | Oh man are you going to be pissed when you learn about this:
         | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confidence_trick
        
           | aliasxneo wrote:
           | AKA the metagame of Eve Online.
        
       | haswell wrote:
       | I think the message is at its core a good one, but I think
       | there's a meaningful/important difference between pessimism and
       | having the ability/capacity to defensively imagine all the ways
       | in which something could go wrong. I think the author alludes to
       | this somewhat, but I don't think this is quite as simple as "I'm
       | being pragmatically and usefully pessimistic, but be careful with
       | the pessimistic tendency".
       | 
       | Pessimism seems to be pervasive, and can spill into other areas
       | of life. The form of pragmatism described can be learned, self
       | contained, and is not inherently a pessimistic endeavor, even if
       | pessimism is a natural pathway to the skill.
       | 
       | Pessimism was hammered into me from an early age. I, too, saw my
       | pessimism as a pragmatic tool to be used as I solved problems in
       | the world, and I applied it as such. I allowed this application
       | of pessimism to turn into an acceptance that I was just a
       | pessimistic person, but that's ok <because here's how it helps
       | me>. The trouble is that this is also a path that leads to
       | learned helplessness, a state that by definition one is unable to
       | escape without some kind of intervention or new awareness,
       | because to be in this state is to be unaware of the alternatives.
       | 
       | It took quite a few years for me to truly see the dark side, and
       | how my pessimism had actually permeated many other aspects of how
       | I think. And how my success in channeling my pessimism had made
       | me blind to that permeation and the negative impact it had on
       | other parts of my life and daily experience.
       | 
       | I don't think the people around me saw me as a pessimistic
       | person, but the internal states left behind by this default state
       | of mind were quite harmful. I realized that it contributed
       | significantly to unhelpful rumination about other things in life.
       | It contributed greatly to my depression and other forms of stuck-
       | ness. It left me missing out on opportunities that I discarded by
       | default.
       | 
       | Therapy for the traumatic upbringing that birthed the pessimistic
       | defaults was a huge first step, but the book Learned Optimism
       | (has been mentioned in a few threads lately) is must-read if you
       | find yourself anywhere on the pessimism spectrum. It reframed
       | pessimism for me in a way that was very important, and helped me
       | see that my pragmatic use of pessimism - while useful - did not
       | require me to maintain a pessimistic outlook.
       | 
       | Pessimism trained me to think defensively about problems, but is
       | ultimately an artifact that is unnecessary to continue such a
       | practice. I've got a ways to go, but rewiring the pessimistic
       | patterns of thought has made life much better, and I haven't lost
       | my ability to think critically (and when needed, pessimistically)
       | about problems that require this mindset.
        
       | glacials wrote:
       | The word that describes what the author calls destructive
       | pessimism is defeatism--an expectation and acceptance of failure.
       | This itself causes failure.
        
       | vjk800 wrote:
       | I've had very similar thoughts about pessimism. I certainly am
       | one.
       | 
       | The fact that I don't expect a very good outcome doesn't mean I
       | shouldn't try, because what the hell else can I do? At worst, I
       | get useful information out of my (likely) failures.
       | 
       | Also, thinking and preparing for the worst doesn't need to be a
       | gloomy thing. It can even be empowering. When I've thought of all
       | the possible crappy outcomes that might happen, I can be
       | confident that whatever happens, I'll survive. I wish more people
       | were like me; I'm confident that lots of disasters in the world
       | could be avoided if people just took their heads out from the
       | sand and embraced all the horrible possibilities that exist.
        
         | aliasxneo wrote:
         | Eh, I see it as a double-edged sword. My pessimism has likely
         | contributed to my decade of success in high-stakes environments
         | (i.e., nuclear). However, I've struggled with anxiety my entire
         | adult life.
         | 
         | So yeah, I wish more people could find that middle place, but
         | the extreme end can be debilitating for those like me.
        
         | EvanAnderson wrote:
         | _Also, thinking and preparing for the worst doesn 't need to be
         | a gloomy thing. It can even be empowering._
         | 
         | It absolutely is. When things go wrong I have already thought
         | about the triage and backup plans. The situation will still by
         | dynamic, but I won't be scrambling to begin making plans. I'll
         | be be refining what I've already thought about to match the new
         | reality.
         | 
         | It feels pretty badass to be thrown a curveball and not be
         | phased. I can only do that if I've considered what could go
         | wrong and planned for contingencies.
        
         | sohtym wrote:
         | > When I've thought of all the possible crappy outcomes that
         | might happen, I can be confident that whatever happens, I'll
         | survive.
         | 
         | I've heard this before, but it never worked for me because I
         | can imagine things going pretty bad. I do think there is a lot
         | of undue optimism. An assumption that things will work out.
         | They often don't. Maybe worrying about nuclear war isn't that
         | productive, but we should all be a lot more worried about
         | things like working environment, rising inequality and the cost
         | of living. Ask Japan.
        
       | gingerlime wrote:
       | I found this BBC podcast[0] quite insightful about optimism vs
       | pessimism. One interesting thing is that there are far more
       | optimists than pessimists in the population. If I recall it's a
       | 9:1 ratio.
       | 
       | [0] https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/w3ct1prd
        
       | trashface wrote:
       | Destructive pessimists are often formerly functional pessimistic.
       | Once life throws enough hardballs at you, its easy to devolve
       | into this state. Economic strife is one big reason. People who
       | are unemployed or underemployed often realize they made some bad
       | choices, but they also know they have been screwed by choices
       | their society has made, which often seem quite arbitrary or even
       | malicious.
       | 
       | This is the case with inflation, it changes the game of living
       | "just because", and some people feel the pain and others not so
       | much. Those who can't renegotiate for higher income are just
       | going to be more negative, and that will percolate one way or
       | another up to those who are better off.
       | 
       | Right now in the US we have the spectacle of big banks being
       | bailed out for irresponsible management at the same time food
       | assistance for poor people is being cut back (the expiration of
       | pandemic-related SNAP expansion). Wealthy people are being
       | rightsized while poor people literally starve. Threats to banks
       | are considered a systemic risk, but hunger in the population
       | isn't. I'd like to find an optimist to explain what is good about
       | that to me, unfortunately I don't know any.
        
       | luhn wrote:
       | If you read any Emotional Intelligence self-help books, you'll
       | find a definition of optimism/pessimism that's similar to what OP
       | is talking about. The lay definition of optimism is thinking
       | things are great, Emotional Intelligence defines it as "rolling
       | with the punches" when things get bad, and most importantly
       | avoiding vicious emotional cycles where a small problem can
       | spiral into an entire day ruined. A lot of so-called "optimists"
       | are actually pessimists that are in denial about bad things
       | because they're unable to emotional handle them.
       | 
       | I think that's a good lens at which to look at it, because it
       | doesn't matter whether you think a situation is "good" or "bad",
       | what matters is how you deal with it. OP's "pragmatic pessimism"
       | is actually optimism by this definition, and I agree with OP that
       | it's overall a positive trait--Although it does require
       | maintaining some social cognizance, because many people do not
       | particularly _like_ a tendency to proactively identify problems.
        
       | andrewstuart wrote:
       | Armin Ronacher is a super smart guy, a leader in the Python
       | community and a real giver in terms of his really significant
       | open source output including Flask, itsdangerous and others. He
       | is to be praised and thanked for his excellent work.
       | 
       | It is true however that he was super pessimistic about Python 3
       | and was one of the leading voices for a long time talking down
       | Python 3.
       | 
       | Python 3s transition was a lesson in how not to do things, but
       | history has shown ultimately Python 3 did not kill Python, it led
       | to Python 3 becoming one of the worlds most successful languages,
       | despite the pessimism and naysayers.
        
         | the_mitsuhiko wrote:
         | Author here:
         | 
         | > It is true however that he was super pessimistic about Python
         | 3 and was one of the leading voices for a long time talking
         | down Python 3.
         | 
         | I strongly advocated against underestimating the cost of
         | migration, which is also why I argued for bringing back the `u`
         | prefix for strings to make supporting 2.x and 3.x work at the
         | same time. I also built a tool to modernize Python codebases to
         | support both at once. I think in retrospective I was not wrong
         | about that the transition will take time.
         | 
         | I don't think the migration to 3.x would have been any faster
         | if I would have pretended it's easy :)
        
           | sitkack wrote:
           | I followed your arguments, and frankly you continue to be
           | more right over time. We happened to get lucky that Python
           | and Data Science and then by extension AIML aligned because
           | that really did carry Python over the 2-3 chasm.
           | 
           | There should be a book in the style of the Mythical Man Month
           | about discontinuous tech stack transitions (Python 2 to 3).
           | Or ecosystem splitting issues (Phobos/Tango), or Package
           | Management (C++).
           | 
           | I don't view your engineering mindset as pessimism, I view it
           | as realist. My take is that engineering is 80% failure
           | mitigation, but if we don't do solid failure analysis we will
           | only get lucky 1/5 the time. I think this is why we see so
           | many software projects fail.
           | 
           | Backporting Python3 features to Python2 would have made the
           | transition _go faster_ for everyone. You are on a hike with a
           | bunch of scouts, huge range of gear and physical and
           | emotional ability, you don 't bitch at the fast ones to go
           | slower, you don't bitch at the slow ones to go faster, you
           | redistribute the load, and if the fast ones are still fast,
           | you give them enough supplies to start setting up camp ahead
           | of the rest of the group.
        
           | andrewstuart wrote:
           | Even today Python 3 makes conversion between bytes and
           | Unicode and ascii too hard.
           | 
           | After many years Python programming I still have to look up
           | which direction encode and decode point when converting
           | bytes/strings/whatever.
           | 
           | Python 3 still suffers from not having simple, explicit
           | functions for converting such a string_to_ascii or whatever.
           | Python was meant to be about providing explicit obvious one
           | way to do something but encode and decode are a giant fail in
           | this area and I think this is a primary reason why Python 2
           | to Python 3 was so hard for people.
           | 
           | I am quite pessimistic about this. Still not fixed or even
           | acknowledged as a problem today.
           | 
           | If developers have to keep looking something up over and over
           | then the developer is thick or the programming language has
           | failed usability in that area.
        
             | js2 wrote:
             | I've been using Python since 1.5.2. I find converting a
             | Python 2 codebase to Python 3 fairly challenging because it
             | cannot be done mechanically. You have to carefully consider
             | each string and whether it is bytes or a string.
             | 
             | But for new Python 3 code, I do not find it painful at all.
             | The reason for the transition (to distinct byte/string
             | types) was that it was too easy to confuse the two in
             | Python 2.
             | 
             | Is your critique that you don't feel that the distinct
             | types are needed, or that it's too difficult to convert
             | from bytes to string and vice-versa?
             | 
             | I'm not sure how it can be much easier: b"".decode("utf8")
             | and "".encode("utf8") are quite clear to me.
             | 
             | Is it just that decode/encode are hard to remember? You
             | could use str(b"", "utf8") and bytes("", "utf8"). Careful
             | with str(b"", "utf8") though because if you leave out the
             | encoding you'll get back a string, but probably not the
             | string you want.
        
               | andrewstuart wrote:
               | >>> I'm not sure how it can be much easier:
               | b"".decode("utf8") and "".encode("utf8") are quite clear
               | to me.
               | 
               | They look arcane and unclear to me. Which direction is
               | encode and which is decode? What does decode and encode
               | actually mean? There should be some hint in the function
               | name.
               | 
               | Here is a question for you.... for the example you give,
               | what are all the possible permutations of every possible
               | component of each command?
               | 
               | What happens if you prefix encode with b? What if you
               | don't prefix decode with b? What other possible values
               | can go in the brackets? Can I encode and decode all types
               | of input?
        
               | tremon wrote:
               | What's stopping you from finding the answers to these
               | questions yourself?
               | 
               |  _What happens if you prefix encode with b?_
               | >>> b'these are bytes'.encode('utf8')       Traceback
               | (most recent call last):         File "<stdin>", line 1,
               | in <module>       AttributeError: 'bytes' object has no
               | attribute 'encode'
               | 
               | _What if you don't prefix decode with b?_
               | >>> 'this is a string'.decode('utf8')       Traceback
               | (most recent call last):         File "<stdin>", line 1,
               | in <module>       AttributeError: 'str' object has no
               | attribute 'decode'
               | 
               | _What other possible values can go in the brackets? Can I
               | encode and decode all types of input?_
               | 
               | https://docs.python.org/3/library/codecs.html#standard-
               | encod...
               | 
               | Proper Unicode handling is hard for developers because
               | many prefer not to think about it at all. Do you have an
               | example of a language that has a Unicode conversion API
               | that does work for you?
        
               | js2 wrote:
               | You encode from a Unicode string to bytes and decode from
               | bytes to a Unicode string. Remember that things like
               | "utf8" and "ascii" are so called "encodings" of Unicode.
               | Base64 is also an encoding (of bytes to ascii).
               | 
               | Now the terms encode and decode may be jargon, but they
               | are not terms that Python made up. This is standard
               | terminology for our industry.
               | 
               | I understand you find them arcane and unclear. I'm not
               | trying to convince you otherwise. Which is why I
               | suggested the alternative of using bytes("", encoding)
               | and str(b"", encoding) as an option that you might find
               | more clear.
               | 
               | Maybe Python should have named these to_bytes() and
               | to_string() instead. I can't argue against that. I'm only
               | saying that I don't find encode/decode unclear and that
               | they are standard industry terminology.
        
               | andrewstuart wrote:
               | I'm not asking you to explain it to me. You explaining
               | does not make the commands easy.
               | 
               | I'm addressing the point that you made that the commands
               | are obvious, they're not.
               | 
               | I was asking you to identify all the permutations because
               | that is what makes those commands complex and need
               | constant looking up.
        
       | HPsquared wrote:
       | "The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the
       | parachute." - George Bernard Shaw
        
         | hinkley wrote:
         | I can't recall which design book I was reading, but there was
         | an anecdote about having to make destructive changes to a
         | building because they installed equipment that could 'never
         | break' into the concrete superstructure with no access points.
         | 
         | It will astonish exactly nobody here, with or without that
         | setup, that they had to drill into a concrete wall to get
         | access to the thing when it eventually broke.
         | 
         | Hope for the Best, Plan for the Worst.
        
       | jjoonathan wrote:
       | Pessimism about pessimism is the strongest case for optimism
       | about optimism.
        
       | prpl wrote:
       | I've been around pessimists, which can have different flavors,
       | and while it can be draining, it can also be strangely motivating
       | - some of my best work is frankly adversarial pessimists.
        
         | skeeter2020 wrote:
         | I (half-jokingly, half-serious) refer to myself as a naive
         | pessimist: I expect the worst then I'm continually surprised
         | when I get it. It's not about being overly (and overtly)
         | negative, but more your perspective on risk & mitigation. If
         | you are a pessimist like me I would caution you to not surround
         | yourself with many other pessimists, as there's definitely a
         | tendency to ride the junk food high of the downward spiral when
         | we congregate.
        
       | jrvarela56 wrote:
       | We're all a bit more anxious/pessimist than what's objectively
       | needed for a situation - natural selection, etc.
       | 
       | Writing about my plans has helped me give my anxiety/pessimism a
       | productive job: help me spot what makes me doubt/worry so I can
       | probe further. Identifying these items where conviction is low,
       | makes me explore my motivations, look up data to validate my
       | claims and breakdown my plans further.
       | 
       | The worrying becomes a task about finding what needs to be
       | validated/double checked. If I'm assuming X isn't going to work
       | because Y, then I can lookup evidence/data or make more specific
       | questions. What I like about it is that it generates actionables
       | - the worrying for it's own sake eats up my motivation but having
       | a checklist of stuff that I need to look into gives me an outlet.
        
         | blowski wrote:
         | > We're all a bit more anxious/pessimist than what's
         | objectively needed for a situation
         | 
         | You should meet my product manager and reconsider.
        
       | waboremo wrote:
       | The easiest distinction is being publicly optimistic and
       | privately pessimistic. It seems "two faced" but it's not let me
       | explain.
       | 
       | Being privately pessimistic has huge benefits, listed in the
       | article and on other comments. Your planning becomes more
       | effective, you're less starry-eyed with what actions you are
       | actually taking. You become a foundation for those around you.
       | 
       | But being publicly pessimistic does not have the same benefits.
       | While it's true you can gain a lot of fame/money by being
       | pessimistic on social media, it's also internally destructive.
       | You stop believing in yourself and those around you. It's the
       | very reason why so many "critics" (I put this in quotations
       | because 99.9% don't have any sort of standards) fail to be able
       | to produce anything noteworthy in the fields they obsess over.
       | They just become this sort of endless monotony of could've
       | would've should've but projected onto others. Everyone knows a
       | bunch of people like this, talented but they spend most of their
       | time being so publicly pessimistic about whatever the subject is.
       | Some workplaces are so toxic because the "decision maker" is
       | nothing but a public pessimist.
       | 
       | It's so important to recognize what you are putting out into the
       | world through your voice/words, and what is really happening when
       | you are being publicly pessimistic. Are you actually criticizing
       | for improvement, or are you creating a rift in a community?
       | Sounds dramatic but this is what happens in a lot of open source
       | communities, public pessimism becomes the norm because it's
       | easier than criticism you are a part of fixing.
        
         | nkjnlknlk wrote:
         | I 100% agree. I know pessimism stops me from taking risks (and
         | likely rewards), so I'd never subject others to that pessimism
         | and try to be outwardly supportive/optimistic towards their
         | goals.
         | 
         | That being said, I find that many workplaces are overly
         | optimistic and need some pessimism/realism to ground the
         | processes.
        
         | Melatonic wrote:
         | Not sure I agree with this - I like the part about being
         | privately pessismistic (or I would probably instead describe it
         | as being privately skeptical). But I have found it works best
         | to try to mirror the other person (or persons). If you walk
         | into a room and know that everyone are the kind of people that
         | find pessismism and skeptics funny then roll with that. Etc
         | etc. Essentially know your audience.
        
           | waboremo wrote:
           | I don't know, while I do agree with some level of mirroring
           | (usually superficially, like mirroring other confident people
           | at a networking event), I don't believe anyone should do so
           | for repeated interactions. It's just another form of people
           | pleasing, and the harms of that are miles long.
           | 
           | Worse yet, this tactic can very quickly become machiavellian.
           | Good luck undoing that!
        
         | [deleted]
        
       | lifeisstillgood wrote:
       | This is an interesting comparison between the "what makes an
       | entrepreneur" post of a day or so ago.
       | 
       | Entrepreneurs can be defined as optimists - and yet it needs a
       | pragmatic pessimist to actually build something that works
        
       | js2 wrote:
       | A pragmatic pessimist is just a realist, no?
       | 
       | I gripe _all the time_. It's part of my being. It's just what my
       | family does. I'm Jewish and so I also associate with it
       | culturally. But importantly, it doesn't get us (my family) down.
       | I consider it just observing the world. It's quite
       | stereotypically Jewish to complain and then say "not that I'm
       | complaining." My daughter inherited this lovely (that's sarcasm,
       | another thing that runs in my family) trait from me. My son did
       | not.
       | 
       | I really have to check myself before complaining around other
       | people. And around my wife. Because I recognize that a lot of
       | people, most even, don't want to hear it.
       | 
       | A friend once said about me: "Some people think the glass is half
       | full, others that it's half empty. You just think the water
       | sucks." :-)
        
         | Melatonic wrote:
         | Or maybe you just need to improve your sense of humour so that
         | all those other people find you hilarious too :-D
        
         | bitwize wrote:
         | > I'm Jewish and so I also associate with it culturally.
         | 
         | It's interesting that your culture came up with one of the best
         | words to describe the useless, resigned, ambient complaining
         | that we're all so tempted to engage in when it seems the world
         | wants to kill us with 1000 papercuts: _kvetching_.
        
         | xyzelement wrote:
         | I am likewise Jewish and I do think there's some cultural
         | tendency towards observation that you're describing (hence,
         | perhaps the over-representation of our people among both
         | comedians and scientists)
         | 
         | But perhaps there's a big difference between observation and
         | griping (to use your word) - in the outcome. Observation can
         | lead to improvement: I saw something, I called it out, and then
         | I or someone else can fix it. Complaining to me is the non-
         | actionable form of observation - making a lot of noise but
         | either leading to no improvement or actually discouraging
         | yourself and others from taking action around the topic.
        
         | hinkley wrote:
         | As a Highly Sensitive Person, life has taught me that if I
         | smell smoke or hear scratching sounds, if I don't say something
         | then the problem may fester for hours or days before anyone
         | else even notices. If I shout, "What are the dogs doing?" from
         | two rooms away, I often find out that I have family members in
         | the same room as the dogs who have no idea they're chewing on
         | something they shouldn't be. Like seriously? They're _right in
         | front of you_.
         | 
         | As an easily distracted person, if I don't shop ideas for
         | others to adopt, odds are good that they will get forgotten.
         | 
         | So sure, call me a 'complainer'. My better bosses call me a
         | scout or a lookout.
        
           | scns wrote:
           | I suspect for a long time, that high-sensitivity is the same
           | as ADD. All filters wide open, especially for noise.
           | Lookout/Scout? For sure. Nack in tribal times it was an
           | asset, to have individuals who sleept long and stayed up
           | late, saved up to 150 lives in case of emergency. Nowadays it
           | is work, to find a niche to thrive in. Meditation and Ritalin
           | might help you, being able to experience noise in a different
           | way. A the best.
        
             | SoftAnnaLee wrote:
             | Personally, I suspect it's autism rather than ADHD (and
             | Inattentive-type ADHD, AKA: ADD). In my experience the
             | people I've known who have just ADHD tend to be better at
             | filtering out external stimuli than those I've known with
             | Autism. And likewise the folks I've known who have both
             | ADHD and Autism tend to have a harder time filtering out
             | stimuli, or getting distracted by particular stimuli, than
             | those with just ADHD.
             | 
             | That said, my own personal (and very unscientific) theory
             | is that ADHD and Autism are merely differing manifestations
             | of the same neurological phenomenon. So I could see that
             | somebody who has ADHD might be more sensitive than a
             | neurotypical person.
        
               | tayo42 wrote:
               | Doesn't autism have a whole set of extra social issues
               | like not being able to understand emotions of others?
        
               | hinkley wrote:
               | One of the things I've picked up reading HSP literature
               | is that the human brain regresses when pushed past its
               | limits. You go into fight, flight, or freeze, and from
               | there everyone starts to look the same - like a petulant
               | toddler. Part of self care is giving yourself permission
               | not to torture yourself. To wear earplugs, prefer quiet
               | restaurants, to ask the host of a party to please stop
               | burning incense like it's Christmas Mass, or to just give
               | yourself permission to pop in and then leave after an
               | hour.
               | 
               | There's overlap between HSP and alcoholism as well.
               | Needing to get smashed at a party in order to 'relax' is
               | more than just decompressing after a hard workweek.
               | Alcohol dulls the senses.
        
             | hinkley wrote:
             | It isn't though. Sensory processing also shows up on the
             | Autism spectrum (famously, even), but also in people who
             | have neither. The latest numbers have upward of 30% of
             | people classed as Highly Sensitive (HSP), and 20% as low
             | sensitivity. Most HSPs self-identify as 'introverts' unless
             | some other label sticks first.
             | 
             | So the dynamic I propose is that an HSP is going to out
             | themselves for any other ways they're neurodivergent. ADHD
             | people getting distracted by every background noise, every
             | smell. Asperger's people hitting their limits and flaming
             | out, and ADHD people hitting _their_ limits and flaming
             | out, (in roughly chronological order).
             | 
             | I suspect we will find the Venn diagram of HSP and adult
             | diagnosis of ADHD/autism is going to be thin compared to
             | child diagnosis (and unfortunately mostly female, because
             | there's still a lot of internalized sexism around well
             | behaved girls). Few have the coping mechanisms to escape
             | notice.
        
         | m463 wrote:
         | I've also noticed that some people take complaining very
         | personally. You have to be careful around those sensitive
         | souls.
        
       | totemandtoken wrote:
       | A pragmatist is a realist is a pessimist is a nihilist is a
       | pragmatist is a realist...
        
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