[HN Gopher] For long-term health and happiness, marriage still m...
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For long-term health and happiness, marriage still matters
Author : lxm
Score : 20 points
Date : 2023-03-19 15:10 UTC (7 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (www.wsj.com)
(TXT) w3m dump (www.wsj.com)
| xyzzy4747 wrote:
| I can't read the article because of the paywall. But I have to
| say, when I was single several years ago, my happiness was maybe
| a 4-5 on a scale of 1-10. I used to feel lonely all the time.
| Right now I'm married and expecting our first child, and I'd rate
| it a 7-8 (depending on my mood). Some of that is from being more
| financially secure though.
| neonate wrote:
| https://archive.ph/zWIAT
| chiefalchemist wrote:
| Do relationships matter? Yes, of course. We're social beings.
|
| That said, and not to get off topic, my theory is we'll eventual
| discover that there is a gut microbiome component to couples
| living longer than singles. For much the same reason studies say
| people with pets live longer. Yes, there's the emotional
| companionship (that impacts the physical) but there is also the
| exposure to another's bacteria.
|
| Again, just a theory. But the more I read about "the gut" the
| more important and influential it's becoming.
|
| *based on readings, often here on HN, I'm not a medical
| professional
| GalenErso wrote:
| Yeah. We increasingly want to believe that there exists a
| viable substitute for everything, that we can have it all.
|
| For example, there are clear health benefits associated with
| long term relationships and marriage. Some antisocial people
| would like to believe that that doesn't matter because they can
| replicate these benefits if only they eat clean, exercise,
| abstain from alcohol, etc. Well, turns out, there are health
| benefits to LTRs that cannot be replicated otherwise. Your
| theory is one possibility. But simply eating clean, working
| out, getting a lot of sleep, drinking water, and having clean
| bills of health and good blood tests isn't enough. You _will_
| still die earlier than someone who 's not single. You _won 't_
| have the discipline to maintain this lifestyle until the end of
| your life.
|
| But you can't enjoy the benefits of singlehood _and_ the
| benefits of LTRs at the same time. This is controversial. But
| you can 't have it all. You can't optimize your life for
| everything at the same time. We're disgusted at the idea that
| we may have to pay a cost or sacrifice something. In this case,
| sacrificing the freedom of choice and the flexibility that
| comes with singlehood for the health benefits of LTRs. But no.
| We want the freedom of choice, the flexibility, _and_ the
| benefits of LTRs.
|
| Similarly, you can't become rich quickly without taking an
| incredible amount of risk that will in all probability leave
| you worse off. Other than luck, the true and tried path to long
| term wealth is to grind for decades at a job or a profession
| that brings money. Being a doctor, or a FAANG SWE, or starting
| a business. This all takes hard work and patience. But some
| people would rather try their hand at get rich quick schemes
| with cryptocurrency, options trading, or other scams. Very few
| succeed. That's luck. Most fail.
| paulryanrogers wrote:
| > You will still die earlier than someone who's not single.
|
| This assumes the reason people in LTR's live longer is
| because of LTR's, and not that healthier or more fit people
| are more likely to score LTR's. IME people settle once they
| think a relationship is locked in and let themselves go.
| chiefalchemist wrote:
| Perhaps. But people who give up on relationships also let
| themselves go as well.
|
| On the other hand, when you're a couple, you might be
| tempted to let yourself go, but at least there's a chance
| your mate will refuse to go. Since our behavior is driven
| by environment (a la we observe the norm, and conform)
| you'll resist temptation and stay healthy. Habits are
| easier to maintain when you're not alone.
|
| This alone might give couples the edge.
| throwaway8127 wrote:
| This article is about women, but I believe the same relationship
| is seen (perhaps even more strongly) in men.
|
| My cynical view is that healthier people are more likely to
| attract spouses - in other words, that causality runs in the
| other direction than the commentaries usually imply.
| _gmax0 wrote:
| Earlier this year I was curious if I could live life as a
| single male for the rest of my life in a capitalistic Western
| society that tends to frame many issues from a partisan-listic
| perspective.
|
| I'm no sociologist and did not apply any critical analysis to
| these works, but most of the literature and surveys I found on
| this topic suggested that men fare worse than women on health
| outcomes when it comes to marital/romantic singlehood. The
| speculative cause was that these women possessed deeper
| friendships than those men, who tended to be more isolated,
| especially in later stages of life.
| smitty1e wrote:
| Marriages are the Lego blocks of society.
|
| One has no interest in bossing anyone around, but actual
| marriage, children, and parenthood are recommended for the full,
| joyous human experience.
| tlogan wrote:
| Being alone sucks especially as one ages and faces declining
| health.
| realjhol wrote:
| Modern society is like a conjurer who whacks your heirloom rolex
| with a mallet for a trick. When all that remains is a pile of
| cogs, broken glass and twisted metal, it suddenly dawns on
| him.... he's forgotten the end of the trick.
|
| Modernity: let's smash everything. What can possibly go wrong?
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