[HN Gopher] Ask HN: Something you've done your whole life that y...
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Ask HN: Something you've done your whole life that you realized is
       wrong?
        
       I was helping my son learn to write and realized I've been holding
       the pencil wrong when I write. When I changed my grip to match how
       my son was learning, it was more comfortable. What have you learned
       that is different and better than something you've always done?
        
       Author : coreyhn
       Score  : 538 points
       Date   : 2023-01-30 13:16 UTC (9 hours ago)
        
       | unzadunza wrote:
       | For 30 years I sang "whoa-a, head waving" instead of "whoa-a,
       | we're halfway there"
        
         | ChicagoBoy11 wrote:
         | ooof but the syllables don't match! It didn't make your brain
         | hurt??? you just stretched out the -'ing'?
        
         | jerf wrote:
         | The term for this is mondegreen:
         | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen
         | 
         | The ones I still hear despite knowing the correct lyrics are
         | the first itemized one in the bullet list in that article,
         | "there's a bathroom on the right".
         | 
         | My personal favorite one though is "I want to rock and roll all
         | night, and part of every day" (instead of "party every day"),
         | mostly because unlike most mondegreens it sort of works, but
         | changes this confident declaration of desire into a bizarrely
         | flaccid one. (Listening directly to the audio in a pristine
         | listening environment like I'm in now I don't hear this, but in
         | a normal day-to-day environment with other life happening I can
         | still hear this.)
        
           | TravHatesMe wrote:
           | My friend thought brown eyed girl started with "hey there
           | amigo" instead of "hey where did we go"
        
             | unzadunza wrote:
             | Ha! This is another one of mine, but I had thought, for a
             | while, that it was 'hey there Rodrigo'
        
         | unzadunza wrote:
         | And my favorite one from my wife:
         | 
         | A modern day warrior Mean, mean stride Today's Tom Sawyer Mean,
         | mean guy
        
         | mooreds wrote:
         | Oh wow! I used to think it was "invisible tough shed", instead
         | of "invisible touch, yeah"
        
       | jws wrote:
       | If when you coil a long cable or hose you find yourself fighting
       | a twist as you coil... then you should learn to coil in an
       | alternating overhand/underhand style. Google a video. Basically
       | when grabbing the next hunk of cable you alternate between your
       | thumb pointing away from you down the cable and your thumb point
       | back up the cable to you and things just sort of happen right.
       | 
       | When you uncoil the cable it will be laying flat on the ground
       | with no twists.
       | 
       | An alternative for massive cables it lay it out in a figure 8 on
       | the ground. That will also pay out without twists.
       | 
       | Extension: The upright vacuum cleaner you've been using that
       | releases the cord from the handle by twisting the top hook down?
       | If it is leaving you with a twisted mess of cord, that means you
       | haven't been winding it up in a figure 8.
       | 
       | Even more, since you got this far: Do this with your short cables
       | too. Your USB and audio cables will last longer. When you have a
       | twisted cable, a torque shows up at each individual wire where it
       | meets its connector. The repeated twisting and untwisting leads
       | to connection failure.
       | 
       | And when you get a new cable that is rolled up (any Apple cable),
       | unroll it instead of pulling the ends apart. Then you cable need
       | _never_ have twists put into it.
        
         | allknowingfrog wrote:
         | This genuinely makes a huge difference with extension cords,
         | garden hoses, etc., but reversing my grip never made this "just
         | happen" the way the videos said it would. For anyone else who
         | struggles, the main goal is to twist every other loop in the
         | "wrong" direction, which negates the previous twist. This still
         | forms a spiral shape, but as you create loops, the loose end
         | alternates between laying on top of the loop and tucking under
         | it. You can accomplish this without reversing your grip if you
         | just alternate your twists instead.
        
         | toss1 wrote:
         | Yes! And it is absolutely critical in using climbing ropes to
         | NOT coil by loop+twist, but double-loops without twisting (to
         | the point where it is a firing offense in climbing schools to
         | coil w/loop+twist method); it is critical that you can uncoil a
         | rope instantly with minimal risk of tangling.
         | 
         | This also works better for air hoses, water hoses, etc. If the
         | thing isn't on a winding/unwinding reel, use the double-loop
         | method; everything will last longer and you'll save yourself a
         | lot of trouble.
        
         | solarmist wrote:
         | Yup, this! I learned it from a musician for patch cables.
         | 
         | A quarter twist per loop is all it takes for nicely rolled
         | cords your whole life!
         | 
         | Rereading your comment, yours is a more complicated one. I'll
         | have to look it up. I've never needed more than a quarter twist
         | per loop.
        
           | adrianmonk wrote:
           | The wrist only needs to twist a small amount, just enough to
           | make the next loop of cable fall the right direction. The
           | amount of twist on the cable itself will be greater.
        
         | adrianmonk wrote:
         | > _new cable that is rolled up (any Apple cable), unroll it
         | instead of pulling the ends apart_
         | 
         | An alternative method is gravity. Hold the cable up by one end
         | and let it untwist. Obviously, don't do this for 10 foot (3m)
         | cables unless you're very tall.
        
       | heliophobicdude wrote:
       | Rinsing after brushing my teeth.
       | 
       | This may be controversial, but keeping the fluoride on your teeth
       | as much as possible helps prevent tooth decay. Rinsing
       | immediately after brushing dilutes or removes fluoride. What was
       | the point? -\\_(tsu)_/-
        
       | bigwavedave wrote:
       | Not using a bidet. I honestly feel like the single biggest
       | quality of life improvement I've had in my adult life was
       | realizing how much of a difference a bidet makes.
       | 
       | That, and using flushable wipes when at home instead of just 100%
       | toilet paper.
        
         | solarmist wrote:
         | No flushable wipes in the toilet! Those destroy plumbing! If
         | you want to use them, then throw them in the trash, not the
         | toilet.
         | 
         | Flushable wipes are NOT actually flushable.
        
         | gwbas1c wrote:
         | Flushable wipes aren't flushable. It's a bit of wishful
         | thinking on the part of marketers. They really do clog sewars.
        
       | tapanjk wrote:
       | I always thought I need to exercise [more] to lose weight. Wrong.
       | For all practical purposes, to lose weight you must change what
       | you eat.
        
         | hinkley wrote:
         | You can lose weight exercising, if you're willing to give up 3
         | hours a day to do it.
         | 
         | Actors are getting paid to work with a coach who is putting the
         | through weight or strength regiments that are a part time job.
         | It works for them because it's all they're doing.
         | 
         | If you want to walk or bicycle three hours a week then no, you
         | aren't going to lose weight from exercise.
         | 
         | You can burn a couple thousand calories in a day by walking or
         | biking or running, but it's going to color your whole day.
        
         | dennis_jeeves1 wrote:
         | Great one. Not many people know this, or will even think it's
         | nonsense. Exercise is overrated. What you eat is really, really
         | important.
        
           | timeon wrote:
           | It is just calories in calories out. Exercise may help with
           | that. Depends how much you eat.
        
       | ravishi wrote:
       | I have always taken my good relationship with my father for
       | granted. Not sure how to properly express this in english, but I
       | don't remember having issues with him. We were present in each
       | others' lives but while at the same time not connected.
       | 
       | Yesterday while visiting him it just struck me like a lightning
       | strike that I had no connection with him. Our world views are so
       | fundamentally different that I might have disrespected him by
       | some honest mistake. It was a difficult realization to process,
       | but I feel like there's no going back from this.
       | 
       | Something very deep inside has changed. I spent the night awaken
       | next to my toddler thinking how I want a different fate for our
       | own relationship, while at the same time having no clue how to
       | even bring this up to my father. He expects something from me
       | that I just can't (and don't) want to give.
       | 
       | Still, I think this is progress, somehow.
        
       | mtlynch wrote:
       | Staying warm.
       | 
       | In the winter, I used to stay warm by turning up the thermostat.
       | Then I discovered (via HN) the Low-Tech Magazine article,
       | "Insulation: first the body, then the home." [0] The article
       | argued that it's much more efficient to focus on heating yourself
       | rather than your whole living space.
       | 
       | I invested in high-quality wool clothes that I wear in layers and
       | warm slippers. Now, I keep my home about 5 degrees F cooler than
       | I used to for the same comfort, and it's a big reduction in oil
       | and wood consumption for home heat.
       | 
       | [0] https://www.lowtechmagazine.com/2011/02/body-insulation-
       | ther...
        
         | btdmaster wrote:
         | See also this article from "Mr. Electricity". [1]
         | 
         | [1] https://michaelbluejay.com/electricity/heating.html
        
         | koonsolo wrote:
         | I have a problem with my hands. They are always cold when
         | working on the computer.
        
           | dflock wrote:
           | Heated desk pads are a thing, they will fix this issue.
        
         | rompic wrote:
         | You need this calculator:
         | https://comfort.cbe.berkeley.edu/?eyJ0YSI6MTgsInRyIjoxOCwidm...
        
         | balaji1 wrote:
         | austerity
        
           | xsmasher wrote:
           | Efficiency.
        
             | ttpphd wrote:
             | Big dad energy
        
         | james_pm wrote:
         | "Staying warm" being the key! Your body generates plenty of
         | heat. The idea is to trap it.
        
         | mabbo wrote:
         | I don't _like_ wearing big layers of clothing. I _like_ being
         | in a very light t-shirt.
         | 
         | I'm happy to pay the extra cost to heat the room I'm in with a
         | space heater in the winter time.
        
           | triceratops wrote:
           | That's still better than keeping the whole house at 75F all
           | winter.
        
           | phyzome wrote:
           | I _like_ eating chocolate and sleeping all day, but I also
           | have responsibilities. One of my responsibilities is to not
           | be wasteful. So I put on a sweater.
           | 
           | (But if you've got some kind of super-insulated house, then
           | never mind.)
        
           | armchairhacker wrote:
           | me too, also sometimes i can't seem to heat up in layers. So
           | I drink hot tea instead
        
           | beerandt wrote:
           | I'm the same way, but wool really is an awesome fabric for
           | clothes wrt to temp regulation.
           | 
           | My favorite t-shirt is now a lightweight filson 100% wool
           | shirt that is just as comfortable by itself at 80 deg as it
           | is under a button up shirt at 30 deg.
           | 
           | And doesn't get cold when wet like cotton does.
           | 
           | It really does fit the "life changing" topic if you've never
           | tried it.
        
             | Wistar wrote:
             | I just went and bought a Filson 210G Merino wool T. Thanks!
             | I need this.
             | 
             | https://www.filson.com/tops/210g-merino-wool-short-sleeve-
             | cr...
        
             | ornornor wrote:
             | It's so itchy though.
        
               | seadan83 wrote:
               | Pre-Merino, wool was quite itchy. I wonder if you are
               | thinking of "old" wool. Modern merino is some very soft
               | stuff.
               | 
               | > Merino wool is able to ditch the itch thanks to its
               | fiber's smaller diameter, or being "finer". These fibers
               | are more flexible and softly bend when pressed against
               | the skin and, therefore, don't itch like other wool.
               | 
               | https://www.smartwool.com/discover/why-merino-
               | wool/merino-wo...
        
               | ornornor wrote:
               | Could be. Wool is too cruel for my taste anyway so I
               | abstain from it.
        
               | seadan83 wrote:
               | No could be about it. Merino wool is not itchy.
               | 
               | There are other wools like possum wool with similar
               | properties that are less ambiguous in terms of ethics.
               | Merino can be ethically sourced.
               | 
               | If usage of animal products is a concern, that seems
               | hardly relevent to a question of the feel of the
               | material. I applaud the concern, just find the "could be"
               | to be glib and/or ignorant
        
           | gambiting wrote:
           | Yeah so I was like that, until the energy prices absolutely
           | exploded here in UK. I realized that if we go like this we'll
           | pay PS600/month just in energy costs, and that's as much as
           | our mortgage payment - and frankly that's insane. I turned
           | our thermostat down, grumbled and put on a jumper and wooly
           | trousers - that alone literally halved our bill to
           | PS300/month - still insane(considering last year we were
           | paying PS100/month even in winter with heating being on
           | pretty much all the time), but managable.
        
           | mrguyorama wrote:
           | You can still do this efficiently, for example my house
           | thermostat is set to 65ish and I use a tiny space heater at
           | half power (700ish watts) to have a small but nice warm
           | corner without breaking the bank, probably.
        
           | coldpie wrote:
           | I'm not trying to change your mind, just offer my
           | perspective. I felt the same way. But after a couple of
           | months of just putting up with it, I found I got used to it,
           | and it saves some money & spends less fuel. Now I wear
           | sweaters around the house all the time and it doesn't bother
           | me anymore.
        
             | bumby wrote:
             | You're right and I've done the same. But changing human
             | behavior is enormously difficult, especially when it relies
             | strictly on individual decisions. Just look at how many
             | people rationally know what to do to get healthier, yet are
             | unable to do so. We need to stop pretending humans are
             | computers that just need better information to make better
             | decisions. We're emotional beings even more than we are
             | rational ones.
        
           | h2odragon wrote:
           | I sweat a lot (medical problems), and have no body fat; so
           | keeping warm is a real challenge. I can't wear much clothing.
           | 
           | "radiant IR" (red glowing elements) type heaters are
           | _wonderful_ tools for heating the body instead of the air.
        
           | dfxm12 wrote:
           | _it 's a big reduction in oil and wood consumption for home
           | heat_
           | 
           |  _I 'm happy to pay the extra cost_
           | 
           | As an aside, we've got the externalities of climate change
           | all wrong. Oil is a non renewable resource. We can't just
           | give the planet a bunch of money and have it produce more oil
           | for us to burn when we're uncomfortable. This cost is not
           | really borne by you; it'll be borne by future generations.
        
             | renewiltord wrote:
             | Yeah but I don't like future generations, my dude. I like
             | me. And so does everyone else. So I'd rather pillage the
             | commons because if I do otherwise the commons won't be
             | unpillaged. It'll just be pillaged by others.
             | 
             | Everyone's all "we must care about the environment" but
             | then you ask them why Germany isn't reforesting (after
             | razing the cities they built on old forests) and why Europe
             | is deforesting at an accelerated rate and it's all this and
             | that.
        
               | hgomersall wrote:
               | The commons is an interesting point. It was stable for a
               | long time through very strong social and cultural norms.
               | It was broken essentially by wealthy landowners taking
               | slices of it and then using their oversized influence to
               | change the law to support them. It suggests the root of
               | the solution to any of this stuff is very much cultural
               | and social.
        
             | carlosjobim wrote:
             | Do you need the oil more than OP and for what purposes?
        
             | melenaboija wrote:
             | I would assume the poster already knows it. Is a matter of
             | _wanting something_ and _do it because I can_.
             | 
             | It goes against common sense but is human nature.
        
               | notyourwork wrote:
               | Which is precisely why government intervention is
               | required to address this problem. Individuals will make
               | decisions that are short sighted, self-centered and
               | potentially not in the best interest of the planet.
               | 
               | I don't fault them for it, I'm guilty of it in some
               | situations.
        
               | bumby wrote:
               | It's a hard balancing effort. On one hand, humans can't
               | be counted on to be rational actors, especially in terms
               | of long-term benefit. On the other hand, the system is so
               | complex it may not be able to be managed well at the
               | large government level.
        
               | 988747 wrote:
               | No, it actually makes sense: burn all the oil now, to
               | keep yourself warm in winter, and the future generations
               | will be kept warm by the fact that climate change raises
               | temperatures, so there are no winters anymore :-D
        
             | Taylor_OD wrote:
             | Boo. A single day of any large company impacts the
             | environment far more negatively than the most wasteful
             | single human or large group of humans do in their
             | lifetimes.
             | 
             | Moving the blame from corporations to the individual is how
             | companies have avoided doing anything to combat climate
             | change and only serves to make the individuals who do the
             | blaming self righteous and the ones being blamed bad.
        
               | dfxm12 wrote:
               | I didn't move anything.
        
               | tomtheelder wrote:
               | No blame is being moved. Corporations behaving
               | irresponsibly has no bearing on whether or not
               | individuals should behave responsibly.
               | 
               | In fact, the person trying to shift blame here is you: by
               | downplaying the smaller yet still significant role of
               | individuals in a sustainable future.
        
             | kortilla wrote:
             | My home isn't heated with oil. Take your shitty
             | generalizations elsewhere.
        
             | scotty79 wrote:
             | I don't think it's consumer's duty to factor in that future
             | cost into their behavior. This should be factored into the
             | current price of the resource by businesses or governments.
             | 
             | It's not customer's duty to pay more than they are asked,
             | either in money or in inconvenience.
        
               | tremon wrote:
               | But I tend to think of my fellow beings as citizens
               | rather than consumers. And I do think it is a citizen's
               | duty to be considerate of their fellow and citizens,
               | current and future.
        
               | scotty79 wrote:
               | It's a bit like you'd say: I prefer to think about my
               | fellow beings as mammals not consumers. They sure are but
               | that's beside the point.
               | 
               | Citizen has no meaning in context of economy (except for
               | taxation). So using it in context of economic activity
               | mixes up two unrelated things.
               | 
               | Bad actors in the economy tend to exploit such mix ups to
               | shift the burden away from them.
               | 
               | Read up on introduction and promotion of the concept of
               | individual carbon footprint. Or the reality of recycling
               | which was promoted as alternative to producers of plastic
               | being directly responsible for introducing plastic into
               | the environment.
        
             | Georgelemental wrote:
             | While our oil supply is not part infinite, it should still
             | last many decades/centuries more, by which time we will
             | hopefully have alternatives. Climate change is a larger
             | risk than running out
        
               | pwinnski wrote:
               | Among our alternatives: wear warmer clothes.
        
             | hooverd wrote:
             | Or through the magic of south facing windows and proper
             | insulation you can be nice and warm in the winter and with
             | electric heating not even burn oil.
        
             | mrshadowgoose wrote:
             | A large part of the population is like this. Whining at and
             | shaming them is not going to get the result you want.
             | 
             | If you care about climate change, you should be advocating
             | for completely green electricity generation, and carbon-
             | neutral synthetic fuels. That would completely solve the
             | fundamental problem.
             | 
             | Our society is fundamentally based on energy, and people
             | like to use energy towards things that give them comfort.
             | Taking away comfort is going to be a "nope" for most
             | people.
        
               | Spivak wrote:
               | And even stronger, everyone is and _should_ be like this.
               | Everything takes energy and I bet almost everything in
               | your house is technically unnecessary and for your
               | comfort. Trying to police all uses of energy into good
               | /bad is just a reflection of your own preferences of the
               | things you can personally live without without too much
               | of a quality of life drop.
        
               | bumby wrote:
               | If everyone gets to decide and spend to their own
               | independent value system, can you agree that
               | externalities should at least be priced in?
        
               | aisengard wrote:
               | We price in externalities all the time. A lot of the time
               | it's priced in as the cost of complying with government
               | regulation, like food safety and labeling. Other times
               | it's priced in the other direction, like subsidies for
               | green energy or particular crops (corn/ethanol). We just
               | don't necessarily price them appropriately, or in a way
               | that some people may think is accurate, but we certainly
               | don't ignore the concept of externalities.
        
               | bumby wrote:
               | Absolutely. I wasn't making case that we are always
               | ignoring them. But I think there are some subset of cases
               | where we don't price them in proportionally to
               | consumption. One example apropos to this thread is
               | pricing in atmospheric carbon (or the externalities of
               | extracting/protecting those resources). Based on your
               | reply, I'm assuming you think regulation is a suitable
               | way pricing in externalities?
        
               | Spivak wrote:
               | Absolutely 100%!
        
               | bumby wrote:
               | What are the better mechanisms to do so in your opinion?
        
               | titzer wrote:
               | > A large part of the population is like this. Whining at
               | and shaming them is not going to get the result you want.
               | 
               | It's unfortunate, but it does appear to have the opposite
               | effect on some section of the populace. They just get
               | pissed off and consume more out of spite. One thing to
               | temper that is to massively tax (over-) consumption. Use
               | taxes tend to be regressive, so to avoid targeting the
               | poor, there needs to be some thought put into the tax
               | structure.
        
               | dfxm12 wrote:
               | If one reads my comment and construes it as whining and
               | shaming, I don't think we're dealing with reasonable
               | people. The problem is that conservative politicians like
               | MTG make this ID pol issue, vis a vis her comments about
               | Pete Buttigieg and EVs being emasculating. Because of
               | these influences, they see any attempt to curb fossil
               | fuel use as a personal attack, even if it isn't.
        
               | lucb1e wrote:
               | > The problem is that [politics]
               | 
               | If politics is the issue, let's not start about politics
               | and partisanship? I don't know much about USA politics
               | but it seems to me that this automatically turns your
               | comment into something to ignore and dismiss for
               | precisely half your population, as they're part of the
               | party you're blaming as a whole (which might or might not
               | be a fair thing to do).
        
               | dfxm12 wrote:
               | It's not just politics, and I did specifically mention
               | the attempt to make this about ID politics. In politics,
               | there's discussion, there's give and take, OK. But when
               | one uses their power from the top down to convince their
               | constituency: using fossil fuels is a part of who you
               | are, and _they_ are trying to take a piece of your
               | identity away from you, then it becomes something
               | different.
        
               | mrshadowgoose wrote:
               | When one decides to pass over clearly defined technical
               | solutions that actually solve the problem, and instead
               | decide to shame those who live differently than them,
               | perhaps that individual isn't a bastion of reasonableness
               | themselves.
               | 
               | Clean energy production is an everyone problem. I'd
               | encourage not letting politicians pit you against other
               | parts of the population, which is just an emotionally
               | satisfying substitute to actually addressing fundamental
               | problems.
        
               | piva00 wrote:
               | It's not an either option though. If one can't have 100%
               | clean energy right now, spending a lot more of non-
               | renewable energy resources just because "I like to be in
               | a t-shirt while it's -20C outside" doesn't sound very
               | reasonable.
               | 
               | You can both work with the current reality, where energy
               | produced by non-renewable means should be used with more
               | thought while advocating for a better solution for the
               | future so you can have your luxury of heating the house
               | to 25C if you so wish and can afford to...
               | 
               | I agree on not letting politicians pit one against other
               | parts of the population, I also believe that people
               | should take responsibility and be mindful of the luxuries
               | they want and what's the cost to the general society, not
               | only that you can afford to do it even though it's
               | detrimental to others.
        
               | mrshadowgoose wrote:
               | > It's not an either option though.
               | 
               | Although I agree that it isn't, in practicality most
               | people do actually think that way, and have room in their
               | heads for only one approach to a given problem.
               | 
               | And many people, for whatever reason, tend to prefer
               | "solutions" that involve hating on some other part of the
               | population. Politicians use this to great effect to avoid
               | actually addressing problems.
               | 
               | This is the reason I so strongly advocate for focusing on
               | fundamentals instead of the limited-return shame-based
               | approaches.
        
               | sgt101 wrote:
               | Making it mind blowingly expensive seems to have worked
               | at treat in the UK.
               | https://www.statista.com/statistics/322996/monthly-
               | electrici...
        
               | tasuki wrote:
               | You are of course right shaming is not going to help.
               | 
               | > completely green electricity generation
               | 
               | The problem with green electricity is that there is no
               | such thing as green electricity.
               | 
               | The wind turbines? Massive blocks of concrete in the
               | ground, heavy machinery to put it in, lifespan not so
               | great. Solar? Destabilizes the grid, takes plenty of
               | minerals to produce, do you know what happens with solar
               | panels after their lifespan?
               | 
               | The only "green" electricity is one that isn't even
               | produced to begin with.
        
               | mrshadowgoose wrote:
               | In this context, "green" means carbon-neutral, which (the
               | lack of neutrality) is generally accepted as the
               | dominating "bad" factor with how humanity harnesses
               | energy today. Anything else is goalpost moving. But I'll
               | entertain the goalpost moving nonetheless.
               | 
               | > The wind turbines? Massive blocks of concrete in the
               | ground, heavy machinery to put it in, lifespan not so
               | great. Solar? Destabilizes the grid, takes plenty of
               | minerals to produce, do you know what happens with solar
               | panels after their lifespan?
               | 
               | These are all things that can be recycled given the
               | correct application of energy. Not profitably as a
               | standalone enterprise of course, but energetically
               | positive in comparison to what a given installation
               | produces in its lifetime. Therefore the added cost can be
               | baked into the final cost of the energy produced.
               | 
               | > The only "green" electricity is one that isn't even
               | produced to begin with.
               | 
               | Most of us don't care for your extreme version of
               | "green", so I'll point back to my original comment.
               | You're not going to be able to convince people to
               | willingly give up comfort, so focus on reducing the
               | impacts of people deciding to live that way. "Much
               | better" is worse than "perfect", but "much better" is
               | still better than what we're doing today. You're not
               | going to get "perfect" unless humanity is wiped out
               | completely.
        
               | baal80spam wrote:
               | Highly recommend this enlightening book on the subject
               | (among others): https://www.amazon.com/How-World-Really-
               | Works-Science/dp/059...
        
               | [deleted]
        
             | gruez wrote:
             | >As an aside, we've got the externalities of climate change
             | all wrong. Oil is a non renewable resource. We can't just
             | give the planet a bunch of money and have it produce more
             | oil for us to burn when we're uncomfortable. This cost is
             | not really borne by you; it'll be borne by future
             | generations.
             | 
             | What's the point of resources if they're not consumed? If
             | we follow your advice to its logical conclusion, then we'd
             | have oils that are consumed by nobody, because every
             | generation doesn't want to consume it for fear of "cost
             | [...] borne by future generations".
        
               | dfxm12 wrote:
               | _If we follow your advice to its logical conclusion, then
               | we 'd have oils that are consumed by nobody_
               | 
               | That's not really the logical conclusion of my advice. In
               | actuality, there's a lot of possibilities between "I'm
               | the one buying it, so I'm the only one dealing with the
               | consequences" and "Not use any oil at all". But I get it,
               | it's easier to argue against strawmen.
        
               | gruez wrote:
               | >But I get it, it's easier to argue against strawmen.
               | 
               | It's also easier to feel smug and accuse people of
               | strawmanning when you're engaging in motte and bailey :^)
               | 
               | Accusations of fallacy aside, what is your actual
               | argument then? That there's some non-zero harm inflicted
               | on future generations when we consume fossil fuels,
               | because they won't be able to use them anymore? That
               | would seem like the motte argument, because it's
               | trivially true, but what does this translate in terms of
               | how we should behave? A cost of $0.000001 would be
               | trivially easy to defend, but also means I can turn my
               | thermostat to 78F guilt free.
               | 
               | You also argue that we've "we've got the externalities of
               | climate change all wrong", implying that the future
               | generations not being able to use fossil fuels is somehow
               | _worse_ than people being displaced by climate change
               | today. What is your basis for that?
        
               | bumby wrote:
               | > _What 's the point of resources if they're not
               | consumed?_
               | 
               | Just to add some nuance, this seems to imply everyone has
               | the same environmental psychology. There are lots of
               | (often competing) perspectives. If you have a utilitarian
               | environmental psychology, you may think resources are
               | there to be consumed for human benefit. If you instead
               | have a stewardship environmental psychology, you may feel
               | its your duty to protect those resources from being
               | pilfered.
               | 
               | Stephen Kellert has a good description of these different
               | perspectives in "The Biological Basis for Human Values of
               | Nature". Some of his categories include: utilitarian,
               | naturalistic, ecologistic-scientific, aesthetic,
               | symbolic, humanistic, moralistic, dominionistic, and
               | negativistic. Other researchers define the human-
               | environment interactions differently. For example, [1]
               | defines them in terms of master, apathy, steward,
               | partner, participant, and user. So it's not hard to see
               | why people's thoughts differ on this issue. Like with
               | most human value systems, it's not likely that there is a
               | singular "right" perspective.
               | 
               | [1] https://www.academia.edu/download/53480185/Yoshida_et
               | _al._20...
        
             | atemerev wrote:
             | We have enough uranium to last for millions of years at
             | current consumption levels, and nuclear energy is nearly
             | completely CO2-free. Electric heating is a thing. I don't
             | think we need to worry about this.
             | 
             | (Using oil for heating is outrageous, of course; as
             | Mendeleev have said, it is exactly the same as heating your
             | fireplace with money bills).
        
               | bumby wrote:
               | Fossil fuel heat generation is an order of magnitude
               | cheaper per unit than electric in many geographic areas.
        
               | chordalkeyboard wrote:
               | > We have enough uranium to last for millions of years at
               | current consumption levels
               | 
               | this is because we don't use very much nuclear power.
               | There is currently enough known uranium reserves to
               | provide 2 years of global energy production at current
               | rates.
        
               | Schroedingersat wrote:
               | That's one to two hundred years depening on if you
               | include inferred resource, and for supplying under 3% of
               | the energy. Meeting net zero targets with PWRs would run
               | out in well under a decade, perhaps not even a single
               | fuel load.
        
               | hooverd wrote:
               | Which currency is the best heat source? I think some of
               | the newer ones might give you cancer.
        
             | Andrew_nenakhov wrote:
             | > We can't just give the planet a bunch of money and have
             | it produce more oil for us to burn when we're uncomfortable
             | 
             | Yes, but we can try to do something about those "Green"
             | activists who prevent the proliferation of the cleanest
             | power on Earth: nuclear energy. Look at what did they do to
             | Germany!
        
               | Teknoman117 wrote:
               | True or not, I would totally believe that the people who
               | are so anti-nuclear they don't want any further research
               | done into the subject are probably being funded by the
               | fossil fuel industry.
        
               | Andrew_nenakhov wrote:
               | Just a few links I gathered some time ago when discussing
               | the related topic:
               | 
               | "Has Russia Been Financing Western Environmentalism?"
               | (2022) [0]
               | 
               | "Putin Is Funding Green Groups to Discredit Natural Gas
               | Fracking" (2017) [1]
               | 
               | "German green group branded a Russian 'puppet' over Nord
               | Stream II gas pipeline" (2021) [2]
               | 
               | [0]: https://www.gatestoneinstitute.org/18330/russia-
               | funding-envi...
               | 
               | [1]: https://www.newsweek.com/putin-funding-green-groups-
               | discredi...
               | 
               | [2]: https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/german-green-
               | group-brande...
        
               | Schroedingersat wrote:
               | > Look at what did they do to Germany!
               | 
               | Increased low carbon energy by more than the first twelve
               | years of the messmer plan in spite of being betrayed by
               | the SDR immediately and then having the conservatives cut
               | funding further?
        
               | pandemicsoul wrote:
               | Green activists are the only reason we have any green
               | energy at all.
        
               | SamPatt wrote:
               | This I highly doubt. Especially when it comes to solar,
               | for which there are many reasons to adopt apart from
               | environmental concerns.
        
               | Firmwarrior wrote:
               | Well, if it weren't for green activists, we'd probably be
               | exclusively using nuclear power at this point, so we'd be
               | in a much better spot for green energy
        
             | tomp wrote:
             | No, we got the technology all wrong.
             | 
             | We could easily have abundant nuclear energy so that "home
             | heating" would be a non-issue and trivial cost.
        
               | Schroedingersat wrote:
               | For about 10 years and 100 trillion dollars.
        
           | eadmund wrote:
           | I _like_ going outside. I _must_ go outside to walk my dog,
           | get my mail and go to church -- all of which are outside. I
           | _like_ shopping for groceries and eating out, which means
           | that I _must_ move from my car to the building. Given that I
           | am going to be outdoors, it sure as heck makes sense to dress
           | for the season and the weather.
           | 
           | Plus, y'know, winter clothes are the best clothes. Tweeds,
           | woolens, gloves, coats, scarves, hats: all these are great!
           | 
           | I was amazed to find out that even in this air conditioned
           | age we spend far more heating buildings than air conditioning
           | them (four times as much, according to the first Google hit I
           | just found). That means that it makes a lot more sense to
           | dress warmly in the winter than lightly in the summer.
        
         | RobertRoberts wrote:
         | Add moisture to the air also as it conducts heat better and the
         | same temperature will "feel" warmer. (especially important in
         | some climates more than others)
        
           | odiroot wrote:
           | Perfect recipe for growing mold :)
        
             | RobertRoberts wrote:
             | Not where many people live. In winter here the air is so
             | dry you need to run humidifiers or your skin starts to
             | crack.
        
           | hkpack wrote:
           | This is probably a bad advice - As it simultaneously makes
           | cold air feel colder.
           | 
           | Also, I'm not sure if there is an easy way to actually
           | increase humidity without reducing the temperature. From my
           | experience, increasing humidity while keeping the overall
           | temperature at the same time requires additional energy.
           | 
           | Also, less humid air may allow you to actually wear less
           | cloths as it is more difficult for the air to get energy off
           | your body.
        
             | RobertRoberts wrote:
             | I think is true for places that have moist air already. But
             | for colder climates a house with central heating the air
             | often gets drier (even outside) than the worst deserts on
             | earth.
             | 
             | So, in that environment adding moisture makes the air
             | warmer. (with proper heating of course)
        
           | number6 wrote:
           | Is this the reason for infusions in sauna?
        
             | chupasaurus wrote:
             | Sauna temperatures are higher than human body's.
        
           | mtlynch wrote:
           | I didn't know that. Good tip!
        
             | RobertRoberts wrote:
             | Based on the comments above, I think I should have
             | specified that this works well for very cold places that
             | get very dry air in the winter.
        
           | peteradio wrote:
           | Sorry this is backwards isn't it? In air temperature of lets
           | say 60*F the conduction would be away from your body into the
           | air, wouldn't you want to reduce the conduction? I can say
           | that we used to humidify our winter air throughout the house
           | but it made it feel so much colder. Now we humidify our
           | sleeping air only.
        
             | RobertRoberts wrote:
             | It depends, with super (I mean very, very dry air) you can
             | have pockets of warmth just around the heat source. But add
             | a little moisture and the whole room feels warm.
             | 
             | In my experience 60 is cold no matter what. But feeling
             | cold at 70 degrees stinks.
             | 
             | In England or Ireland? Ya, damp all the time all winter. It
             | just depends on the environment. (don't want anymore
             | moisture in the air)
        
           | jessekv wrote:
           | Unless your air temperature is higher than your body
           | temperature (37 deg C), won't higher humidity mean more of
           | your heat is lost? This is why we call desert climates 'a dry
           | heat' or 'a dry cold' in winter. Conversely, a 'damp cold'
           | might not be that low a temperature, but you really feel it.
        
             | RobertRoberts wrote:
             | This was in context to someone in a house with proper
             | heating, but still feeling cold.
        
         | tashoecraft wrote:
         | Electrically heated clothing is now becoming readily available,
         | and I think it could have a big impact on home heating if
         | people would come around to it. I'm able to keep my office much
         | colder, but wear a heated vest. Why heat the whole room when
         | I'm the only thing that wants to be warm in it? If the clothing
         | was all integrated, in theory I could be kept at my ideal
         | temperature at a nominal electricity cost.
        
           | theGnuMe wrote:
           | Keeping my hands warm is a bigger problem.. especially when
           | having to type on the computer..
        
             | gms7777 wrote:
             | I have chronically cold hands (to the point that they're
             | painful and interfere with typing), and in the last few
             | years I've discovered that hands down the best way to warm
             | my hands up is to warm my core up more. I have a big down
             | puffer vest that I keep in my office and it's a lifesaver.
             | 
             | This works even when my hands are the only part of my body
             | that feel cold. The body is effectively prioritizing
             | keeping my core warm instead of the extremities, so adding
             | insulation to the body has the trickle-down effect of
             | warming the hands. On the other hand, trying to warm just
             | the hands never feels like enough.
        
             | ajolly wrote:
             | Absolute best thing I've found has been silk glove liners,
             | and then cutting the tips off to make them fingerless. For
             | some reason almost all the fingerless gloves you can buy
             | cover half of the finger, not 3/4 of the finger.
        
               | mixmastamyk wrote:
               | I tried this but they get frayed at the ends, so you end
               | up looking like a hobo digging in the trash. Ended up
               | with some compression/arthritis gloves and they are just
               | the right size, sewn at the ends, reach up to the last
               | digit. But unfortunately they are made of some fabric
               | that tries to minimize heat retention. So they only help
               | a bit. Probably could be paired with the normal wool
               | fingerless gloves.
               | 
               | Another factor is to keep the material thin between the
               | fingers or it affects typing. Wish I could design my own
               | (sigh).
        
             | ryanianian wrote:
             | My desk is next to a huge window, and even with the heat on
             | my hands get really cold. But then I got a heated desk pad
             | / mousepad. I thought it was a gimmick, but I love this
             | thing. In just a few minutes it warms up my hands and
             | wrists and keeps both my keyboard and mouse at cozy temps.
        
               | bityard wrote:
               | Wow, I did not know these were a thing.
               | 
               | My main issue in the winter is my feet. (And I hate
               | slippers.) Maybe I'll get one of these and put it under
               | my desk.
        
               | losvedir wrote:
               | Aw man, slippers are the best part of winter! Maybe you
               | just haven't had nice ones. In addition to the usual
               | furry/fuzzy slippers most people think of, I like to mix
               | it up with "house shoes" (i.e.: shoes but ones that never
               | go outside) like EVA Birkenstocks[0]. They're extremely
               | light and the half-inch insulation they provide from the
               | cooler ground makes a big difference for me.
               | 
               | [0] https://www.birkenstock.com/us/arizona-
               | essentials/arizona-ev...
        
               | uh1 wrote:
               | I used to have a small heater running under my desk but I
               | bought these [1] recently and the heater hasn't been on
               | since. My feet are toasty but don't get hot and sweaty.
               | 
               | [1] - https://www.thenorthface.com/en-
               | us/sale-c829803/mens-thermob...
        
             | jwatt wrote:
             | Personally I find "wrist warmers" work well. I don't like
             | fingerless gloves when typing since material between my
             | fingers is annoying, but wrist warmers are like fingerless
             | mits (no individual finger holes).
        
             | RugnirViking wrote:
             | I managed to get some fairly thin gloves that worked well
             | on laptop keyboards these past few months when ive been
             | testing outside in negative celcius tempratures & snow (I
             | work in mobile robotics, testing outside is common enough
             | the company has camping chairs with umberellas etc for us)
             | 
             | something like these https://www.primark.com/en-
             | gb/p/thinsulate-knitted-gloves-bl.... The particular ones I
             | have also seem to work somewhat on touchscreens which is
             | useful for the commute home
        
               | Groxx wrote:
               | To people who may not live in colder climates: you can
               | find one-size-fits-all stretchy gloves that look like
               | this practically everywhere, but they aren't all
               | _useless_ like the ones you find everywhere. Thinsulate
               | and other actually-good insulating tech can be
               | surprisingly effective.
        
             | scotty79 wrote:
             | When you keep the core toasty your hands keep warm enough
             | too. Especially if you are male.
        
             | gfio wrote:
             | My wife knits and made me some fingerless gloves, I'm
             | guessing you could find something similar on eBay or Etsy.
             | Highly recommended
        
             | pamelafox wrote:
             | I use both fingerless gloves and arm warmers to keep my
             | hands warm.
        
           | scythe wrote:
           | Electrically heated clothing is a terrible idea. Comfortable
           | for three years, then one day it just kills you. There's a
           | reason that every power cable says things like "do not
           | crush", but who's going to rigorously avoid putting their
           | body weight on their shirt?
        
             | Spivak wrote:
             | We somehow don't manage not to die with heating pads so I
             | think it'll be fine.
        
             | ornornor wrote:
             | My heated gloves are battery powered. Something like 3.7V
             | and 1300 mAh or something. Unlikely to kill anyone ever.
        
         | com2kid wrote:
         | This completely fails for me. I will end up with freezing cold
         | hands and a warm body. Put me in a 65f room and after an hour
         | of being idle my hands will start to go numb from the cold.
        
           | Broken_Hippo wrote:
           | Have you seen a doctor about this just to make sure you don't
           | have circulation issues?
           | 
           | Alternatively, keep some fingerless gloves around - or learn
           | to knit/crochet/sew and make some (they aren't all that
           | complicated for something basic). For around the house, you
           | could honestly convert some socks if you aren't worried about
           | how they might look. I'd get some of the no-fray glue they
           | sell at craft stores if you go this route. These are great
           | when you are idle.
        
             | carlosjobim wrote:
             | > Have you seen a doctor about this just to make sure you
             | don't have circulation issues?
             | 
             | What can the doctor do about it?
        
               | Broken_Hippo wrote:
               | Not a doctor, but I'd think that would depend entirely on
               | what was causing it.
        
             | com2kid wrote:
             | > Have you seen a doctor about this just to make sure you
             | don't have circulation issues?
             | 
             | Yes, doctor said I have poor circulation in my extremities.
             | Except she said that using Latin, so that was super
             | helpful. /s
             | 
             | From what I've read, the body primarily measures core temp
             | around the chest, so wearing lots of layers on the body can
             | cause the extremities to get cold since the body goes
             | "everything is warm enough, no need to even try and warm
             | things up with extra blood flow!"
             | 
             | So paradoxically, wearing less clothes can help.
        
           | hgsgm wrote:
           | wolf gloves / thumbhole shirts, and of you are _idle_ you can
           | tuck hands under a blanket or chest pockets.
        
             | pc86 wrote:
             | Wearing gloves and holding your hands inside your pockets
             | while reading so you can save $10/month on your electricity
             | bill seems pretty miserable.
        
               | gambiting wrote:
               | The problem is that it isn't $10 a month. Not anymore
               | with the current energy prices. At least here in UK the
               | difference between 18C(65F) and 20C at home can be
               | literally hundreds of pounds a month.
        
               | 8note wrote:
               | Gloves and pockets are pretty compfy
        
           | eadmund wrote:
           | Have you tried wristers? They're basically tubes for your
           | upper hand, wrist and lower forearm, with a little slit for
           | your thumb. By keeping the blood at the wrist warm they keep
           | your hands _much_ warmer than they'd otherwise be, while
           | letting you retain full freedom of motion for your fingers.
           | They're even better than fingerless gloves in that regard.
        
             | p1nkpineapple wrote:
             | Wristers (we call them "pulse-warmers" here) are AMAZING.
             | My Grandmother-in-law spends her days knitting hundreds of
             | these, and now we have multiple plastic bags full of fluffy
             | multicolured pulse-warmers that we don't know what to do
             | with.
             | 
             | If anyone her wants to pay the postage from NZ, I'll
             | happily send them around the world for no cost :)
        
           | nexus2045 wrote:
           | Got a small heater (size of a small PC speaker) for 20 bucks
           | on Amazon, most effective purchase I've made in recent
           | memory, super effective for cold fingers and doesn't even
           | need to be on all the time
        
             | spoiler wrote:
             | Which one did you get? I tried getting one at work a few
             | years ago and all it did was feel like a dragon's breath on
             | my face, and my hands got a bit of warmth
        
         | balfirevic wrote:
         | Funny, it's only after moving away from my parents and going to
         | college that I learned that you can heat your home so that it's
         | comfortable. No need to dread such things as entering the cold
         | bed at night, leaving the warm bed in the morning or sitting on
         | the cold toilet seat.
         | 
         | I wish floor heating was more widespread where I live.
        
           | mixmastamyk wrote:
           | Electric blanket, hot water bottle, robe, soft toilet seat,
           | etc... 1000x more efficient.
        
             | balfirevic wrote:
             | 1000x more miserable too.
        
               | mixmastamyk wrote:
               | Not at all, these things are downright luxurious.
               | Wouldn't do without them, and you won't know till you
               | try. It's not like you're required to keep the house a
               | freezer in combo.
               | 
               | Just silly not to focus the heat where the need is. Do
               | you light up the whole house to illuminate your desk?
        
           | ROTMetro wrote:
           | In floor heating with a geothermal heat pump = winning :) The
           | upfront cost is a killer but quality of life wise afterwards
           | oh man. Zero cold spots and unlimited hot water as a bonus
           | side effect. Especially amazing when you live in the
           | mountains.
        
         | lannisterstark wrote:
         | I have a chihuahua. I'm willing to accept the slightly higher
         | cost in winters for her being comfy.
        
           | orange_joe wrote:
           | My mom has 2 short hair chihuahuas (7-8lbs) and they wear
           | sweaters 6 months a year. Just like the rest of us!
        
         | b0sk wrote:
         | The issue is it doesn't work for people who tend to sweat
         | easily.
        
           | mixmastamyk wrote:
           | I have a jacket that has zippers under the armpits. :-)
        
           | Broken_Hippo wrote:
           | That isn't true at all.
           | 
           | You simply need layers and good enough deodorant. A bit of
           | experience helps as well - you learn how warm to keep your
           | base layer after some time. If you sweat in non-standard
           | places (like under breasts), spray deodorant might be your
           | friend.
           | 
           | I personally deal with this because of hormones - I'm a
           | female in my mid-40s, so I get to have hot flashes and night
           | sweats during part of my cycle right now.
        
           | q845712 wrote:
           | I'm one of the sweatiest people I've ever met. I've slowly
           | gotten better at layering and how to use clothes for
           | different situations, but I agree it's a big factor and
           | there's some unwinnable combinations.
           | 
           | For instance, I've finally learned to embrace "long-john"
           | style long underwear under my pants, but it's only possible
           | because I'm working from home. They are amazing layers for
           | warmth, but unlike additional shirts, hoodies, jackets,
           | scarves, hats, long underwear can't be casually removed. You
           | have to take off your shoes and your pants! So if (when) I
           | was going into an office, I always made the choice to have
           | cold legs during the commute but comfortable legs all day.
           | Now I can wear them in the morning, take them off if the day
           | warms up, and put them back on whenever the temp. drops
           | again.
           | 
           | But overall I'll echo a few comments in here that some of the
           | more expensive gear, even as base layers, really is better
           | technology. And getting to know my body and my situational
           | habits, it's been possible to figure out layering clothing
           | that worked for me, but only because I was working in tech
           | and felt like I had enough money to get it wrong a couple
           | times... If I were still living on a student or even
           | "average" budget, I would've been much shyer about trying
           | some new $30 shirt just to see if it agreed with me.
        
             | dirtyid wrote:
             | What's your long johns situation? I haven't found anything
             | that bridges the winter gap where I'm comfy outside and not
             | boiling/sweating inside.
        
               | jollyllama wrote:
               | Have you tried genuine silk long johns? That's the gold
               | standard for me.
        
         | trashface wrote:
         | I agree for most people this works, but people with circulatory
         | disorders such as Reynauds may still find that their hands and
         | feet and even nose are freezing. Only fix for that is warm
         | ambient air.
        
         | gwbas1c wrote:
         | That's usually true...
         | 
         | But for a few years I lived in a very well insulated (smallish)
         | apartment in a moderate climate. When it would get cold, I
         | would turn the heat on. My bill would go up by a few dollars.
         | 
         | Then, I changed jobs and started working in a colder building.
         | I spent more on warm clothes than I usually spent on heat! (And
         | I had baseboard resistive heating, and I payed extra for wind
         | power.)
        
         | rednerrus wrote:
         | A cashmere sweater is the best investment you'll every make.
        
         | jeremy_wiebe wrote:
         | Slippers have been a game changer for staying warm. We live in
         | a concrete apartment building and the floors are always cold in
         | the winter. Insulating my feet is by far the easiest way to
         | stay warm without heating the entire house to a "short sleeves
         | and shorts" comfortable temp.
        
         | nicbou wrote:
         | Yep. Took me over 20 years, but I got there eventually.
         | 
         | A sweater and warm socks are game changers, as is a warm winter
         | jacket and a good scarf. Add some tea and candles and the
         | winter isn't half bad anymore. It's much easier to get through
         | the cold months if you don't dread being outside.
        
         | SergeAx wrote:
         | I see here a number of comments about turning heating down as a
         | way to live more "green" lifestyle. I see it as a corporate
         | brainwashing and guilt shift getting into people's heads.
         | 
         | I just moved and now renting a place with electric water heater
         | with pump moving that heated water around via radiators. It is
         | quite large apartment with shitty, to be honest, insulation.
         | The difference between "I put several layers of clothes on" and
         | "I am wearing a t-shirt" is about 600 kWh per month. The same
         | amount of energy is needed to prodice 30 kg of aluminium or run
         | a single rack in a datacenter for just 2 days.
         | 
         | Never in your life your energy consumption can be compared with
         | industrial usage. Likewise, never in you life your water
         | consuption can reach a visible fraction of agricultural
         | irrigation. Stop listening to coprorate PR.
        
           | SamPatt wrote:
           | I understand your sentiment but your examples still sound
           | like a _lot_ of energy.
           | 
           | If every home ran a server rack for two days a month, or
           | produced 30kg of aluminum, that would obviously add up
           | extremely quickly.
        
             | SergeAx wrote:
             | Yes, it's a lot of energy, and it shocked me first, because
             | I never lived in a home that big before. It also costs the
             | money most people consider worth saving. But it still
             | fascinates me how relatively small this amount of energy
             | compared to any type of industrial usage. Also, I need it
             | only 2 months in a year.
        
         | blahedo wrote:
         | I've known this one for years and years but it always surprises
         | a few of my students (who come from warmer climates) when I
         | mention it:
         | 
         | The scarf goes on the _inside_ of the coat.
         | 
         | If you put the scarf on the outside, like you think you've seen
         | in TV and movies, it's just decoration. Put it on the inside
         | and it's an insulation layer and it blocks the cold air from
         | blowing down your front. Absolutely game-changing. (Also, have
         | a good coat, but that one seems more obvious to people.)
        
           | scohesc wrote:
           | I found out if I tie the scarf around my face with the knot
           | at the back of my neck, so the scarf covers the front of my
           | face (mouth/nose/part of ears) and the loose ends loop around
           | and get tucked between my jacket and my chest - I've been
           | infinitely warmer since!
           | 
           | Hollywood doesn't know what winter is :P
        
             | mikewarot wrote:
             | Hollywood does it that way so you can see the actors face.
        
             | chewonbananas wrote:
             | I've been tying my scarf like that for quite some time!
             | Haven't seen anyone else use it like that, though.
        
           | phyzome wrote:
           | That makes sense, sort of like a gasket. But for biking, I
           | wear it on the outside so I can keep it over my mouth,
           | allowing me to retain some warmth in my breath.
        
             | orange_fritter wrote:
             | I use a gaiter for this and it's crucial. It gets damp with
             | breathing, haven't really figured out a good solution
             | besides spinning the gaiter around every once in a while.
        
               | crazygringo wrote:
               | I switched from a gaiter to a scarf precisely because of
               | the dampness.
               | 
               | I can tie a scarf to be just slightly looser than the
               | gaiter, and the extra space decreases the dampness
               | massively, while still retaining almost all of the
               | warmth.
        
             | tasuki wrote:
             | I never understood putting things over one's mouth to keep
             | warm. Doesn't it become moist and have a cooling effect?
        
           | wruza wrote:
           | Wait, some people wear scarfs outside unironically?
        
         | fHr wrote:
         | First thing I bought from my first salary was some socks, a
         | comfy thick hoodie and pants. Best investment of my life after
         | going years in broke ass student dime secondhand ancient weared
         | clothing, especially now where we try to save energy and office
         | is not 5 degrees overheated anymore. Everyone complains about
         | being cold and I'm just warm.
        
         | moffkalast wrote:
         | Plus your houseplants will thank you... when you die and meet
         | them in the afterlife.
        
         | seanmcdirmid wrote:
         | An extreme version of this: my mother in law lives in southern
         | china where they don't get indoor heating by default (and the
         | buildings are poorly insulated and aren't designed to be
         | insulated, so adding it yourself isn't very feasible), so we
         | are all bundled up the entire time we spend there in the
         | winter, and everyone else is to, including the clerks are the
         | department store and so on. The coldest 5C of my life :).
         | 
         | That's what happens when central planning makes the above
         | observation.
        
         | ozim wrote:
         | I think one problem is managing moisture not to get mold at
         | home.
         | 
         | So most likely you still need to keep heating on but it might
         | not need to be super high - just enough to have convection from
         | heater moving air at home and having some ventilation letting
         | in a bit of outside air in and warm one getting moisture out.
        
         | prometheus76 wrote:
         | Another thing that can really help with this is a hot water
         | bottle. You can put it on your lap, or under your feet and it
         | really helps you keep warm if you are sitting for long periods
         | of time. Helps if you put a small blanket over your lap as
         | well. Usually lasts for a couple of hours before you need to
         | refresh the water in the bottle.
        
           | InCityDreams wrote:
           | Between your thighs...max blood flow and contact area.
        
           | gvurrdon wrote:
           | I just received as a gift a hand-made harness for attaching a
           | hot water bottle to one's chest or back. It is rather
           | effective.
           | 
           | https://pothies.co.uk/hotwater-bottle-carrier-from-pothies/
        
           | lexh wrote:
           | This just came across my desk this morning, it discusses the
           | benefits of hot water bottles as an alternative means of
           | keeping warm.
           | 
           | https://www.lowtechmagazine.com/2022/01/the-revenge-of-
           | the-h...
           | 
           | (HN discussion from 2022
           | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30023681)
        
           | hgsgm wrote:
           | For the HN crowd: point your computer exhaust fan at your
           | fingers or feet.
        
             | lovehashbrowns wrote:
             | I was playing cyberpunk this winter with a 4090 at 4k RT on
             | and all settings maxed. My desktop took the living room
             | from around 50F to over 72F. My A/C turned on! It was
             | genuinely insane
        
             | Cthulhu_ wrote:
             | Unfortunately the M1 runs a lot cooler than older models
             | :(. Old Intel models would almost burn your fingers!
        
             | mixmastamyk wrote:
             | How to? Usually sent out the back.
        
             | askiiart wrote:
             | Especially if you've got a bulldozer!
        
         | danjoredd wrote:
         | That reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes comic. Coincidentally,
         | this was also how I was raised:
         | 
         | https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1986/12/30/
        
         | iamwpj wrote:
         | I live in the midwest and cold is normal for a chunk of the
         | year, but one thing always worse than cold: wind. After college
         | at some point I splurged on a North Face jacket with the wind
         | protection bit and it was eye popping how much more tolerable
         | being outside became. I always go for a nicer coat/jacket now
         | -- the value brands at the department stores don't always have
         | the right technology. Good outdoor gear is spendy, but lasts a
         | very long time and is very effective.
        
           | scwoodal wrote:
           | There is no such thing as bad weather, only bad gear ;)
        
             | duckmysick wrote:
             | Wet-bulb temperatures above 30 C/85 F are pretty bad no
             | matter what you're (not) wearing.
        
           | warrenm wrote:
           | It's almost like the cultures that have "always" lived in
           | cold areas (nordic people, siberians, inuit, etc) knew what
           | to do ... layer with natural fibers - keeping the "treated"
           | side of the clothing facing the outside world :)
        
           | [deleted]
        
           | theGnuMe wrote:
           | I have a hard mountain down jacket from 25 years ago with
           | wind protection that I wear when it is below freezing. Still
           | works amazing.
        
           | therealdrag0 wrote:
           | For wind I think what matters is having a hard ish shell,
           | knowing that can make price flexible. I have pretty old and
           | cheap winter jacket that I ski in and it keeps me really
           | warm.
        
           | agotterer wrote:
           | I live in New York and didn't own a proper winter jacket
           | until I was in my 30s. I always wore a warm jacket that in
           | hindsight was more appropriate for the fall. I bought a
           | Quartz jacket and it made being outside in the winter so much
           | more fun and tolerable.
        
           | HeyLaughingBoy wrote:
           | So much this. I got all my Marmot & North Face stuff years
           | ago before they became trendy suburban clothing. The little
           | things like reinforced knees or a bit of extra material in
           | the back so you can bend over without wind exposure makes a
           | huge difference when it's -20F. That stuff has been in
           | constant use for 20 years and except for the gloves that
           | finally gave up from being dunked in water and freezing on a
           | daily basis, is still going strong.
        
       | ddorian43 wrote:
       | Diet. I think everyone should do keto diet or carnivore. There is
       | no "everbody has his own diet". It is a little bit strong, but I
       | believe it to be true. Everything else is either addictive and
       | harmful or doesn't have nutrients.
        
         | yboris wrote:
         | "Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." ... the best food is
         | plant based and reduction of animal products is beneficial for
         | one's health.
        
           | ddorian43 wrote:
           | You only took the "carnivore" part, which is just an easy way
           | to do keto.
           | 
           | My idea is that "keto diet" is best. You'll find that doing
           | "vegan keto" is a bit hard because plants don't have
           | nutrients that are bio-available. "vegan keto" is insanely
           | better than "vegan".
        
       | ariekachler wrote:
       | Dismissing people as undesirable without any thought of why they
       | became the way they are. It's very easy to quickly make up your
       | mind about someone who you don't like without asking yourself
       | "why did this person became such an a-hole or someone you just
       | don't want to have any relation with". I have realized that most
       | of these people have had lives that have made them whatever
       | negative adjectives I would give them.
        
         | MourningWood wrote:
         | I try to think everyone is a product of their environment.
        
       | andersthue wrote:
       | Being arrogant for 47~ish years, did nothing good for me.
       | 
       | Now I work hard on being friendly, curious and kind towards
       | others.
        
         | codazoda wrote:
         | As my grandfather lay dying in a hospital bed he said, "I wish
         | I had been a nicer person".
         | 
         | I'm glad you figured this out with time to make adjustments and
         | I hope that it brings you a smile in your final days.
        
           | simonswords82 wrote:
           | I did lol @ Final Days. He's 47!
        
             | bgilroy26 wrote:
             | It's a koan
        
       | slv77 wrote:
       | Tying shoelaces in a granny knot instead of a square knot. In a
       | granny knot the shoe laces sit crooked and easily come undone.
       | 
       | https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/grannyknot.htm
        
       | poulsbohemian wrote:
       | Honestly - when I bought a bidet seat, I truly felt like I had
       | been lied to my whole life that TP was acceptable.
        
       | leet_thow wrote:
       | Taking a number two without the use of a footstool to get into a
       | more natural squatting position. I look forward to the ritual
       | every morning and usually achieve 'poophoria'.
        
         | aaronax wrote:
         | Wouldn't leaning forward accomplish the same thing?
        
           | ThinkingGuy wrote:
           | I started leaning forward a few years ago. I'll just say it
           | seems to help.
        
         | c120 wrote:
         | If you need more convincing, you can buy the stool! This video
         | ad explains it in detail.
         | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q
        
         | toyg wrote:
         | Hugely underrated tip. Standard toilets are just that, a
         | guesstimated average of the height one might need to poop
         | relatively comfortably. Because it was originally derived from
         | chairs (the first toilets being actual chairs with a hole),
         | with no respect for how human anatomy developed over millions
         | of years, in most cases it's way too high for anyone under 6
         | feet / 180cm. Someone should run studies on whether this
         | influences the rates of colon cancer.
         | 
         | The most naturally-ergonomic toilet is actually the seatless
         | "turkish" hole. Unfortunately it's often not the easiest to use
         | in a hygienic manner, and it requires a lot of space. I wish
         | someone would invest in evolving that model into something
         | better.
        
           | muzani wrote:
           | I grew up with the turkish holes. IMHO they're not ergonomic
           | at all, and don't actually need much more space than a
           | typical toilet. Eventually most of them get replaced by the
           | typical Western toilets, because old people have problems
           | squatting.
        
             | toyg wrote:
             | They might not feel more ergonomic to our increasingly-
             | underused muscles, but they are to our colons.
             | 
             |  _> old people have problems squatting._
             | 
             | They shouldn't be required to, but everyone else should
             | have the option to preserve their bodies better.
        
         | scns wrote:
         | To make it explicit, the colon gets straightened that way,
         | business becomes easier.
        
       | mabbo wrote:
       | My father said to me: "I like a shower better than a bath, but
       | ugh, that first blast of cold water when you turn it on is always
       | a bit shocking."
       | 
       | Me: "Why don't you turn on the shower, wait for it to get warm,
       | then get in?"
       | 
       | Him, realizing he'd been using a shower wrong for over 6 decades:
       | "... huh."
        
         | SilasX wrote:
         | That ... still seems like the wrong way. Every shower I've
         | known has let you angle the head down. So start it that way,
         | feel for the water to get warm, then turn it towards you.
         | 
         | With the method you described, it takes longer, with more water
         | usage, to get into position, plus you let some water spray out
         | into the rest of the bathroom as you transition inside it.
        
         | sockaddr wrote:
         | I think that blast of cold water might have done good things
         | for his endorphin levels. Just curious about this anecdote, was
         | he generally a happy person?
        
           | beznet wrote:
           | for me, I take showers at night close to bed time. The last
           | thing I want to experience is a cold shock to my system at
           | that time of day. I can see it being useful in the morning
           | though
        
         | godshatter wrote:
         | Huh. I just block the stream with my hand until it warms up.
        
         | coreyhn wrote:
         | Haha, gotta love the simple solutions
        
         | raldi wrote:
         | There's a clever product that you can screw inline with the
         | showerhead that lets cold water through at full blast but when
         | the water gets hot, something pops (presumably using metal-
         | expansion properties the way old thermostats did) and the flow
         | is reduced to a trickle, so you only use just enough water to
         | keep it hot.
         | 
         | Then when you get in, you pull a cord and it releases the full
         | pressure of nice hot water.
        
           | jedberg wrote:
           | We just keep a 5 gallon bucket next to the shower and fill it
           | up with the pre-warm water. Then we use it to water the
           | garden (and sometimes to power flush a stuck toilet).
        
         | number6 wrote:
         | I like your dad's way better; also don't turn on the warm water
        
           | yamtaddle wrote:
           | But that would ruin the best waking part of 95% of my days.
        
             | Radim wrote:
             | Reminds me of an old joke:
             | 
             | > _The best part of having cold showers every day? You 'll
             | never get arthritis!_
             | 
             | > _The worst part? You 'll have cold showers every day._
        
               | badpun wrote:
               | > The best part of having cold showers every day? You'll
               | never get arthritis!
               | 
               | Is that so? My joints in fingers and toes can hurt quite
               | badly after being to too much cold water. Doesn't feel
               | like it's helping them in any way - quite the opposite.
        
         | hprotagonist wrote:
         | Right; the cold blast comes at the end!
        
           | anthonypasq wrote:
           | my shower at my current apartment actually have the temp and
           | volume nozzles separate so that i can taper the water
           | pressure and it stays hot. Its delightful, i dont know why
           | this isnt standard.
        
             | hprotagonist wrote:
             | i meant that i intentionally run it on cold for the last 30
             | seconds or so of a shower.
        
         | heldrida wrote:
         | Haha! Thanks for sharing! I had a good laugh :D
        
         | p1mrx wrote:
         | If you have a sink near the shower, run it full blast on hot to
         | flush the cold water from the pipe.
         | 
         | This mainly saves time, but it also saves water if your shower
         | mixer valve doesn't go to 100% hot. (It's generally good to
         | keep the hot limiter below 100%, to avoid full-body scalding.)
        
         | pards wrote:
         | Wim Hof would disagree. I always start and end my showers with
         | 1 minute of full cold (in Canada, so cold = 8degC)
        
           | tasuki wrote:
           | Why start the shower full cold? (I end showers cold, not sure
           | if 1 minute, sometimes less sometimes more depending on mood)
        
             | pards wrote:
             | I start with full cold because it's more of a shock to the
             | system. I find the cold water improves my mood and provides
             | a daily dose of "suck it up, buttercup". I've __almost__
             | started crave that cold shock in the mornings now, and the
             | cold water at the end of the hot shower feels like ..
             | relief.
        
         | bryanlarsen wrote:
         | Related: you can buy "hot water recirculation systems" to keep
         | the water hot in your shower. When the water in your hot water
         | pipes gets cold, it dumps it into your cold water pipes.
         | Therefore the water isn't wasted.
         | 
         | This can save a lot of water if you're the type to let your
         | shower run until it is warm. So some jurisdictions encourage
         | their installation.
        
           | ajb wrote:
           | I think those mostly work when the shower is running though.
           | When it's stopped the water in the cold pipe is eventually
           | going to get cold. Still a good idea - I've been planning to
           | get one when I next redo my bathroom.
        
             | bryanlarsen wrote:
             | These work when the hot water is cold, about twice a day
             | for me, less if the shower is used regularly. The valve
             | opens and water flows from your hot water pipe into your
             | cold water pipe.
             | 
             | So you should turn it off when you go on vacation.
        
           | tzs wrote:
           | I don't know if they are still around, but I've seen a shower
           | head that includes a clever mechanism to reduce water waste
           | if you let the shower run until warm.
           | 
           | When you turn on the shower, the head operates normally while
           | the water is cold. When the water becomes warm a valve in the
           | head closes to stop the flow. There is a button on the head
           | you press to open the valve, which then stays open until you
           | turn off the water.
           | 
           | The idea is that many people turn on the shower to warm up
           | but don't just wait around in the bathroom to jump in as soon
           | as the water is warm. They go do other things like start
           | their coffee machine or wake up the kids or check the news
           | and weather. Between the time the shower warms up and they
           | get around to coming to see if it is warm they might waster
           | several minutes worth of warm water.
           | 
           | With this clever shower head they don't waste that water.
           | Also, if they can hear the shower running from wherever they
           | are doing other stuff when they hear it stop they know the
           | warm water is ready.
        
             | tesseractspace wrote:
             | My friend in Cupertino had these on the shower head to stop
             | water as soon as it's hot: ShowerStart TSV 3 Hot Water... h
             | ttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B07WZQTWLG?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_shar
             | .... Bought one and it's pretty great to clear out long
             | cold pipes
        
               | bityard wrote:
               | Our local power company sells these and other power/water
               | saving devices at a roughly 50% discount over
               | retail/amazon:
               | https://www.dtemarketplace.com/collections/water
        
             | mindslight wrote:
             | I get in, turn the water on max hot, and stick my hand in
             | the stream of water coming out of the tub spigot. As it
             | gets hotter, I adjust the temperature setting and converge
             | on the right place. Then, I hit the diverter so water comes
             | out of the shower head, while I stand mostly out of the
             | spray (avoiding residual cold water and it takes a few
             | seconds to warm up the pipes themselves). Then I stand
             | fully under the spray and do minor adjustments, which
             | continue throughout the shower.
             | 
             | This seems natural to me, but I've never met anyone else
             | who does it this way.
        
               | bckr wrote:
               | I think it really depends on your water system at home.
               | In this apartment, the water heats up fast and gets
               | really, really hot. So it takes about 5 seconds to reach
               | the desired setting. There's also a pretty good range
               | where it feels good to get in. So it's just not worth
               | putting a lot of thought into it.
               | 
               | At other apartments, I've had more involved systems.
               | 
               | This thread is making me think of that blog title:
               | Reality has a surprising amount of detail.
        
               | mindslight wrote:
               | I didn't spend any time designing that set of steps or
               | anything. Rather at each point I'm just doing the
               | immediate thing that will get me showering the quickest.
               | 
               | It's probably most useful when the hot water comes up
               | quick, less useful when you have to wait a while for
               | that. And it fails horribly when the hot water isn't
               | working.
               | 
               | I've never felt the need to adjust though, except for
               | shower-only stalls and the like.
        
               | kgc wrote:
               | Me too
        
               | worthless-trash wrote:
               | Same, but no diverter, they are not common in Australia.
        
           | Anerudhan wrote:
           | Why do not people use a bucket and a mug. By collecting water
           | from the shower from freezing cold to scalding hot you
           | average out the temperature for a nice warm shower and no
           | wastage.
        
           | bmelton wrote:
           | Not quite as effective, but even easier is that you can get a
           | back-flow preventer valve (approximately $10 worth of metal)
           | that allows the hot water to push into your cold water (but
           | not the reverse)
           | 
           | As I understand it (and I am NOT a plumber) -- when you turn
           | on the hot water, it pushes hot water up the line. Turn off
           | the water, and that water will cool. But, if you add a one-
           | way valve that allows flow from hot to cold, it will allow
           | the higher pressure hot water line to flow into the cold
           | water line so that it keeps hot water to the tap so that you
           | don't have to wait (in my case) 5 minutes to flush out the
           | cold water that has accumulated before getting to the hot
           | water.
           | 
           | A plumber friend suggested this to me when I complained about
           | my master bathroom (the furthest in the house away from the
           | heater) taking SO LONG to warm up. Then he came out and
           | installed it in about 15 minutes (which would probably amount
           | to a one hour minimum charge for a plumber not doing it for
           | free) plus a $10 part he had us buy on Amazon.
           | 
           | TLDR, now instead of taking 5 minutes to heat up from ice
           | cold to warm to eventually hot, the hot water is warm from
           | the second I open it, and hot within about 15-20 seconds.
        
           | ericpauley wrote:
           | Sounds like false economy to me. You're saving a minute
           | amount of water but using far more energy to keep less-
           | insulated water warm.
        
             | Sebb767 wrote:
             | Probably depends on your heater setup. My parents have a
             | flow-activated central heating system in the basement and
             | waiting for warm water can take over a minute. In my
             | current apartment, I have an electric heater basically next
             | to the shower and the water is warm within a few seconds at
             | most.
        
               | scotty79 wrote:
               | I wonder why combination of central water heating plus
               | electric heaters at the faucets is not more common.
               | Probably the cost.
        
             | pc86 wrote:
             | "Far more" is relative, to say the least. We're talking
             | about the amount of water that fills a shower pipe - very
             | little - and unless you're only showering once a week it's
             | not that big of a change.
        
               | pavon wrote:
               | In our house, the master bath is on the complete opposite
               | side of the house from the water heater, and we have to
               | run about two gallons of water before it gets hot, and if
               | we wait more than 10 or 15 minutes between showers, the
               | water in the pipes gets cold again, and we have to run
               | another two gallons. In other words it isn't just the
               | water in the shower pipe, it is the water in the full
               | pipe between the heater and the shower.
               | 
               | I've just started looking into either getting a tank-less
               | water heater in the master bathroom or a recirculating
               | system to save water. I like that the recirculating
               | system would help with the entire house, not just that
               | one bathroom, but it is looking to be quite expensive and
               | wasteful of energy, unless we can do something like have
               | switches in the bathrooms and kitchen to manually turn on
               | the recirculator for a few minutes before use instead of
               | running the water for a few minutes.
        
               | toomuchtodo wrote:
               | Look at instant hot water heaters to colocate near the
               | fixtures; they don't have to be powerful enough to
               | provide hot water for the entire fixture use, just the
               | time between when fixture use starts and hot water
               | arrives from the primary heat appliance.
               | 
               | Fossil gas tankless units are nice because they can be
               | installed on the exterior of a home and are maintenance
               | free, but emit CO2 and can be expensive depending on your
               | gas costs (they're better for seasonal dwellings imho).
               | Ideal combination is resistive instant heaters at points
               | of use with a heat pump water heater for the whole
               | dwelling.
        
               | justnotworthit wrote:
               | They don't have to be instant either: I've seen 120V
               | plugin models that have a small tank. No idea what's
               | better, but you don't need a 240V hookup in the bathroom
               | to have a "while the pipes heat up" heat source.
        
               | bryanlarsen wrote:
               | In my house it's a lot. Due to the shower being in a
               | different spot than when the house was originally built
               | so the routing is about as inefficient as possible,
               | there's well over 100 feet of pipe between our hot water
               | tank and our shower.
        
               | graton wrote:
               | How much time does it take? In the US almost all shower-
               | heads and faucets will only use a maximum of 2.5 gallons
               | per minute. For me the water will get hot in about 30
               | seconds. So I am using approximately 1.25 gallons of
               | water. For me that is acceptable.
        
               | halfnormalform wrote:
               | You probably wouldn't need it in a single-family
               | dwelling, but there's a recirculation system in my 100+
               | unit building and it works great. Once it was turned off
               | by accident and it took almost a minute to get hot water.
               | Multiply that by all the neighbors and it seems like a
               | good bargain.
        
             | elil17 wrote:
             | Like all thing in the water-energy nexus, the right answer
             | depends on whether you live in a water-stressed
             | environment. In California this may be a great idea, but it
             | is probably not useful in New York.
        
               | gpt5 wrote:
               | There is no water shortage, there is an energy shortage.
               | You can easily desalinate as much water as you want, it
               | costs about $0.002 per gallon, while heating a gallon of
               | water is 10x that.
        
           | hawk_ wrote:
           | That makes me wonder if there's a system that can recycle the
           | heat lost in drain (hot water from the shower that just got
           | drained).
        
             | rjmunro wrote:
             | I looked at this kind of thing a while ago:
             | https://www.showersave.com/
             | 
             | It seems like a no brainer, but the prices are so high
             | (like PS700 / $900) that it would take many many years to
             | pay back the cost, so it wasn't worth it.
        
             | gwbas1c wrote:
             | https://www.energy.gov/energysaver/drain-water-heat-
             | recovery
        
             | BeefySwain wrote:
             | https://www.energy.gov/energysaver/drain-water-heat-
             | recovery
        
           | Agentlien wrote:
           | What's "a lot of water" in this context? My shower typically
           | takes just a few seconds to get to temperature. Even a quick
           | shower is typically a few minutes, so that tiny amount seems
           | insignificant.
        
         | saulpw wrote:
         | The army method: stand there and take it like a man.
         | 
         | The Superman method: put your hand up to block the blast.
         | 
         | The Spiderman method: jump to the opposite side of the shower
         | to avoid the blast.
         | 
         | The clever method: turn on the shower and wait outside.
        
       | karaterobot wrote:
       | Using a vegetable peeler. You can cut on both strokes, push and
       | pull, and it goes (more than) twice as fast.
        
         | solarmist wrote:
         | Oh, damn. Duh!
         | 
         | I never even thought about it, but that's why there are two
         | sharp blades.
        
         | top_post wrote:
         | I learned this one about a year ago and every time I try and do
         | the push stroke I pretty successfully slip and cut myself. So I
         | get you can do both but I'll be damned if the pull stroke isn't
         | the only one I'm still doing.
        
       | iancmceachern wrote:
       | I still innately spell maybe mabye. I have to stop myself and
       | correct my spelling manually wver single time I write the word.
        
       | wallflower wrote:
       | How to text if you would like to date someone.
       | 
       | Not: "What's up"
       | 
       | Not: "<open-ended question>"
       | 
       | Not: "<this is what I did over the weekend>. How was yours?"
       | 
       | Yes: <Logistics of meeting up>
        
         | nerddadnear40 wrote:
         | Get agreement of Time, Agenda, Outcome -- up front and in that
         | order. Helps with all meetings not just dates.
        
           | layer8 wrote:
           | You could call it the TAO of meetings.
        
           | maximus-decimus wrote:
           | What do you mean by Agenda and Outcome?
        
             | solarmist wrote:
             | In my experience.
             | 
             | Agenda - What are we going to do?
             | 
             | Outcome - How do we know if the agenda was successful? / Or
             | when to end the meeting (more for exploratory stuff, dates
             | included).
        
       | asimovfan wrote:
       | Trying to get happiness from external conditions instead of
       | making it at home in my body through meditation and
       | understanding.
        
       | RobertRoberts wrote:
       | Ask my wife what she prefers and tell her what I prefer.
       | 
       | Years of marriage before we figured out I hate cleaning small
       | things (silverware and glasses) and she hates cleaning big things
       | (pots and pans). We permanently changed how we clean up after
       | meals.
       | 
       | Not exactly in line with your premise, but changed my entire
       | outlook about expressing what I want or prefer about almost
       | anything.
        
       | NikolaNovak wrote:
       | I've been playing guitar on and off for 30 years. I'm _holding
       | the pick completely wrong_ and it probably negatively impacts my
       | playing - but I 've struggled to correct it (I hold it with
       | thumb, index and middle finger; if I try to hold it with just two
       | fingers, it inevitably slides out after a few strums; I don't
       | know how people do it).
       | 
       | I've also been trying to snap my fingers wrong for 20 years until
       | somebody finally explained to me that it wasn't my fingers
       | rubbing / clicking / pouncing against each other that made the
       | sound, it was the finger snapping/clapping on the meaty part of
       | your wrist. Doh!
        
         | 72deluxe wrote:
         | What thickness pick do you use? I found thin picks very
         | difficult to hold and moved to a .96mm Dunlop Delrin (the pink
         | ones) standard and I found them easier to hold. There is more
         | resistance from the strings but at least you can alternate
         | pick.
         | 
         | Here's me playing: https://youtu.be/gVIt8CVq7KQ?t=181
         | 
         | But now you've made me question how I actually hold the pick -
         | is it the first or second finger? I think it's first and thumb
         | because my middle finger is stronger and calloused so more
         | useful for tapping notes whilst the first finger grasps the
         | pick during the tapping phase.
        
         | auspex wrote:
         | You're in good company James Hetfield plays this way too!
        
         | SnooSux wrote:
         | I got a guitar pick with a bit of texture on the part you grip
         | with. I have really oily hands so glossy picks just slip
         | through my fingers.
         | 
         | I've also tried angling the pick so I have more surface area to
         | grip with.
        
         | spit2wind wrote:
         | Many fine players use the three finger approach. Steve Morse
         | comes to mind.
         | 
         | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
         | 
         | EDIT: link to Dixie Dregs in case you have no clue who Steve
         | Morse is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrAa6K_28NU
        
           | scns wrote:
           | Hillybillymetal, Hell yeah!
           | 
           | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fD9j0VfX7QU
        
             | 72deluxe wrote:
             | Steve Morse's Cruise Missile track is also a great track
        
           | NikolaNovak wrote:
           | Thanks, note that your first link came up empty (it's missing
           | the video tag in the URL)
        
         | Zanfa wrote:
         | > I've been playing guitar on and off for 30 years. I'm holding
         | the pick completely wrong and it hugely negatively impacts my
         | playing - but I've struggled to correct it (I hold it with
         | thumb, index and middle finger; if I try to hold it with just
         | two fingers, it inevitably slides out after a few strums; I
         | don't know how people do it).
         | 
         | Try orienting the pick slightly so that when you strum the
         | strings, it plucks the string with the leading edge, rather
         | than with the flat side of the pick, so you don't need to press
         | as hard.
         | 
         | > I've also been trying to snap my fingers wrong for 20 years
         | until somebody finally explained to me that it wasn't my
         | fingers rubbing / clicking / pouncing against each other that
         | made the sound, it was the finger snapping/clapping on the
         | meaty part of your wrist. Doh!
         | 
         | I've found snapping to be louder and fuller sounding if I don't
         | use my thumb to "tension" the middle finger at all, but instead
         | just smack the the middle finger against the "meaty part". Plus
         | you can get a lot more snaps done in much less time if snaps-
         | per-minute is an important metric.
        
       | bradwood wrote:
       | Being a smart-ass and saying to my kids: "I don't believe it, I
       | _know_ it " without first stopping to realise that knowledge of
       | something additionally requires that one believes it to be true.
        
       | alberth wrote:
       | Peeling a banana.
       | 
       | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i733KI8B6-Q
        
       | giantg2 wrote:
       | "Something you've done your whole life that you realized is
       | wrong?"
       | 
       | Worked hard believing it would be rewarded.
        
         | praveen9920 wrote:
         | I would have missed this because of lack of enough upvotes
         | but.. here's my perspective.
         | 
         | You should work hard but on yourselves not for others. I did
         | working hard for others for a decade and ended up in the same
         | place after. I started working for/on myself, I am happier now
         | if not richer.
        
           | dennis_jeeves1 wrote:
           | Thanks, that does add some nuance to the parent comment.
        
         | AussieWog93 wrote:
         | >Worked hard believing it would be rewarded.
         | 
         | Even if you're not seeing the rewards of your hard work now,
         | they will come one day.
         | 
         | Let's say you've spent the last 10 years working your arse off
         | for a shitty boss who doesn't appreciate you. At least you're
         | far more competent than if you'd been lazy for 10 years under
         | the same shitty boss.
         | 
         | Go find a better situation and you'll be grateful for the
         | skills you've picked up, even if it hurt to acquire them.
        
         | graeme wrote:
         | Be careful with this one. Hard work, applied correctly, is
         | rewarded. Hard work applied incorrectly is not.
         | 
         | Examples of incorrect application:
         | 
         | * working hard at something not valuable
         | 
         | * working hard at something valuable then giving it away well
         | below market rate
         | 
         | *working hard at something valuable then poorly presenting it,
         | e.g. bad marketing
         | 
         | The second happens when you never ask for a raise/promotion,
         | switch to a market rate job, or start a business that captures
         | the value of the skill.
        
         | solarmist wrote:
         | Yes. Something I learned from contractors on how to fix a big
         | part of this is good communication (this is not self-
         | promotion). People pay much less attention to others than we
         | expect, so most don't know what we're doing or what we did.
         | 
         | 1) Say what you're going to do.
         | 
         | 2) Do it.
         | 
         | 2a) Bonus: If something changes, immediately say what has
         | changed and reconfirm the agreement.
         | 
         | 3) Say what you did.
         | 
         | Those three steps go a long way toward being recognized for
         | your contributions.
        
       | skrebbel wrote:
       | Turns out there are two ways to tie your shoelaces (the direction
       | of the top knot wrt the bottom) and the one I didn't do never
       | went untied.
       | 
       | (Also turns out you can buy perfectly good shoes without laces so
       | extra win)
        
       | jameal wrote:
       | Expecting other people to reach out to me without making any real
       | effort myself.
       | 
       | At some point I heard this thought experiment: If you could only
       | have one, which is more important: To love or to be loved?
       | 
       | Now I understand that if I want to receive love and connection
       | that I have to be able to give it. This shift has strengthened so
       | many of my relationships and helped me build new ones as well.
        
         | [deleted]
        
       | grenbys wrote:
       | I've been rinsing my mouth after brushing my teeth my whole life.
       | Turns out you should not. Logically, why even buy that expensive
       | toothpaste only to negate all its positive impact by rinsing it
       | away?
        
       | notacoward wrote:
       | Multiple people beat me to the shoelace one, so here's one I
       | don't see yet: running. At 48, I had hated running practically
       | since I had first been able to do it, but I was in a situation
       | where I decided to give it another try. I quickly figured out
       | _why_ I had hated it. I had been doing it wrong all my life. A
       | little reading taught me about pacing and body lean and foot
       | landings, and then ... well, it still kinda sucked TBH. But it
       | sucked _a lot less_ , in the way that anything hard will suck,
       | and I've been able to stick with it year-round for almost nine
       | years since. Still amazes me that I spent more than four decades
       | doing something so basic so wrong. So much for being a smart guy,
       | I guess.
        
         | DarkTree wrote:
         | Along with this, the thing that helped me the most was learning
         | to run much slower. I would always run at an uncomfortable pace
         | that would jack my heart rate up and have me huffing and
         | puffing. Then I learned about "Zone 2" training which
         | essentially boils down to running at a pace where you could
         | comfortably have a conversation and more easily run for
         | extended periods. This now only made it so I could run more
         | miles per week, but it turned running from an exhausted effort
         | to a more meditative, enjoyable one.
         | 
         | Things I think have helped me the most: 1. Correctly fitting
         | shoes (I always wore shoes that were too narrow and short for
         | my feet) 2. Wearing a heart rate monitor so that I could run at
         | a pace that allows me to stay within the heart rate range that
         | improves aerobic fitness while being easy enough to sustain
         | (heart rate zone 2) 3. Increasing my cadence to the 170-180
         | steps per minute range, which has allowed me to improve my
         | form/efficiency and avoid shin splints.
        
         | donohoe wrote:
         | Do you recall the reading material? You just overcome my
         | biggest barrier to healthy living.
        
           | notacoward wrote:
           | I don't recall specifically, but it's pretty easy to find
           | articles e.g. on Runners World. Practically everyone seems to
           | recommend _Born to Run_ but personally I 've never read it.
           | For me it was getting my body lean and foot landing more
           | forward, pushing more than pulling, and sacrificing a bit of
           | stride length for higher cadence. And not being afraid to
           | take breaks, especially when I was first building up to 5K.
           | Any halfway decent running store should be able to help you
           | understand about foot landings and get you the right shoes
           | for your style. In fact, one of the things that has really
           | helped me stick with it is being able to geek out about
           | training and gear and stats. Plenty of room for that, and
           | without it I might have had more trouble especially in the
           | winter months. Good luck!
        
       | koliber wrote:
       | I recently realized why snowboard jackets have double zippers. I
       | always struggled to bend down to clip in my boots into my
       | snowboard bindings while standing up. I now unzip a third of the
       | way there and it's a lot easier to bend down.
        
       | MarcoSanto wrote:
       | Worry about what other people think
        
       | pengo wrote:
       | Eating Marmite instead of Vegemite. Only in my fifties did I
       | discover that Marmite tastes different because it contains sugar.
        
       | aliqot wrote:
       | Not liking how Ask HN is turning into AskReddit
        
         | muzani wrote:
         | Reminder that you can flag topics that violate the guidelines:
         | https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
        
       | erjjones wrote:
       | Making promises.
       | 
       | When my child would ask to do something or desire something I
       | might have said, "Not today but I promise in the future ...".
       | Often I would never follow up on those.
       | 
       | Now, I am more inclined to say, "I will do my best to make that
       | happen" or something along those lines but no promises.
        
       | charlie0 wrote:
       | Buying fewer more expensive items of clothing > buying more items
       | at a much cheaper price point.
       | 
       | I've noticed this the most with outdoorsy equipment, like my pair
       | of wool socks (Darn Tough). They are 3x more expensive that
       | cotton, but they keep my feet warm without overheating them, are
       | thicker so I can comfortably walk around the house with no other
       | footwear, they don't hardly get smelly, they also dry really
       | fast. That last one comes in handy when you need to cross
       | streams.
        
         | jjice wrote:
         | A good thing, on top of working better, can beat out cheap
         | things for price per use pretty easily. Darn Tough is a great
         | example. Best socks I've ever had to wear, but also I have
         | pairs from six years ago that are still kick (plus they have a
         | life time warranty).
         | 
         | A cheap jacket for $50 dollars or a (well researched) jacket
         | for $150 is an obvious win. Warmer, more durable, more
         | comfortable, and looks better. I bet it can last 3 times longer
         | than the cheaper jacket in a lot of cases, plus it could
         | probably resell for much more. We don't often talk about equity
         | in smaller purchases (probably because it's not as
         | consequential), but buying good items means they'll probably
         | hold value better for resale (same goes with buying them used).
        
         | sgt101 wrote:
         | I'll chip in with a vote for proper boots, I was going to say
         | $500 Trickers but now I see that they are more like $800 new...
         | but $300 on Ebay.
         | 
         | And it's worth it - I've had two pairs (from ebay) that have
         | lasted me for 10 years between them. Resoled many times, but
         | still absolutely excellent.
         | 
         | 10 years!
        
         | crazygringo wrote:
         | Funny, I've come to the opposite conclusion for most clothing.
         | 
         | My weight fluctuates, my clothing needs change, my style
         | changes, I discover a new type of clothing item that obsoletes
         | an old one. Or stuff shrinks, rips, gets stained, gets lost.
         | 
         | Expensive "long lasting" clothing isn't usually worth the
         | investment in my experience for all of these reasons.
         | 
         | Outdoorsy equipment may be an exception, but I don't feel like
         | it's the case for regular clothing or merchandise in general.
         | 
         | (Plus a lot of expensive stuff isn't actually any better
         | quality than the cheap stuff, and it takes a lot of research to
         | figure out when the expensive stuff actually is worth it and
         | when it's not.)
        
         | pancrufty wrote:
         | Yes and no. Where I live I have a choice from dirt-cheap to
         | "signature" garments. I like buying in the middle because I
         | hate low-quality cloth and because I don't want to be wearing
         | the same shirt 10 years in a row. Give me a good price for
         | something that lasts 2-3 years and I'm set.
        
         | tremon wrote:
         | This only applies when you can accurately judge the quality of
         | the clothes. I've stopped buying mid-market clothing a few
         | years ago because they didn't last longer than the cheap stuff.
        
       | paulbjensen wrote:
       | Peeling bananas.
       | 
       | I used to open them from the hard stem bit which was not always
       | successful, but it turns out that if you pinch them at the other
       | end, they open up much easier:
       | 
       | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8svUCSuMS4
        
         | benhurmarcel wrote:
         | But then you need to remove the nasty dark bit.
        
           | BrandoElFollito wrote:
           | When in Poland, I learned of one urban legend there which was
           | that your head to remove the end of the banana because there
           | are some small livings (?) there (I think they called them
           | "lamblia").
           | 
           | Some folks (usually older) strongly believe that.
        
           | solarmist wrote:
           | Devil's anus
        
           | gwbas1c wrote:
           | It's called the "bananas"
           | 
           | https://theoatmeal.com/comics/bananus
        
             | solarmist wrote:
             | I prefer devil's anus. :)
        
         | orange_fritter wrote:
         | You can also grab it with both hands and just break the whole
         | banana in half with a quick pop. The line will be clean. Hand
         | one half to your date as if nothing happened.
        
         | forinti wrote:
         | I was in my late 30s when I found out I didn't have to peel
         | kiwis (I love kiwis). It doesn't really affect the taste to
         | just eat them unpeeled.
        
         | Topgamer7 wrote:
         | Grab with two hands, break apart in the middle.
        
       | racl101 wrote:
       | That barring any real medical issue ... intermittent fasting is
       | hard. We just think it is.
       | 
       | Every time I tried it, I'd sabotage my efforts not knowing by
       | chewing gum, eating tic tacs, using flavored tea, etc this would
       | just trigger my insulin response and I'd get hungry throughout
       | the day.
       | 
       | All I had to do, is just simplify my intake to any of these:
       | water, black coffee, black tea or any tea with a bitter profile.
       | 
       | And that's it. Fasting would get easier after that, especially
       | after first few days.
       | 
       | And you could do 4h, 6h, 8h, 12h, 20h easy peasy. No problem.
       | 
       | And if you should experience the desire to eat during those
       | periods, most of the time it was just psychological. Your body
       | isn't dying. You are more resilient than that.
        
         | solarmist wrote:
         | If I understand you correctly.
         | 
         | To do fasting drink more non-calorie liquids. Which is
         | absolutely correct. I drink like 2x as much liquid when I'm
         | fasting.
        
         | keepquestioning wrote:
         | [dead]
        
       | egberts1 wrote:
       | Working on social interactions and refining nuances would have
       | gone a long way for my career but my sheer technical aptitude has
       | managed to carry me pretty far as I am happy to go.
        
       | Havoc wrote:
       | Acquired a utility knife with those cheap replaceable blades
       | instead of abusing the kitchen scissors for everything
        
       | soheil wrote:
       | Reading hackernews to find out how to start a startup
        
       | DavidPiper wrote:
       | Drinking a glass of orange juice every morning. That stuff is
       | full of sugar.
       | 
       | Actually managing sugar intake in general. I'm 30 and just
       | starting to do something about it.
        
         | twbarber wrote:
         | Same here!
        
       | jcpst wrote:
       | I used to always stand up to wipe. At one point in my adult life,
       | there was a conversation and I realized everyone else does not do
       | this. Then I tried wiping while sitting down. So much easier.
        
         | mmcgaha wrote:
         | Yeah but if you stand your hand will never touch the water in
         | one of the tiny grandma's house sized toilets.
        
         | BrandoElFollito wrote:
         | It must be cultural. We never stand up to wipe in France.
        
         | kodt wrote:
         | I think this starts because as a kid maybe it is easier to
         | stand up? And no-one ever told you to stop because once you are
         | old enough to handle your business on your own no-one is there
         | to see and offer advice.
        
       | goodgoblin wrote:
       | A couple of years ago I realized that the big metal rod inside
       | the box that holds the knives is for sharpening.
        
         | justin_oaks wrote:
         | It's a honing rod or honing steel. Honing isn't exactly the
         | same thing as sharpening, but yes it will help the knife cut
         | better.
         | 
         | I've heard it explained that honing is for improving the
         | cutting edge you have, and sharpening is cutting a new edge.
        
         | BanazirGalbasi wrote:
         | As already mentioned, it's for honing. The difference is that
         | sharpening involves removing metal to create a new edge, while
         | honing simply bends the edge back to being straight. Although
         | we think of steel as being a hard material, the edge of a knife
         | is thin enough that it gets bent to one side or the other just
         | through normal use. Using a honing rod to push the steel back
         | to where it belongs means the knife _feels_ sharper because you
         | 're now cutting with the actual edge.
        
         | orange_fritter wrote:
         | It's not, it's for honing
        
           | [deleted]
        
           | goodgoblin wrote:
           | and til the difference between (and that there was a
           | difference between) honing and sharpening.
        
       | Dave3of5 wrote:
       | Care about what the company I'm working with is making. If I'm
       | not heavily in equity and it's just a job then I shouldn't be
       | giving a dam about they are making. I should only be interesting
       | in what they are paying me and the benefits I get from working at
       | the company.
       | 
       | I used to get real upset when the codebase I working on was shit
       | and even left companies due to this. In reality what was more
       | important was those companies where paying a shit wage that was
       | why their codebase stank.
        
         | layer8 wrote:
         | Pretty sad to spend half your waking time making something you
         | don't care about.
        
         | SeanAnderson wrote:
         | Surely you should also care what impact said company is having
         | on society? :)
        
       | zander312 wrote:
       | For the past 15 years or so, every night before bedtime I would
       | proclaim "Time to hit the shack!" or "I'm going to hit the
       | shack".
       | 
       | In reality it is a "sack" that you hit, not a "shack".
        
         | ebjaas_2022 wrote:
         | I had a colleague some years ago, who consistently said 'add
         | hook' instead of 'ad hoc'. I never had the heart to correct
         | him.
        
         | daveslash wrote:
         | For all intensive purposes, they're the same. (I'd been saying
         | "intensive" instead of "intents and" until my mid 20s)
         | 
         | *edit: Fixed a spelling mistake. It's still early here... :-p
        
           | mhandley wrote:
           | Um, https://www.grammarly.com/blog/for-all-intents-and-
           | purposes/
        
           | circlefavshape wrote:
           | It's actually "intents and"
        
             | daveslash wrote:
             | _oof!!_ yes, embarrassing on my part for sure... it 's
             | still super early on a Monday here. I do know that it's
             | "intents", that was just my fingers typing out the wrong
             | word... corrected my comment.
        
               | mrguyorama wrote:
               | I thought you did it on purpose as a nod to the OP making
               | the same kind of mistake. Should run with that story
        
               | daveslash wrote:
               | My original comment was "I'd been saying "intensive"
               | instead of " _intense_ and " until my mid 20s"
               | 
               | I even had the "correct" version wrong! The first was a
               | nod to op, the second was a goof on my part. :-p
        
         | BryanRamirez wrote:
         | https://www.reddit.com/r/BoneAppleTea/
        
       | toyg wrote:
       | Typing. I've always been a self-taught hunt-picker, but for some
       | reason, as a teenager I picked up a terrible technique that
       | involves using thumbs for keys to the side of the spacebar.
       | 
       | Later in life I trained myself into touch-typing (and then to use
       | Colemak), but for some reason I can't seem to shake off this
       | annoying thumb bit.
        
         | truculent wrote:
         | How did you train yourself into it?
        
           | toyg wrote:
           | I used GTypist but it was a long time ago.
           | 
           | These days there are excellent tools online: ratatype,
           | typeracer, keybr, keyzen-colemak, typelit.io, typing cat,
           | speedcoder, etc etc.
           | 
           | The main approach is:
           | 
           | 1. don't look at the keyboard. Print out a layout, better if
           | color-coded to indicate which finger should be used, and put
           | it near the monitor. Whatever happens, don't look at the
           | keyboard, ever.
           | 
           | 2. index fingers on the two central keys with the little
           | rubber bit (F and J in qwerty).
           | 
           | 3. accept that it will take weeks to be as productive as you
           | were before, but then it will (should) be much easier to go
           | faster.
        
             | truculent wrote:
             | Thank you, that is really helpful.
        
         | thomastjeffery wrote:
         | Is using your pinky really any better?
         | 
         | The only way to truly get an economically "correct" typing
         | posture is to use a keyboard that actually has keys under your
         | resting hands' fingers. That means using a keyboard that was
         | designed to match the shape of _hands_ , not the shape of a
         | 19th century typewriter.
         | 
         | There is no ergonomical way to use a traditional keyboard. All
         | you can do is pick your favorite compromise. Using a better
         | layout (like Colemak) helps a lot, but it can't fix the whole
         | problem.
        
           | toyg wrote:
           | I agree wholeheartedly. I use a split keyboard and it helps a
           | lot. Unfortunately, keyboards who really go all the way are
           | still prohibitely expensive for most of us.
        
             | rgoulter wrote:
             | I think a reasonable compromise is "keyboards with 2-3 keys
             | for each thumb".
             | 
             | Rather, with 2-3 keys for each thumb, and either using home
             | row modifiers (with tap-hold, or with chording): it allows
             | for really minimizing the need to use pinkies, and
             | eliminates needing to reach for the corners where
             | Ctrl/Gui/Alt are typically placed.
        
         | hbn wrote:
         | I think using your thumb for Cmd on Mac or Alt on other
         | keyboards (i.e. the closest modifier key to the spacebar) makes
         | sense and feels like less of a position shift from homerow
         | compared to using a pinky.
         | 
         | And in fact I'd find it very hard to hit something like Cmd+Q
         | with just my left hand if I use the pinky for Cmd.
        
       | throw7 wrote:
       | Supposedly you're not to rinse after brushing so the flouride can
       | "apply" to your teeth. I think that's gross so oh well.
        
       | KVFinn wrote:
       | You aren't supposed to rinse your mouth with water after brushing
       | your teeth. You're supposed to spit excess, but leave the
       | toothpaste on to absorb.
        
         | throw1234651234 wrote:
         | Or rinse and use mouthwash with fluoride and leave that. Brush
         | from top to bottom, not side to side. "Scrape" your tooth when
         | flossing. Seems like way too many never learn these basics.
        
           | raspyberr wrote:
           | Don't use mouthwash straight after brushing. Seems like way
           | too many never learn these basics.
           | 
           | https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-teeth-and-gums/how-
           | to-k...
        
             | moffkalast wrote:
             | > It doesn't matter whether you use an electric or manual
             | toothbrush. They're both equally good
             | 
             | That's just so wrong already. Regular toothbrushes are
             | absolute trash compared to sonics, every dentist will tell
             | you that.
             | 
             | > don't use mouthwash (even a fluoride one) straight after
             | brushing your teeth or it'll wash away the concentrated
             | fluoride in the toothpaste left on your teeth
             | 
             | So in a nutshell, don't use it because it'll wash away the
             | flouride... that you've already rinsed out. Yeah not much
             | of a minus there.
        
               | wingworks wrote:
               | I've heard that studies found that electric vs manual can
               | both do a sufficient clean. But the issue is, most people
               | don't know the proper technique to use a manual brush
               | effectively. So even if you do a half ass job with an
               | electric brush, it's still better then what most would do
               | with a manual.
        
           | mhb wrote:
           | > Brush from top to bottom, not side to side.
           | 
           | Gonna need a cite on that. Pretty sure the recommendation is
           | to hold the brush at 45 degrees and use circular movements.
        
             | hdjjhhvvhga wrote:
             | Interesting. My dentist always told me the direction must
             | be from the root to the top otherwise you would just push
             | the remains of food into the gums - and it seems like a
             | logical advice to follow.
        
               | wingworks wrote:
               | This dental hygienist also says to use a circular motion
               | at and angle. https://youtu.be/FFq-2aA6m8Y?t=50
               | 
               | Maybe bring this up in your next session.
        
           | lm28469 wrote:
           | > "Scrape" your tooth when flossing. Seems like way too many
           | never learn these basics.
           | 
           | Nothing proves flossing is beneficial actually
        
             | BizarreByte wrote:
             | A nothing proves it isn't, so you might as well spend the
             | extra minute or two and do it.
        
               | lm28469 wrote:
               | Well: https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-
               | news/dental-fl...
               | 
               | Also, nothing doesn't prove eating twelve apples per day
               | cures cancer so why not try it ?
        
               | BizarreByte wrote:
               | Because I would probably feel sick if I ate that many
               | apples per day. Flossing is low effort, why not do it?
        
               | Majestic121 wrote:
               | That's quite a weird answer.
               | 
               | All else being equal, it's obviously better not to spend
               | an extra minute or two doing something useless.
               | 
               | If you think it is not actually equal, and that scraping
               | is indeed better, well say so and qualify your statement.
               | You can even say that it's recommended by dentists, it's
               | an authority argument but it surely is better than
               | nothing.
        
               | BizarreByte wrote:
               | I do think it's worth the time. My teeth _feel_
               | significantly cleaner after doing so and it removes stuff
               | my brush can't reach no matter how much I try.
               | 
               | I'm not sure why I have have to defend flossing of all
               | things. I'm not trained in that field, neither are you,
               | we should listen to the people who are and guess what?
               | They almost all recommend flossing.
               | 
               | That argument was accepted with COVID vaccines, so why
               | not now?
        
               | CorrectHorseBat wrote:
               | You said
               | 
               | >A nothing proves it isn't, so you might as well
               | 
               | That's completely different from
               | 
               | >I'm not trained in that field, neither are you, we
               | should listen to the people who are and guess what? They
               | almost all recommend flossing.
        
               | [deleted]
        
               | pb7 wrote:
               | > That argument was accepted with COVID vaccines, so why
               | not now?
               | 
               | Far from universally and even in the pockets where it
               | was, at least some percentage did it just to be able to
               | go back to doing normal things which were gated by
               | government rules.
               | 
               | Don't do anything blindly. They won't be the ones bearing
               | the cost if and when something goes wrong.
        
             | spicyusername wrote:
             | What is there to prove...?
             | 
             | If the goal of toothbrushing and flossing is to remove
             | bacteria and food debris from your mouth, hopefully an
             | uncontroversial premise, it's pretty obvious how flossing
             | helps.
             | 
             | Just flossing and carefully watching the action of the
             | floss and the plaque is sufficient to demonstrate the
             | benefit.
             | 
             | Sometimes your common sense is more than enough to make
             | sense of the world, no ivy league double blind study
             | required.
        
               | shard wrote:
               | It's a question of return on investment. If spending the
               | extra minute everyday saves a probable $10k over your
               | lifetime due to dental work, then yes it might be worth
               | it. But if it saves a probable $10, it might not.
        
               | kodt wrote:
               | Not flossing makes your dental visits longer as they
               | scrape off all the plaque from in-between your teeth.
               | Just avoiding that discomfort is worth it IMO.
               | 
               | I suppose you could skip going to the dentist altogether
               | but that comes with risks of larger issues down the road.
        
               | spicyusername wrote:
               | The cost of the dental work pales in comparison to the
               | value of keeping your natural teeth, which is going to be
               | much much much higher than $10k over your lifetime.
        
             | oarfish wrote:
             | I think i read somewhere that the reason for this is that
             | virtually all dentists agree you should clean your entire
             | tooth, and the consensus is so universal that no one
             | bothers to do controlled trials. I would feel bad not
             | cleaning half of the surface area at all anyways.
        
             | derbOac wrote:
             | Meta-analyses of RCTs do indicate flossing prevents gum
             | disease, though, which is important. See another poster in
             | this thread who suffered bone loss as a result of gum
             | disease.
             | 
             | You're right though that there's no established effect on
             | cavities.
             | 
             | Having said that, it's difficult to get people to actually
             | floss, so there's a certain amount of uncertainty about the
             | results of those RCTs, and whether participants were doing
             | what they were supposed to be doing.
        
             | g3e0 wrote:
             | Smell the floss ;)
        
           | wingworks wrote:
           | I blame movies. Nearly every brushing scene has the actor
           | scrub brushing like it's nobodies business.
        
         | christkv wrote:
         | Well now I learned something new and very useful. Applying to
         | kids tonight.
        
         | PartiallyTyped wrote:
         | May I swallow? I find that my breath and tonsils feel fresher.
        
           | lm28469 wrote:
           | It's definitely not recommended, at least for fluoride
           | toothpaste, it usually is written on the box and the tube
        
             | PartiallyTyped wrote:
             | Oh. Thanks for letting me know.
        
         | arbuge wrote:
         | Wouldn't that result in the ingestion of a large quantity of
         | toothpaste over the course of a lifetime? I can't imagine that
         | would be good for you.
        
           | prettyStandard wrote:
           | It's just diatoms. We all eat all sorts of things and it's
           | fine for the most part. As long as you aren't eating actual
           | poison you are fine.
        
             | loa_in_ wrote:
             | Fluoride is toxic.
             | 
             | > We all eat all sorts of things and it's fine That's like
             | saying you can lose some IQ every so often because you'll
             | live so what
        
               | mjburgess wrote:
               | Safe: 10 mg/day
               | 
               | Toothpaste: 4mg / teaspoon
               | 
               | So you'd need to swallow several whole teaspoons to pass
               | std. safety levels
               | 
               | cf. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluoride
        
               | loa_in_ wrote:
               | Safe, means it won't have any detrimental effects, or it
               | won't be debilitating, or it won't kill me?
        
               | hdjjhhvvhga wrote:
               | That's a good question. Having not seen reliable research
               | on that point, my approach is as follows: I use a small
               | amount of toothpaste (say, 1/4th of what you see in ads
               | or less) and I spit excess. In this way in the worst
               | scenario I digest at least one order of magnitude less
               | fluoride than the threshold of the safe amount.
        
               | loa_in_ wrote:
               | Now I am fairly certain I probably use more than that
               | even, but with the complexity of biological systems it
               | might be as well saying that being shot with 10 bullets
               | is somehow better than with 1000 bullets.
               | 
               | I just point that out, because I am acutely aware how
               | good people are at convincing themselves with statistics
               | of anything, really.
        
               | beernutz wrote:
               | You are actually being hit a lot more by cosmic rays that
               | are not deflected by our atmosphere. We survive this
               | fine. This is probably a more acurate simile than the
               | bullet one, based on the amounts involved.
        
               | boomboomsubban wrote:
               | The lethal dose is 5-10 grams, the recommended safe dose
               | is 10 milligrams maximum. Between those points you'll
               | experience some pain and stomach discomfort. Regularly
               | going over the safe dose may cause some organ issues.
               | 
               | Basically, even if you swallow all your toothpaste you're
               | unlikely to have problems unless your diet is already
               | rich in fluoride, and spitting but not rinsing is fine.
        
               | prettyStandard wrote:
               | We drink Fluoide in the water.
        
               | bombolo wrote:
               | Toothpaste contains a fluoride molecule, not direct
               | fluoride. Not the same thing at all.
        
           | ChickenNugger wrote:
           | "The dose makes the poison." Even ionizing radiation
           | (sunlight) in small doses over a whole lifetime isn't really
           | harmful. Especially given that it's how we naturally make
           | vitamin D.
        
         | gedy wrote:
         | I'm glad to be wrong on that one
        
         | dartharva wrote:
         | That just feels nasty though
        
         | jaqalopes wrote:
         | This is one where I KNOW I do it wrong. The dentist prescribed
         | me a hardcore sensitivity toothpaste for an issue, but
         | emphasized that it will only work if I don't rinse after
         | brushing. But... I just can't not rinse after 30 years of
         | muscle memory. I generally remember this right as I'm rinsing.
         | The sensitivity toothpaste has not worked, of course.
        
           | stevenhuang wrote:
           | What I find helps is to rinse my tongue (run the bristles
           | over my tongue under water, but just the tongue). Then at
           | least most of the toothpaste residue sticks to my mouth and
           | teeth but not the taste.
        
           | D-Coder wrote:
           | Maybe mark the cup with something that will remind you. Clip
           | a paperclip over the edge? Store it upside down? (If you're
           | using a cup.) This could help interrupt the habit.
        
           | datastoat wrote:
           | I'm in the same boat as you -- sensitive teeth, but can't not
           | rinse. What works for me is to treat the toothpaste as a
           | "post-rinse medicated rub": squeeze out a bit more, and rub
           | it over the most sensitive teeth.
        
         | rpdillon wrote:
         | Ahh, mine is an interesting counterpoint to this!
         | 
         | I had canker sores for my entire life, well into my late 20s. I
         | tried everything: changing toothpastes (more on this in a
         | second), changing brushes, using mouthwash, being told my mouth
         | was "dirty" and I need to brush more, etc.
         | 
         | Turns out (at least for me) the sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS)
         | used as a foaming agent in (almost) every single toothpaste
         | causes canker sores. I found "canker sore toothpaste" that
         | lacks the SLS, for $7 a tube. I used it for couple of years and
         | it worked!
         | 
         | If you read up on SLS, this is not super-surprising. It's a
         | known skin irritant, and is known to cause more irritation when
         | left on the skin for more than a couple of minutes. Canker
         | sores are an autoimmune issue, so my theory is the irritation
         | triggers an immune response, leading to the sore.
         | 
         | And then I discovered if I rinse thoroughly (twice) after
         | brushing, even with normal toothpaste, I just don't get canker
         | sores anymore! Not sure if it's universal, but canker sores
         | suck so much, I hope this helps someone suffering like I was.
        
           | mixmastamyk wrote:
           | TJs: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34584009
        
           | karaterobot wrote:
           | Yes, I had the same experience. Went 40 years brushing, then
           | rinsing, then I read advice similar to the original
           | commenter's and stopped rinsing. Shortly after that, I
           | wondered why I suddenly had all these weird sores in my
           | mouth, and finally connected the dots. They went away
           | immediately after I started rinsing again.
        
           | ChadNYC wrote:
           | Interesting. I suffered from canker sores into my early 20's.
           | Finally talked to a Dr, who sent me to a nutritionist. The
           | problem for me was orange juice. I've never been sure what
           | exactly it is in OJ that caused the problem. But I do know
           | that if I drink a glass of processed orange juice today, I'll
           | wake up with a bad canker sore in 2-3 days. If I drink a
           | glass of fresh orange juice for a few days in a row, I'll get
           | the canker sores.
        
           | jkubicek wrote:
           | I've also suffered from canker sores. Vitamin B (B-12 is the
           | important one, I think) is a wonder cure. At the first sign
           | of mouth soreness I start taking daily doses of Vitamin B and
           | it cures the sores right up.
        
           | nativespecies wrote:
           | For me and my 2x monthly canker sores, it turned out I was
           | severely iron deficient and had anemia. Since taking
           | supplements, I haven't had a canker sore in 7 months.
        
             | digianarchist wrote:
             | Triamcinolone acetonide oral paste works well for canker
             | sores.
             | 
             | Much better than any over the counter stuff.
        
       | yamtaddle wrote:
       | Not using an electric toothbrush. First time I used one it felt
       | like I'd had a proper dental cleaning. An extremely half-assed
       | effort with that kind of brush beats a thorough one with a manual
       | brush. I thought they were a gimmick, but no, they're amazing.
        
         | coreyhn wrote:
         | I just discovered this recently as well. I agree it was better
         | than I thought.
        
         | dvirsky wrote:
         | Not using a water flosser as well. It always looked to me like
         | some novelty shopping channel thing. Then I got one and OMG
         | this thing cleans so well, way better than normal flossing
         | (which I was usually to lazy to do anyway).
        
         | Frost1x wrote:
         | On a similar dental hygiene note, I was told I should brush
         | before having breakfast, coffee etc. It always stood to reason
         | to me that it makes more sense to just eat my first meal and
         | drink, then brush, to keep a cleaner state of my teeth for
         | longer but supposedly according to a few dentists I spoke with,
         | the protection you get from the first brush is more significant
         | than removing those first food particles.
         | 
         | Chances are you already have a lot bacteria in your mouth and
         | once you eat your breakfast (which for many is sugary) they
         | immediately eat and consume this and produce acid. So, brush
         | before breakfast, supposedly.
        
           | moffkalast wrote:
           | Yeah if you feel like making your breakfast taste like
           | garbage as the toothpaste blocks sweetness receptors.
        
             | thfuran wrote:
             | You can get toothpaste without sodium lauryl sulfate.
        
               | moffkalast wrote:
               | TIL, that would be interesting to try then. I hope
               | they're not overly expensive?
        
               | thfuran wrote:
               | I think it's often like 2-3x the price of cheaper brands,
               | but that doesn't really add up to much ongoing cost.
        
               | mixmastamyk wrote:
               | Trader Joe's peppermint anticavity toothpaste. Was a bit
               | odd at first as it has baking soda in it, but after a
               | tube or two I think regular toothpaste is really the odd
               | tasting one now. Cheapish.
        
           | high_byte wrote:
           | brush before and have a good wash after as well
        
           | jaimehrubiks wrote:
           | If I brush before eating the food tastes bad
        
             | vlabakje90 wrote:
             | This is due to the foaming agents used in most toothpastes.
             | The biggest culprit is sodium lauryl (ether) sulphate
             | (SLES/ SLS). These foaming agents are surfactants and they
             | bind to certain taste receptors in your mouth, thus
             | altering your taste perception. You can avoid this entirely
             | by switching your toothpaste to something that uses no
             | foaming agents or those of the non-surfactant type.
        
               | ornornor wrote:
               | Some people are also allergic to them. I was getting
               | canker sores in my mouth for years without understand
               | why.
               | 
               | Then my cousin discovered he's allergic to SLS. I quit
               | toothpaste with SLS and I never get them anymore. It's
               | rare but you never know who else struggles with it and
               | doesn't know.
        
             | HPsquared wrote:
             | Same, I naturally avoid anything acidic after brushing,
             | things like orange juice just taste horrible after
             | brushing.
        
           | Georgelemental wrote:
           | Seems to me like one should just not eat a sugary breakfast?
        
             | OJFord wrote:
             | Acidity is more the issue aiui, I don't really eat
             | breakfast typically but my dentist's example was coffee (to
             | which I don't add sugar) - drink water after coffee, and
             | don't brush for half an hour after.
        
           | jarek83 wrote:
           | Funny, all my dentists always urged me to do morning brush
           | after breakfast. It seemed to correlate to "brush after each
           | meal" thing.
        
             | OJFord wrote:
             | Mine says half an hour before or after, which I like
             | because it makes sense. He also suggests after lunch, and
             | of course in the evening, which obviously comes after
             | breakfast - so it's kind of annoying (you know, to the kind
             | of person spending time on HN) to leave it at 'brush before
             | breakfast not after' or vice versa...
        
             | exitb wrote:
             | Since apparently you can get two conflicting "educated"
             | opinions, chances are it doesn't matter anyway.
        
           | oarfish wrote:
           | I think it's both the bacteria thing - getting rid of them
           | before they can start metablizing your food into stuff to
           | harm your enamel - and the idea that directly following food
           | intake, your mouth pH level will be out of homeostasis and
           | enamel may be easier to erode at "non-native" pHs and one
           | shouldn't brush directly after. I'm not sure where I got that
           | from though.
        
             | Frost1x wrote:
             | Yup, both removing them first and then layering a bit of
             | protection (fluoride).
        
           | hawk_ wrote:
           | This can go wrong in either direction. If you brush your
           | teeth and have milk shortly after, the fluoride binds to the
           | calcium in milk and goes to your belly instead of staying
           | with your teeth protecting them. On the other hand if you
           | have orange juice or similar (acidic) and then brush your
           | teeth, say bye to your tooth enamel.
        
             | badpun wrote:
             | > On the other hand if you have orange juice or similar
             | (acidic) and then brush your teeth, say bye to your tooth
             | enamel.
             | 
             | How long would you recommend to wait? Or perhaps a good
             | rinsing of teeth before brushing would be enough?
        
               | hawk_ wrote:
               | Acid loosens the enamel, so careful with anything like
               | good rinsing or brushing right after consuming acidic
               | items. Just drink some water (optional light rinse) and
               | wait around 30 minutes to brush.
               | 
               | * Disclaimer: I am not a dentist, you should find a good
               | one and talk to them for real advice.
        
             | wingworks wrote:
             | Yep. Thats why they recommended to wait about 30mins after
             | brushing before you eat. Also at least 30 mins after
             | brushing before eating. Ideally don't graze eat throughout
             | the day. Highly recommend checking out the TeethTalk
             | YouTube, she's a Dental Hygienist and covers allot of
             | dental topics, and it's free. idk where your from, but
             | dentists here are crazy expensive.
             | https://www.youtube.com/@TeethTalk
        
             | tromp wrote:
             | I try to brush before eating and drinking, but on the rare
             | occasions I end up brushing afterwards, I wait the better
             | part of an hour so that the acids are well enough diluted
             | to cause trouble.
        
             | pcthrowaway wrote:
             | It's easy to get toothpaste without fluoride
        
               | fxtentacle wrote:
               | but what's the point? toothpaste is mostly a fluoride
               | delivery mechanism.
        
               | azinman2 wrote:
               | You want the fluoride to remineralize your enamel.
        
             | CabSauce wrote:
             | Don't brush before or after breakfast. Got it! Thanks!
        
               | mensetmanusman wrote:
               | If you follow all health advice, you realize the proper
               | response is to just die: it's too complicated.
        
               | FlyingSnake wrote:
               | > to just die
               | 
               | But before brushing or after brushing??!!
        
               | Firmwarrior wrote:
               | I've only been brushing my teeth before bed for like 6
               | years at this point, and flossing once a week or so. I
               | don't know if it's the fluoride alcohol mouth wash I use
               | or just dumb luck, but I haven't gotten any cavities
               | 
               | So I think that given this rigorous scientific data, you
               | can safely avoid brushing for the most part
        
               | CabSauce wrote:
               | It's complicated. There's definitely a genetic component
               | to having hard teeth.
        
               | danenania wrote:
               | A lot of it is diet too. Not eating or drinking sugary
               | things gives you much more room for error. Of course you
               | still need to brush and floss, but in my experience sugar
               | + rigorous cleaning can still leave you with cavities
               | whereas no sugar + lax cleaning you're probably fine. No
               | sugar + rigorous cleaning and you might never need a
               | dentist again. It took me way too long to understand
               | this.
        
               | myhf wrote:
               | Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And
               | drugs cause cramp.
               | 
               | Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You
               | might as well live.
        
               | Eisenstein wrote:
               | No need to worry, we are all in the process of dying, so
               | the correct answer is just to ignore everything that
               | isn't either: something that strikes you as incredibly
               | obvious (don't drink poison), recognized in its field of
               | experts (high cholesterol is bad for you), established
               | knowledge, or not too inconvenient.
        
               | smilliken wrote:
               | > recognized in its field of experts (high cholesterol is
               | bad for you)
               | 
               | Public service announcement: this one is controversial.
               | IMHO it's wrong, based on bad science and agendas, and
               | harmful because it deters people from nutritious foods. I
               | recommend everyone do their own reading to form their own
               | opinion.
               | 
               | It's sad how political food and nutrition is because it
               | causes misinformation and malnutrition.
        
               | Eisenstein wrote:
               | Are you a medical doctor or otherwise considered an
               | expert in the field of internal medicine?
        
             | satvikpendem wrote:
             | Did you know that after brushing with toothpaste you're
             | supposed to just...let the foam hang around in your mouth
             | without rinsing it out for 30 minutes? I didn't until
             | recently, and now that I do, I'm still not gonna walk
             | around with toothpaste foam in my mouth.
        
               | 8ytecoder wrote:
               | There's a particular prescription strength toothpaste I
               | use when I get sensitive teeth. I keep it specifically
               | for post-dinner brushing and it's easier to do this at
               | that time.
        
               | spelunker wrote:
               | Yeah, I learned about this a while ago and now I don't
               | rinse my mouth after brushing. Which is weird initially
               | but you get used to it.
               | 
               | I _do_ spit out excess toothpaste, which I understand
               | still leaves enough toothpaste in your mouth for it to do
               | it's thing.
        
               | valarauko wrote:
               | How much foam do you end up with? I usually don't rinse
               | out the toothpaste after, but I don't end up with a
               | foaming mouth after. I use about a pea size amount (as
               | recommended on the packaging) and it's not super sudsy
               | when I'm finished. Wipe my face and done.
        
               | satvikpendem wrote:
               | Not too much but it just feels disgusting to me to keep
               | all of the food bits still suspended in the foam in my
               | mouth.
        
               | icosa wrote:
               | I floss first, rinse, then brush. No more food bits left
               | after I spit out the extra foam.
        
               | valarauko wrote:
               | I'm confused - what food bits? Do you have detectable
               | food bits left over after brushing or is it an impression
               | that there must be food still left over?
               | 
               | At least for me, I rinse out my mouth before I brush, so
               | I don't expect to have detectable gunk left over. I also
               | use a tongue scraper after, so I'm usually feeling pretty
               | clean when I'm done.
        
               | satvikpendem wrote:
               | Well both, stuff between the teeth that the brush doesn't
               | get (I guess that's why you'd floss after brushing, but
               | also with foam in your mouth?), and also just food
               | microparticles that would go away when rinsing after
               | brushing generally.
        
               | valarauko wrote:
               | I suppose it helps to floss before brushing (as
               | recommended) but for me personally the stray particle
               | isn't something I've worried about. In my mind, the added
               | benefit of retaining the fluoride longer outweighs the
               | downsides of microparticles of food.
        
               | bmacho wrote:
               | If you have food microparticles that would go away, then
               | rinse them out, then wash your teeth again and keep that
               | foam in.
        
             | tonnydourado wrote:
             | I always drink coffee, which is acidic (I think) with milk,
             | for breakfast, so I guess I should just give up on teeth?
        
             | rojobuffalo wrote:
             | How about mouthwash first thing in the morning to nuke the
             | bacteria without coating your mouth in fluoride?
        
               | LouisSayers wrote:
               | Dentists I've been to have said not to use mouthwash - it
               | kills good bacteria too.
        
             | spoiler wrote:
             | Why is there no winning in this situation?! I have never
             | realised something as simple as brushing teeth can be so
             | nuanced lol
        
               | psychphysic wrote:
               | It's not nuanced.
               | 
               | The evidence is just lacking, people are just using
               | judgement to advise on something that we can't detect one
               | way or another with research.
               | 
               | When it comes to dental care it's not even clear, based
               | on research (Cochrane review in 2019) it flossing makes
               | any difference let alone a clinically useful difference.
               | 
               | The current advice is just based on reasoning that either
               | you brush first or wait a hour after eating due to the
               | abrasive action of brushing.
        
               | moffkalast wrote:
               | It's not clear because it IS nuanced, and it doesn't have
               | the same effect on everyone equally. Two people using the
               | exact same dental routine can have vastly different
               | results from it.
        
               | psychphysic wrote:
               | I'll take the Cochrane opinion that evidence is lacking
               | due to low quality small sample short follow up studies
               | in those with poor dental hygiene.
               | 
               | Over the random internet randos views.
               | 
               | But thanks none the less!
        
               | spoiler wrote:
               | Regarding flossing, at least in my case, it helps with my
               | gum disease. If I don't floss for a while my gums start
               | to bleed. Although, I use a water floss instead of a
               | regular rope floss
        
               | wingworks wrote:
               | Yeah, flossing is a good idea if you don't want to get
               | gum disease. Also a good idea to learn to floss
               | correctly, not just a quick "in and out". (also good idea
               | so you don't get cavities on the edges of your teeth.)
               | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WviE5aa5Ha0 (how to
               | floss)
        
               | ornornor wrote:
               | I'm glad ifnflossing helps fights cavity but the main
               | reason I do it is because it's so gross not to. When you
               | don't floss you basically accept to keep bits of rotten
               | food between your teeth for days. If you're unconvinced,
               | don't floss for a week and then do, see what comes out.
               | And don't smell it. I warned you.
        
               | [deleted]
        
               | psychphysic wrote:
               | Yeah they really hooked the public with that.
               | 
               | Same with hair, and bacteria on surfaces.
               | 
               | Completely hookwinked Jo public.
        
               | OJFord wrote:
               | People's teeth (and brushing technique/effectiveness) are
               | way too varied to make such a general statement. I
               | flossed for the first time at some point in my 20s, did
               | religiously for a year or so thereafter, and still do
               | occasionally - but at no point was it like 'how on Earth
               | have I not been doing this' or loads of gunk coming out,
               | nevermind rotten and smelly. Maybe you have just the
               | 'right' tooth gap that it's both too tight for your
               | brushing but not so tight that stuff doesn't get stuck.
               | 
               | (And for whatever it's worth, all dental check-ups since
               | some point in my early teens at the latest have just been
               | a quick look around and yep all good - I'm not saying
               | this from a position (touching wood I don't eat my hat
               | next time of course) of terrible dental health.)
        
               | wingworks wrote:
               | A checkup shouldn't be too quick, there are things they
               | should be checking and looking out for:
               | https://youtu.be/sDe50j0MFBU?t=95 (Dental Office RED
               | FLAGS)
        
               | tonnydourado wrote:
               | > People's teeth (and brushing technique/effectiveness)
               | are way too varied
               | 
               | You're absolutely correct, because I don't floss that
               | often, but every time I do a whole meal comes out, so I'm
               | incredibly envious of your naturally clean teeth XD
        
               | 8ytecoder wrote:
               | Saliva does help in preventing bacteria build up. [1]
               | 
               | [1] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1961328/
        
               | moneywoes wrote:
               | I guess a diet without those foods is the best solution
               | 
               | Didn't people not brush at all in the past but still had
               | perfect teeth?
        
               | kgc wrote:
               | They had two sets of teeth and they were perfect for the
               | average life expectancy of around 35.
        
               | soiler wrote:
               | I'm pretty sure prehistoric people did have primitive
               | tooth care, didn't eat junk food and high-sugar diets,
               | and still had nasty teeth.
        
               | Firther wrote:
               | Genes, climate, and types of local foods play a role too,
               | but widespread adoption of agriculture made diets rich in
               | carbs and starchy foods possible, which isn't great for
               | dental health, and the somewhat recent trend (last 200~
               | years) of highly processed foods that are softer and
               | easier to chew means there's less mechanisms to deal with
               | tooth overcrowding. This has been observed in children
               | from hunter gatherer societies, raised on modern diets,
               | having worse dental hygiene than their parents.
        
               | abdullahkhalids wrote:
               | > Teeth-cleaning twigs have long been used throughout
               | human history.[2] As long ago as 3000 B.C., the ancient
               | Egyptians constructed crude toothbrushes from twigs and
               | leaves to clean their teeth. Similarly, other cultures
               | such as the Greeks, Romans, Arabs and Indians also
               | cleaned their teeth with twigs. Some would fray one end
               | of the twig so that it could penetrate between the teeth
               | more effectively.
               | 
               | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tooth_brushing
        
               | coldpie wrote:
               | IMO teeth are the worst part of the human body. Hard to
               | take care of, will inevitably fail, not replaceable,
               | massively painful for even minor injuries. Evolution
               | really screwed the pooch on teeth.
        
               | D-Coder wrote:
               | Well, teeth perform perhaps the most difficult task of
               | the entire body. Take entirely external substances of all
               | kinds of textures and densities and contaminants, crush
               | all that to tiny particles, try not to get worn down too
               | far in the process...
        
               | mensetmanusman wrote:
               | Teeth are amazing. One of the areas where human crystal
               | formation happens. Our modern diets are horrible for
               | teeth.
               | 
               | https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t4RgBZlKlJI
               | 
               | Evolution expects us to grind away about a millimeter of
               | our teeth while we are young by eating rougher things to
               | make way for wisdom teeth, for example.
               | 
               | For healthy teeth, you should be very hydrated. If your
               | mouth isn't watering, you might not be hydrated enough.
        
               | tete wrote:
               | Haven't watched the video, but:
               | 
               | > One of the areas where human crystal formation happens
               | 
               | Especially one of the areas where you want crystals to
               | form. Unlike in your urinary and bladders. ;)
        
               | [deleted]
        
               | moffkalast wrote:
               | Sharks really got the good teeth genes.
        
               | tete wrote:
               | Would be fun too have re-growing teeth, probably not so
               | fun to swallow them in those sizes so frequently.
        
               | tete wrote:
               | Spines seem to be similar in that regard. Huge "fuckup"
               | (bound to fail badly) in many ways, but freed hands.
               | 
               | Feels like engineering: It's all trade-offs.
        
               | satvikpendem wrote:
               | People in the past had better teeth than us, it's the
               | sugar these days that cause so many dental problems. If
               | you ate like those in the past, you similarly will have
               | good teeth.
        
               | hawk_ wrote:
               | Our diet is nothing like what our teeth evolved for. For
               | example for most people, cutting down the amount of
               | sugars (down to levels similar to our prehistoric
               | ancestors) they consume can go a long way in protecting
               | dental health (and general health for that matter)
        
               | bee_rider wrote:
               | Somewhere evolution is saying "well I gave you four
               | perfectly decent extra molars that you insist on ripping
               | out, if you kept those your teeth would be mostly fine
               | for however long your are supposed to live. Mid 50's?"
        
               | HPsquared wrote:
               | Teeth are the canary in the coal mine. "The canary is the
               | worst part of the coal mine, it can hardly handle
               | anything!"
        
               | godelski wrote:
               | > I have never realised something as simple as brushing
               | teeth can be so nuanced lol
               | 
               | I feel like replacing "brushing teeth" with literally
               | anything and your sentence is also correct and a good way
               | to think. Especially the things we think are easy.
               | There's a reason it took us thousands of years to do
               | certain things.
        
           | jjice wrote:
           | I couldn't imagine consuming anything before brushing my
           | teeth, but this is coming from a retainer wearer so I think
           | that might have something to do with it.
        
           | born1989 wrote:
           | Yes. Best talk on teeth hygiene and anatomy (in that order)
           | I've heard - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/patricia-
           | corby-d-d-s-i...
        
           | algorias wrote:
           | IIRC the reason for this is that antibodies are actually in
           | your saliva, which moves around your mouth much less while
           | you're sleeping. Thus, bacteria have a more favorable
           | environment at night.
        
             | muzani wrote:
             | That would explain morning breath.
        
               | ornornor wrote:
               | I found that rinsing my mouth after brushing and before
               | going to bed with baking soda dissolved in water makes a
               | notable difference there.
               | 
               | And don't use Listerine etc, their alcohol content is way
               | too high and leads to cancer over time apparently.
        
           | bobbylarrybobby wrote:
           | I've heard that brushing right after eating is really bad for
           | your teeth because just after you eat, the bacteria in your
           | mouth start producing acid that, for lack of a better word,
           | loosens the surface enamel in your teeth, and brushing in
           | that state discards that enamel instead of letting it
           | resettle after the acid washes away.
           | 
           | The solubility of enamel is insanely low so the effect should
           | be minor at most, but still.
        
         | bxhsjbaian wrote:
         | I switched back from an electric toothbrush to a regular one.
         | My biggest issue withthe electric tooth brushes, distractions.
         | You have 2 mins, 30 seconds for each quadrant. If while I brush
         | someone talks to me e.g. what do you want for breakfast, or you
         | see something that distracts you e.g s spec of dust on the
         | mirror that you quickly clean up. I end up feeling like I didnt
         | do a good job on one of the quadrants. Yes you can start over
         | and do more but I generally dont. So I wanted to get rid of the
         | artificial 2 min time limit. :)
        
           | arcticfox wrote:
           | This reasoning is completely foreign to me.
           | 
           | You're ditching it because sometimes you lose track of the
           | time (and don't want to push the button again) for something
           | that doesn't have a timer at all?
        
             | bxhsjbaian wrote:
             | I generally take my time and am very thorough in brushing
             | my teeth. It just works for me. Had my first and only
             | cavity in my mid 30s. I floss everyday. To me it seemed
             | like needlessly complicating something simple.
             | 
             | Must say, I just checked back HN and am surprised by this
             | comment all grayed out. It is a real experience and life
             | choice that's working for me. Not sure what to make of it.
             | Guess just don't bother disagreeing online :)
        
           | giantg2 wrote:
           | Somebody asks you what you want for breakfast?
           | 
           | Clearly youve figured something out and I've been doing
           | something wrong my whole life.
        
           | itisit wrote:
           | This setting you refer to can be disabled on most every
           | Philips electric toothbrush that has it.
        
           | thiht wrote:
           | I have a basic Oral-B electric tooth brush and you can
           | actually "pause" it. I gag easily so I sometimes need to turn
           | it off, and when I restart it it remembers where it was. So
           | sometimes I restart it, continue what I was doing and it
           | buzzes after 5-10 seconds because I was almost finished.
           | 
           | If a basic model does it, I'd guess they all do it!
           | 
           | Also don't forget you can ignore the vibrations, just
           | continue after the 2 minutes and count in your head if you
           | need it.
        
         | petodo wrote:
         | This. I discovered electric toothbrush in my mid 30s, I have
         | good teeth and brushed already with regular toobrush pretty
         | good, but to be really thorough I had to be always tired after
         | brushing, now with electric toothbrush I can achieve same
         | result with less energy, less tired.
         | 
         | Btw. I went through bunch of cheap noname toothbrushes to
         | realize there is reason you pay for Philips and Oral-B brands,
         | all cheap toothbrushes will fail within few weeks/months due to
         | humidity or other failures, didn't have such experience with
         | those two famous brands, wife and me use Oral-B Pulsonic Slim
         | for years (extremely slim and light, but less powerful), for
         | son who had problem with teeth I bought a bit better (heavier
         | but more powerful) Philips HX6511 (still quite cheap, next time
         | I'd buy this also for myself). Daughter has still cheap Xiaomi,
         | waiting when it will finally break (from 4 I bought 3 broken),
         | then will probably go for same Philips.
         | 
         | Btw. be aware most of the electric toothbrushes still use old
         | NiCd batteries with memory effect, so to achieve maximum
         | battery life/longetivity you should NOT leave tootbrush in
         | charger, but charge it only when it runs out of battery, if you
         | keep it in charger stand it is significantly decreasing battery
         | life with each charging to the point it is useless already by
         | the end of warranty.
        
         | qwerty456127 wrote:
         | My dentist told me I should only use a sonic toothbrush
         | Sonicare or similar because they actually clean while
         | rotational electronic toothbrushes almost literally sweep the
         | crap to under your gums (so they clean the teeth but harm gum
         | gealth).
        
           | havaloc wrote:
           | Mine told me the rotational ones are better. And I think
           | there's some empirical evidence there because when they
           | polish your teeth, they use a rotational tool.
        
         | ramraj07 wrote:
         | Disagreed; bought and used multiple electric toothbrushes and
         | quickly stopped. I felt I always did a better job myself; turns
         | out I instinctually brushed for 2 minutes minimum and ensured I
         | didn't just do the circular motion (as the dentist pointed out
         | the second and last time I went to one in my life). Also, I
         | never flossed, I have an anecdotal theory that if you never
         | floss you never open the gaps in your teeth so it's actually
         | better. Touch wood haven't had to do anything to my teeth even
         | though my dietary habits are some of the worst anyone around me
         | has seen
        
           | toxik wrote:
           | Some people just don't get cavities very easily. You are
           | extrapolating from that.
           | 
           | Floss. For the love of God, floss. People carry around
           | chronic gum infections in between teeth. Ask me how I know.
        
             | altdataseller wrote:
             | How do you know?
        
             | AuthorizedCust wrote:
             | Except the evidence on flossing isn't strongly in its
             | favor: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/tossing-
             | flossing-2016081...
        
               | Oddskar wrote:
               | Of course anecdotal evidence, but I solved the recurring
               | inflammation issues I had by having a routine that
               | includes flossing an interdental brushes.
               | 
               | At a certain point you know where your "problem areas"
               | are and where food tend to get stuck.
        
               | toxik wrote:
               | Same thing here, I think this is really common and the
               | "lack of evidence" as the article tries to frame it is
               | just because it's so obvious.
               | 
               | There is also a lack of peer reviewed studies showing
               | that you can drown in water but that doesn't mean it
               | isn't true.
        
             | ramraj07 wrote:
             | What evidence do you have to support flossing being
             | effective in people who have never flossed in their life
             | (such population exists?) who also brush well..
        
           | aatd86 wrote:
           | I don't know wvy you are downvoted.
           | 
           | So have I. And several dentists have actually recommended
           | manual brushing to me as well.
           | 
           | On the other hand, water flossing has been a boon against
           | dental plaque and bad breath. I used to never floss.
           | 
           | Disgusting mistake... A lot of food particles get stuck in
           | the teeth interstitial spaces, macerating in there overnight
           | or even several days... Yuck. :x
        
         | kirso wrote:
         | Literally discovered this only a month ago :( I wish I've done
         | it sooner.
        
         | rjh29 wrote:
         | I've tried both water jets and electric toothbrushes and they
         | do nothing for me. In particular the tiny circular brush just
         | didn't feel as good as the full-sized bristles on a normal
         | brush. I didn't feel as clean afterwards.
        
         | J_cst wrote:
         | I had the exact same experience. I always thought that the
         | electric toothbrush was something for lazy ppl, then only
         | recently - spotting one of the best electric brushes heavily
         | discounted - I bought it. I felt I never had my teeth so clean.
         | A game changer.
        
         | matwood wrote:
         | Not just electric, but a SonicCare style brush. It's like
         | leaving the dentist every time I brush.
        
           | imglorp wrote:
           | This. It's not really an electric toothbrush but you get far
           | cleaner than one. My dentist is insistent.
           | 
           | I've had the same base model for 10+ years going strong.
        
             | ornornor wrote:
             | It's hard to trust dentists on this when they're all in the
             | pocket of either Oral B or Sonicare and will recommend
             | whichever one pays them.
             | 
             | Ditto "vet" food for pets, they're very biased.
        
               | Wohlf wrote:
               | fwiw my dentist doesn't shill any products and still
               | highly recommends an electric brush, even the worst ones
               | are better than you can do yourself. She also said a
               | water flosser is great for gum health but to still use
               | floss at least a few times a week because they can
               | struggle with large bits getting stuck where the teeth
               | make contact.
        
               | abdullahkhalids wrote:
               | There is no conclusive evidence that flossing is helpful.
               | 
               | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dental_floss#Evidence
        
               | ornornor wrote:
               | Maybe. A roll of floss is 3$ and 5 minutes a day. A
               | filling at the dentist is 300-500$ and lasts 5-10 years
               | before needing to be replaced + the pain. I'd rather
               | floss just in case, it's a cheap insurance policy at best
               | and it does nothing at worst.
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | fatnoah wrote:
         | > Not using an electric toothbrush. First time I used one it
         | felt like I'd had a proper dental cleaning.
         | 
         | Same here. It's completely changed my life. For mini-me, the
         | built-in timer helps them be sure to brush enough.
        
           | kibwen wrote:
           | For ADHD brain, the timer built into the toothbrush makes all
           | the difference. Sometimes that 30 second interval feels like
           | five seconds, and sometimes I could swear it's been five
           | minutes and I start wondering if it's broken. Nope, that's
           | just ADHD time blindness. I almost certainly never brushed
           | for anywhere close to long enough prior to my electric
           | toothbrush.
        
             | fatnoah wrote:
             | Mini-me also has ADHD and the electric toothbrush has made
             | trips to the dentist far more enjoyable.
        
           | vultour wrote:
           | I wish there was a way to change the timer because I find it
           | ridiculously short, I'm usually barely halfway through when
           | the entire cycle is finished.
        
             | browningstreet wrote:
             | My electric vibrates the timer.. I just brush each quarter
             | of my mouth for each timer period. The vibration is
             | annoying, but it's a routine that works for me.
        
         | LeonenTheDK wrote:
         | Can confirm, I couldn't get over how clean my teeth felt the
         | first time I used an electric toothbrush in adulthood. The
         | vibrating rattled my skull at first though, that took a few
         | sessions to get used to haha.
        
         | champagnepapi wrote:
         | THIS! I used to get like 5 cavaites a year, costing me between
         | $300-$900 a year with insurance (US). Then i spent like $120 on
         | an electric toothbrush, nothing ever since, and my gums are so
         | much healthier according to my dentist. I learned this at age
         | 29. Wish i used them years earlier!
        
         | xyzelement wrote:
         | Yup! Also the Phillips ones are just based on vibration (as
         | opposed to some rotation in oral-b) which is also much better
         | for your teeth and gums.
        
           | pelagic_sky wrote:
           | Huh, my dentist told me not to get the oral-b because the
           | rotation is bad for your teeth. They mentioned sonic as the
           | preferred because the motion matches the grain of your teeth.
        
           | gambiting wrote:
           | Or the Oral-B equivalent, the Pulsonic. I found it to be a
           | great upgrade from my old electric toothrush(and it seems a
           | lot more higenic too, because there are no spaces between the
           | bristles in the head to allow movement, since the entire head
           | is vibrating).
        
           | BilalBudhani wrote:
           | I'm about to order one for myself. Which model are you using?
           | I'm thinking of getting 5100.
        
             | wafflemaker wrote:
             | got a diamondclean and it took out some plaque that I
             | couldn't get rid off for a long time.
             | 
             | Used Chinese knock off for a long time, a Soocas. Recently
             | thought about upgrading from $30 Chinese to $80 Chinese
             | (OClean), the latter failed after 2 months. YMMMV ofc, but
             | after that, and reading on HN about Chinese stealing IP
             | from Europe, we thought about getting a Phillips (which my
             | dentist recommended). It was a Black Friday deal, and
             | knowing the differene between 5100 or 5XXX and one of the
             | top brushes, Diamondclean, was like 1/4th of a dentist
             | visit - we got the latter. And both me and wife think it's
             | awesome. + you get a travel etui. The app sucks just like
             | the Soocas and OClean app, but the vibration every 30s is
             | enough "smartness" for me.
             | 
             | Funny that the cheap Chinese sonic brush (Soocas) is still
             | working well and I'm thinking about getting a shoe cleaning
             | brush set for it.
             | 
             | Phillips toothbrush doesn't last as long on one charge as
             | the Chinese brushes do.
        
             | fdgsdfogijq wrote:
             | One word of advice: The more expensive ones are better. You
             | dont need to spend 200$, but the 80$ one is much better
             | than a 30$ one.
        
               | guskel wrote:
               | What makes you say that? From what I've seen they all use
               | the same actuator.
        
               | ornornor wrote:
               | That's not the case for the Oral B ones. They're pretty
               | much all the same, but the more expensive ones have more
               | blinken lights and sometimes an app.
        
           | SpaghettiX wrote:
           | Many people (including myself) have found their "sonicare"
           | toothbrush break within 6 months. I got mine replaced under
           | warranty, and it broke again after 1 year.
           | 
           | Why does a 3 year old video for repairing Sonicare toothbrush
           | have 425K reviews on YouTube:
           | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3PBPU2jXbo, with 2.8K
           | upvotes and 192 downvotes. It breaks because a screw goes
           | loose inside the toothbrush.
           | 
           | I recommend you avoid Phillips electric toothbrush
           | completely. I used a oral-B electric toothbrush for at least
           | 8 years with no issues. And Phillips breaks in 6 months.
        
             | pawelduda wrote:
             | We replaced their sonicare toothbrush twice already. First
             | one somehow ended up getting water inside and stopped
             | working, second one I think had bent the toothbrush mount
             | too much and it also would disconnect - could've been user
             | error because it was unintentionally pushed harder than it
             | was required. IMO they still have decent price and
             | durability otherwise, compared to everything else so far,
             | and no stupid gimmicks such as an app, lol.
        
             | zucked wrote:
             | I have three different Sonicare toothbrushes in my house,
             | ranging from 2 years old to probably pushing 5 years old.
             | They've all been flawless - even the one my kiddo uses and
             | abuses.
        
             | wwalexander wrote:
             | Mine broke after 2 years, but I think that's because I
             | dropped it, pointy-side down, onto tile, without a brush
             | head on it.
        
             | navan wrote:
             | My soniccare is more than 8 years old and is working fine.
        
             | bena wrote:
             | YMMV, because I just replaced my 6-ish year old Sonicare
             | because the motor seemed like it was dying out.
             | 
             | I say 6-ish, but it's got to be longer than that, because
             | it was three addresses and a job ago.
        
             | josephpmay wrote:
             | I've used the same Sonicare toothbrush for 20 years. It
             | somehow still holds a nearly month-long charge. It's sad to
             | hear their quality has gone downhill
        
               | bckr wrote:
               | Gentle reminder to anyone reading this to replace the
               | bristle head regularly...!
        
             | guskel wrote:
             | I've wondered the same. The reason is that they aren't
             | waterproof and water leaks onto the circuit board.
             | 
             | I recommend buying the cheapest option and getting a
             | warranty with them. I wish Philips could just figure out
             | how to waterproof them properly instead of creating so much
             | waste.
        
             | adamsmith143 wrote:
             | Pure anecdata. My own says that my Sonicare has been
             | bulletproof and has survived years of use and international
             | travel.
        
               | mwigdahl wrote:
               | Same here. We have four and all have worked excellently
               | for years.
        
         | informalo wrote:
         | Something related I came to know only recently is that it has
         | been shown to be more effective to floss _before_ brushing
         | teeth. I have been doing it the other way around my entire
         | life.
        
           | Kiro wrote:
           | Don't you leave a lot of scraps after flossing? Not brushing
           | afterwards is unthinkable to me.
        
         | ericol wrote:
         | Some 15+ years ago (Don't quite remember the year, probably
         | 2005) I bought myself an electric brush. My gf at the time
         | mocked me for wasting money on "such an useless thing".
         | 
         | A few months later she went together with her sister to their
         | annual dentist checkup. The dentist praised her sister for how
         | clean her teeth were, while he told my gf hers were "OK". What
         | was it that her sister was doing differently? She was using an
         | electric toothbrush.
         | 
         | I'm pretty certain you can guess what was the very first thing
         | my then gf did coming out of the dentist.
        
         | e40 wrote:
         | Try using a water flosser after regular floss. You will be
         | genuinely surprised how much crap comes out. Since I started
         | that routine, my hygienist has become extra friendly and chatty
         | and say she loves working on my teeth.
        
         | onlyrealcuzzo wrote:
         | On the flip side, don't brush your gums too much with an
         | electric toothbrush.
         | 
         | I destroyed my gums when my parents got me an electric
         | toothbrush when I was 13 - and AFAIK - there's still not really
         | any way to repair it.
         | 
         | Please, someone correct me if I'm wrong! Would make my day to
         | be wrong.
        
           | aszantu wrote:
           | I don't know if this will work, depending if they're scarred
           | or open, gelatine might work, add to warm water until
           | dissolved, then keep in mouth for a while then swallow - I
           | used to have reflux, gelatine helped a lot - it's also good
           | for joint-pain (if u still have jelly in the joints that can
           | be replenished)
        
             | danparsonson wrote:
             | I'm sorry this doesn't sound plausible - any links you
             | could share? How does gelatine repair gums, or travel from
             | your stomach to your joints without being broken down
             | somewhere along the way?
        
           | ornornor wrote:
           | Same here. Nothing to do as stopping the hard brushing
           | stopped recession progress and gum graft is a heavy,
           | expensive procedure that definitely leaves marks on the gums.
           | It also makes me queasy knowing you're basically getting gums
           | grafted from a donor who died. Mine are recessed enough that
           | it can get painful brushing after eating too acidic foods but
           | not enough to justify the procedure. For acidic foods, I
           | rinse my mouth with baking soda dissolved in water right
           | after eating and it helps a lot. Dentists can also apply
           | fluoride to the exposed parts but it tastes horrible while
           | they do it, and only lasts a few weeks before it's gone.
        
             | wingworks wrote:
             | If you can get it, try use some Biomin F toothpaste for a
             | good few weeks. I've got exposed parts of lower teeth too
             | due to over brushing. This toothpaste goes a looong way to
             | reducing sensitivity to near zero levels.
        
           | graeme wrote:
           | Pretty sure they can do a gum graft by taking piece of the
           | roof of your mouth
        
           | wingworks wrote:
           | Yeah, this! Also, if you still use manual brush (don't), use
           | soft bristle and be gental. Harder is not better when it
           | comes to tooth brushing. Don't do what you typically see in
           | movies.
           | 
           | As for your gums, they don't grow back I believe, but you can
           | get surgery of sorts by using other parts of your mouth and
           | stick them in your gums. See;
           | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tF6EgSM5TlA
        
           | jasongrout wrote:
           | If it's gum recession, you could try talking to a
           | periodontist about a gum graft.
        
           | browningstreet wrote:
           | I used to brush and avoid touching my gums.. then I had a
           | dentist insist I should also be brushing across my gum lines
           | to keep them healthy. So, not sure if you went crazy with the
           | electric, or if maybe it was something else? Also, not sure
           | if you called 5 dentists if you'd get 1, or more than 1
           | opinion on this. But I am told I have healthy gyms and I do
           | brush over the line between tooth and gum.
        
             | solarmist wrote:
             | My guess would be too much pressure and too much focus on
             | the gums. Get all the way to the gums but don't brush
             | directly on them, just angle the tip to barely touch the
             | gums.
        
         | aszantu wrote:
         | I recently learned, that you can use crushed eggshells to
         | replenish calcium in teeth, just add them to the toothe paste.
         | (I use a canine supplement)
         | 
         | If you're teeth-grinder at night, a few tiny pieces of
         | eggshells help keep the grinding at bay, because you can grind
         | on a piece of eggshell without danger and then relax again.
        
           | acomms wrote:
           | Are you saying this method is to sleep with eggshells in your
           | mouth?
        
           | moffkalast wrote:
           | Jesse, what the hell are you talking about?
        
         | sergiosgc wrote:
         | This, but for water jet flossing. Why did I muck around for
         | decades with strings in my mouth? A water jet is a lot less
         | effort and much much more efficient/effective.
         | 
         | P.S. If you never tried these gizmos, get a portable, battery
         | powered one, so you can use it over the bathtub (or in the
         | bathtub). They tend to soak everything around you.
        
           | hanniabu wrote:
           | I never got used to water flossing, how do you know where to
           | aim it while it's in your mouth? Are you literally dragging
           | the tip across your gum line? I always had trouble getting
           | the proper angle (perpendicular to teeth) and then when it
           | comes to the front teeth it's impossible to do behind them
           | because the tips don't have enough of an angle to them and
           | you're also shooting water everywhere.
        
           | worthless-trash wrote:
           | I saw these, but they felt a bit scammy, what model are you
           | using ?
        
             | kccqzy wrote:
             | I have the cheapest Waterpik and it's still amazing how
             | much the water jet helps with dislodging various food bits
             | trapped between teeth.
        
             | Version467 wrote:
             | Not who you were asking, but I use a Waterpik WP-100 and
             | I'm very happy with it. According to my dentist they are
             | less effective than normal flossing, but I hate flossing
             | and was never able to do it on a regular basis, whereas I
             | use the Waterpik once a day.
             | 
             | I worked my way up to a fairly high pressure and it
             | regularly removes stuff that I missed with my electric
             | toothbrush. It also leaves you with a very fresh and clean
             | mouth feel.
             | 
             | I also wasn't very sure about them when I first looked into
             | it, but it's really not a snake-oil product. It's also not
             | the holy grail of dental health, just a reasonable
             | alternative to flossing.
        
               | TurkishPoptart wrote:
               | How do you clean these out? It's gotten backed up due to
               | water deposits and no longer gives the nice pressure
               | feeling.
        
             | kubanczyk wrote:
             | I use Panasonic EW-1211W. Much better than brushing.
        
             | mturmon wrote:
             | I have a Waterpik cordless and it has been very good - the
             | industrial design is meh but it does the job. It's nice to
             | have a simple handheld unit. I have some gaps between teeth
             | that can trap food and cause gum disease.
             | 
             | It's used in combination with brushing, of course - water-
             | pik then brush.
             | 
             | It's a WF-02 ... it's the kind with 3 AA cells that I have
             | rechargeables in (this is better for my bathroom setup).
        
         | arcticfox wrote:
         | 100%, and just a quick note that the quality of the brush makes
         | a surprising difference. I was always skimping and buying
         | $5-$10 electric toothbrushes when I tried in the past and was
         | underwhelmed.
         | 
         | I finally tried a name brand brush from Costco when my wife
         | insisted and it blew my mind. Actually excited to go to the
         | dentist to see what they say this time when I'm not full of
         | plaque for once
        
         | mooreds wrote:
         | I wanted to be sold on an electric toothbrush, but I've only
         | used one off and on.
         | 
         | How did you get into the habit?
        
           | gwbas1c wrote:
           | I go to two different hygienists and they both recommended
           | the fancy Sonicare.
           | 
           | Specifically, the one you connect to your phone coaches you
           | on the right amount of pressure and time to use throughout
           | your mouth.
        
             | ornornor wrote:
             | Because they get money from Sonicare for selling them. They
             | might really be better but how can you trust dentists on
             | this when they're all bought by either Oral B or Sonicare
             | :(
        
           | bckr wrote:
           | > an electric toothbrush, but I've only used one off and on
           | 
           | There's a good little joke in here.
           | 
           | FWIW, I've gone back and forth on electric toothbrushes and
           | settled on non-electric. I've found that a medium-firmness
           | bristle and a rigorous and thorough brushing is what leaves
           | me feeling cleanest. Plus it's simple, easy to replace, and
           | easier to properly dispose of.
           | 
           | Then again, maybe a super high end electric would change my
           | mind.
        
             | johnmaguire wrote:
             | Out of curiosity which toothbrushes have you tried? I've
             | been using a Sonicare and on the few occasions I've needed
             | to use a manual toothbrush since it's been night-and-day.
        
               | bckr wrote:
               | It's been years since I used electric, couldn't tell ya
        
             | rjh29 wrote:
             | I was not impressed either, but I used a fairly cheap one.
             | The people raving about them seem to have spent quite a lot
             | on a high-end toothbrush. Manual brushing always feels good
             | to me though.
             | 
             | Maybe it's like a lot of things - expensive coffee beans,
             | 144 Hz monitors, dvorak keyboards - the "it's
             | lifechanging!" people are vocal, but 99.9% of people don't
             | care about it at all.
        
           | rjh29 wrote:
           | 1. Buy an electric toothbrush 2. Throw away all of your old
           | toothbrushes
        
         | aighaelitjlaiw wrote:
         | I had the exact opposite experience. I bought a Sonicare
         | Diamondwhatever and was incredibly disappointed. After two or
         | three months of using that I had visible stains on my teeth
         | that had never been there before. So now I'm back to manual
         | brushing and I've had no significant problems.
        
       | AussieWog93 wrote:
       | I spent the first 25+ years of my life[1] thinking that
       | philosophy, logic and reason were the most powerful and effective
       | tools for driving and guiding my life.
       | 
       | Nope!
       | 
       | [1] OK, maybe not my whole like but at least from 10-11 onwards.
        
       | prometheus76 wrote:
       | Chef knives are designed to be held by pinching the blade between
       | the forefinger and the thumb, and wrapping the rest of your
       | fingers around the handle. I used to wrap all my fingers around
       | the handle, until Jacques Pepin showed me how to do it properly:
       | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMA2SqaDgG8
        
         | softfalcon wrote:
         | This only applies to Western style knives.
         | 
         | I was taught to choke up on the blade by a Western chef as
         | well.
         | 
         | Then I went to Japan and was told to only hold the handle for
         | their style of knives. Apparently, they balance the weight of
         | the blade and handle differently there.
         | 
         | I tried to choke up on the blade at a very professional knife
         | store in a market and was immediately corrected by one of the
         | Japanese chefs there.
         | 
         | Then, the following evening, we went to a Michelin star rated
         | kaiseki, all of the chefs were holding the knives by only the
         | handle, no choking.
         | 
         | I realized I probably looked very foreign choking up on the
         | blade in that store earlier. Humbling moment!
        
         | secondcoming wrote:
         | Jacques 'scrape your fork in your non-stick pan' Pepin?
         | 
         | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s10etP1p2bU
        
         | linsomniac wrote:
         | Absolutely. And just work on your knife skills a little bit
         | every time you cook. "The claw" for slicing things makes it so
         | much faster and safer. And keep those tools sharp, a few months
         | ago I finally got a whetstone set and stopped using a diamond
         | steel to half-ass it, and it's a game changer.
        
         | throwanem wrote:
         | An ex with commercial kitchen experience taught me this. My own
         | experience is that, having held and used a knife the right way
         | even once, the wrong way _feels_ wrong forever after.
        
           | softfalcon wrote:
           | Tell that to my wife and in-laws. They've asked to be taught,
           | been shown how to do it, shown why it's safer and faster,
           | have timed their speed and found it to be faster.
           | 
           | They still refuse to do the proper technique. They cut
           | themselves regularly. Their stubbornness knows no bounds.
           | Even when it involves literal blood at least once a week.
        
             | solarmist wrote:
             | It isn't just about the grip. The stance also matters. I
             | had trouble using a knife well for a long time because I
             | would position myself parallel to the cutting board, which
             | meant I would bend my wrist when using a knife.
             | 
             | Once I realized my wrist should be straight when using a
             | knife and adjusted my stance to be slightly angled away
             | from the cutting board, my knife skills leveled up a ton.
        
         | rramadass wrote:
         | Dang! I just finished watching your half-hour video on how to
         | cut/dice vegetables :-)
         | 
         | There is something which grabs your attention and fills you
         | with admiration when you see a Master displaying his expertise
         | so effortlessly and easily.
         | 
         | I am now going to watch more of Mr. Jacques Pepin.
        
           | bgilroy26 wrote:
           | His chicken ballotine is a great video
        
         | germinalphrase wrote:
         | Chefs will hold different knives different ways dele ding on
         | what they're doing. That said, I also do a pinch grip for
         | chopping.
        
         | dfxm12 wrote:
         | The assistant in that video talks about holding the knife
         | around where the center of the weight of the knife is. This
         | spot is different knife to knife. So, knives with a heavier
         | handle are designed to be held by the handle.
        
           | giraffe_lady wrote:
           | The pinch grip is the correct default for all knives in the
           | classic "chef knife" shape and their derivatives like
           | santoku. The exceptions are based on the application, not the
           | knife; for example when cutting through a chicken leg joint
           | you might want to exchange some control for power and a lot
           | of cooks will use a full handle grip then.
           | 
           | The only cooking knives really meant to be held always by the
           | handle entirely are heavy butcher cleavers, that have all the
           | weight in the blade and you're meant to sling it around. Even
           | a paring knife is often best used by holding the blade.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | lisper wrote:
       | Not using a meat thermometer, especially when cooking fish, and
       | extra especially when cooking halibut, which is ridiculously
       | touchy and easy to overcook. Now I used a thermometer to get the
       | interior to exactly 120F and it comes out perfect every time.
        
       | linuxftw wrote:
       | I can't imagine dealers and manufacturers agreeing to fix these
       | vehicles on their dime. I can't imagine the charging station
       | owners offering to fix the vehicles on their dime.
       | 
       | I think the only option for these people will be to file an
       | insurance claim, let the insurance company sort out who's at
       | fault and try to pursue them.
        
       | tyincdyon wrote:
       | Using cannabis recreationally, regularly.
       | 
       | I've voted twice to (successfully) repeal prohibition laws in
       | states I've lived in, and would do it again.
       | 
       | Cannabis dependency is real however, and it's the "safe" drug
       | compared to, say, heroin; but I'd recommend taking breaks, or
       | consider stopping.
        
         | ugjka wrote:
         | How bad are Cannabis withdrawals compared to tobacco?
        
           | high_byte wrote:
           | it's psychological so it is different.
           | 
           | from my experience I could simply outright stop and be fine
           | with it. I might want later on, I might not, but it wasn't
           | physical dependency.
           | 
           | what I realized many years ago is that getting "high" is,
           | imho, actually overdosing. you should treat it like any other
           | drug. let's say you wouldn't want to overdose on ibuprofen
           | for example, or sleeping pills. you could but the outcome
           | reverses to negative. so the same is for cannabis, you want
           | to hit just the sweet spot. the problem is that every strain
           | is different, it is also heavily based on your situation
           | (e.g. same amount could have very different effects if you're
           | hungry/thirsty or even just in a different mood; same with
           | different strains) and these (more often than not) don't come
           | with a prescription and well defined dose.
           | 
           | you would be surprised how little it takes to "overdose"
           | (according to my definition, ie. get high) and how little you
           | actually need to gain the positive effects while avoiding
           | negative effects. for that I realized smoking socially helps
           | a ton, but you still need to be accountable for yourself.
           | 
           | personally I rarely smoke weed now since I very rarely get
           | net positive effects. when I do it performs miracles, but
           | more often than not it's neutral or net negative effect.
           | maybe it changes with age. a lot of people say they remember
           | it differently from when they were younger.
        
           | dangwhy wrote:
           | * life becomes less fun for a while
           | 
           | * lots of anxiety especially during bedtime
           | 
           | * nightmares are the worst first few days. Makes me shudder
           | just thinking about it.
        
           | Spinnaker_ wrote:
           | Cannabis withdrawals are worse initially, but easier over
           | time. With Cannabis, sleep and mood are really effected, but
           | it subsides pretty quickly.
           | 
           | I smoked both for a decade. Haven't craved weed in years, but
           | still crave tobacco pretty regularly.
        
           | tyincdyon wrote:
           | Depends on how heavily you're using.
           | 
           | If you're smoking all day and quit cold turkey, you'll be
           | cranky for a few days either way. The craving for nicotine
           | never feels _completely_ gone, unlike cannabis. (Neither were
           | as hard as alcohol.)
           | 
           | Quitting/pausing the use of cannabis has some immediate
           | _benefits_ compared to nicotine, more energy, fewer mood
           | swings, your dreams come back.
        
           | Taylor_OD wrote:
           | Nightmares were the worst part for me. Cannabis prevented me
           | from really dreaming for several years so every dream was
           | super vivid for the first few weeks after I stopped smoking.
           | 
           | That and learning to enjoy things sober again. Movies/tv
           | shows are harder to pay attention to when not high. The first
           | few weeks they were painfully boring.
        
       | hypertele-Xii wrote:
       | Breathing.
       | 
       | I was sucking my gut in on inhale, and expanding it on exhale.
       | Once I tried it the other way around, it locked and I've breathed
       | this new way ever since.
       | 
       | It's obvious to give your lungs more room, couldn't believe to
       | have been doing something so basic wrong.
        
         | Laaas wrote:
         | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diaphragmatic_breathing
        
         | thomastjeffery wrote:
         | The first part of learning to play a wind instrument (clarinet,
         | flute, trumpet, etc.) is learning how to breathe.
         | 
         | Muscles can only do two things: contract and relax. Lungs are
         | controlled by two muscle groups: the diaphragm and the chest.
         | 
         | The muscles in the front of the chest are the most obvious, and
         | the least important: they only squeeze the air out, which
         | doesn't really take active effort most of the time.
         | 
         | The diaphragm is what pulls air _in_ to the lungs. It does this
         | by pulling the lungs straight _down_ toward the stomach.
         | 
         | Practicing this intentionally, by pulling your diagram down and
         | holding it, is great exercise. Deeper slower breaths are more
         | effective at cycling oxygen and CO2 through the blood stream,
         | help you speak louder and longer, and can even significantly
         | reduce your stress level.
         | 
         | Breathing is something we do automatically well enough, but
         | breathing intentionally is incredibly useful.
        
       | mattpallissard wrote:
       | I used to be a smoker. I started at a very young age. For the
       | longest time I would carelessly flick cigarette butts.
       | 
       | One day it dawned on me that I was littering.
       | 
       | Odd thing was I never littered outside of that. In fact cleaning
       | up litter was part of my job at the time.
        
         | high_byte wrote:
         | good for you. if you gonna smoke at least don't litter :)
        
       | thyrox wrote:
       | Worrying and arguing about things in the future.
       | 
       | I wasted so much time and energy on this but as I get older I've
       | realised there is so little of what we can actually control vs
       | what we think we can do. Most of the time just saying Yes and
       | waiting for things to actually happen is so much easier. A lot of
       | time what you worry about never happens and if it does it isn't
       | always as bad as you make things out to be in your head. A lot of
       | times it turns out to be actually good and it would've been a
       | shame to avoid it.
       | 
       | Also when you say yes to people, a lot of time the other person
       | never actually follows through the thing you didn't want. Otoh if
       | you would argue or say No beforehand it always has the opposite
       | effect.
       | 
       | I guess for most people this is common sense but I did this wrong
       | for a large younger part of my life.
        
         | ThalesX wrote:
         | I argue for the future so much. I hope to be able to at one
         | point get rid of my anxiety about it. But:
         | 
         | > Also when you say yes to people, a lot of time the other
         | person never actually follows through the thing you didn't
         | want. Otoh if you would argue or say No beforehand it always
         | has the opposite effect.
         | 
         | I recently started doing this and it's amazing. I was the one
         | saying 'no' to so many 'offers' (as a full stack developer,
         | from idea people), and always ended up being the negative guy
         | that doesn't want to do things.
         | 
         | Recently I've started enthousiastically saying "Yeah, that
         | sounds great! In order to get started, I'd need
         | <whatever_thing_that_they_need_to_do> from you.". Up till now
         | no one has followed up. When we talk about it next, I am as
         | excited as in the beginning and mentioned the thing that they
         | need to do again, and they usually go like "Oh yeah! I need to
         | do that." and then I never hear about it again. It's a shocker
         | to me.
        
           | solarmist wrote:
           | Ok, this makes more sense. Like asking you to do something
           | that requires effort. Like group projects from HS. Or "wanna
           | start a startup with me?"
        
           | ianmcgowan wrote:
           | AKA, the "Wally Reflector", https://imgur.com/Db0c9eP
           | 
           | It's really easy for people to put stuff on your to-do list,
           | reflecting even a tiny task on them before you accept it
           | makes so many requests go away.
           | 
           | Related to this for me, I generally make it clear that
           | sending an email request does not mean a task is transferred
           | to me. We need to have a conversation and agree before it
           | goes on my list..
        
             | solarmist wrote:
             | Yes. You don't even need to be unreasonable.
             | 
             | Just a tiny clarification that requires 20 minutes of work
             | is plenty.
             | 
             | Yes to this too! Conscious business taught me all about the
             | difference between reasonable and unreasonable requests how
             | to make reasonable ones. There's more pieces than I
             | expected.
        
             | halkony wrote:
             | Scott Adams goes in more detail on this in his "How to
             | Fail" book. He says that after Dilbert, he got tons of
             | requests to meet with amateur comic artists. He said the
             | best filter was to ask them to prepare a list of questions
             | for their meeting and that filtered out 98% of the people
             | who contacted him.
             | 
             | He also noted that the people who actually did it would
             | follow through and one such person was the author of
             | "Pearls before Swine".
        
           | musingsole wrote:
           | People like dreaming more than they enjoy actualization.
           | Pulling dreams into reality is hard work and necessarily
           | heartbreaking as reality and dreams don't match.
        
         | cloogshicer wrote:
         | I feel this strongly, but it's very hard for me to stop
         | worrying anyways. Any specific tips?
        
           | sirmarksalot wrote:
           | People see something like this and say "wow, <basic human
           | emotion/instinct> isn't doing anything for me, how can I get
           | rid of it?" and it becomes a sort of self-gaslighting. You're
           | worrying about the future because it serves a function, or
           | has served a function in the past. Find out what it's doing
           | for you, and figure out something else you can do instead. Or
           | maybe come to the conclusion that it actually is helping you,
           | and accept that part of yourself.
           | 
           | Maybe you can acknowledge your worry, and rather than
           | ruminating on it and letting it eat at you, you can come up
           | with a plan to deal with the thing that's worrying you. Maybe
           | that plan is to wait until it specifically requires your
           | action, and give yourself permission to not worry about it
           | for now.
        
           | jameal wrote:
           | You might be interested in reading The Mindful Path through
           | Worry and Rumination by Dr. Sameet Kumar. I've read it
           | multiple times and worked through it with many of my friends.
           | A game changer for me. He makes a great case, backed up by
           | scientific evidence, for a regular mindfulness practice can
           | help with worry and rumination.
        
           | solarmist wrote:
           | A big part of relieving worry is accepting that no matter
           | what you do bad things do and will happen. It all comes down
           | to being comfortable with uncertainty.
           | 
           | There are many ways of doing this, but consciously
           | recognizing it and labeling is as such then allowing yourself
           | to be okay with the possibility of the bad thing happening.
           | 
           | If it is a big worry sometimes you need to make it as
           | specific as possible. Like getting fired. What exact steps
           | would happen? What would your boss say specifically? And is
           | that exact scenario likely to happen?
           | 
           | If you're still having trouble do the above, but at the end
           | change who its about, to a co-worker for example, then ask
           | again is this a likely scenario. And if it is then the
           | outcome won't be that bad. If it isn't then you also have
           | your answer.
           | 
           | Another is to describe the worry in detail to another person
           | because to describe it you need to make it specific and
           | linearize it. This is why talking it/rubber ducking out works
           | so well. They can also point out gaps and whatnot. Usually my
           | the time your done the worry is gone.
           | 
           | Many friends feel like they're not actually helping here, but
           | just listening is the help and it makes a big difference. On
           | the flip side you may feel like you're wasting the other
           | person's time because at the end there's nothing to do. His
           | is also false, most people are happy to help even if they
           | don't know what they did.
           | 
           | Anxiety/worry usually comes from unexamined fears which throw
           | every possible bad result into your head. But pinning down
           | specific stories you can eliminate many of them.
        
           | spoiler wrote:
           | I would recommend therapy. It's helped me loads. Meditation
           | can also help (but if you suspect you had a traumatic
           | childhood, discuss meditation first with your therapist).
           | 
           | The reason I suggest therapy is because it can be a number of
           | reasons for the underlying anxiety. I think it's mostly a
           | symptom of something else, rather than a standalone issue.
        
             | cloogshicer wrote:
             | Thanks for the suggestion!
        
             | solarmist wrote:
             | Therapy is great, but it can be very slow to get started
             | because there can be a long ramp up process.
             | 
             | There are many techniques that don't require a
             | counselor/therapist. I highly recommend the youtube channel
             | healthygamer_gg. There's a great community and many
             | suggestions for well understood steps you can take on your
             | own.
             | 
             | Also, realizing you're not he only one feeling this way can
             | help a TON!
        
               | halkony wrote:
               | I've participated in the group coaching program offered
               | by healthygamer.gg (I like what they do) and I'd like to
               | share my POV:
               | 
               | For people with deep seated emotional/behavioral
               | problems, I would strongly recommend against it. The
               | coaches in the program aren't trained to be therapists,
               | they're only there to facilitate discussions and prevent
               | subgrouping. The kind of work involved with trauma and
               | neglect is much better handled by a licensed therapist.
               | Can't speak to individual coaching, but I imagine it's
               | similar based on what I've asked about the coach's
               | training. The only upside to the group coaching is it's
               | cheap at $30 for a 90min session each week.
               | 
               | After fixing a lot of problems in my life, I joined the
               | program expecting to talk to other people that are 90% of
               | the way to getting their shit together but most of the
               | people in group had much deeper, unresolved dysfunctions
               | that __really__ brought me down. By all means, reach out
               | and seek companionship in hard times, but individual
               | therapy yields much stronger results.
        
               | solarmist wrote:
               | Yeah, I would say I was worried about that too. I haven't
               | participated, but that was my sense too. Group coaching
               | is valuable, but it needs to be the right group with
               | everyone working on the same things. So screening is
               | super important here.
               | 
               | That said his videos are excellent. He really knows his
               | stuff and can help people start down the path improvement
               | or to resolve simpler issues, but for deep seated issues
               | individual therapy, not coaching, is probably a better
               | choice.
               | 
               | Yeah, my impression is Dr. K is trying to get a lot of
               | mal-adjusted people to start down he road to being
               | emotionally healthy, but there's such a pent-up need for
               | this it's going to be a shitshow for a long time. So
               | there's going to be a lot of toxicity coming out in those
               | group session and if you're beyond the very beginning of
               | your journey avoid them.
        
         | hinkley wrote:
         | I used to worry about everything, now I mostly worry about
         | stuff that has actually blown up in the last and people still
         | prefer pain to preparedness.
         | 
         | I do see the Illusion of Control aspect in myself and others,
         | and it's weird being on the other side of that now and trying
         | to explain to people that what they want isn't what they need
         | and also that we can put as much effort in as we like or we can
         | just plan to do it twice and get on with it.
         | 
         | The latter is a problem magnified by management, who don't want
         | to pay for anything twice and will apply huge social pressure
         | in service of the sunk cost fallacy.
        
         | redblacktree wrote:
         | Here's a pithy little saying for you on the topic: "Worry is
         | interest paid in advance on a debt you may never owe."
        
           | thih9 wrote:
           | So, insurance?
           | 
           | What I want to say is that there is time and place for
           | worrying. And sure, worrying about everything is counter
           | productive.
        
             | solarmist wrote:
             | That's a clever way of thinking about it. I like that.
             | Sometimes insurance is invaluable and sometimes it is
             | worthless.
             | 
             | But when it's the default you get the American medical
             | system.
        
         | dakial1 wrote:
         | You should read about stoicism and the Dichotomy of control. I
         | was pretty much very rational on things that I worry about,
         | mainly asking myself "is this something I can do something
         | about?" If not, I wouldn't worry about it anymore. After some
         | years I learned how aligned I was to stoicism.
        
         | solarmist wrote:
         | You're comment threw me. I thought I was following, but
         | discussions on the future of technology/whatever don't come
         | with yes/no questions.
         | 
         | Can you give an example? Like "do you want to go ice skating
         | Saturday?" also doesn't seem to fit your comment.
        
       | bmn__ wrote:
       | * Just be kind to women
       | 
       | * If you like a girl, tell her she's pretty
       | 
       | * Buy a girl some flowers and watch her appreciate it
       | 
       | * Just make her laugh, women love a guy with a sense of humour
       | 
       | * Just let her know how you really feel if you like her
       | 
       | * Just hold the door open for her
       | 
       | * Just ask her out, the worst she can say is no
       | 
       | * Just find a girl that likes you for you
       | 
       | * Just listen to her and show her you care
       | 
       | * Just be a gentleman and pay her compliments
       | 
       | * Just be yourself!
       | 
       | * Just stop trying and the girl of your dreams will come into
       | your life when you least expect it.
        
         | the_only_law wrote:
         | > Just make her laugh, women love a guy with a sense of humour
         | 
         | Tbh Im done being funny. People take me significantly less
         | seriously and I just become a sort of "court jester" for
         | whoever I'm hanging out with.
        
       | deeteecee wrote:
       | not wrong/right but I was watching a video where monkeys were
       | eating bananas. And then I tried it and now I've stuck to it.
       | I've always had issues opening bananas so for me, that's the
       | right way.
        
       | swframe2 wrote:
       | So many haha ...
       | 
       | 1) Working for someone else instead of starting my own company.
       | 
       | 2) Trusting people to do right thing instead of accepting that
       | people are selfish.
       | 
       | 3) Giving up on interesting tech projects because my friends
       | didn't understand its value.
       | 
       | 4) Write a lot of code before testing it haha
       | 
       | 5) Avoiding tech bubbles instead of figuring out how to get in
       | and out quickly.
       | 
       | 6) Not keeping close contact with my tech friends (many of whom
       | are super successful now).
        
       | thenerdhead wrote:
       | Just about everything. Not a single thing I do is the right way.
       | It is a way.
        
       | drewm1980 wrote:
       | Consuming animal products.
        
       | adastra22 wrote:
       | I apparently hold chopsticks incorrectly. I am a white guy so
       | it's not like this is my culture--I just started holding them the
       | way I do as a kid in sushi restaurants and no one ever corrected
       | me. I found out when I married my wife, who is from Taiwan.
       | 
       | Here's the kicker though: I'm more dexterous with chopsticks than
       | even she is. I can pick and place a single grain of rice, or hold
       | the most slippery noodles with ease. So she just laughed about it
       | and told me to keep doing whatever the heck I do.
        
         | rjh29 wrote:
         | Even in countries like Japan it is not especially rare for
         | people to hold them that way. It's wrong but like you say, you
         | can be just as good as anyone else with a bit of practice.
        
         | scythe wrote:
         | Do you hold the moving one like a pencil and let the other one
         | rest on your ring finger? I had always done this and was
         | eventually told that you're really supposed to use only three
         | fingers. But after trying it that way for a while, I found it
         | limited my dexterity quite a bit, and went back to the pencil
         | method.
         | 
         | Surprisingly, I did it in China for a month-long work trip and
         | nobody batted an eye.
        
           | hangonhn wrote:
           | My family is ethnic Chinese and I grew up using chopsticks. I
           | hold it using the pencil hold and no one has ever corrected
           | me. It works well like 98% of the time. I may not be able to
           | delicately pick up a tiny grain of rice or an entire salt
           | shaker like my uncle who was demonstrating the proper hold
           | but honestly those are such edge cases. The pencil hold is
           | just way more natural and easier adoption may outweigh the
           | benefit of handling some edge cases.
        
           | tsukikage wrote:
           | Turns out different people were taught to hold pencils very
           | differently. I use two fingers to hold the moving one, which
           | is also how I was taught to hold a pencil, and let the the
           | other one rest on my middle finger. I've met people who use
           | four fingers to hold a pencil and find the instructions
           | incomprehensible.
        
           | adastra22 wrote:
           | Yup! So much easier than the "right" way of doing it.
        
       | dirtybirdnj wrote:
       | It doesn't matter if you do nice things for other people. Do it
       | because you enjoy helping others, not because you want a
       | response.
       | 
       | You are acting incredibly selfishly if you help people because
       | you feel it entitles you to a specific outcome.
       | 
       | I now see why people have called me childish. You have to let
       | people have their own agency and decide whether they want your
       | help or even like what your doing. You can't get upset if they
       | don't think it's as good as you do.
       | 
       | Find people who care and lean into those. Forget the rest. Don't
       | get emotionally attached to people who don't care about you. You
       | can never "nice" them into liking you. Fake friendships are
       | everywhere and you may seem "rude" by realizing this or pointing
       | it out... but you can both live better lives by not continuing
       | the charade.
        
       | gtf21 wrote:
       | Putting a teaspoon handle-down into a bottle of champagne when
       | putting it in the fridge in order to "retain the fizziness" which
       | I did unquestionably as something we just "did", until I had to
       | tell someone else to do it a few months ago and realised that
       | there was no reason this should work and, lo and behold, it makes
       | no difference whatsoever.
        
         | Pr0ject217 wrote:
         | This works for pop/soda. I'm not entirely sure why, but if you
         | pour a glass of coke/pepsi/whatever, and put a steel spoon or
         | fork in the glass, and put it in the fridge, it won't go flat
         | (nearly as quick).
        
         | tiagod wrote:
         | I imagine that could actually make it worse, as it would
         | provide more nucleation sites for the bubbles to form.
        
           | maverwa wrote:
           | I dont think the spoon handle is actually supposed to touch
           | the liquid. That would be hard to achive in a classic bottle
           | of champagne, even if its full, I guess. Teaspoon handles are
           | not that long.
        
       | themandalorian wrote:
       | I always overengineer and min/max things. Simple and some
       | progress is better than none.
       | 
       | No, grandma doesn't need a fibre connection with a NAS server
       | with plex, using usenet, when she just wants the basic gardening
       | channels :D
        
       | makach wrote:
       | It was when I was younger, I was independent and living alone
       | that I realized that I had the power to change myself. In order
       | to succeed there was only one person responsible for my happiness
       | and good fortune, myself. I had to stop waiting for good things
       | to happen, and make sure that I took faith in my own hands.
       | 
       | This has led me to change employment, often, but not that often.
       | It has made me approach many challenges from multiple angles.
       | 
       | Maybe it didn't made me rich (so far) but I feel much wiser and I
       | observe people on the other side, they are stuck in their beliefs
       | and loyalty. So many clever people, smarter than me, but lost to
       | ideas, opportunities and self- improvement.
        
         | RGamma wrote:
         | Ech.. the "everything's your fault" view is typically American,
         | but it's also pretty unbalanced. Sure you have to do things,
         | yet interdependence exists. Also there's plenty situations
         | where shit's stacked against you by heritage/law/social order
         | quite unnecessarily.
        
           | CadmiumYellow wrote:
           | It's not that "everything's your fault" though. It's that
           | improving your life is your own responsibility, regardless of
           | whose fault your circumstances are, because nobody else cares
           | as much about your life as you do. It's not a statement about
           | avoiding interdependence, it's about the fact that sitting
           | around waiting for circumstances to change or for someone
           | else to help you is not a practical way to improve your life
           | because most of the time nothing will happen. I think of this
           | is a variation on the serenity prayer, which is the single
           | best piece of advice in the English language in my opinion:
           | {insert higher power here} grant me the serenity to accept
           | the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things
           | I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. AA is full of
           | cliches because they're true.
        
         | beznet wrote:
         | I like to remind myself that the society that we live in is/was
         | created by people generally no smarter than you or I. People
         | accept things as if a higher power is imposing their will
         | against them to fit into these mental and physical constraints
         | but once you start questioning the status quo, it feels very
         | freeing.
        
         | high_byte wrote:
         | I had a similar experience. I was independent fairly young,
         | lack of experience is expected but without well-defined goals
         | and mentorship I didn't leverage it to the fully. tip for
         | others in similar situations: being independent doesn't mean
         | you go alone.
        
         | seneca wrote:
         | > In order to succeed there was only one person responsible for
         | my happiness and good fortune, myself. I had to stop waiting
         | for good things to happen, and make sure that I took faith in
         | my own hands.
         | 
         | This is the best response here. Too many people are stuck in a
         | self defeating mindset of expecting life to happen to them, and
         | blaming others when it doesn't, rather than taking charge for
         | themselves.
        
       | mmaunder wrote:
       | Not my whole life but stuff I've discovered:
       | 
       | Realizing that sitting for 8 to 12 hours per day coding is
       | catastrophic for my health.
       | 
       | Understanding the incredibly high and hidden cost of conflict and
       | anger. Films romanticize fighting the good fight. Avoiding a
       | fight (legal, arguments, etc) until you absolutely can't is worth
       | a lot.
       | 
       | Creativity and intellectual progress happen in a quiet relaxed
       | and happy environment.
       | 
       | Leadership starts with humility.
       | 
       | Big companies signal unassailable leads and competence but tend
       | to be wildly dysfunctional which makes them vulnerable.
       | 
       | Yoga fixes lifelong back pain that drugs, swimming obsessively,
       | chiropractors and workouts could not fix.
       | 
       | Confronting death isn't that scary, even for an atheist.
       | 
       | We don't deserve dogs.
       | 
       | Everyone is the main character in their story, including you.
       | 
       | You can be good at just about anything you love doing but can't
       | be good at many things.
       | 
       | You can't buy time but managing your time obsessively has its own
       | cost.
       | 
       | Early mornings are a very special time because no one else is up
       | and it is the quietest and most productive part of the day.
        
         | hyperjeff wrote:
         | > Early mornings are a very special time because no one else is
         | up and it is the quietest and most productive part of the day.
         | 
         | For the exact same reason, so also are very late nights (~1 to
         | 5am).
        
         | scotty79 wrote:
         | > Understanding the incredibly high and hidden cost of conflict
         | and anger. Films romanticize fighting the good fight. Avoiding
         | a fight (legal, arguments, etc) until you absolutely can't is
         | worth a lot.
         | 
         | That resonates strongly with me. It's better to just take the
         | loss because entering a conflict because of it will cost more,
         | even if you win, in almost all cases.
        
           | austinsharp wrote:
           | Another way it's been said:
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turning_the_other_cheek
        
             | scotty79 wrote:
             | Bad idea. It's better to turn your ass to your adversary
             | and move away from the conflict.
        
         | roughly wrote:
         | > We don't deserve dogs.
         | 
         | I used to look at dogs and think that if any other sentient
         | species came by, the things we'd done to an apex predator would
         | be sufficient to mark our species for quarantine at best, but I
         | was playing with a friend's dog the other day and it occurred
         | to me that we've aggressively selected for the happiest, most
         | loyal, friendliest critters we can find - that's what we want,
         | that's what we want to be around*. The world's complicated and
         | our actions in it don't always reflect us at our best, but
         | there's something redemptive about our choice in companions.
         | 
         | (*Yes, some dogs are bred to be dicks, and some people are
         | dicks, but most dogs are good dogs, and most people are, too.)
        
           | WA wrote:
           | There are too many dogs.
           | 
           | In some countries, dog owners don't give a shit and let their
           | dogs poop everywhere (France for example).
           | 
           | Many dog owners can't handle their dogs.
           | 
           | Dogs are scary for some people, especially children. Most dog
           | owners don't understand this and say "it's a good dog, he
           | doesn't do anything" instead of doing the only sane thing:
           | "you're scared? I take the dog away".
           | 
           | It only takes one dick owner with a dick dog to instill fear
           | in people (children) with significant and long-lasting
           | consequences for their lives.
           | 
           | So yeah, some dogs are cute and whatnot, but unless you have
           | a remote ranch or a huge property, and dogs can be dogs
           | there, we actually need less dogs.
        
             | HEmanZ wrote:
             | "Dogs are cute and whatnot"...
             | 
             | I suspect from your comment you have not had a good dog in
             | your life before. I'm sorry for you for that.
             | 
             | Dogs, when raised well and taken care of, have incredible
             | emotional intelligence and can communicate extremely well
             | with humans. This combination can make them real friends
             | and companions, not just cute animals. When people say,
             | "man's best friend" they really mean it.
        
               | NateEag wrote:
               | Or, perhaps, OP has had good dogs in his life and
               | recognizes the negative externalities many dog owners
               | push onto the rest of us.
               | 
               | I'm still annoyed at whoever let their dog crap in my
               | yard and didn't clean it up. I stepped in it while doing
               | yard work, didn't discover it until the next day, then
               | spent two hours and multiple runs through the washer
               | cleaning the darned shoes to a usable state.
               | 
               | Clean up after your dog.
        
               | ghostpepper wrote:
               | Let's not pretend people being jerks is a unique
               | phenomenon to dog owners
        
             | roughly wrote:
             | was this meant as a response to me or just a discourse on
             | dogs?
        
             | theandrewbailey wrote:
             | > In some countries, dog owners don't give a shit and let
             | their dogs poop everywhere (France for example).
             | 
             | I grew up in the American rust belt, and when taking family
             | walks around the neighborhood, my parents were eternally
             | yelling at me to not step in that broken glass, or that dog
             | poop.
        
         | renjimen wrote:
         | I've found that it's okay to sit for 8+ hours most days so long
         | as I'm getting out of my seat every hour and going for a short
         | walk or two every day. Yoga, even a 15 minute session once a
         | week, helps a lot, as you say. Using a vertical mouse, large
         | text and staring out the window frequently are the other
         | healthy habits I stick to while working.
        
         | lpapez wrote:
         | I haven't tried yoga yet because I luckily realized other items
         | before I needed yoga :) Agreed fully
        
       | ce4 wrote:
       | Binding your shoe laces wrong with an easily loosening granny
       | knot instead of a proper square knot.
       | 
       | Not answering strictly according to "you've done your whole
       | life", but I see this often when deliberately looking at other's
       | shoe laces. I just recently tried to correct someone's 40yr old
       | habit :)
       | 
       | https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Granny_knot
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | intrasight wrote:
         | I only do that on some shoes that just won't stay tied with a
         | "regular" knot.
        
         | tetraca wrote:
         | I've been using this one ever since a discovered it, like ten
         | years ago: https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/secureknot.htm
        
       | whoomp12342 wrote:
       | tabs, not spaces.
        
         | high_byte wrote:
         | you mean you were wrong to use tabs your whole life instead of
         | space? ;)
        
       | mhandley wrote:
       | Tying my shoelaces:
       | https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/grannyknot.htm
       | 
       | I was doing what Ian calls the "Un-balanced Shoelace Knot".
       | Reversing the starting knot makes all the difference.
        
         | intrasight wrote:
         | I tried switching when that first showed up on HN a couple
         | years ago. Tried it for a few days but the habit didn't stick.
         | I should try again.
        
       | cvhashim04 wrote:
       | What's with the proliferation of Ask HN post? Take this back to
       | Reddit.
        
       | SV_BubbleTime wrote:
       | It took me up until this year to learn I tie my shoes wrong.
       | 
       | The knot has to be balanced. I never knew.
        
       | geocrasher wrote:
       | Food is not a reward. Food is not for recreation. Food is not for
       | fun.
       | 
       | Food is fuel.
       | 
       | Food _should_ be delicious and enjoyable. Your enjoyment can come
       | from taste, not from quantity. Being hungry is a good sign, not a
       | problem. And  "Just full enough" is more than full enough.
       | 
       | I have a long way to go, but at 46 years old, this is all a
       | revelation to me.
        
       | thegabez wrote:
       | Using toilet paper...bidets are easier and more hygienic.
        
         | [deleted]
        
       | throwawaysalome wrote:
       | Monopoly. If the player elects not to buy the property he lands
       | on, it gets auctioned to the other players. This oft unfollowed
       | rule makes the game 100x more fun when followed.
        
         | LanceH wrote:
         | That and free parking doesn't pay anything. Number of
         | houses/hotels is also limited to the number that came with the
         | game.
         | 
         | Play by the rules and the game will actually come to an end.
        
           | [deleted]
        
         | bokchoi wrote:
         | NPR recently aired a story on the history of monopoly which was
         | fascinating!
         | 
         | https://www.npr.org/2023/01/25/1151367036/story-monopoly-ame...
        
           | interestica wrote:
           | And well the McMillions scandal is something:
           | https://www.vulture.com/2020/02/mcdonalds-monopoly-game-
           | frau...
        
         | SimonPStevens wrote:
         | On the subject of monopoly, it's also interesting that it's
         | roots are in a game created to teach the negative aspects of
         | monopolies. The original game that modern monopoly is based on
         | had two sets of rules, one that rewarded all players for wealth
         | creation, and a second with the goal of creating a monopoly to
         | crush opponents.
         | 
         | https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monopoly_(game)
        
           | thundergolfer wrote:
           | I think the is a nice specific case of the general problem
           | with mixing education and entertainment. Many have addressed
           | this, but I like Postman's ideas the most. If you give
           | children educational television programs, you're not teaching
           | them to love learning, you're teaching them to love
           | television.
           | 
           | The Lindy-effect blessed methods are still just pen, paper,
           | books, discussion, and debate.
        
         | peeters wrote:
         | Not following this rule is also almost singularly responsible
         | for Monopoly's reputation as an extremely long game.
        
         | xahrepap wrote:
         | And the person who originally chose to not buy it can bid on
         | it. Potentially buying it for less than list price!
        
       | ac50hz wrote:
       | My psychology friends are going to be busy for months (or years)
       | with the responses here...
        
       | marsven_422 wrote:
       | [dead]
        
       | rjmill wrote:
       | When my then-gf/now-wife and I first moved in together, I got
       | really mad at her because she kept "hiding" my stuff when I left
       | it out for more than a day. I couldn't find anything!
       | 
       | At some point, I yelled, "It's like you don't even want to see
       | any of my things when I'm not using them!" Then I stopped for a
       | second. For the first time in my life, it made sense.
       | 
       | The whole point of putting things away is to hide them! No one
       | wants to look at your crap when you're not using it.
        
         | dayvid wrote:
         | I literally bought a lockbox for this reason, because she would
         | things to a different place every time.
         | 
         | She freaked out when I told her, but it came with two keys and
         | I gave her one so she doesn't think I'm hiding anything from
         | her.
        
         | DontchaKnowit wrote:
         | This is so absolutely hilarious to me because this is 100%
         | something I'd do. I had a friend come over once and then he
         | came over again a week later and all of my kitchen cabinet
         | doors were open and in the exact same position as they had been
         | a week prior. He was like "dude did you not shut your cabinet
         | doors? Wtf"
         | 
         | Its just not even on my radar
        
           | paxys wrote:
           | Open cabinets are in vogue now. Keep the doors open and
           | you're weird. Remove them altogether and you're stylish.
        
           | kuhewa wrote:
           | An illuminating experience for me was a housemate and a
           | fairly sharp one at that who wondered if we would get visited
           | by ghosts at night because cabinet doors were always open in
           | the kitchen in the morning. It didn't occur to her that the
           | extremely more likely scenario was that I would scavenge
           | around after she went to sleep and never shut doors.
        
           | dwighttk wrote:
           | I hate cabinet doors... only time I think of them one just
           | almost punctured my skull
        
           | robofanatic wrote:
           | on a similar note. about a decade ago, I was sharing
           | apartment with a good friend. It was 2 bed/1.5 bath
           | apartment. He had a bad habit of leaving the shower-tub knob
           | on 'shower' after he's done. I was a late person so usually
           | ended up showering last. My bad habit was that I didn't pay
           | attention to the knob before starting the shower. For first
           | week every single day I got a blast of freezing water on my
           | face, until one day I confronted him! obviously that didn't
           | work. So one day I woke up early and did the same thing to
           | him. From that day our habits changed. I always check the
           | shower knob before turning it on.
        
             | johnmaguire wrote:
             | Huh - I never would've thought to turn the knob back to
             | tub. Why were you being blasted in the face by cold water?
             | Do you get in the shower before turning it on?
             | 
             | Perhaps this is a regional thing... living in Michigan I've
             | always let the water warm up first (perhaps drought is a
             | concern where you live?)
             | 
             | Also, most showers I've used automatically switch back to
             | tub mode once the water shuts off. Maybe he's used to that
             | style!
        
               | robofanatic wrote:
               | we had a manual switch at that time. I was new to the new
               | england area and I grew up in a tropical country :-) so
               | never had a habit to check before starting the shower.
        
               | CadmiumYellow wrote:
               | Ah so this is one of those things where neither of you
               | were really right or wrong. If you'd grown up in New
               | England you'd have known that the "right" behavior was to
               | turn the shower on and warm it up before you got in.
               | Having grown up there myself I have to say it would never
               | occur to me to turn a shower on while standing in it and
               | I'd assume nobody else would either because it's
               | guaranteed to be painful, even in summer and even when
               | it's just water coming out of the tub faucet onto your
               | feet. My family always left ours on shower mode and never
               | had an issue for this exact reason. Always so interesting
               | to learn about the little things people from other places
               | do differently!
        
               | robofanatic wrote:
               | I think back then I used to get in the shower, turn on
               | the tub faucet, and when it was warm enough, switch. to
               | be honest I still do that sometimes by mistake :-)
        
           | psychomugs wrote:
           | I had a roommate who did this every time they went to the
           | kitchen, like a cupboard- and cabinet-opening spectre.
        
             | ryanianian wrote:
             | I do this. Unless the organization system is super well-
             | mapped in my brain, I don't trust that I know where things
             | are. Opening all the cupboards makes me feel like I can
             | actually approach the problem of finding the toolkit I need
             | to perform a task. Hyper-organized kitchens have the
             | toolkits pre-assembled in bins placed in cupboards. That's
             | hard to do.
             | 
             | (Perhaps related: a `util` class is basically a junk drawer
             | in a kitchen. Some kitchens are basically just giant junk
             | drawers. Good luck finding anything, but hey putting things
             | away is super easy - just put it wherever it fits!)
        
               | musingsole wrote:
               | I used to take the cabinet doors off all my rentals --
               | less for me keeping track of what was where and more for
               | guests so they didn't need to ask where anything was.
        
               | dbalatero wrote:
               | Yeah, this feels like the best solution if you prefer
               | open cabinets for whatever reason. Leaving the doors on
               | and open is just laying booby traps for the next person
               | that wanders in.
        
               | nsxwolf wrote:
               | Don't you ever bash your head into the corner of an open
               | cabinet?
        
               | throwawaymaths wrote:
               | Sharpie + labels.
        
           | BurningFrog wrote:
           | The solution is to not have any doors.
        
           | linsomniac wrote:
           | Open cabinet doors drive me crazy because they look like a
           | concussion waiting to happen.
        
             | kalensh wrote:
             | This is a minor point of annoyance between me and my
             | husband, I think because of our height difference. He likes
             | to open ALL the cabinets when putting away dishes, and
             | sometimes leaves them open. I, with eye level much closer
             | to the bottom edge of the doors, walk in and see all these
             | corners waiting for me to run into them. When I put away
             | dishes, I open a cabinet, put away everything that belongs
             | there, close it and move along to the next one.
             | 
             | But I also think it's a difference in how we were raised,
             | because he does not push his chair in after leaving a table
             | either..........
        
             | rjmill wrote:
             | Can confirm. Have bonked my head on cabinets multiple
             | times. The danger is primarily in bending-over-then-
             | standing motions.
             | 
             | Life hack: if you keep all your bottom cabinets open, you
             | don't have to bend over to see what's inside :^)
        
               | yojo wrote:
               | At that point, why not just take the doors off?
               | 
               | Open shelving is a thing. No one said your cabinets need
               | to have doors.
        
               | jxramos wrote:
               | Yah, they do have utility though, they guard the contents
               | from a higher degree of exposure to dust and kitchen
               | exhaust grime and any splatter that should occur in the
               | space that goes in all directions. Easier to wipe a more
               | or less flat planar surface than the intricate surfaces
               | possibly pervious surfaces of the contents.
        
               | yojo wrote:
               | Oh, I agree. My cabinets have doors, and I keep them
               | closed. But if you're already leaving all your cabinets
               | open at all times, you might as well just get the doors
               | out of your way.
        
               | wintogreen74 wrote:
               | if you have pets you sure do!
        
               | Waterluvian wrote:
               | There is a spectrum everyone is on, where at one end is
               | emotional distress at cabinets being ajar, and the other
               | end is ignoring a smoke alarm chirping every 43 seconds
               | for six months. Somewhere on that spectrum is, "I don't
               | care for the doors but I don't want to be bothered to
               | remove them."
        
               | DontchaKnowit wrote:
               | This is so funny. That same friend of mine came over a
               | few months prior and was like "HOLY SHIT how do you live
               | with that noise its driving me crazy"
               | 
               | I'd been living here for like 5 months at that point and
               | had completely blocked out the noise of a dead fire alarm
               | in my basement.
        
               | switchbak wrote:
               | I think there's a metaphor for putting up with crappy
               | code in there somewhere.
        
               | Teever wrote:
               | that takes even more planning snd effort than just
               | closing them
        
               | phyzome wrote:
               | Then you have to dust more stuff!
        
               | klyrs wrote:
               | Worse than dust, kitchens are regularly filled with
               | clouds (however thin) of cooking oil. I had an apartment
               | once where the landlord was apparently too cheap for
               | cupboard doors or a proper exhaust fan, and infrequently-
               | used dishes got _nasty_.
        
               | phyzome wrote:
               | Ughh yeah, you'd end up with a gross semi-polymerized
               | sticky film on stuff.
        
               | pavon wrote:
               | We had some tall cabinet doors that we were particularly
               | prone to hitting our heads on, so we replaced them with
               | curtains. Did the same for some closets with sliding
               | doors when I got annoyed with only being able to access
               | half the closet at once. The curtains hide the clutter,
               | and IMO look nicer than the doors did.
        
           | rjmill wrote:
           | Exactly! You don't even see the mess.
           | 
           | It's funny you mention the cabinets. My wife and I can tell
           | whenever my siblings have been over: they're all incorrigible
           | cabinet goblins.
           | 
           | I still leave cabinets open, but it's typically because I'm
           | using it as a reminder to return whatever I had taken from
           | the cabinet. Of course, my Cabinet Sight still has a ways to
           | go, so the thing doesn't get returned until I actually notice
           | the open cabinet the next day.
        
           | j45 wrote:
           | I know it's not for everyone.. this is solvable by putting
           | your cabinets on a soft closing track installed at a slight
           | angle to help cabinets easily close on its own. Cabinet doors
           | also have some tweaks that can be done. I get it's a for a
           | habit but if anyone has a problem with remembering it's
           | sometimes easier to let the natural motion of the door build
           | some muscle memory.
           | 
           | My better half has very few things that catch my attention in
           | a less than positive way, one is not turning off the lights.
           | It's like a museum tour to learn what has been visited that
           | day.
           | 
           | They have had the lights turned off for them their whole life
           | despite being super independent otherwise. So I just used it
           | as an excuse to install some Caseta wifi light switches and
           | suddenly the lights were turned off before bed because it was
           | remembered but too much work to do once in bed. But because
           | the Apple Watch had an extension app it was easy enough to
           | do. It doesn't mean everything should be automated but it was
           | one that kept a small thing into a fun and easy going solve.
           | It made it easier to consider motorized blinds due.
        
           | tmm wrote:
           | The number of people on this thread who leave cabinets open
           | (and apparently come families of cabinet-door-openers) is
           | astounding to me. Do you all leave toilet seats up too? What
           | about the refrigerator? Car doors? Dresser drawers? Do you
           | not push your chair in when you get up from the table? Do you
           | at least return shopping carts?
           | 
           | I am not an organized person, I see a horizontal surface and
           | I put stuff on it. But leaving doors open? I don't think I
           | even take my hand off the cabinet door when I open it. One
           | hand for the door, one for the thing I'm getting.
           | 
           | The only door I leave open is the washing machine, so it can
           | dry out. It gets closed the next time I'm in the laundry room
           | though.
        
             | isleyaardvark wrote:
             | And do these people not dust?
        
               | [deleted]
        
             | mehphp wrote:
             | One of those is not like the others. I see no issue leaving
             | a toilet seat up.
             | 
             | It's just as easy for the next person to put it down as it
             | was for me to put it up.
        
               | tmm wrote:
               | It's not for the next person. It's to keep the stuff in
               | the toilet, in the toilet, rather than as an aerosolized
               | spray that gets spread about.[1][2]
               | 
               | I guess it doesn't really matter if your toilet is in its
               | own room, but at least most houses in the US have the
               | toilet next to the sink (where your toothbrush is).
               | 
               | Put the seat down before you flush, because it's more
               | sanitary.
               | 
               | [1] https://microbiologysociety.org/news/society-
               | news/does-putti...
               | 
               | [2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4692156/
        
               | mkl wrote:
               | You're talking about the lid, not the seat. Also, some of
               | that aerosolised spray stays airborne under the lid and
               | is released when you open it [1].
               | 
               | [1] I think Mary Roach talked about this in this
               | interview by Adam Savage, but don't remember exactly:
               | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfZ9RrxQ5NM
        
               | [deleted]
        
             | teepo wrote:
             | I cringe when watching actors on television make an
             | entrance but don't close the door.
        
             | frosted-flakes wrote:
             | Toilet seats don't belong in that list l.
        
         | clint wrote:
         | Everything having a home is good, but I like to still be able
         | to "see" things when they are put away. For example, throwing
         | things into a drawer where other things can obscure other
         | things is bad, because I will forget the things that are on the
         | bottom. I make sure all my socks are visible in my sock drawer
         | by using an organizer that allows my rolled up socks to be
         | stored vertically and I can't put other stuff on top of them.
         | 
         | Cabinets without doors, and shelves without doors are critical
         | too. I'm not sure why but if I do not have regular visible
         | sight of things, they may as well not exist and I will quickly
         | forget that they are there, leading to all kinds of chaos.
        
         | ChildOfChaos wrote:
         | Oh this is me, I very much want anything that I don't need to
         | see right now to be out of the way, which is why I hate the
         | modern world, even UI interfaces and constant notification etc,
         | everything that is not relevent right now, I want to hand for
         | the times when i do want it, but also out of the way when i am
         | doing something else.
        
         | ilyt wrote:
         | Well, it is "looks neat" vs "there is space that is free, why
         | not use it for stuff that you use often?"
         | 
         | Some people have mental disease that makes them annoyed where
         | the flat surfaces are covered with immediately useful and
         | easily accessible stuff and act up. "Oh look at those flat
         | surfaces that don't get used for anything useful 99% of the
         | time, how neat and tidy"
         | 
         | Some other kind of people have different disease of just leavin
         | shit lying around for months and never use it, where it should
         | be put back in storage (or bin) weeks ago already. "Don't touch
         | my stuff, if you move it I won't remember where it is!" (then
         | promptly forgets and wastes time searching thru clutter anyway.
         | 
         | Sane compromise is somewhere in the middle. Don't constantly
         | hide the favourite knife every fucking day, ain't nobody got
         | time for that shit. But probably clean it so the next time you
         | use it you won't waste time on that. Cutting board can stay
         | out, you use it every day, multiple times anyway.
        
         | GoToRO wrote:
         | One way this was said by one lady in a tv show was to not use
         | your home as storage. By home she meant hallways, on top of
         | furniture and so on. It makes your home look more like a
         | storage unit and less like a house.
         | 
         | It helped me to start putting things away in drawers and so on,
         | but also to think about how often I use them, or if I still
         | need them.
         | 
         | The tv show was about "proffesional organizers".
        
           | ilyt wrote:
           | > on top of furniture and so on
           | 
           | Pfff, fancy posh TV lady with her ACTUAL DEDICATED STORAGE
           | SPACE in SPACIOUS HOME.
        
           | scotty79 wrote:
           | Living is what you do between kitchen, bed, desk and bath and
           | front door. The rest is literally the storage unit.
        
             | yamtaddle wrote:
             | IIRC there were some studies on where people in the US
             | spend their waking hours at home and, at the time, for most
             | people, it was overwhelmingly the bathroom and the
             | kitchen/dining-area. The dining area especially was where
             | everyone did their bills and homework and such, and where
             | mail got left when it came in from the mailbox. I think a
             | bad misreading of those results was why builders wasted
             | kitchen space on built-in desks for a bunch of years,
             | before everyone realized how dumb that was and knocked it
             | off.
             | 
             | (this wasn't factoring in WFH, of course--I think most of
             | the important original work was done in like the 70s)
        
               | thatfrenchguy wrote:
               | << Life at Home in the 21st Century >> is a good read on
               | the subject
        
         | bradwood wrote:
         | I still have this now. She's always hiding my shit from me.
         | Deliberately to piss me off. /s
        
           | titzer wrote:
           | Every item should have an agreed-upon place where it goes.
           | Then if it is not out/can't find it, it's in its place. So if
           | you both agree on that, then putting things away is NBD, and
           | no one is hiding anything.
        
             | garrickvanburen wrote:
             | The phrase in my household, "put it where you expect it to
             | be"
        
               | brookst wrote:
               | This works great except when you don't agree on where you
               | expect it to be.
               | 
               | We have an ongoing battle about where whisks live: with
               | the blender and beaters, or with the cooking spoons and
               | ladle.
               | 
               | Our rule is "whoever empties the dishwasher gets to put
               | things where they think they belong".
        
               | roarcher wrote:
               | This presents a chicken-and-egg problem. I expect all my
               | shit to be randomly strewn about because that's where
               | I've always put it.
        
         | coreyhn wrote:
         | I'm a stickler for this as well, but at the same time it is
         | easy to have the status quo and get used to not putting things
         | away.
        
         | Waterluvian wrote:
         | My wife and I have a rule, "everything needs to have a home."
         | Because if it doesn't have a home, it becomes clutter, and
         | after enough clutter, it finds a home... usually a sub-optimal
         | one, like a junk drawer.
         | 
         | The kids (4 and 5) have adapted to this wonderfully. It really
         | helps them. It makes cleanup a trivial task because everything
         | is known to belong somewhere specific.
         | 
         | Related to this: the recognition that everything is harder in a
         | messy home. If you have stuff everywhere, you are paying a
         | small tax any time you want to find or do something. Even
         | cluttering your cupboards and drawers means you're tediously
         | sifting through too much stuff or constantly worried about
         | knocking something over while getting something else out. It's
         | been especially good to avoid the dance of removing items to
         | get the items underneath, then putting them back.
         | 
         | Finally: the lesson that when you keep stuff, you are paying a
         | "tax" on keeping it. Throw away stuff you don't think you'll
         | ever need again. It's cheaper to re-buy 1 or 2 things than to
         | keep 100 of them for years and years. That storage space could
         | be better used.
         | 
         | Bonus: If everything has a home, and you run out of homes, you
         | quickly recognize that you have too much stuff and it might be
         | time to make trade-offs. This puts an upper bound on the amount
         | of stuff in our home.
         | 
         | Note that this could all easily sound super hardcore but it's
         | not. It's just a general guide we have. We aren't forcing our
         | kids to throw excess toys away and we're not writing a book
         | about it. A flexible tool to guide behaviour, not enforce it.
        
           | gofreddygo wrote:
           | > ... you run out of homes, ... you have too much stuff ...
           | puts an upper bound on the amount of stuff in our home.
           | 
           | Conversation from last weekend -
           | 
           | "I want those brown shoes. They're so nice and fit like
           | they're made for me"
           | 
           | "You're shoes are overflowing your side, into mine and now
           | into the corridor. I think you have too many."
           | 
           | "I don't have any that are like boots. I want brown ones for
           | the city.I'll wear to my $event"
           | 
           | "You got yellow ones last month. They look like boots"
           | 
           | "They're for a hike. These are for the city. I don't like
           | being told about my shoes."
           | 
           | And then there were more shoes.
           | 
           | Same night -
           | 
           | "I need to donate my old clothes"
        
             | CoastalCoder wrote:
             | Some women care about shoes far, far more than makes sense
             | to their husbands / boyfriends.
             | 
             | My several attempts to understand this have been fruitless.
             | 
             | This might belong on the short list of things to work
             | around, rather than work through.
        
               | BurningFrog wrote:
               | I think it's one of these personality traits you accept,
               | even if you don't understand it.
        
               | Terretta wrote:
               | In women's wear, shoes are not foot wear. They're an
               | accessory.
               | 
               | It's nobody's fault shoes are bigger than earrings except
               | the architect/builder who didn't accommodate that in the
               | closet. :-)
        
               | erisinger wrote:
               | Huh. I wish I had encountered this way of thinking
               | sooner.
        
             | caeril wrote:
             | > "They're for a hike. These are for the city"
             | 
             | I'm a guy, and I do this, too. I have two identical pair of
             | boots. One pair is for "clean" things, such as going to the
             | store, the office, etc. The other pair is for "dirty"
             | things, such as yardwork, hiking, gardening, woodworking,
             | etc.
             | 
             | As my "clean" boots age and wear, I swap them out for a new
             | pair, and the previous "clean" boots become my new "dirty"
             | boots. It's a cycle I've been running for decades now.
             | 
             | The hike vs city distinction makes sense to me, regardless
             | of gender.
        
           | retrac wrote:
           | In my 20s I had a roommate and we kept having arguments with
           | use of space. I would interpret his leaving new purchases
           | just wherever as laziness or not caring. I'd hand it to him,
           | and tell him to put it away, and it'd be left somewhere else
           | randomly.
           | 
           | I eventually realised he bought things without thinking about
           | where to put them, when he got home with it. So it just sort
           | of would get abandoned wherever. There was no assigned "away"
           | for him, and I was assuming there was. Baffling, but at least
           | it wasn't passive-aggressive like I had thought. Some of my
           | habits eventually wore off on him, thankfully.
           | 
           | A related theme is: I don't have anywhere to put this even
           | after thinking about it -- then you probably have too much
           | stuff!
        
             | bandyaboot wrote:
             | > A related theme is: I don't have anywhere to put this
             | even after thinking about it -- then you probably have too
             | much stuff!
             | 
             | I seldom run into the problem of not having anywhere to put
             | something. On the other hand, I often run into the problem
             | of being unsure of how best to categorize something so that
             | I can decide where it should belong.
        
               | docmars wrote:
               | I too prefer to group related items together when I'm
               | organizing drawers or storage compartments of any kind,
               | and if an item has no similar items to live with, it ends
               | up orphaned on a counter or surface somewhere, ultimately
               | risking itself ending up in a junk drawer.
               | 
               | But if it's an extra pair of glasses or something
               | fragile, you don't want it getting tossed around other
               | things like metal tools or otherwise damaging things.
               | 
               | Other times, I leave things out of place in the open
               | deliberately to remind myself to do something. This could
               | be placing a bill or usually other paper items right at
               | the end of the dinner table to force myself to remember
               | taking care of it. Another example is leaving a cardboard
               | box near the front door to recycle it later. It's
               | intended to ugly up my space to bug me and take care of
               | it.
               | 
               | So, I often use my physical space as a natural to-do list
               | of sorts. Works well!
        
             | BurningFrog wrote:
             | Yeah, I hd never even heard of this idea until probably my
             | 30s.
             | 
             | And it took much longer until I realized it's actually not
             | silly.
             | 
             | Now I try to live this way, with limited but increasing
             | success.
        
             | elecush wrote:
             | >A related theme is: I don't have anywhere to put this even
             | after thinking about it -- then you probably have too much
             | stuff!
             | 
             | or not enough clear surfaces x)
        
             | peplee wrote:
             | Had the same situation. I'd forever be asking, "what's your
             | plan for this or that item that's just lying around clearly
             | not put away?" because that's how I approach it. There
             | wasn't a plan, it was all spontaneous, willy nilly. We made
             | it work, but I've found it's far less draining to simply
             | find a roommate, now it's a significant other, who operates
             | similarly to me.
        
             | shostack wrote:
             | I've run into this. It's tough because the answer I might
             | arrive at ("I don't have a place to store this, so I
             | shouldn't buy it") is often not well received by people you
             | live with as it comes across as you trying to dictate what
             | they can and cannot buy.
        
           | nonethewiser wrote:
           | I agree with this 100% but I struggle with finding homes for
           | everything. I feel like I need more furniture with drawers or
           | cupboards. It's creating the storage space that I struggle
           | with.
        
             | cstrahan wrote:
             | I have a TON of small components and tools, and maybe my
             | system could be helpful:
             | 
             | I keep several shelves full of stacking storage boxes in my
             | garage. I've given each of these a unique number, written
             | in permanent marker on the front face and lid of each. I
             | chuck things mostly randomly in whatever box has some
             | space, and then I track those newly added/removed items in
             | a spreadsheet (more specifically, I just use a text file
             | and treat the line numbers as the respective bin number --
             | primitive, but works better for my workflow than something
             | like Google Sheets).
             | 
             | I've found that trying to keep an immense inventory
             | "organized" is too daunting (what happens if I overflow one
             | bin -- do I dedicate an entire bin to the one or two items
             | that wouldn't fit, leaving this bin mostly empty? Ugh!),
             | and the only real utility with keeping things categorically
             | collocated is to retrieve/store items efficiently anyway --
             | by introducing a layer of indirection, I get the end result
             | I'm looking for with a fraction of the work.
        
             | xen2xen1 wrote:
             | My too, but the only thing that helped was making storage
             | spaces for a type of thing, and when the space designated
             | overflows, something has to be tossed.
        
             | kylehotchkiss wrote:
             | yeah, buying organizational furniture is helpful. Those
             | metal shelves from ikea are great, stack plastic containers
             | on them and it's not even too expensive to fill a closet
             | like this
        
             | Torwald wrote:
             | I want to recommend the boxes system called "Pretty useful
             | box" to you. For years now that stuff solved the problem
             | again and again.
             | 
             | https://reallyusefulproducts.co.uk/usa/
        
           | criddell wrote:
           | So you don't have a junk drawer? We have a junk drawer and it
           | is the home for packing tape, scissors, flashlight,
           | batteries, etc...
        
             | Waterluvian wrote:
             | Packing tape in the workshop. Scissors in the knife block.
             | Paper scissors in the craft cupboard. Other scissors in the
             | "office" (there's a fun battle between what are craft
             | supplies and what are office supplies). Batteries in the
             | battery/charger cupboard in my office (hugely popular for
             | all the kids toys). Flashlights are in the workshop (big
             | Ryobi ones), kids rooms (small toy flashlights that look
             | like ladybugs), and in the cars.
             | 
             | We DO have a "junk drawer" but it's really just a "assorted
             | kitchen stuff" drawer. You'll find birthday candles,
             | matches, elastics, twist ties, etc. but that's their home.
             | 
             | Super fun semantics talk because we love semantics: maybe
             | your junk drawer isn't a junk drawer? Maybe you know
             | exactly what's there and why. Homes are of all different
             | sizes and maybe that works perfectly because you don't need
             | things like a battery cupboard.
        
               | LeSaucy wrote:
               | Packing tape goes in the adhesives drawer in the
               | garage/shop.
        
               | Waterluvian wrote:
               | I hang them on a pegboard. My adhesives are woefully
               | inadequate to deserve a drawer... gosh I wish...
        
               | ZiiS wrote:
               | I have three adhesive draws and they certainly don't have
               | room for tape.
        
             | Taylor_OD wrote:
             | What? That is the utilities draw! The junk draw is for the
             | small white elephant statue recieved from a white elephant
             | years ago, the plate from an old car that was totaled, and
             | a stray n64 controller.
        
               | switchbak wrote:
               | The draw?
               | 
               | I can't help but hear that in a northeastern accent like
               | from the folks from This Old House :)
        
             | [deleted]
        
             | 1-more wrote:
             | I had several such drawers. My fiancee hipped me to the
             | label maker. Now a drawer that has some loose thematically
             | linked bunch of crap in it instead has _exactly this list
             | of things in it_ where that list is enumerated on the front
             | of the drawer. For instance I had put safety pins,
             | sharpies, a sewing kit, scissors and stain removal pens in
             | a Sterilite drawer together. These were loosely
             | thematically linked along the lines of  "have to do with
             | fabric." The drawer was maybe 1/3 full and I don't have a
             | ton of space for more drawers. I put my many spare AA, AAA,
             | CR2032 batteries in there because they'd really be wasting
             | space in a drawer on their own. Suddenly the loose thematic
             | link is severed! It's become a junk drawer!! But if you put
             | a label on the front with everything I've written in this
             | comment, it becomes the drawer that is home to exactly
             | these items. You can put another item not on the list in
             | it, you just need to add a label!
             | 
             | This blew my mind wide open. Absolutely game changing. The
             | space works for _us_ , not the other way around!!
        
           | pkulak wrote:
           | I just bought a used laptop on impulse last week, and it
           | still has no home. It's driving me nuts. It's sitting next to
           | me right now. And because it's pre-usb-c, the charger needs a
           | home too. I have about 30 large bins in the garage for things
           | without homes, and that may be its fate, unfortunately.
        
             | DaiPlusPlus wrote:
             | I don't know your use-case, but a laptop's "home" at home
             | would be your laptop bag - or - a docking-station on your
             | desk - use your desktop PC, on a desk, while at home; while
             | your laptop bag's hone would be on a coathook in your
             | mudroom or closet - or a designated (and maintained) spot
             | by the door.
        
             | syntheweave wrote:
             | Get a cafeteria tray and put the laptop on that. Homing
             | items is mostly about dividing and binding space, and the
             | tray acts to bundle any accessories or project parts, while
             | also dividing it from the room.
        
           | sublinear wrote:
           | > Note that this could all easily sound super hardcore but
           | it's not. It's just a general guide we have. We aren't
           | forcing our kids to throw excess toys away and we're not
           | writing a book about it. A flexible tool to guide behaviour,
           | not enforce it.
           | 
           | I was having a hard time thinking about what I'm doing wrong,
           | but I think this is close enough. I'm so inspired to steal
           | some variant of this disclaimer especially this part: "We
           | aren't forcing x to do y and we're not writing a book about
           | it."
        
           | SpeedilyDamage wrote:
           | Heh, reading this I can't help but think of how different the
           | perception of what your kids are feeling is vs what they're
           | actually feeling.
           | 
           | "This is great for the kids!" Maybe! Or, equally plausibly
           | it's annoying, but they don't tell you.
        
             | gala8y wrote:
             | Or worse:
             | 
             | Even if they really liked it and adopted it, then they
             | would not be able to cause chaos and destruction, to
             | embrace disorder, noise, unpredictability of things (both
             | physical and social/abstract). This would be to their
             | disadvantage.
             | 
             | Too much order, not allowing for chaos is _not_ good for
             | kids. Ways of chaos and destruction should be welcome.
             | Order should be welcome. Walking lightly between the two,
             | while maintaining contact _and_ giving kids freedom is not
             | an easy task, I think.
        
               | Waterluvian wrote:
               | The problem with online discussions is that people
               | project their own perceptions onto what it all looks
               | like. Their rooms are never clean. Having a home for
               | everything helps, but whatever you're picturing... it's
               | likely wrong. This house is a mess because it's lived in.
        
               | gala8y wrote:
               | I am not trying to picture your home in any negative way
               | or suggest anything to you in any way. I read your whole
               | comment, incl. last paragraph. What I was trying to say
               | was more of a general comment on how delicate (and
               | beneficial) is to have access to different kinds of
               | energies, allowing order and disorder, and how going too
               | much to either side can have long lasting, far reaching
               | consequences. That going too far, even playfully, in one
               | direction ("in this home _everything_ has its own place")
               | sets contexts far more reaching than one could imagine.
               | 
               | To add to this, I have a dedicated place for almost
               | anything, as I code things rather spatially than
               | visually, so I think it's great. I just think it is
               | important to leave lots of freedom for kids. It's like
               | difference between "I see you did not put all things away
               | today" vs. "How are you doing in 'everything needs to
               | have a home' department, today?"
               | 
               | All the best!
        
             | Waterluvian wrote:
             | Yesterday we asked 4yo if he wanted this rack of plastic
             | bins for toys in his room. He was so eager that he wanted
             | to carry it himself. Once up there, he began dismantling
             | his current system and excitedly placing toys into the new
             | bins while singing to himself.
             | 
             | The first thing that comes to mind is how to communicate
             | this without people thinking, "oh those poor kids, they've
             | been brainwashed into being neat freaks." I guess the
             | answer comes in: 5yo is not like this and that's fine.
             | Their rooms are usually a mess because they're kids. And
             | our house is usually a disaster because we have kids and
             | are tired. Just because everything has a home, doesn't mean
             | we're perfect about it... far from it. The kitchen would
             | usually horrify you.
             | 
             | The kids genuinely love it because when they ask to get out
             | the slime or do arts and crafts, and we say, "but first you
             | have to clean up your other toys," that's a task they are
             | 100% capable of doing themselves. It gives them agency.
        
               | SpeedilyDamage wrote:
               | > The kids genuinely love it because when they ask to get
               | out the slime or do arts and crafts, and we say, "but
               | first you have to clean up your other toys," that's a
               | task they are 100% capable of doing themselves. It gives
               | them agency.
               | 
               | Haha, your world is going to be rocked in two decades,
               | when your kid casually mentions something you thought
               | they "loved" but really thought was stupid. It's almost
               | like you've forgotten your own childhood!
        
               | Waterluvian wrote:
               | Parents are incapable of knowing what their kids like and
               | dislike? I'm feeling a sorrowful empathy for where this
               | line of reasoning might come from.
        
               | SpeedilyDamage wrote:
               | It's a well known problem[0][1] with accepting parental
               | assertions around their child's health. That's why kids
               | are often given time alone with their doctor, to express
               | feelings they wouldn't otherwise feel comfortable about.
               | Additionally, it's been shown that a parent is not great
               | at objectively evaluating their child's emotional state
               | or place in the world. [2]
               | 
               | It's even got an entry in TVTropes![3]
               | 
               | But why would you have a "sorrowful empathy" because I
               | have a passing knowledge about childhood and children?
               | You can't seriously think you're going to always know
               | what your children are thinking or that they're even
               | being entirely straightforward with you now, can you?
               | Surely they have their own lives by now even a little
               | bit, some space for their own that you're not involved in
               | and don't know about.
               | 
               | [0] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15473508/
               | 
               | [1] https://archive.nytimes.com/parenting.blogs.nytimes.c
               | om/2009...
               | 
               | [2] https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201407/pa
               | rents-j...
               | 
               | [3] https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DoesntKno
               | wTheirO...
        
               | PuppyTailWags wrote:
               | I disagree with this with some caveats. I find that
               | specific memory as a child (parents mistaking something
               | you hate as something you enjoyed) to actually reflect
               | the amount of open communication and mutual listening of
               | parent/child. My parents rarely listened to me, so I went
               | with learned helplessness, and my consent was mistaken as
               | enjoyment. But I know of other families where preferences
               | were listened to and became the bedrock of having a
               | trusting relationship with parental units.
        
             | lb1lf wrote:
             | -If my kids are anything to go by, no worries: If it annoys
             | them, they'll tell you. Repeatedly.
        
           | flycaliguy wrote:
           | We call this the OHIO system. Only Hold It Once. Don't set
           | things down in random spots, pick it up and it goes where it
           | belongs.
        
             | [deleted]
        
           | RagnarD wrote:
           | "everything needs to have a home."
           | 
           | This, absolutely.
        
           | JTbane wrote:
           | If I followed this rule I wouldn't own a thing, the perks of
           | living in a small room.
        
           | wintogreen74 wrote:
           | It's also going to vary greatly based on the individual. Some
           | people have homes that look like ocean going ships, with
           | nothing that's not permanently attached or stowed neatly
           | away. Others have shit everywhere. Both scenarios are fine if
           | you're comfortable with living that way.
        
             | cactusplant7374 wrote:
             | It's good to be somewhere in the middle because then no one
             | is angry when the process breaks down every so often. Now I
             | know someone is going to say that the process won't break
             | down because I AM IN CHARGE and monitoring the process. And
             | that's exactly why it's good to be in the middle. :)
        
           | amelius wrote:
           | > everything needs to have a home
           | 
           | Does it count if everything goes into one big box?
           | 
           | Or if I just declare the living room as the home for my
           | stuff?
        
             | karaterobot wrote:
             | At that point, you've successfully outsmarted yourself.
        
           | snarf21 wrote:
           | I think a lot of people would be a lot happier in life if
           | they got rid of half their crap. Then in 6 months get rid of
           | half of what is left. It is a hard battle but I keep trying
           | to get rid of more and more stuff and it is so nice to walk
           | into a storage shed that is more and more empty. Everything
           | remaining is needed and there is no hunting or looking for
           | things as everything is easily accessible.
        
             | alexose wrote:
             | I recently read an account from someone who manages a
             | chemistry(?) lab that's used by multiple teams of people.
             | He'd spent years trying to come up with the perfect storage
             | system, only to realize that the _only_ thing that
             | consistently works is to reduce inventory.
             | 
             | I've been applying that to my own life lately, and I think
             | he's right.
        
             | throwaway4aday wrote:
             | "To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of
             | junk." --Thomas Edison
             | 
             | I have a lot of stuff, probably too much. Some of it I
             | haven't touched in years but only a relatively small
             | portion of it would I consider getting rid of. I tend to go
             | through cycles of interests where I will work on some
             | category of thing for a few months and produce a few items
             | and then I'll exhaust my creativity in the matter and leave
             | it to lie fallow. Later on I'll pick up the pursuit again
             | and I happily have everything I need to hand. Nothing is
             | worse than being in the midst of making something and
             | realizing you haven't got the part you need, you're left
             | with a few options: to buy it, scavenge it, or make it; all
             | of which take time and effort away from the thing you are
             | working on.
             | 
             | The minimalist life may appeal to some, I can understand
             | the sentiment. I've spent holidays away from home in a
             | serenely empty cabin with nothing but nature and a book.
             | It's pleasant but it grows tiresome after a while and I
             | yearn to be back in the shed, tinkering and building.
        
               | jrumbut wrote:
               | I'm much the same, I've been down to having my whole life
               | fit in a backpack and currently am spread all over a
               | three bedroom house. Too much space and, strangely, too
               | much organization make me anxious long term.
               | 
               | I find my ad hoc organizational style is by far the most
               | effective for me. It's like a LIFO data structure. The
               | most frequently used items (phone, laptop, TV remote) are
               | in the easiest to reach places. My beach and fishing
               | stuff are near the door in the summer, the salt and
               | shovel make their way there in the winter.
               | 
               | I think people with the rotational-evolving quality tend
               | to organize things in time rather than space, which
               | doesn't look right to most people who think the other way
               | around.
        
               | ghaff wrote:
               | I have one friend whose house is basically probably a
               | candidate for one of the hoarders shows. Then my dad and
               | brother are both basically of the nothing out of place
               | school.
               | 
               | I tend to be the Goldilocks principle. I do get rid of
               | things that I know I'll never use--especially if they're
               | bulky. But I don't mind keeping things around that I may
               | get back into someday. Or want for the occasional thing.
               | And I can keep some magazines and piles of books lying
               | around, seasonal clothing piles, travel stuff grab boxes,
               | etc. laying around without them taking over. If people
               | were coming over, I might spend an hour tidying up but
               | it's a happy medium for me for the most part.
        
             | mikrotikker wrote:
             | You're coming at this the wrong way, the solution is build
             | more sheds.
        
         | jmcmaster wrote:
         | ADHD weaker object permanence means that lots of people need to
         | see their stuff to keep it in mind. "Hiding stuff" is
         | problematic (and so is clutter).
        
           | emsixteen wrote:
           | This is the issue for me.
        
           | cja wrote:
           | Hiding the belongings of someone with ADHD is disabling them.
           | Work with them, not against them.
        
           | CipherThrowaway wrote:
           | Non-ADHD weaker clutter tolerance means that lots of people
           | need to hide stuff to keep it from bothering them.
           | 
           | Clutter intolerance can have a profound impact on daily life
           | for sufferers. Many will engage in maladaptive coping
           | strategies such as ritualistic tidying and avoiding cluttered
           | rooms or spaces. Whether tolerance can be improved through
           | therapy is an area of active research. Unfortunately, clutter
           | intolerance is thought to be neurobiological.
        
             | papandada wrote:
             | This is hilarious -- though I have been shamed throughout
             | my life for clutter as though it were a moral defect.
        
             | cwillu wrote:
             | I had a couple friends barge into my suite and tidy
             | everything up because they were worried about me.
             | 
             | "There, doesn't that feel better?"
             | 
             | "Yes [I will say anything that will make you go away, and
             | then I will cower in the corner of a room that is no longer
             | my bedroom in a suite that is no longer my home]"
        
           | ilyt wrote:
           | The problem is that someone else does it. If I put a thing
           | away and find a spot for it I will remember. But if someone
           | else without my hierarchy for stuff does it it will
           | inevitably land in a place I will not even think to search in
           | the first place.
        
             | uoaei wrote:
             | Exactly. I'm already busy keeping the means and motivations
             | of my completing a task in working memory, adding more
             | cognitive load increases the chance that I get derailed and
             | have to gather myself again.
        
           | papandada wrote:
           | I have this, though it most often shows up as "to-do
           | impermanence" -- I have to keep tasks very visible or they
           | disappear. Come to think of it, I'm a bit like the guy in
           | Memento, I even need to remind myself of the whole history
           | and motivation for a task every time I come to it.
        
           | odiroot wrote:
           | No, it's the opposite. Things placed randomly and visibly
           | just add to the mental overhead. They easily distract.
        
         | dirtyid wrote:
         | That's why I steer away from open shelves, everything gets
         | chucked into their respective drawer to keep things tidy.
         | Getting partner be onboard with drawer organization probably
         | deadend if they're not into it, but most things need a
         | convenient place to hide.
         | 
         | Also I firmly believe really nice drawer hardware, like soft
         | close and good runners can encourage this behaviour by making
         | operation enjoyable. Grew up with very satisfyingly click put
         | to open drawers, in retrospect not as functional as direct
         | pulling, but man that click conditioned me to want to tidy.
        
         | actionablefiber wrote:
         | It is nice to put away things - keeps down the mental clutter
         | and keeps the area looking nice - but I have to say I
         | viscerally disagree with the practice of moving other people's
         | things without permission and without telling them the new
         | location. It is bad communication and absolutely guaranteed to
         | start a fight. Keeping each other up to date and setting common
         | expectations on where things should "live" is important.
        
         | euroderf wrote:
         | "Out of sight, out of mind."
         | 
         | Ideally I'd have ceiling-to-floor shelves EVERYWHERE.
         | 
         | GTD says your mind is not so much storing to-do's as for
         | processing them. Likewise, the contents of spaces. Memorizing
         | contents is unnecessary mind clutter.
        
         | j45 wrote:
         | This is true, and as a balance ..except when their and what
         | they like to look at (which might be nothing) is still out.
         | 
         | If you're in the bottom drawers, less closet space, back of the
         | fridge, at the bottom of the pile, the the more awkward storage
         | space, fewer drawers, appliances that like to be seen but not
         | used, or more of your stuff is in storage it might not entirely
         | be you.
         | 
         | At the same time it's valuable to learn to build shared storage
         | solutions jointly to let both (and little ones) put the items
         | most used, important or at hand is a critical skill to develop
         | together, early on.
         | 
         | Otherwise deferral or indifference can be quite tough when one
         | of you might have a change of heart.
         | 
         | There are many thinna that happen in life where you will
         | literally not remember to do.something (medication, etc) if
         | it's not sitting out on the counter.
        
         | jxramos wrote:
         | yah there's a saying surrounding that I believe, cluttered
         | space, cluttered mind. I think there's something to it, keeping
         | a bunch of stuff in sleep mode in some back corner mental stack
         | of your mind that gets subliminally refreshed each time you
         | visually glance over strewn clutter.
        
           | progman32 wrote:
           | For some, this is a feature. I need to keep my stuff out so
           | everything gets at least a couple brain cycles every day. I
           | work in a generalist shop though with many concurrent (and
           | very different) projects so it's not for everyone. Never
           | liked spreadsheets/ticketing systems for this. I keep
           | separate files for each project but need to physically see
           | the objects for it to work for my mind.
           | 
           | Part of the motivation is the minor discomfort of seeing so
           | many projects open and set aside. For me the solution is to
           | complete projects, not categorize and hide everything.
        
             | jxramos wrote:
             | definitely, there's something about using physical space as
             | long term mental storage in effect. It's best when the
             | zones are not mixed, projects out at the garage table vs
             | the dining room table. When the zones overlap that's when
             | trouble and collisions occur. The pandemic made me realize
             | why having a dedicated home office space is a prized thing.
        
         | satvikpendem wrote:
         | There is a book I read recently called _Goodbye, Things_. It 's
         | like a more interesting version of _The Life-Changing Magic of
         | Tidying Up_ , as it talks more about the feeling of being a
         | minimalist than TLCMTU does, which is more practical.
         | 
         | It talks about needing less space in general and being more
         | free, simply by having fewer things, since things beget things;
         | the more things you have, the more organizational containers
         | you need, in turn creating yet more things and yet more space
         | to store them in. Since then, I've tried to actively limit the
         | amount of things and space they take up, since I hate clutter,
         | but I hate organization as well.
        
           | sparks1970 wrote:
           | A good book which addresses the perception that "possessions
           | are a projection of my true self" but it lost me when the
           | author describes limiting himself to a single towel to both
           | dry himself out of the shower and to dry dishes...
        
             | satvikpendem wrote:
             | [dead]
        
         | dghughes wrote:
         | My theory of how cupboard doors were invented is people had
         | shelves but didn't want to see all their crap displayed in the
         | open. Hiding equals neatness.
         | 
         | What was that HN article recently of Las Vegas and windows on
         | buildings more of something causes distress and less is more
         | soothing to a point.
        
         | jongjong wrote:
         | I disagree. I like to have all my possessions in clear view;
         | that way, when I need them, I don't need to search for them.
        
         | scotty79 wrote:
         | I have no idea why some people have this urge to hide all
         | things.
         | 
         | When I hide things I just forget that I have half of them
         | almost immediately. Let alone remembering where I have them.
        
           | moffkalast wrote:
           | Well there are other benefits like dust and cat protection.
           | Having transparent cabinet doors and drawers would make sense
           | though.
        
           | gpderetta wrote:
           | There is "putting things back where they belong so you they
           | don't clutter and you know where they are next time you need
           | them" and "put things out of the way in a random place so
           | that they are effectively lost".
           | 
           | Then there is me looking for something for half an hour or
           | more then finally finding it exactly where it was supposed to
           | be.
        
             | Izkata wrote:
             | There is also "putting things in easy to reach locations so
             | they're always where you expect to find them", which looks
             | like clutter to other people.
        
           | dyingkneepad wrote:
           | Maybe that's just a sign you have a lot of stuff you don't
           | even need in the first place?
        
           | blahedo wrote:
           | YES
           | 
           | I can have things that get "put away" i.e. in a
           | container/cabinet/drawer/room IF that container will be
           | something that I open and access at least every other day.
           | Otherwise, things that get put away out of sight are GONE
           | until I accidentally stumble across them years later.
           | 
           | Limited exception: if there is a tool or device or something
           | that is so uniquely suited for a task that when presented
           | with a task where it would be useful I will immediately think
           | of the tool--and thus remember that I have it--I can safely
           | store it away, as long as the place I'll put it is the first
           | place that I'd look for it.
        
             | andrewnicolalde wrote:
             | What are some examples of things which you would forget
             | about?
        
           | sangnoir wrote:
           | You need to have a system; so it's not exactly "remembering"
           | where you put things, but deducing where an items ought to be
           | and going there to find it. It's similar to people who put
           | all files on the desktop vs organizing files into a hierarchy
           | of folders.
        
             | jimnotgym wrote:
             | A hierarchy of folders is great for hierarchical data like
             | 
             | Accounts>2020>July>july_20.xlsx
             | 
             | For other stuff is a nightmare because it often could be in
             | 2 places. Maybe you have a folder for <bosses_name> and one
             | for HR...now your boss asks you for that hr thing he asked
             | you to do 2 years ago, where is it?
             | 
             | I give my non-hierarchical files filenames with as much
             | meta data as possible, and stick them all in one folder.
             | Search does the rest.
             | 
             | I save my temporary files in my downloads folder. Now and
             | again I delete stuff from a year or so ago.
        
         | e40 wrote:
         | There are common areas and then there are zones where people
         | park stuff. I've tried to get my SO to put stuff I leave in
         | public areas in one of my zones, rather than putting it
         | somewhere I will never find it.
         | 
         | It's also a battle because of the clutter, 10% of it is mine,
         | and I never move their stuff.
         | 
         | The problem comes in when there's something that could
         | reasonably be trash (usually a box that I might need to return
         | something) gets tossed. :(
         | 
         | EDIT: change "private zones" to "public zones"
        
         | FujiApple wrote:
         | You know you're in a long term relationship when your better
         | half starts throwing away your stuff without asking.
        
           | rjh29 wrote:
           | It wouldn't be acceptable to me in any length of
           | relationship. Different strokes for different folks.
        
           | balfirevic wrote:
           | That's a good way to make me strongly reconsider being in
           | that relationship.
        
           | dougmwne wrote:
           | Oof, no please ask. 15 years in and manners still matter.
        
             | bckr wrote:
             | And it's also important to keep your stuff in separate
             | places so that there's no question about whose it is or
             | whether it should be tossed
        
           | throwaway744678 wrote:
           | Oh, man.
           | 
           | Our home has a two-stage "recycle bin" policy, though: some
           | of my stuff "gets moved" to a random box in the cellar; if I
           | don't ask for it for a few months, it gets "donated". You
           | know.
        
             | yojo wrote:
             | Haha. We do that with our kids' old toys - rarely comes
             | into play, but saves much heartache when it does.
             | 
             | There's a similar trick for papers covering your desk;
             | without looking, shove them all in a Manila folder, date,
             | and seal. If you haven't felt compelled to open it in three
             | months, throw it away without opening.
             | 
             | Admittedly the utility depends on how much you/your office
             | likes paper. Or if you go to an office.
        
               | InitialLastName wrote:
               | > without looking, shove them all in a Manila folder,
               | date, and seal. If you haven't felt compelled to open it
               | in three months, throw it away without opening.
               | 
               | This needs to be ~1 year, to make sure there's nothing
               | important for taxes in the pile.
        
               | yojo wrote:
               | This was specific to work-in-the-office desks, which I
               | never bring my personal papers to. But yes, don't try
               | this with your home office!
        
               | DavidPeiffer wrote:
               | > There's a similar trick for papers covering your desk;
               | without looking, shove them all in a Manila folder, date,
               | and seal. If you haven't felt compelled to open it in
               | three months, throw it away without opening.
               | 
               | My family moved into our house when I was 3. Around age 9
               | we were going to finish the basement and a stack of boxes
               | from the move came into discussion. When I proposed the
               | idea, it was not really considered by my parents.
               | 
               | I've proposed it again to my wife after a move or two,
               | and again she didn't take me up on it.
               | 
               | Maybe someday I'll get to give the method a shot.
        
             | ilyt wrote:
             | I thought about that
             | 
             | Just put random crap in a box with a date in it. You can
             | take it out if it is useful but you can't put new stuff in.
             | Once the date is up, toss/sell it.
             | 
             | Basically expiration date for stuff.
        
           | Geloto wrote:
           | What?
           | 
           | Never.
           | 
           | I never would do that and my wife never did this.
        
           | agilob wrote:
           | but I might need this cable in 10 years!! fast forward 5
           | years, I needed a VGA cable and it was nowhere to be found
        
             | OJFord wrote:
             | I have all my cables in (categorised) 5L Really Useful
             | Boxes. It's probably too many anyway, but I reasoned if 5L
             | isn't enough to contain them, then either the category is
             | too broad or I don't need the cable I'm trying to fit in.
        
               | ZiiS wrote:
               | _reconsiders_ the 7 21L Really useful Boxes of cables.
        
             | thrtythreeforty wrote:
             | I find it helps to think of this scenario as paying
             | Amazon/eBay $4 to store it for you for several years.
        
               | agilob wrote:
               | but then I would be giving Amazon money, when my drawer
               | can do it for free.
        
               | mmh0000 wrote:
               | Its not free though, is it?
               | 
               | You're spending mental power indexing all the things you
               | have. I assume you pay for your dwelling, dollars-per-
               | sqft is a thing to consider.
               | 
               | Doing the Amazon route (which is exactly what I do) means
               | I know I have every cables I could ever need within 24
               | hours. And I don't have to remember where I last put it,
               | and I don't have to deal with knotted cables, and I don't
               | have to wonder when a thing doesn't work, is it the
               | cable?
        
               | RealityVoid wrote:
               | > and I don't have to wonder when a thing doesn't work,
               | is it the cable?
               | 
               | I'd say Amazon is not necessarily a guarantee of that.
               | 
               | Instant access to useful items is valuable. Think of it
               | like... caching for tools. I like having items I need
               | within reach. I'd love a bag like Hermione's in Harry
               | Potter.
               | 
               | Waiting 24h is a lot if you're in flow and you want that
               | thing _now_ dammit!
        
               | RealityVoid wrote:
               | It's not really free of you can't find shit anywhere
               | because of the many cables in the drawer, you meet to
               | move it around if wou redecorate or move and you need
               | increased home space to store all the stuff.
               | 
               | I like having tools in my home, don't get me wrong, but
               | storage being free is an illusion. I still think the cost
               | to be worth it.
        
               | agilob wrote:
               | Ok I get it, but it's not a quantitative cost.
        
               | RealityVoid wrote:
               | I'd say it's not unquantifiable. The higher rent (or
               | mortgage) you need to pay, the time loss for organisation
               | and retrieval. It's small for one item, but it adds up
               | and it's a recurring not a one time cost that you _could_
               | attach a number to.
        
               | Sebb767 wrote:
               | Except it's 10$ and shipped in three days - unless you
               | pay 16$ and get it tomorrow, which is unfortunately not
               | when you need that monitor to work.
               | 
               | Even then, it's most likely even more expensive, because
               | if it's just an off-the-shelf HDMI cable, you'd probably
               | have one around. Look for the cheapest SCSI cable, if you
               | don't think so.
               | 
               | I don't want to say 'store everything', but just
               | backordering stuff is much more expensive in my
               | experience.
        
             | somehnguy wrote:
             | I'm also a cable hoarder - lots of electronic related
             | hobbies and you never know what you might need. My solution
             | was buying a big pack of velcro cable ties and clear
             | storage bins. One evening I sat down and cable wrapped
             | every single one, then sorted into bins by the type of
             | cable - power, audio/video, USB, networking, etc. Slap a
             | label onto the front of each bin.
             | 
             | The bins sit neatly on a shelf and I know exactly where to
             | find any type of cable I need. The cable wraps prevent them
             | from turning into giant tangled messes.
        
               | filoleg wrote:
               | This is going to sound really dumb, but how exactly do
               | you wrap your cables using velcro/zip ties? I tried the
               | intuitive "roll it in a 5-6in circle, then maybe fold,
               | squish, and then secure by a tie in the middle", but i am
               | not sure if there is a better way. That one feels
               | somewhat messy.
        
               | agilob wrote:
               | >velcro cable ties
               | 
               | Not zip ties.
               | 
               | I'm not the person you're asking.
        
               | frosted-flakes wrote:
               | I like the velcro cables ties that stay attached to the
               | cable, like [1]. Wrap the cable in a loop, then secure
               | the loop with the velcro. Larger cables get two ties on
               | opposing sides. Do not squish the cable because it will
               | get all kinked; just keep it in a loop, and stack all
               | your wrapped cables as a cylinder.
               | 
               | The diameter of the circle depends on the cable length
               | and thickness. 2m USB cable should be 10cm, 3m power cord
               | should be 20cm, and 10m Ethernet cable should be 30cm.
               | 
               | [1] https://www.walmart.ca/en/ip/8-x-1-2-Black-and-Gray-
               | Cable-Ti...
        
         | brailsafe wrote:
         | Shortly after moving in with my gf into a tiny space, I
         | realized that beyond, but including your realization, sometimes
         | they just like to move stuff around occasionally. I think my
         | father's lack of realizing and accepting this is what's led him
         | to ruin any living situation he's ever had, because he just
         | can't give up a little control and share autonomy over a
         | combined space.
         | 
         | I notice this in reverse as well, it's probably best when
         | moving in with someone to get a new place and set expectations
         | early.
        
         | seanmcdirmid wrote:
         | I'm trying to convince my wife that this is the way to go, but
         | she keeps yelling at me for hiding her stuff in the bathroom (I
         | even bought drawer organizers!). I've taken a break from doing
         | it, but it took me personally 40 years to figure it out, and
         | she is a gen younger, so we have time.
        
         | Enginerrrd wrote:
         | I had a similar epiphany. I realized that I would leave things
         | out in random piles as a reminder system. And more piles of
         | things that I knew I SHOULD deal with, but didn't know HOW to
         | deal with.
         | 
         | I realized also that this is a TERRIBLE reminder system. I
         | started putting everything in OneNote and my calendar via the
         | Getting Things Done Methodology, and I'm honestly upset that no
         | one ever taught me such a system a long time ago. I've been
         | told a million times to "use a planner", "write things down",
         | "use a calendar", "use a notebook" etc. etc., but no one ever
         | told me HOW to use those things. Getting Things Done is awesome
         | because it told me almost exactly how to use that stuff, and
         | the effect has been life-changing for me. My spaces have never
         | been cleaner, and I've never been more effective in my life.
        
         | peoplefromibiza wrote:
         | it sounds funny, but I gotta tell you, the opposite is never
         | true.
         | 
         | You can't hide their makeup that they are not using, the 10
         | bottles of shampoo with different colors and allegedly
         | different properties, the 7 bottles of hair conditioner etc etc
         | 
         | So everyday I wake up to something like this, but worse
         | 
         | https://i0.wp.com/blog.cliomakeup.com/wp-content/uploads/201...
         | 
         | Lucky us we have two bathrooms, so we can keep one tidy, right?
         | 
         | WRONG!
         | 
         | The second bathroom is for the exclusive use of our 2 cats.
         | 
         | Could I have a say about it?
         | 
         | Of course not.
         | 
         | Is it logical?
         | 
         | Absolutely not.
         | 
         | People don't want to see other people's crap, but are more than
         | happy to live surrounded by their own.
         | 
         | If there's a paradise, many people deserve it just for going
         | through all of this, every day.
        
         | scythe wrote:
         | >The whole point of putting things away is to hide them! No one
         | wants to look at your crap when you're not using it.
         | 
         | Well, there is another reason. When your room has a consistent
         | default state, it's easier to look around the room and notice
         | anything that is unusual. It makes the room into a sort of
         | sensor. When it is always changing states -- things here one
         | day, there another -- any changes can be missed.
         | Subconsciously, we usually feel calmer when we know what's
         | going on around us, which is facilitated by an orderly
         | living/working environment.
        
         | BrandoElFollito wrote:
         | > The whole point of putting things away is to hide them!
         | 
         | I think that it is rather to have them all in one place, and
         | that they do not take the place of other things or are in your
         | way.
         | 
         | The fact that they are hidden is because they are behind a
         | door, probably to avoid that catching dust.
        
         | teucris wrote:
         | I will caveat this with something I learned from "How to Keep
         | House While Drowning" - an incredible book for overwhelmed
         | parents, neurodivergent people, and those going through
         | depression:
         | 
         | Make your home work for you, don't work for your home.
         | 
         | If that means the best way for you to live your life is to
         | leave things out so you can find them more easily, then do
         | that. Chances are though that having a "home" for everything
         | (mentioned in other comments) is going to work better for you.
         | It's a process of learning and iteration.
        
         | k1t wrote:
         | "We own things, but have hidden them."
         | 
         | https://nathanwpyle.threadless.com/designs/we-own-things/hom...
        
         | nerdponx wrote:
         | Think of it as hiding it from household dust.
        
           | kzrdude wrote:
           | Yes, anything that's out gets grimy and dusty eventually.
        
             | yamtaddle wrote:
             | Oof. Flashbacks to living 75ish meters off a gravel road as
             | a kid.
        
               | nerdponx wrote:
               | Or in New York City, where the combination of vehicle
               | exhaust particulates, poor airflow in many apartments,
               | and old masonry dust causes every surface to look like a
               | haunted house within a month if you aren't on top of
               | things.
        
             | worthless-trash wrote:
             | And if you're in the tropics, everything in gets grimy and
             | moldy quickly!
        
         | derbOac wrote:
         | For me at least the bigger point of putting things away is
         | actually to find them quicker later.
        
         | everyone wrote:
         | I totally disagree. If you use something fairly regularly then
         | leave it out in the spot where it is used all the time.. What
         | harm does something merely being visible do? .. Hiding it away
         | does harm as 1. You will waste time putting it away and
         | retrieving it every time you use it 2. there's the extra mental
         | load of remembering where it goes 3. you may forget where it
         | is.
         | 
         | This reminds me of the difference between 'tidy' and
         | 'organised' .. They are independent properties and an area may
         | be very tidy while being very disorganized and vice versa.. Eg.
         | typical thing where if there is a pile of random crap on a
         | table someone will dump it all into a drawer. The area is now
         | more 'tidy' but also more disorganized.
         | 
         | Tidiness is superficial, whereas being organized has practical
         | benefits.
        
         | locallost wrote:
         | I don't think it's about not wanting to look at things - my
         | wife once moved something from me from the bathroom above the
         | sink to a shelf, and I got pissed I couldn't find it. She said
         | it was too much stuff there. I then went there and counted 17
         | things that belonged to her, and 2 that belonged to me, 1 of
         | which was apparently too much.
         | 
         | In my experience women do this a lot. I don't know if it's some
         | kind of an evolutionary thing. On the one hand that it was
         | something women traditionally did and can't let go, on the
         | other that it is/was a way to make themselves more important.
         | You become very important when somebody needs you all the time
         | to tell them where things are.
        
           | JohnAaronNelson wrote:
           | Maybe your anecdotes don't define the evolutionary history of
           | women?
        
             | locallost wrote:
             | Maybe, I really don't know.
        
           | timeon wrote:
           | I have this experience too. But I think it is more general:
           | people are more critical of others then themselves.
        
         | cynicalsecurity wrote:
         | Also, never shout at your wife.
        
           | rjmill wrote:
           | 100% agree. If it makes you feel better, I didn't actually
           | yell or raise my voice.
           | 
           | I chose the word "yelled" because it was the simplest way to
           | imply the frustration/betrayal/hurt I was feeling at the
           | time. In retrospect, I could have said, "cried out," and
           | captured the emotion/action more accurately without
           | sacrificing brevity. But that phrase didn't occur to me at
           | the time.
           | 
           | Words are hard.
        
         | tootie wrote:
         | I used to complain to my mom that I left stuff on the floor on
         | purpose because I could find it faster. 30 years later my
         | daughter said the same thing to me and I just nodded and shut
         | her door.
        
           | gpderetta wrote:
           | I mean, that's obviously LRU caching.
        
         | asah wrote:
         | Our place has a ton of different storage locations... we solved
         | it with a spreadsheet.
        
           | balderdash wrote:
           | This seems like the solution is worse than the problem!
        
           | moffkalast wrote:
           | When you need a WMS for your place it may be an indicator
           | that you have too much stuff.
        
             | ilyt wrote:
             | Or just hobby with many required SKUs. I dabble in
             | electronics and that is in hundreds different parts.
        
               | moffkalast wrote:
               | Can relate, I also dabble but a few of these[1] sort of
               | organizer sets plus handful of full sized drawers are
               | enough to hold just about everything I've got. With
               | labelled drawers and sets split by semantic type I'm not
               | sure there's anything I could need a spreadsheet for.
               | Unless you've got a truly absurd amount of parts there
               | heh.
               | 
               | [1] https://images.thdstatic.com/productImages/a34bd723-d
               | 555-429...
        
         | watwut wrote:
         | Tho, I do not mind seeing partners stuff and like to have mine
         | own in sight. It makes me more active - seeing that stuff make
         | me want to interact with it. When I put books and crafting
         | things somewhere I do not see, that project effectively died.
        
           | rjh29 wrote:
           | Absolutely, that's basic human psychology. If you want to
           | practice guitar, put the guitar on a stand near your
           | desk/couch where you can see it. Hiding it away just for the
           | sake of 'tidiness' defeats the point.
        
       | machiaweliczny wrote:
       | Swallowing ;) I learned from ortodontist that the reason I don't
       | have nice teeth arch and the reason that I have trouble with
       | pills is because of ,,infantile swallowing", basically pressing
       | tongue to lower teeth and not lower palate. Learning this solved
       | so many of my problems. This lowers efficiency of breathing and
       | make you snore and might be related to sleep apnea and this makes
       | you tired and depressed so please check your kids.
        
       | jethkl wrote:
       | I thought colorblindness tests were designed to be tricky and
       | subtle, so I always passed them through very close inspection.
       | I'm just colorblind.
        
         | impalallama wrote:
         | oh no
        
         | maushu wrote:
         | You should try a reverse colorblindness test like this:
         | https://www.colorlitelens.com/color-blindness-test/secret-of...
        
           | Moissanite wrote:
           | That is one of the worst designed things I have ever seen.
           | The instructions barely made sense at all for the first test,
           | and for subsequent ones where you can enter 2 responses there
           | is absolutely no indication what should be going on.
        
             | ericpauley wrote:
             | Wow, I was expecting this to be hyperbole but you're right.
             | No clue what you're actually supposed to do on this site.
        
               | bena wrote:
               | Yeah, I'm not sure what I did. But I went from question
               | 1, to question 2, to question 2, then I saw a button
               | saying "FINISH", so I clicked it and I got 12 answers
               | wrong.
        
             | lynndotpy wrote:
             | They're a site that sells goggles for the colorblind, so
             | either way I wouldn't trust their colorblind diagnoses.
        
           | stuckkeys wrote:
           | I just took a test. I cannot see shit in color. Haha. Fuk! Do
           | those glasses actually help reverse this? I can clearly see
           | RGB. But some hues look the same. Are people born color blind
           | or is this wear and tear kind of situation?
        
             | zenexer wrote:
             | Ignore this test. It doesn't work on a computer. You need
             | to take in in-person using specially-printed images.
        
               | OJFord wrote:
               | Maybe they don't work to rule it out, but I _am_
               | colourblind (as diagnosed in-person with specially-
               | printed images by a professional optician) and when
               | people have pointed me at these images on computers (only
               | slightly less annoying than  'can you see this?', 'what
               | colour is my shirt?') they've always 'worked' as
               | expected.
        
           | zenexer wrote:
           | I've been in a lot of ophthalmologist's offices for a variety
           | of issues, and even had surgery as a child to correct one of
           | them. The one issue I do not have is color blindness--and
           | I've been given a lot of these tests.
           | 
           | This website doesn't work on my iPhone's screen. It's
           | impossible to discern most of the numbers, and the UI doesn't
           | instill confidence. Are they just using this garbage to hock
           | their glasses to people who don't need them?
           | 
           | This website is thoroughly broken, and nobody should even use
           | it as a suggestion that they are or aren't colorblind.
        
             | poulpy123 wrote:
             | I think the numbers are visibles only if you have color
             | blindness
        
               | econonut wrote:
               | That's right. maushu even said it's a reverse color
               | blindness test. If you can't see any of the numbers, then
               | you likely do not experience red-green color blindness.
        
               | pwinnski wrote:
               | It's a completely broken test. The "correct" answers at
               | the end indicate two-digits numbers for "plates" when
               | only a single-digit answer was possible.
               | 
               | I, without color-blindness, can't make out any numbers. A
               | coworker who is red/green colorblind also could not make
               | out any numbers. Then the results, as I said, show that
               | the whole process was broken from the start.
        
         | jansan wrote:
         | I actually laughed at this one, you are a real hacker.
        
         | nbaugh1 wrote:
         | Had a friend who was absolutely convinced we were all pranking
         | him when doing a colorblindness test. We were all doing the
         | test because about 15 minutes prior, someone had asked him to
         | grab a pink object off of a shelf and he came back with a green
         | one in total seriousness
        
           | antognini wrote:
           | My mom had me tested in kindergarten when we were learning
           | the colors and I couldn't get pink right. I kept confusing it
           | with white.
        
             | bobmaxup wrote:
             | My kindergarten teacher basically beat me with their voice
             | for not being able to get my colors correct. Two years
             | later during art class, I was sent to the school nurse to
             | find out I was colorblind. However, they never told anyone,
             | not even my parents.
             | 
             | It really should be a part of general screening upon
             | admittance to primary school. Then again, this was 30 years
             | ago, so maybe it is now.
        
               | canucker2016 wrote:
               | In grade 6, an adult came in to class to do a colourblind
               | test on everyone.
               | 
               | Projection screen was lowered, lights turned off, and a
               | series of multi-coloured dots on many slides were
               | displayed one after another on the screen.
               | 
               | In the dots, there were numbers / letters in colours
               | different from the general background colour of the
               | slide.
               | 
               | Adult: "Can everyone see the number?"
               | 
               | Almost everyone: "YESSSSSS."
               | 
               | One boy: "Ummm - there's no number on the screen!"
               | 
               | Pregnant pause.
               | 
               | One boy: "Oh yeah. Now I see it."
               | 
               | Almost everyone turns their head to look at that one boy.
               | 
               | Test continues.
               | 
               | Afterwards, the one boy was selected for further
               | consultation...
        
         | solarmist wrote:
         | Lol, yeah, sometimes an analytical mind works against you by
         | taking things too seriously.
         | 
         | This is when it would've been good to ask someone about it.
        
         | abetusk wrote:
         | Have you tried using those colorblind glasses? Maybe something
         | like Enchroma [0] or dichroic filters?
         | 
         | [0] https://enchroma.com/
        
           | bragr wrote:
           | I can't speak for OP's colorblindness, but for me those do
           | basically nothing.
        
             | tstrimple wrote:
             | I bought some for my son for his birthday. His response was
             | "meh" so I returned them and he got some cash.
        
             | solarmist wrote:
             | Yeah, they only help a specific subset of color blindness.
             | But for the ones they do help it's significant.
        
           | vegardx wrote:
           | This company has so shady marketing. They don't work as
           | advertised.
           | 
           | The way they hire actors to play out wholesome videos and
           | upload them to YouTube as if it's organic content, with
           | massive fake users to comment and push up false claims and
           | down vote brigade all negative comments should tell you all
           | you need about this shady company.
        
           | rbt5009 wrote:
           | I'm highly red/green colorblind. I got a pair of these as a
           | gift and they allow me to differentiate between reds/greens
           | much more clearly and to see red where I wouldn't notice
           | without them. I know for some people they don't do much, but
           | it makes hikes and such much more colorful for me!
        
             | solarmist wrote:
             | Ooo! Good tip. Hiking with them.
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | rbt5009 wrote:
         | I'm also colorblind and this cracked me up. I sent your comment
         | to my friends who don't believe I can't see the numbers in
         | those tests.
        
       | gregors wrote:
       | It's been awhile, but learning to set my side mirrors correctly
       | on my car. Once set correctly my blind spot isn't 0%, but it was
       | dramatically reduced by 95% or so. That's also when I learned
       | only the passenger side mirror is convex (in the States) the
       | driver side isn't.
       | 
       | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIkodlp8HMM
        
         | causi wrote:
         | Adding little round stick-on mirrors can vastly improve your
         | situational awareness.
        
       | webdoodle wrote:
       | I should have become a goat farmer...
        
         | the_only_law wrote:
         | I should have done _something_ else at this point anything.
        
       | silverwasthere wrote:
       | You-buntu vs oo-buntu,
       | 
       | Something coworkers from years ago still like to give me grief
       | about.
        
         | alexb_ wrote:
         | I've heard the third option of "oo-BOO-ntu" many times.
        
           | layer8 wrote:
           | Actually, all three vowels are "oo" sounds.
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | mtlynch wrote:
         | Wait, which one is right?
        
           | mgomez wrote:
           | The one without the "y":
           | 
           | > Ubuntu is an ancient African word meaning 'humanity to
           | others'. It can also be interpreted as 'I am what I am
           | because of who we all are'. The Ubuntu operating system
           | brings the spirit of Ubuntu to the world of computing. And
           | one last extra question for the road...
           | 
           | > How do you pronounce Ubuntu? Many people don't get it right
           | the first time, but it's pronounced: oo'boontoo.
           | 
           | > There's no 'y' at the beginning!
           | 
           | https://ubuntu.com/blog/top-10-questions-about-ubuntu
        
             | mtlynch wrote:
             | Thanks!
        
             | ngumuntu wrote:
             | [dead]
        
           | leephillips wrote:
           | "Debian".
        
           | altdataseller wrote:
           | Jinx
        
             | mtlynch wrote:
             | Wait, which one of us is the real me?
        
         | altdataseller wrote:
         | Wait, which one is correct?
        
       | ROTMetro wrote:
       | Telling myself that I have no worth. Thinking that lead me to
       | believe the only way to demonstrate my worth is to be superman at
       | work. Being superman allowed me to demonstrate my value each day
       | (corresponds to the 'but what have you done for me lately'
       | mindset of American tech culture), allowed me to get validation
       | that I was not worthless. That drive helped me professionally,
       | which helped me demonstrate my worth as a provider, because
       | obviously without the nice house, new cars, etc my wife would
       | leave me (even though she didn't ask for these things). Being
       | superman burned me out and took up all my time. Which lead to
       | worse relationships with my wife/kids, which re-enforced I had no
       | value/worth. We tried an external solution of moving to the
       | countryside. But ultimately my thinking broke me completely. My
       | court ordered rehab counselor trips out on it. He's like dude,
       | you are a person, you lived better than I ever will, you helped
       | tens of thousands of people in a demonstrable way (software I
       | wrote and was the name on patents for had some life changing
       | impacts), all of the women in this office comment on how it's
       | crazy you are attractive and have no partner, talking to you you
       | are well educated, present yourself well and people like you. In
       | group you are the natural leader. Dude none of your thinking
       | makes any sense. I hear him say it, but inside I know. I put on a
       | good show, I can convince people I am a person, but I know the
       | truth. I have no value. Everyone in group will see through and
       | realize it eventually. I don't know how to change this or get
       | past it.
       | 
       | But I want to. I want friends. But I can't accept friends,
       | because they will find out I have no worth, so I only have
       | acquaintances. Honestly, I want my best friend back, my ex, but
       | that is way gone.
       | 
       | Being superman != a way to measure your worth. Work != the value
       | of you. You != nothing.
       | 
       | Be kind to yourself, show yourself love. You have value. I know
       | that you do. If only I knew that I do too.
        
         | bmn__ wrote:
         | My good man, a therapist is certain to help you overcome this
         | false and harmful belief that continues to destroy your life.
         | Start tomorrow.
        
           | ROTMetro wrote:
           | Been there done that. It actually led to my final spiral out
           | of control.
           | 
           | The court ordered person I work with has been the best help.
           | He doesn't fuck around. While the therapist said 'why do you
           | feel this way...why do you think that...blah blah' this guy
           | was the first person my whole life to say 'dude, you have
           | value, I wish you could see the person I see'. I can't
           | explain what hearing that did for me. Especially from someone
           | that knows ALL the good and the bad. I can't use my 'but if
           | he only knew' cop out.
        
       | CatWChainsaw wrote:
       | I eat hotdogs "sideways". Since I don't put condiments on mine, I
       | eat it so there's bun on top like a hamburger would be.
        
       | cafard wrote:
       | Several years ago, I was reading the NYRB selections from
       | Thoreau's journals. Somewhere well into it, he wrote of talking
       | with a friend, and the two deciding that perhaps they were tying
       | their shoes wrong. They switched the order of the first cross-
       | over, and found the results much better.
       | 
       | I tried it (age 50-something), and discovered that I no longer
       | needed to double-knot my shoes.
        
       | ornornor wrote:
       | How to tie my shoes. If if loop around the other way than I
       | normally do, the bow stands parallel to the ground plane instead
       | of vertical and gets tighter over time instead of looser and
       | undone. I don't have to constantly retie my shoes anymore since
       | figuring that out.
        
       | prometheus76 wrote:
       | Do you have to tie a double knot to keep your shoes from coming
       | untied? Do your loops end up pointing down at your toes and up
       | your leg instead of pointing to the sides of your shoe? Do you
       | shoes come untied all the time? You are probably tying a granny
       | knot instead of a square knot.
       | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAFcV7zuUDA
        
       | mhb wrote:
       | Ice might not be the best treatment for aches, pains, muscle
       | sprains, etc.:
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34051860
        
         | hammock wrote:
         | This is relatively new, I wouldn't classify it as "wrong" but
         | "changing science/protocol"
         | 
         | The new protocol is MEAT instead of RICE.
         | 
         | The knowledge hasn't reached every medical provider yet
        
       | evilbob93 wrote:
       | Tying my shoes: My knots would always come out, so i got into the
       | habit of tying the loops together. A few years ago, in my mid
       | 50's I realized that I was tying a granny not rather than a
       | square not. I made the adjustment and have never tied my loops
       | together again.
        
       | aendruk wrote:
       | I used to regularly feel bad but didn't recognize the feeling as
       | thirst. Turns out humans are supposed to drink water.
        
         | pancrufty wrote:
         | "Recognizing feelings" is something we can be really bad at.
         | 
         | Occasionally I would feel "really hungry" in the morning. Only
         | in my thirties I realized that that "hungry feeling" was just
         | stomach pain and a direct consequence of eating late at night.
         | 
         | Similarly, I couldn't understand why I had a headache at 5 AM.
         | Hint: I hadn't gone to bed yet. Realized by my late twenties.
        
           | maximus-decimus wrote:
           | Similarly, my father had headaches on Sundays his whole adult
           | life. Turns out he wasn't wasn't drinking coffee on the
           | weekends so was getting withdrawal syndromes every Sunday.
        
       | nmeofthestate wrote:
       | I previously used to rinse my mouth after brushing my teeth, then
       | was told not to do this. Not rinsing is a big improvement.
        
       | mikosty wrote:
       | Avoiding and suppressing uncomfortable emotions and feelings
       | instead of fully accepting and acting on them. This is of course
       | a huge topic in itself and easier said than done but I'm
       | confident that investment on this area almost always worth it.
       | You are fortunate if you got this already in childhood!
       | 
       | Another thing would be flossing with dental brushes. Gum
       | infections can ruin your health in many ways.
        
       | sebastianconcpt wrote:
       | Cutting onion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwRttSfnfcc
        
       | lr4444lr wrote:
       | Arching my lower back as a default position for sitting and
       | standing and avoiding rounding my back at all times. I always
       | thought that slumped posture was the most important thing to
       | avoid, but this created maladaptive muscle fixedness around the
       | spine, confirmed by imaging taken by orthopedists.
       | 
       | The spine is adapted to bend multiple ways, including rounding,
       | as a matter of good exercise form. It's a major function of your
       | abdominal musculature, in fact, to compress the spine forward
       | along the transverse plane. Just don't pick up heavy stuff that
       | way or hunch over a desk all day.
        
         | hammock wrote:
         | Neutral back
        
       | captn3m0 wrote:
       | I walked wrong. When I was around 11 years old, a relative
       | pointed out that my gait was weird because I placed the front-of-
       | the-foot on the ground before the heel. I'm not sure if I'd done
       | this for all my life, or if it was a recent habit, but once it
       | was pointed out - I fixed it immediately, to the point where I
       | forgot my old gait by the next few days.
        
         | blahedo wrote:
         | Not exactly "wrong", just nonstandard in the modern (western?)
         | context. I've read that the toe-first gait was once relatively
         | common before footwear became strong and universal---heel-
         | strike walking is definitely harder on a bare heel, and more
         | likely to hurt if you step barefoot on a small object.
         | 
         | I'm able to walk either way, which was a lifesaver one time
         | when I started developing shin splints (from a temporary job
         | with a _lot_ of unaccustomed fast walking on concrete floors)
         | but couldn 't really be off my feet--the toe-first walking was
         | nearly as fast and used a completely different muscle pattern,
         | so I could walk that way without triggering the inflammation.
         | :)
        
         | timerol wrote:
         | Based on modern understanding of walking ergonomics, it would
         | be better for you to go back to your 11 year old walking style
        
       | pedrow wrote:
       | There was a thing about tying shoelaces a few years back, for
       | example this from the BBC [1]. Apparently I was doing it wrong
       | but anyway I prefer the extra back exercise I get from bending
       | down to retie.
       | 
       | [1]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT2XiPgiZK8
        
       | high_byte wrote:
       | holding pens & pencils wrong. I've known since I was in like 2nd
       | grade when my teacher told me. I only tried to change it in my
       | twenties with some success in my mid-late twenties. I work on the
       | computer mostly so I rarely write, but I keep trying to improve!
       | 
       | see second image here to see what I mean by wrong:
       | https://thecrackedamethyst.tumblr.com/post/180226225116/appa...
        
       | maximus-decimus wrote:
       | I realised in my 20's I was tying my shoes wrong and that's why
       | my laces always got lose. I don't think I ever had them loosen
       | themselves since I learned the correct way from this Ted X video
       | : https://www.ted.com/talks/terry_moore_how_to_tie_your_shoes?...
        
       | kraftman wrote:
       | Not my entire life, but competing with my girlfriend/wife. Trying
       | to win arguments instead of trying to solve the problem. Holding
       | onto resentments instead of letting them go. We used to have huge
       | arguements all the time, it took having a kid together to finally
       | hammer it into my head that we are on the same team, we need to
       | work together. Since then we've had 2 kids under 2 during covid
       | and barely argued in 4 years
        
         | halkony wrote:
         | This reminds me of an article I read some time ago written by a
         | house wife. In it, she admitted to verbally abusing her husband
         | and demeaning his intelligence. When he'd do things like
         | accidentally put colors in the wrong wash, she would chew him
         | out and belittle him for not doing it right. And of course he
         | felt ashamed and uncomfortable sharing his trivial mistakes
         | with his wife. Then one time she left his tools out in the rain
         | and they rusted. She apologized profusely but all he said was
         | "It's okay, they're only tools."
         | 
         | It made her rethink how she treated her husband. She married
         | him because she knew he was intelligent and kind, so why does
         | she look for evidence to the contrary and berate him for it?
         | She says their marriage was much better after she realized her
         | fault in this. That article left a deep impression on me as to
         | how I should treat my partner/people I respect.
        
       | jjk166 wrote:
       | Buying alcohol based mouthwash. For years the burning sensation
       | was always terrible and I'd often cheat, either not using as much
       | or not swishing as long as recommended. Accidentally grabbed
       | alcohol free mouthwash one time and it was wonderful.
        
         | raverbashing wrote:
         | I'm not sure it's alcohol, but the worse offender on "mouthwash
         | that burns" is Listerine.
         | 
         | Alcohol or no, there's no need to get an aggressive one
        
       | veganjay wrote:
       | Breathing through my mouth.
       | 
       | I trained myself to breathe through my nose during the day. And
       | at night, I put a little piece of tape on my mouth to make sure I
       | breathe through my nose.
        
         | alainchabat wrote:
         | where is your tongue position?
         | 
         | The proper position should be on the roof of your mouth then
         | you'll automatically breath with your nose.
        
       | bloomingeek wrote:
       | Assuming. As in, others understanding, maybe not believing, what
       | I'm trying to get across. Others get a reasonable argument or are
       | open minded. (Of course what's reasonable to me isn't always to
       | others.) Others can walk their own life path instead of being led
       | by others. (This is still very difficult for me as I try to
       | understand how people are led by others who don't always have
       | their best interest at heart.)
       | 
       | Now I've learned to take almost nothing for granted, which makes
       | me happier.
        
       | hgomersall wrote:
       | A common one is the tying of one's shoelaces. It's pretty common
       | to tie the knot in an unbalanced way.
       | https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/grannyknot.htm
        
         | bregma wrote:
         | It wasn't until I had to teach knots to Cub Scouts that I
         | realized my life was a lie, at least when it came to tying
         | shoes. I was the object of ridicule for 50 years but now I walk
         | with confidence, and always-tied shoes.
        
         | vehemenz wrote:
         | Yep. I did this for about 30 years before I learned the correct
         | way (from that site, no less).
        
         | daRealDodo wrote:
         | Worthy of the best TED talk ever: https://youtu.be/zAFcV7zuUDA
        
           | WithinReason wrote:
           | That is now outdated:
           | 
           | https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/ianknot.htm
           | 
           | Another view:
           | 
           | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cBtqhq5P28
        
             | maximus-decimus wrote:
             | What does that even mean? lol. The Ted way still works and
             | the shoe laces have not come undone in 10 years since I've
             | been using it, so why would I change method?
        
             | hgomersall wrote:
             | It's quite hard to maintain tension with the Ian knot and
             | it also doesn't speed up the initial twist. It's a good
             | party trick though!
        
               | WithinReason wrote:
               | You can just leave the initial twist on the shoestring
        
             | hirenj wrote:
             | I've been using the secure version of this knot for a few
             | years now, and I've been entirely satisfied with how it
             | holds up in the real world!
             | 
             | https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/secureknot.htm
        
         | pmarreck wrote:
         | I'm a full fledged adult but I also appreciate efficiency so I
         | recently invested in these things and so far so awesome:
         | 
         | Orange Elastic No Tie Shoe Laces...
         | https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07PK2N1PD?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_shar...
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | Zecc wrote:
         | Regardless of the knot itself, a heel lock also helps.
         | 
         | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBbc6TackDQ
        
         | lepapillon wrote:
         | I came here to post this one. For about 25 years of my life I
         | was tying my knots the wrong way and I just thought shoelaces
         | just had to be re-tied periodically. I don't remember where I
         | learnt to just tie the loop the other way. Now strain on the
         | laces just serves to tighten the knot.
        
         | Semaphor wrote:
         | This was so confusing to me. Don't American kids learn how to
         | tie their shoes properly? Here in Germany, I was taught that in
         | kindergarten.
        
           | CSMastermind wrote:
           | The knots being discussed are similar with one small
           | difference: the direction you wrap the shoelace during one
           | step.
           | 
           | The "incorrect" knot still works relatively well and looks
           | almost the same as the "correct" knot. The "incorrect" one
           | also requires significantly less finger dexterity which is
           | why children tend to prefer it.
        
             | Semaphor wrote:
             | Yeah, that is what we learned, not to make the shoddy knot.
        
         | derekp7 wrote:
         | Learning the Ian knot was life changing for me -- not only did
         | it automatically correct the bow being in the correct
         | orientation, but it doesn't take an inconvenient amount of time
         | to tie my shoes anymore. Esp. when walking with a group, if a
         | lace comes untied I can fix it without losing more than a
         | couple paces.
        
         | kuon wrote:
         | I was also about to post that, and note that my wife who is
         | japanese told me that in japan the correct way to tie shoelaces
         | was taught at school, and she laughed for about a week when I
         | told her that at 40 I didn't know that.
        
         | songshu wrote:
         | Yes and then spend a lifetime with annoying workarounds. A
         | friend has been double knotting forever :(
        
         | zzzeek wrote:
         | this was my answer as well
        
       | michaelchisari wrote:
       | My doctor had me work on increasing the amount of water I drink
       | in a day until I hit the recommended amount, and journaling the
       | result.
       | 
       | Turns out, I had spent most of my life dehydrated. I feel so much
       | better when I drink a ton of water.
        
         | dangwhy wrote:
         | Curious. What changes have you observed from drinking more
         | water.
        
         | hoffspot wrote:
         | This. I thought I had allergies that stuffed up my nose and
         | sinuses my entire life. Then I started tracking my water
         | intake, drinking the proper amount, and boom, my entire head
         | cleared up. I'm so mad at myself for not realizing this decades
         | ago.
        
       | c120 wrote:
       | When making jam or cooking anything to keep for later, not
       | touching the inside of the lid after to boil it to kill germs! I
       | learned that when making jam with a friend who's a doctor in a
       | hospital and it's so easy to accidentally touch something to then
       | comes into contact with the food. Also, to properly kill germs,
       | you need to cook stuff for 7 minutes...
        
       | enigmoid wrote:
       | A few years ago I discovered that I had spent my entire life
       | tying my shoes incorrectly, with a Granny Knot instead of the
       | stable Square Knot (the knots are very similar). My shoes would
       | always come untied and I frequently double knotted them. Now a
       | single knot is always sufficient.
       | 
       | https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/grannyknot.htm
        
         | solarmist wrote:
         | This! I've never had a good explanation, but being left handed
         | I was making a granny knot about 80% of the time. I never
         | figured it out consciously, but it eventually nearly stopped.
         | Just the rare one.
         | 
         | Now I understand!
        
         | tstrimple wrote:
         | Huh. Not only have I been tying my shoes incorrectly for
         | decades, I've taught my children to do the same.
        
       | wscott wrote:
       | You are tying your shoes wrong: https://www.inc.com/minda-
       | zetlin/theres-a-better-way-to-tie-... (tie the bow reversed from
       | the square knot and it will last much longer)
       | 
       | But then trying to come up with a good link I hit this
       | alternative version which is really cool:
       | https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/ianknot.htm
       | 
       | Likely you can do an Ian knot reversed from the square knob, but
       | I need to play with that.
        
       | dgunay wrote:
       | I hold spoons kind of "wrong"; basically put your palm facing
       | down, make a fist, and then support the spoon with your thumb.
       | That's how I eat soup when I'm not actively thinking about it. I
       | just control the angle of the spook with my thumb.
       | 
       | It's objectively not as flexible as the traditional spoon grip
       | but I can't seem to shake the habit. Gets me strange looks
       | sometimes
        
         | yamtaddle wrote:
         | Flatware grips and even orientations (tines up vs. tines down
         | on a fork) can vary with culture and is also a bit tied up with
         | class. What you're doing may be "correct" somewhere :-)
        
       | yodsanklai wrote:
       | Sleeping on my stomach. I'm pretty sure it makes my back/neck
       | pain worse, but I'm just unable to change this habit.
        
         | glacials wrote:
         | Depends on your back. I'm a back sleeper with back pain and my
         | physical therapist told me to start stomach sleeping. It helps
         | a lot.
        
         | nativespecies wrote:
         | I've tried changing from stomach to side sleeping for probably
         | the last 5 years and have completely failed. I have resorted to
         | the "rotisserie chicken" method where I have to turn every
         | which way multiple times all night to get sleep.
        
         | intrasight wrote:
         | I had a cold last week, and started going to sleep on my
         | stomach because I was able to get more comfortable and relaxed.
        
       | throwaway019254 wrote:
       | So I learned recently that I was tying my shoes in the wrong way
       | my whole life.
       | 
       | The classic knot has two versions, the weak one where loops are
       | more vertical, and the strong one where loops are more
       | horizontal.
       | 
       | It took me about two weeks to re-learn tying my shoes.
        
       | benced wrote:
       | Being correct is extremely overrated, it's better to allocate
       | that time to doing more things or fully internalizing information
       | you already know (I.e. how everyone knows it's better to take
       | chances than not but basically everyone is at least somewhat
       | chance-averse).
        
       | niom wrote:
       | Mental health. Haven't seen it mentioned yet.
       | 
       | Never think of yourself as wrong, invalid, defective or unworthy.
       | That's wrong. Don't do it.
       | 
       | For about 90 % of my life I've thought about myself as defective
       | in many ways.
       | 
       | - In puberty I thought I was defective because other boys were
       | talking about their crushes, how they'd like to f--- this girl or
       | that girl or how they got a boner just looking at them. Later
       | almost everyone got a girlfriend or two. None of that happened
       | for me, so I felt defective. Turns out I'm gay.
       | 
       | - Also in puberty I'd get random boners when sitting down in the
       | bus. It made me feel ashamed and like a pervert, so I stopped
       | sitting down in public transit. Turns out many boys experience
       | this in puberty because, well... the vibrations. They're called
       | "bus boners".
       | 
       | - I always struggled a lot remembering faces and names. I felt
       | bad about it because I thought it meant I didn't care or try
       | enough. I've always had issues forming relationships and again I
       | felt bad and thought I just had to try harder and make a better
       | effort, which didn't work. And various other issues, and for each
       | of them I thought it was a defect of myself. Turns out I'm on the
       | spectrum and my parents didn't bother telling me about being
       | diagnosed as a child. I only found out when bored me stumbled
       | over online autism tests and _literally all of them_ came out
       | strongly autistic-neurodivergent.
        
         | solarmist wrote:
         | Yes, knowing and understanding that you're not alone in your
         | feelings and experiences is super important too.
         | 
         | Another piece is understanding your body's feelings and your
         | emotions. Many people aren't taught how to understand their
         | feelings and emotions, especially men. This is NOT automatic.
         | It is not difficult, but it can be very hard and unpleasant.
         | Everyone needs to be taught how to process emotions,
         | emotionally healthy people are taught this as children.
         | 
         | But to balance this a bit.
         | 
         | You, as a person, are never wrong, but you are still
         | accountable for your actions/words. This is an important
         | distinction to keep in mind.
        
       | Trufa wrote:
       | Eating. I've stressed and binged eaten all my life without
       | knowing.
       | 
       | Removed the two, started surfing and 50kg (110 pounds) later I'm
       | happier and more active than I've ever been.
        
         | andrelaszlo wrote:
         | _How_ did you stop? That sounds like a difficult change to
         | make.
        
           | didgeoridoo wrote:
           | I had the same problem, and the answer was a bit of therapy
           | and a lot of rethinking my mind's relationship to my body.
           | 
           | I used IFS methodology, which encourages you to investigate
           | what "part" of you is doing the overeating, and why that part
           | seems to think it's necessary (is it protecting you?
           | Distracting you?). I don't really buy much of the IFS
           | framework, but there's some stuff in there that subjectively
           | helped me.
           | 
           | I also suffered from a tendency (probably common here) to
           | over-intellectualize things and generally feel disconnected
           | from my actual body. Exercise and mindfulness practice helped
           | that part.
           | 
           | All those things together helped me feel like I could stop
           | fighting my body, and I could find better outlets for my
           | furiously running mind than trying to calm it down by eating
           | chocolate chips out of the bag at 10pm.
        
           | HDThoreaun wrote:
           | New weight loss medication works. Both the big ones are
           | showing 20% loss over a year versus 3% with placebo. It's
           | crazy expensive, but a lot of the tech workers here could
           | afford.
        
             | Taylor_OD wrote:
             | Like what? I know some do but they are basically just
             | suppressing your appetite and speeding up your metabolism.
             | Like meth does.
             | 
             | I've used methods to control hunger in the past but
             | basically felt like my heart was racing and had hard times
             | sleeping when using it.
        
               | HDThoreaun wrote:
               | Semaglutide and tirzepatide are the big ones. They are
               | appetite suppressants, but they're not stimulants like
               | the old "requiem for a dream" style weight loss meds.
               | They just make you a lot less hungry.
        
             | dclusin wrote:
             | Seniglutide has been getting a lot of press lately.
        
           | Trufa wrote:
           | Surf was a great motivator, cause I discoverers i loved it
           | and it helps to be skinnier. But I'm kind of the just stop
           | doing it kind of guy and this time it just worked. It's
           | simple but hard, if you just stop doing it, that's it. I'm no
           | weight loss guru tho, just worked for me. Move way more, eat
           | way less.
        
         | intrasight wrote:
         | STILL struggling with this one - like millions I'm sure. An
         | every day struggle. I am trying to reward myself with good
         | behavior and enforce "kitchen is closed at 9". My GF only eats
         | at three meals. I find it impressive and amazing.
        
       | tashoecraft wrote:
       | Wearing modern shoes. As a society, we have somehow led everyone
       | down the path that feet must be wrapped in socks that constrict
       | the feet, then placed in shoes that are designed for looks and
       | not anatomy. It's led to generations of people that have weak
       | feet, and unnecessary pain all throughout their body because the
       | base of what they stand on has been weakened.
       | 
       | Wearing toe socks and minimalist shoes, combined with going
       | barefoot as much as possible, has rescued my feet, ankles, and
       | knees from pain.
        
         | rngname22 wrote:
         | Just an addendum since HN is so often quick to try new things.
         | 
         | Do not. Do not. Do not jump into jogging with barefoot or
         | minimal shoes without a very very slow increase in distance.
         | Even if you feel fine and don't notice any pain or problem, or
         | your cardio can support you going 5 kilometers, you want to
         | very slowly adjust up your distance/time spent doing harder
         | exercise with that type of big change in footwear.
         | 
         | Otherwise you can give yourself injuries that can lead to
         | short-term or even long-term/permanent complications that
         | interfere with your quality of life and physical abilities.
        
         | blamestross wrote:
         | I'll add to this. There are situations and people who need
         | modern arch support for functional feet, but if you have
         | healthy feet, arch support all the time only takes away from
         | the muscle strength needed to keep them that way. I've found
         | similarly for back support, my back is doing better sitting on
         | a yoga pillow or stool (And putting effort into proper posture)
         | than any amount of ergonomic back support.
         | 
         | Ergonomic keyboards, on the other hand, are something everyone
         | should be using from the start (though we are still figuring
         | out how to make them right). Humans evolved to sit and walk,
         | but not to keyboard...
        
           | thefaux wrote:
           | > arch support all the time only takes away from the muscle
           | strength needed to keep them that way
           | 
           | Years ago, I suddenly increased my walking and started having
           | horrific pain in my arches. In response, I started wearing
           | arch support insoles all the time. If I didn't wear them, my
           | arches would ache. Like you said, my foot strength got very
           | poor and I eventually suffered a serious injury in my midfoot
           | playing basketball. During rehab, I stopped wearing the arch
           | supports and eventually moved on to minimalist shoes and my
           | feet have gotten dramatically stronger and I never notice
           | weakness in my arches anymore.
        
           | ypeterholmes wrote:
           | For me wearing superfeet inserts completely fixed my knee
           | pain.
        
         | JTbane wrote:
         | In a similar vein I found flat-soled shoes like Converse
         | sneakers are a dream to wear during daily activities, rather
         | than arch-supported shoes.
        
           | jeltz wrote:
           | Converse require you to have narrow feet or else they will
           | just hurt your feet. They are also not very durable.
        
           | detritus wrote:
           | Hrmm, I've long been a fan of thin-soled, low profile shoes,
           | but having experienced my first ever pair of Converse just
           | last year, I'd suggest 'avoid'.
           | 
           | They're not expensive, but they're certainly not cheap - but
           | they certainly don't last very long at all. I walk a couple
           | of miles a day to and from work and they barely lasted 6
           | weeks. Soles were worn down and the uppers were just
           | knackered.
        
           | tashoecraft wrote:
           | Definitely a good start. It can be difficult for many to
           | transition as you are trying to use muscles that haven't been
           | engaged properly for decades.
        
       | alainchabat wrote:
       | Having my tongue rest on the bottom of your mouth.
       | 
       | Proper tongue positioning is when you rest your tongue on the
       | roof of the mouth and away from the teeth. It's been 2 years I've
       | been "mewing"[1]. A good side effect for me: Now I stop snoring
       | and I believe I have better posture. Some claim that it will
       | improve your jawline but not for me, I guess I started too late.
       | If I had started in my teen, I believe I would have had a great
       | face today ?
       | 
       | [1] Check youtube videos for "mewing" or lookup JawHacks videos
        
         | machiaweliczny wrote:
         | I also wrote about it. It's connected to ,,infantile
         | swallowing". Seems like 3-4 year old child should change tongue
         | placement but if you have alergy and runny nose then you might
         | never learn it.
         | 
         | I suspect that for me it switched back later as I was very good
         | in long distance running as kid and after one time beeing sick
         | I never recovered to my previous form. It never occured to me
         | that it was tongue placement :(
        
         | Nesco wrote:
         | "Mewing" is just normal tongue posture. It _will not_ improve
         | your jawline. Usually it's the reverse: if you need to "mew"  /
         | put your tongue on the roof of your mouth consciously and if
         | you naturally snores it's _because_ of a problem.
         | 
         | Problem that is often genetic or more rarely that appeared
         | during your development: either your face lacks forward
         | projection or a part only is recessed (malocclusion: your upper
         | and lower teeth don't perfectly fit).
         | 
         | The only way to definitively cure it is to go through an
         | orthognatic surgery. If not treated it might evolves into sleep
         | apnea as you are getting older. You should check with an
         | orthodontist or a maxillo-facial surgeon to make sure that's
         | what your are suffering from.
         | 
         | If your are lucky like me, ie you have enough projection and no
         | malocclusion, a genioplasty might be sufficient to naturally
         | seal your lips without muscle contraction by bringing them
         | closer. In my case it's what created the pressure differential
         | needed for my tongue to stay in the roof of my mouth. If you
         | are unlucky a BSSO, a Lefort I or both (Bimax) might be
         | necessary. Some extreme cases might even require the three
         | surgeries.
        
           | Llamamoe wrote:
           | While genetic/heritable factors play a role, the evidence is
           | overwhelming that the main cause is weak jaw muscles and
           | improper resting posture during childhood, due to soft diets
           | and allergies.
           | 
           | I'd also like to add that even in absence of sleep apnea,
           | Upper Airway Resistance Syndrome, where the airway collapses
           | but the body partially wakes up before it progresses into an
           | apnea, is likely, and often missed by diagnostics.
           | 
           | In general, maxillomandibular advancement is always more
           | effective than genioglossus advancement during genio.
        
             | Nesco wrote:
             | Thanks for the precision! Bimax indeed best practice but
             | performing BSSO comes with significant risk of nerve
             | damages.
             | 
             | In my (light) case for example two independant surgeons
             | advised me against as the risk outweighed the potential
             | benefice
        
         | mijoharas wrote:
         | I'd not heard of this and so googled mewing. The first link[0]
         | seems to imply that the research into it is somewhat lacking
         | (or shows there to be no effect), and that the guy that
         | invented it had his license stripped.
         | 
         | I assume now you have anecdotal evidence of it working for you
         | for snoring, but what made you think it would work in the first
         | place?
         | 
         | [0] https://www.webmd.com/oral-health/what-is-mewing
        
         | fellerts wrote:
         | Hard to tell, but I think this is the natural resting spot for
         | my tongue. Now I'm curious, where else would you rest it?
        
           | alainchabat wrote:
           | The other (incorrect) resting position would be the tip of
           | your tongue touching , and not your full tongue.
           | 
           | https://imgur.com/a/0BBXGUz
        
             | Beaver117 wrote:
             | Wow, I physically can't do this. I can only touch the tip
             | of my tongue to the roof. Guess I need jaw surgery.
        
           | thih9 wrote:
           | According to GP, incorrect:
           | 
           | > on the bottom of your mouth
           | 
           | correct:
           | 
           | > when you rest your tongue on the roof of the mouth and away
           | from the teeth
        
       | yamtaddle wrote:
       | Oh! Another!
       | 
       | Car side mirrors. I spent more than a decade of driving adjusting
       | them wrong. You want them so you don't see cars behind you _at
       | all_ in your side mirrors until they 're transitioning off the
       | edge of your center rear-view mirror. This gives you far more
       | coverage of your sides, and every car is still visible in at
       | least one mirror at all times. For me, where I put my seat, this
       | usually means setting them as far out as they'll go.
        
         | Striykur wrote:
         | I often see this technique used to eliminate your blind spot
         | since side view mirrors are mainly facing the area where your
         | blind spot is. I don't recommend this:
         | 
         | 1. When you set your side mirrors like this you are heavily
         | relying on you rear view mirrors to see cars behind/around you
         | in the other lanes. However your rear view mirror can easily
         | get blocked by people or items sitting in the back of the car
         | or large vehicles following closely behind who completely block
         | your view of cars in the other lanes (remember side view
         | mirrors will only show cars in your blind spot, not cars
         | traveling in the other lanes that may be go significantly
         | faster than you if you decide to change your lane).
         | 
         | 2. Positioning your mirrors like this does not make all cars
         | visible to you if you are on a road with more than 2 lanes and
         | so you still must do a blind spot check by physically turning
         | your head. This is because on a 3+ lane road and you are in
         | lane 1, there may be a car in lane 3 moving into lane 2 while
         | you are at the same time moving into lane 2 as well. Having
         | your mirrors set so they only watch your blind spot you will
         | not see that the car is moving towards the lane you are moving
         | to until it's too late. Doing a blind spot check you will be
         | able to see a car 2 lanes over is trying to move to the same
         | spot you're trying to move to.
         | 
         | I like setting my mirrors so I just barely see the edge of my
         | car when I look at the mirror. That way if there is a car
         | behind me, their headlights aren't constantly flashing at me
         | from the mirror in my peripheral vision until I turn my head
         | toward the mirror and then I can see his headlights near the
         | edge of my car. I can see cars in the other lane but it doesn't
         | show cars in my blind spot (I still do a blind spot check).
         | Another plus to this is that it's easier to park backwards. The
         | best of both worlds is also having a fisheye mirror on top of
         | you regular mirror that shows you your blind spot but this is
         | not a substitute for doing a blind spot check!
        
           | yamtaddle wrote:
           | It doesn't replace looking around, but does expand how much
           | I'm aware of from mirrors alone, a ton. I don't get how
           | seeing less is better (though I do adjust them in if
           | something's blocking the rear-view, but that's not a normal
           | situation).
        
             | Striykur wrote:
             | It's a normal situation for me. I might be hauling a couple
             | people in my back seats so their heads block the rear view.
             | There maybe a semi truck behind me and I need to change
             | lanes but they completely block my view out the rear view
             | so I will only ever know that there isn't a car in my blind
             | spot but won't know if there are cars in the other lane
             | traveling significantly faster than me.
             | 
             | It's not about seeing less. It's just the fact that the
             | rear view mirror is the most likely to get obstructed. I
             | use the rear to mainly get a feel for the amount of traffic
             | around me but I try to check it first then my side mirror
             | then my blind spot before changing lanes.
        
         | halfnormalform wrote:
         | Absolutely! I know what the sides of my car looks like and
         | don't need to see them in the side mirrors. Cars leave the edge
         | of the rearview and immediately show up on the inside edge of
         | the side mirror. I love it, but anyone else who drives my car
         | hates it.
        
         | lucb1e wrote:
         | That's not what I was taught. It sounds logical but before I
         | take an internet stranger's word on changing one of the
         | likeliest things in life to kill you or those around you, did
         | you read somewhere that this is a good idea based on research
         | xyz or is this something you came up with?
        
           | yamtaddle wrote:
           | IIRC I read it somewhere long after I learned, tried it, and
           | it was so much better I was certain it was correct. All but
           | completely eliminated my blind spots (I still turn and look,
           | but pretty much never see anything that wasn't already in a
           | side mirror, now). Turn them farther in and you're losing
           | side visibility to gain redundant rear coverage.
           | 
           | [EDIT] I think I read about it in the context of correcting a
           | common misconception or mistake, actually. Correct adjustment
           | of the mirrors was described as watching a car leave your
           | rearview mirror, and ensuring they show up on your sideview
           | just as they're leaving the rearview--so if you can see cars
           | on your sideviews before they're starting to slip off the
           | edge of your rearview, you've got those adjusted too far in.
           | For me, given how far back I put my seat, this ended up
           | meaning I should adjust the mirrors all the way out in most
           | cars. The idea is both to not have a gap in the
           | sideview/rearview coverage, while maximizing side coverage
           | within that constraint. So, if you can see cars in your
           | sideview while they're still solidly in your rearview, that
           | means you've got less side coverage than would be ideal.
        
           | halfnormalform wrote:
           | Society of Automotive Engineers, 1995:
           | https://www.sae.org/publications/technical-
           | papers/content/95...
           | 
           | Referenced in:
           | https://www.caranddriver.com/features/a15131074/how-to-
           | adjus...
           | 
           | (edited to include 2nd link)
        
           | viggity wrote:
           | BMW has a performance driving class and they teach the same
           | thing - set them far away from your own car. It is a little
           | disorienting at first because you kind of don't have a point
           | of reference like you would normally, but it is totally worth
           | it.
        
         | spcebar wrote:
         | I'll add to this that if, while you're parking, you angle your
         | mirrors downward, you can easily see your proximity to the
         | curb/line
        
         | solarmist wrote:
         | Yeah, from your normal driving position, you want to barely see
         | your own car. Which is pretty close to all the way out.
         | 
         | Most people's side mirrors are filled with their own car which
         | tells you nothing.
        
       | car wrote:
       | Realizing that the food we commonly eat, like butter, meat and
       | dairy, are the main source of cardiovascular diseases that are
       | the prevailing cause of death in our society.
        
       | pcdoodle wrote:
       | Elon Musk mentioned the "Elevate the head of your bed by 3"" a
       | few months back. Had an open schedule that day so I said "f-it,
       | let's go look at my lumber out back".
       | 
       | Long story short, I put a 4x4 (3.5" actual) across the head of
       | the box spring and a 2x4" (1.5" actual) across the middle. I have
       | been sleeping a whole lot better even since.
        
         | high_byte wrote:
         | I just tried this. it does actually feel better already just by
         | lying down! can't wait to sleep tonight :)
        
           | pcdoodle wrote:
           | Please report back :) I haven't been able to convince anyone
           | else to try it.
        
       | anthomtb wrote:
       | Proper hand washing. The only good thing about the pandemic. I
       | wonder how many colds I could have avoided by spending 20 seconds
       | soaping up instead of 2.
        
         | antipotoad wrote:
         | To add to this: don't touch your eyes when you've been in
         | public places and touched unsanitary surfaces. Your eyes are a
         | really easy path into the body for pathogens.
        
       | exogen wrote:
       | OK here's a dumb one. You know how the label on EVERY toilet bowl
       | cleaner bottle always says "Step 1: flush toilet"? I always
       | dutifully followed those instructions, thinking "hmm, the extra
       | splashing water must be pretty important and help it mix or
       | something."
       | 
       | But no. One day I realized it's just that my toilet always
       | started from a flushed state... like a normal person. But they
       | knew somewhere out there, someone would try to clean their toilet
       | still full of piss and shit.
        
         | adrianmonk wrote:
         | Step 1: Don't not flush toilet.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | ajeet_dhaliwal wrote:
       | Almost everything.
        
       | christophilus wrote:
       | Now I'm curious how you held it!
       | 
       | In my late 30s, I learned that I'd been tying my shoes wrong my
       | entire life.
        
       | stronglikedan wrote:
       | How to blow my nose. I used to have to find a bathroom to blow my
       | nose, because I couldn't figure out how to keep it from going
       | everywhere, while still getting it emptied. I just recently
       | learned the proper way in my late 40s.
        
         | rrgok wrote:
         | So, how is done properly? I cannot blow without blocking one
         | nostril.
        
       | lysozyme wrote:
       | Tangential to the original question, just want to note that
       | having such realizations constantly is one of the primary
       | benefits that accrues if you expend the energy to constantly keep
       | yourself in a learning/teaching mindset.
       | 
       | The primary global benefit of teaching, in my experience, is that
       | it keeps us jaded experts constantly at the entry point to our
       | field. Close to the basic, foundational material. Making sure
       | that it's easy for new people to join, because that's how the
       | field grows and it's good for everyone in it.
       | 
       | The primary local benefit, to the teacher, is that you have
       | moments like this that allow you to constantly refine your
       | worldview to be more congruent with reality. This allows you to
       | better define what should be taught, and how.
        
       | Dowwie wrote:
       | One of the worst thing I did for many decades was drink bottled
       | water and/or tap water. For many years I bought bottled water for
       | home consumption. I eventually learned about under-sink reverse-
       | osmosis water filtration systems and invested in one. For the
       | last ~15 years, I've used such systems, following scheduled
       | filter replacements. The water tastes and feels better than
       | bottled water. Last year, my county water utility issued a boiled
       | water alert due to high levels of e-coli. This wasn't a problem
       | at all for me because of my water filtration system.
        
         | shard wrote:
         | Typical reverse osmosis filter systems have to throw away 1x-3x
         | the amount of water filtered, which could be quite wasteful
         | depending on your water usage. It also removes many minerals
         | which some people then have to add back into the water. With
         | the water shortage issue in California, I decided to switch to
         | just regular undersink water filter as a replacement for
         | bottled water instead of reverse osmosis.
        
           | solarmist wrote:
           | It could be wasteful if hooked up to the whole house, but
           | it's unlikely an under-sink reverse osmosis system will have
           | a meaningful impact on your water consumption. Accurately
           | identifying where to implement it matters.
           | 
           | If you have hard water, I suggest a whole-house water
           | softener and reserve reverse osmosis for the kitchen.
           | 
           | Re: remineralization. Ick, I just skip these. They taste
           | awful to me.
        
         | charlieflowers wrote:
         | Can you recommend a brand? They are expensive and there are the
         | usual low quality, planned obscelesence game playing techniques
         | to sort through.
        
           | solarmist wrote:
           | AO Smith works well from what I've tried.
           | 
           | > there are the usual low quality, planned obscelesence game
           | playing techniques to sort through
           | 
           | Umm, a water filter is mostly a reservoir, tubing, and a pile
           | of chemical reactants. This is not planned obsolescence. This
           | is just pure chemistry. The reactants become saturated and
           | need replacing.
           | 
           | All water filtration systems require periodic changing of
           | filters.
           | 
           | That said, there are many stage filtration systems, and you
           | don't need most of them. A three-stage reverse osmosis system
           | will give you the cleanest water possible. Like mine was a 4
           | stage with a final remineralization step that I just didn't
           | hook up.
           | 
           | If you want to understand it better watch this [1], just skip
           | the deionization step because drinking deionized water is
           | very unhealthy.
           | 
           | [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nb1w15DHO4g
        
         | account42 wrote:
         | This depends a lot on where you live. In a lot of places, tap
         | water is just fine. In others you might as well be drinking
         | from a public swimming pool.
        
         | lucb1e wrote:
         | Add country and region for regional advice please.
         | 
         | In the Netherlands and afaik all surrounding countries, this is
         | definitely not necessary. Drink tap water all you want.
        
           | BrandoElFollito wrote:
           | I live in France where tap water is considered good and very
           | tightly controlled.
           | 
           | You cannot go wrong with tap water.
           | 
           | Now, there is the matter of taste. My tap water is ok, some
           | are much better. I drink from a Brita pitcher (the one with
           | overpriced filters) and the taste is noticeably better.
           | 
           | But again it is just the taste. The safety of tap water is a
           | given here (town halls have to post results from water tests
           | that are done on a regular basis).
        
       | Nesco wrote:
       | I realised most of my basic health routine was useless to
       | detrimental:
       | 
       | - Soap: it disrupt the skin microbiome. Only useful for hand
       | washing and to clean private parts / the bottom. Even then use
       | high quality soap like Marseille soap or Aleppo soap.
       | 
       |  _Note: Also as mentioned in the comments if you avoid soap /
       | deodorant you *will* probably need to shower two times a day even
       | without doing physical activities. Three times with physical
       | activities.
       | 
       | You may also need to particularly rub the smelly parts of the
       | body (e.g. the armpits) with a clean sponge, use mild to hot
       | water (cold water doesn't do it without soap) and trim your body
       | hair. There is no magic. People use soap for a reason: it's more
       | "practical" and it requires less care to stay clean
       | 
       | And if you are used to wash yourself with soap and you brutally
       | stop you may smell a little the first month until your microbiome
       | is able to handle all the waste and your skin to balance its oil
       | production. Even if you shower multiple times a day._
       | 
       | - Shampoo: Most shampoos are very a agressive for your scalp /
       | hairs and should be avoided. Especially if you have fragile /
       | curly hair. You can wash them with plain water or conditioner
       | instead.
       | 
       |  _Note: Using a gentle shampoo without silicones and surfactants
       | can still be useful from time to time. Especially to reset the pH
       | of the scalp.
       | 
       | Also using a shampoo rarely and co-washing instead can be
       | impractical if you have long hair as it's way harder to clean and
       | takes far longer to dry_
       | 
       | - Toothpaste: it can be useful but it's not so important. What
       | really is important is to brush your teeth energetically to
       | remove by mechanical friction the dental plaques and to change
       | toothbrush frequently. Avoiding for a time to use toothpaste and
       | using dental plaque revealer can be a great way to learn how to
       | properly wash one's teeth
       | 
       |  _Note: As someone else noted "energetically" means speed and
       | taking your time. *Not* applying pressure on your teeth. Also
       | toothpaste helps the teeth by providing fluoride. It's just that
       | using it every time may not be so useful and do not replace
       | brushing your teeth effectively_
        
         | friedman23 wrote:
         | Wow, you managed to convince yourself that something you were
         | doing right was wrong
        
           | rieg3c wrote:
           | ???
        
             | thepasswordis wrote:
             | It sounds like this person previously had a healthy
             | relationship with hygiene but has somehow convinced
             | themself to just stop cleaning themselves.
             | 
             | Soap and toothpaste are _good_ things. These are miraculous
             | modern inventions. Use them.
        
             | hgsgm wrote:
             | These are heterodox views about personal hygiene.
        
           | Karawebnetwork wrote:
           | Most conditioners are filled with silicones that are not
           | water soluble. But after a while, they break down and make
           | your hair look dirty.
           | 
           | The solution is to remove them, but you can only do that by
           | using strong solvents.
           | 
           | So you use shampoos that contain strong solvents. This
           | damages your hair, so you make sure to use conditioners to
           | repair the damage. Except they don't repair, they fill in the
           | holes with silicones. The silicones are now deeper into your
           | individual hair strands. It looks good, but after a while,
           | they break down. So you use solvents, deeper this time.
           | 
           | This damages your hair. Then you use conditioners. Most
           | conditioners are filled with silicones that are not water
           | soluble. Yet, after a short time...
        
             | jabroni_salad wrote:
             | That doesn't mean you shouldn't cowash, it means you should
             | upgrade to products that do not have silicone (also
             | phosphates). There are various haircare forums that will
             | give you the specific ingredients to look out for.
        
               | Karawebnetwork wrote:
               | I'm not saying you shouldn't wash.
               | 
               | The comment we are commenting under is not even saying
               | that but recommending that we pay attention to the
               | ingredients: "Most shampoos are very a agressive for your
               | scalp [...] Using a gentle shampoo without silicones and
               | surfactants"
               | 
               | Here is an interesting web application that allows you to
               | scan products to know their ingredients. It tells you if
               | they contain hard to remove silicones or harsh solvents.
               | https://curlscan.com/
               | 
               | Using it to scan the brands at the stores that are local
               | to me reveals that only a small minority of product do
               | not contain the silicone-solvent circle.
               | 
               | Anecdotal, sure, but I have been teaching this to all the
               | women in my life and they all report back that they are
               | able to go longer without washing their hair with
               | products now that they pay attention to the ingredients.
               | Turns out that for a lot of people, we were going through
               | the motion of adding a coat of product and removing that
               | coat of product daily instead of actually fighting grime
               | and sweat.
        
             | friedman23 wrote:
             | I donate my time to help the homeless. I know what people
             | that don't use soap smell like.
        
               | johannes1234321 wrote:
               | The key thing is water. And clean cloths.
        
               | Nesco wrote:
               | Exactly. There is a world between "don't use soap on your
               | body" and "never shower yourself or change your clothes".
               | I often wash myself with water two times per day
        
               | Karawebnetwork wrote:
               | You are telling me that you are able to detect by smell
               | whether a person is using a conditioner that contains
               | silicones?
        
         | tastyfreeze wrote:
         | I stopped washing my body with soap 3 years ago. Now I just
         | wash my nether region. I also wash my hair once a week. My skin
         | isn't dry and scratchy and my hair is strong and silky. Kind of
         | amazing that marketing has us all thinking that hygiene means
         | soaping everything everyday. Just water will remove most
         | things. Soap is to remove oil and fat.
        
         | pc86 wrote:
         | I can smell this comment.
        
         | maximus-decimus wrote:
         | Why though? What advantage are you getting from avoiding soap
         | that would convince people to stop using it?
        
         | bryanlarsen wrote:
         | If you sweat and you don't use soap and you don't want to stink
         | you need to wash every 4 hours or so. If you don't sweat you
         | need to wash every 8 hours or so. Soap adds about 50% to those
         | numbers.
         | 
         | If you're not dancing closely with people maybe you can extend
         | that time a little bit, but those are the numbers we settled on
         | as a dance community who regularly had dances longer than 4
         | hours...
        
         | glormph wrote:
         | Ha, I learned about no soap on HN some years ago, a HNer
         | claiming their lovers thought the no-soap skin smelled great. I
         | guess it's likely that other bacterial species may thrive on
         | your skin when not washing with soap (soap washing would remove
         | more bacteria, only allowing fast-multiplying bacteria to
         | repopulate the area, while water-washing would leave more
         | different species). Not sure if the microbiome difference is
         | better/healthier/nicer smelling. I jumped at the "my lovers
         | loved it" recommendation and gave it a try (still used shampoo,
         | no success excluding that, washed hands, used deodorant and
         | paid extra care to smelly areas), and the armpits definitely
         | smelled differently (but hardly like flowers) after a while of
         | this practice, __to me__. As pointed out already, that may be
         | have been my olfaction getting used to my newly acquired BO,
         | like not noticing the smell of your own house, but others'
         | houses smell different. My post-training clothes still smelled
         | terrible.
        
         | tthbrshthraway wrote:
         | > What really is important is to brush your teeth energetically
         | 
         | Potentially bad advice. If you apply too much pressure or use
         | too hard of a toothbrush you will get yourself early gum
         | recession. Brush gently using a soft brush, ideally electric
         | because it cleans better. Lots of info available on this
         | online, or ask your dentist.
        
           | Nesco wrote:
           | I should have clarified that I meant speed not pressure.
           | Applying pressure is indeed a awful for teeth
        
         | altdataseller wrote:
         | I heard conflicting info on this. I thought you were not
         | supposed to use soap for private parts?
        
           | Nesco wrote:
           | Not regularly but before / after intercourses. And for the
           | ass usually after each time you need to defecate.
        
           | munbun wrote:
           | please use more than just water.
        
             | altdataseller wrote:
             | Ha, I do use soap. I just heard somewhere you aren't
             | supposed to use any.
        
               | [deleted]
        
             | Lewton wrote:
             | Unless you have a vagina, in which case err on the side of
             | no soap, unless it becomes a problem (and then buy special
             | soap)
        
           | k8sToGo wrote:
           | You need to use special soap that has the right pH value.
           | Handsoap / shower gel is not the correct one.
        
         | nlh wrote:
         | Related discoveries/improvements I've made:
         | 
         | 1) Soap/Shampoo: I stopped using fancy perfumed big-brand
         | shampoos (Dial/Dove/Pert/etc. filled with things like
         | Methylchloroisothiazolinone which, despite being an endless
         | source of literary entertainment, is just a preservative) and
         | started using very very simple soaps, like Dr. Bronner's all-
         | purpose castile stuff, and I've found my hair/body is just as
         | clean and doesn't turn to oil/grease after a skipping one day
         | 
         | 2) Toothpaste: I switched to a brand that does NOT have sodium
         | lauryl sulfate (which just makes fake foam) and any minor bumps
         | or scratches (from an awkward tortilla chip chomp, for example)
         | no longer cause days worth of pain. MAJOR life improvement.
        
         | ahoho wrote:
         | These are not universals. I've seen the no-shampoo meme
         | repeatedly in online comments. As someone with long, fine hair,
         | I've made two attempts to go without, waiting almost a month
         | for my scalp to "reset". It always looked extremely greasy
         | (like Gary Oldman's character in Slow Horses).
         | 
         | I have had luck opting for gentler shampoos and not using them
         | every wash, but I wouldn't speak for anyone else. There is
         | large variance in peoples' bodies.
        
           | Nesco wrote:
           | I concur that my takes largely depends of my own situation.
           | Long hair is tremendously more difficult to wash and takes
           | way more time to dry. Just co-washing them is often
           | impractical. When I had longer hair I usually used shampoo
           | once every two to three days instead of once every two weeks.
           | Very gentle ones however
        
           | Bradlinc wrote:
           | Same here. Though with a dry shampoo (or corn starch) I have
           | found I can make it a few days in between washes.
        
           | boesboes wrote:
           | Same, except I get very dry and frizzy hair. I only wash mu
           | hair 2 times a week already & tried other crap for months
           | with no difference in how shitty my hair is
        
         | marcrosoft wrote:
         | I've met a few people in my life that avoid deodorants and
         | soaps and claim they don't need them and don't stink. They all
         | did. My theory is they get used to their smell after awhile and
         | can no longer smell it.
        
           | Pigalowda wrote:
           | Yep, they stink and this guy stinks too.
        
           | mrguyorama wrote:
           | Humanity ignored soap for significant amounts of its
           | existence. Nearly everyone stunk. There are likely very very
           | few people whose natural body microbiome won't end up
           | stinking. You (the reader) are probably not one of those
           | people.
        
           | Nesco wrote:
           | I indeed tends to get "dirty" and smell faster and I indeed
           | feel it. However I wash myself more often. Usually in the
           | morning and before bed. After sport sessions also
        
           | ergonaught wrote:
           | That is an interesting and seemingly likely explanation. I've
           | had this "debate" with entire groups of people who live in
           | much cooler environments and claim they don't have body odor,
           | but they most assuredly do. I never understood whether they
           | "don't stink when they're in their normal environment" or
           | just couldn't smell it anymore.
        
             | Pigalowda wrote:
             | I recently moved from Texas to seattle. They smell like
             | dirt and wet dog as well as traditional musky BO.
             | 
             | They don't smell it because their olfactory neurons have
             | habituated.
        
           | muzani wrote:
           | I went through a phase of stinking and I can confirm you
           | don't realize it. Something in the brain just filters out
           | smells that you're used to.
        
         | pcdoodle wrote:
         | This is actually something I found myself doing the past few
         | years. A good wash cloth and self made products are 1000x
         | better than the heavy duty chemicals we put on our bodies
         | everyday. I have a rule: If I can't eat it, don't use in
         | externally either.
        
         | ericpauley wrote:
         | Strong disagree on toothpaste. Toothpaste is more than just a
         | physical abrasive, it's also a source of fluoride that makes
         | your enamel far more resistant to acid erosion.
        
           | Nesco wrote:
           | That's why I said it was useful in the first place. However
           | you already get enough fluorides with a moderate use.
        
         | maxlamb wrote:
         | I would add flossing on a daily basis to the list. In between
         | every single teeth - I missed that part when I was in my 20's
         | and now have bone loss in my jaw due to gum disease. Also why
         | most old people loose teeth at some point.
        
           | jb1991 wrote:
           | Also, oral care is correlated with mortality risks -- the
           | more plaque that builds up, the significantly greater chances
           | of all-cause mortality:
           | 
           | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=34575939
        
             | mrguyorama wrote:
             | That's one of them correlations innit? People who brush
             | less IN GENERAL are less healthy people, but not BECAUSE
             | they brush less.
        
               | jb1991 wrote:
               | > That's one of them correlations innit?
               | 
               | You might have something meaningful to contribute to the
               | discussion, but using a "word" like "innit" is not going
               | to get anyone to take your comment seriously.
        
           | notadev wrote:
           | Flossing can be sort of boring, so I purchased one of those
           | electric water-piks to floss using blasts of water. It's
           | similar to the little water gun they use at the dentists. It
           | works really well, kinda fun, and makes your mouth feel super
           | clean. Can't recommend it enough.
        
           | [deleted]
        
           | nailer wrote:
           | > I would add flossing on a daily basis to the list.
           | 
           | As something to do, or something to avoid? Most tribespeople
           | and animals don't floss and have healthier teeth than modern
           | people. I'm not sure sawing between ones gums is the ideal
           | way of removing plaque, and I suspect is not been tested
           | properly because I don't believe people actually do floss
           | every every day.
        
             | VBprogrammer wrote:
             | If you are going to compare to tribes people or animals
             | then you are going to have to completely avoid refined
             | sugar. Which may be more unrealistic than flossing every
             | day...
        
             | krsw wrote:
             | You also might just die from a infection if you can't a
             | root canal. Plus the whole sugar and corn syrup thing.
        
               | nailer wrote:
               | Well yes obviously avoid sugary foods that's fairly
               | common knowledge.
        
             | maxlamb wrote:
             | That was my thinking when I was younger but I was
             | definitely wrong. My gums are objectively healthier now
             | than back then.
             | 
             | The problem with this comparison is that most tribespeople
             | had kids by 18-20 so health issues that come much later
             | don't have much of an evolutionary hit. Losing teeth at 40
             | was not going to change things much for their genes.
             | 
             | Most tribespeople have diet that basically has no sugar, no
             | processed carbs, and most men died by 40-50 due to
             | intertribal warfare/infection so it didn't matter much if
             | you lose some teeth at 50. When you see documentaries of
             | tribespeople almost all the old people have some missing
             | teeth. If you don't mind loosing teeth when you get older
             | then I guess you can ignore that advice.
        
         | Bhilai wrote:
         | > Soap: it disrupt the skin microbiome. Only useful for hand
         | washing and to clean private parts / the bottom. Even then use
         | high quality soap like Marseille soap or Aleppo soap.
         | 
         | > Shampoo: Most shampoos are very a agressive for your scalp /
         | hairs and should be avoided. Especially if you have fragile /
         | curly hair. You can wash them with plain water or conditioner
         | instead.
         | 
         | Wait, what? I would love to see some supporting evidence for
         | all this.
        
           | oDot wrote:
           | Not research-backed, but you can google "Curly Girl Method"
           | for much of the reasoning, and probably many examples of
           | people who avoid shampoos to great success, so it's at least
           | true for some.
        
           | s1artibartfast wrote:
           | I think this is an example of overly pushing everything to
           | the demand of science.
           | 
           | It obviously depends on your body, diet, and microbiome.
           | 
           | There's no definitive answer like if Earth was balls around
           | the Sun. The answer is personal. Does that work for you or
           | not? What have you tried and what works and what doesn't
        
             | Lewton wrote:
             | I think the problem is that everyone knows "that person"
             | who thought they didn't need soap/shampoo etc. but it turns
             | out they just have a terrible sense of smell and are
             | deluded
             | 
             | Like the friend of mine who told me she never used shampoo
             | in which my immediate reaction was "no shit.."
             | 
             | On the flip side, I do have a close friend who admitted he
             | only showers every three days or so, and smells impeccable
             | (which is extra funny because he has anosmia)
        
           | coldtea wrote:
           | https://arstechnica.com/science/2016/04/mounting-data-
           | sugges....
           | 
           | Soap is a rather recent invention (the Romans didn't have it
           | until later in their Empire), and one that until 1-2
           | centuries ago people used sparringly. And yes, they did clean
           | themselves with bathing, even in medieval times, despite the
           | prevalent myths about those times.
           | 
           | Also, the last 80 years or so, after TV became popular soaps
           | and fancy shampoos have been marketed to death with BS
           | snakeoil claims. 99% of what you hear in those ads is bogus,
           | including claims about the efficacy of their fancy sounding
           | ingredients...
           | 
           | Might also want to check the book "Clean"
        
           | owlglass wrote:
           | Not research backed, but to add one data point, I bought into
           | the whole "I need a three-step skincare routine" trend (which
           | I think is positive, people should care for their skin as
           | they should any other organ). However, after trying ~5
           | different cleansers (varying in ingredients, lathering vs
           | non-lathering, and oil cleansing), I realized my acne is best
           | when I cleanse twice daily with water.
           | 
           | On the other hand, moisturizing and sunscreen has helped with
           | dryness and post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation from acne.
        
             | wazoox wrote:
             | Just in case: for many people with acne problems, changing
             | the pillowcase daily (or every other day, turning your
             | pillow over the second night) seems to make a clear
             | difference.
        
           | Nzen wrote:
           | I'm going to point at a company and product that I am aware
           | of, but have not personally experienced. AOBiome Therapudics
           | has a list of its published research, [0], on its website.
           | They helped develop the mother dirt body wash product, [1]
           | [2].
           | 
           | [0] https://www.aobiome.com/published-articles-and-papers/
           | 
           | [1] https://mightynest.com/shop/bath-body/skin-care/soaps-
           | bodywa...
           | 
           | [2] https://web.archive.org/web/20181116064007/https://mother
           | dir...
        
         | boesboes wrote:
         | You probably stink tbh..
        
           | Nesco wrote:
           | Not if you shower yourself multiple times a day, trim your
           | body hair and rub the "smelly" parts (ex your armpits) with a
           | clean sponge
        
         | axiom92 wrote:
         | > until your microbiome is able to handle all the waste / oil
         | that your skin produces
         | 
         | Or maybe until _you_ stop noticing the smell? Ask a friend
         | perhaps.
        
           | Nesco wrote:
           | I indeed did asked friends. They couldn't tell the
           | difference. That's why I stocked to it. However I indeed need
           | to wash myself more often, especially when the temperature is
           | kinda hot
        
             | axiom92 wrote:
             | I see. I wonder if you've been phrasing this (tricky)
             | question correctly.
             | 
             | For example, if you've been asking "I don't smell bad
             | right?? I smell _great_ , right!?" you're unlikely to get
             | honest replies.
             | 
             | Reminds me of "The Mom Test" [1]. The book has a few tricks
             | that can help with asking tough questions and receiving an
             | honest feedback.
             | 
             | [1] https://www.momtestbook.com/
        
               | Nesco wrote:
               | I asked friends which I know to be brutally honest as I
               | was both skeptical and worried.
               | 
               | And you indeed smell if you don't shower two times a day
               | without soap and deodorant.
               | 
               | And even by showering two times a day you _will_ smell
               | the first month until the skin regulates its oil
               | production and the microbiome is able to handle skin
               | wastes.
               | 
               | Great book btw.
        
         | beepbooptheory wrote:
         | Is Dr. Bronners a good one?
        
         | thepasswordis wrote:
         | No man you definitely need soap.
        
           | bryanlarsen wrote:
           | If you only shower once a day, you need soap. If you're
           | willing to shower multiple times a day, you don't need soap.
        
             | [deleted]
        
             | notadev wrote:
             | What would multiple showed a day look like? Morning, post-
             | lunch, before bed? How long are the showers and do you use
             | any soap at all?
        
               | Nesco wrote:
               | I only used soap on my hands and bottom. Usually I shower
               | in the morning, then after sport if I am doing a sport
               | session and then before going to bed. Showers take far
               | less time as you don't use soap, however you need to use
               | mild to hot water as cold water won't wash anything
               | without soap
        
               | bryanlarsen wrote:
               | I shower before any type of socialization (including
               | work), and after any type of exercise. That's multiple
               | times a day and similar to most westerners.
               | 
               | The big thing some people don't do is shower after work
               | before going out for the evening. Women might be able to
               | get away with that, but if you're a man and you
               | occasionally sweat you can't, soap or not.
        
             | Nesco wrote:
             | Exactly: I shower often two times a day. And that is when I
             | avoid sport
        
               | secondcoming wrote:
               | That's bizarre to me
        
       | francisofascii wrote:
       | Wrong in thinking that being a nice guy and always doing what
       | women/partner want would make them desire me more. Robert
       | glover's book was eye opening.
        
       | xyzelement wrote:
       | I used to assume the religious people were missing something and
       | missing out on the latest and greatest.
       | 
       | Now I am seeing that often it's us the non-religious that have
       | lost something of value and are trying to replace it with things
       | that don't work as well.
        
         | joemazerino wrote:
         | Amen to that.
        
         | karaterobot wrote:
         | Same. I met so many religious people who were smarter, more
         | widely read, and wiser than me that my childhood prejudices
         | about them had to be drastically re-evaluated, even though my
         | fundamental position on the existence of God is unchanged.
         | Faith is now on an entirely separate axis from intelligence or
         | wisdom for me.
        
         | viggity wrote:
         | You've discovered a (large) group of people who have torn down
         | Chesterton's Fence without fully appreciating why it was there
         | to begin with. Same with people who "smash the
         | (patriarchy|capitalism)", they end up extremely discontent to
         | realize that other things end up filling the vacuum and they're
         | often worse, much worse.
         | 
         | https://wiki.lesswrong.com/wiki/Chesterton%27s_Fence
        
         | laura_g wrote:
         | There are a lot of things religion provides that modern society
         | is really dismal at providing: community, care, socialization
         | across class/career lines, relationships with people who live
         | near you, a support system for sick/hurting people, and other
         | benefits
         | 
         | The thing is, none of those are innately tied to religion.
         | We've abandoned churches for what I feel are largely good
         | reasons, but we haven't found something else to fill that void
         | in community and care. We're more insular, more online, less of
         | us know our neighbours or really have a stake in our community
         | welfare in the same way. I don't think the solution is going
         | back to religion.
        
           | xyzelement wrote:
           | Thanks for the response - yes and no.
           | 
           | I think you are right in that _in theory_ you could have
           | "all that stuff" sans religion. And in fact I think Atheism
           | in the boomer generation benefited from cultural inertia -
           | like, you could say you don't belong to a religion but still
           | marry, have kids, participate in community etc simply because
           | that's what everyone else (by the virtue of their religion)
           | was doing around you.
           | 
           | But today it seems like critical mass is elsewhere, and it
           | seems like the religious folks now have a huge advantage over
           | everyone else in terms of marriage, family formation,
           | community and maybe even mental health. So while in theory
           | it's possible, it seems like in practice all of those things
           | declined among the non-religious, just perhaps with a lag of
           | a generation.
           | 
           | The reason I think it might make sense to reengage with
           | religion is the crux of this question: does life have a
           | point, a meaning, etc. Not even "what" the point is but does
           | it exist at all. The idea that the universe is a total
           | accident and nothing is relevant takes you in a certain
           | direction in life and society, while the idea of "there's
           | meaning and purpose" in another.
           | 
           | I think it's hard to anchor your life in the value of meaning
           | without logically accepting a creator of that meaning.
           | 
           | So I think there's an element of faith - either you chose to
           | believe there's meaning or you chose to believe there isn't,
           | everything else is implied by that choice of belief.
        
         | HDThoreaun wrote:
         | I really wish I could be religious. I know that the community
         | and meaning it provides would bring me a lot of happiness, I
         | just can't look past it being untrue.
        
           | Starwatcher2001 wrote:
           | You might consider humanism. It provides purpose and
           | community, without requiring a deity.
        
         | psychomugs wrote:
         | "There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships.
         | The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling
         | reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type
         | thing to worship-be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH or the Wiccan
         | Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable
         | set of ethical principles-is that pretty much anything else you
         | worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if
         | they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will
         | never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth.
         | Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will
         | always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will
         | die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one
         | level, we all know this stuff already. It's been codified as
         | myths, proverbs, cliches, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of
         | every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth up
         | front in daily consciousness." - DFW
         | 
         | Academic science resembles religion with its dogmas, nepotism,
         | bureaucracies, and favor-currying shibboleths. Deep learning in
         | particular is akin to modern alchemy [1].
         | 
         | [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7psGHgatGM
        
           | rubicon33 wrote:
           | Everyone is always quick to tell you why you need to be
           | religious, and I don't even disagree with most of the
           | reasons.
           | 
           | What's frustrating is nobody tells you how to reverse a life
           | of agnosticism bordering on atheism, and suddenly be
           | catholic,Buddhist,etc
        
             | hooverd wrote:
             | I prefer the Buddhist interpretation of the afterlife to
             | the Catholic one. Hell is temporary vs eternal, and
             | contingent on not being a monstrous asshole, not your
             | relationship with god.
        
               | svieira wrote:
               | Speaking as a Catholic, the eternity of hell is based on
               | your willingness to be a monster rather than serve the
               | one who is the source of all good. Which is as horrible
               | an opinion as one could have.
        
             | DoingSomeThings wrote:
             | Further. Religion requires something to assent and belong
             | to. That will always be a choice to some degree.
             | 
             | As someone who is formerly deeply Christian and left for
             | intellectual/theological reasons. I miss the communal
             | binding of organized worship. But reversing or getting back
             | to that place requires either 1) letting go of intellectual
             | integrity, or 2) finding a group who is similarly
             | interested in dispassionate community organizing without
             | supernatural theology.
             | 
             | The 1st has proven personally impossible. The 2nd seems
             | very unlikely. All the attempts of secular church I have
             | seen never pick up steam and trail off over time. Thus, the
             | person who sees religious association as a broad good is
             | left without a natural landing spot.
        
             | svieira wrote:
             | "Suddenly" can only happen with grace. One day at a time,
             | one moment at a time, searching for Him until He calls
             | "Zacchaeus come down" (Luke 19:1-10) is the only way we can
             | dispose ourselves for that moment.
        
             | psychomugs wrote:
             | It sounds similar to the hypothetical what-happens-the-day-
             | after-capitalism; those who want - or at least don't not
             | want - struggle to think of the pragmatics of what it looks
             | like.
             | 
             | I wouldn't say I'm a born-again-whatever - I usually
             | describe myself as an optimistic spiritual agnostic - but I
             | think a combination of broadening my horizons physically
             | (geographically moving around) and mentally (actually
             | paying attention in grad school to the liberal arts that I
             | thumbed my nose at as an undergrad) and getting hit
             | repeatedly with how little I/we actually know about
             | anything has let me inch away from the cynical
             | a(nti)religiosity and submit to something larger than me.
             | 
             | This has also given me a better appreciation of the books I
             | (was supposed to have) read in high school; in hindsight, I
             | don't think there's any way many students could draw much
             | meaning from them without having their own life
             | experiences.
        
         | vlunkr wrote:
         | As a religious person who has deeply considered leaving it,
         | I've never understood the arrogance of some atheists. For me it
         | was disturbing to try to internalize the ideas that the
         | universe is uncaring, that good and evil are made up, that your
         | consciousness is basically like the contents of a stick of RAM
         | that will vanish when it loses its power source.
         | 
         | Even the original "God is dead" quotes from Nietzsche sound
         | mournful, not arrogant. From what I understand he was trying to
         | convey the same thing you are: that by turning away from
         | religion, we are undoing many of the basic moral underpinnings
         | of our culture. Now we have to rebuild them with something new,
         | and quite obviously, people can't agree on one set of ideas.
        
           | The_Colonel wrote:
           | > For me it was disturbing to try to internalize the ideas
           | that the universe is uncaring, that good and evil are made
           | up, that your consciousness is basically like the contents of
           | a stick of RAM that will vanish when it loses its power
           | source.
           | 
           | How is that arrogant? It seems humble to me to acknowledge
           | that I as an individual and a society on the whole don't
           | actually mean much.
        
             | vlunkr wrote:
             | I'm not saying that accepting those facts is arrogant, but
             | that there is a subset of insufferable atheists that try to
             | belittle religious people.
        
           | LouisSayers wrote:
           | > For me it was disturbing to try to internalize the ideas
           | that the universe is uncaring, that good and evil are made
           | up, that your consciousness is basically like the contents of
           | a stick of RAM that will vanish when it loses its power
           | source.
           | 
           | Everyone of us wants to feel significant, loved, and giving
           | up on an idea that we live forever, that there's always
           | someone external looking out for us etc is an emotionally
           | difficult process to go through.
           | 
           | But that's what personal growth is. It doesn't mean that you
           | go nuts and do crazy shit - consequences exist. What it means
           | is that your perspective changes and you become OK with just
           | being you, and taking a journey on a speeding rock through
           | space.
           | 
           | People think that you lose when you give up religion, which
           | is in part true - but there is also a lot to be gained - in
           | personal development, seeing life from a different
           | perspective and appreciating the limited time we have before
           | donating our atoms back to the universe.
        
           | timeon wrote:
           | For me believing in omnipotent and good god seems arrogant as
           | well. Is good that some people were born disabled?
        
             | vlunkr wrote:
             | Sure, anyone can be arrogant about anything, I'm just
             | saying I don't understand it.
        
           | 13415 wrote:
           | Just like some atheists need to the corresponding lesson
           | about theists, it's worth taking a step back and remind
           | yourself that not everybody was raised in a religious way.
           | 
           | Don't forget that to some of us religious stories contain
           | nothing of particular interest or are similar to ancient
           | fairy tales, and the history of various churches and
           | religions is a mere part of the general human history of
           | power struggles between elites in various countries. When you
           | haven't been raised in religious ways, you feel no guilt
           | about making blasphemous remarks and do not fear the wrath of
           | supposed supernatural entities.
        
         | Taylor_OD wrote:
         | Community is the main thing religious provides. But in
         | exchange, you typically have to believe in some type of sky
         | magician. It's too bad because I enjoyed the community aspect
         | of religion growing up but never really was able to buy into
         | the sky magician part.
        
         | spacedcowboy wrote:
         | I don't think they're missing out. I just think they're
         | deluded.
         | 
         | It's not the worst thing in the world to be deluded - and
         | frankly I just don't care what they do and say unless it starts
         | to impact me and mine. It's not religion per se I dislike -
         | people are free to live their lives as they see fit, it's the
         | control-structure scam of an organized religion that reels in
         | the gullible, the poor, the disadvantages, those who believe
         | what they're being told. _That_ is disgusting, IM(ns)HO.
         | 
         | These megapastors (and even not-so-megapastors) bilking their
         | flock to pay for the latest Learjet... I think they believe in
         | religion as much as I do, tbh.
        
           | ralmidani wrote:
           | You're using the most extreme example to condemn essentially
           | all organized religion. Many religious scholars and preachers
           | live modest lives, sometimes even by choice.
           | 
           | Of course "religious" folks who tell people they should
           | simply endure, rather than resist, injustice and inequality
           | are disgusting. But sometimes despite your best efforts, the
           | bad guys still win (temporarily).
           | 
           | Telling people that this life is not the end-all-be-all is
           | only manipulative if it's meant to make people passive. And I
           | know that not everyone informs people about the afterlife out
           | of malice.
        
         | nerddadnear40 wrote:
         | Most of us suffer a kind of nihilism that mankind has never
         | really faced before due to modern science. Materialistic
         | understanding of the world has broken our ability to recognize
         | patterns of being that were once obvious to our ancestors. They
         | would find a modern atheist and fundamentalist equally blind in
         | these areas as they saw the reality of the world much more
         | alive and predictable over vast time periods than we do now and
         | they had the language to understand it.
         | 
         | John Vervaeke and the Pageau Brothers are working hard on this
         | front. I'd highly recommend John's Meaning Crisis Videos,
         | Mathieu Pageau's book on Cosmic Symbolism and Johnathan's
         | educational videos.
         | 
         | If you are new to this, it can be a bit mind bending, but it's
         | duly needed in our time.
         | 
         | https://www.meaningcrisis.co/all-transcripts/
         | 
         | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIJuIN6kUcU
         | 
         | https://www.amazon.com/Language-Creation-Symbolism-Genesis-C...
         | 
         | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtmLCK1keFI&t=1874s
        
         | hbn wrote:
         | I was raised in a Christian community and went to a private
         | Christian school all the way until graduation, though really
         | stopped believing all the stuff by 11th grade or so. And it's
         | wild the parallels I see between the modern political climate
         | and religion. It really seems that in the process of masses
         | leaving the church, they've gone on to adopt the exact same
         | behaviors but worshipping other things - government,
         | advertising, virtue signalling to show you're the most "on
         | board" with the movement. They've wrapped around to enforcing
         | censorship of art and being against free speech just like the
         | Christians did when they were in charge.
         | 
         | But I recall most people in the actual church at least had some
         | form of a community, and many seemed happy and selfless. This
         | modern church that pretends it isn't a church only breeds
         | toxicity, selfishness, vitriol, and depression. Everyone is
         | holding each other hostage, knowing that if anyone steps out of
         | line and questions the status quo they'll be burned in the
         | village square as an example to whoever might do it next. The
         | actual church community I was in was more accepting in almost
         | all regards than this new system.
         | 
         | I honestly wish a lot of these people would just find a normal
         | religion. It's way easier to get along with normal religious
         | people than the types people being getting hooked on these new
         | systems of thought.
        
           | FredPret wrote:
           | I think the cat's out of the bag - there's no sky friend
           | looking out for us. There's no going back now for most
           | people.
           | 
           | This has been replaced by ersatz religions, but I think we
           | should start explicitly worshipping the concept of
           | civilization and progress. From a certain point of view,
           | civilization is a cybernetic organism that encompasses all of
           | us and gives us all sorts of neat things.
        
             | titzer wrote:
             | > replaced by ersatz religions
             | 
             | There's no doubt about that. Humans have a very strong
             | religious bent that is bred into us by evolution selecting
             | for motivated, tenacious people who fight to survive but
             | whose brains can't stop patterning-matching, perceiving
             | threats and agency behind things, and performing rituals.
             | Not to mention, organizing around common beliefs. Without
             | various sky-friend myths, we organize around other myths.
             | Thankfully we have good science now, but that's
             | unfortunately often less sexy (and more difficult) than
             | pseudo-science and fads.
        
             | throwaway4aday wrote:
             | > there's no sky friend looking out for us
             | 
             | That's much too simplistic and isn't going to convince
             | anyone of the point you're trying to make.
             | 
             | > his has been replaced by ersatz religions, but I think we
             | should start explicitly worshipping the concept of
             | civilization and progress
             | 
             | We've done this multiple times before and always with
             | disastrous or at least dissipative results. The technical
             | term for this is "cult" and more specifically "idolatry".
             | There are very good reasons why this has generally been
             | proscribed by monotheistic religions.
             | 
             | > civilization is a cybernetic organism that encompasses
             | all of us
             | 
             | Saying civilization is cybernetic in that it consists of
             | feedback loops that keep it in a stable condition is
             | stretching it. Perhaps a nation could be cybernetic since
             | it contains a variety of channels through which this
             | information can flow in both directions but a civilization
             | as a supranational system has some very tight bottlenecks
             | that would impede such functioning.
             | 
             | > gives us all sorts of neat things
             | 
             | It does not. People do that and the things are not so much
             | given as they are bargained for whether with money or by
             | signing on to a social contract or adopting cultural
             | values.
        
             | svieira wrote:
             | > I think we should start explicitly worshipping the
             | concept of civilization and progress
             | 
             | Isn't this exactly what the French Revolution's first wave,
             | the Nazis, the Soviets, and the Maoists all did? Or are you
             | suggesting something more explicitly Hegelian like the
             | religion of "The sign of the T" from _Brave New World_
             | (though that religion was focused on production not
             | transformation)?
        
               | sovietswag wrote:
               | An interesting idea from the Soviet Union:
               | https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/God-Building
        
             | svieira wrote:
             | "Progress means getting nearer to the place you want to be.
             | And if you have taken a wrong turn, then to go forward does
             | not get you any nearer. If you are on the wrong road,
             | progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the
             | right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest
             | is the most progressive man."
             | 
             | ~ C. S. Lewis
        
           | watwut wrote:
           | Genuinely, you come across as someone who does not interact
           | with non believers and have attitude about them shaped
           | primary by hostile media. Starting from assumption that most
           | people who left Christianity joined "movement" which seems to
           | be mostly euphemism for culture war you are fully into.
        
           | lockhouse wrote:
           | Spot on! Science that can't be questioned isn't science it's
           | dogma. The whole Dr. Fauci worship culture and "trust the
           | science" that emerged during the pandemic felt way too much
           | like a religious cult.
        
           | marcosdumay wrote:
           | No only are people worshiping dishonest politicians, but
           | since radical people don't abandon their ideas, the churches
           | have gone through a selection process where all but the most
           | radical of them weakened.
           | 
           | We have lost something very important on the conversion of
           | our society to laic values. We have gained very important
           | things too, so I don't think the best correction is to
           | reverse anything, but we have some work to do on those things
           | that we lost.
        
           | pjc50 wrote:
           | A certain amount of this conformism is human nature .. but a
           | lot of people, especially anyone queer, was _rejected_ by the
           | church rather than left. I suspect you 're not seeing this
           | because you're not in the reject category.
           | 
           | The failure mode of churches (and, yes, some of the more
           | optimistic commune arrangements) is toxic positivity:
           | everything is great, and anyone who doesn't agree is going to
           | be dealt with. This makes it extremely difficult to report
           | when someone has been raping adults or children.
        
           | tastyfreeze wrote:
           | You might like Jordan Peterson's podcast. He talks often
           | about the human need to believe in something outside of
           | ourselves. This need can be satisfied by many things, not all
           | of them good.
           | 
           | Dennis Prager is pretty good on this front too. But, he
           | thinks that religion is a necessity for a happy life.
           | 
           | I don't follow any faith. There are too many religions for
           | any one to be "correct". But I do see religion as a good
           | moral guide, particularly in times of hardship.
        
             | alphabettsy wrote:
             | I personally wouldn't recommend listening to either of
             | these guys.
             | 
             | Peterson at least attempts to offer balanced. Prager is a
             | religious quack.
        
               | tastyfreeze wrote:
               | Just because somebody believes in a religion doesn't mean
               | they have nothing to teach you. As far as I can tell
               | through the internet, both are good honest people.
               | 
               | I don't think that it is an overstatement to say that
               | Peterson alone has helped millions improve their lives
               | through his books, talks, and interviews.
        
           | Lewton wrote:
           | This has way more to do with the kind of person who leans
           | areligious in a religious society than being areligious
           | itself. In a religious society, most normal people will be
           | religious
           | 
           | In more atheistic countries, the religious people are the
           | ones that are harder to get along with, as normal people are
           | a lot less religious.
        
           | hooverd wrote:
           | What are "normal religious people"? I think religion is
           | really being used as a stand-in for Christian here.
        
           | scns wrote:
           | Tribalism is at the core of our species i think. With
           | metaphysical "explanations" or scientific ones.
        
           | hprotagonist wrote:
           | > It really seems that in the process of masses leaving the
           | church, they've gone on to adopt the exact same behaviors but
           | worshipping other things - government, advertising, virtue
           | signalling to show you're the most "on board" with the
           | movement.
           | 
           |  _People serve these idols, and many others, to give meaning
           | to their lives, to justify their existence. They are afraid
           | of death--that is, not only physical death but everything
           | which does or seems to militate against life: alienation,
           | lack of identity, frustration, pain, meaninglessness. And so
           | they grasp, as it were, after aspects of life which seem to
           | promise freedom from some form of death, and serve them as
           | idols. But what they are really serving is death, for the
           | fear of death is the power behind all idolatry. And yet, as
           | we have seen, idolatry can only lead to death in one form or
           | another, to violence and dehumanization and also to the
           | degradation or destruction of what is idolized.
           | 
           | It is a distinctive mark of the biblical mind to discern that
           | human history is a drama of death and resurrection and not,
           | as religionists of all sorts suppose, a simplistic conflict
           | of evil vs. good in an abstract sense. For what is "good" is,
           | basically, what is good for man and creation--in other words,
           | what is life-giving, life-preserving, life-perfecting. God,
           | the Living One, is the author of life, he is on the side of
           | life...That which is truly evil is that which thwarts life.
           | And sin is any denial or rejection of the gift of life; an
           | offense against God who bestows the gift. But the wages of
           | sin is death, not by some arbitrary decree on God's part, but
           | because sin by its nature is possessed of death, anti-life,
           | death-dealing, both to the sinner and in the various kinds of
           | death it occasions in the world._
           | 
           | You're probably in the right head space to appreciate
           | "Impostors of God: Inquiries Into Favorite Idols" by William
           | Stringfellow (1969).
           | 
           | Cryptonomicon is another good one, though far less
           | prophetic/scholarly:
           | 
           |  _To translate it into UNIX system administration terms
           | (Randy 's fundamental metaphor for just about everything),
           | the post modern, politically correct atheists were like
           | people who had suddenly found themselves in charge of a big
           | and unfathomably complex computer system (viz, society) with
           | no documentation or instructions of any kind, and so whose
           | only way to keep the thing running was to invent and enforce
           | certain rules with a kind of neo-Puritanical rigor, because
           | they were at a loss to deal with any deviations from what
           | they saw as the norm. Whereas people who were wired into a
           | church were like UNIX system administrators who, while they
           | might not understand everything, at least had some
           | documentation, some FAQs and How tos and README files,
           | providing some guidance on what to do when things got out of
           | whack. They were, in other words, capable of displaying
           | adaptability._
        
           | lelanthran wrote:
           | Meet the new Puritans, same as the old Puritans.
        
           | alphabettsy wrote:
           | > It really seems that in the process of masses leaving the
           | church, they've gone on to adopt the exact same behaviors but
           | worshipping other things - government, advertising, virtue
           | signalling to show you're the most "on board" with the
           | movement.
           | 
           | I think that's because these things aren't from church,
           | they're part of human nature.
           | 
           | One of the churches I went to as a child was toxic, the other
           | wasn't. The religious community isn't immune to human nature.
           | 
           | 50-60 years ago the country was much more religious and you'd
           | encounter people saying they'd never let their child marry a
           | democrat and vice-versa according to my grandparents. To
           | them, things are mostly better and what we have is the
           | appearance of greater division.
        
             | titzer wrote:
             | > 50-60 years ago the country was much more religious
             | 
             | I think religion adapts and changes; religion was more
             | mainstream, less toxic, and uniform than it is now. The
             | median person is probably less religious (in terms of
             | sticking to an established religion) but the upper 1/3 of
             | the spectrum is _more_ religious, in that they believe more
             | extreme things, with less evidence, and are less likely to
             | compromise. The past 40 years of the evangelical movement,
             | which has been coopted by the conservative movement, has
             | been extremely polarizing.
        
               | petsfed wrote:
               | I'm not sure that it was any less toxic, just that the
               | background level of toxicity has decreased.
               | 
               | My mother clearly remembers being called out in front of
               | her church for the unforgivable sin of attending a school
               | dance, and that was in the mid-60s. Don't forget _why_
               | the Southern Baptists broke away from the Baptists.
        
             | hprotagonist wrote:
             | > 50-60 years ago the country was much more religious
             | 
             | and 100 years ago, much less! at most 40% of the US
             | regularly attended church services in the 1910s.
        
               | adrianmonk wrote:
               | Could some of that be due to the shift from a rural to
               | urban society? If getting to church requires taking a
               | horse and buggy 10 miles down dirt roads, then most weeks
               | you might have a DIY religious observance at home on the
               | farm instead. If you live in a town where you can walk to
               | a neighborhood church, you're probably more likely to
               | make it a regular habit.
        
               | jlawson wrote:
               | I think the 1910 figure might have more to do with
               | practical concerns. When you have no car and live on a
               | farm far from anything, as a huge number of people did
               | back then, you can't regularly get to church even if you
               | wanted to. So I wouldn't interpret that number as a clean
               | measure of religiosity.
        
         | ralmidani wrote:
         | I was born into a Muslim family and have remained a Muslim my
         | entire life, but I have had ups and downs in how observant I
         | have been. I've had periods where I was less enthusiastic than
         | my parents. On the flip side, I've flirted with extremism a few
         | times and even started alienating my immediate family members.
         | Now, over 40 years old, I feel like I've found the right
         | balance: a strong relationship with God, without being seen as
         | obnoxious or dangerous. It feels amazing both personally and
         | when subtly sharing what I believe is the most important factor
         | in having a happy, fulfilling life.
         | 
         | Interestingly, Muslims believe most messengers began their
         | missions at or around 40, so maybe everything before is
         | "formative years". The one known exception is Jesus Christ,
         | whom we believe was raised to God at 33 but still has a huge
         | role to play in shaping the world.
        
         | eatsyourtacos wrote:
         | The real question is it better to lie to yourself and believe
         | in something that is simply not true? Or to be true to yourself
         | and deal with the loneliness that is existence.
         | 
         | To me the choice to clear- be true to yourself. In that sense,
         | organized religion has no place in this world.
        
         | chasing wrote:
         | Not all non-religious people suffer from some kind of spiritual
         | or ethical deficiency.
         | 
         | I get saddened when religious storytelling fills people with
         | fairy tales and arbitrary hate and makes them incapable of
         | seeing things about existence that are truly beautiful.
        
           | username3 wrote:
           | What are examples of things about existence that are truly
           | beautiful?
        
             | Night_Thastus wrote:
             | Not the person who you replied to, however:
             | 
             | I'm not sure exactly how to explain this, but the seemingly
             | infinite level of "detail" or "texture" or "complexity" to
             | our universe. No matter how small or large you go, there's
             | always some patterns, some structures, some details to be
             | seen. There's always some other perspective or way of
             | grouping and organizing to reveal new information. The
             | complexity is infinitely deep, wide and layered. Some of
             | that I think is inherent, and some of it is what we create
             | as living entities - which is a great privilege we enjoy.
             | 
             | Take a white painted wall made of drywall. Relatively
             | uninteresting most of the time. But the potential amount of
             | information about it is almost infinite:
             | 
             | * What are all the layers of construction needed to make
             | it?
             | 
             | * What did it cost? For every cent of that money, where did
             | it eventually go? All of them can be tracked from its
             | creation until the end of the currency.
             | 
             | * What people designed the methods to construct it? What
             | were their lives like, what led to them doing so?
             | 
             | * What does the surface look like if you were to look at it
             | at 10x, 100x, 10,000x, etc. scale? How does all of that
             | structure change when it's under pressure? Or wet? Or on
             | fire? Or crushed? Or at different temperatures?
             | 
             | * What does it look like as molecules of air bounce off of
             | it and it insulates the room?
             | 
             | * What are its physical properties? What does it look like
             | in all the different wavelengths of light?
             | 
             | * What is it history, from the retrieval of the materials
             | to its final destruction some time in the future? What is
             | its eventual fate? Will it be destroyed to make room for a
             | newer building? Or in a war? A natural disaster?
             | 
             | * What people were near it? What were they doing and why?
             | Office workers? Secretaries? Programmers? Nurses? Was it
             | separating people who were friends or hated each other?
             | 
             | * What's the history of the design of the pigment used on
             | the wall? What previous pigments did it replace and why?
             | 
             | * If you look at the pattern of bumps and valleys on the
             | surface, does it match some existing pattern? What
             | mathematical formula would most closely re-create the
             | surface variations? What's the closest match to that
             | pattern anywhere in the universe, at any scale? Maybe
             | there's some sand on a beach or a cluster of stars that
             | when viewed from _just_ the right angle matches the pits
             | and valleys on the wall.
             | 
             | * What does the surface feel like? Not just for one person,
             | but for _all_ humans? If you were to take every single
             | human who has ever lived and let them feel the wall, what
             | would happen? Which ones would tell jokes? Which ones would
             | remember something from their past? Which would have some
             | interesting specialist perspective on it? Which ones would
             | like it? Hate it? How would they all describe it?
             | 
             | We only have access to a tiny fraction of that information.
             | But it's all there! You could spend an eternity studying a
             | single blade of grass and it's relation to everything else
             | and all of the history. There's always some new abstraction
             | or perspective or way to look at everything.
        
       | pm90 wrote:
       | Not going to a therapist because of fear of social stigma.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | prometheus76 wrote:
       | This is for people who lift weights. Do you get calluses along
       | the pads of your hand, just below your fingers? You are probably
       | gripping the bar incorrectly. This also applies to pull-ups/chin-
       | ups grip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OK-S3ZJZxQ.
       | 
       | TL;DR: grip the bar across the joint at the bottom of your
       | fingers instead of across the middle of your palm. This doesn't
       | apply to bench pressing (a push), but applies to all moves that
       | involve pulling/lifting the bar.
        
         | hbn wrote:
         | I get these from deadlifting. I think I intuitively know what
         | he's saying, but I have small hands (for a man of my height),
         | and my grip is pretty weak so I'm already using the thinner
         | 35lb bar. I do mixed grip, left hand over + right hand under,
         | and gripping it the first way adds a bit of friction as the bar
         | tries to rotate out of my hand.
         | 
         | I don't know, maybe I'll try this next time I deadlift but I
         | feel like it would just weaken my already weak grip.
        
           | prometheus76 wrote:
           | Practice hanging from a pull-up bar for time (i.e. practice
           | hanging from a pull-up bar for longer and longer periods of
           | time, using the grip shown in the video) if you want to build
           | up this type of grip. You can also practice by putting bags
           | of rice or a gallon of milk (or two) into a bag, then holding
           | the handles across your second knuckle for time.
           | 
           | Grip is the main way we interact with the world, so it's
           | worth training it. Also, grip strength is the most reliable
           | predictor we have found for life expectancy. (i.e. higher
           | grip strength means higher life expectancy). It could be
           | correlation/causation fallacy, but I have decided to just
           | assume it's worth training it for all the other benefits that
           | having good grip strength brings.
        
           | prometheus76 wrote:
           | I forgot to add in my first response to your comment: it's
           | worth learning the hook grip to get that additional
           | "friction" you're looking for.
           | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMA2SqaDgG8
        
           | prometheus76 wrote:
           | And here's one more video that teaches the hook grip for
           | people with small hands:
           | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKQXkZbPzdQ
        
         | dirtyid wrote:
         | Good for callus prevention, but probably bad for actual serious
         | "pulling". I remember this video from 10+ years ago, when
         | powerlifters were still doing the alternate grip for DL. Now
         | more or less everyone hooks and depending on hand size, you
         | need bar much lower on pads to have extra finger length wrap
         | around bar for thumb to securely hook. Smaller the hands the
         | lower on palm you need for good hook, every extra mm you get on
         | that thumb counts. Which makes a huge different depending on
         | bar diameter, typically 25-32mm where women bar thinnest, then
         | deadlift bar, men standard, then garbage cheap commercial bars.
         | If you have big hands it might not matter much, but
         | medium/small hands could be pulling 100s of lbs less. That
         | said, it's not dogmatic GOMAD tier of bad advice from Rippetoe,
         | this is pretty good advice to get newbies especially women to
         | start lifting, along with everyone wearing tights now to
         | prevent shin scrapes. Ultimately, if you want to pull weight
         | fast, you have to hook and heavy weight over 100s of reps will
         | roll in hands and form calluses anyway, IMO best to invest in a
         | nice razor pedicure shaver and keep up with hand health.
        
         | sedeki wrote:
         | I recently started lifting weights. I just bought gloves. I
         | like this tip though - thanks.
        
           | prometheus76 wrote:
           | I would highly recommend not using gloves. They reduce the
           | feedback you have on the bar and can lead to entrenching bad
           | habits with regard to grip. Chalk and the technique in the
           | video are a time-tested approach.
        
           | dhd415 wrote:
           | In the theme of the OP and by way of response, I've been
           | lifting weights for decades but only in the last couple years
           | realized that gloves were detrimental to lifting. They add a
           | layer of material around the bar that increases its
           | circumference and thereby increases the effort required to
           | grip it for pulling movements. They reduce your tactile
           | connection to the bar which is important for engaging
           | secondary muscles in certain lifts (e.g., lats in the
           | overhead press) as you progress in strength and for very
           | technical lifts such as the clean. The only time hand
           | protection may be beneficial is for movements in which your
           | hand rotates relative to a bar. That is never the case for a
           | (properly performed) barbell exercise but may be the case in
           | certain gymnastic movements on a pullup bar and in that case,
           | you might consider gymnastics grips.
        
         | automatic6131 wrote:
         | Related note, if you lift enough weight - even with this
         | technique - you'll still get callouses. But this is good
         | nonetheless.
        
       | j_m_b wrote:
       | Not sure if I was doing it wrong, but I recently started putting
       | the pizza out of the oven and into the frozen pizza box it came
       | in. It's much cleaner!
        
         | high_byte wrote:
         | my cousin taught me that frying cold pizza in a pan is 1000x
         | better than microwaving. I could only think of the hundreds of
         | microwaved pizzas I've lost the opportunity to do this to. it's
         | even better than when you just order it!
        
         | bruce343434 wrote:
         | I can't understand what you're saying, do you not bake the
         | pizza and keep it packaged(??) Or do you bake it then put it
         | back into packaging(how do you eat it?)
        
       | FigurativeVoid wrote:
       | Not getting my dog professionally trained.
       | 
       | I spent the money to send him to a proper board and train, and it
       | was life changing. Our relationship is better. He is happier and
       | less stressed. I was able to take him off sedatives. Plus it's
       | cool to have a dog with perfect recall that I can take anywhere
       | without worrying.
       | 
       | If you can afford it, I can't recommend finding a reputable
       | balanced trainer more highly.
        
         | solarmist wrote:
         | This is interesting. What part of the curriculum do you think
         | made the difference?
         | 
         | I feel like this would only be half a solution. That, to work
         | as a pair, you would need some amount of training as well. To
         | better understand your dog's signals to you and know how to
         | respond appropriately.
        
           | FigurativeVoid wrote:
           | > What part of the curriculum made the difference.
           | 
           | I think the big difference is in three parts.
           | 
           | First, they are doing the training all day. I simply don't
           | have the time.
           | 
           | Second, the balanced training methodology adds consequences
           | as well as rewards. This is a far more effective methodology.
           | It is what people use to train working K9s like attack dogs
           | and the like.
           | 
           | The last part is mindset. I have a working dog, granted it is
           | a Corgi, and he wants to be working. Instead of making him
           | "be good," I am giving him jobs throughout the day that
           | reward him.
           | 
           | > That, to work as a pair, you would need some amount of
           | training as well.
           | 
           | You would be correct. I got pretty significant training the
           | day I took him home (about 3 hours). After that, we had a few
           | follow hour-long ups. There they show you the commands and
           | behaviors the dog learned, how to interpret there body
           | language, and how to extend them at home.
        
             | solarmist wrote:
             | Sounds great. How did you choose what kind of training to
             | do?
             | 
             | Also, what kind of jobs do you give to him?
        
               | FigurativeVoid wrote:
               | My partner at the time had lovely dog that was VERY
               | scared of other dogs. He would become very aggressive.
               | She ended up finding a place in southern Ohio called The
               | balanced corner[1]. They seem to do great work.
               | 
               | This inspired me to find a similar place near me. I went
               | to a place in Northern Ohio called Boss K9[2].
               | 
               | > Also, what kind of jobs do you give to him?
               | 
               | We try and make everything a job. Our training sessions,
               | even place time. Sitting still for a reward is actually
               | really hard for a dog, even tiring. So we make that time
               | rewarded as well.
               | 
               | This leads to a more structured life for him, which is
               | good.
               | 
               | If you are interested in this sort of training, I would
               | contact Boss k9. The owner will help you find what to
               | look for.
               | 
               | - [1] https://www.facebook.com/haleyhowessoundhounds/
               | (sorry, but it only looks like they have facebook?)
               | 
               | - [2] https://www.bossk9cle.com/
        
       | high_byte wrote:
       | such a fun thread. I started reading when there were 600
       | comments, I only managed to read a few and now there are 900. but
       | I'm learning a lot! I even improved my shoe tying skills!
        
       | katspaugh wrote:
       | Pronouncing "February" with an r after the b.
        
         | _da_ wrote:
         | Either way is correct.
         | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/February#Pronunciation
        
       | hbn wrote:
       | Not really "wrong" but at some point in the last couple years I
       | was using my microwave, putting something in for a minute, and
       | for that I've always input 1:00 but suddenly I realized how
       | obvious it was that I can just be inputting 60.
       | 
       | As long as you can easily modulo the time, this works for the
       | range 1 minute (60) to 1 minute 39 seconds (99). Technically you
       | could also do this for times like 2:65 instead of 3:05 but at
       | that point you're not saving a keystroke. And on most microwaves
       | they have an annoying delay between when you can do another
       | keystoke after doing the last one, so I've appreciated the little
       | bit of time saving I get with this knowledge.
        
         | Dunedan wrote:
         | I prefer simpler microwaves with just two knobs: one for amount
         | of power and one for the time. No buttons to press and no
         | ambiguous user interface either. Just turn the knobs to the
         | desired values and you're done. No buttons to press at all.
        
           | thomastjeffery wrote:
           | I sincerely wish I could get a new microwave with a good
           | quality digital dial/knob for setting the timer, and a
           | popcorn button.
           | 
           | Buttons suck.
        
           | mechanicalpulse wrote:
           | Yes! I once had a cheap microwave that only had a timer knob
           | on it and I found myself twisting it indiscriminately because
           | all I wanted was for it to be on. Being a mechanical timer,
           | the resolution wasn't good enough that precise cook times
           | were achievable. The power level on that unit was not very
           | good, anyway.
           | 
           | I grew to prefer that method of interfacing with a microwave.
           | "Just go! I don't care about the cook time!" When my wife and
           | I bought our first house and purchased our appliance set, I
           | wanted a microwave that did not force me to go through a
           | timer workflow. Having such a workflow was good, but I also
           | wanted some sort of "on" button on it. We picked out a GE
           | Profile unit that had two user-assignable functions on the
           | main interface. I assigned a "30s cook" function to one of
           | the buttons. This is my "on" button. Additional presses of
           | the button append 30s to the timer. This satisfies most of my
           | needs.
           | 
           | Unfortunately, when I want to reduce power, the buttons that
           | I have to press to do so are not as simple. I start the cook
           | via the normal quick 30s button, but then I have to press the
           | power button, then have to press the down button several
           | times to lower the default power level of 10 to something
           | more reasonable like 5 or 3, then I have to press to confirm
           | that level. This takes precious seconds -- if it's a
           | sensitive item like a small dipping bowl of marinara or
           | something, the adjustment may be too late. Sure, I guess I
           | could go through the full cook workflow, but that's not how I
           | want to interact with it. And you know, if I am expending the
           | time and energy to lower the power level from 10, it is
           | highly unlikely that 9 will be my desired power level.
           | Instead, I wish there was a "halve power level" button on the
           | cook screen that cut the active duty cycle in half. So one
           | press takes me from PL10 to PL5, another press goes to PL2.5,
           | and so forth. Then I'd be happy.
           | 
           | I don't use any of the other features buried in the menus.
           | It's all superfluous.
        
         | mabbo wrote:
         | The bigger "Why wasn't I doing this sooner" with microwaves is
         | using lower power modes.
         | 
         | They don't actually reduce the 'power' of the microwave, but
         | they turn it on and then back off again for a proportion of
         | time, over and over.
         | 
         | It takes longer to reheat stuff this way, but it comes out much
         | more evenly heated, I find.
        
           | derbOac wrote:
           | Some do operate in a "true" lower power mode (or at least in
           | some mode that's indistinguishable to us). Ours does and it's
           | great. But it's the first one I've had that actually does
           | that; the rest have operated in lower power mode in the way
           | you're describing.
        
             | hammock wrote:
             | The ones that have a true low power mode are called
             | inverter microwaves and cost like twice as much. They may
             | be worth it if you like to defrost food in the micro as it
             | prevents the food from cooking
        
               | ansgri wrote:
               | They are absolutely worth it! Easy defrosting, uniform
               | reheating, less noise, especially if it's a rotation-free
               | model like Panasonic NN-DS596B.
        
           | kbuck wrote:
           | Panasonic "inverter" microwaves actually do reduce the power
           | output. It's one of my favorite features. On power level 1
           | you can actually soften butter without melting random pits
           | into it.
           | 
           | Unfortunately, at least on my current model, the UX to access
           | this feature is very bad: repeatedly pressing the "power"
           | button until it reaches the desired level. I've had other
           | microwaves where you just key in the desired power after
           | pressing "power", and much prefer that method.
           | 
           | I don't know whether Panasonic has licensed this to any other
           | manufacturer.
        
             | balfirevic wrote:
             | I also have the one from Panasonic, but I'm seeing other
             | manufacturers advertise inverter technology on their
             | microwaves recently.
        
             | hammock wrote:
             | >you can actually soften butter
             | 
             | Ooh that's a good use case. What else do you do with it?
        
               | kbuck wrote:
               | Anything dense (e.g. lasagna, meatloaf, etc.) is good for
               | a lower power level / more time trade-off. It will end up
               | more evenly warm without the edges exploding. I usually
               | use power 3 or 4 for these dense dishes.
        
           | throwanem wrote:
           | Stir or otherwise rearrange what you're heating every so
           | often, too. Microwaves deliver energy mostly to the outside
           | of what they're bombarding, so it improves heat distribution
           | to mechanically move the heated parts toward the center and
           | vice versa - this helps prevent the "burnt outside and still
           | cold in the middle" problem.
        
           | haswell wrote:
           | And on many microwaves, the "reheat" button is just a guided
           | version of a low power mode.
           | 
           | The newer microwaves with a sensor reheat button are pretty
           | great.
        
           | com2kid wrote:
           | > They don't actually reduce the 'power' of the microwave,
           | 
           | Depends on the microwave, you can get models that do adjust
           | the power and they are very nice to use. Being able to slowly
           | and evenly heat up food in the microwave is a huge game
           | changer when it comes to how you use your microwave.
        
         | xyzelement wrote:
         | It's a fun fact that the reason for this was for preparation
         | for the introduction of a metric minute composed of 100 seconds
         | that was mandated by the government in the 1960s just as the
         | first digital controls for home appliances were being
         | introduced.
         | 
         | If I recall correctly - 60 imperial seconds are equivalent to
         | 100 metric seconds a sort of inverse to the 100 kph being
         | equivalent to 60 mph (metric units were mandated on American
         | speedometers at the same time)
         | 
         | Of course on the speedometer you can just display both units
         | where as on the microwave entry it's more the intention of the
         | user that drives interpretation. So they got stuck at 100=60
         | and since everyone just interpreted 100 metric seconds as 1:00,
         | minute it never caught on but never went away either.
        
           | causi wrote:
           | _It 's a fun fact that the reason for this was for
           | preparation for the introduction of a metric minute composed
           | of 100 seconds that was mandated by the government in the
           | 1960s just as the first digital controls for home appliances
           | were being introduced._
           | 
           | This sounds like complete nonsense and I can't find any
           | evidence of such a "mandated by the government metric time"
           | with Google.
        
             | gpderetta wrote:
             | I think "imperial second" kind of gives it away.
        
           | dragonwriter wrote:
           | > It's a fun fact that the reason for this was for
           | preparation for the introduction of a metric minute composed
           | of 100 seconds that was mandated by the government in the
           | 1960s [...] (metric units were mandated on American
           | speedometers at the same time)
           | 
           | The Metric Conversion Act was in 1975, not the 1960s, and I
           | am fairly sure that a decimalized minute was never part of
           | any plans for US metrication anyhow.
           | 
           | This seems like an urban legend where the more likely reason
           | is that its a practical design to treat the last two digits
           | as seconds abd everything before as minutes, irrespective of
           | whether the last two digits are greater than one minute, when
           | making a keypad entry system. It bith does what is likely
           | intended _and_ avoids needing validation /error reporting
           | since every possible numerical entry becomes correct.
        
         | timerol wrote:
         | I (almost) exclusively use the "Start (+30 s)" button to set
         | time. It's very rare for me to microwave things more than 3
         | minutes (6 rapid button presses), I normally do 60 or 90 s. The
         | microwave starts going as soon as the first button is hit.
        
         | IgorPartola wrote:
         | I do 55 or 66 seconds. Or the +30 button.
         | 
         | Related: hold down 2 on the microwave for a couple of seconds
         | to silence all chirps.
        
         | yboris wrote:
         | Microwaves are getting better UX these days. The cheap one I
         | bought from Walmart about a year ago lets me press `1` and it
         | auto-starts a one-minute heating process.
        
         | didgeoridoo wrote:
         | Alongside this point, just discovered using the "sensor cook"
         | mode on my microwave a few days ago. Apparently it measures the
         | humidity coming off the food and adjusts the cooking power and
         | time accordingly. One button push and you can walk away,
         | confident the food will be heated through but not overcooked.
         | Game changer.
        
         | hammock wrote:
         | Even easier than typing 60 for one minute is to type 55.
         | 
         | I often type 33, 111, 222, etc for the time saving benefit
        
         | peeters wrote:
         | In must microwaves just pressing 1 (and correspondingly 1-5ish)
         | and nothing else will start the microwave on high for 1 minute
         | at full power. Rather than having to press <timed-cook + 6 + 0
         | + start>.
        
         | coldpie wrote:
         | 66 is close enough to 60, and lets you just mash the one key :)
         | Though I just mash the +30 seconds button until it gets in the
         | ballpark, and it turns on the microwave immediately with the
         | first press. 15 seconds either way isn't going to make a
         | difference, and I usually pull it early anyway once it starts
         | to smell/sound/look cooked.
        
         | mhb wrote:
         | Hmm. Maybe there's more opportunity for you to optimize even a
         | bit more. On my (cheap) microwave, I can push 1 through 6 and
         | it just goes for that number of minutes. And pushing Start adds
         | 30 seconds. More resolution is seldom needed.
        
       | cloudripper wrote:
       | Walking.
       | 
       | Currently in my late 30s, I've long enjoyed pushing my limits in
       | many forms of physical exertion - running, climbing, skiing,
       | mountain biking, etc. However, as I've aged and my bones are no
       | longer made of rubber, I have been forced to realize that pain is
       | not often gain.
       | 
       | Dealing with the many persistent aches and pains, I was prompted
       | by a friend to get a 'gait analysis' to assist with my running
       | longer distances and in more diverse terrain. I quickly learned
       | from my very skillful physical therapist/gait analyst, that my
       | gait for running is not sustainable- and will lead to kinks and
       | pains as I progress. Taking a step back, she identified that many
       | of those gait quirks stem from my walking gait. And she quickly
       | identified that my walking gait is out-of-wack due to an injury I
       | sustained while playing basketball when I was 13.
       | 
       | 25 years later, I am challenged to learn how to walk correctly..
       | so the question I have is if I haven't yet learned to walk, have
       | I really ever been able to run? I doubt it, but I'm a pretty firm
       | believer that I will be able to in the future.
       | 
       | Edit: I can't spelle
        
         | beznet wrote:
         | I used to have a very large stride and was always known as a
         | fast walker. Started having hip/back pain and reassessed how I
         | move entirely and realized my long strides meant my hip and
         | lower back shifted dramatically with each step to give my leg
         | extra reach. Got minimalist shoes to where I don't heel strike
         | as significantly and its reduced my stride length quite a bit
         | thus removing that excess rotation in my hip and lower back
        
         | prakashk wrote:
         | Do you, by any chance, mean to say "gait" analysis, instead of
         | "gate" analysis?
         | 
         | If not, can you please explain what "gate analysis" is?
        
       | z7 wrote:
       | I don't know to what extent it's wrong, but I've been drinking
       | tap water for years. Here in Germany it's generally said to be of
       | high quality, but apparently 1 litre contains 100 nanograms of
       | hormones (via birth control medication).[1] Even at such
       | concentrations the hormones are said to have an effect (the
       | article quotes a professor for membrane technology and describes
       | a new filtering process aiming to solve this issue).
       | 
       | [1] https://www.nationalgeographic.de/umwelt/2022/03/hormone-
       | im-...
        
         | tbonesteaks wrote:
         | We live in the US, in an old house and generally the tap isn't
         | good. But, in combination with the old pipes, it was gross. I
         | have a friend who is a pipe fitter, and he told me "Poison
         | kills you quickly. Bad pipes do it slowly." So, we got a Berkey
         | Walter Filter [1] and it's great. They are heavy duty and
         | apparently it even alkalizes the water.
         | 
         | [1] https://www.berkeyfilters.com/
        
       | thn-gap wrote:
       | Not telling my friends that I love them.
       | 
       | I was 28 the first time a friend told me "I love you" in a pure
       | friendship way (and while sober), and without being a part of a
       | special situation. I've also done it afterwards, and because I
       | had never told my friend i love them, it made the message even
       | stronger.
       | 
       | It feels wrong that we don't do this more often.
        
         | RobertRoberts wrote:
         | I recently remembered to tell my kids "I like hanging out with
         | you" or "this was nice being with you today". I did it a while
         | back when I had a realization that my parents didn't like
         | spending time with me and I didn't want my kids to feel that.
         | But then I forgot for a time...
        
         | nlh wrote:
         | This is truly wonderful. I do the same (even if it's sometimes
         | just "love ya man").
        
           | bckr wrote:
           | The difference in feeling between "I love you", "love you",
           | "love you guys", "love ya", "all my love", "much love" is
           | actually striking.
        
         | intrasight wrote:
         | Same. But specifically not initiating. I had a couple friends
         | from way back who would say that and I would respond in kind.
         | My change, later in life, was to be the first to say it - and
         | with any good friend. For me the change was to be in a friend
         | group of mostly women - who are generally more likely to share
         | their feelings.
         | 
         | Share the love.
        
         | lame-robot-hoax wrote:
         | I don't feel comfortable telling people I love them outside of
         | a serious relationship, so this always makes me feel a touch
         | weird.
         | 
         | Like, my best friends, I love them in a sense I guess...but I
         | wouldn't say that. It just doesn't feel natural to me. I'd
         | characterize our relationship as close, and that I care about
         | them a lot, but "love" isn't something that comes to mind
         | outside of my parents or someone I've been in a long term
         | relationship with.
         | 
         | I'm not sure why. Maybe it has to do with being an only child.
         | Maybe it has to do with all my grandparents dying when I was
         | young, and not being that close with extended family, so there
         | was never really anyone to love outside of my parents for the
         | vast majority of my life prior to any long term relationships.
        
           | kojeovo wrote:
           | Try it :)
        
           | justin_oaks wrote:
           | It's unfortunate that English doesn't have enough words for
           | different kinds of love: lustful "love", romantic love,
           | brotherly love, general love of humankind, appreciation for
           | non-human things (e.g. I love these shoes!), different words
           | for levels of love (e.g. between "like" and "love"), etc.
           | 
           | Instead they're all lumped into "love". Ugh.
        
           | geocrasher wrote:
           | You need to understand that expressing love, and being _in_
           | love are separate things. Saying  "I love you" to one of your
           | buddies doesn't mean you're lusting after them, just that you
           | care about them in a deeper way. I still struggle with it,
           | but I say "I love you, brutha!" or "love you, dude!"
           | 
           | I'm also an only child. I wasn't told "I love you", I was
           | told "shut up". Being able to say "I love you" to somebody in
           | the context we're discussing has been a game changer for me.
           | It's just so freeing.
        
             | lame-robot-hoax wrote:
             | I mean I very much understand the difference, as I said in
             | my original comment, I don't just see love as an intimate
             | thing with a partner, but as a way to express love
             | to...well...loved ones. Like parents or family. I guess I
             | just have for the vast majority of my life only associated
             | with expressing love and caring via saying "love you" to my
             | parents, that it feels as if it's almost reserved for them.
             | And then of course the "in love" meaning is reserved for a
             | relationship.
             | 
             | Like, even when I'm around extended family that says love
             | you, I just feel awkward and almost forced to respond with
             | love you too back to them. Like I care for them of
             | course...but I would never say I love you to one of them
             | without them saying it to me first.
        
               | solarmist wrote:
               | I have reframed how I interpret feeling awkward because
               | of things like this.
               | 
               | Awkward is the feeling of trying something new (a form of
               | play). Similar to giddiness.
               | 
               | Like trying out a new style of clothing, it's just the
               | feeling of a new experience.
               | 
               | It's an intense sensation because we don't allow
               | ourselves to feel as adults and assume it means I did
               | something wrong/bad. No, it's just the experience of
               | doing something different than you've always done. The
               | context can tell you if it is problematic, but usually,
               | it isn't something others notice.
        
               | halkony wrote:
               | I like this perspective. Sometimes I notice that the
               | people I value aren't quite ready to hear it from me.
               | 
               | When that happens, a funny thought pops into my head --
               | love is a four letter word.
        
             | caxco93 wrote:
             | I guess spanish made this easier with 2 separate verbs.
             | 
             | You can say "te amo" to your significant other and "te
             | quiero" to your friends and family.
        
         | e40 wrote:
         | I completely agree. It wasn't until my best friend got terminal
         | cancer that we started saying it.
        
       | tombert wrote:
       | I too kind of hold my pencil "wrong" when I write. I tend to rest
       | my wrist on the paper, which leads to smudging of the text and
       | graphite building up on my hands.
       | 
       | I never really learned a better way; I am just a really fast
       | typist now and I type everything.
        
       | Tarsul wrote:
       | I actually went up stairs up until my 20s always while holding my
       | breath. Sometimes wondering why it's so exhausting.
        
         | spcebar wrote:
         | When/why did you start doing this and when did you realize it
         | wasn't normal?
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | LVB wrote:
       | Not using a bidet.
       | 
       | I was enlightened the first time I traveled to Japan, and an
       | affordable ($50) add-on has been installed in our master bath
       | ever since.
        
         | intrasight wrote:
         | My current toilet has a sink besides it. Wet TP does
         | equivalent. But in my new house, the sink is not within
         | reaching distance. I am considering an add-on.
        
           | wingerlang wrote:
           | Wet TP is by no means equivalent to a bidet (or spray-hose-
           | thingy, as we have where I live). It is worlds better than
           | dry TP, still.
        
         | alainchabat wrote:
         | which $50 one do you recommend?
        
           | qorrect wrote:
           | $34.
           | 
           | I've recently switched to the handheld ones because the seat
           | attachments require you to shift your butt around to catch
           | the stream. Friends seem to be more weirded out by this one
           | though.
           | 
           | https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B076G9M9JG/
        
           | LVB wrote:
           | Haven't looked in a long time, but I've had this one for
           | almost 10 years with no issues:
           | https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00A0RHSJO (only $35).
        
         | pancrufty wrote:
         | All hail the bidet. Even the European-style bidet is kind of an
         | inconvenient waste because you're still supposed to use plenty
         | of paper before moving onto it. In Asia you use toilet paper
         | only to dry.
         | 
         | The Japanese one is nice but the one common across South East
         | Asia is the best because it doubles as a bowl cleaner: No need
         | for a toilet brush.
        
           | biztos wrote:
           | At least in Thailand, Western foreigners call this a "bum
           | gun."
        
         | nlh wrote:
         | +1000000
         | 
         | I used to think bidets were weird European things.
         | 
         | Now I know that wiping your dry poopy butt with paper is a
         | weird American thing :)
         | 
         | Bidets for life!
        
           | bckr wrote:
           | A weird American thing that caught on because bidets were
           | considered "sinful"!
        
             | deeteecee wrote:
             | I mean, if you eat healthy, your poop comes out pretty
             | clean is my understanding. But we Americans certainly can't
             | make that argument :)
        
               | qorrect wrote:
               | He said sinful, what did you think he said :D ?
        
               | bckr wrote:
               | I think it depends more on your gut flora than anything
               | else.
        
       | trinsic2 wrote:
       | I realized that blaming the The world and other people for my
       | misery was a waste of my life.
       | 
       | http://scottrlarson.com/books/book-most-improved/
        
       | achenatx wrote:
       | Ive modestly tried to lose weight my whole life. Ive never been
       | fat, but still had to work to keep my calories low. Im 5' 9", and
       | it took 10 years to go from 170 to more like 160. Losing weight
       | made me weaker and caused me to lose muscle.
       | 
       | Ive recently started weightlifting for strength (low reps high
       | weights) and the mindset is totally different. With weightlifting
       | to keep your lifts going up you have to eat more. One standard is
       | 1g protein/pound of target body weight. It turns out it is really
       | hard to eat that much protein and when you do you arent that
       | hungry. Im now trying to gain weight to get up to 190-200. Ive
       | gained 10 pounds back to 170, but it is more muscle than fat.
       | 
       | In the end weight is just a meaningless number and building
       | muscle becomes a positive spiral. Losing weight causes a loss in
       | muscle which becomes a negative spiral.
       | 
       | Paradoxically you can be leaner, look better, and be stronger at
       | a higher weight.
        
         | saiya-jin wrote:
         | That's not really that great advice - overdosing on protein
         | long term will mess up your body in number of ways. Yes
         | beginners always fixate themselves on this specific aspect (or
         | very similar formula) but it ain't good path to sustainable
         | wellness and health.
         | 
         | Let's put aside the super tiny category of professional
         | bodybuilders where its valid approach, which ain't long term
         | healthy place to be in for number of reasons.
         | 
         | For most folks doing heavy lifting, normal healthy diet is more
         | than enough, if you get 60-100g of complete proteins in your
         | body, mostly from real food and not just protein powder. You
         | _will_ grow muscles hard depending on the load, genes, active
         | rest and billion other factors. At certain point (quite far
         | from beginning) you should stop increasing weights, because you
         | are removing health benefits more than adding by working out by
         | entering joints  / connective tissue injury territory.
         | 
         | The best is some place in between, just like with everything
         | else in life. Do some heavy lifting if health allows it -
         | ideally compound free weights (initially with trainer
         | supervision to avoid mistakes that mess up your joints over
         | time), do some cardio, HIIT, get into real sports out there and
         | physical activities that become your passion and you stop
         | caring about chasing meaningless weightlifting numbers.
         | 
         | The best side effect of all this is you start thinking much
         | more what you eat, how much and how often. _That_ is the key to
         | good health, good weight and overall setup that can last you
         | well into retirement.
        
           | gpt5 wrote:
           | It's funny that the OP recommended taking 77g of proteins per
           | day (1g per kg for a 170lbs person), while you say that he is
           | recommending too much protein, then proceeding to recommend
           | 60-100g.
           | 
           | Edit: I mixed the units.
        
             | frogulis wrote:
             | OP recommended 1g/pound which is more than double that 77g
             | for a 170lb person. Not saying that the comment you
             | responded to is necessarily right, but they were talking
             | about significantly higher amounts of protein than you.
        
           | chordalkeyboard wrote:
           | > overdosing on protein long term will mess up your body in
           | number of ways
           | 
           | 1g protein per pound of lean bodyweight is not an 'overdose'
           | and has no ill effects, long term or otherwise.
           | 
           | the rest of your comment is good advice.
        
         | 015a wrote:
         | Any advice/links on getting started lifting?
        
           | the_doctah wrote:
           | Starting Strength by Mark Rippetoe is what you will see
           | recommended the most often
        
           | DantesKite wrote:
           | If you have iOS, I highly recommend the Fitbod app. I've
           | tried so many other apps and I just end up doing all this
           | tedious logging that gets frustrating. But Fitbod just
           | outsources all that away to its machine learning backend.
           | 
           | It uses an algorithm to maximize your strength gains and uses
           | the equipment you have at home (or the gym). So even if you
           | only have a few pieces of equipment, it can still create a
           | diverse workout for you.
           | 
           | And it has videos for how to do each exercise, which comes in
           | handy more than you might expect.
           | 
           | I like it because I don't have to keep track of anything,
           | don't have to do any work in terms of number crunching.
           | 
           | It's like having a smart personal coach.
        
           | mcnnowak wrote:
           | Generally my advice when people ask me is as follows:
           | 
           | 1. In the beginning, going to the gym is the hardest part.
           | Incentive: if you go to the gym consistently for a while you
           | are rewarded with no more post workout muscle soreness, and
           | easy newbie gains.
           | 
           | 2. Do compound lifts if you can (squat, bench, deadlift
           | (warning deadlifts are not for everyone, and may not be all
           | that beneficial), pullups/pulldowns.) Add a bit of weight or
           | reps each week. Aim for 3-6 sets. No one will care if you
           | start with an empty bar. If you add reps, if you get up to
           | around 10-12, add weight instead. These number are flexible
           | and there is no right answer.
           | 
           | 3. For accessory exercises or things that target single
           | muscles: try a bunch of stuff and try new stuff often. If you
           | don't like it, don't do it. If you like it, work it into your
           | routine. These are generally fun but unnecessary until you
           | hit a plateau/wall in another lift and do some research on
           | what you want to do to get past that plateau/wall.
           | 
           | 4. Good form is more important than adding weight. Don't hurt
           | yourself.
           | 
           | 5/Bonus. Try watching some cringey YouTube fitness
           | influencers and see if they're doing anything that looks fun
           | and try that.
           | 
           | Also follow the golden rule: clean up and put your damn
           | weights back.
        
             | tstrimple wrote:
             | I'm pretty sure the deadlift comment would get you into
             | fights in most gyms with power lifters. I'm curious where
             | you have seen that they aren't beneficial? Everything I've
             | read about them puts them firmly into the "best exercises"
             | category.
        
             | ghostpepper wrote:
             | Not OP but I would add - keep some kind of written record
             | of your progress - it can be very motivating to look back
             | and see eg. I went 3 days per week for the last 3 weeks, or
             | 3 months ago I could lift X, now I can lift X+30
        
           | fknorangesite wrote:
           | The /r/fitness wiki is a surprisingly good resource for
           | beginners: https://thefitness.wiki/
        
           | danial wrote:
           | https://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-Basic-Barbell-
           | Train...
        
         | ancientworldnow wrote:
         | The standard is 1g per kg but American lifters got confused and
         | repeat it ad nauseum online until it became heterodox.
        
         | jakesgates wrote:
         | I started lifting within the past couple years and focused on
         | high protein intake, I found very quickly that if you are
         | trying hard throughout the day to hit 130g+ of protein, there
         | isn't much room to be craving other things. And when I did
         | crave something sweet or unhealthy, I basically told myself
         | that if I first have my big protein shake, and then if I still
         | feel the desire to eat that thing, then I could eat it. But
         | only after having a shake... and most of the time you are so
         | full from the shake or protein bar that you don't care for that
         | desert anymore anyways.
        
       | Overtonwindow wrote:
       | Thinking that most people have good intentions.
        
         | loa_in_ wrote:
         | Even if they say they have your best interest in mind, they
         | might not, or they might be misinformed about you and act on
         | un-truths. Either way it can be very detrimental.
        
         | dandanua wrote:
         | Most people just follow the trend. But there are leaders that
         | promote the worst in people. And they have a huge part of
         | attention nowadays.
        
         | muzani wrote:
         | I saw a documentary once where a cop said that 10% always have
         | bad intentions, 10% always have good intentions, and 80% are
         | situational. We don't normally encounter the ones with constant
         | bad intentions because most end up in prison.
         | 
         | But it stuck with me because my father was always around really
         | nice people and I realised he faced the opposite of the prison
         | effect. If you're consistently nice to people, you end up in
         | the crowd of people with better intentions. It's a selection
         | bias.
        
           | tarotuser wrote:
           | The 10% bad and 10% good is also a strong proxy for
           | poverty/plenty. Desperate people do desperate things.
           | 
           | Also, be careful how you assign "bad". It can either be
           | unethical or illegal, as they are not the same thing.
        
             | muzani wrote:
             | Poverty/plenty is in the 80%.
             | 
             | Bad means someone who would molest a child because it's a
             | new experience or run over a stranger with a car. A
             | business owner who is _proud_ that the people he hires don
             | 't make enough money to eat.
             | 
             | Hitmen who consider the people they kill as rats so they
             | don't get emotional scarred by the murder - they're in the
             | 80%. A tyrant who orders a city pillaged and raped to
             | assert dominance, also in the 80%.
        
           | ChicagoBoy11 wrote:
           | If you want to do a marvelous deep dive on this concept, I
           | highly recommend the Evolution of Cooperation by Robert
           | Axelrod. It's a masterful work on the game theory behind how
           | different species/animals/people cooperate and why, and it is
           | a deeply intellectual and rigorous book that uses no more
           | than 6th grade algebra to get its point across. Promise you
           | you'll like it.
        
           | bombolo wrote:
           | If a cop said it, I'm just going to assume it's false.
           | 
           | Bad people don't end up in prison, not for the most part. Bad
           | intention and crime aren't the same thing.
        
           | high_byte wrote:
           | not everyone in prison. many are smart, cautious and/or
           | experienced. I would even say most are not while most people
           | in prison are not "always bad" but situational.
        
             | muzani wrote:
             | Not everyone in prison is bad and not everyone bad ends up
             | in prison.
             | 
             | But it got me thinking that there are people out there who
             | will stab you just for disagreeing with them. We don't
             | encounter them often because nearly all the people who
             | can't control themselves end up in prison. It's dangerous
             | to assume that people will always act in their own best
             | interest.
        
         | nrclark wrote:
         | I think it's a good practice to assume that people have
         | good/average intentions. Nobody is the villain in the story
         | they tell themselves. I get farther in life with this
         | philosophy:
         | 
         | Nobody is out to get me. Also, it's a C+ world out there, with
         | a lot of incompetent people.
         | 
         | Be smart, and be very careful about whether you trust somebody
         | to deliver the outcome that you want. But if they mess it up,
         | come up with some reasons other than "so-and-so is evil" or
         | "so-and-so hates me". It'll help your state of mind, and also
         | your interactions with them.
        
         | themandalorian wrote:
         | i'm the opposite, how to balance it?
        
         | GoToRO wrote:
         | Put a person in debt for 30+ years so that he has to deliver
         | (most of the time they fake it) and see how toxic that person
         | becomes. I see a lot of managers beeing trapped and
         | replaceable. They are the most toxic people. They will do
         | anything not to loose that job because the bank will take their
         | home. Developers are not much better, but the culture is set by
         | managers.
        
         | Jommi wrote:
         | you should always assume this, otherwise you just sign yourself
         | up to play a losing game for the rest of your life
        
       | mooreds wrote:
       | I used to always cut open packages in the kitchen with a sharp
       | knife (typically a steak knife). When I got married, my SO was a
       | big fan of kitchen shears, so I was introduced to them.
       | 
       | Using shears is a far better experience, and they're useful for
       | pizza too.
        
         | bruce343434 wrote:
         | An actual pizza knife (sharp wheel thingy) will be undoubtedly
         | better.
        
           | mooreds wrote:
           | I've used the sharp wheel thingy (didn't know it was called a
           | pizza knife) in the past. It's nice but only good for that
           | one purpose.
           | 
           | Kitchen shears are far better than a regular knife because
           | they give you a lot more control, it's easy to cut different
           | sized pieces. Plus, shears are useful for other things too
           | (butterflying a chicken, for example).
        
           | tome wrote:
           | Definitely not! Cutting pizza with scissors/kitchen shears is
           | far more effective. I'd never cut home-cooked pizza with a
           | wheel if I had my way. Unfortunately it tends to upset
           | Italians and other sticklers for tradition.
        
             | bruce343434 wrote:
             | I can only imagine the cheese layer getting plaqued onto
             | the shears.
        
         | Leftium wrote:
         | Try a Slice micro ceramic blade!
         | https://www.sliceproducts.com/products/safety-cutter
        
         | cookie_monsta wrote:
         | Kitchen shears are also great for cutting meat into strips for
         | stir fry.
         | 
         | Please don't judge me. I'm just trying to get by.
        
       | w_for_wumbo wrote:
       | Thinking other people's emotions were my responsibility (or
       | likewise that other people were responsible for my emotions). I
       | can control my actions and that is all. If someone reacts
       | negatively, it's not my fault, and it's not my responsibility. I
       | may choose to help them through it, but at the end of the day, I
       | can't, nor should I want to control other people's emotions.
        
       | colinsane wrote:
       | when regulating temperature, the body does better at heating than
       | cooling: i sleep better and all the way through the night with a
       | wool blanket @ 10C than with thin sheets @ 20C.
        
       | intrasight wrote:
       | When I was about 12, I sprained my thumb and started holding
       | pencils very differently because my thumb was in a splint. It
       | took decades to go back to the right way.
        
       | f3b5 wrote:
       | Not waking up earlier to the fact that the meat section in the
       | supermarket is a product of systemic, gruesome torture of
       | intelligent beings. Like probably many of you who read this, I
       | usually felt a bit guilty when I was confronted with the ugly
       | facts we are all vaguely familiar with. I justified my meat
       | consumption with specieist arguments (humans are so much better
       | than pigs, cows, etc). My wife challenged me to watch at least a
       | little bit of a documentary, and if I still wanted to eat salami,
       | so be it. Afterwards I didn't want to eat salami anymore. I now
       | think that the extreme abuse of animals by the food industry on
       | behalf of ignorant consumers is probably the worst evil of the
       | 21st century. If you disagree, I challenge you - watch 15min and
       | then post your reply: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LQRAfJyEsko
        
         | orange_fritter wrote:
         | I think the "aha" moment was when I was thinking silently about
         | how great this veggie wrap was, and someone expressed disgust.
         | They said nothing compares to a meatball sub, and I realized
         | that my palate had changed because I used to feel the same way.
         | Like if you don't hork down a big chunk of meat, your meal is
         | incomplete. But deliberate effort to be healthy and moral had
         | changed my taste buds and gut. The sacrifice is not as big as
         | you think. As for me, I will still eat a steak if I really
         | crave it, but I typically feel heavy/slow afterward and it's
         | just not as good as they say.
        
         | high_byte wrote:
         | you would probably love Cowspiracy and the less gruesome and
         | more wholesome The Game Changers. both on Netflix.
        
         | jmkr wrote:
         | A few minutes of skipping around Dominion for me too.
         | 
         | > I now think that the extreme abuse of animals by the food
         | industry on behalf of ignorant consumers is probably the worst
         | evil of the 21st century.
         | 
         | I agree, there's no comparison, billions of land animals a
         | year, trillions including sea life. I can't count that high.
         | 
         | The pain has gotten worse year after year. You watch otherwise
         | smart people give bad arguments, or complete ignorance. To
         | maintain any kind of social life you have to deal with being
         | uncomfortable with those around you.
         | 
         | Hopefully we can have small impactful moments upon other's
         | lives.
        
         | lumb63 wrote:
         | My stock response to assertions that eating meat is cruel:
         | plants feel too. Many species are self-aware every bit as much
         | as animals are. It's only because wheat and corn don't have big
         | googly eyes that we feel no sympathy for them. Implicit in the
         | act of consumption is the notion that our lives are worth more
         | than the lives of whatever we eat.
        
           | mahogany wrote:
           | Even if it's true that plants feel and suffer, the pipeline
           | of plants -> livestock -> food still kills many (an order of
           | magnitude at least) more plants than the direct pipeline of
           | plants -> food, so eating animals still causes more overall
           | suffering.
           | 
           | In that sense, it seems to me that a plant-based diet is
           | still the preferable choice if one wants to reduce
           | unnecessary suffering.
        
         | KMnO4 wrote:
         | Curious, do you still eat meat? And if you do, do you prefer
         | small farm butchers?
        
           | f3b5 wrote:
           | No I'm completely vegan by now (though I was vegetarian for a
           | long time because cheese had a strong hold on me). Regarding
           | small butchers / organic farms: a long time ago, I spent two
           | days at a tiny organic farm that was run by a local
           | politician of a European Greens party. By meat industry
           | standards, this farm was an absolute animal paradise. I
           | helped around the farm, including with slaughtering a pig. My
           | job as the guy from the city was to just herd it into the
           | kill room. The pig seemed intelligent to me, it was confused
           | and didn't want to die. A crew of men dressed in wifebeaters
           | stunned the pig with an electroshocker, lifted it up with a
           | chain, sliced its arteries to let it bleed out, all while
           | cheerfully drinking beer. They made crude remarks while blood
           | and guts was spilling everywhere. Needless to say, there was
           | way more chopping to be done after that. The scene had a
           | surreal quality to me - what had just been alive a moment ago
           | was now dangling in halves in front of me like in a horror
           | movie. The pig probably didn't suffer, but the experience
           | still felt deeply wrong to me. But here's the kicker: even
           | after this close-up slaughter experience I still continued to
           | eat meat for years, because I just was so used to it. Back in
           | the city, in the gleaming supermarket, meat again stopped
           | being something that lived, and was again a yummy product to
           | buy.
           | 
           | Long story short: even the best farm and the best butcher
           | (which are getting exceedingly rare) are still using,
           | abusing, and ultimately killing intelligent beings. This also
           | does something to the people that do the killing:
           | https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-50986683
        
       | muzani wrote:
       | Pasta and sauce are not meant to be separate. Once you cook the
       | pasta, drain it, and immediately toss with the sauce. This is
       | part of the reason it was meant to be al dente, to absorb and
       | deliver the flavor of the sauce better. Unlike rice, it's fine to
       | "soak" pasta in the sauce; it expands when freshly cooked but not
       | when cool.
       | 
       | Also most sauce recipes are probably overcomplicated. Most need
       | less than 5 ingredients. You probably don't need all that onion
       | and garlic, but one of them. Definitely not two tablespoons of
       | dried oregano.
       | 
       | The way you cut onions and garlic changes the flavor a lot too.
       | Finely minced garlic, from a food processor or garlic press can
       | be overpowering yet not deliver the flavor. One trick is to crush
       | the garlic and let the oil it's in carry the flavor. Half an
       | onion can work really well in a sauce you cooking for half an
       | hour.
        
         | 2-718-281-828 wrote:
         | and the secret spice of any sauce is ... sugar. yes, I'm very
         | sorry. thank me later
        
         | cabalamat wrote:
         | > Unlike rice, it's fine to "soak" pasta in the sauce
         | 
         | Why is this bad with rice? When I make a stew I often put some
         | rice in, with the expectation that the rice will absorb some of
         | the stew.
        
           | jerf wrote:
           | Rice can almost fully disintegrate if left in water, and will
           | become something that disintegrates even more if stirred or
           | agitated. In many other applications it replaces a pleasantly
           | tactile and textured starch with a sort of sludge slurry, but
           | as is often the case if you know and expect this it can be
           | used in some applications advantageously. Thickening a stew
           | is one of them. It's actually my favorite stew thickener. We
           | discovered this the hard way once, though. We just "threw
           | some rice" into a stew, and, well, if you put enough "sludge
           | slurry" into a stew it starts to dominate... since then,
           | though, it's been something very useful, especially since I'm
           | allergic to flour, one of the traditional choices.
        
           | dfxm12 wrote:
           | It's not bad, _per se_. It depends what you 're going for.
           | There's a lot of different ways to cook rice "properly"
           | depending on the end dish. Congee, risotto, paella, sushi,
           | etc. all have you cook rice differently while adding various
           | degrees of liquid at different times.
        
           | cassianoleal wrote:
           | Same. Also to make risotto you cook the rice with everything
           | else and keep stirring so the rice absorbs all of it whilst
           | releasing starch to make that creamy texture.
        
           | muzani wrote:
           | It doesn't work well with most Asian dishes with sauces. Such
           | as butter chicken, curry, the stuff with coconut milk,
           | sambal.
           | 
           | I think stew might be an exception, because you want it to be
           | porridge-like. But for many sauces, that's too soggy. You
           | usually want it to soak for a few seconds to minutes but not
           | an hour.
        
         | SpaceL10n wrote:
         | To mix or not to mix? That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler
         | in the mind to suffer, the soaking of pasta in outrageous
         | marinara, or to take arms against a sea of sauce.
         | 
         | I remember Anthony Bourdain asking his Sicilian family this
         | question, and the table erupted in hot debate. I'm not sure you
         | are "wrong".
        
           | mrguyorama wrote:
           | Mixing and finishing the pasta in the sauce results in better
           | tasting food. I don't care if some angry Sicilian claims
           | that's not "authentic" or some garbage. They don't own the
           | concept of pasta in tomato sauce anymore.
        
             | torstenvl wrote:
             | They never did. Tomatoes are 100% American. They do not
             | grow natively in Italy or anywhere else in Europe.
        
               | nszceta wrote:
               | EUers mostly eat Tomatoes grown within a few hundred
               | miles of EU borders. Not from America.
               | 
               | Morocco is the leading supplier to the EU, accounting for
               | 70% of the EU's total imports, followed by Turkey.
        
               | xypage wrote:
               | What they mean is that they originate from the Americas,
               | not that it's the only place they grow, meaning it's not
               | an ancient Italian dish. It didn't become popular in
               | Italian food until the 18th century [1]
               | 
               | [1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomato#Italy
        
               | eddsh1994 wrote:
               | While they might not have been making tomato-based pastas
               | until the 17/18th century that's still earlier than the
               | founding of the US - I think we can credit Sicily with
               | having some impact on tomato based pastas!
        
               | saiya-jin wrote:
               | He meant historically, tomatoes are native to South
               | America before being brought everywhere else. So ie a
               | Sicilian getting angry about not doing some red sauce
               | pasta dish due to feeling this is their heritage original
               | dish and they have patent on the proper procedure... it
               | depends how far back in time you look.
               | 
               | Same ie potatoes in eastern Europe, a base in many many
               | 'traditional' dishes. Yes if we look maybe 10 generations
               | back, not so much for say 30 generations
        
               | torstenvl wrote:
               | Exactly. Use of red sauce in Italian cuisine is what, if
               | it were invented today, we would call "Ibero-Italian
               | fusion cuisine"; and the Spanish and Portuguese red
               | sauces were developed after their early exploration of
               | the Americas.
               | 
               | So much of creativity is the result of mixing diverse
               | elements in unique ways. And it's especially rich to rant
               | about "purity" or cultural "ownership" regarding
               | something that is fundamentally the result of such a
               | fusion.
               | 
               | EDIT: Speaking of which, if you haven't tried pasta or
               | pizza with a Portuguese pepper-tomato sauce, you're
               | missing out.
        
               | [deleted]
        
               | [deleted]
        
               | buildbot wrote:
               | I always found this to be extremely amusing, so much of
               | our cultural food touchstones are less old than we think.
               | Tempura for example, is originally Portuguese. Salmon was
               | not used for sushi until pretty recently (needs to be
               | flash frozen to be safe for this one). Japanese curry?
               | From Britain! By way if India.
        
               | acchow wrote:
               | From India by way of Britain, right?
        
               | buildbot wrote:
               | Yes sorry. That is the better way to say it.
        
               | bckr wrote:
               | Biryani? Adapted from Persian cooking.
        
               | buildbot wrote:
               | Ooo that's a new one for me, awesome! Biryani is so good.
        
         | jacknews wrote:
         | Also, you don't have to boil the pasta for the full 8 minutes
         | or whatever, just the first couple of minutes, then let it sit,
         | eg https://www.barilla.com/en-gb/passive-cooking
        
           | jdmtheNth wrote:
           | I cared while I thought it was a way to better pasta. Very
           | disappointing.
        
             | jacknews wrote:
             | It's pasta, in boiling/hot water, so I'm not sure there are
             | many variables apart from time.
             | 
             | I don't believe there's a 'gourmet method' or anything like
             | that which can get better results than just 'correctly
             | cooked' pasta.
             | 
             | But, you can measure the perfect cooking time/hydration by
             | measuring the length ratio of cooked/dry (assuming
             | spaghetti):
             | https://arxiv.org/ftp/arxiv/papers/2201/2201.09621.pdf
             | 
             | Perhaps you could use this to devise a protocol to parboil
             | the pasta, and then finish hydrating it to the perfect
             | consistency in the hot sauce.
        
           | gpderetta wrote:
           | Obvious in retrospect: once the water is boiling, any other
           | increase of energy will only be used to evaporate the water.
           | The temperature won't increase. And water can stay hot long
           | enough to cook the pasta. Also less vapor in the environment.
           | I'll try it next time.
        
           | dgacmu wrote:
           | +1. I used to subscribe to "huge pot of boiling water" until
           | Kenji studied it.
           | 
           | https://www.seriouseats.com/how-to-cook-pasta-salt-water-
           | boi...
           | 
           | I've switched to his method. It works really well. Doesn't
           | take as long to boil, uses less gas, uses less water, uses
           | less salt (b/c you waste less in the water). Now I just heat
           | the water to boiling, throw in the pasta, let it come back to
           | a boil, stir a bunch, turn off the heat, and put the lid on.
           | Works every time.
        
             | bakoo wrote:
             | Had to wade through a lot of bad advice before finding a
             | fellow Kenji acolyte ;) That man is an excellent teacher
             | and a great mythbuster.
        
         | throwaway743 wrote:
         | And if you're making a red sauce, simmer a little anchovy paste
         | or a couple anchovies (till they melt down) first with bay
         | leaf, olive oil, and garlic before adding anything else into
         | the pot. Broken up kalamata olives, basil, and onion are good
         | around that point/shortly after too.
         | 
         | And when you add in the tomato puree (or your preference), add
         | a tiny bit of sugar. If the sauce looks like it has a sheen,
         | it's ruined. Just a tiny amount will do.
         | 
         | Do this and your sauce will taste 10 times better. Not a fan of
         | anchovies, but you won't even be able to tell.
        
         | donatj wrote:
         | I really thought I hated spaghetti growing up. My parents would
         | boil the noodles and then pour room temp sauce from a jar at
         | the table individually. It was inedible.
         | 
         | I was visiting a friend and had it all cooked together in the
         | pan for the first time and it was eye opening.
        
           | peteradio wrote:
           | Can anyone recommend good books on PTSD for relief from
           | reading about OPs childhood?
        
           | pmarreck wrote:
           | > room temp sauce
           | 
           | dude. wtf? seriously this is almost child abuse
        
           | gwbas1c wrote:
           | One of the things I did my whole life was never criticize my
           | mother's cooking. (She was a much better cook than me,
           | especially her pasta sauce.)
           | 
           | BUT: Once I started cooking I started coaching her back.
           | Specifically, I taught her to defrost her burgers before
           | grilling.
        
           | bityard wrote:
           | This reminds me...
           | 
           | My parents were on the lower end of rural middle-class so on
           | the rare occasion we went to a restaurant, steak was avoided
           | as the most expensive thing on the menu, and as kids, we
           | didn't have the option of steak anyway. Our meats while
           | growing up were mainly fish, chicken, pork, and hamburger.
           | When I was a teen, my mom got a deal on a big box of steaks
           | somehow and cooked them on the grill every other night for
           | dinner. She made it sound like we were living like royalty
           | but no matter what kind of sauces or seasonings I slathered
           | on, they were always dry and tasteless. I voluntarily skipped
           | a lot of dinners that summer and thought I just hated steak.
           | 
           | In my mid-20s, I befriended a Brazilian. He invited my spouse
           | and I over for a barbecue. When we got there, I found out the
           | only thing going on the grill was steak, a.k.a. Brazilian
           | Beef. Basically thick chunks of steak "marinated" in rock
           | salt then cooked over open coals to sear the outside, but
           | never long enough to get the inside more than medium-rare. I
           | probably mentioned not caring for steak but he assured me I
           | was going to like it. And wow, he was right. So tasty, so
           | juicy. Decades later, I still make it every chance I get.
           | 
           | My wife and I sometimes talk about how our parents basically
           | ruined whole categories of food for us until we got out into
           | the world and experienced (or learned for ourselves) how
           | things were _supposed_ to be cooked.
        
             | DanCarvajal wrote:
             | Growing up I went through the same thing and eventually
             | talked to my mom about it and we came to the conclusion
             | that it all went back to her parents who lived the Great
             | Depression. When you grow up on Bread and Butter pickle
             | sandwiches and then have industrialized food thrown at you
             | post WWII you don't question it, but it has impacts on
             | subsequent generations.
             | 
             | Funny enough the other day I had a liverwurst sandwich,
             | something my Grandmother would have easily recognized,
             | except I bought it from a local whole animal butcher. What
             | was once one of the cheapest forms of meat is now rare
             | gourmet sandwich.
        
               | halkony wrote:
               | I've picked up on habits in my parents that resemble
               | Great Depression era practices and their relationship
               | with food is the most noticeable. Even my Dad who liked
               | to cook as a hobby had very poor attention to detail when
               | it came to quality. My mother basically made horribly
               | seasoned slop and thought it was perfectly edible. My
               | grandfather was extremely concerned with my mother having
               | a full belly, probably at the cost of quality (a rational
               | worldview when you've experienced starvation firsthand).
               | 
               | At this point, when I meet people my age who describe
               | themselves as "picky eaters" my internal response is
               | "Your parents were probably just bad cooks." At least the
               | experience taught me to take responsibility for what I
               | put into my body.
        
               | floxy wrote:
               | Super tasters are a thing.
               | 
               | https://duckduckgo.com/?t=ffab&q=super+tasters&ia=web
        
               | halkony wrote:
               | Reminds me of the Simpsons episode where Homer burns his
               | tongue so bad he becomes a super taster. And the only
               | food he can eat is Bart's cafeteria food because it's so
               | bland haha.
               | 
               | Interestingly, the wikipedia page for super tasters
               | mentions that "some studies also show that increased
               | sensitivity to bitter tastes may be a cause of selective
               | eating." Interesting potential feedback loop.
        
           | Spivak wrote:
           | That's the spaghetti where the starches have curled back up
           | and make it so the noodles and sauce are like oil and water.
           | Ahh childhood.
        
           | thiscatis wrote:
           | Room temp sauce on cooked pasta?! Just gagged reading this.
        
             | yamtaddle wrote:
             | Can be the right thing to do--if it's not a red sauce.
             | Pesto, oil-"sauces", that kind of thing.
        
               | pc86 wrote:
               | That probably wouldn't be described as "inedible" then.
        
               | donatj wrote:
               | It was red sauce. Anything other than red sauce is too
               | fancy for my parents.
               | 
               | My wife and I always heat the pesto a little in the pan -
               | is that not the right thing to do?
        
               | yamtaddle wrote:
               | Pesto burns really easily and its flavors after cooking
               | are generally regarded as worse than when it's uncooked.
               | Heating it a little probably doesn't hurt, but it's
               | intended to be kind of a _fresh_ sauce, so, little or no
               | cooking. Doesn 't come through as well with the jar stuff
               | vs. home-made, but still.
        
             | notadev wrote:
             | You should really check out /r/shittyfoodporn if you want
             | to see just how much you can take.
        
             | CBLT wrote:
             | I got through college on this, it actually wasn't that bad.
             | I added little sauce (Most expensive part of the dish! I
             | didn't buy cheap sauce.) and folded it into the boiling hot
             | noodles immediately after draining. Brought the whole dish
             | almost immediately to serving temperature, so I could eat
             | right away instead of waiting for it to cool.
        
             | peteradio wrote:
             | _clammy mouth noises_
        
         | bob1029 wrote:
         | > One trick is to crush the garlic and let the oil it's in
         | carry the flavor.
         | 
         | I usually saute garlic in oil separately, discard the garlic
         | and then use the oil as a sort of super garlic flavor
         | concentrate.
         | 
         | I used to believe the actual ingredients were ~80% of the
         | puzzle of cooking. I now believe they're closer to ~20% for
         | most cases. The process you follow is way more important than
         | anything else.
         | 
         | Just take a sweet onion for instance. The difference 2-3
         | minutes makes in a hot pan is incredible. If you simply chopped
         | it up and threw it directly into whatever, you will wind up
         | with something that tastes substantially less flavorful.
        
         | hgsgm wrote:
         | > it expands when freshly cooked but not when cool.
         | 
         | Make noodle soup and let it sit in the fridge for a week. It
         | will expand.
        
           | mrguyorama wrote:
           | Yeah but "let sit in fridge for a week" is probably not a
           | great instruction in the middle of an easy weeknight dinner.
        
         | sllabres wrote:
         | Heat your plates (e.g. with the cooking water) and rub dry to
         | prevent your your delicious meal get cold too soon. This is of
         | course not only good for pasta.
        
         | yamtaddle wrote:
         | Relatedly, I spent far too long cooking my pizza sauce,
         | treating it like other red sauces.
         | 
         | You can just mix tomato sauce, oregano, salt, and pepper, then
         | slap it on the pie. It cooks in the oven. No need to pre-cook
         | it.
         | 
         | [EDIT] unless you're gonna use it for dipping. There's a reason
         | places have a separate "marinara", often, for that purpose.
         | Even giving your pizza sauce a quick simmer will make it a lot
         | better for dipping. Raw pizza sauce is... palatable, but not
         | great, for dipping.
        
         | ahallock wrote:
         | I agree that people need to learn to combine them (add a little
         | butter, too!). I like both variations, honestly. With most
         | things, it's not either or, and there are different taste
         | profiles. It's like variations on pizza where the sauce is
         | added last.
        
         | moffkalast wrote:
         | > Unlike rice, it's fine to "soak" pasta in the sauce
         | 
         | Risotto would like a word.
        
           | gpderetta wrote:
           | You still don't soak risotto, you keep the liquid content
           | within limits.
           | 
           | Also different rices.
        
         | efxhoy wrote:
         | I learned this from the sopranos: https://youtu.be/J2TkCgLooRU
        
         | maliker wrote:
         | Someone introduced me to making red sauce by basically just
         | cooking tomatoes for as much time as I have, and it's now my
         | go-to red sauce. Really amazing how good just well-cooked
         | tomatoes are. https://www.seriouseats.com/frankies-tomato-
         | sauce-recipe
        
           | bckr wrote:
           | +1 just for the link to Serious Eats.
           | 
           | If you have a recipe in mind to make, look it up on Serious
           | Eats. Their MO is to give you ideas on how to level up each
           | recipe (compared to food network or similar) and explain the
           | principles behind the techniques.
        
             | kristjansson wrote:
             | And really do look them up. In my experience they've
             | completely lost the SEO game, so SRPs are not a reliable
             | entry point to their (wealth of) content.
        
           | moffkalast wrote:
           | Well that should also be how they make tomato sauce you buy
           | in the store, it's just filtered so you don't get seeds and
           | large pieces of peel in it.
        
             | eddsh1994 wrote:
             | You can reduce the olive oil/salt for a lower-
             | calorie/sodium version which is good for weight loss/high
             | blood pressure
        
         | fedeb95 wrote:
         | The following is well known by Italians, but apparently not the
         | rest of the world so I'll post here. I'll use italian names
         | whenever I don't know the english ones so you can search them
         | and make a cool impression on friends. This is the base of any
         | tomato based sauce:
         | 
         | 1. Choose your soffritto base. Onion or garlic are fine, more
         | exotic variations include scalogno or porro.
         | 
         | 2. Choose your tomato. Canned, fresh, whatever, just keep in
         | mind that fresh ones may need longer cooking times. As for
         | canned, check that they contain no seasoning at all!
         | 
         | 3. Choose your grease. Oil or butter are fine, the standard is
         | olive oil though. It may be hard to find proper olive oil
         | outside of Italy I'm told.
         | 
         | 4. Start cooking. Put your oil in a large pan, enough to
         | contain all the pasta you plan to use afterwards. Not too much
         | oil: just enough to cover the pan with a thin layer. Don't
         | start heating the pan.
         | 
         | 5. Cut your onion or whatever in small pieces and add them to
         | the oil. Now turn on the heat at a reasonable level. Not too
         | high but not low. Don't touch the onion!
         | 
         | 6. When the onion looks a bit browny (not dark brown), add the
         | tomato and lower at minimum the heat. If you have a
         | thermometer, ideally you don't want to cross 60 degrees celsius
         | over all the cooking period. This period can vary between 10
         | minutes and 60 minutes, it gives different tastes (all good) to
         | the sauce. If you opt for the shortest time, go back at step 5
         | and at the same time start the next step.
         | 
         | 7. Put 1l of water for every 100g of pasta in a pot. Add salt.
         | With experience you'll get the right amount, usually I use
         | about a small fist for two people (160-200g). Heat up the water
         | and wait until boiling.
         | 
         | 8. Drop the pasta in the water. Start a chronometer. Almost
         | immediately mix it or otherwise it will stick. Wait a couple of
         | minutes and mix again.
         | 
         | 9. Meanwhile the sauce will start bubbling and, depending on
         | your kitchen, you may need to mix it. If you see large
         | discrepancies in texture, definitely mix. Otherwise don't. If
         | it becomes too dry, add some water from the cooking pasta to
         | the sauce.
         | 
         | 10. When the chronometer is at cooking_time_on_pasta_packaging
         | - 2 minutes, take a glass of water and fill it with water from
         | the pasta pot. Dry the pasta, and put it in the pan with the
         | sauce. Make the heat level for the pan a bit higher.
         | 
         | 11. Cook it until "al dente", that is still a bit hard at the
         | inside, but not completely. If the sauce dries too much (it
         | should, if not turn the heat higher), add the water you kept in
         | the glass. This step is where science stops and art begins: you
         | need to calibrate your taste to your desired results and in
         | turn calibrate water and heating. During all this step, mix
         | your pasta in the same direction continuously. This is called
         | "risottatura". Taste the pasta while cooking often.
         | 
         | 11. Take everything off the fire, serve, add parmisan.
         | 
         | Edit: look at maccard comment for water and salt because I
         | don't recall the right quantities. After a while you go by eye.
         | 
         | Edit 2: preventing more comments on oil, that is merely my very
         | limited experience and I'd say, as a rule of thumb (not
         | incontrovertible truth), that if you like your oil alone with
         | bread it is a good oil.
        
           | maccard wrote:
           | This post is wrong in many areas,
           | 
           | > Canned, fresh, whatever, just keep in mind that fresh ones
           | may need longer cooking times.
           | 
           | Unless you know you've got _excellent_ fresh tomatoes, canned
           | ones will win.
           | 
           | > Oil or butter are fine
           | 
           | Cooking your onion in butter is going to give a very very
           | different result to using oil. Personally speaking, not one I
           | would recommend.
           | 
           | > It may be hard to find proper olive oil outside of Italy
           | I'm told.
           | 
           | High quality dop/docg olive oil is readily available all over
           | the world, and there are plenty of places all around the
           | mediterranean that have olive oil as good as Italian oil.
           | 
           | > Put 1l of water for every 100g of pasta in a pot. Add salt.
           | 
           | This is way too much water. serious eats[0] has an excellent
           | article that is well worth reading if you care about pasta.
           | You also should give an indication of how much salt to use -
           | it's way way way more than you think it is. Like, tablespoon
           | of salt per litre of water salty.
           | 
           | [0] https://www.seriouseats.com/how-to-cook-pasta-salt-water-
           | boi...
        
             | johnmaguire wrote:
             | >> > It may be hard to find proper olive oil outside of
             | Italy I'm told.
             | 
             | > High quality dop/docg olive oil is readily available all
             | over the world, and there are plenty of places all around
             | the mediterranean that have olive oil as good as Italian
             | oil.
             | 
             | There's a whole rabbit hole you can go down here. It's not
             | clear cut AFAICT.[0]
             | 
             | [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olive_oil_regulation_and_
             | adult...
        
               | maccard wrote:
               | Nowhere in that link does it say that it only happens on
               | exports. It's also true of pretty much any product, e.g.
               | wine [0], parmesan [1], champagne [2] .
               | 
               | [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wine_fraud#Examples
               | 
               | [1] https://www.forbes.com/sites/rebeccahughes/2022/06/02
               | /cheese...
               | 
               | [2] https://www.thedrinksbusiness.com/2022/12/e2m-of-
               | fake-champa...
        
               | johnmaguire wrote:
               | I'm not saying it only happens on exports, nor am I
               | arguing it happens with only olive oil. I'm responding
               | directly to your claim that "high quality dop/docg olive
               | oil is readily available all over the world."
               | 
               | It may be available, but readily available seems like a
               | bit of a stretch to me. It can be deceptively difficult
               | to obtain.
               | 
               | > It's reliably reported that 80% of the Italian olive
               | oil on the market is fraudulent.[0]
               | 
               | [0] https://www.forbes.com/sites/ceciliarodriguez/2016/02
               | /10/the...
        
             | thiht wrote:
             | >> Canned, fresh, whatever, just keep in mind that fresh
             | ones may need longer cooking times. > > Unless you know
             | you've got _excellent_ fresh tomatoes, canned ones will
             | win.
             | 
             | I would agree on this one. I live in France, so not that
             | far from Italy, and our fresh tomatoes suck compared to
             | Italian fresh tomatoes. Italian cuisine use simple products
             | with few transformations because their products are
             | amazing. If I try to do something as basic as tomato-
             | mozzarella at home, it'll never be as good as the same
             | Italian recipe because our tomatoes don't grow in the same
             | weather.
             | 
             | Italian cuisine is very hard to make at home as well as
             | they do it because of the quality of their raw products.
        
               | fedeb95 wrote:
               | In this case yes, canned is better. Also longer cooking
               | times. A trick for canned products is checking the
               | indications of when they were harvested, for Italian
               | products you have letters for the year of production, I
               | bet there are similar rules in other countries as well.
               | Better to get tomatoes harvested in summer and not too
               | long ago
        
             | fedeb95 wrote:
             | I disagree about tomatoes, you're right that to have a
             | difference in taste of tomato alone you need very good
             | tomatoes, but I was assuming the good taste of all the
             | ingredients used. Anyway, using fresh tomatoes, especially
             | if small, changes a dish completely because of its texture.
             | 
             | About oil it's clear, I think, if not sorry, that that is
             | my experience, and as such should be interpreted. If you
             | have good oil, all is good. I like to use butter, it's not
             | standard but it's used. Of course you need less butter than
             | the same amount of oil you'd use.
             | 
             | As for water/salt, you may be right and I will update my
             | comment. I go by eye because I'm accustomed to the right
             | quantities (or I taste the water for salt) so I was going
             | by memory.
        
               | maccard wrote:
               | > but I was assuming the good taste of all the
               | ingredients used.
               | 
               | In that case your entire post can be replaced with "use
               | high quality ingredients, cook them".
               | 
               | > Anyway, using fresh tomatoes, especially if small,
               | changes a dish completely because of its texture.
               | 
               | The texture is different, but "fresh" tomatoes that are
               | readily available to most people even in season from
               | their greengrocers are a poor substitue for even
               | supermarket tinned tomatoes. My experience in Italy (and
               | france/spain/croatia) is that excellent stuff is
               | _available_, but it's not necessary "just" to use italian
               | tomatoes - there's plenty of awful tomatoes available,
               | and a large amount of the high quality tomatoes that
               | _are_ grown in italy are canned and available outside
               | italy; again DOCG San Marzano Tinned Tomatoes are
               | available in supermarkets here in the UK.
               | 
               | > About oil it's clear, I think, if not sorry, that that
               | is my experience, and as such should be interpreted.
               | 
               | It _really_ didn't come across as that to me, it came
        
               | fedeb95 wrote:
               | Again on butter: historically it was used in the north of
               | Italy a lot, especially in the mountains, where oil
               | wasn't available. My father didn't know what oil was when
               | he was a boy. It was used in the center and south of
               | Italy before it spread to everywhere. Today you will
               | almost always find oil used, but I think it's an
               | interesting variation. You can also do a split of oil and
               | butter.
        
               | jaclaz wrote:
               | Roughly the dividing line between use of oil vs. butter
               | (or lard) in traditional regional cuisine was slightly
               | north of Bologna, until relatively recent times (I would
               | say until post 2nd world war).
               | 
               | South, oil.
               | 
               | North, butter.
               | 
               | My grandmother (from Parma) firmly believed that olive
               | oil was to be used uncooked for salads and similar.
               | 
               | JFYI:
               | 
               | https://www.cittadellolio.it/2017/06/15/olio-
               | cucina-4-secoli...
        
           | fedeb95 wrote:
           | This is the basic: many variations are possible, like heating
           | oil before putting in the onion, onion cooking temperature,
           | adding spices (but the only one I really like added is
           | pepper). Also risottatura times can vary: some recipes are so
           | extreme as cooking the raw pasta directly in the sauce, but
           | unless you're making those specific recipes this is not
           | recommended. A good time is 4 minutes, also 1 is good, if you
           | want you can skip risottatura but at least do a copule of
           | turns to pasta with sauce to mix everything together.
        
             | gpderetta wrote:
             | I have cooked the past directly in the sauce quite a few
             | times. It tastes way better, but it takes way longer, so I
             | don't bother much :)
        
           | SSLy wrote:
           | All of those are true but >It may be hard to find proper
           | olive oil outside of Italy I'm told.
           | 
           | Spanish and Greeks have nothing to be shy about here.
        
             | fedeb95 wrote:
             | It wasn't meant as a criticism for other countries oil, I
             | just am not aware of them and I haven't heard of them. If
             | you like your oil with bread alone, the oil is a good oil.
        
             | timeon wrote:
             | > Spanish and Greeks
             | 
             | Portugal as well.
        
         | nlh wrote:
         | Two related tips while on the subject:
         | 
         | 1) Salt your pasta water! Pasta is meant to be cooked in salty
         | water that, according and excellently-put by Samin Nosrat
         | (Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat) - "is reminiscent of the sea".
         | 
         | 2) Save and use a splash of ("dirty") pasta water - aka the
         | water the pasta was just cooked in - when you're tossing the
         | pasta with the sauce. The water is filled with delightful
         | liquified starch from the pasta, and it helps the sauce coat
         | the pasta more thoroughly.
        
           | williamdclt wrote:
           | Some more pasta water insights:
           | 
           | - A good ratio of salt/water is one tablespoon per litre (or
           | gallon). Reduce if the sauce is going to be very salty
           | already (eg carbonara). We're talking kosher salt here
           | (specifically Diamon Crystal), if using table salt it's
           | probably going to be half of that: salt density varies a lot
           | depending on the type.
           | 
           | - Cook your pasta is _as little_ water as possible. For some
           | reason there's some myth that you want to cook pasta in a
           | large volume of water: that's BS. What makes pasta water
           | "liquid gold" is the starch that comes from the pasta, you
           | want that as concentrated as possible.
        
             | Spivak wrote:
             | Oh god please don't to 1 TB of salt per gallon you need way
             | more. I would do 4TB because although it's more than 1%
             | salt it's easy to remember and close enough. As long as you
             | stay less than 2% you're probably good for average salt
             | tolerance.
        
               | cossatot wrote:
               | I think he meant 'quart' rather than 'gallon' because the
               | first reference is for 'litre'
        
               | williamdclt wrote:
               | Sorry yes! As cossatot points out in the sibling comment,
               | I meant quart. Not used to american metrics.
        
             | dfxm12 wrote:
             | _A good ratio of salt /water is one tablespoon per litre
             | (or gallon)_
             | 
             | A gallon is 3.5-4 litres. This doesn't seem right.
             | 
             |  _Cook your pasta is _as little_ water as possible._
             | 
             | This advice is worthless without some baseline like g of
             | pasta to l water or how much water to cover your pasta
             | with. You should cook your pasta in a large volume of water
             | so the water will still be hot when you add the pasta and
             | the pasta will be cooked as quickly as possible. Too little
             | water and you risk the pasta sticking to itself as well.
             | All this in mind, properly cooked pasta with diluted pasta
             | water is a better outcome than starchy pasta water with
             | pasta that has an odd texture. Maybe that last bit is
             | personal preference, but when eating pasta, the first thing
             | I notice is the texture of the pasta, not the starchiness
             | of the pasta water. Hell, maybe we're thinking about the
             | same amount of water, and you've just seen people try to
             | cook with comically large amounts, I dunno.
        
             | CBLT wrote:
             | +1 to the as little water as possible tip, that's worked
             | well for me. The emulsifying properties transmit flavors
             | really well, I like to infuse a tiny bit of oil to stir in.
        
           | antognini wrote:
           | Pasta water should be "as salty as tears."
        
           | Vinnl wrote:
           | What does salting your pasta water do, other than aligning
           | with how it was "meant to be"? I've never noticed a
           | difference, but also didn't salt it that extensively, and
           | this was years ago.
        
             | michaelchisari wrote:
             | You need to salt it enough that the pasta itself becomes
             | salty. So the sauce you use doesn't have to have much salt,
             | a pinch or two, and the pasta carries the saltiness
             | instead.
        
             | muzani wrote:
             | Without salt, the pasta tastes plain. You can't really make
             | up for it by salting the sauce more, the pasta carries it
             | better.
             | 
             | And in dishes with less salt, you'd normally salt the pasta
             | and not the sauce.
        
             | ghostpepper wrote:
             | It makes the pasta salty. It's not just pasta - almost any
             | dish will be better if you salt/season as you go instead of
             | adding it on top at the end
        
               | leephillips wrote:
               | Also the water will boil at a higher temperature. I
               | wonder if this affects the texture of the pasta. I
               | suppose it will cook somewhat faster.
        
               | halkony wrote:
               | In college I got into an argument about this, believing
               | this was the primary reason to salt the water. I was
               | wrong -- at best it raises the boiling temp by 2F which
               | is negligible.
        
               | leephillips wrote:
               | Yeah, I used to think that too, but later I suspected it
               | was actually as you say.
        
             | throwaway743 wrote:
             | In addition to flavoring, it helps the pasta not stick
             | together when you're boiling it. Add a small amount of
             | olive oil as extra help for that
        
               | thiht wrote:
               | > Add a small amount of olive oil as extra help for that
               | 
               | It really doesn't. Oil doesn't mix with water. The only
               | thing it does is oiling your pasta when you drain the
               | water, which prevents the sauce from sticking correctly.
               | 
               | Pasta naturally don't stick together if you use a pot
               | large enough, with enough water. And even then it doesn't
               | stick, I honestly don't know how people make their pasta
               | stick.
        
               | gpderetta wrote:
               | > with enough water.
               | 
               | that's another secret to making pasta: abundant water,
               | not just barely covering it.
        
           | mattrighetti wrote:
           | 1a) Salt your water when it reaches boiling temperature, then
           | put pasta in it.
        
           | kristjansson wrote:
           | Not sure who said it, but I've had the advice "enough salt to
           | scare your guests" in my head for years. Adding the salt
           | after the water boils is also very, very satisfying.
        
           | 4ggr0 wrote:
           | > "is reminiscent of the sea"
           | 
           | Had lots of funny moments in my life relating to salting
           | pasta water. Almost all the people I know put like two
           | pinches of salt into the water. Which causes them to look at
           | me like I'm a psycho when I pour salt in for almost a full
           | second, straight out of the container.
           | 
           | I can +1 both of your tips, I follow them both since I
           | learned to cook and they're a (small but effective) game-
           | changer.
        
             | raldi wrote:
             | For our big pasta pot, I put in a literal handful.
        
             | duped wrote:
             | I agree it's kind of absurd to "salt" your pasta water with
             | a pinch of salt (you're doing nothing!), but for me it's a
             | lot more efficient to let the sauce to have the saltiness
             | than to waste handfuls of salt going into water that I'm
             | going to dump out.
             | 
             | INB4, "save your pasta water." I don't have a big kitchen
             | or freezer, a pot full of water is a giant waste of space
             | for me.
        
               | bobbylarrybobby wrote:
               | The reason to salt the water is not to add saltiness to
               | the pasta but to raise the water's boiling point.
        
               | williamdclt wrote:
               | it's really not, it doesn't change the boiling point any
               | sort of meaningfully.
        
               | gpderetta wrote:
               | Boil the water to evaporation and recover the salt!
               | 
               | disclaimer: it might be /slightly/ energy inefficient.
               | 
               | But salt your water, salting the sauce is just not the
               | same.
        
               | williamdclt wrote:
               | - Lots of salt in the sauce means you'll have very salty
               | sauce with undersalted pasta. It might work out fine if
               | the sauce coats really well, but will still be slightly
               | different.
               | 
               | - Ingredients cook differently when salted. Not sure
               | about pasta specifically: I _think_ I can taste a
               | difference between pasta cooked in salted water and pasta
               | salted after being cooked, but I'm not certain.
               | 
               | - Definitely don't keep pasta water around, it's just for
               | the sauce you're currently making
        
               | duped wrote:
               | This is missing the forest for the trees. The point is
               | not to make restaurant quality pasta and sauce, it's to
               | not have to buy salt from the store every week. It's
               | wasteful for little benefit.
               | 
               | I can't ever say I've felt like cooking pasta without
               | salt is "under salted." Is it as savory and delicious as
               | what I'd buy at a restaurant? No - but having done it
               | like that in the past I just think the benefits are
               | marginal for how much you waste.
        
               | williamdclt wrote:
               | I wouldn't say it's "forest for the trees", but I see the
               | point that it's a choice of trade-offs.
               | 
               | I make pasta _very_ often, I love it and want it to be as
               | good as it possibly can, so I'm very happy optimising for
               | taste. FWIW I use a tablespoon of salt per portion, and
               | get a 1.3kg pack of salt every few months: hardly a huge
               | waste!
        
               | nameless912 wrote:
               | Most people just dip a coffee mug in the pasta just
               | before they drain it to keep some water back. I don't
               | think I've ever heard of anyone freezing pasta water.
               | 
               | As for "salty water vs. salty sauce", the better way from
               | a culinary perspective is both. Over salting one thing to
               | compensate for another thing often leads to uneven
               | flavor; if everything is salted roughly appropriately it
               | all kinda comes together without any extra effort. I
               | suggest trying it, hell maybe even do an A/B test. It's
               | subtle, but salt penetrating the pasta during cooking
               | makes it taste that much better.
        
               | stephen_g wrote:
               | The thing about saving pasta water is about not throwing
               | it all away when draining the pasta - just keeping a
               | little back to toss in with the pasta and the sauce. It's
               | not saving it for later.
        
             | gpderetta wrote:
             | About as salty as the sea is also my rule of thumb (of
             | course how salty is the sea you are familiar with varies :)
             | )
        
               | williamdclt wrote:
               | Unless you really love salt, you want much less salinity
               | in pasta than the sea (1-2% for pasta, 3.5% in the sea).
               | Kenji Alt-Lopez says that you want your pasta water "as
               | salty as you remember the sea is", not as salty as the
               | sea actually is because it's way too much!
        
               | gpderetta wrote:
               | Maybe it is not exactly as salty as the sea :)
        
               | themeiguoren wrote:
               | If you've ever been at sea and tried to use seawater to
               | cook pasta, you'll realize that it's too much salt. 1:1
               | seawater to fresh water turns out perfect (and saves your
               | fresh water).
        
       | jimt1234 wrote:
       | Managing my money. For much of my career, or just my adult life,
       | I never did anything related to money management. I just worked
       | and saved. That's it.
       | 
       | A little context: Growing up, no one ever talked about managing
       | their money. No one had any money to manage. Everyone in my
       | circle lived paycheck-to-paycheck. Any talk about money
       | management was for rich folk, and that wasn't us. So basically, I
       | never learned any of this stuff. Next, my career hit its stride
       | right after the Enron scandal, and then the early-2000s dot-com
       | meltdown. So I just saw investment/retirement accounts, and the
       | stock market in general, as a big con to steal my money. (If you
       | don't know about the Enron scandal, and you wanna be depressed,
       | read up.) Anyway, I was full of FUD, and I was just gonna keep
       | stuffing money in my mattress.
       | 
       | Then, a random conversation with a trusted colleague led to him
       | spending an entire afternoon explaining it all to me. He
       | explained that his various investments were extremely low-risk,
       | and he was still making thousands every year, and that my
       | mattress-stuffing strategy was leaving a lot of easy money on the
       | table. It was the way he explained it all, and the fact that I
       | trusted/respected him that changed everything for me. I'll always
       | owe him.
        
         | e10jc wrote:
         | I feel you on this! As a follow up: what are some of the top
         | tips you would recommend?
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | ralmidani wrote:
       | Putting off an annual checkup with a PCP (I'm 42, and the last
       | PCP I had was a pediatrician). I had long suspected my
       | cholesterol and triglycerides were high due to family history and
       | my excessive love for cheese, and last week that suspicion was
       | confirmed. I'm now more resolute than ever on lifestyle changes
       | (exercise, less red meat, getting most of my calcium from 2%
       | milk).
       | 
       | On the bright side, I also got reassurance that outside the lipid
       | panel, everything else (sugar, kidney and liver function, PSA,
       | etc.) seems normal.
       | 
       | Other than laziness and procrastination, a huge part of me was
       | dreading being told I need a prostate exam and colonoscopy, but
       | fortunately I don't need either for at least 3 more years.
        
         | xwowsersx wrote:
         | > less red meat
         | 
         | IIUC, they no longer believe that lipid cholesterol levels are
         | directly correlated with intake of dietary cholesterol. See,
         | for example: https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/what-
         | should-you...
         | 
         | > The biggest influence on blood cholesterol level is the mix
         | of fats and carbohydrates in your diet--not the amount of
         | cholesterol you eat from food.
         | 
         | > Although it remains important to limit the amount of
         | cholesterol you eat, especially if you have diabetes, for most
         | people dietary cholesterol is not as problematic as once
         | believed.
         | 
         | I would recommend committing to getting a full blood panel
         | (specific to your sex, male or female) at least every 6 months,
         | especially if you are going to be making significant changes to
         | your diet. This was a game-changer for me. I started working
         | with a practice that does health optimization and blood
         | work/labs and has doctors who know how to interpret the results
         | and give recommendations based on them. For me, I had several
         | biomarkers significantly improve by consuming more red meat. I
         | hadn't been trying to avoid red meat consciously, just somehow
         | over the years I started consuming a lot more chicken and
         | turkey and really wasn't having enough beef, etc.
        
           | kingnothing wrote:
           | Red meat is a carcinogen according to the WHO.
           | 
           | https://www.iarc.who.int/wp-
           | content/uploads/2018/07/pr240_E....
           | 
           | https://worldanimalfoundation.org/advocate/farm-
           | animals/para....
        
             | Georgelemental wrote:
             | Are there any randomized controlled trials that show this?
             | (As opposed to no-randomized observational studies)
        
             | generalizations wrote:
             | That's not true. The WHO thinks red meat _might_ be a
             | carcinogen. From the Q &A mentioned in your first link [0].
             | Also, I would not consider your second link a reliable
             | source. An animal-rights group is not unbiased.
             | 
             | > In the case of red meat, the classification is based on
             | limited evidence from epidemiological studies showing
             | positive associations between eating red meat and
             | developing colorectal cancer as well as strong mechanistic
             | evidence.
             | 
             | > Limited evidence means that a positive association has
             | been observed between exposure to the agent and cancer but
             | that other explanations for the observations (technically
             | termed chance, bias, or confounding) could not be ruled
             | out.
             | 
             | [0] https://www.iarc.who.int/wp-
             | content/uploads/2018/11/Monograp...
        
               | DantesKite wrote:
               | My suspicion is that it's the sodium nitrates used in
               | treating certain meats that's causing a lot of the
               | cancer. But this is just speculation on my end.
        
           | rubicon33 wrote:
           | How do you go about getting a full blood panel every 6 mo?
           | Doesn't that come from your primary care doctor? Mine would
           | think I'm insane if I asked for a full blood panel every 6
           | months at my age with no health issues. But I see the utility
           | in it (trends in the data, anomalies, etc.). So how to do it?
        
             | xwowsersx wrote:
             | Yeah, you're right. No way in hell I could get my doctor to
             | get a full blood panel every 6 months. Even if I could get
             | him to get me one, he won't order all the stuff I want to
             | see. So I use a boutique, turnkey telemedicine practice
             | (I'm not sure how else to describe it). I order the blood
             | panel and then go over the results with one of their expert
             | patient care coordinators and then speak with one or more
             | of their doctors as needed (all over Zoom). The one I use
             | is Marek Health, but there are others
             | (https://marekhealth.com/)
             | 
             | I think my initial intake was $200-300 to get the full
             | blood panel and have a follow-up with a patient care
             | coordinator as well as an appointment with the doctor (who
             | is incredible). At the time I ordered the blood panel, I
             | wasn't even planning on having a long-term relationship
             | with them, but after seeing some stuff on my blood panel
             | that I wanted to work on and having them come up with a
             | plan, speaking to the docs regularly, I've just gotten so
             | much value out of it. The whole thing made me feel like
             | "wow, this is what healthcare should feel like."
             | 
             | Sadly, it's all out of pocket, but it's the last thing on
             | the list of things I would complain about having to spend
             | money on.
             | 
             | For some people, full bloods every 6 months might be
             | overkill, I guess it just depends on what you have going on
             | (not that I had major issues, but definitely things to
             | address and others to optimize). But without a full panel,
             | you're just flying blind. Sometimes, I get the panel and
             | nothing has moved at all and there's nothing to do. Other
             | times there are things I can easily address and the more
             | panels I have, the more of a personal health profile I have
             | to work with.
        
               | william_T wrote:
               | What physician is saying no to preventative medicine paid
               | for by the consumer? Why do doctors think we are visiting
               | for their benefit? I would be very interested in the
               | arguments against blood labs. For the doctor, they draw
               | blood and review results, which is something they do
               | every day. For the patient, you draw blood and review
               | results and pay for it, which is something normal people
               | are not greatly inconvenienced by. The money may be the
               | thing, but why would your physician know your budget? If
               | you want a zero risk preventative procedure, the doctor
               | should tell you how much it is, not give financial
               | advice.
               | 
               | What argument would a doctor have against order a wider
               | range of tests? The blood is outside of your body, and
               | the physician is not in the lab running the centrifuge or
               | mixing chemical agents to react.
        
               | schrijver wrote:
               | The reasoning I heard from a GP is: the more values you
               | get back, the higher the chance of a false positive. A GP
               | who has blood tested will do so based on your symptoms.
               | Get the lab to do all the possible tests, and chances are
               | at least one of them will be off but since you had no
               | symptoms you're going to have to test again since it
               | might be a false positive. All this takes a lot of time
               | and creates feelings of insecurity with the patient. So
               | where I'm from, there are no 'check-ups' within insured
               | or government funded health care, you strictly react on
               | symptoms. There are only checks for specific forms of
               | cancer and you're invited for this specifically. Don't
               | know whether this is the best way, but it's an
               | explanation for the approach.
        
               | ryandrake wrote:
               | Every Primary Care doctor visit I've ever had in my life
               | (note: USA) felt like a cross between an assembly line
               | and the DMV. It's all about rushing you through the visit
               | as quickly as possible, spending as little time with the
               | actual expensive doctor as possible, and getting you out
               | the door so that other cu$tomer$ can get crammed through
               | after you. Blood labs? They aint got time for that!
               | 
               | And nowadays, to make matters worse, I have to book an
               | appointment for this delightful experience 2 months in
               | advance for my existing doctor, and five months in
               | advance for a "new patient visit" at a new doctor.
               | Everything around Family Doctors says "go away".
        
               | chordalkeyboard wrote:
               | > What physician is saying no to preventative medicine
               | paid for by the consumer?
               | 
               | its more common than you think; and many professionals
               | resent the idea that its anything resembling a 'free
               | market' where a 'consumer' (patient) can 'order services'
               | without their provider's approval.
               | 
               | as you might imagine there are reasonable-sounding prima
               | facie arguments for both sides of this discussion.
        
               | qorrect wrote:
               | I have to fight with the doctor every time I want
               | something he doesn't deem necessary.
        
           | boringg wrote:
           | Eating less red meat is about lowering your inflammation in
           | your veins - which is a major part of the battle for
           | atherosclerosis. Agreed it's not about your dietary
           | cholesterol. Dairy fat is a big issue for atherosclerosis.
           | 
           | However risk factors are individual so take everyones
           | commentary as educational but apply on what's relevant look
           | at your on individual use case.
        
             | rubicon33 wrote:
             | It's not red meat causing the inflammation.
             | 
             | It's sugar.
        
               | boringg wrote:
               | Sugar also a culprit - its not a red meat vs sugar thing.
               | However one of the top researchers in cholesterol in the
               | US told me specifically to eat red meat once a year as it
               | has inflammation qualities that are risky for people who
               | have higher risk factors for a cardiac event.
        
           | ralmidani wrote:
           | For the general population, meat and eggs are OK within
           | reasonable amounts of consumption. But those with genetic
           | susceptibility to high cholesterol need to be more careful
           | about their diet than the general population. Same story with
           | diabetes and hypertension.
           | 
           | Edit: FWIW, I'm not planning on abandoning red meat and eggs,
           | but striving for no more than 4 eggs a week and 1, or max 2,
           | servings of red meat. I would rather enjoy beef and lamb for
           | the rest of my life and avoid ever having to eat only egg
           | whites.
        
         | Jommi wrote:
         | FYI the above is american-focused healthcare language. There
         | are no annual checkups in most other countries outside of
         | certain age or risk groups.
         | 
         | You might however get a health checkup from occupational
         | healthcare sometimes!
         | 
         | Just putting this a note here for non-american readers so they
         | don't get confused.
        
           | throwaway1777 wrote:
           | That being said most people in America don't get annual
           | checkups unless they have issues either. And there's also a
           | school of thought that more preventative medicine would be a
           | good thing, so maybe other countries should consider it.
        
           | floor2 wrote:
           | That's kind of shocking to me. The normal narrative is about
           | how much better the European model is for healthcare, but
           | then you're saying it's missing one of the most fundamental
           | and effective aspects of healthcare (preventative care &
           | early intervention)?
           | 
           | Do you go to the dentist for regular cleaning & exams or only
           | go if you have a toothache?
           | 
           | Annual checkups seem so critical to overall health outcomes-
           | it's far better to catch cancer at stage 1 than stage 4, or
           | to address blood pressure before having a stroke or heart
           | attack rather than after, I'd have thought they'd be strongly
           | prioritized and incentivized my government-controlled
           | healthcare systems.
        
           | mijoharas wrote:
           | Yep, I had to Google PCP (I know one acronym PCP, and I was
           | _fairly_ sure that wasn't what the commenter was referring
           | to).
           | 
           | Primary Care Physician for anyone else wondering (equivalent
           | to a GP in England I think)
        
           | roncesvalles wrote:
           | My family doctor in Canada does an annual check-up (BMI,
           | basic physical, blood and urine) that's covered by provincial
           | healthcare. In addition, those over 50 get a colon cancer
           | check every two years that used to be a full colonoscopy but
           | now it's a new poop sample test.
           | 
           | I'm surprised other countries with free government healthcare
           | don't do that. I would assume it's more economical to detect
           | signs of serious issues early.
        
             | digianarchist wrote:
             | Which province? I've never been offered this from my doctor
             | in Ontario, in fact when I requested blood tests it was
             | denied so I had to drive to the US to get my own.
        
             | Semaphor wrote:
             | > I would assume
             | 
             | So would I (Germany), yet it's only one blood test every 3
             | years from the age of 35 on.
        
           | toomuchtodo wrote:
           | Tangentially, it's common for your employer's health
           | insurance provider to provide a discount if get an annual
           | physical.
           | 
           | Edit: (US specific)
        
             | samsari wrote:
             | Again, this is very USA-specific.
        
         | Loughla wrote:
         | I learned from my father's generation that regular check-ups
         | were vital. My oldest two uncles died from heart issues in
         | their early 60's. The next two and my father have made it to
         | their 70's and show no signs of stopping. There isn't really
         | any difference in lifestyles between the dead and alive ones,
         | other than going to the doctor regularly, and taking whatever
         | medicine they are prescribed. I guess one uncle quit smoking.
         | So that's probably good for him.
        
         | hacker_junky wrote:
         | That's great news that your cholesterol and triglycerides were
         | high and that everything else looks normal! Are there any other
         | tips that you would suggest for making lifestyle changes to
         | help lower cholesterol and triglycerides?
        
           | broguinn wrote:
           | High cholesterol runs in the family (my grandfather exercises
           | 7 days a week, is thin as a rail, and had a heart attack at
           | 60). I'm 31 and learned that I have high LDL two years ago.
           | 
           | I can only speak to my case, so YMMV. Through a liver blood
           | panel, I learned that I had high bilirubin, SHBG, and GGH -
           | which indicate compromised gallbladder and liver function.
           | One doctor suggested I have my gallbladder removed.
           | 
           | Instead, through research on pubmed and examine.com, I was
           | pointed to TUDCA - a bile salt that helps clear cholesterol
           | and biliary sludge. After two months of supplementation, I've
           | seen a severe reduction in intestinal discomfort - and I
           | suspect a follow-up blood test will show a reduction in my
           | high liver panel and LDL.
           | 
           | If you have abnormally high LDL for your body type and
           | lifestyle, I would encourage you to get a liver panel and
           | look into TUDCA.
        
           | ralmidani wrote:
           | I'm not a Physician or Dietitian, but my dad is a
           | Gastroenterologist and my wife is a Registered Dietitian, so
           | some of their knowledge rubs off on me. And my PCP gave me
           | some tips last week that are still fresh in my mind.
           | 
           | - Exercise can help lower cholesterol slightly. But try to
           | have a reasonable balance between cardio and resistance
           | training. Too much cardio risks having some muscles actually
           | weaken if you maintain a large calorie deficit.
           | 
           | - Diet-wise, you want to go for sustainable weight
           | management, so no extreme or gimmicky diets. Avoid Atkins and
           | Keto (unless a professional tells you you actually need to
           | avoid carbs), extreme fasting, etc.
           | 
           | - 3 moderate meals a day are better than 2 or 1 large
           | feast(s) because they keep your metabolism going for most of
           | the day. Your body can adapt to feast/famine and can go into
           | ketosis, but these are survival mechanisms and harmful, even
           | counterproductive, if you keep your body in these modes for
           | long periods of time (you might even gain weight in
           | feast/famine mode because when you do eat, your body converts
           | as much sugar into fat as it possibly can, in order to
           | prepare reserves for the next "famine").
           | 
           | - Some fasting is good for spirituality and to teach self-
           | control, but it should not be a permanent state (I plan to
           | fast Mondays and Thursdays as much as possible, leading up to
           | Ramadan in about 50 days). Fasting every single day for the
           | rest of your life is not realistic and probably does more
           | harm than good.
           | 
           | - Eat raw nuts (raw almonds have been observed to lower total
           | cholesterol, lower LDL, and raise the HDL/LDL ratio) as much
           | as you can within your calorie allowance. In general, more
           | plant-based protein and fats, and less animal-based is very
           | helpful (but watch out for high saturated fat from coconuts,
           | and too much soy can mess up men's hormones). Edit: the soy
           | evidence is not conclusive - see comments below.
           | 
           | - Keep your calorie allowance reasonable and sustainable, and
           | try to eat a good variety of fruits, vegetables, grains,
           | beans, legume, meats, etc. with moderation in everything.
        
             | boringg wrote:
             | I'm going to ask for a reference on the soy comment. I know
             | there's a lot of fear mongering on soy but I haven't heard
             | of any studies to prove that.
             | 
             | Rest of the advice seems good. Lower fat in diet
             | (specifically dairy fats), increase exercise, higher fiber,
             | lower sugar, more nuts/avocados/salmon.
             | 
             | Treat the disease and not the numbers - so look at all your
             | risk factors for atherosclerosis.
        
               | ralmidani wrote:
               | I'm not suggesting avoiding soy altogether, just
               | cautioning against excessive consumption of it. Studies
               | are showing mixed conclusions, but it's not all fear
               | mongering:
               | 
               | Study showing some effect:
               | https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15735098/
               | 
               | Study showing little effect:
               | https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/11880595/
               | 
               | While the evidence is inconclusive, I wouldn't take
               | chances if I were trying to have kids. I would imagine
               | getting __all__ of your protein from soy could
               | potentially be harmful, perhaps even in ways other than
               | decreasing testosterone and sperm count.
               | 
               | In general, everything in moderation is best.
        
             | dibt wrote:
             | > Fasting every single day for the rest of your life is not
             | realistic and probably does more harm than good.
             | 
             | What evidence is there for this statement? What is
             | considered "fasting?" I can't see how a 12-hour feeding
             | window would be problematic. I could understand some people
             | might develop "disordered eating" if their approach is
             | unsustainable, but "more harm than good" isn't true for
             | those that can do it.
             | 
             | One reason for fasting is that it improves insulin
             | sensitivity.
             | 
             | From: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/intermittent-
             | fasting-sur...
             | 
             | "Based on this, researchers from the University of Alabama
             | conducted a study with a small group of obese men with
             | prediabetes. They compared a form of intermittent fasting
             | called "early time-restricted feeding," where all meals
             | were fit into an early eight-hour period of the day (7 am
             | to 3 pm), or spread out over 12 hours (between 7 am and 7
             | pm). Both groups maintained their weight (did not gain or
             | lose) but after five weeks, the eight-hours group had
             | dramatically lower insulin levels and significantly
             | improved insulin sensitivity, as well as significantly
             | lower blood pressure. The best part? The eight-hours group
             | also had significantly decreased appetite. They weren't
             | starving."
        
               | ralmidani wrote:
               | I can't edit my original comment but I'll try to add some
               | nuance:
               | 
               | - When I say "fasting" I mean not eating for a good chunk
               | of the day. My Muslim background made me overlook the
               | need to define that clearly.
               | 
               | - I doubt most people can sustain fasting indefinitely,
               | so "disordered eating" and metabolism going out of whack
               | is the most likely outcome.
               | 
               | - If someone has a good reason to fast indefinitely -
               | based on professional advice - then they should go for
               | it. But, like other extreme measures, it's probably not
               | for the general population.
        
         | lucb1e wrote:
         | for anyone else confused, that's Primary Care Physician, which
         | I take to mean GP/Hausartzt/huisarts.
        
           | ralmidani wrote:
           | Thanks for clarifying, and sorry for the confusion - I wish I
           | could edit my comment.
        
       | jacknews wrote:
       | What is the new writing grip and what were you doing before?
       | 
       | I always assumed dynamic tripod grip was what was taught, and the
       | best, as it's how I write, but a couple of my kids used a cross
       | between lateral tripod and quadrupod - and their teachers would
       | complain about their writing.
       | 
       | I had to restrain myself when I realized this is what they'd been
       | taught, and next met the teachers responsible.
        
       | omani wrote:
       | ignoring god.
        
       | micheljansen wrote:
       | I think I was in my late twenties when I found out I had been
       | tying my shoes wrong all my life. There is a correct and an
       | incorrect way to do it. This affects not just how the knot looks
       | (straight vs crooked), but also how easily it becomes untied:
       | https://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/theres-a-better-way-to-tie-...
        
         | colordrops wrote:
         | This has been a huge game changer for me since I switched as
         | well
        
           | [deleted]
        
         | Zecc wrote:
         | Since someone is going to point this out, it might as well be
         | me:
         | 
         | Ian's Knot [1] not only is super-fast (once you've learned it
         | properly), it also ensures you are tying a strong knot.
         | 
         | Also, a heel lock [2] is a independent thing which is also good
         | to learn.                 [1]
         | https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/ianknot.htm            [2]
         | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBbc6TackDQ
        
           | high_byte wrote:
           | I LOVE IT
        
           | gorjusborg wrote:
           | If you didn't do it, I was going to!
           | 
           | I've taught all of my children to do it this way. Super fast,
           | reliable way to tie a square knotted bow.
           | 
           | Though it is somewhat of a misnomer that it is called an 'Ian
           | knot', because it isn't a novel knot, rather a technique to
           | arrive at one already commonly known.
        
         | jameal wrote:
         | Adjacent to this, getting properly fitting shoes. The wrong
         | size shoes can cause all kinds of problems for your feet and
         | overall musculoskeletal health. There are still stores around
         | where they will measure your feet for you and make
         | recommendations. Strongly recommend!
        
         | high_byte wrote:
         | wow. just go the other way around. very subtle it does feel
         | stronger. will have to check it out throughout the day though
        
         | andrewl wrote:
         | For more on how to lace and knot shoes, see Iain's Shoelace
         | Site:
         | 
         | https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/
        
           | digianarchist wrote:
           | Great website
        
         | ansible wrote:
         | The linked article mentions that the "strong" knot is
         | _unlikely_ to come undone.
         | 
         | This knot _will not_ come undone:
         | 
         | https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/secureknot.htm
         | 
         | And you can still untie by pulling on one of the ends. Though
         | you have to make sure that while untying, you don't allow the
         | loop to go over the other end of the shoelace.
        
           | phyzome wrote:
           | Yes! This is just about as strong as the standard childhood
           | shoelace knot + double-knotting, but it's faster and doesn't
           | need to be picked apart. I do get it tangled during the untie
           | sometimes, but it's still worth it.
        
           | explorigin wrote:
           | I second this. I've been using this knot for years. It's a
           | bit tricky to tie but still the best.
        
         | interestica wrote:
         | Also, the material type can play a role. I have one pair of
         | shoes that will not stay tied. Nike runners with flat laces.
         | I'm not sure if the synthetic material just wants to unwind.
         | Replaced and have no issues.
        
       | bufordtwain wrote:
       | Focussed too much on the technical side of things and not enough
       | on the people side of things at work. I'm trying to change this
       | but should have done it years ago.
        
       | Arkanosis wrote:
       | Shoe lacing. Then I found out Ian's fantastic website:
       | 
       | https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/grannyknot.htm
       | 
       | Small, but life-changing discovery.
        
         | Mordisquitos wrote:
         | After years and years on my mental backlog, having first seen
         | it ages ago, I finally started using the Ian Knot ( _World 's
         | Fastest Shoelace Knot_) to tie my shoes and similar bow knots:
         | https://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/ianknot.htm
        
       | purututu wrote:
       | Believing main-stream media when they would say "conspiracy
       | theory".
        
       | machiaweliczny wrote:
       | Standing. Turns out you shouldn't be standing with locked knees.
       | I learned it in my twentees. People with hyperlordosis have
       | tendency to do that it seems.
        
       | gongdzhauh wrote:
       | I used to be a NIMBY. I thought small neighborhoods that have
       | nice characteristics should never evolve or change, I thought
       | places with tons of people were unpleasant to live in, I looked
       | down on people who could afford market-rate new housing ("evil
       | techies"), I thought new development increased rents (it
       | doesn't).
       | 
       | 20ish years later, seeing the homelessness, property crime, and
       | housing crisis in the Bay Area, I am convinced I was wrong and
       | wish that the area had built a ton more housing in the past.
       | There used to be so many artists that were able to survive on a
       | part-time cafe job back then. That's no longer possible and it's
       | a bummer and makes the area so much more mundane.
       | 
       | I do still consider open space and parks important and valuable
       | and don't support building new housing on a lot of those types of
       | places.
        
         | justin_oaks wrote:
         | I read an article I found on HN about how housing regulations
         | ensure there is a minimum price on housing. If you can only
         | afford housing below the minimum required to meet the
         | regulations then you go homeless.
         | 
         | We don't want people homeless but on the other hand, we don't
         | want people producing unsafe housing just to keep costs down.
         | 
         | It's a particularly nasty problem that I've only seen discussed
         | in that one article.
        
           | ghostpepper wrote:
           | This is a general economic argument against any government-
           | mandated price control.
           | 
           | People see someone making $6/hour and think that passing a
           | law that minimum wage must be $8 means that person will now
           | make $8, but technically the law only says "it is now illegal
           | to pay that person $6."
           | 
           | Some businesses may be able to afford the raise and still
           | turn a profit, but for others, if that person's labor is
           | worth $7/hour to your bottom line, it is suddenly no longer a
           | good business decision to keep them employed.
        
             | sirmarksalot wrote:
             | It all depends on where their wage is on the cost/value
             | curve. It's true that if the company is paying their
             | employees close to their contributed value, increasing the
             | minimum wage will put them out of a job, there often isn't
             | a force that reliably pushes a wage near that point.
             | Regardless of the value provided, if a company can get away
             | with paying their employees less, then they will _. The
             | forces that determine wages have more to do with available
             | supply of various skills than they do with the demand for
             | the actual value provided.
             | 
             | _ not all companies of course, but as an aggregate,
             | companies will follow this rule
        
             | zackmorris wrote:
             | It's worth noting that without a price floor, people will
             | spend all of their time working just to eat. This can be
             | seen all around the world in developing countries, for
             | example where children shine shoes and scavenge trash to
             | recycle for a quarter a day. Meanwhile the wealthy in those
             | communities pay merely enough taxes to prevent a revolt.
             | 
             | So the minimum wage is really about deciding what type of
             | society we want to live in. Do we want servants, or do we
             | want opportunity? In developed countries, jobs below the
             | minimum wage get automated or some form of government
             | assistance pays for the jobs that can't be, for better or
             | worse.
             | 
             | A better word for deregulation might be decivilization.
        
           | slyall wrote:
           | In this context "housing regulations" doesn't usually mean
           | stuff like electrical standards[1]
           | 
           | It means stuff like "houses must be single story", "no
           | apartments", "yards required", "minimum 2500 square feet",
           | "setback from street".
           | 
           | [1] - Although I have seen a lot of threads about how the
           | requirements for multiple exits in US apartment buildings is
           | probably unjustified. See also elevator requirements.
        
         | Dowwie wrote:
         | George Carlin presented another solution for housing
         | development: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbSRCjG-VLk
         | 
         | (2:38min if you want to skip ahead)
        
         | armatav wrote:
         | Our homeless crisis is determined by factors unrelated to the
         | amount of housing (though it used to be, and it's important to
         | build new housing in general) - nowadays we actually _import_
         | homeless people to places like SF.
        
           | gongdzhauh wrote:
           | Basic supply and demand along with every study I've seen
           | points to housing supply being one of and usually the main
           | factor in the level of homelessness of a city.
           | 
           | As to San Francisco homeless coming from outside the Bay
           | Area, that's true for only around 10% of the population. Most
           | (70%) became homeless in San Francisco and many others became
           | homeless in other parts of the Bay Area. See the `PLACE OF
           | RESIDENCE` section from https://hsh.sfgov.org/wp-
           | content/uploads/2020/01/2019HIRDRep...
        
             | armatav wrote:
             | 22% - out of county. 8% out of state.
        
       | Self-Perfection wrote:
       | For several years since I got my first cell phone I held my cell
       | phone during conversations so its top side is on the same level
       | as top edge of my ear. Seems neat an logical, right?
       | 
       | Then I realized that I should align its speaker to be right
       | against my ear canal, that is 1-2 cm lower. And now I could hear
       | the other person so much better!
        
       | jstummbillig wrote:
       | Focusing on who is right. On average, when you want to improve
       | any given situation, it's a lot less important then it
       | intuitively should be.
        
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