[HN Gopher] Loneliness is a measure of self-understanding
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Loneliness is a measure of self-understanding
Author : stasbar
Score : 19 points
Date : 2023-01-18 21:02 UTC (1 hours ago)
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| stasbar wrote:
| I'm curious what do you think about this relationship between
| loneliness and self-understanding?
| atoav wrote:
| As a very language affine person with a MA in fine arts I don't
| agree with the step where the inability to put your inner
| workings into words equate a lack of self understanding.
|
| The true great art in any field other than poetry and
| literature _lives_ from the fact that language cannot express
| everything in just words. You can of course _explain_ or
| describe everything with language, but unless you are truly a
| great writer everything that is essential about your experience
| will be lost on the way to the receiver. And some things are
| not expressable in language at all (e.g. it takes music, film,
| a painting or other expressions to get there).
|
| Example: When we talk about a lonely old person that died
| recently and I would perfectly describe their inner workings,
| their thoughts and feelings to you in a empathic way, nothing
| would prepare you for the _unique_ feeling you would get when
| you 'd just pace through their now empty flat and wittness the
| way they decorated it. The materials, the objects, the traces
| they left would tell you another story, one they could never
| express with words and all of that would strike a different
| chord within you, maybe one you didn't even know existed.
|
| That being said, as someone with a pretty good self
| understanding who grew up in a rural space at and during the
| dawn of the internet: loneliness to me never was about a lack
| of self-understanding, it was about living in an environment
| that did not have the capacity to receive the expression I had
| in a y way that was meaningful to me. I understood myself
| perfectly well, the people around me were just too dull,
| without ambitions and with so simple images of the world that
| what I had to say would just confuse them, make them angry or
| make them shrug. Sure -- like every rural person you learn
| pretty quickly to dumb it down just enough to make them feel
| comfortable, but that makes you even lonelier, because you are
| deeply aware that the dumbed down version is not you anymore.
|
| So sure, there is a link between being lonely and your ability
| to express yourself in a way that connects you with the people
| around you. But there is one additional, but crucial point: it
| needs to connect you to the people around you in ways _that are
| meaningful to yourself_ , otherwise it will leave you empty and
| drained.
|
| Moving away was the best thing I ever did for myself.
| [deleted]
| bingu wrote:
| This type of reasoning is so sketchy. Language is only roughly
| mapped to thought, it isn't an exact thing like mathematics.
| aritmo wrote:
| This style of reason has very shaky foundations.
|
| Watch some videos by Gabor Mate. He links addition in adult life
| to childhood traumas. You can fit loneliness in there as well.
| jonsen wrote:
| Many thinks traumas in adult life are linked to childhood
| addition.
| gryn wrote:
| Can childhood substraction also be the cause ? /s
|
| I'm guessing both of you mean addiction?
| Joeboy wrote:
| Maybe the problem is there is so much division these days.
| civopsec wrote:
| Nice deduction with limited utility.
|
| Someone who feels alienated from others is most probably not in a
| place where they can just explain who they are to other people,
| even if they have perfect self-understanding.
| holy_based wrote:
| [dead]
| outsidetheparty wrote:
| I'm kind of already not on board with this based on definition 1;
| but even if we redefined the word "loneliness" to fit those
| terms, the remainder of the argument feels more like wordplay
| than insight, to be honest.
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