[HN Gopher] Mental time travel can make us better people
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Mental time travel can make us better people
Author : dnetesn
Score : 108 points
Date : 2022-12-25 13:55 UTC (1 days ago)
(HTM) web link (nautil.us)
(TXT) w3m dump (nautil.us)
| [deleted]
| walleeee wrote:
| For me, it's helpful to think futures as attractors. We are their
| agents: futures pull themselves into being not only in blind
| compliance with physical law but also _through us_. Which will we
| welcome into our minds and, through this, into being?
| hbarka wrote:
| Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then - Bob Seger
| ranting-moth wrote:
| Yeah, sometimes when I'm having a shower a random thought pops up
| from my childhood.
|
| Brain: Remember that thing you did when you were a kid? You
| effing idiot.
|
| Me: Thanks, brain. I was a child back then. We've gone over this
| multiple times. This is not constructive. I've a meeting in 4
| hours I need to prepare for and there's _nothing_ in that memory
| helpful to the current situation.
| unshavedyak wrote:
| Heh, i do that about everything. It's a really big flaw of
| mine. I have the same response as you, trying to mitigate the
| thoughts.. but to no real avail.
| TheAceOfHearts wrote:
| Hypothesis: could you have unprocessed childhood memories which
| contain useful information which your subconscious required you
| to acknowledge? I used to experience a lot of childhood
| memories until they were properly processed and understood.
| Maybe it's not random.
| ranting-moth wrote:
| I think you might be right. I think they might be affecting
| me more than I'm willing to consciously admit.
| kitsunesoba wrote:
| The time in which this most often occurs for me is while lying
| in bed trying to fall asleep and often includes blunders as
| recent as 3-5 years ago. While showering is probably a close
| second though.
| jansan wrote:
| [flagged]
| [deleted]
| frou_dh wrote:
| https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
|
| "Please don't complain about tangential annoyances [...]"
| hellothere1337 wrote:
| How can it be a tangential annoyance when he's talking about
| font? The literal first thing you see when you try to read
| the article?
| Etheryte wrote:
| It's tangential because it's not related to the content of
| the article in any way. This doesn't mean that there isn't
| a problem, it simply means that the commentary on HN is not
| the right place to have this discussion.
| jansan wrote:
| Request declined. I cannot enter the website if I cannot read
| the cookie text.
| dalys wrote:
| I learned this from Alex Hormozi.
|
| I now have a photo of myself made with one of these make-
| yourself-old online apps. I printed it out and have it on my
| desk. I glance at it every now and then when I have a hard action
| to do. How would 55 year old dalys behave in this situation? What
| kind of person do I want to become in 20 years?
|
| Plus it freaks out my mom whenever she visits.
| wintermutestwin wrote:
| I care way more about future me's judgement of present me than
| anyone else's.
| elteto wrote:
| This is an anti-procrastination technique that I use (that I got
| from somewhere but forget where).
|
| When I notice I am procrastinating on an important task I
| visualize my present self explaining to my future self all the
| consequences of my current inaction, and apologizing to future
| self for all he has to deal with as a consequence.
|
| This also forces my to visualize the concrete consequences of my
| present actions and makes it much easier to understand the
| negative impact I'll have on myself.
|
| I also visualize myself doing this with other people when they
| are the most impacted. It's a great technique.
| chrisweekly wrote:
| Yeah, Dr Ben Hardy expands on similar ideas about the benefits
| of connecting with your Future Self as a means to improving
| your outlook and increasing the chances you'll become who you
| want to.
| comfypotato wrote:
| The changing world order aside, there's a big difference between
| relevant planning and worthless fantasizing. I personally benefit
| the most from imagine conversations with friends with whom I want
| to cultivate friendships. A good conversation over coffee can be
| greatly bolstered by thinking about how to steer a conversation
| towards mutual interests beforehand.
| MarkusWandel wrote:
| Yes, mental time travel! I do that.
|
| The past was always so wonderful, bathed in a rosy glow of
| nostalgia. The present is so ho, hum.
|
| So mentally travel forward 20 years and put the present through
| the nostalgia filter. Oh, were times good then. We were younger,
| the kids were still small and cute, blah blah. All the hassle of
| day-to-day life will be forgotten and only rosy nostalgia will
| remain.
|
| Ditto, travel back 20 years and simply fill in those memories
| with the stuff you know happened back then too. Social
| embarrassments, missed sleep, stress at work, worries about the
| future perhaps. Oh right, the past was ordinary too.
| ackbar03 wrote:
| I'm gonna borrow this one, thanks
| Swizec wrote:
| One of my favorite Macklemore lines: "I wish somebody would
| have told me that someday these will be the good old days"
| recuter wrote:
| Macklemore is truly the voice of his generation.
| ackbar03 wrote:
| "only got 20 dollars in my pocket"
|
| -Macklemore
| ideamotor wrote:
| At least for me, this can also have a negative effect. Thinking
| about the future sometimes makes me very anxious about things
| changing for the worse, for example parents dying or myself
| becoming sick. Those thoughts do not make me more "prosocial" as
| they sometimes contribute to depression, facing inward, and
| having a sense of a lack of control and pointlessness. This
| feeling was pronounced during 2020 in particular, but I've been
| doing better in 2022.
| PaulRobinson wrote:
| You might benefit from talking to somebody professional about
| this, but I'm also going to suggest an app that might at first
| make you feel quite anxious but I promise with use might make
| you deal with these thoughts more comfortably:
| https://www.wecroak.com/
|
| It's self explanatory. I've used it every day for a few years
| now. It makes me feel far more centred, far less anxious, far
| more able to deal with the swells and dips of daily life. It
| has also made me face those fears about parents or myself
| becoming sick as an inevitability that can have a beauty to it.
| Ignoring it won't make it go away or any better, just all the
| more painful when it railroads into your life.
|
| Wish you well my friend, good luck with whatever you do, but if
| this approach feels overwhelming, definitely consider having a
| chat with somebody about it.
| slothtrop wrote:
| Thinking of the future in and of itself is not responsible for
| those reactions. Habitually agonizing about negative
| possibilities is a problem that remains whether you make
| predictions or not, and should be addressed. CBT or 3rd wave
| CBT like MCT are good options
| Balladeer wrote:
| The book "Stolen Focus" had an interesting point on this effect
| that resonated with me. While mind wandering -- letting your
| mind explore the past and future -- can be a gift and creative
| boon, it can only do so in a low-stress environment. People
| often rate "mind wandering" as one of the least pleasant daily
| activities, even below chores, because, mind-wandering in a
| high stress environment leads to rumination, and "ruminating on
| negative emotions becomes torment."
| Sakos wrote:
| As somebody who's often suffered from depression, I try not to
| think about the future or the past. The past makes me sad and
| is filled with pain. The future feels like an ominous and
| oppressive und uncertain presence.
| swayvil wrote:
| I relate.
|
| A good project is your best friend
|
| Call it "escapism", except without the feeling of
| worthlessness that comes with drowning yourself in fiction.
| jwilk wrote:
| "Und" made it sound even more ominous und more uncertain.
| Sakos wrote:
| Hah, didn't realize I'd snuck that in there.
| darkerside wrote:
| It seems like the healthiest behavior would be to allow
| yourself to think about the future/past, constrain yourself
| to be kind to yourself while doing it, and critically, _move
| on_ and think about something else next.
|
| Where rumination gets dangerous, in my experience, is when it
| becomes an infinite mental loop.
| Sakos wrote:
| Conceptually, I agree with you. I've put a lot of effort
| over the years into being able to control and stop
| rumination, which has been a huge boon. However, nothing
| I've tried has changed this fundamental inability to
| imagine any future that isn't more of the same that I've
| already experienced (as in painful and disappointing). I
| think without making enough positive experiences to
| convince my brain to change how it processes/interprets
| events, that's something that can't change.
|
| The question then becomes, how do I make positive
| experiences? If I make what I think is a positive
| experience, I end up worrying about parts of it and
| wondering about its negative aspects. That's also something
| I have to work on and change. It's a cycle, it's slow and
| iterative, and I feel like I'm making progress, however
| little, but I am how I am right now, and I'm okay with
| that.
| Zababa wrote:
| I don't really get how you move on from something. Is this
| something you decide? Something that happens? Can you stop
| thinking about something only by wanting to?
|
| Whenever people talk about moving on, I feel as if they
| were talking about using their third arm, that I just don't
| have.
| Sakos wrote:
| +1 for what grepLeigh has said. CBT is a huge help.
|
| > Can you stop thinking about something only by wanting
| to?
|
| Absolutely, yes. If I catch myself in a death spiral of
| thoughts, I can literally tell myself "no, that's enough,
| I'm done with this" and do something else instead. It
| takes introspection, acceptance, understanding,
| compassion (for yourself and the subjects of your
| thoughts), therapy, and _practice_. Meditation can also
| help.
|
| There's no single piece of advice I can give because it
| was a lengthy and painful process, but maybe it's enough
| to say that yes, it's possible to learn, because it's
| something I had to learn and I managed to figure it out.
| grepLeigh wrote:
| Check out rumination-focused cognitive behavioral
| therapy, ideally with guidance and support from a
| therapist.
|
| I used to hear "just let it go" and think I was being
| asked to do something impossible! Using a third arm is a
| great way of putting it.
|
| Turns out the self-regulation needed to "move on" is just
| a developmental skill. Like any skill, it can be
| practiced and improved over time. Hope you find this
| encouraging!
| throwaway1777 wrote:
| Oh wow, people are becoming self aware enough to think outside
| the present. Maybe there is still hope for society.
| quickthrower2 wrote:
| That Begin surname tripped up my parsing of that first sentence
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