[HN Gopher] Keep Your Identity Small (2009)
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Keep Your Identity Small (2009)
        
       Author : memorable
       Score  : 120 points
       Date   : 2022-12-10 09:57 UTC (13 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.paulgraham.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.paulgraham.com)
        
       | cjfd wrote:
       | Maybe better advice is to not take on as identities things that
       | you just took over from other people without questioning. Also
       | know what the other side is thinking before deciding what belongs
       | in your identity and what not. There are things that you should
       | believe because you are you. There are also things that should be
       | firmly rejected. It actually takes a fair bit of living before
       | one knows things definitively. But there is also the danger of
       | being too open minded. One can be so open minded that ones brain
       | falls out...
        
       | gardenhedge wrote:
       | Not labeling myself was something I figured out at 15/16. One
       | thing I've never figured out it why people label themselves.
        
         | bilirubin wrote:
        
         | Kye wrote:
         | "I don't label myself" - person who labels self with not
         | labeling self.
         | 
         | Labels are useful for finding community. This becomes more
         | essential the less popular or the more marginalized you or
         | parts of you are.
        
           | gardenhedge wrote:
           | You could, in theory, make a label out of not labeling
           | yourself but that isn't what we're talking about.
           | 
           | I can see how labels are useful for finding community. One
           | potential negative of using labels to find a community is
           | that labels can be exclusive. For example, a label like
           | "LGBTQ+" may exclude people who do not identify as part of
           | that community, even if they have similar experiences or
           | interests. This can create a sense of exclusion and may
           | prevent people from finding the support and connection they
           | are looking for.
        
             | Kye wrote:
             | LGBTQ+ (and variations) are more category than label. We
             | combine our powers because we're all too tiny to deal with
             | all the labels and violence foisted upon us alone. Whether
             | you can choose one of the labels is a matter of debate
             | within the category. For most of us, it's like breathing
             | air for the first time: "oh, I'm not alone in this. Other
             | people feel this way, and they've fought all these battles
             | so I don't have to start from 0." To choose it without that
             | experience is kind of weird, but I don't personally have a
             | problem with it in most cases.
        
               | gardenhedge wrote:
               | LGBTQ+ can be used as a self-imposed label. Why not?
        
               | mgrthrow wrote:
               | A hundred percent this. I'm not a lesbian, but I'm going
               | to the mat if needed to protect lesbians. We protect us.
        
         | loloquwowndueo wrote:
         | Isn't "someone who doesn't label oneself whereas other people
         | do" a label? :)
        
           | darkerside wrote:
           | It's like tolerance of everything except intolerance.
           | 
           | Does that make you intolerant, ot is it semantic wordplay
           | used to confuse and befuddled?
           | 
           | Edit: Just noticed, PG said it better, unsurprisingly. FTA:
           | 
           | > There may be some things it's a net win to include in your
           | identity. For example, being a scientist. But arguably that
           | is more of a placeholder than an actual label--like putting
           | NMI on a form that asks for your middle initial--because it
           | doesn't commit you to believing anything in particular. A
           | scientist isn't committed to believing in natural selection
           | in the same way a biblical literalist is committed to
           | rejecting it. All he's committed to is following the evidence
           | wherever it leads.
        
           | mdp2021 wrote:
           | It's a factual description.
        
           | gardenhedge wrote:
           | If everyone's default state is unlabled, then no, not
           | labeling yourself isn't a label.
        
             | Kye wrote:
             | It's not, though. You're given all kinds of labels as you
             | go through life whether you want it or not. If you don't
             | act on that, you're accepting the defaults. That doesn't
             | mean there are no labels on you.
        
               | gardenhedge wrote:
               | No, not everyone is labeled by default. Labels are used
               | to describe or identify a person or group, and not
               | everyone uses or identifies with labels. Some people may
               | choose to use labels to describe themselves or their
               | experiences, while others may not feel that any existing
               | labels accurately reflect who they are. It is ultimately
               | up to each individual to decide whether or not they want
               | to use labels to describe themselves or their
               | experiences.
        
               | Kye wrote:
               | >> _" No, not everyone is labeled by default."_
               | 
               | Boy, girl, man, woman. Success, failure, virgin, slut,
               | ice queen. Creep.
               | 
               | I'm sure you've labeled others with at least one and
               | possibly been labeled with one you weren't happy about
               | that didn't fit your identity. There are so many more and
               | you use them without thinking.
        
               | gardenhedge wrote:
               | You've taken this discussion off course by discussing
               | given labels.
               | 
               | If you decide to self label as a 'creep' or 'success'
               | then it's relevant to this thread's discussion. If people
               | just decide to label you as a 'creep' or 'success' then
               | it's not relevant.
        
               | mgrthrow wrote:
               | Everyone is labeled by default. Unless you weren't
               | assigned a gender at birth, don't have a skin color,
               | don't have sexual preferences, didn't have an economic
               | situation you grew up in, didn't have a family with
               | either single parents or multiple payments, etc etc
        
               | gardenhedge wrote:
               | Labels can be both self-imposed and given. A self-imposed
               | label is one that a person chooses to use to describe
               | themselves or their experiences. For example, someone
               | might choose to use the label "vegan" to describe their
               | dietary habits because they feel that it accurately
               | reflects their values and beliefs. On the other hand, a
               | given label is one that is applied to a person or group
               | by someone else. For example, a teacher might use the
               | label "gifted" to describe a student who excels in a
               | particular subject. In this case, the label is not chosen
               | by the student, but is applied to them by the teacher.
               | 
               | You're missing the point of the article by discussing
               | given labels.
        
               | mgrthrow wrote:
               | I use the label queer as a self selected one. (Not self
               | imposed, it's not an impression.)
               | 
               | Queer is not the same as LGBTQ+ (queer is more overly
               | political). My identity is both given and self selected.
        
       | hypoqtech wrote:
       | > _For example, a discussion about a battle that included
       | citizens of one or more of the countries involved would probably
       | degenerate into a political argument. But a discussion today
       | about a battle that took place in the Bronze Age probably wouldn
       | 't._
       | 
       | Might this not be because we don't have sufficient information on
       | Bronze Ages battles to know the context behind them? Whereas in a
       | relatively modern-day battle we'll know about the primary
       | aggressor, their rationale, etc. which are all a basis for
       | further discussion.
        
         | j-bos wrote:
         | There's plenty of context for Roman battles and those
         | discussions rarely degenerate into shouting matches, compare
         | with [insert modern conflict here]. Even for today's conflicts,
         | many of the shouters demonstrate a personal lack of context.
        
       | wankle wrote:
       | "If people can't think clearly about anything that has become
       | part of their identity, then all other things being equal, the
       | best plan is to let as few things into your identity as
       | possible."
       | 
       | No thank you; I do not want to live in a passionless society.
       | Unlike the claims of the article, people can and do have reasoned
       | discussions about both politics and religion.
        
       | trees101 wrote:
       | Thought provoking post, but the idea doesn't work. Yes, people
       | are less inclined to get into arguments about specific technical
       | tools if they are not educated about them. Yes, people DO get
       | into arguments about religion even if they aren't educated about
       | it. The difference is that religion addresses matters that ARE
       | central to people's identity. It addresses choices that EVERYONE
       | must make, and therefore everyone has a stake in it, unlike an
       | arcane programming language that only impacts a few people.
        
         | trees101 wrote:
         | There could be a hidden assumption behind Graham's idea, which
         | is that everyone (that matters) shares his beliefs. Often in
         | the West, secular liberalism is the assumed religion and news
         | articles, books, conversations all implicitly assume it. To
         | people completely immersed in this paradigm, religion is merely
         | external decoration, like a costume, that is exterior to an
         | assumed identical core belief.
         | 
         | People who make this assumption got a rude shock around the
         | time of the ISIS attacks, when they found that some people who
         | grew up in French housing estates behaved in extremely strange
         | and troubling ways.
         | 
         | Ideas have consequences, and religion is the set of ideas about
         | the matters of utmost consequence. These ideas are inherently
         | part of people's identity.
        
         | tshadley wrote:
         | > The difference is that religion addresses matters that ARE
         | central to people's identity. It addresses choices that
         | EVERYONE must make
         | 
         | In the essay, identity is associated with a particular
         | religious/political/social perspective on the human condition,
         | not the human condition itself. Keeping identity small is
         | basically converging on "being human"-- the choices everyone
         | must make as you note -- without the false certainty that comes
         | with loyalty to a religious/political/social identity.
        
       | nothrowaways wrote:
       | Imagine a conversation with someone with "believer in x
       | framework, ex y, z" in their Bio and compare your biases with
       | same user but with a handle anon123.
        
       | simne wrote:
       | Author is right, but chosen wrong example.
       | 
       | Religion is not a tool, unlike programming language, limited by
       | definition, Religion is Universe, with endless number of
       | variants. Some religions, like protestants, are by definition
       | distributed, they just have not some acknowledged position on
       | many questions.
       | 
       | But if we talk about business, this is exact hit, in business, to
       | convince client, you should have narrow offer, which fit this
       | client believes, nothing more.
       | 
       | Why so, if you widen offer, because of steel triangle of PM, you
       | have to raise costs, and/or lower quality.
       | 
       | And yes, I know about smartphones, but my estimation, at least,
       | 10-25% of HN discussions, are about low quality of widened
       | solutions, including smartphones, or about excellence of narrow
       | solutions, like C64, or ST.
        
       | strangattractor wrote:
       | IMHO I am not convinced that gender identity is actually
       | measurable or a knowable thing. I can physically demonstrate
       | whether I am male or female. I can only assume that I think or
       | feel like other males or females based on how other males or
       | females behave or what they tell me they think and feel. Given
       | the fluidity of language I have no guarantee that my
       | interpretation of that is accurate. I have no real way to do an
       | experiment because I cannot choose to be the other gender for a
       | day and compare. Maybe there are more objective measures but they
       | seem somewhat inadequate to me. My real life experience informs
       | me that there are no real defined boundaries and all of us are
       | some mixture of all of the above.
        
         | fouroneone wrote:
         | Paul is more talking about pride and identity. He's not talking
         | about full embodiment or awareness of what identity is.
         | 
         | I'm going to say an example that's not true but it's just to
         | demonstrate a point.
         | 
         | For example if I say "All women are stupid." If you identify as
         | a woman you get offended and emotionally compromised. You
         | assume the person who said it is wrong and you leave.
         | 
         | If you don't identify as a woman and you aren't offended by the
         | statement at all.... perhaps you can do an objective and open
         | minded study to get to the bottom of the question.
         | 
         | An objective person can look at the data and realize that on
         | the bell curve of IQ... men and woman have the same average but
         | men have a thicker tail on the far ends of both sides of the
         | curve. This says that the small population of extremely
         | intelligent people and extremely stupid people are mostly men.
         | By not having pride you can be more objective and see this
         | nuance.
         | 
         | Graham is talking about pride and identity and how it effects
         | your objectivity and bias and intelligent analysis. He is not
         | referring to the actual meaning and definition of identity.
         | 
         | The dark side of lacking identity and being objective is that
         | while I illustrate a rosy conclusion (that is also true) here,
         | not all conclusions are rosy. It is very possible that for
         | certain scenarios the data shows results that are not
         | politically correct. What if the data shows that women are
         | truly stupider? What then?
        
           | strangattractor wrote:
           | I went to the gender thing primarily because much of the
           | discussion seemed centered on that. But in general I would
           | say my identity is comprised of many more things other than
           | my gender.
           | 
           | By trying to simplify a definition of identity into something
           | specific or plucking out a single identity trait (any trait)
           | which cannot be defined precisely (emacs vs vim, declarative
           | vs functional, race, intelligence, flavor, color etc) we lose
           | information and end up in never ending ratholes of
           | discussion. People start relying on personal experiences and
           | feelings (subjective info) which makes the discussion
           | personal and more often than not useless.
           | 
           | My take from the author is Keep It Simple Stupid.
        
       | kethinov wrote:
       | Since Paul wrote that, people have made so many more things part
       | of their identity, including JavaScript which he points out in
       | the essay was not a particularly identity-charged topic in 2009.
       | With the rise of the frameworks, it has become an identity-
       | charged topic with JS devs now segregated into tribes that insist
       | on using their preferred framework for every webapp they build.
       | It's not about assessing the right tool for the job based on
       | evidence or metrics, it's about a belief system that the tribe's
       | preferred framework is always the right tool for the job.
       | 
       | Ultimately I think Paul was right and I think about this essay a
       | lot. The best solution is to make as few things part of your
       | identity as possible. For JS devs, that means you should be more
       | willing to use a different framework from time to time or no
       | framework at all. Decide what to use based on an objective
       | assessment of what the right tool for the job is, not what's
       | trendy in your tribe.
        
         | simne wrote:
         | JavaScript is just wrong example. It very early has become
         | uber-tool, when appear first specification of ECMA-script
         | (essentially same gramma, but was universal language not tied
         | to eny platform or specifics).
         | 
         | But if talk about business, I remember Ford's phrase: "develop
         | product, which will fit expectations of 80% of your clients;
         | 10% will just change mind; 10% will pay additional money for
         | customization".
        
         | RajT88 wrote:
         | In tech, people ascribe you an identity as much as you claim
         | one yourself.
         | 
         | When I am not around, I have been described to people as "A
         | DevOps guy" or "A Network Guy". People then treat me
         | accordingly. But, being human (or an approximation thereof), I
         | am not just one thing.
        
           | doubled112 wrote:
           | I've always tried to go with (or steer toward) something like
           | "a problem solver".
           | 
           | I just like to solve problems. Sometimes it's builds and
           | deploys, sometimes it's the network, and sometimes it's the
           | car in the driveway. Give me a few, I'll figure something
           | out.
        
             | philwelch wrote:
             | "Problem solver" is so vague as to be meaningless. I'm
             | pretty sure literally all human action could be
             | characterized as problem solving.
        
           | throw827474737 wrote:
           | Come on, the dentist is also the dentist... taking those
           | titles to personally imo is a too big identitiy to start
           | with. We know you are all individuals ;)
        
             | quickthrower2 wrote:
             | Better analogy might be the soccer midfielder. All playing
             | a similar game but experts in different positions.
        
             | cableshaft wrote:
             | Yes, we're all individuals!
             | 
             | Obligatory Monty Python scene: https://youtu.be/KHbzSif78qQ
        
           | nicoburns wrote:
           | > In tech, people ascribe you an identity as much as you
           | claim one yourself.
           | 
           | Indeed that is true of most kinds of identity. People will
           | ascribe you racial and gender identities which may or may not
           | match the ones you wish to claim for example.
        
           | kossTKR wrote:
           | I often skip the fact that i work in tech in certain circles
           | in the beginning. Instead i'm just a business consultant, or
           | working with project management.
           | 
           | Probably a bit cowardlike but people really love to put other
           | people in boxes and for a lot of people working in tech means
           | "oh so you're one of those super nerdy people that is naively
           | optimistic about technology, is socially stunted, loves
           | infantile pop culture and has zero sense of aesthetics" as an
           | example.
           | 
           | And not that there is anything wrong with being that type of
           | person (i also have some of those traits) there is very
           | limited elasticity in peoples image of you after you've told
           | what you work with, at least in Scandinavia where "you are
           | your career".
           | 
           | I have a friend who works on movie productions and everyone
           | always seem to find it amazing and extrapolate all kinds of
           | positive stuff about him, while the opposite can happen with
           | tech and unless i also make some weird underhanded
           | disclaimers like "I'm actually also really into x genre of
           | music and have played since i was a kid" or "well i actually
           | love reading obscure literature", "i actually really like
           | travelling, that's why this career was so great for me"
           | people will just assume i do nothing besides program 24/7 -
           | hyperbole yes but still.
           | 
           | Can anyone relate?
        
             | RajT88 wrote:
             | > "oh so you're one of those super nerdy people that is
             | naively optimistic about technology, is socially stunted,
             | loves infantile pop culture and has zero sense of
             | aesthetics"
             | 
             | Hello!
        
             | intelVISA wrote:
             | > "oh so you're one of those super nerdy people that is
             | naively optimistic about technology, is socially stunted,
             | loves infantile pop culture and has zero sense of
             | aesthetics" as an example.
             | 
             | for once I'm glad to be the opposite to the usual trope..
             | but I feel you it is tiring to be interrogated over the
             | location of my non-existent funko-pop cache just because I
             | write code. Even saying "I swear I don't write Js" doesn't
             | protect you these days.
        
         | naet wrote:
         | I think there's an industry trend or career pressure towards
         | being a member of a JS "tribe". Companies don't believe in
         | people learning new technologies, instead they only want people
         | with lots of experience in their specific framework and nothing
         | more.
         | 
         | I've used React, Vue, Elm, Vanilla JS, and some legacy JQuery
         | in production over my last three years of work (along with
         | Next, Nuxt, Gatsby, Hugo, and many others).
         | 
         | I thought that would make me a well rounded candidate with an
         | understanding of different trade offs and an ability to pick up
         | new things. Now that I'm looking for a new job though it seems
         | like most places are looking to hire someone 100% React dev,
         | and my history of framework diversity has become more of a
         | liability than an asset somehow.
        
         | yobbo wrote:
         | > a belief system that the tribe's preferred framework is
         | always the right tool for the job.
         | 
         | It's not really about "the right tool for the job". It's about
         | protecting and promoting the tribe's investment.
        
         | strken wrote:
         | I think with JS frameworks, it's more a case of moving house
         | using the hatchback parked in your driveway, instead of going
         | out and buying a brand new truck. Or hammering tent pegs with
         | the side of a rock instead of bringing a hammer with you.
         | There's a cost to buying and learning new tools.
        
           | kethinov wrote:
           | That would be an easier argument to accept if people were
           | more honest about it. Or honest with themselves about it and
           | more self-aware that that's really what it's about: not
           | wanting to learn new things or the perception (real or
           | otherwise) of lacking the time to. But too often instead it
           | seems like people rationalize the desire to avoid learning
           | new things by making pseudo arguments that the thing they
           | already like is the best option when in reality it's mostly
           | just a post hoc justification of a preconceived notion.
        
         | [deleted]
        
       | mgrthrow wrote:
       | Doesn't land for me. I'm queer, my identity isn't huge, but it
       | does include queer.
       | 
       | That alone is enough to make some folks want to do violence to me
       | (I have first hand experience with this).
       | 
       | Telling me to "stop being x" is a bad vibe when x is something
       | intrinsic about me AND the anti x folks hate me just for
       | existing. I just want to live my life.
        
         | bilirubin wrote:
        
         | nestorD wrote:
         | Good point. The essay misses examples of what is an inescapable
         | part of one's identity.
         | 
         | To answer other commenters: sometimes being queer can be as
         | obvious to others as your skin color (because you are holding
         | the hand of your partner, because you are at the beginning of a
         | transition, etc...) and, using PG's criteria, is one of those
         | things that other people will discuss without expertise
         | (sometimes very negatively).
         | 
         | And, even if it is not obvious that one is queer, it is one of
         | those topics where showing that you belong to that group (when
         | you can afford it physically and mentally) is important. Both
         | as a signal to other members (to show them that they are not
         | alone) and as a way to normalize your identity (which, in the
         | longer run and as a group effort, helps a lot to reduce bad
         | reactions).
        
           | zozbot234 wrote:
           | You're also conflating unchangeable characteristics (such as
           | skin color, or sexual orientation) and some feeling of group
           | belonging. We would certainly find it a bit weird if someone
           | felt that they "belonged" in a valued group merely due to,
           | e.g. having light-colored skin, and expressed a need to "show
           | off" that specific fact about themselves to others. That's
           | key to the "identity" distinction PG is making here.
        
             | nestorD wrote:
             | This feels like a false dichotomy: while you cannot change
             | your sexual orientation, you _can_ choose to make it more
             | apparent and it has clear benefits for other lgbtq+ people
             | around you (which, for me, gets it out of the selfish
             | connotations of showing off: wherever you live, being
             | openly gay still carries a non-zero physical risk, you don
             | 't do it just for the fun of it).
        
         | fouroneone wrote:
         | He doesn't tell you to stop being x. The title says keep your
         | identity small, implying he knows it's impossible.
         | 
         | I'm not saying this is true, it's obviously not, but what if we
         | lived in a universe where science objectively found that being
         | queer was an actual disease and could be cured with a pill?
         | This is the science and logic in that universe. So in that
         | universe does your identity then preclude you from having a
         | scientific and logical conclusion about being queer? If you
         | didn't have that identity I would say it would be easier to be
         | objective about that topic in that universe?
         | 
         | This is the thing Graham is talking about. I hope you can see
         | the purpose of the (obviously untrue and just hypothetical)
         | example, despite it being negatively related to your identity.
         | I think it's still possible to disassociate a little bit even
         | if it's an intrinsic part of your identity.
        
         | narag wrote:
         | I take he's talking about ideas. Being queer, as I understand
         | it, is not an idea but a fact, like being six feet tall or
         | having blue eyes.
        
           | mdp2021 wrote:
           | > _not... but_
           | 
           | If you act according to your Real Preference RP, then RP is a
           | fact; if you Role-Play, it is also a constraint.
           | 
           | Edit: there is also a notable third position: when you act
           | from a what you judge a Right Position RP - you do what is
           | right. It must be noted because it may look like an
           | "identification", but it is different in important ways.
        
           | hypoqtech wrote:
           | I'm not sure it is a fact, I mean, these days there are
           | heterosexual people who call themselves queer.
        
             | mgrthrow wrote:
             | Well, queer encompasses more than just gay and lesbian
             | people.
             | 
             | Non-binary people can be queer, heterosexual trans people
             | can be queer, asexual people can be queer. Same with
             | polyamorous people.
        
               | hypoqtech wrote:
               | Doesn't that make it not a fact then, if people can just
               | opt in and out to being queer?
        
               | nicoburns wrote:
               | I would argue that no identity is a fact. All identities
               | are beliefs on the part of the person doing the
               | identifying. To identify something as X is to express the
               | belief that it is X.
        
               | tekla wrote:
               | Literally anyone can be queer. Its a meaningless tag.
        
               | kelseyfrog wrote:
               | Literally anyone can be Christian, but that doesn't make
               | it a useless tag. It's a linguistic and mental shortcut
               | that has utility despite the relative ease of
               | application.
        
             | mdp2021 wrote:
             | > _who call themselves_
             | 
             | In which sense? Because 'queer' means "eccentric" - many
             | would describe as that. For that matter, people call
             | themselves "gay" for "joyous".
             | 
             | Incidentally: the queer use of 'queer' predates that of
             | 'gay' (just a piece of trivia).
        
               | nicoburns wrote:
               | > In which sense?
               | 
               | Generally in a political sense (related to the gay
               | sense). Someone who does not accept heterosexuality as a
               | norm or default way of being, even though it may
               | something that they personally prefer.
        
               | yuuu wrote:
               | > For that matter, people call themselves "gay" for
               | "joyous".
               | 
               | Uh... I don't think people do that anymore.
        
               | mdp2021 wrote:
               | They do, and some will absolutely do (to some it is
               | important to "assess" language) - it really depends on
               | what you mean with "people" (of course I meant a subset).
               | 
               | What happened there is, in the succession of editings I
               | left that 'people' there in a way that happened to be
               | ambiguous. I made a composition error out of inattention.
        
               | mgrthrow wrote:
               | Of course queer as "unusual" predates "queer" as gay. :D
               | It's a reclaimed slur. It was a negative label applied to
               | people who ultimately decided to make that negative label
               | a part of their identity.
        
               | mdp2021 wrote:
               | [Removed chunk because of misunderstanding]
               | 
               | [...] To my info, the first use of 'queer' for
               | "homosexual" is from 1922, and the term was used for
               | "eccentric" for the last five centuries.
               | 
               | ('gay' for homosexual was reported as widespread
               | "communitarian" use in medical texts in the 1940's - the
               | use for "promiscuous" is at least four centuries old. In
               | some territories, 'gay girl' still means "prostitute".)
               | 
               | Edit:
               | 
               | I misread your post. Of course, "of course" ""queer" for
               | homosexual" can easily be a "reclaimed slur". There
               | should be no surprise about it.
               | 
               | And your use of 'gay' in <<"queer" as gay>> is "queer".
               | That is not ""queer" as gay", it is "queer" as "unaligned
               | in sexual orientation", and not necessarily "gay". Just
               | nitpicking on language though.
        
           | philwelch wrote:
           | "Queer" is a vague identity with political connotations, by
           | which I mean, the gay people who call themselves "queer" tend
           | to be a lot more woke-leftist than the gay people who don't
           | call themselves "queer". It's absolutely an idea and a
           | constructed identity. The facts of the matter are things like
           | sexual preferences and behaviors, but you don't inherently
           | need to construct an identity around them. On the other hand,
           | sometimes you need to be aware that even if you don't
           | identify yourself, you will be identified by others, which
           | you're going to have to deal with.
        
             | mgrthrow wrote:
             | I think you've both got the right answer and explained it
             | with a very negative framing.
             | 
             | Gender and Sexual Minority, LGBTQ+, and queer all describe
             | a largely similar set of folks.
             | 
             | Queer arose not from "woke-leftist" spaces, but grew out of
             | 70s and 80s radical gay and trans spaces - groups like the
             | Gay Liberation Front - who were willing to fight back
             | (violently if necessary) against violence and
             | discrimination.
             | 
             | Queer is absolutely a political identity, a framing of ones
             | gender or sexual identity. They intersect with one another.
             | It's not unlike "I eat only plants" vs "I'm vegan", they
             | mean roughly the same thing until you hit contexts where
             | they don't.
        
               | narag wrote:
               | I'm not a native speaker, not in the know of the nuances
               | of those terms, just accepted the one you chose.
               | 
               | There's a point that I still don't understand. The
               | article advices to keep identity as a minimum. Not having
               | none, just not including every circumstance or opinion in
               | your identity. The reason is that a _fat identity_ makes
               | you more vulnerable to bias.
               | 
               | Is being queer a fundamental part of your identity? Or is
               | it something subject to change like "being a JavaScript
               | programmer" or something like that?
               | 
               | The place where I was born... that is a fact, I neither
               | can nor want to change that. I consider it a part of my
               | identity but, at the same time, I try to take some
               | distance from it so I can examine my own opinions and
               | decisions.
               | 
               | Even at some moments I wonder what would I think if I had
               | been born elsewhere or if I change nationality. But that
               | doesn't mean I'm going to do that. That runs deep, but
               | being an X programmer, a X-ist, a morning person, if I
               | prefer cats or dogs, a member of NNN generation... that's
               | circumstancial for me.
        
               | philwelch wrote:
               | Whether you're sexually attracted to men or women isn't
               | something that can change, but that doesn't necessarily
               | mean you have to enshrine it as a significant part of
               | your identity. This is actually where the semantic
               | nuances come fully into play. People who identify as
               | queer are _consciously choosing to identify as queer_.
               | There are gay men and lesbian women who don 't identify
               | as queer. Sometimes that's because they don't agree with
               | the radical orientation of the people who do identify as
               | queer, sometimes that's because they don't like the word
               | itself, and sometimes it's because they don't feel a
               | sense of group identity with everyone under the "queer"
               | umbrella.
        
               | philwelch wrote:
               | > Queer arose not from "woke-leftist" spaces, but grew
               | out of 70s and 80s radical gay and trans spaces
               | 
               | I guess "radical" would have been a better choice of
               | terminology than "woke-leftist", but really you're
               | looking at very similar communities that share an
               | ideological heritage and who tend to complain about any
               | terminology people use for them. The term "woke" is new
               | but the basic ideology goes back to 70's radicals as
               | well.
        
               | nicoburns wrote:
               | I would add, "woke" is not necessarily a negative label,
               | and indeed was originally used most commonly in a
               | positive sense intended to describe people who were awake
               | to the reality of the world. It's only more recently come
               | to be used a pejorative mocking the original usage.
        
         | mdp2021 wrote:
         | The point of PG is that to properly reason about X you have to
         | look at it "from outside".
         | 
         | A mental conditioning fogs judgement. "Identifications" are
         | mental conditionings that make you lose intellectual freedom.
         | 
         | An example from other authors:
         | 
         | > _For instance, modern education often does much damage when
         | young students are taught dubious political notions and then
         | enthusiastically push these notions on the rest of us. The
         | pushing seldom convinces others. But as students pound into
         | their mental habits what they are pushing out, the students are
         | often permanently damaged. Educational institutions that create
         | a climate where much of this goes on are, I think,
         | irresponsible. It is important not to thus put one's brain in
         | chains before one has come anywhere near his full potentiality
         | as a rational person_
         | 
         | ~~~ Charlie Munger
         | 
         | Edit:
         | 
         | just like the mental process described by PG has a strong taste
         | of Popper's judgement on "Marx Hegel and Freud" - a
         | consolidated cultural idea -, the warning against
         | "identifications" has had quite strong proponents. One of them
         | (indirectly but encompassing) is over 2500 years old and "quite
         | preponderant".
        
           | altdataseller wrote:
           | Reminds me of Eckhart Tolle's themes too such as "you are not
           | your story"
        
           | mindslight wrote:
           | > _A mental conditioning fogs judgement. "Identifications"
           | are mental conditionings that make you lose intellectual
           | freedom._
           | 
           | Freedom and structure are always in contention as yin-yang,
           | and you're completely ignoring the benefits structure can
           | bring. I'd guess OP finds a lot of value in labeling
           | themselves "queer", in that a lot of things that were
           | ambiguous or confusing become clearer.
        
             | mdp2021 wrote:
             | > _ignoring_
             | 
             | Yes I was - I was focusing on a different side.
             | 
             | Logic. "X brings fog" and "X brings clarity" are not
             | contradictory, in a normal paraconsistent logic.
             | 
             | But note: if A uses X as a mental experiment for
             | intellectual development, detachment is there: that is the
             | opposite of "identification".
        
         | DoreenMichele wrote:
         | At the risk of being wildly misunderstood, you can still choose
         | to minimize your "queerness footprint" in public discussions.
         | You can let your experience with that inform your opinions
         | without making it into An Issue that you are queer.
         | 
         | It's not easy, but it's possible and I think a lot of our
         | perception of people "at the top" being uniformly a particular
         | profile is partly a reflection of the fact that people who get
         | good at not making their identity into An Issue are the ones
         | who get more tolerance in public spaces. I think this gets
         | misinterpreted by many people as "That person is not queer"
         | rather than "We don't know. They haven't actually said and it
         | is a private matter anyway."
        
         | hoosieree wrote:
         | The author may be suffering from a form of blub paradox when it
         | comes to how he identifies, which I would assume include white,
         | male, rich, smart, founder, and writer.
         | 
         | It's easy for him to discard "lesser" identities like
         | "javascript programmer" because that doesn't cost him anything.
        
           | mdp2021 wrote:
           | > _which I would assume include_
           | 
           | Wrong assumption. We do not necessarily "identify". All those
           | terms in that list can be fully avoided as identifications.
           | No, it is not normal to be "identified" with any of that.
        
             | mgrthrow wrote:
             | Would the author say, "I am a ..." and end with any of the
             | above? If so, they identify as that group.
             | 
             | That's what identity _is_ , it's the set of things you
             | consider yourself to be. "I am" and "I consider myself to
             | be" are very simple clauses.
             | 
             | How big or small a part you decide to make your identities
             | part of your personality is up to you, but like, they are
             | still part of your identity.
        
               | mdp2021 wrote:
               | No, you are misunderstanding what is meant with
               | "identification" in these texts. The starting point is
               | PG's text.
               | 
               | It is about how "identification" clouds your judgement.
               | If you can just describe yourself ("happen to be male")
               | that is one thing; if when you think of yourself you
               | cannot abstract from some attributes, there is where you
               | have "caged" yourself.
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | zozbot234 wrote:
         | Not sure what your point is? It's okay to be white (or any
         | other ethnicity), and it's okay to be queer - no matter how
         | many people would tell you otherwise. That doesn't mean you
         | have to take either of these and make it the be-all and end-all
         | of your identity. The difference should be obvious - it was
         | surely obvious enough to PG.
        
       | nateoearth wrote:
       | Counterpoint: a strong sense of identity is a crucial ingredient
       | for a meaningful life. Studies have consistently shown that
       | actively religious people are happier that their non-religious
       | counterparts. Identities can grant access to social networks,
       | epitomized in conventions attracting thousands of people who
       | gleefully share an identity (e.g., DEF CON for hackers). Etc.
        
         | ACow_Adonis wrote:
         | counter-counterpoint: studies (that is to say the modern ritual
         | of writing papers about spuriously finding statistical
         | correlations using language and processes specific to your
         | academic tribe) have consistently found positive effects of
         | both.
         | 
         | On the one hand you have the supposed positive effects of
         | accepting identities of the in-group, but you have to be very
         | careful about how you structure and interpret these, because as
         | you've inadvertently pointed out, what you're often really
         | getting is access to social networks and resources. you also
         | have to be very careful to interpret the positive outcomes of
         | such if they're part of groups that actively discriminate,
         | target or persecute out-member groups. gays, foreigners, races,
         | genders other-identies can also be shown to often have negative
         | effects using similar methods, and of course naive methods do
         | find significantly worse outcomes amongst many life measures
         | from such groups (which is not really surprising, because the
         | in-group often treats them like shit).
         | 
         | but studies have also shown consistent positive effects from
         | dropping identities. i.e. stopping identifying with criminal
         | groups, removing limiting beliefs and cognitive barriers
         | associated with identities, and positive associations with
         | Buddhist-esque religions and practices associated with
         | traditionally non-identity building beliefs and practices
         | (meditation, anatman, western psychological methods and
         | treatments associated- derived from such etc).
         | 
         | personally, I fall on the less identity side of things, just
         | speaking as someone on the side of the unique position of being
         | involved with statistics, religion, economics, and psychology.
        
       | the_gipsy wrote:
       | Mr. Graham does have a big political identity (on twitter). Sure,
       | he shares more anecdotes about raising his kids than "anti-woke"
       | messages, but it doesn't hold up against this essay.
       | 
       | His essay might still be right of course.
        
       | naet wrote:
       | > As a rule, any mention of religion on an online forum
       | degenerates into a religious argument. Why? Why does this happen
       | with religion and not with Javascript...
       | 
       | Unfortunately this is not true anymore for JavaScript. People
       | will get into intense arguments over TS vs JS, React, etc and
       | argue from the same position of "faith" or strongly held beliefs
       | rather than logic.
        
       | narag wrote:
       | I must have missed it at the time, otherwise I would remember
       | this gem:
       | 
       |  _Because the point at which this happens depends on the people
       | rather than the topic, it 's a mistake to conclude that because a
       | question tends to provoke religious wars, it must have no
       | answer._
       | 
       | Not sure if it depends on people or interests, probably a
       | combination of both, but there's so many of those problems with
       | obvious solutions that are discussed endlessly.
        
       | aeturnum wrote:
       | This is SUCH "Paul Graham" advice - useful mostly to people who
       | sit on top of a hierarchy of power which does not demand any of
       | their personal attention.
       | 
       | I think the good version of this advice is: actively evaluate
       | what is important to you and what you can do to maintain and
       | further it. We are all involved, to one degree or another, in
       | systems and processes larger than ourselves. By definition, our
       | influence on those systems is limited - but we may be able to
       | increase or decrease our influence through work and engagement.
       | It's healthy to reflect on _what_ you are investing your time and
       | energy into and _how_ those investments will impact your life.
       | There is no single right or wrong answer - but you will benefit
       | from forming an opinion!
       | 
       | It's unhealthy to falsely base your self-worth on giant political
       | movements outside your control - but it's equally unhealthy to
       | ignore the impact you experience from the issues of the day. Be
       | reflective in how you associate yourself with things, but no one
       | should pretend that they are not subject to the world (unless, it
       | seems, you're at a "Paul Graham" level of wealth and
       | independence).
        
       | ivanmontillam wrote:
       | Paul Graham predicted the religious wars that produce talking
       | about React and React Native. This includes people that develop
       | using Electron.
       | 
       | You cannot possibly fathom to have a productive conversation with
       | them about less resource-hungry, better-performant alternatives.
       | 
       | It all basically boils down to: _" Who are you to tell me I'm
       | wrong if React is what puts food on my table?"_ which is fine in
       | principle, but blinds them on ways to make their job easier and
       | better in so many ways.
       | 
       | EDIT: Conciseness and style.
        
       | acatnamedjoe wrote:
       | My view is that having a "small identity" is basically impossible
       | in any practical sense. Many issues are inherently subjective,
       | and even for issues that are (philosophically speaking)
       | objective, actual human individuals rarely have the time or the
       | access to data to form a genuinely objective view. We all use
       | heuristic thinking, all the time, which is inevitably massively
       | biased by all kinds of things related to our dispositions and
       | prior experiences (aka identity).
       | 
       | The danger is when you make the fiction of "not having an
       | identity" a big part of your actual identity, which can make you
       | even more blind to your biases than everyone else.
       | 
       | I think a much more productive route to being a more effective
       | thinker is to accept you have an identity just the same as
       | everyone else - and invest time and effort into interrogating
       | what that identity is and what biases and blind-spots it might
       | lead to. This is still far from perfect, of course.
        
         | abecedarius wrote:
         | He said small, not zero.
        
         | AbrahamParangi wrote:
         | Your identity is not fully in your control but not fully out of
         | it either. One can make a conscious choice to "find a tribe" or
         | to not do that.
         | 
         | I believe this essay argues that one should make a conscious
         | choice to avoid tribe affiliation (even if that affiliation is
         | only in your own head) in order to be a better thinker.
        
           | acatnamedjoe wrote:
           | I guess I'm arguing that a conscious choice not to find a
           | tribe just leads to unconsciously finding a tribe instead.
           | 
           | Maybe the real answer is both, though - try to consciously
           | avoid tribal thinking, but also acknowledge that it's likely
           | to creep in anyway, and be aware when it does.
        
         | mdp2021 wrote:
         | > _accept you have_
         | 
         | Bad framing. More like, "be aware that you may have unchecked
         | sides". There is a difference.
        
       | burritas wrote:
       | It seems to be the thing nowadays to be preoccupied with the
       | notion of your own identity, and I can't help but feel like it's
       | just navel gazing. Maybe it's social media and the culture of
       | self promotion, but I find it pretty hollow and uninteresting.
       | 
       | I have a young kid in my family that's fixated with gender and
       | sexuality and they said one day "I just want to get diagnosed so
       | I know what I _am_ ," to which I said "It's not what you are
       | that's important, it's what you want to do." That seemed to be an
       | epiphany for them.
        
         | lo_zamoyski wrote:
         | Poor kid. He's been subjected to what amounts to child abuse.
         | Sadly, that is the norm.
         | 
         | Some say that we have an identity crisis in part because of our
         | liberal, existentialist, non-committal notions of "freedom".
         | It's also what drives much of the opportunism of FOMO and ADHD.
         | The very notions of sacrifice, commitment, suffering for a
         | good, and devotion repel us (whatever "commitments" we do have
         | are merely emotional phantasms, changing as the wind blows). We
         | reject our familial, communal, ethnic, national, religious
         | commitments -- even commitment to the truth _as such_ -- which
         | we have come to detest as  "restrictive" or "oppressive" in
         | favor of a misguided notion of "autonomy"...except that this
         | "autonomy" is achieved precisely by rejecting all that helps us
         | understand who we are from different angles and at varying
         | depths. We become socially alienated and cut off from tradition
         | as such, saddled now with the responsibility of figuring it all
         | out ourselves. What a Herculean task!
         | 
         | Of course, nature abhors a vacuum. The irony is that the
         | abolition of authority and tradition only predisposes us to the
         | tyranny of power. (Incidentally, that's how "community
         | organizing" works: it foments animosity against legitimate
         | authority and its legitimate exercise and then uses it to
         | unseat that authority, whether personal or in the form of
         | tradition, not to "free" people from the real or imagined
         | tyranny of that authority, but to remove what is an obstacle to
         | the power of the dictator who outstrips any of the abuses of
         | his predecessors.) Nobody is easier to control than an
         | ignorant, irrational, atomized human being enslaved to his
         | emotions and to his desires, in a state of fear,
         | disorientation, and disregulation. A man has as many masters as
         | he has vices, spake Augustine.
         | 
         | It is little wonder that, given this crippled and desiccated
         | state, we look for our "identities" in superstition and petty
         | nonsense and in what remains, what is base, as if we were
         | trying to divine the future from tea leaves. We think that the
         | kernel of the "true self" lies hidden in what is base, not in
         | human nature as a whole and what it is ordered toward. Reason
         | is a liar. The orgasm is our beatific vision. Consumption is
         | our creed. Emotion is our revelation.
        
           | vore wrote:
           | "Child abuse"? Please, give me a break. This is no different
           | to any kid muddling through adolescence and trying to make
           | sense of their emotions as they grow up. Just because it's
           | about gender and sexuality doesn't make it child abuse.
        
       | motohagiography wrote:
       | I wonder if people ask themselves, "am I a good artifact of
       | criticism?"
       | 
       | Obectively, your identity is a set of meaningless reflections you
       | have cohered into a narrative that centralizes your subjective
       | experience. Subjectively, your identity is a story you protect
       | and use a constant process of retroactive continuity to moralize
       | and preserve it.
       | 
       | They are both artifacts of language, which is not a substrate or
       | the real that persists when you are gone. Your identity is
       | chosen. The value of an axiom like spiritual faith is that your
       | choice can come from the reflection of something objective,
       | persistent, and compassionate, instead of the reflections and
       | artifacts of the language and meaning you have been presented
       | with - often as a yoke. Be what you choose, not what may have
       | happened, and especially not what someone who wants something
       | from you tells you.
       | 
       | If your identity is the artifact of dialectic materialism, you
       | have already accepted that you are a subject, working off an
       | indenture in the name of earthly material justice, in pursuit of
       | redemption from an imaginary critic who will never yield. I
       | believe we have choice. Let one thing into your identity, and the
       | rest becomes obvious, imo.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | mch82 wrote:
       | Alternate advice: practice skills of listening, observing,
       | empathy, dialog, sharing, building. These are the skills you will
       | need to deal with people.
       | 
       | People can have a difficult time talking about religion,
       | politics, and programming languages because these issues affect
       | their lives. When you say something that threatens another
       | person's life, expect a strong reaction to that threat. The key
       | to having productive discussions about topics like these is to
       | start with empathy, look for and diffuse threats, and seek a
       | future state that creates space for the needs and goals of all
       | stakeholders.
       | 
       | Edit: also, life is a lot more fun when approached with
       | curiosity. Stay curious.
        
         | fouroneone wrote:
         | There are cases where someones entire life is founded on a lie
         | and that no productive discussion is possible. Sure you can
         | "discuss" these topics amicably but they always end up
         | "agreeing to disagree". Nothing was changed, the needle wasn't
         | moved.. the discussion was useless and unproductive.
         | 
         | The truly challenging question here is HOW do you have a truly
         | productive discussion around these topics. Graham is right. The
         | ONLY way is for someone to give up his identity. True
         | dispassion. That is the only time when someone can truly
         | discuss these hard topics "productively". There is literally no
         | other way.
         | 
         | Your method involves sort of dancing around the controversial
         | topic and having useless but amicable discussions. I think your
         | advice leads to unproductive conversations and it's also really
         | obvious knowledge that everyone is somewhat aware about.
         | 
         | But I'm happy to hear other peoples opinions! We can agree to
         | disagree.
        
           | mdp2021 wrote:
           | You are missing an important point of the poster: you have to
           | abandon cageing self-prejudice - but at the same time, a
           | similar operation should done one the image of the other.
           | Give up identities (self-side) and give up prejudice (other-
           | side).
        
           | selimthegrim wrote:
           | Is this not Jungian disintegration/disindividuation?
        
       | imchillyb wrote:
       | Identity is not 'what I do', but 'who I am.'
       | 
       | 'Who I am' does not include tangents such as what programming
       | language I utilize.
       | 
       | 'Who I am' speaks to the intrinsic nature of me. What my core
       | being considers unalterable and unchanging specifics.
       | 
       | Most of the topics here in this thread do not speak to that.
        
         | fouroneone wrote:
         | No it's interconnected. What you do is tied to who you are.
         | 
         | It's visible in language. People often use the term "I am a
         | java programmer" rather then "I am a programmer who uses java".
         | 
         | The topics in this thread don't speak to it because it's
         | implicitly implied.
        
       | nothrowaways wrote:
       | This validates why discussions on HN (or even reddit) are more
       | sincere and useful than, say, Quora.
        
       | midhhhthrow wrote:
       | Absolutely. Identification and all the labels you carry are the
       | source of most conflict.
       | 
       | Sages of the east have recognized this for thousands of years and
       | seek to dissolve the ego, dissolve all the labels that we think
       | we are.
        
         | mdp2021 wrote:
         | Interestingly, the parent was posted two hours ago and I find
         | it near the bottom.
         | 
         | It is either revealing of the visiting patterns of HN members,
         | or.
        
       | fourfoursix wrote:
        
         | ryanklee wrote:
         | Holy moly. People cannot escape cognitive biases even by
         | knowing about cognitive biases. This includes you. It seems
         | that you think you have somehow transcended this condition.
         | This is just another bias. And this particular one is maybe the
         | most insidious of all because it convinces you you're better
         | than most on a fundamental level and protects you from
         | introspection and criticism. Seek humility.
        
           | fourfoursix wrote:
           | How so. I simply said, "consider the possibility." Because
           | scientifically. These are possibilities. Realistic ones in
           | fact. I directly picked them for their controversy. I am
           | aware of the direction they run counter to the norms. Are you
           | aware of your biases? Are you aware how inline with cultural
           | norms and biases that your opinions are?
           | 
           | At times, many of these things weren't controversial. How do
           | you know that the current thinking is correct? Based off what
           | science? Or is it bias?
           | 
           | HN isn't better. It's biased.
        
             | ryanklee wrote:
             | The fact that your comment is flagged and dead should give
             | you pause. The fact that it doesn't give you pause should
             | give you pause. The fact that you think I am objecting to
             | your specific assertions rather than the mode of assertions
             | should give you pause. Yet, it seems that self-regards of
             | epistemic superiority is the only unstable fuel you need to
             | travel down a lonely road. Good luck.
        
               | fourfoursix wrote:
               | >The fact that your comment is flagged and dead should
               | give you pause. The fact that it doesn't give you pause
               | should give you pause.
               | 
               | There is no pause. I KNOW the COST of my beliefs. It is a
               | high cost and your reaction and the flag is a small PART
               | of that cost.
               | 
               | I live a life of lies. Externally I believe none of these
               | things and I pretend to be normal just like you. But
               | internally I see darkness everywhere.
               | 
               | Keep in mind, I don't care if my beliefs are implemented
               | to make a better world. I could care less. In fact most
               | of the beliefs I hold, I feel if the world knew the truth
               | it would be worse off for everybody. I'm not really an
               | opponent against any group here.
               | 
               | >"Yet, it seems that self-regards of epistemic
               | superiority is the only unstable fuel you need to travel
               | down a lonely road."
               | 
               | We both know that epistemic superiority is not worth it
               | for any human. You underestimate the sacrifices involved
               | with believing in these things. Nobody makes that choice.
               | I get what your saying but you are disregarding the cost
               | way too much here. A sense of superiority is not reward
               | enough for the price one must pay to believe in these
               | things.
               | 
               | I am what I am because I cannot un-believe what I think
               | is true. I have no choice. Can you not believe 1 + 1 = 2?
               | To me the conclusions are inescapable. But of course it
               | could be that I am biased. Biased people do not know they
               | are biased. Whether or not I am biased, I can assure you
               | that I am not where I am by choice. I am where I am
               | because I have no choice.
               | 
               | >The fact that you think I am objecting to your specific
               | assertions rather than the mode of assertions should give
               | you pause.
               | 
               | This DOES give me pause. Please describe to me in detail
               | what you mean by "Mode."
        
             | selimthegrim wrote:
             | For one example you might want to consider how Asian males
             | are considered in Latin America as opposed to the US (hint:
             | a lot more desirable)
        
               | fourfivefour wrote:
               | Valid info. I have not considered it. Economic status and
               | size are factors in female attraction. Asians are
               | generally higher in economic status, statistically
               | speaking, and latin americans are generally poorer and
               | smaller in size so they are more comparable in stature to
               | East Asians. This makes logical sense to what I already
               | know. However it doesn't invalidate the German Sheppard
               | theory. North Americans are generally larger than East
               | Asians and the wealth gap is not as large.
               | 
               | Still all of this is besides the point. Without knowing
               | the latin american thing, my conclusion and theory is
               | valid in terms of the probability of being true. But
               | people dismiss it because of bias, not because of
               | evidence or logic.
        
         | urban_alien wrote:
        
         | ethanbond wrote:
         | "I am observing from an objective position" is the surest sign
         | of a deeply compromised thinker.
        
           | BlueTemplar wrote:
           | Yeah, while I would in theory applaud the example of
           | "scientist" that Graham gave, let's not delude ourselves,
           | it's quite vulnerable to exactly this kind of failure mode.
           | Some other examples : scientism, "angry atheism",
           | "rationalism" (mostly for the arrogant and historically
           | opposite meaning for that last one)...
        
             | fourfoursix wrote:
        
           | fourfoursix wrote:
           | Except that, that quotation is a fabrication. It was never
           | stated by me, nor was it stated in the article.
           | 
           | It is also logically flawed. If there exists in this world
           | someone who was truly objective. Would they know they're
           | objective?
           | 
           | Knowing if oneself is objective or not is in itself an
           | objective calculation. If that person was truly objective,
           | then the answer is yes, he would know. But I get your point,
           | there are many who think they are "objective" but they are
           | not.
           | 
           | Mind you, one test for objectivity is to see whether your
           | thoughts are the result of parroting cultural norms or if
           | they arise from objective thinking. If your thoughts are
           | objective there is no rule that such thoughts should imitate
           | cultural norms. One will notice that ones opinions are
           | "different" so to say.
           | 
           | My points pass those tests. It doesn't mean I am "objective"
           | but it is evidence for it.
        
             | ethanbond wrote:
             | No, believing things other people don't believe is actually
             | not evidence of objectivity.
        
               | fourfoursix wrote:
        
               | ethanbond wrote:
               | Your ultimate objective should be _thriving,_ ideally for
               | you and as many people and creatures as you can afford to
               | account for. Truth is valuable because since the
               | enlightenment period it has seemed to be extremely
               | valuable in securing thriving.
               | 
               | If you instead are picking Truth and Lack Of Bias over,
               | for example, a rich social life, I'd suggest you are
               | putting the cart before the horse.
               | 
               | I hope you find your place with the right mix of
               | imperfect belongingness and imperfect veracity! Both are
               | important :)
        
               | fouroneone wrote:
               | Oh, It's completely too late for me. I cannot unbelieve
               | what I believe.
               | 
               | I already live a life of lies. Nobody knows what I
               | believe and I lie to seem normal and socialize-able. I
               | also don't hold any strong desire to "implement" my
               | beliefs. It's just a perspective.. I am an observer with
               | opinions and I don't care to be any sort of activist.
               | 
               | I largely agree with your last post. However it's too
               | late. I no longer believe what I believe out of choice. I
               | have no choice in what I believe. Once these truths
               | crystallize in your head as truths, they stay that way
               | unless someone can point out any logical flaws. Thinking
               | back it would've been better to not have gone down the
               | path of being cursed with knowledge.
               | 
               | I actually wish to be part of certain religious
               | communities because of the great social benefits that
               | come with being part of said groups. But certain
               | knowledge makes me unable to fully participate because
               | the lie becomes to great.
               | 
               | Imagine praying and worshiping and studying about an
               | entity that I believe is a complete fabrication... just
               | for social benefits. The time sunk into living that lie
               | is too great. So usually I'm part of more moderate groups
               | that mostly avoid these topics. But these groups tend to
               | be more ephemeral.
               | 
               | Humans need a shared lie/belief to bond deeply, and if
               | you lose the ability to lie to yourself it's harder to
               | join these more close knit groups.
               | 
               | However as I grow older, I contemplate more and more
               | whether the lie is worth it. Maybe one day when I'm an
               | old lonely man like I'm 70, I'll live the lie and join
               | one of those religious groups.
               | 
               | >Your ultimate objective should be thriving, ideally for
               | you and as many people and creatures as you can afford to
               | account for.
               | 
               | I want to comment on this part specifically. Because
               | there's a problem here. Being aware that thriving is more
               | important then truth and living by that principle means
               | that you are aware that your concept of what is true is
               | on shaky grounds. You KNOW you made sacrifices to what
               | your truth is in order to thrive. You are aware you are
               | lying to yourself and that defeats the nature of the lie.
               | 
               | To truly thrive in my opinion, you must be unaware and
               | ignorant of these concepts. You must not think about or
               | even be aware about the orthogonality of happiness and
               | knowledge. Just go with the flow. These are the people
               | that are truly happy.
               | 
               | From your post it seems it's a little too late for you as
               | well, you're not as deep as me but you're somewhat down
               | that path. You're aware of the shared lie, you just
               | choose not to think about it too deeply. That's an ok
               | place to be. You might not have contemplated about these
               | topics to deeply and have the "I'm not an expert so I
               | don't know" attitude and it works out. Just know that
               | each step forward down that path is permanent, there is
               | no turning back.
               | 
               | Anyway I brought up this thread, the main purpose was
               | basically to point out that although what graham says is
               | true, giving up your identity for rationality has a High
               | Cost. But this point is lost because my "6 bullet points"
               | (designed with the intent to point out our own biases)
               | was way to visceral. It shows how inescapable bias really
               | is.
               | 
               | I'm actually hoping to meet someone like-minded. Someone
               | who "gets it" on the same level that I do. But that seems
               | less and less likely given the flag.
        
               | narag wrote:
               | I believe that the answer you seek is in the article.
               | You're too attached to a sick mindset. It's better to
               | stop overthinking and doing something that have more
               | pleasant effects (for you) than writting long-winded
               | comments here. Or maybe not.
        
               | fourfivefour wrote:
               | I don't think you read my comment or the article
               | carefully. The extreme end of that article, giving up all
               | your identity is my "sick mindset". That is the ultimate
               | conclusion.
               | 
               | You might as well not comment if you're not going to read
               | anything. I don't care for you comment otherwise. Better
               | for you to start actually thinking and stop mistaking
               | that for "over thinking", because your reply indicates
               | you haven't.
        
       ___________________________________________________________________
       (page generated 2022-12-10 23:01 UTC)