[HN Gopher] Nearly six in 10 US young adults live within 10 mile...
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Nearly six in 10 US young adults live within 10 miles of where they
       grew up
        
       Author : amyamyamy2
       Score  : 112 points
       Date   : 2022-12-08 19:01 UTC (3 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.census.gov)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.census.gov)
        
       | jchanimal wrote:
       | I wish the data explorer also showed per-capita moving rates.
       | It's hard to tell if a place is sending proportionately more
       | migrants to another place or if the source just starts with a
       | high population.
        
       | occamschainsaw wrote:
       | I am currently very conflicted about this. I grew up in India but
       | was fortunate to live in the US and now in Europe for
       | undergrad/grad school. I am (slightly) older than the demographic
       | in the article. I am planning on settling down with my girlfriend
       | soon, after I finish some career related stuff. If I want to
       | start a family, I really want to move back to my hometown in
       | India, with the strong social support system. While moving around
       | has been exciting and an eye-opening experience, I am tired of
       | constantly making new friends and leaving them after a few years,
       | and miss my family some times, and eventually the kids would
       | benefit from being around their grandparents. On the other hand,
       | moving back would be career limiting.
       | 
       | Does anybody who is further along on the journey have any advice?
       | How did you make this decision?
        
       | crooked-v wrote:
       | I'd be interested to see this data weighted against population
       | density. As-is, I suspect it's massively tilted by how in places
       | like Los Angeles, Chicago, or NYC you can go 5 miles and
       | practically be in a different country.
        
       | atlgator wrote:
       | If I had become a doctor or a hotelier I definitely would've
       | stayed in my home town. I miss it greatly, but there's zero tech
       | presence and remote jobs seem to be drying up.
        
         | dibt wrote:
         | > If I had become a doctor or a hotelier I definitely would've
         | stayed in my home town.
         | 
         | According to the study, you would likely have not stayed:
         | 
         | "By linking young adults to their parents, we can see that this
         | migration is primarily driven by individuals who grew up in
         | affluent families."
         | 
         | A low-income family is less likely to send their kid to school
         | to be a doctor or hotelier.
        
       | bombcar wrote:
       | 60% of young adults live within the metro area they grew up in,
       | at age 26.
       | 
       | That's not surprising, especially with how many college graduates
       | move home now.
       | 
       | I wouldn't be surprised if a substantial amount of the remainder
       | stay near where they colleged.
        
       | layman51 wrote:
       | I think I count as one of the six. Since I live in an expensive
       | and affluent area, I think I am one of the few people who lives
       | close to where they grew up. In my opinion, moving away gives you
       | more opportunity and life experiences. It is a very US American
       | and "immigrant" thing to do. Personally, I haven't taken that
       | route because I have no idea what my living situation would be
       | like and I think it would probably be worse for me in terms of
       | psychology and social life.
        
       | Yhippa wrote:
       | I moved from where I grew up. The biggest advantage is access to
       | better career paths and potential with my career. If I get laid
       | off, there are more diverse work options, unlike where I grew up.
       | 
       | The flip side is that being able to have family help out easily
       | when our kid is sick. Also I have friends who stayed back home
       | (the ratio matching this article title pretty closely) and they
       | have barbecues together, can hang out on a random night around a
       | fire pit, watch movies in their backyard, and other fun things.
       | About planting roots and settling down.
       | 
       | I'm really torn about these two ways of going about it. There's
       | something very comforting about setting down roots and having a
       | solid network of friends and family. The flip side is that you're
       | probably leaving a lot of opportunity on the table. The history
       | of success in America seems to lean towards being nomadic.
        
         | chrisco255 wrote:
         | I feel like with remote work, it's possible to have your cake
         | and eat it, too. Depends on your career, but at least in
         | software, it no longer feels like you have to move to a tech
         | hub to make it, for example.
        
         | siquick wrote:
         | Depends on your definition of success?
         | 
         | I moved to the other side of the world from where I grew up in
         | my early 30s, and I grew up at the other end of the country
         | from where I was born and lived my early years.
         | 
         | I have a great group of mates I met in my early twenties and
         | still speak with daily on WhatsApp.
         | 
         | As you say they meet up regularly, know each others families
         | well, and they have not left their home area and have been
         | friends since primary school.
         | 
         | They're all jealous that I have lived an "adventurous and
         | exciting" life and I'm jealous that they have amazingly solid
         | roots.
        
           | dorchadas wrote:
           | I'm in pretty much this exact situation right now (we
           | actually all left then returned in early/mid 20s after
           | university), and, well, it's still lonely. WhatsApp (or, in
           | our case, Discord) is no substitution for physically being
           | able to meet up. I have friends where I live now, but it's
           | not the same level of depth in the friendship, where we'd
           | just go to each other's houses and shoot the shit for hours
           | about everything and nothing (as we've done since high
           | school) and I feel that is something I didn't realise I
           | wanted and was missing until I moved. It's actually got me
           | seriously reconsidering returning. Gonna be hard leaving
           | after Christmas this year.
        
       | fdsfdxfvcx wrote:
       | i had the best of both worlds. moved from my hometown to seattle
       | for while, made a lot of money in tech, bought and sold a house
       | in seattle at the right time, moved back to my hometown. now i
       | have a paid off house 5 mins from the house i lived in during
       | high school. i was able to keep the seattle salary so now i am
       | living like a king in my old hometown, honestly its amazing
        
       | WheelsAtLarge wrote:
       | I've regularly read that most people in the world live and die
       | within 50 miles of where they were born. Even now that travel is
       | so common.
        
         | kube-system wrote:
         | Travel is common for the top 10-20% richest people in the
         | world.
         | 
         | For 80% of the world, travel is something that 'other people'
         | do.
        
       | Hasz wrote:
       | While I am not within the 60%, I live about 80km from where I
       | grew up (basically the same metro area), and I feel fortunate
       | enough to not have to move very far for my career. I have only
       | ever worked remote, and truly love where I live.
       | 
       | I have traveled to most US states and about a dozen countries,
       | and wouldn't trade my home for any of them. The structural
       | advantages (family, friends, regional knowledge, activities) are
       | tremendous. If you are planning to have children, having
       | parents/relatives around to share in the childcare is an enormous
       | financial advantage.
        
       | rr888 wrote:
       | I'm just amazed in my new job I actually have an American in my
       | team.
        
         | rr888 wrote:
         | Actually after being away from home for 20 years I'd love to go
         | back but wife and kids prefer staying :(.
        
           | granshaw wrote:
           | Same sometimes I dream of working remotely and taking my USD
           | savings and enjoying the luxe life back in SE Asia
        
       | amelius wrote:
       | America, land of the free ... well perhaps not.
        
       | JumpinJack_Cash wrote:
       | I don't think many commenters in this thread realize the
       | minuscule size of a human and how the things which most impact
       | our happiness are located in our close proximity and
       | surroundings. It's almost like a physical law , the weight that
       | something has on our happiness diminishes exponentially with the
       | distance from ourselves. The importance of the setup is
       | constantly underappreciated.
       | 
       | Each and everyone of us has 150 people in their circle of
       | acquaintances . And 90% of our happiness depends on the quality
       | of our relationship with the top 10 people in such list.
       | 
       | Similarly with the external enviornment. 90% of our happiness
       | depends on the conditions of the external enviornment in a radius
       | of 300 yds.
       | 
       | It's very easy to be blinded by the lights of NYC or Hollywood,
       | but those megalopolis are incredibly big and again humans are so
       | small.
       | 
       | A good setup in Albuquerque or Salt Lake City beats a mediocre
       | setup in NYC or LA every day of the week.
       | 
       | Sure the Empire State Building is nice to look at,but it gets old
       | fast, especially while you see it in passing while on your way to
       | be screamed at by your boss at your second job that you had to
       | take because you can't make the rent.
       | 
       | Given how small humans are, the ideal setup can be everywhere
       | except for maybe Somalia or Congo. But even then if you are the
       | undisputed king of Somalia, that's much better than being an
       | Investment Banker in NYC. Despite the fact that a block in NYC
       | generates more GDP than the entire country of Somalia,the claim
       | of the king on such small GDP is almost total, whereas an
       | investment banker has zero claim on the GDP being produced in a
       | block in NYC, he has zero claim on anything period.
       | 
       | I think it was Julius Caesar who said: "I would rather be first
       | in a little village than second in Rome".
        
       | nerdjon wrote:
       | This just seems insane to me.
       | 
       | I purposefully graduated early from highschool (1 semester less
       | and it only worked because of where my birthday was) to move 853
       | miles from where I grew up to where I currently live. My partner
       | did a similar move (before we met).
       | 
       | When I talk to most of my friends it is a similar story.
       | 
       | I just can't imagine not wanting to explore a new area and have
       | distance from your parents. I love my parents, we talk a couple
       | times a week, but I don't need them physically close to me. (last
       | couple years being the exception for obvious reasons).
       | 
       | Maybe this is because I am gay and I needed out of the south (as
       | are many of my friends), I also wanted to move to an urban city
       | like so many in my generation.
       | 
       | This just seems insane for me to think about.
        
         | atomicnumber3 wrote:
         | Here's my 2c (I'm 30 for the record):
         | 
         | I was born in a flyover state. There's ~no coding jobs here,
         | and the ones that are here, pay pittances compared to anywhere
         | not adjacent to a (feed)corn field.
         | 
         | I moved 250 miles away (to the other side of my state... dang
         | is the US huge) to take a tech job that payed closer to what
         | coastal companies will pay.
         | 
         | The next step was probably to move to Seattle or SF and take a
         | "real" tech job there. But two things happened at the same
         | time:
         | 
         | 1. remote work really grew up. now I can work from anywhere and
         | (mostly. geo-adjusting etc. luckily that seems to be on the
         | decline.) get paid well.
         | 
         | 2. We had our first child. Now suddenly close access to our
         | support network (parents etc) is both logistically important
         | ("hey mom can you watch the kids for a weekend so we can
         | sleep") and emotionally important (grandparents getting to see
         | the kids every weekend or two instead of significantly less
         | often).
         | 
         | So now instead of looking to move an additional 2k miles away,
         | I moved back to be ~2 miles from one set of parents and ~20
         | miles from the other set.
         | 
         | I'm not really thrilled about the local jobs or local politics
         | etc. But family is incredibly important to have physically
         | close, and so here I am. Thank heavens for remote coding jobs.
        
           | piyh wrote:
           | Seconding this as my exact scenario too.
        
         | why5s wrote:
         | > I just can't imagine not wanting to explore a new area and
         | have distance from your parents. I love my parents, we talk a
         | couple times a week, but I don't need them physically close to
         | me. (last couple years being the exception for obvious
         | reasons).
         | 
         | We want to. But between housing prices and student loans, we
         | can't afford to.
        
         | AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote:
         | Whereas I can't imagine leaving everyone I know, my entire
         | social support structure, to run off to some strange new are
         | where I know nobody and need start all over again.
         | 
         | > Maybe this is because I am gay and I needed out of the south
         | 
         | ...well ok, that makes a lot of sense.
        
         | paulcole wrote:
         | It seems insane to me to think about taking to my parents
         | weekly. I know they exist, I don't need to talk to them.
         | 
         | What seems unimaginable to one of us is not just normal but
         | desirable to the other.
         | 
         | The same is true for deciding where to live.
        
           | nerdjon wrote:
           | Just to clarify, what I find insane is the numbers because it
           | doesn't line up with my experience within most of the people
           | I generally talk too
        
         | _jal wrote:
         | I left the south and never looked back, too. (Not gay, but I am
         | non-conformist, which didn't play well in an evangelical town
         | with more cows than people.)
         | 
         | In talking to people who got out vs. some who didn't, there
         | seem to be three main, interrelated things that hold people
         | local: money, class and fear.
         | 
         | - Obviously money makes moving to the Big City much easier, and
         | more of it is always better. But below some point, it becomes
         | incredibly hard to make work - if your parents are in the
         | bottom half of the income gradient, first, last + deposit on a
         | San Francisco apartment and a couple $k on moving and move-in
         | is a huge expense.
         | 
         | - Class matters a lot, in that it colors how distant, urban
         | places are perceived. Some members of my family have an almost
         | cartoonishly apocalyptic fantasy vision about what cities are
         | like, and the fact that nobody's sucked the marrow from my
         | bones in 30 years of urban living will never change that.
         | 
         | It also effects the likelihood of knowing people who did move
         | away. If nobody you personally know has done it, it really does
         | become much harder to do for multiple reasons, both
         | psychological and concrete.
         | 
         | - Finally, fear of "not making it", of something Bad happening,
         | and of making a costly choice that you regret, of having to
         | "slink back home" for whatever reason really weigh on people.
         | Of course if you don't know anyone who's ever lived in a major
         | metro, and if the cost of trying is big enough, that fear can
         | massively amplify.
         | 
         | I moved to SF almost 30 years ago. It was a leap of faith - I
         | landed with enough money for food for about two weeks and slept
         | on a friend's floor for a few months while I worked shit jobs
         | to get established. That path is harder now - I wouldn't now be
         | able to get an apartment here now washing dishes and serving
         | drinks. So if anything, I suspect the above is more salient now
         | than it was a generation ago.
        
         | kcb wrote:
         | The differing cultures in the US. I come from an Italian
         | America family in the the NYC suburbs. All of my siblings and
         | extended family live within like at most a 30 minute drive and
         | I have 4 close family members within like a 2 block radius.
         | There was never any idea of having to get out of here to make
         | it because we were already in commuting distance to Manhattan.
        
         | bluGill wrote:
         | I've live many hours away from my parents, and I no consider it
         | insane to do so. When I lived with my parents I could make a
         | few phone calls and have a dozen people on my roof - now if
         | there is a problem I have to pay a crew even though I know how
         | to do the work (since there are things that cannot be done
         | alone) When my wife and I want a date - too bad: there is no
         | babysitter nearby that will work on Friday night that we trust,
         | so we don't have that option. There are many other similar
         | things about being close to family that I miss.
         | 
         | I enjoy exploring the world. However eventually I want to come
         | back home.
        
           | caned wrote:
           | > However eventually I want to come back home.
           | 
           | Make a move before it's too late. Or convince them to move
           | close to you.
           | 
           | If you love being with your parents, your window of doing so
           | is fast shrinking.
           | 
           | I wish I had understood this sooner.
        
         | duped wrote:
         | It's probably helped by just the difference in scale between
         | urban and rural communities. Most people wouldn't share your
         | feeling to move to an urban city, because most people are
         | already in one.
         | 
         | I did the same thing though and moved away from my family. I
         | moved back during the pandemic and while I know everyone has a
         | different family dynamic, I can't believe what I was missing.
         | The physical, financial, and emotional support system of having
         | family 15 min down the road is hard to quantify.
        
       | cletus wrote:
       | So my family has long described ourselves as nomadic. We just
       | seem to get the wanderlust and want to pick up and move after
       | some years in some place. I myself have lived in 5 different
       | countries so far.
       | 
       | My great-grandfather (who died long before I was born) was a
       | fairly extreme example of this. Shortly before WWI he decided to
       | jump on a boat in Germany and immigrate to Australia (coming
       | originally from the Baltic states). It seems like a fortuitous
       | time to leave Europe.
       | 
       | I have a hard time wrapping my mind around that. His brother did
       | basically the same thing (although in his case he was partly
       | motivated by escaping getting conscripted into the Army). His
       | story is fascinating too. A book was even written about it. He
       | actually found an abandoned boat, fixed it up, made his own
       | instruments and sailed to America in the 1930s across the Pacific
       | Ocean because he always wanted to visit America.
       | 
       | I think about that and wonder what is it about some people who
       | seem to be constantly restless while others seem content to
       | staying pretty much exactly where they were born. I don't really
       | understand that mindset but in some ways I envy it.
       | 
       | One of the most culturally identifiable songs to Australians is a
       | song from the 1970s called Khe Sanh by a band named Cold Chisel.
       | It's quite literally about a Vietnam vet with PTSD. it has a
       | verse that goes like this:                   And I've traveled
       | 'round the world from year to year         And each one found me
       | aimless, one more year the worse for wear         And I've been
       | back to Southeast Asia, and the answer sure ain't there
       | But I'm drifting north, to check things out again, yes, I am
       | 
       | I think about that too.
        
         | canniballectern wrote:
         | > what is it about some people who seem to be constantly
         | restless while others seem content to staying pretty much
         | exactly where they were born
         | 
         | IMO the main factors would be your economic situation and your
         | relationship with your family. People with little money and
         | tight family ties probably wouldn't be keen to move very far,
         | whereas someone with a bad or indifferent relationship to
         | family and the means to head elsewhere would probably do so.
        
           | dotnet00 wrote:
           | I feel like relationship to family isn't as big of a limiter
           | these days. I'm pretty close with my family and do miss them
           | (they being on the other side of the world), but being able
           | to video call them essentially whenever our waking times line
           | up takes care of a lot of the issues. As a result of which I
           | can still share any problems I have and get advice or
           | similarly help them in dealing with their problems.
           | 
           | The few years my siblings spent half the world away from us
           | prior to the proliferation of smartphones (and thus the
           | ability for video calls to just happen whenever instead of
           | being specifically organized) did seem to strongly weaken
           | their relationship with the rest of the family though. They
           | seemed to feel abandoned due to essentially having to grow up
           | on their own (ie finish up college and start working) due to
           | not being able to as easily share their issues.
        
       | ifightcrime wrote:
       | Makes sense.
        
       | irrational wrote:
       | That is mind boggling to me. I don't know anyone that lives in
       | the same state they grew up in. I live about 3,000 miles away
       | from where I grew up. I have 7 siblings and none of us live in
       | our home state (and none of us live in the same state as another
       | one - we live in NY, CA, MI, TX, OR, OH, UT, CO - we grew up in
       | FL).
       | 
       | Though, I remember that one of my brothers once lived in
       | Pennsylvania and he met 2 women who had never left their county
       | and were amazed that he lived in so many other places and
       | wondered out loud if he had been scared to live in places other
       | than where he lived right then in PA. The mind set that other
       | places are scary to live in is so foreign to me.
        
         | rhino369 wrote:
         | Moving for a job has a huge social cost for most people. You
         | leave behind everyone you know.
         | 
         | That might be worth it for someone who wants to forge a career
         | or explore. But for the average person who pushes paper at a
         | generic office? You can do that anywhere. So why not do it
         | where everyone you know lives?
         | 
         | There is a trade off to never putting down roots.
        
           | ghaff wrote:
           | Well, for people going to college, not everyone has really
           | deep roots with their high school and grade school friends.
           | (Though some may. And family although family can move too as
           | in my case.) There can certainly be a bigger costs as you
           | move on especially with people who establish large local
           | networks.
        
         | HPsquared wrote:
         | Probably the "move around a lot" people don't talk much with
         | the "don't move around much" people, and vice-versa.
        
           | ghaff wrote:
           | You have e.g. lifelong New Yorkers who may have gone to
           | school elsewhere but can't really imagine living anyplace
           | else.
           | 
           | But you have a couple of different groups broadly speaking.
           | People who never moved out of a small town and people who
           | gravitated back towards some major metro for any number of
           | reasons.
           | 
           | And remember there are a lot of basically "small towns" that
           | are counted with urban areas in the US.
        
           | iak8god wrote:
           | The "don't move around people" are busy hanging out with
           | their family and high school friends.
        
             | drivers99 wrote:
             | Sometimes those small town groups move together as well!
             | 
             | My example: Shortly after college, I moved to the city half
             | way across the country because my high school friend lived
             | there. And then several other of our high school friends
             | (all from a small town) moved there with their spouses as
             | well, and we'd all hang out and even started a company
             | together for a while. We eventually all went our separate
             | ways, at least as far as what states we live in. (There is
             | still some amount of moving to be closer again going on as
             | well. For example my ex's family and a friend from the
             | state we moved to moved closer to her.)
        
           | vlunkr wrote:
           | Definitely selection bias in some way.
        
           | emodendroket wrote:
           | When I used to live in Massachusetts I found it boggling how
           | many people had never lived anywhere else. Southern
           | California, where I now live, I think actually has a narrow
           | transplant majority.
        
             | thebradbain wrote:
             | Which is fascinating, because while we know California is
             | technically net-outward migration (people moving to other
             | states), the demographic of people net MOVING to California
             | is by people in the top 5%.
             | 
             | California is essentially gentrifying at the state level
             | with wealthy transplants, pushing working and middle class
             | people who grew up here out of the state.
             | 
             | [1] https://www.latimes.com/politics/la-pol-sac-skelton-
             | income-t...
        
               | emodendroket wrote:
               | You can't win, huh? Move to California, you're
               | gentrifying it. Move out of California, you're
               | gentrifying wherever you go. Perhaps this framework isn't
               | the best to think about it.
        
               | naniwaduni wrote:
               | Better to not interact with California whatsoever.
        
             | eropple wrote:
             | I find Massachusetts to be pretty big, for a small place. I
             | moved here from Maine after college and there isn't really
             | anywhere else I want to be. I travel recreationally, but
             | like--if I'd been born here, I don't know why I'd live
             | somewhere else. (Spent time in California, for example. Not
             | my thing.)
             | 
             | Sometimes I think about buying a place back near where I
             | grew up, but my parents don't live there anymore and it's
             | really not that much cheaper than my current house for
             | losing out on a lot of things, so...I don't know why I
             | actually would. It's just more lawn-mowing.
        
         | daveslash wrote:
         | I'm similar -- 3k miles, but still within the US. My
         | siblings/cousins/family that I grew up less than 10 miles from
         | are now spread between NY, CA, PA, TX, RI, NH, NC, ME, MI.
         | 
         | I was travelling through PA once as well and was at a local
         | dive bar chatting up some folks - and they'd never even left
         | their county either - not even for casual travel.
        
           | wronglebowski wrote:
           | Maybe it's just the area. I'm in the Philly suburbs and while
           | I love it here I cannot express how little people travel.
           | Even going downtown is a "big deal" if you've grown up to
           | believe either,
           | 
           | 1. Cities are awful dangerous places with no value 2. Strip
           | malls and chain restaurants are the pinnacle of civilization
           | 
           | When I moved from Bucks County to Chester County I was
           | "moving away" and many people just wrote me off. Despite
           | being an hour or two drive away.
        
             | lotsofpulp wrote:
             | I notice I do not hang out with people that live further
             | than 30min (reliably). I might be willing to make the trek
             | if I was single, but with kids and spouse, it becomes too
             | time consuming for my taste.
        
               | bombcar wrote:
               | 30min away is about the limit for "eh, let's go over" -
               | anything more and you're talking planning, etc.
               | 
               | This is the reason people are willing to commute so damn
               | far; you're _forced_ to commute but if you 're not near
               | your friends, you'll never see them again.
        
           | jcims wrote:
           | I'm from northwestern PA and most of my family on my dads
           | side (9 kids, Irish Catholic) is like that. A divorce
           | separated my brother and I from the pack and we live a few
           | hundred miles away.
           | 
           | My moms side (7 kids, German Methodist) is scattered about,
           | CA,OH,NC,NY,CO,GA and one uncle that stayed near my grandma
           | in PA.
           | 
           | Hands down, far and away I'd take the first situation over
           | the second. The family bonds and stories are incredible. They
           | get together all the time, work together, some go to church
           | together. It's an incredibly tight knit family and at last
           | look three of the women that divorced out of the family still
           | come to gatherings and still carry that family name for
           | decades.
        
             | bombcar wrote:
             | Those large families are impressive; I'm tangentially
             | related by marriage to one and know of a few others in the
             | area, and you quickly realize how something like the Mafia
             | could easily start.
             | 
             | You let it be known you need some help with X and suddenly
             | a cousin appears who specializes in X.
        
           | bombcar wrote:
           | A lot of this depends on where in the country you are.
           | 
           | You can't hardly move at all in Texas without ending up in
           | another county, but you can go 1000+ miles and still be in
           | the same state.
           | 
           | Whereas there are counties in California that are larger than
           | the nine smallest states.
           | 
           | There are many Californians that have been to another
           | _country_ (Mexico) but have never been to another state; they
           | 're far away.
        
       | emodendroket wrote:
       | When I was growing up I always thought this was kind of a sign
       | of, like, giving up, so I'm surprised the numbers are so high. I
       | guess not everyone was thinking the same way.
        
         | kcb wrote:
         | Most Americans live in and around big cities. Ive lived my
         | entire life in commuting distance to Manhattan along with 10s
         | of millions others. There was never any notion from myself or
         | my peers of having to move to "make it". The end goal was
         | always to find a job and get on a bus or train every morning.
        
           | emodendroket wrote:
           | So did I (well if you can tolerate a long commute but many
           | people did it). It's not about chasing opportunities that
           | don't exist, necessarily, but striking out on your own and
           | leaving the familiar.
        
         | ckosidows wrote:
         | Coming from a smaller town (<30,000) I was pretty much taught
         | this. I couldn't go a month without someone wishing I would
         | move away and leave the town behind. I live in a bigger city
         | now and I'm glad but it took effort not to feel ashamed of
         | living in my home town for so long.
         | 
         | Most people in America are born and live in metro areas and I
         | wonder if the same kind of mentality is taught to those people?
        
           | emodendroket wrote:
           | I lived in the metro NYC area.
        
         | bradlys wrote:
         | > When I was growing up I always thought this was kind of a
         | sign of, like, giving up, so I'm surprised the numbers are so
         | high. I guess not everyone was thinking the same way.
         | 
         | It's possible that they just gave up earlier than you did. Many
         | people where I grew up never put any effort into anything
         | because they had resolved themselves to being helpless.
        
       | saraton1n wrote:
       | I was a military child, and so I moved around my whole life. My
       | best friend has lived their whole life in the city I live in now.
       | 
       | Sometimes I get a little jealous because I don't have any heart-
       | connection to any place. Most of the friends I regularly talk to
       | are people I've met within the last 5 years, and I still don't
       | have any still-standing friendships from the time before my dad
       | retired.
       | 
       | But also, I cannot imagine that life, nor do I know if I really
       | want to. Moving around so much gave me such a wide array of
       | interests and cultural knowledge about places in and outside of
       | the US. I think the benefits of that well-rounded background
       | outweigh whatever pangs of sadness I get occasionally about not
       | really feeling like I have a homeland.
        
         | another_story wrote:
         | I split my childhood between three places, and my adult life
         | between four, many in different countries. The wife and I are
         | planning to move again next year.
         | 
         | It's sometimes hard when you see others with their consistent
         | lives, and roots laid down, but at the same time they'll often
         | say how they envy you.
         | 
         | It's similar to the choice of having or not having kids. The
         | trade off in life experiences is neither better or worse, just
         | different.
        
         | fdsfdxfvcx wrote:
         | had that too, the place my dad retired to became my "hometown"
         | 
         | having said that, as i got older and started having kids, i did
         | move back to that hometown. i honestly did enjoy moving every
         | 1-3 years as a kid, but my wife had a similar experience and
         | did not enjoy it. now my kids have a home town and can see both
         | sets of their grandparents every week or so. its also pretty
         | cool taking my kids to the same restaurants and places that i
         | went to when i was younger. based on how much trouble my 5 year
         | old had with this move its not something i want to subject them
         | to any more times(shes happy about it now and we wanted to get
         | it over with before kindergarden etc starts). people like us
         | who had a positive outcome from moving constantly are the
         | outliers i think, its better to give the kids a sense of
         | continuity.
        
         | aaronax wrote:
         | What are the concrete benefits of such a well-rounded
         | background?
        
           | Kye wrote:
           | Not the person you asked, but it's harder to have harmful
           | conceits about people and places when you've been to or met
           | people from them. I've noticed that as the internet has
           | grown, the rhetoric has moved from "lol, Americans" to "why
           | do you vote for these people" to a lot more empathy for how
           | our system is designed to inhibit change (good and bad).
           | 
           | I've changed my understanding of other countries the same
           | way. Mostly from meeting people online, but sometimes in
           | person. Just something as simple as someone asking "what is
           | ketchup?" in line at an elevator at a convention can expand
           | the mind. How do you describe _ketchup_? Everyone knows
           | ketchup! It made me wonder what else was normal and obvious
           | to me that isn 't to someone who's never experienced it.
        
       | maurits wrote:
       | I'm a child of expats who became an expat. Lived in over a dozen
       | countries.
       | 
       | Sometimes I feel like an enlightened citizen moving about.
       | Sometimes I feel like I'm perpetually living in an airport. To
       | quote fight-club, single serving friends and nothing ever stays.
       | 
       | Which is to say, i did me, but i don't see anything wrong at all
       | with staying put.
        
       | Finnucane wrote:
       | I live not far from where I grew up--I moved away and lived in
       | NYC for a while, but eventually came back. I live only about a
       | mile from where my great-grandparents lived when they first came
       | to the US from Romania.
        
       | keewee7 wrote:
       | Ten miles is huge in an increasingly urbanized world. Within a
       | ten miles radius from where I lived in 2017 there was some of the
       | most expensive housing in the world and ghettos with weekly gang
       | shootings. However the city I lived in is objectively regarded as
       | one of the best places to live in the world: Copenhagen, Denmark.
        
         | chrisco255 wrote:
         | Ten miles might make a difference in housing or neighborhood
         | quality, but makes little difference in access to job
         | opportunities, higher education, social activities, etc.
         | Especially if one owns a car, as most Americans do.
        
       | user3939382 wrote:
       | All IMHO of course: we'd be better off if it was 9 of 10. The
       | family is the most important institution we have, it is the
       | backbone driving the most valuable members of our society. The
       | stronger and more cohesive it is the better.
       | 
       | There's a countervailing factor which is that more earnings and
       | economic output arise from jobs in urban areas, which
       | historically can only happen if some members relocate.
       | 
       | Hopefully the trend towards remote work helps alleviate this
       | conflict.
        
         | rayiner wrote:
         | I live about an hour away from where I grew up, but my family
         | moved nearby so they're just a few miles away. Modern economic
         | trends that rip families apart have many downsides. It's much
         | harder to raise kids without family nearby. Likewise, people
         | who don't have family close are much more likely to fall
         | through the cracks if they don't have family around.
        
         | hnthrowaway7518 wrote:
         | I get kind of why you could think this, but honestly I think
         | it's far more important to leave your circle and experience
         | something new as a young adult. It becomes increasingly
         | difficult to move as you age, the longer you stay tied to your
         | familiar environment that you were raised in, the harder it is
         | to take the plunge and explore something different.
         | 
         | I am the only person in my direct family that lives outside of
         | the county (very rural) or neighboring county that I grew up
         | in. I really absolutely cannot fathom living my (probably) only
         | life worrying about social cohesion or economic value of
         | society. I live like 2500 miles from my family, and it used to
         | be a lot further (I lived in east Asia for a while). Despite
         | the distance, technology has allowed for me to keep in close
         | contact with my family.
         | 
         | Taking the chance to explore new cultures and really immerse
         | myself in them, and also live through the crazy Bay Area tech
         | bubble before deciding it wasn't for me, really has provided a
         | lot of excellent life experiences and perspectives. I wouldn't
         | trade these opportunities for anything and strongly encourage
         | younger people to try and leave the nest, at least for a bit,
         | while it's still easy to do so and before they have to decide
         | on things like staying near their parents once they become
         | elderly.
        
         | babelfish wrote:
         | [Citation required] for almost every sentence in your post -
         | most importantly "it is the backbone driving the most valuable
         | members of our society". What a ridiculous assertion.
        
           | chrisco255 wrote:
           | Citations aren't required for opinions.
        
           | user3939382 wrote:
           | I guess you missed the first two words of my comment.
        
             | [deleted]
        
           | tsol wrote:
           | It's not that crazy. Even economically, the people that are
           | gonna support us when we are old and senile are currently
           | being reared as part of families
        
           | grumple wrote:
           | It's easy to verify that married people make more money than
           | unmarried people: https://bigthink.com/smart-skills/married-
           | wage-gap/#:~:text=....
           | 
           | It's easily verified by data you can find in many studies,
           | and presumably the census itself. Of course it doesn't
           | technically prove causality - it could be that the type of
           | people who are successful just happen to be the same type of
           | people who get married. Or maybe they get married precisely
           | because they are successful - or unsuccessful people have a
           | harder time finding spouses.
        
             | abeyer wrote:
             | But that's totally orthogonal to the statistic under
             | discussion about people living near their blood-relations.
             | You can move across the world and still get married, or
             | live nearby and never.
        
           | rayiner wrote:
           | Given that virtually every human is raised in a family, I
           | think you're the one that needs to prove your outrageous
           | statement to the contrary.
        
         | p0pcult wrote:
         | I think we would be better if it was 3 of 10; Americans are too
         | clustered into tribes. Urban people would benefit from
         | understanding rural lifestyles and vice versa.
        
       | pcthrowaway wrote:
       | 11% have never travelled outside of the state where they were
       | born, so this doesn't actually surprise me that much.
        
       | fullshark wrote:
       | A lot of upperwardly mobile, ambitious people don't realize this,
       | or they generally understand it only in terms of chastising their
       | high school peers who stayed home. If you build a society based
       | on the assumption everyone will simply move and re-skill to the
       | regions with economic opportunity, you get a lot of regions of
       | bitter people who stayed behind somewhere and watched their local
       | economy get destroyed by trade deals and technological advances,
       | and that's how you get an anti-globalization populist political
       | movement.
        
         | parker_mountain wrote:
         | Part of it, as well, is that a lot of these regions that people
         | moved out of are the suburbs. Many suburbs are not sustainable,
         | and are degrading.
        
           | Yhippa wrote:
           | > Many suburbs are not sustainable, and are degrading.
           | 
           | Genuinely curious: what is the basis for that claim? Even if
           | you don't cite a source.
           | 
           | Edit: these responses are very insightful. Thank you all for
           | the responses.
        
             | mwest217 wrote:
             | Lots of resources on the subject from Strong Towns[1], Not
             | Just Bikes[2], and various consulting firms like Urban3[3]
             | 
             | [1] https://www.strongtowns.org/the-growth-ponzi-scheme [2]
             | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Nw6qyyrTeI [3]
             | https://www.urbanthree.com/
        
             | tomrod wrote:
             | Not the OP. It's a literal claim, not metaphorical.
             | 
             | Pipes break. Schools wear out. Roads wear out. Houses and
             | fencing wear out, etc.
             | 
             | Many cities don't budget in perpetuity and (further) can't
             | maintain existing infrastructure as a population bulge
             | dissipates or as young people move away.
        
             | akiselev wrote:
             | See the Strong Towns article "The Growth Ponzi Scheme" [1]
             | and the ASCE Infrastructure Report Card for more concrete
             | data [2].
             | 
             | The gist is that we've funded the construction of our
             | infrastructure nationwide without accounting for the cost
             | of maintenance. Now after decades of neglect, the cost of
             | fixing all of our infrastructure is astronomical, far worse
             | than if we had been doing it correctly from the beginning.
             | 
             | [1] https://www.strongtowns.org/the-growth-ponzi-scheme
             | 
             | [2] https://infrastructurereportcard.org/
        
               | beambot wrote:
               | And yet, the entire cost of FDRs New Deal was $1-Trillion
               | (2022 dollars) compared to $5-6 Trillion in COVID
               | stimulus...
        
               | 88913527 wrote:
               | If it is indeed that much cheaper to start from scratch,
               | we have the open land to do so. Housing prices might fall
               | in the areas that are chosen for divestment, but if we
               | can't afford it, it's unclear what other paths remain. I
               | largely believe in Strong Town's thesis, but we can't
               | make everything a 5+1 because there is too much
               | underdeveloped land use to justify that level of density
               | everywhere given the total population size. There
               | certainly are plenty of areas where's it's economical to
               | upzone, but in many areas it won't be.
        
               | ethanbond wrote:
               | What? We can't do 5+1 everywhere because first we need to
               | litter every last bit of countryside with failed
               | sprawling towns that were swallowed by their own
               | maintenance costs?
               | 
               | That doesn't seem workable.
        
               | 88913527 wrote:
               | You can't do 5+1 on the current total land area occupied
               | by low-density because you'd end up with far more housing
               | than 330 million or so people need. You add that level of
               | density to the core of small towns, then you have enough
               | for everyone. That leaves a long tail of abandoned
               | infrastructure in the areas that you're describing
               | (rural/exurbs not picked for 5+1 upzoning).
               | 
               | The suburbs take a huge amount of land. If everyone lived
               | in NYC-level of density, we could all fit in New Jersey.
               | If we all lived in middle-missing housing level density,
               | that amount of land is still far less than the total area
               | of all the suburbs.
        
               | ethanbond wrote:
               | Oh... it sounds like you're saying the proposal is to
               | _actually convert_ all existing developed land to 5+1. I
               | don 't think that's _anyone 's_ proposal?
               | 
               | Upzoning does not mean you automatically _get_ a building
               | at maximum allowed density, it means you increase what is
               | _allowed_ and let the market decide what makes sense
               | where. It would play out exactly as you describe.
        
               | zozbot234 wrote:
               | You just have to densify existing towns and smaller
               | cities, and go back to something more like the
               | traditional model of small-scale urbanization. Density is
               | _more_ efficient than suburban sprawl.
        
             | kbf wrote:
             | Density. North American suburbs built around cars spread
             | taxpayers thin over a large area that requires a lot of
             | expensive infrastructure. These places can't actually
             | afford the services they depend on and infrastructure debt
             | is usually paid off by new developments kind of like a
             | ponzi scheme.
        
             | karamanolev wrote:
             | Aside from the other replies, they are degrading in terms
             | of "living experience" - infrastructure, budgets, HOAs and
             | whatnot. The infrastructure is being subsidised by dense
             | cities, as there's simply too much street/pipe/wire per
             | capita to support. So you either get prohibitive taxes,
             | unsustainable budgets or subsidies from some level of
             | government. Either way, they're not heading in a good
             | direction.
        
             | duped wrote:
             | Not GP but locally there are a few exurbs that have serious
             | budget problems because they overbuilt infrastructure and
             | don't have the tax base to fully maintain it which creates
             | a feedback loop of poorly maintained roads, water systems,
             | parks, etc.
             | 
             | Some of it had to do with the murder of brick and mortar
             | retail in tightly packed downtowns in favor of the big box
             | stores on the edge of town. That creates an enormous waste
             | in municipal resources, doubly so if the store got
             | property/sales tax subsidies.
             | 
             | This is less of an issue in the denser near suburbs where
             | populations and revenues have been consistently rising the
             | last few years.
        
             | escalt wrote:
             | It is said that the infrastructure required to sustain
             | suburbs costs more money than these suburbs bring in. In
             | the US a city gets federal money to build new suburbs, but
             | when it comes to renewing them after a few decades, the
             | city has to pay on its own and it often has not enough
             | money to do it.
             | 
             | I am by no means an expert on this topic and just poorly
             | summarized the contents of this video:
             | https://youtube.com/watch?v=7IsMeKl-Sv0
        
               | parker_mountain wrote:
               | It's also affecting some cities, such as Chicago. Wacker
               | Drive is an example of this.
               | 
               | It turns out that core infrastructure should be built to
               | be inexpensive to maintain, and density helps greatly
               | with that goal.
        
             | ethanbond wrote:
             | At least American suburbs are ultra car-dependent meaning
             | you're not walking anywhere (literally _physically_
             | degrading to both you and the environment) and you do not
             | have chance social encounters at nearly the frequency of
             | any walking city (socially degrading).
             | 
             | This is not to say there aren't real benefits to life in
             | the burbs and serious disadvantages to city life, but it's
             | fairly evident by now that American suburbia is not the
             | utopian dream it was sold as.
        
               | Alupis wrote:
               | Perhaps for you city dweller's, but for the rest of us,
               | we really like our suburbs.
               | 
               | Not being able to walk everywhere is literally not even a
               | factor I look for when moving to a new area. I want
               | quiet, safety, cleanliness, privacy and affordability.
               | 
               | I have yet to see the metropolis that checks all of those
               | boxes, or any of them for the matter.
        
               | [deleted]
        
               | ethanbond wrote:
               | Pick any moderate sized city in Europe! There's no reason
               | Americans _have_ to choose between glass and concrete
               | imposing megastructures a la (parts of) NYC or sprawling
               | car-dependent and socially atomized burbs a la Houston
               | /Phoenix etc.
               | 
               | We can have moderately dense, highly walkable, transit-
               | connected, safe, clean, private, quiet, socially vibrant,
               | affordable towns and suburbs all over the country.
               | 
               | We just choose not to in large part because many
               | Americans, brainwashed by The Automobile, _can 't even
               | imagine_ such a state of affairs.
        
               | karamanolev wrote:
               | I see why you like the suburbs. But it's essentially a
               | hoax, it's like living above your means on a bunch of
               | credit cards - at least for most people (not all).
               | 
               | Affordability for a lot of suburbs is when you allow for
               | degrading infrastructure and moving more and more towards
               | bankruptcy of cities. Budget analysis for a lot of
               | suburbs show very troubling trends. In essence, living in
               | a properly maintained suburbia is not affordable. Too
               | much street, pipe and wire per capita.
               | 
               | Cleanliness - it's only in appearance. The dirtiness is
               | externalized to the environment by means of CO2 and other
               | emissions due to personal transport. A lot of concrete
               | and asphalt being poured require massive excavations and
               | destruction of nature elsewhere. More than cities.
               | 
               | Quiet is also externalized - cars are extremely noisy and
               | suburbia basically requires a lot of 4000 lbs metal hunks
               | with mostly a single person inside.
               | 
               | Privacy is there, but it costs quite a lot in total
               | societal costs.
        
               | the_gastropod wrote:
               | > I want quiet, safety, cleanliness, privacy and
               | affordability.
               | 
               | Most of these are pretty cliche. New York City is one of
               | the safest cities in the country per capita. But as with
               | "cleanliness" is usually trotted out in a dog whistly
               | kind of way that really is about something else. And
               | affordability: yep. You've got that for a couple reasons:
               | 1. People LIKE living in cities. Good old supply/demand.
               | 2. As this thread is discussing, suburbs are massively
               | subsidized to the detriment of the cities they neighbor.
        
               | seneca wrote:
               | > Most of these are pretty cliche. New York City is one
               | of the safest cities in the country per capita. But as
               | with "cleanliness" is usually trotted out in a dog
               | whistly kind of way that really is about something else.
               | 
               | Calling someone's preferences cliches and dog whistles is
               | a really lazy way to have a discussion and degrades this
               | forum.
        
               | abeyer wrote:
               | > New York City is one of the safest cities in the
               | country per capita. But as with "cleanliness" is usually
               | trotted out in a dog whistly kind of way
               | 
               | Having lived in other big cities that manage to collect
               | garbage in containers, NYC's continued practice of
               | dumping uncontained garbage on the sidewalk for
               | collection gives it a very real non-dog-whistly
               | feeling(/sight/odor) of dirtyness.
        
               | drivers99 wrote:
               | I just heard they were working on that. It looks like it
               | actually started in April. Clean Curbs Pilot Program
               | https://www1.nyc.gov/assets/dsny/site/our-
               | work/containerized...
        
         | 082349872349872 wrote:
         | It's funny how globalised the anti-globalisation populist
         | political movements may be. Yesterday's news included
         | "Reichsburger" getting busted in Deutschland for conspiring to
         | coup, and it was mentioned the suspects were also pretty QAnon-
         | aligned. However, Reichsburger are not indigenous, but are
         | derived from US "Sovereign Citizens", who result from an
         | amalgam of nuttery derived from XIX and XX conspiracies wishing
         | to stand athwart history yelling "stop!": from those who
         | thought the 14A is bogus to those who thought the 16A is bogus
         | to those who didn't care for the Civil Rights Act, etc. Anyway,
         | all these conspiracies apparently became more mainstream in the
         | 1970s US because of the many newly embittered people due to the
         | farming policies of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_Butz .
         | 
         | (incidentally, our farming policy here is diametrically opposed
         | to both "get big or get out" and "plant fencerow to fencerow",
         | and we still have major political centre parties, as well as
         | left and right wing parties. But that correlation may have no
         | relation to causation...)
        
           | pessimizer wrote:
           | This heavily underestimates the influence of Ezra Pound
           | through his disciple and biographer Eustace Mullins. Butz
           | certainly upped the economic pressure on rural people, but
           | the theory is regular old European conspiratorial
           | antisemitism as revived through Dreyfus, then post-WWI
           | central European "stabbed in the back" fantasies, and
           | interpreted by the fascist Europhile Pound.
           | 
           | If the US government hadn't just completed a program of left-
           | wing eradication in the early part of the 20c, the pressure
           | probably would have turned rural people towards the populism
           | that they had turned to throughout the 19c and very early
           | 20c; the kind of populism that culminated in the 4-term FDR
           | presidency and the New Deal.
           | 
           | "Populism" as you use it here (to refer to right-wing
           | antisemitic groups), was intentionally turned into a slur
           | that was used to attack the working-class left-wing:
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People's_Party_(United_States)
           | 
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eustace_Mullins
        
         | tsol wrote:
         | It's strange the level of distrust in the west over
         | institutions that the majority of the world find completely
         | uncontroversial. It takes a village to raise a child, and in a
         | world without villages families are the biggest support system
         | most people have. I have a feeling this is another instance of
         | the minority being louder than the majority.
        
         | kaitai wrote:
         | Two sets of assumptions, though:
         | 
         | * The "stay behind" terminology is both evocative and biased. I
         | didn't "stay behind". I moved away several times, thousands of
         | miles, and lived in other places that ambitious people live,
         | and then moved back to within 10 miles of where I grew up
         | because the quality of life is better here. I can afford more,
         | I have cultural amenities like world-class music and art, I'm
         | near family and old friends as well as new friends, and people
         | aren't all totally consumed by their work. The "upwardly mobile
         | ambitious" set can frankly get stultifyingly boring and
         | disconnected. I like having friends in construction, non-
         | profits, pet services, etc.
         | 
         | * Like many Americans who really do "stay behind", I contribute
         | to elder care in my family. A lot of people stay put because
         | they need to care for someone, and America does not make it
         | easy to get vulnerable or ill people services. This is part of
         | what contributes to what you call the "bitterness" -- lack of
         | support for child care, elder care, care for the mentally ill
         | or those struggling with addiction, and in many cases it's a
         | vicious circle: gotta stay in Podunkville to take care of
         | grandma and your cousin 'cause you can't afford to get grandma
         | other help and your cousin doesn't qualify for anything but SSI
         | so he can't afford to move either, but staying in Podunkville
         | you tank your own educational and job prospects, therefore
         | keeping you in Podunkville forever. Sometimes it seems you can
         | only truly be upwardly mobile if you can avoid caregiving
         | responsibilities.
        
         | nonameiguess wrote:
         | That honestly sounds like a lot of spurious causal assumptions.
         | The Rust Belt and coal mining regions didn't get economically
         | depressed _because_ people left. People left because of the
         | economic collapse. You seem to be saying if all those college
         | kids just moved back to Upstate New York, Pennsylvania, and
         | Ohio, the people there wouldn 't be mad about their economies
         | being destroyed? Because they still would have been destroyed.
        
         | the_optimist wrote:
         | There's a deeper level here. Conforming economic, security, n
         | judicial blocks to geography more strongly maps onto the
         | governance structure for the US. In other words, this is a
         | system that inherently creates and maintains divisions.
        
         | cossatot wrote:
         | While I partially agree with your assessment, it's worth noting
         | that much of the dynamic settlement of the US has been based on
         | commodity booms, which really can't be considered perpetual
         | parts of the economy. People had to leave their homes to go
         | clear the prairie, log virtually all of the US forest, mine the
         | West Virginia coal and then the Wyoming coal after that, etc.
         | Once those resources are used up, there is little left for
         | people to do, regardless of technological advances that require
         | fewer workers for the same output, much less trade deals (how
         | much wood and grain do we import?). The economies oriented
         | around renewable resources (Oregon timber for example) simply
         | can't sustain as many people because the environment can't
         | continually produce the output that it did during the initial
         | exploitation.
         | 
         | This of course affects the downstream, more industrial elements
         | concentrated in cities as well, which process the ore and
         | lumber and make engines and furniture.
        
         | Fauntleroy wrote:
         | I'm one of the "upwardly mobile" folks who moved out, and I'm a
         | bit shocked at all the comments here treating the headline like
         | it's a bad thing. Having a local and consistent community is an
         | essential part of a "good" city. I know that many of the places
         | we moved away from were... lacking, but simply abandoning
         | everything isn't going to help at all either.
        
           | eddsh1994 wrote:
           | I have moved quite a bit myself and honestly still miss
           | 'home'. Hopefully soon I'll stay somewhere for the rest of my
           | life, or a good chunk of it, so I can be 'home' again. My
           | wifes a researcher and we follow the academic positions so I
           | probably have another 3 or 4 locations to live in first (:
           | 
           | There are a lot of perks of having that stable community
           | feeling around you.
        
       | cpsns wrote:
       | I fall into this group in Canada and I wish I didn't at this
       | point.
        
       | insane_dreamer wrote:
       | Wow, I really did not expect it to be that high. I could
       | understand that number if it was "live in the state where they
       | grew up" (esp. if they went to college in-state which most do),
       | but within 10 miles? That's a pretty small radius. In many cities
       | you could move to the other side of town and be outside the 10
       | mile range.
        
       | cwmoore wrote:
       | ; the other four are outnumbered.
        
       | cassonmars wrote:
       | I moved away from my Midwest hometown in my early twenties, lived
       | in Seattle for nearly a decade, then got fed up with the path the
       | city was on and moved back. I feel like moving away is valuable,
       | and teaches you to appreciate the things you took for granted
       | living somewhere during your childhood. Now that I'm back, I get
       | to help fundamentally transform the city into a new tech hub,
       | reviving from the state of decay produced by an industry that
       | mostly abandoned it. This has been extremely fulfilling in a way
       | that living in an already established big city cannot -- the
       | skyline is yours to help manifest.
        
       | thepangolino wrote:
       | That's a pretty common statistics all around the world. People
       | connect to their the place they grew up in and people they grew
       | up with.
        
         | mikrl wrote:
         | In my experience, moving is related to aspiration. If I stayed
         | where I grew up I'd honestly likely be an opioid statistic and
         | definitely not doing anything worthwhile with my life. I still
         | keep in touch with a few people from youth who didn't ruin
         | their lives, and I'm the standout success story despite being
         | the socially awkward and poor one.
         | 
         | Moving thousands of miles has changed my life in ways I'd never
         | dream of, staying still was not on the cards: it would have
         | been lethal. I had to upend to get the education I needed, find
         | my person and the tech job I love.
        
           | Gigachad wrote:
           | So moving was more related to the starting location being
           | bad. If you already grew up in a good area then you'd want to
           | stay.
        
             | dendrite9 wrote:
             | I consider myself lucky that my parents looked around and
             | chose a place with many positive attributes, and they were
             | able to make a living there. I haven't felt a big need to
             | move from here, though I lived away during college.
             | 
             | Of course if I had a bad relationship with my family, or
             | had wildly different interests/beliefs I would likely want
             | to move away.
        
           | tricksforfree wrote:
           | Imagine if you and similar, "driven" folk stayed and made
           | where you're from better.
           | 
           | Imagine if you started small businesses and hired/trained the
           | locals.
           | 
           | Maybe everyone left behind wouldn't have to work at a big box
           | store or just die to reduce the societal burden.
           | 
           | Edit: Not blaming, just food for thought.
        
             | avgDev wrote:
             | I grew up in a small city in Poland.
             | 
             | If my parents have not moved to the US. I would've not had
             | good access to a computer as we were relatively poor on the
             | global scale. The stars aligned and I attended a university
             | in the US, where I met influential people who later offered
             | me a job.
             | 
             | I am now in a place where my income allows me to think
             | about paying back.
             | 
             | I am definitely sure I would not have the common sense, the
             | business sense, understanding of self, and the capitol to
             | do anything of value if I have stayed.
        
             | scottLobster wrote:
             | Imagine if the Saudis grew wheat in the desert! Oh wait
             | they tried that and even with all the capital in the world
             | it wasn't competitive, because it turns out the desert is a
             | horrible environment for growing wheat.
             | 
             | The less fortunate places of today weren't built for no
             | reason, back when they were new there was money to be made
             | to support them. Then economics shifted and there's less
             | money that can be made in that location, so
             | people/businesses move away. Expecting capable people to
             | intentionally stunt their achievements to try and do the
             | equivalent of growing wheat in the desert is just
             | mythologizing places that once served an important economic
             | purpose but no longer do. This notion that you'll never
             | need to adapt to changing circumstances, that there's some
             | sort of societal guarantee of growing old in the same
             | community you grew up in, is incredibly entitled and
             | fundamentally anti-American.
             | 
             | What we need is federally funded moving expenses for lower
             | income earners, that way no one's stuck in a modern-day
             | ghost town.
        
             | cpsns wrote:
             | > stayed and made where you're from better.
             | 
             | In my experience this is a recipe for burnout, depression,
             | social ostracization, and the like. Some places are not
             | fixable, many are actively hostile to the idea of change.
             | 
             | A lot of these places were abandoned for a reason, not just
             | because people felt like it one day.
        
             | emodendroket wrote:
             | A little fantastical to imagine well-meaning people with
             | zero experience of work are going to fix places that nobody
             | else managed to but hope springs eternal, I guess.
        
             | kitsunesoba wrote:
             | > Imagine if you and similar, "driven" folk stayed and made
             | where you're from better.
             | 
             | > Imagine if you started small businesses and hired/trained
             | the locals.
             | 
             | If I had stayed in my hometown I wouldn't have had the
             | resources to even think about doing those things. The town
             | is in the poor half of a county in a poor state. The best
             | most can hope for out there are part time jobs at grocery
             | stores and fast food restaurants, both paying almost
             | nothing.
             | 
             | I probably could've gotten hired on as a county public
             | school tech which pays decently for the area, but it still
             | would've taken decades to bootstrap the kind of resources
             | required to start a business, because I'd be starting out
             | with almost nothing.
        
             | SketchySeaBeast wrote:
             | I'm wondering how a glut of uneducated young adults all
             | trying to start businesses is going to help anything.
        
             | lukas099 wrote:
             | All else equal I would love to live by all my family and
             | friends, but the fact is that my skills are not as useful
             | there as they are where I live now, so I wouldn't be able
             | to provide as much value to the world if I still lived
             | there.
        
             | nemo44x wrote:
             | I'm not sure you realize how hopeless large swaths of the
             | country are. There's simply no coming back in many cases.
             | They just need to slowly die out over a few generations and
             | be given back to nature.
        
             | 082349872349872 wrote:
             | Trying to jump-start a modern economy in a place that isn't
             | currently participating in one is difficult, like
             | attempting a breakaway in bike racing. It's a worthy public
             | project, but a risky private one.
        
           | ElevenLathe wrote:
           | It depends where you're from. IMO it is generally good and
           | positive for families to stay in the same area for
           | generations, since it allows for stronger ties among the
           | community, leading to generally less fragile lives. But
           | you're right that those same ties can hold you down in the
           | right (wrong) circumstances.
           | 
           | ...which I guess is just a long-winded way of saying that you
           | should stay near home if it's good, and stay away if it's bad
           | (for whatever values of good and bad).
        
             | emodendroket wrote:
             | I feel like those strong ties are more likely to be fetters
             | than supports but who am I to tell other people what
             | they're feeling, I suppose.
        
               | ElevenLathe wrote:
               | I used to feel this way but have since realized that it
               | is a WEIRD (western, educated, industrialized,
               | democratic) perspective. For the majority of human
               | history, we _needed_ our birth community in a very direct
               | way simply to eat, keep ourselves housed, find a mate,
               | etc. Many of those needs can now be taken care of by the
               | market but IMO it pays to be careful about committing
               | completely to such a course.
        
               | emodendroket wrote:
               | Sure, I don't imagine I can somehow totally divorce my
               | own thinking from the culture I live in or my education.
               | That doesn't mean it is necessarily wrong (the germ
               | theory of disease is also WEIRD, or was at one point). I
               | think it is telling that most people in the modern world
               | who continue to live this way do not have the resources
               | to do otherwise.
        
           | knaik94 wrote:
           | I am glad you were able to have such a positive impact on the
           | trajectory of your life by moving. But you shouldn't
           | generalize your experiences with your home town with everyone
           | else's. Sometimes moving is necessary for growth, but it
           | could also be completely orthogonal. It depends on the place
           | and also the person.
           | 
           | I grew up 30 minutes from a respected state college, about 15
           | miles, and about an hour away from both Philly and NYC,
           | almost exactly 50 miles to each. The ongoing joke in my high
           | school is at least 50% of each graduating classes ended up at
           | the same state college. I'm not sure the real statistic, but
           | I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
           | 
           | 10 miles sounds far enough away from parents to be able to
           | feel independent but also not far away enough to feel any
           | kind of culture shock. Not everyone will have this privilege,
           | but I just want to share another perspective.
        
             | emodendroket wrote:
             | Not ever feeling any kind of culture shock is itself
             | limiting.
        
               | knaik94 wrote:
               | There is a lot of value in learning about different
               | cultures by physically travelling, but I think there are
               | other options now. I believe the hyper-globalization of
               | society due to technology allows many more people to
               | experience other cultures without needing to travel. It's
               | up to individuals to take advantage of it and lean into
               | certain discomforts.
               | 
               | I don't believe it's possible to integrate with modern
               | society successfully without having to go through some
               | kind of culture shock. It's not limited to culture
               | defined by regions, older generations feel culture shock
               | constantly when trying to stay integrated or understand
               | the culture of new generations. But things like YouTube
               | have allowed me to experience culture in a way that
               | wasn't possible 20+ years ago.
               | 
               | I have been loving the relatively recent trend of older
               | people, parents and grandparents making cooking videos. I
               | recently found De mi Rancho a Tu Cocina, a channel where
               | Dona Angela, a 72 year old grandma teaches Mexican
               | recipes. The channel has 4.2 million subscribers and the
               | first video was uploaded in August 2019 and hit 2M
               | subscribers by December 2019. Very simple production
               | value, except the wood fire cooking which is probably out
               | of necessity as she lives on a ranch. A similar channel
               | with more production value, but still very homey is
               | Cowboy Kent Rollins, 2.32M subs, who is verified on
               | YouTube and has built a brand and a merch shop related to
               | outdoor cooking. I grew up in the suburbs in the tristate
               | area, but love making myself traditional style Mexican
               | and TexMex food, homemade refried beans is a favorite.
               | 
               | https://www.youtube.com/@DemiRanchoaTuCocina
               | 
               | Best Authentic Refried Bean Recipe - Cowboy Kent Rollins
               | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC5mR5s70bE
        
               | emodendroket wrote:
               | I don't think YouTube videos or even a two-week trip are
               | substitutes for living somewhere different. Too many
               | small things you can't notice at that level of
               | engagement.
        
               | ckosidows wrote:
               | This is a privileged opinion, no? Not everyone has the
               | resources or means to leave the place they live.
        
               | mikrl wrote:
               | Not everyone has the resources or means to stay where
               | they are. The Great Recession flung people far and wide.
               | 
               | I am not disagreeing with you though, just two sides of
               | the issue re resources.
        
               | emodendroket wrote:
               | Ok so that's another way poverty harms them. Is it less
               | "privileged" to pretend that is not the case and someone
               | who has no ability to leave their hometown has no
               | disadvantage?
        
           | HDThoreaun wrote:
           | 70% of americans live in urban centers where this isn't
           | really true.
        
             | ghaff wrote:
             | Most Americans live in what the US Census categorizes as
             | urban. Which is a very broad definition of basically
             | communities somewhat in the orbit of an urban area.
        
           | alistairSH wrote:
           | _In my experience, moving is related to aspiration._
           | 
           | Highly dependent on where you grew up.
           | 
           | My parents grew up in a farming town in Scotland. Moving out
           | was the best way to solid careers.
           | 
           | I grew up in DC. I stayed because when I finished college,
           | there were ample jobs here and that hasn't changed. Sometimes
           | I wish I had moved, but at the same time, when I look
           | elsewhere, the grass isn't any greener.
        
           | selectodude wrote:
           | >In my experience, moving is related to aspiration.
           | 
           | And where you grew up. I grew up somewhere that aspirants
           | move to. So I never left because why would I bother? As the
           | US becomes more urbanized, people are going to have less of a
           | reason to move to places with more opportunity because
           | they're already in places that have opportunity.
        
             | quartesixte wrote:
             | Growing up where the aspirants move to is such an odd place
             | to be in certain social circles. Simultaneous jealousy and
             | judgement.
             | 
             | But yeah. As an LA native, I don't have much reason to
             | leave. But it's not like I'm some kind of sheltered, naive
             | farmboy.
        
               | mikrl wrote:
               | > But yeah. As an LA native, I don't have much reason to
               | leave.
               | 
               | Are houses cheap in LA? Aren't a bunch of people leaving
               | California for cheaper property inland?
        
           | trgn wrote:
           | But most people actually live in the big metros. If you grew
           | up in LA, Chicago, Atlanta, ... area, why would you really
           | need to move? Unless you have a highly specific skillset,
           | most people can have a fine career locally. High mobility can
           | be a sign of weak local job markets, this is the dominant
           | view. You can also take an optimistic view; low mobility is a
           | sign of sustained local wealth accumulation and strong local
           | job markets.
        
           | civopsec wrote:
           | One of the more baffling anecdotes I've read in a while. The
           | response to a very general comment about where most people
           | end up is "opioid statistics" and then just the usual
           | bravado. The response to such a malappropriate reply is so
           | obvious (for most of 60% of young adults this opioid thing is
           | not what they are signing themselves up for, so where is the
           | relevance?) that it feels tedious to state it as a question.
        
             | mikrl wrote:
             | I'll take baffling as a compliment.
             | 
             | The opioid thing is relevant because lots of people I grew
             | up with in my home city fucked up their lives, and I'd have
             | done the same had I stayed because social networks, living
             | in poverty, decay and hopelessness etc.
             | 
             | Leaving broke me out of that and gave me access to better
             | social capital which was (perhaps an exaggeration) a
             | difference between life and death.
             | 
             | YMMV but if you've grown up in a decaying urban area, you
             | know what I'm talking about.
        
       | dibt wrote:
       | This is is an important detail missing from the title:
       | 
       | "Childhood locations are measured at age 16 and locations in
       | young adulthood are measured at age 26."
       | 
       | "By linking young adults to their parents, we can see that this
       | migration is primarily driven by individuals who grew up in
       | affluent families."
       | 
       | It's not all young adults, just a specific demographic we would
       | expect to move away farther from home.
       | 
       | Many people in this thread are using this to confirm their bias
       | that it says something about the young adults. The title is doing
       | more harm than good.
        
       | kitsunesoba wrote:
       | I would say that I owe my career to _not_ staying in my home town
       | or even my home state. The state has plenty of charms but
       | opportunity is generally speaking not among them. Those of my
       | graduating high school class who I 've followed since also moved
       | out of state. Looking at the data from this tool it seems we were
       | outliers, though.
       | 
       | With remote work being more common now I could probably move
       | back, but that would carry some amount of risk as long as I'm
       | working for another company rather than running a business of my
       | own. Where I live now has a decent balance between locally
       | available jobs and cost of living which is a bit scary to give
       | up.
        
       | perardi wrote:
       | We have become an increasingly urbanized country. Lots and lots
       | of people in massive metro areas--think of the hypersprawl around
       | Chicago, Atlanta, Houston, LA...
       | 
       | Living 10 miles away from where you grew up around Chicago can
       | put you in a total different socioeconomic level of suburb.
        
         | hnuser847 wrote:
         | Yep, I live in Chicago and I'm about 10 miles from my parents'
         | house, as the crow flies. I have at various times in my life
         | regretted not moving around and living in different cities, but
         | I didn't feel the urgency to move a thousand miles away from
         | home since I grew up next to one of the largest cities in the
         | US. I imagine that if I had grown up in a small town, like my
         | wife, moving far away from home would have been the only
         | option.
        
           | rhino369 wrote:
           | I left Chicagoland and wish I could go back.
        
             | granshaw wrote:
             | Chicagos great so long as you don't live on the ground
             | floor and don't have to shovel snow :)
        
           | SoftTalker wrote:
           | I grew up in a small town. Lived in and around Chicago for
           | about 10 years as a young adult. Didn't ever like it enough
           | to think that I wanted to put down roots there. Moved back to
           | my hometown and still live there.
        
           | rowanajmarshall wrote:
           | That's what it was for me. I grew up in a tiny farming town;
           | if I wanted a job other than farmhand, retail, or local
           | government, moving was the only option. And I did, 3 days
           | after graduating.
        
         | samgranieri wrote:
         | As someone who has lived in Chicago and the Chicago suburbs,
         | this is completely true
        
       | TedShiller wrote:
       | Nothing wrong with that, I wish I did too
        
       | theonemind wrote:
       | It's really too bad that people have to move around for economic
       | and other opportunity. It kind of speaks to the damaged modern
       | psyche with illnesses like schizophrenia virtually absent in the
       | ancient world that anyone would regard not dispersing from their
       | home area as a bad thing. Like, we all just aspire to the
       | condition of the multi-national economic elite, paying allegiance
       | to no country or place, making an abode of bouncing around a few
       | world cities.
       | 
       | Like, maybe we just shouldn't have crappy places that people need
       | to flee, by putting roots in the community and making it a place
       | to be.
        
         | dibt wrote:
         | > It's really too bad that people have to move around for
         | economic and other opportunity.
         | 
         | The article doesn't support your bias. It's mostly those from
         | affluent families that move farther from home, not people
         | looking for work.
         | 
         | "By linking young adults to their parents, we can see that this
         | migration is primarily driven by individuals who grew up in
         | affluent families."
        
       | aftbit wrote:
       | I moved away from home but I moved back as well. I now live
       | within 10 miles of where I grew up, but I spent 7 years in the sf
       | bay area, 2000 miles away.
        
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