[HN Gopher] If you unscrew your belly button, your bottom will f...
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If you unscrew your belly button, your bottom will fall off
Author : ecornflak
Score : 328 points
Date : 2022-12-05 11:00 UTC (12 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (mrjamesbell.com)
(TXT) w3m dump (mrjamesbell.com)
| codazoda wrote:
| Nice read. I really like the idea of writing lessons learned from
| a person when they pass.
| vinay_ys wrote:
| Nice writing. Made me feel warm remembering a few people with
| similar persona from my childhood days. I feel there were a lot
| of people with similar persona in my dad's generation. Ubiquitous
| connectivity via Mobile/Internet and how much our cities/towns
| have changed makes it difficult for this persona to exist today.
| JustSomeNobody wrote:
| No... It is: If you unbutton your belly button, your legs will
| fall off.
|
| :)
| jasebell wrote:
| First place I heard that question was on a Jasper Carrott concert
| from the late 70s. :)
| xanathar wrote:
| I hope my dad is partying with yours in the ahem great-
| ISO-9000-in-the-sky. They would enjoy each other's company. And I
| would enjoy his, would give anything for 10. more. minutes.
| jawadch93 wrote:
| mcphage wrote:
| This was just lovely :-)
| camkego wrote:
| Beautiful.
| RcouF1uZ4gsC wrote:
| > Maureen must have been skeptical, but Mum immediately backed up
| Dad's story.
|
| The author's mom also sounds pretty cool.
|
| Having a significant other who is on the same wavelength as you
| as who is your partner even in silly stuff is one of the
| underrated blessings in life.
| [deleted]
| timonoko wrote:
| I used pincers and fished out _massive_ piece of navel lint the
| other day. It was quite solid. And there was white strands
| growing from it, somekind of mildew.
|
| I was aware of danger of scratching yores navel, so I doused the
| area with Alcool and Betadine.
| wkjagt wrote:
| When my first kid was born, I planned to start preserving my
| navel fur to be able to knit him a sweater for his 18th
| birthday. I regret that I never got around to that. He's 15 now
| and I don't think 3 years will yield enough for a sweater.
| Socks, maybe, but I'd always see those as a symbol of my lack
| of perseverance.
| somedude895 wrote:
| No way! I've been collecting it for three years now, planning
| to create felt plushies with it brand name is Nabelfilz.
| Sadly during the pandemic the harvest was bad, since
| production requires fabric and friction and I wasn't wearing
| shirts or walking much.
| robin_reala wrote:
| Omphalolith? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omphalolith
| thieving_magpie wrote:
| My grandfather told me a version of this story and I have been
| lucky to tell my kids (who loved it).
|
| Our version:
|
| There was once a boy that was born with a golden screw where his
| belly button should be. This made him very self-conscious about
| it. The kids at school would tease him about his golden screw and
| lack of belly button. It was so bad that he didn't want to remove
| his shirt when swimming.
|
| One day his class took a field trip to the beach. The boy didn't
| want to remove his shirt, so he walked along the beach kicking
| the sand. He was very sad. Suddenly, his foot hurt from kicking
| something hard in the sand. He looked down and discovered a
| golden screwdriver.
|
| His eyes brightened and he felt this must be some divine
| intervention. He immediately removed his shirt, grabbed the
| golden screwdriver and began to carefully unscrew the golden
| screw. This was the moment. He unscrewed it and finally this
| golden screw that had cursed him his whole life came out
| <dramatic pause> then his butt fell off.
|
| <cue 6 year old laughing>
| poizan42 wrote:
| A variant of this version is in The Wise Man's Fear by Patrick
| Rothfuss:
|
| > "Once upon a time," I began. "There was a little boy born in
| a little town. He was perfect, or so his mother thought. But
| one thing was different about him. He had a gold screw in his
| belly button. Just the head of it peeping out.
|
| > "Now his mother was simply glad he had all his fingers and
| toes to count with. But as the boy grew up he realized not
| everyone had screws in their belly buttons, let alone gold
| ones. He asked his mother what it was for, but she didn't know.
| Next he asked his father, but his father didn't know. He asked
| his grandparents, but they didn't know either.
|
| > "That settled it for a while, but it kept nagging him.
| Finally, when he was old enough, he packed a bag and set out,
| hoping he could find someone who knew the truth of it.
|
| > "He went from place to place, asking everyone who claimed to
| know something about anything. He asked midwives and
| physickers, but they couldn't make heads or tails of it. The
| boy asked arcanists, tinkers, and old hermits living in the
| woods, but no one had ever seen anything like it.
|
| > "He went to ask the Cealdim merchants, thinking if anyone
| would know about gold, it would be them. But the Cealdim
| merchants didn't know. He went to the arcanists at the
| University, thinking if anyone would know about screws and
| their workings, they would. But the arcanists didn't know. The
| boy followed the road over the Stormwal to ask the witch women
| of the Tahl, but none of them could give him an answer.
|
| > "Eventually he went to the King of Vint, the richest king in
| the world. But the king didn't know. He went to the Emperor of
| Atur, but even with all his power, the emperor didn't know. He
| went to each of the small kingdoms, one by one, but no one
| could tell him anything.
|
| > "Finally the boy went to the High King of Modeg, the wisest
| of all the kings in the world. The high king looked closely at
| the head of the golden screw peeping from the boy's belly
| button. Then the high king made a gesture, and his seneschal
| brought out a pillow of golden silk. On that pillow was a
| golden box. The high king took a golden key from around his
| neck, opened the box, and inside was a golden screwdriver.
|
| > "The high king took the screwdriver and motioned the boy to
| come closer. Trembling with excitement, the boy did. Then the
| high king took the golden screwdriver and put it in the boy's
| belly button."
|
| > I paused to take a long drink of water. I could feel my small
| audience leaning toward me. "Then the
|
| > high king carefully turned the golden screw. Once: Nothing.
| Twice: Nothing. Then he turned it the third time, and the boy's
| ass fell off."
|
| > There was a moment of stunned silence.
|
| > "What?" Hespe asked incredulously.
|
| > "His ass fell off."
| cloudmike wrote:
| Seeing a masterful Rothfuss excerpt right next to its lesser,
| AI-generated counterpart (in a sibling comment) gives me
| pause, today.
| TedDoesntTalk wrote:
| Can't wait to use this!!
| [deleted]
| bmcahren wrote:
| ChatGPT is the best:
|
| Once upon a time, there was a young man named Jack who had a
| golden screw in place of his belly button. Jack was very self-
| conscious about this unique feature, but he soon discovered
| that it had some incredible powers.
|
| One day, Jack was walking through the forest when he came
| across a beautiful fairy. The fairy was in distress and begged
| Jack to help her. She explained that she was being held captive
| by a wicked witch and needed someone to rescue her.
|
| Without hesitation, Jack agreed to help the fairy and set off
| on an adventure to defeat the witch. Along the way, he
| encountered many challenges, including fierce beasts and
| treacherous obstacles.
|
| But with the help of his golden screw, Jack was able to
| overcome each challenge and finally reached the witch's castle.
| He battled the witch, using his golden screw to conjure up
| powerful spells and defeat her.
|
| The fairy was grateful to Jack and rewarded him with a magical
| amulet that granted him the ability to fly. With this new
| power, Jack flew back home, feeling proud of his bravery and
| accomplishment.
|
| Years later, Jack discovered that the golden screw could do
| even more than he had initially thought. He realized that he
| could use it to shape-shift into any form he desired.
|
| Excited by this new discovery, Jack began experimenting with
| his newfound ability. He turned into a bird, a fish, and even a
| dragon. But one day, he accidentally turned into a duck and
| couldn't change back.
|
| Feeling frustrated and embarrassed, Jack decided to give up his
| powers and return to his human form. He unscrewed the golden
| screw and, to his horror, his butt fell off.
| m463 wrote:
| lol, I'm sure you could shaggy-dog any joke this way.
|
| I remember the Leisure Suit Larry punchlines, and wonder if
| you could reverse engineer jokes from the punchline, or make
| up punchlines and see if there's a joke to be made.
|
| "...and there stood the pig and the cow!"
| the_sleaze9 wrote:
| The story doesn't matter, it's the <cue 6 year old laughter>
| that makes it good.
| onepointsixC wrote:
| I'm most certainly going to steal this.
| [deleted]
| trifit wrote:
| This got me in the feels regarding my father, who's bbeen my rock
| through and through.
| dehrmann wrote:
| > the great ISO9000 audit conference in the sky
|
| Not exactly my idea of heaven.
| b1c837696ba28b wrote:
| "When you turn 12 you will have to get your belly button re-
| tied."
| eastbound wrote:
| > This, along with the "lying still game" and many other "games"
| ensured hours of peace and quiet for adults trying to
|
| It's funny how fathering is about using a thousand tricks to make
| kids go through life even when they don't want. And another part
| is politeness rules teach kids to be convenient for the parents,
| for example "don't play with food, there's kids in Africa" was
| never about African kids and more about cleaning up the floor.
|
| Whenever I cried, my father would say "Don't put your mouth in
| W". How can you not laugh at that. We'll it doesn't teach to
| negotiate, I don't remember my parents bending for anything,
| they'd use gimmicks to get out of the situation. If it's not good
| to let kids get spoilt, bending from time to time teaches them
| how to use a little seduction to ask for things.
|
| I also remember my father coming back from a disabled-school
| visit, and he'd tell me that a kid taught him in sign language "I
| - love - working", and that's the most beautiful thing he had
| ever heard. Or seen.
|
| So that's it, I don't know how to complain properly, don't know
| how to seduce, and I work all the time. I became deadweight for
| my parents at 40, since I'm single, millionaire and incel, but at
| least they had nothing to worry concerning impregnating women,
| doing drugs or not working enough.
| guntherhermann wrote:
| > I don't know how to complain properly
|
| Oh I don't know, I think you're doing a fine job of it.
|
| All of those things you complain about not being able to do,
| you know that you can't do them.
|
| If you know you can't do them, and want to do them, then you
| can learn how.
|
| Alternatively, you can lay your issues at your parents feet and
| mope about how hard your life is as a millionaire.
| wruza wrote:
| _If you know you can 't do them, and want to do them, then
| you can learn how._
|
| Some people learn how and just do it.
|
| Other people learn how and just do it.
|
| You can't see a difference until you get in these "other"
| shoes and realize how much unreasonable, irrational,
| disorienting discomfort they give. But minds aren't shoes so
| you can't just try on that.
| guntherhermann wrote:
| Assuming they are otherwise physically and mentally
| capable, they can do it if they want to do it.
|
| The hardest thing about life is not knowing.
|
| Once you know that you don't know something, then you can
| try to know it.
|
| I am talking as someone who spent a significant amount of
| my life thinking that I had to live and was consigned to
| living in one particular way, because I didn't know any
| other choice was open to me.
| wruza wrote:
| Right, but the assumption in this argument is too
| narrowing. When people get anxious of e.g. complaining,
| it's their mental inability, not just lack of a proper
| method. People get anxious and procrastinative (which may
| be a result of unnoticed anxiety) a lot. It's not
| something affecting only around 1%.
| TheCapn wrote:
| Ignoring the moping millionaire part he's got some truth to
| what he's saying. I'm confronting this now as a new parent
| while thinking about how I want to raise my son vs. how I was
| raised by my father.
|
| OPs point to all the distracting tricks rings true for me.
| Very much a "my way or the highway" household I grew up in,
| and although I don't feel there was major _harm_ from the
| upbringing, I can see where the gaps in my development
| originated. Like OP, I don 't do confrontation well. I don't
| have a healthy grasp of expressing desire or wants. I find it
| difficult to have healthy debate with others. It's mostly a
| habit of avoiding the conversation because I was taught
| during childhood/teens that things will be done like _this_
| so there 's no point in arguing.
|
| It isn't so simple as that overall though, but I do heavily
| look at the type of upbringing I was given and how it
| contributes overall. I want to do better for my son, and
| avoiding the easy "tricks" to get kids to quiet down and
| behave (be less like kids) is something I'm aiming to avoid.
| ska wrote:
| > I want to raise my son vs. how I was raised by my father.
|
| What many (most?) people do is overcompensate to not make
| the same obvious errors their parents made, and thereby
| make a different series of errors.
| guntherhermann wrote:
| Oh, I completely get it. I think those of us who are new
| parents are of a particular generation.
|
| I was brought up with "Stop crying or I'll give you
| something to cry about", my parents would get angry that I
| didn't know how to do something (well you're the teacher,
| how is it my fault you didn't teach me!), and shouting. A
| lot of shouting.
|
| It has definitely affected me, even now if my wife shouts
| me from downstairs get that feeling of being a child again,
| waiting to be smacked for something I've supposedly done
| wrong. I think it will always be there.
|
| However, my parents had it much worse than me. They were
| born into poverty and their parents were dysfunctional,
| raging alcoholics who didn't provide for them. As a child
| my dad had to break into abandoned warehouses to pull up
| floorboards to use as firewood, because HIS dad was too
| busy pissing away his money in the pub and on gambling.
|
| That they managed to come out and raise kids in a more
| loving environment than the one they grew up in is a
| testament to them.
|
| I think most of us want our children to have a better life
| than the one we had. People are human, people make
| mistakes.
|
| I forgive my parents for the mistakes they made, because I
| know that even for the things they made me do that I still
| detest and think they are wrong for making me do, they did
| it for the right reasons, they still loved me. And I love
| them
| eastbound wrote:
| >> I don't know how to complain properly
|
| > Oh I don't know, I think you're doing a fine job of it.
|
| :D If I knew, I would address the issues with the right
| person and solve them.
|
| So I ended up speaking to computers instead. The rest is so
| dark that I shouldn't tell it online, but honestly, you
| should stop being hateful towards anybody. Any human. Anyone.
| Don't do that. Hard no. You are creating hate when you hate
| people. And man millionaires can be as violent as any other
| man, as uncaring, as ... We're no special race. Wasn't born
| with a silver spoon either, I was making the point that it
| was hard work and no life balance that led me here, not
| privilege or inheritance, just good sustained work, moving
| until it worked, and lacking social attachment. So I'm gonna
| go back to my computer and try forgetting about how people
| like you intentionally ruined my life.
|
| Don't.
| centilliard wrote:
| Imagine you're a function whose implementation body is written
| over time by you (the conscience). Your function is invoked
| once at your birth and seizes to execute when you die.
|
| * You don't control what arguments are passed to your function
|
| * But you do have complete control over the implementation
|
| It's OK to verify your arguments, but then, once you realized
| you've been given less-than-ideal values, you don't have to
| continue processing them. Stop writing code that depends on
| these inputs and write your own implementation as if those
| arguments never existed. You're not the product of your input
| values, they're just there and it's your decision whether to
| use them or not.
|
| Also, how are you dead weight if you're a millionaire? This
| would mean your parents are carrying you. Buy a house and GTFO
| then. Visit your parents once in a while. Call your mom.
| fritztastic wrote:
| I can't speak to everyone's experience or abilities, but I can
| say that one of the hardest things about overcoming abuse is
| identifying what reality is and distinguishing the difference
| between what is true about who/what you are and something you
| are gping through as a result of the experiences you had.
|
| Between the inflexible authoritarian way my parents were, and
| the coping mechanisms I used to make it through the years I
| lived with them, it was a many-years-long journey later on in
| my adult life (and still ongoing) to work back through the
| layers and shift the foundations from where they were
| involuntarily built to where I wanted them to be.
|
| I have a particular grief, for the time in my life I could have
| been more like who I may have been had it not been for abuse
| and trauma. The years of lost experiences and mistakes that may
| have been much less arduous had it not been for the coping
| mechanisms I adopted for survival. When you say you don't know
| how to complain- I think it may be more accurate that you may
| have trouble with communicating with/relating to other people,
| or you can't find the proper way to articulate how big of an
| impact or determine at what point something is really part of
| you or a mindspace you find yourself in.
|
| I spent a long time trying to deal with it on my own, but where
| I really started to make traction was talking to a professional
| and actually being honest, painfully so when it came to my
| dysfunctional way of dealing with intimacy. After some years I
| was able to begin admitting where I was the source of my own
| anguish and forgiving myself but also taking accountability of
| putting in the work to change what I could so I could live life
| more functionally and really be able to experience things
| without that weight I hadn't realized I had been carrying all
| along. To an extent I had become attached to it and it became
| an extension of me, a part of my identity.
|
| My family in general was (in some ways still is) incredibly
| problematic, and I've come to realize a lot of the problems
| started with a desire to be validated and/or accepted by the
| parental figures. Not saying this is the case for everyone, but
| it is possible to forgive people (and still love them, if you
| wish) who caused a lot of harm, and work to heal. You deserved
| better, and future you can find what you yearn- it's not an
| easy road working through all that but there is hope to be
| found in the process which may not have felt feasible
| otherwise.
| bfoks wrote:
| Can you share which therapetic techniques were most benficial
| for you? EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, something else?
| ambicapter wrote:
| Well this comment took a turn in the last few minutes.
| homonculus1 wrote:
| How slow do you read??
| class4behavior wrote:
| >And another part is politeness rules teach kids to be
| convenient for the parents, for example "don't play with food,
| there's kids in Africa" was never about African kids and more
| about cleaning up the floor.
|
| Seriously? You don't see the problem in nurturing the
| (subconscious) view of African standing for the malnourished,
| poor, disadvatage, and so on?
| salawat wrote:
| You don't see the utility of pointing out that being in a
| position to "play with food" is not a given, paired with a
| real life counterexample?
|
| Stop seeing racism in everything. If you keep holding ypur
| mind like that, it'll freeze that way.
| class4behavior wrote:
| The need to educate a person not to waste food or about
| one's privileged life has absolutely no dependence on your
| example, nor is the latter inherently about racism, unless
| that is your actual motivation, or a real life
| counterexample. You just pointed to a convolution of
| stereotypes about a continent, which is quite the irony
| when you wish to teach about privilege.
|
| And your lame counter-accusation is basically a common
| rebuke of your average actual racist.
| eastbound wrote:
| More over, the original "don't waste your food" trope
| hides hypocrisy, because those parents don't necessarily
| care about African children. They care about cleaning up.
| Some actually care about Africa, but it's disjoint from
| keeping kids clean.
| [deleted]
| wruza wrote:
| Man this resonates. My parents (who were grandparents) were 1)
| industrial electronics hard worker type, 2) stay away don't
| speak too much something might happen what can you do type.
| Guess whom they raised.
| 5tefan wrote:
| Loved reading it. Fantastic piece. That writing got very close to
| me, watery eyes and so and I also read it from my perspective of
| being a dad of a small child right now.
| denton-scratch wrote:
| > the ancient Lancastrian martial art of Ecky Thump
|
| I thought Ecky Thoomp was from Yorkshire (via the Goodies).
| voidmain0001 wrote:
| And I thought it was a White Stripes song/album title.
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icky_Thump_(song)
| ecornflak wrote:
| My father was originally from Manchester and there is a good
| chance he borrowed heavily.
| mc_woods wrote:
| That's civil war talk right there... :)
| once_inc wrote:
| As time progresses my respect, love, and admiration for my
| parents increases. They didn't do a perfect job, but they did it
| perfectly.
| hprotagonist wrote:
| _Sundays too my father got up early
|
| and put his clothes on in the blueblack cold,
|
| then with cracked hands that ached
|
| from labor in the weekday weather made
|
| banked fires blaze. No one ever thanked him.
|
| I'd wake and hear the cold splintering, breaking.
|
| When the rooms were warm, he'd call,
|
| and slowly I would rise and dress,
|
| fearing the chronic angers of that house,
|
| Speaking indifferently to him,
|
| who had driven out the cold
|
| and polished my good shoes as well.
|
| What did I know, what did I know
|
| of love's austere and lonely offices?_
|
| Robert Hayden, "Those Winter Sundays"
| circlefavshape wrote:
| Oh dear. This has made me a bit teary
| hprotagonist wrote:
| it worked!
| nemo44x wrote:
| Once you have kids for yourself, only then can you finally
| realize how much your parents (hopefully) loved you.
| 11235813213455 wrote:
| what's also fun is "perfect" just means "done" from its latin
| roots
| kangalioo wrote:
| They didn't do it perfectly but they did it perfectly? Do you
| have two different definitions for "perfect" and are mixing
| them?
| Cpoll wrote:
| Sometimes you do a perfect job, and sometimes you do a bad
| job perfectly.
|
| But to avoid any more wordplay: Sometimes you need to use a
| flawed technique to achieve an end. You can execute that
| flawed technique perfectly, but that won't make it a perfect
| job.
| FrankyHollywood wrote:
| Indeed, the 'perfect path' in life is not perfect. Life has
| so many paths, everything is a trade off. Spent more time
| with your kids? You loose time with friends etc. Whatever
| you do or choose in life, it means you can't do all the
| other stuff.
|
| There were interesting comments about 'having regrets'
| previously: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33118584
| ryanianian wrote:
| I think you've missed the poetry.
| kybernetyk wrote:
| I completely agree with you. As we grow older and gain more
| life experiences, we are able to see and appreciate the hard
| work and sacrifices that our parents made for us. Even though
| they may not have done everything perfectly, their love and
| dedication to their family is truly admirable. It's important
| to recognize and show gratitude for their efforts and support.
| sandreas wrote:
| This reminds me of Patrick Rothfuss' The Wise Man's Fear... seems
| that his dad told him a similar story :-)
|
| > "Once upon a time," I began. "There was a little boy born in a
| little town. He was perfect, or so his mother thought. But one
| thing was different about him. He had a gold screw in his belly
| button. Just the head of it peeping out.
| anonporridge wrote:
| The joke goes back to at least 1971 based on it's appearance in
| a book of Isaac Asimov's favorite jokes, https://old.reddit.com
| /r/KingkillerChronicle/comments/3uul26.... I'm sure it's much
| older. My father also told a version of it back in the 80s.
|
| Screws and screwdrivers are at least 500 years old, so this
| joke could have been mutating around its core punchline through
| generations for quite a long time before it was first written
| down.
| ecornflak wrote:
| My Dad was an avid sci fi reader, I feel this is probably
| where he borrowed from :)
| jojobas wrote:
| The belly button joke is very old and widespread, I believe my
| father was warned by his father.
| berkes wrote:
| The brother of an old friend got curious, went downstairs
| really early in the morning, found his dad's tools, and tried
| to unscrew his bottom. He poked around in his belly-button with
| a screw-driver until it started bleeding. This guy became one
| of the best car-mechanics later on in life.
| mbg721 wrote:
| Great, now my Navel Pressure Monitoring System sensors chime
| every time I start the ignition.
| BurningPenguin wrote:
| So widespread, it apparently transcends borders. My
| grandparents used that one a few times. Hello from Germany. :)
| kawsper wrote:
| My parents told me that you get a hole in your belly if you eat
| gum.
|
| As a child I panicked once because I accidentally swallowed
| some gum, it's a mean thing to lie about :(
| _0ffh wrote:
| I think some people used to believe that a swallowed piece of
| gum might cause appendicitis. I don't know how accurate that
| belief is, but maybe your parents weren't trying to be mean,
| just cautious.
| [deleted]
| themadturk wrote:
| My wife was terrorized by her older siblings, who told her if
| she swallowed a watermelon seed she would wake up dead the
| next morning.
| zB2sj38WHAjYnvm wrote:
| My parents told me something very similar about gum, and a
| whole lot of other weird things over the years. Is this a
| universal experience? I wonder if it's a helpful evolutionary
| trait, sort of like training your "mental immune system" the
| same way that your mother chewing your food and feeding it to
| you, germs and all, strengthens your actual immune system.
| jojobas wrote:
| What's the stimulus and response if you tell your kid a
| joke/lie and never let him figure out it was a joke?
|
| The correct way would be to intermingle jokes with truths
| and telling/laughing some time after they swallow the lies
| they should have doubted.
|
| My kids seem to doubt everything they hear (pain in the bum
| for teachers), yet almost religiously believe everything
| I've told "for real".
| denton-scratch wrote:
| > Is this a universal experience?
|
| What, being spun some BS by your parents?
|
| My mother told me that picking my nose would result in my
| nose becoming like a cow's nose. She was right; my face is
| now indistinguishable from a cow's.
| wruza wrote:
| Yes, it is universal, at least in my circle. I think it's
| not a trait, but simply our evolutional tolerance to stupid
| things parents say when it comes to parenting or to just
| being reasonable. You don't die from not swallowing a gum,
| avoiding black cats or praying to invisible dude. So these
| things can live ages.
|
| Only to my 30s I began to realize _how much_ of this non-
| contextual nonsense was put in my mind, from gums to
| proverbs to rules to... basically everything was a subject
| for reevaluation.
| TeMPOraL wrote:
| Not sure how helpful it is. I wasn't told much lies as a
| kid. Plenty of wrong things, yes, but those were all common
| misconceptions (some still widely held by people today,
| plenty of them present on this Wikipedia list[0]).
|
| Someone close to me, however, was told a lot of such lies
| in their childhood, and continued to believe them into
| adulthood. When we met during our university years, I
| unknowingly debunked a few of those stories during casual
| conversations, and the person later thanked me and told me
| that, sadly, this completely shattered the trust they had
| for their father.
|
| ----
|
| [0] -
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_common_misconceptions
| TedDoesntTalk wrote:
| > this completely shattered the trust they had for their
| father.
|
| Friend of mine felt this way when he learned the truth
| about Santa Claus. No joke.
| hamburglar wrote:
| I'd tell my kids a lot fewer lies if they actually fell
| for them. Half the fun (and the entire point) is watching
| them get a more and more sophisticated nose for bullshit.
| salawat wrote:
| If you get in contact with your friend: point out to them
| that part of being a parent is building up an
| independent, bullshit tolerant, reality questioning
| adult.
|
| If none of the things you debunked were serious, then it
| may have been seed planting for later epiphanies.
|
| I've made very sure that the kiddos I spend time with
| have a rich mix of truths, half-truths, and jolly
| equivocations to sort through in their life, and they
| have no end of fun working their way to proving me wrong.
|
| I consider this an investment in their future development
| of bullshit filters to keep things running when mine have
| finally given up the ghost (May it not happen in the
| forseeable future).
| danuker wrote:
| > your mother chewing your food and feeding it to you,
| germs and all, strengthens your actual immune system.
|
| [citation needed]
| rsynnott wrote:
| The comment you're replying to was obviously written by a
| bird.
| danuker wrote:
| Do birds chew gum?
| nmridul wrote:
| The "bird" didn't mention chewing gum.. They take
| plastic, so possible they can also take gums..
|
| https://www.blastic.eu/knowledge-bank/impacts/plastic-
| ingest...
| soco wrote:
| First hand account here from back in the 80s of grandmas
| chewing adult food for babies. No they were not birds but
| humans, all of them. Make what you want with this
| information.
| robocat wrote:
| I read a comment recently by a person born in an Asian
| country, where it was normal for babies or children to be
| fed by their parents "pre-masticated". Makes complete
| sense to me. You might also do it for someone who was
| ill.
|
| They mentioned that getting fed food was something they
| still occasionally did, that it was a supremely intimate
| thing to do.
| endtime wrote:
| My eight-year-olds have gotten quite good at detecting when
| I'm pulling their legs. I never deceive them about anything
| serious, but I want them to learn to think critically about
| what authority figures tell them. My five-year-old is
| thoroughly convinced I can read his mind by putting my nose
| to his ear and smelling his brain; I established
| credibility when I was confident I knew what he was
| thinking. It works great for "I'm not tired" when he
| clearly is, or "my tummy is full" after two bites of food.
| Also, if he eats his eggs, at bedtime he will be strong
| enough to win a wrestling match with me.
|
| I also enjoy planting small "easter eggs" for them...e.g.
| whenever we drive through the Holland Tunnel I hum the
| Super Mario underground theme, which I have explained
| simply as "tunnel music". One day they'll get it.
| implements wrote:
| It's bad enough when they spit on a hanky and wipe your
| face with it!
| numeromancer wrote:
| Civilized mothers use covfefe.
| [deleted]
| starkd wrote:
| It reminds me of a line in a Sopranos episode. Only it
| substituted penis for bottom.
|
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHmsqjm4lV0
| hardlianotion wrote:
| That actually seems more realistic.
| akrain wrote:
| I can't recall the exact lines but Thomas Pynchon's V. has an
| interesting variation of this story.
| owlglass wrote:
| "Somehow it was all tied up with a story he'd heard once,
| about a boy born with a golden screw where his navel should
| have been. For twenty years he consults doctors and
| specialists all over the world, trying to get rid of this
| screw, and having no success. Finally, in Haiti, he runs into
| a voodoo doctor who gives him a foul-smelling potion.
|
| He drinks it, goes to sleep and has a dream. In this dream he
| finds himself on a street, lit by green lamps. Following the
| witch-man's instructions, he takes two rights and a left from
| his point of origin, finds a tree growing by the seventh
| street light, hung all over with colored balloons. On the
| fourth limb from the top there is a red balloon; he breaks it
| and inside is a screwdriver with a yellow plastic handle.
| With the screwdriver he removes the screw from his stomach,
| and as soon as this happens he wakes from the dream. It is
| morning. He looks down toward his navel, the screw is gone.
| That twenty years' curse is lifted at last. Delirious with
| joy, he leaps up out of bed, and his ass falls off."
|
| I thought of the same thing when I read the title of the post
| as well. Lovely book, made me laugh many times.
| ecornflak wrote:
| It's interesting to find this out!
| a_c wrote:
| Unrelated, I fat fingered on a link without noticing. I was
| confused as to why the content I'm reading is completely
| unrelated to what I read 30s before.
|
| This website is fast.
| Veen wrote:
| Exceptionally so for a WordPress site.
| rahimnathwani wrote:
| The theme he's using claims to be the fastest WordPress
| theme:
|
| https://generatepress.com/generatepress-3-0-a-new-era/
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