[HN Gopher] All your old tech is haunted
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       All your old tech is haunted
        
       Author : HAARP
       Score  : 77 points
       Date   : 2022-10-28 13:05 UTC (9 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (therectangle.substack.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (therectangle.substack.com)
        
       | gjsman-1000 wrote:
       | My mother had a TV in the 90s that would spontaneously wake up at
       | approximately midnight, at random. The family rumor was that it
       | happened after being struck by lightning. Creepy.
        
         | norwalkbear wrote:
         | It was probably due to be bugs or a mouse
        
       | scarface74 wrote:
       | Usually when my computers are "haunted", it's caused by corporate
       | mandated malware.
        
       | simple-thoughts wrote:
       | Haunting is overfitting data to a pattern (ghost) that can
       | explain everything. The benefit is less thought about things that
       | don't matter, but missing out on learning something useful is the
       | disadvantage.
        
         | erulabs wrote:
         | Overfitting seems pretty great for survival - who cares if one
         | in 100 canines is friendly - much safer to avoid them! Humans
         | seem to be unique in that we occasionally second guess our
         | overfit models. And in the case of avoiding dangerous animals,
         | the result couldn't have been more wonderful: Dogs!
         | 
         | Confronting and undoing a casually overfit mental model is
         | harder the more subtle and useful they are - but those are the
         | bits that hide the great secrets of the universe!
        
           | marcosdumay wrote:
           | > who cares if one in 100 canines is friendly - much safer to
           | avoid them!
           | 
           | Hum... That's really not overfitting. In fact, that's the
           | opposite of it, an incomplete model.
        
       | cpeterso wrote:
       | I had a haunted USB cable that would somehow cause USB to stop
       | working in any device I plugged it into (until I rebooted the
       | device). Once I figured out it was a problem with a USB cable,
       | identifying the faulty USB cable required rebooting the devices
       | after testing each cable (because any cables plugged in after the
       | faulty one wouldn't work either).
        
       | beckingz wrote:
       | Even our new technology is haunted. Random changes to Jira
       | configurations with nothing in the audit logs...
       | 
       | Ghosts in the machine, spirit in the system, hear the whispers,
       | screams are distant.
        
       | forgotmypw17 wrote:
       | I don't pretend to know how any of this stuff works, but I
       | acknowledge it, respect it, and pay tribute when I can.
       | 
       | Because I am working on a Web product which aims to be compatible
       | with every Web server and Web browser in every configuration, I
       | went out of my way to visit historic places, such as the Netscape
       | offices in Mountain View, and Urbana-Champaign campus where
       | Mosaic was developed.
       | 
       | I sat and meditated on their history and the events which
       | happened there. And I feel that my product better as a result.
        
       | falcolas wrote:
       | I'm reminded of the "I can't send email to anyone over 100 miles
       | away" story. There is, of course, a perfectly rational
       | explanation... but that doesn't change the spooky arbitrariness
       | of it..
       | 
       | EDIT: Not sure why I forgot to link this, out of one of my all-
       | time favorite presentations. I give you: The Mechanical
       | Transmogrification of Diodes into Capacitors!
       | 
       | https://c3.ndc.nasa.gov/dashlink/static/media/other/Observed...
        
         | deathanatos wrote:
         | And the "more magic" switch:
         | http://www.catb.org/jargon/html/magic-story.html
        
         | hinkley wrote:
         | I've mentioned before how loud an argument we got into with a
         | guy who aspired to being a hacker, and yet didn't understand
         | that the magnetic domains on a HDD were essentially analog.
         | Even after we asked him why, if hard drives were truly binary,
         | that secure disk erase tools were so complex and slow he still
         | insisted that everything was binary, soup to nuts.
         | 
         | Even the simplest things are a fiction. Or maybe I should say
         | _especially_ the simplest things are a fiction.
        
         | pfarrell wrote:
         | For those that haven't see it yet.
         | 
         | https://www.ibiblio.org/harris/500milemail.html
        
           | grantonthenet wrote:
           | That was a fun read
        
       | ryanianian wrote:
       | Any sufficiently advanced home automation is indistinguishable
       | from a haunting.
        
       | dottedmag wrote:
       | Spectre-infested computer, you say? Yes, thanks to CPU
       | manufacturers.
        
         | jimmaswell wrote:
         | Why haven't Spectre et al been used as vectors to jailbreak old
         | hardware yet? I get the impression they're not that practical
         | of vectors and we freaked out and hobbled our cpu performance
         | with patches for nothing.
        
           | sidewndr46 wrote:
           | Out of curiosity, what I would be jailbreaking? My x86-64
           | motherboard that I can boot any OS I want onto?
        
           | yjftsjthsd-h wrote:
           | They're only useful for reading things out of memory, not
           | writing. So it's not immediately obvious how you would use
           | them to jailbreak a machine?
        
       | w1nst0nsm1th wrote:
       | There is a far better piece on the matter from the atlantic :
       | https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/09/how-ame...
        
       | jeegsy wrote:
       | > Put it this way: I've never encountered groups of ghoul-lovers
       | hanging outside abortion clinics and harassing women about
       | hauntings.
       | 
       | This made me throw up in my mouth and my eyes hurt from all the
       | eye rolls
        
       | _aavaa_ wrote:
       | Old tech? My current tech is possessed by those doing Satan's
       | bidding.
       | 
       | Constantly tempting me, always whispering in my ear to want more,
       | making me covet what others have.
        
         | mellavora wrote:
         | and asking you to update it once per week so it can reorganize
         | your files and workflow.
         | 
         | For your own good.
        
           | _aavaa_ wrote:
           | Unless you use windows in which case "asking" is a bit of a
           | euphemism.
        
         | throwaway0x7E6 wrote:
         | if only you knew how bad things really are
        
           | _aavaa_ wrote:
           | Do you mean that the tech is in a worse state than it would
           | appear at first glance, or that literally most of society is
           | built in order to accomplish those same goals.
        
             | salawat wrote:
             | Yes.
        
       | tempe1h1 wrote:
        
       | gausswho wrote:
       | Haunting is the page blocking modal demanding I register at
       | Substack. That site and Medium are begging for a Nitter.
        
         | skyfaller wrote:
         | Medium has https://scribe.rip/
        
         | forgotmypw17 wrote:
         | It already exists: https://archive.ph/wFjRx
        
       | Suzuran wrote:
       | I should be safe; The switch is still set to More Magic.
        
       | themadturk wrote:
       | Many years ago, in my first tech job, we converted our
       | typewriter-driven office to networked DOS PCs, running on
       | Netware. One day, one of the legal secretaries, of self-described
       | Roma ancestry, started complaining about her PC acting
       | oddly...software not starting, spontaneous reboots ,etc. We
       | replaced her machine to troubleshoot it, but the same thing
       | happened with the replacement machine. We couldn't detect
       | anything she was doing wrong.
       | 
       | Finally, she got tired of our fruitless technology-driven
       | attempts to help her and strung a few cloves of garlic along the
       | tops and sides of her cubicle. Her problems went away,
       | immediately. My boss, the director of IT, and I looked at each
       | other, shrugged, and called it good.
        
         | jamal-kumar wrote:
         | One time I had a horrible roommate I hated immensely. She did
         | shit like make a friend of mine cry on her birthday. Her
         | boyfriend broke up with her cause she was obviously a terrible
         | person, so her response to this was visiting a witch doctor
         | (This is an incident that happened in the third world so bear
         | with me for a moment). His recommendation was to cut an X into
         | limes and put them in the corner of each room in the house. He
         | said if they were intact when she came back home from work, but
         | if they were black when she came back from work then he'd DIE.
         | She told me this with a smile on her face.
         | 
         | I was like wow you're an idiot who believes in bullshit which
         | might actually kill someone, fuck you. Called in late to work,
         | went to the store, bought limes, cut X's into each of them and
         | DOUBLED THE LIMES she put in the corners of the house.
         | 
         | She left while paying rent for like two months and I had the
         | best time of my life which occurred staying there after.
        
           | rescbr wrote:
           | > and DOUBLED THE LIMES she put in the corners of the house
           | 
           | Now there's her problem. By doing that the spell changed from
           | "kill ex-boyfriend" to "self eviction".
        
             | jamal-kumar wrote:
             | Magic is the manipulation of belief space. If you're too
             | ignorant to understand that, you're liable to its effects.
        
         | yrgulation wrote:
         | Roma "treatments" are fascinating, in a very positive way
         | (sadly in europe you need to mention this, as roma are very
         | discriminated against). I knew of one where they do a trick
         | with lit matches at door corners that "treats" mild colds and
         | "curses". Wondering if this wizardry originates from india,
         | given their history [0][1], or they picked it up on the way to
         | europe but i really wish there was a book on these practices
         | and their origins. I am almost certain these involve
         | psychology, somehow, but cant prove it.
         | 
         | [0] https://encyclopedia.ushmm.org/content/en/article/roma-
         | gypsi...
         | 
         | [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_the_Romani_people
        
         | hinkley wrote:
         | The peculiar thing about having an aluminum cased laptop is
         | that when the ground wires in the power adapter get frayed, or
         | if the electrical circuit is hot garbage, you tend to get a
         | little tingle when you touch the computer. Time to either throw
         | away that adapter or get your wiring checked.
         | 
         | But when you feed bad power into a computer, you get glitches,
         | and quite often this 'haunted' equipment is just running in a
         | bad way. For all we know this woman jiggled a wire and
         | everything is fine.
         | 
         | I've been on the other side of this: IT head says we're gonna
         | swap a server out. It has nothing to do with the workload I/we
         | have today so we say sure. Problem is that it's in the same
         | rack as something with a deadline, and jiggling the wires
         | causes a network connection to go down. I've had this happen
         | three times and we've swapped the cables in each case. Because
         | jiggling an ethernet cable should never be sufficient stress to
         | lose connection.
         | 
         | First time the manager threw the cable away on his own. Second
         | one I had to make him give me the cable because 'it could still
         | be good'. Third one started the same argument, then pulled out
         | wire cutters, cut off the ends, handed them to me to shut me
         | up. Bad equipment goes in the garbage, not into a drawer that
         | means 'ticking time bombs'. Since the connectors are usually
         | why a cable is 'bad', I was mollified.
        
           | themadturk wrote:
           | We completely replaced the machine, so the chances of the
           | power or ethernet cable being plugged in wrong in exactly the
           | same way on two different machines seems vanishingly small.
           | This being well over 30 years ago, I have no idea anymore
           | whether or not we tried swapping either cable. At any rate,
           | it was a least a day between the most recent machine
           | replacement, which didn't seem to solve her problem, and the
           | garlic placement. I'm sure there's a rational explanation in
           | there somewhere...but problem solved, however it happened!
        
         | mxuribe wrote:
         | Little did they know, that those early computers were actually
         | powered by garlic odors[0]! Like calculators that can be
         | powered by light - the "magic" that we call solar power. So, of
         | course, the user's implementatin of garlic cloves clearly
         | "fixed the glitch". Happy pre-Halloween!
         | 
         | [0] No, of course garlic isn't an energy source. ...At least,
         | not one that we (yet) know how to harness. ;-)
        
         | nyc_data_geek1 wrote:
         | In some cases, waving a dead chicken over it works, apparently!
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | lelanthran wrote:
       | > You'd be surprised at just how many people believe in the
       | supernatural.
       | 
       | I wouldn't - the majority believes in an invisible sky friend.
        
         | snapcaster wrote:
         | And out of those who don't, a bunch believe in an invisible
         | simulation programmer
        
         | unethical_ban wrote:
         | Oh, please do not bring the juvenile rhetorical flair of reddit
         | here.
        
         | EarlKing wrote:
         | Even worse: Some of them still use proprietary software.
        
       | nuc1e0n wrote:
       | If you've ever worked on a codebase with developers who are no
       | longer around, you come to understand the data structures,
       | algorithms and comments they leave behind give a sense of their
       | personality. A 'ghost' if you will.
        
       | lob_it wrote:
        
       | mark_undoio wrote:
       | Periodically, my diagnosis on test failures has been "maybe a
       | ghost did it".
       | 
       | Test failures that are flaky / sporadic _often_ signal something
       | you really need to look into - either you 're not in control of
       | your test's corner cases or your product's. Either way you can't
       | ignore it.
       | 
       | But, sometimes, with the whole "running hundreds of thousands of
       | tests of complex, interacting software on cloud infrastructure
       | that has virtualisation, custom kernels, whatever ..." the answer
       | is just "woooooo spooky". When it comes to customer boxes, it's
       | even weirder ;-)
       | 
       | === When PTRACE_SINGLESTEP got haunted ===
       | 
       | A few years ago, we saw a particular issue in which the
       | PTRACE_SINGLESTEP operation (which should, you know, step by a
       | single instruction!) would sometimes step two instructions - but
       | it basically only happened in testing.
       | 
       | Eventually we figured out that:
       | 
       | * For a particular older enterprise distro on x86.
       | 
       | * If you tried to single-step a thread in one process.
       | 
       | * And a thread _in another process_ hit a watchpoint at the same
       | time.
       | 
       | * Then your thread would step by two instructions.
       | 
       | Spooky action at a distance. This _might_ also have required you
       | to be running on a virtualized system - it didn 't matter to us
       | at that point, since clearly we need to work around issues people
       | may see on cloud infrastructure.
       | 
       | Of course, unless you tested debugger workloads extensively you'd
       | probably never have two processes under debug simultaneously in
       | order to notice this.
       | 
       | === When transparent hugepages got haunted ===
       | 
       | When RHEL backported support for the Linux kernel's THP
       | optimisation, quite a few years ago, to one of their enterprise
       | kernels a bug _also_ got backported that I 'd call "extremely
       | haunted".
       | 
       | THP worked fine, maps would automatically get huge pages where
       | appropriate and would get split up again if necessary.
       | 
       | EXCEPT ... if a THP-ed memory location was:
       | 
       | * Write-protected because of COW memory sharing (e.g. after fork)
       | 
       | * And the page was split by a write
       | 
       | * And that write had come from a PTRACE_POKE operation, not an
       | in-process write.
       | 
       | Then something crazy would go wrong in the system. That process,
       | IIRC, would hang and become unkillable.
       | 
       | Some sort of goblin got into the memory management subsystem at
       | that point and there was no getting it out again - gradually the
       | whole system would start to lock up until it became unusable -
       | eventually requiring the box to be reset. This happened even from
       | an unprivileged process.
       | 
       | Again, this is something most workloads wouldn't see but - once
       | we'd understood the underlying issue - we had to find ways to
       | prevent it happening. You just can't trigger a kernel bug like
       | that, even if you know it's not your fault. If you're always
       | there when it happens, nobody is sympathetic to you!
        
       | mellavora wrote:
       | My brother worked in tech support at a Christian college. People
       | would come in with a PC that wasn't working. He would look at it
       | thoughfuly for a few moments, then, in a loud voice and great
       | dramatic flair would say "Demon, Be Gone" and smash his hands
       | into the keyboard (carefully, such that he was actually hitting
       | control-alt-delete-- but you wouldn't notice this because of the
       | acting).
       | 
       | the computer would shut down, reboot, and he would look at them
       | and cheerfully and calmly say "All better now. You can go home."
        
         | hef19898 wrote:
         | Ah, that's how ComStar and the Word-of-Blake got their
         | religious ideas from!
        
       | danparsonson wrote:
       | I can attest to this; we have a vacuum cleaning robot that has
       | recently taken to spontaneous vacuuming at random times - the
       | first time was naturally just after midnight and scared the life
       | out of me :-)
        
         | _jal wrote:
         | Doesn't even have to be digital. My furnace, with a very old,
         | very analog thermostat, has been randomly turning itself on.
        
           | sokoloff wrote:
           | That will often be a short in the thermostat wires; old
           | thermostat tech worked by just dead-shorting the two "T"
           | terminals together, so any degraded insulation could be
           | calling for heat if it allows a short to develop.
           | 
           | If it happens enough to be annoying, consider setting the
           | T-stat to NOT call for heat and then go moving wires around
           | until you find the place that has the intermittent short.
        
         | outworlder wrote:
         | Be scared if it suddenly starts to play the "1812 Overture".
        
       | photochemsyn wrote:
       | Relevant philosophical discussion: Koestler (1967)
       | 
       | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ghost_in_the_Machine
       | 
       | This work has informed quite a bit of art and literature ever
       | since, from the manga/anime series Ghost in the Shell to a fair
       | bit of William Gibson's work (see 'semiotic ghosts' of futures
       | that might-have-been in The Gernsback Continuum).
       | 
       | As far as religious belief in modern civilization, Frank Herbert
       | in Dune (Appendix II) describes what I imagine is the common
       | modern view among the 'power elite':
       | 
       |  _The agnostic ruling class (including the Guild) for whom
       | religion was a kind of puppet show to amuse the populace and keep
       | it docile, and who believed essentially that all phenomena - even
       | religious phenomena - could be reduced to mechanical
       | explanations._
       | 
       | With respect to as belief, I think anyone who says 'I believe in
       | <insert whatever here>' is actually expressing doubt in their own
       | world view. I'm more impressed by the so-called religious
       | fanatics who instead say, 'I _know_ of  <insert whatever here>'.
       | Consider the person who hears the voice of 'invisble sky friends'
       | in their heads and writes it down in an (eventually holy) text -
       | who is to say with certainty whether that's the result of
       | schizophrenia and auditory hallucinations, or an actual
       | interdimensional communication from the architect of this virtual
       | reality simulation we're all (okay, perhaps) living in?
       | 
       | As far as haunted old tech:
       | 
       | " _We build our computers the way we build our cities - over
       | time, without a plan, on top of ruins._ " - Ellen Ullman, Life in
       | Code
        
         | anthk wrote:
         | > who is to say with certainty whether that's the result of
         | schizophrenia and auditory hallucinations, or an actual
         | interdimensional communication from the architect of this
         | virtual reality simulation we're all (okay, perhaps) living in?
         | 
         | Russel's Teapot. Also, Occam's Razor.
        
       | booleandilemma wrote:
       | Related: Fix your PC with a crystal pendulum
       | 
       | https://youtu.be/-MM0Z_jCrGo
        
       | anonym29 wrote:
       | I have observed my hibernating linux desktop receiving and
       | transmitting data through the onboard GbE interface to IPs that
       | were owned by an ASN owned by an LLC with a registered address
       | matching the WHOIS for the ASN - an address that didn't exist
       | according to the postal service. Captured upstream with an
       | OpenWRT router running a packet capture and that desktop as the
       | only device downstream of that router.
       | 
       | Either ghosts or the PSP on my AMD processor chatting with
       | spooks.
        
       | rob74 wrote:
       | I have a haunted TV: my 4 year old Sony Bravia (Android TV)
       | reboots seemingly intentionally during the most interesting parts
       | of TV broadcasts. And since a few weeks ago, it also regularly
       | loses the Wi-Fi connection. Thanks Google and Sony!
        
         | Ma8ee wrote:
         | Our Google Chromecast tend to become very hot and then restart
         | when the kids watch Disney+.
        
         | tenebrisalietum wrote:
         | I had a bad experience with the last (and final) cheap Android
         | TV I got (Philips, really a rebranded FUNAI according to the
         | Netflix device ID) - would take minutes to boot, often not
         | power on unless unplugged, and would get slower and slower the
         | longer it was on. Guess it was haunted as well. I left it in
         | the house I sold.
        
         | HAARP wrote:
         | Ah, a classic case of haunted tech. My version is my electric
         | bike that decides it wants to turn the power on and off as it
         | pleases.
        
         | newZWhoDis wrote:
         | Usually the culprit is aged electrolytic capacitors.
        
           | rescbr wrote:
           | Mine had cold solder joints on the bridge rectifier.
        
         | ajoseps wrote:
         | wow I also have a Sony Bravia around the same age and this also
         | happens to me sporadically! drives me insane when it happens,
         | but it's infrequent enough that I haven't replaced it yet.
        
           | Minor49er wrote:
           | Beware. Newer TVs are haunted with so many persistent smart
           | features that you might miss the Bravia
        
         | cpeterso wrote:
         | My Samsung TV remote used to stop working once a week, every
         | week. The only fix was "rebooting" the remote by popping the
         | batteries out and back in.
        
       | hiidrew wrote:
       | My sister is very into crystals, actually works at a shop
       | financed by some billionaire's daughter.
       | 
       | Every now and then she likes to remind me of that most of our
       | screens are made out of quartz, and highlights the associated
       | qualities of the crystal.
       | 
       | I can't recall them but I always find it interesting, something
       | about assigning beliefs and extra qualities onto your everyday
       | objects. Some people believe in a white god with long hair in the
       | clouds while others believe in the magical qualities of rocks. I
       | find the diversity of beliefs beautiful.
        
       ___________________________________________________________________
       (page generated 2022-10-28 23:02 UTC)