[HN Gopher] Ask HN: Am I wrong to think this is disrespectful?
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Ask HN: Am I wrong to think this is disrespectful?
I have been working on a startup idea for about year, talking to
potential customers, refining the technical roadmap based on market
feedback. On advice of a few friends that I need to thinking about
funding now, not 6 months down the roads, I aligned the meeting
with a couple of investors. Now comes a twist. A friend of mine
was terminated from his job, and I had aspirations to invite him as
a cofounder. He contacted me one day before the intro call with
investor, and I said, we will think about your situations but right
now I am building this pitch deck. He offered to help. (He has been
helpful in the past), So I handed over the last two slides to him.
He added another slide with the team intros and added him as
cofounder & CEO. Although, if things worked out, He was my number 1
cofounder choice, but I feel this is disrespectful. He just cannot
write CEO without asking me first. This shows a lack of respect,
and I am not really sure if I want to work with his guy. Need
second opinions.
Author : debuggerpk
Score : 12 points
Date : 2022-10-23 20:21 UTC (2 hours ago)
| davismwfl wrote:
| Unless you two had discussed it in some prior conversation, it is
| a red flag IMO and I'd be cautious with this person in any
| capacity. Doing this without having a chat about it, is
| disrespectful IMO as well. It also shows a lack of foresight into
| what might cause team issues too. So it is a warning sign on
| multiple levels, at least to me.
| debuggerpk wrote:
| Thanks
| relaunched wrote:
| Don't ever make a person show you who they really are, twice.
|
| If you decide to move forward with this person, this is the type
| of behavior you are always going to have to look out for. You
| shouldn't allow yourself to every be surprised, nor should you
| leave any ambiguity with anything.
|
| Then, ask yourself, "Is this the type of person I want to co-
| found a business with?"
|
| Good luck.
| yuvalr1 wrote:
| I think that it all depends on how the communication between you
| two works. If, for example, you are used to such inner jokes,
| like giving yourselves exaggerated titles, or maybe even if this
| is his bold way of asking to join you, it's completely fine.
|
| However, you felt the need to come and ask other people. It means
| you don't feel comfortable talking to him. You two don't
| communicate well together and you don't trust him. Communication
| and trust are the most important things. I would have probably
| avoided.
| Raed667 wrote:
| Yeah I had a friend that started pulling titles and ranks even
| before the first slide was ready. I think he watched The Social
| Network one too many times.
|
| Great friend, but had to say no to working with him.
| debuggerpk wrote:
| Thanks
| ProjectArcturis wrote:
| Huge red flag. Run.
| xupybd wrote:
| Wow a lot of strong advice here. If he's your friend sit down and
| talk. This may have been a miscommunication. Just be up front and
| open about your concerns. Don't make any rash moves until you
| know what happened.
| lazzurs wrote:
| I think if you can't both have a conversation about this easily
| then getting into business together might not be a good idea.
| Times are going to be tough and you need to not sweat the small
| stuff together.
|
| If you can sit down and have a chat then all good and do so. Go
| have fun.
| codingdave wrote:
| Whether or not it is disrespectful, it is a red flag that the two
| of you are not communicating well. In the case of choosing a co-
| founder, "Maybe" means "No.", so I'd step away from working with
| him.
| iancmceachern wrote:
| Exactly, I think the key here is that OP was put off by it (I
| would be too). That's a blessing kn disguise, follow your gut.
| felipellrocha wrote:
| I wouldn't say it's disrespectful, but I'd bring it up with him,
| and explain: "You've been helpful, but the CEO role will be
| mine." If he balks, move on. Simple as that. You don't have to be
| assume this is a huge issue until a conversation is had, and even
| then, if he tries to make it into a big issue you can choose to
| move on from him.
| lioeters wrote:
| Disrespectful and unprofessional. Like another commenter said,
| this is exactly the kind of person who will kick you out of your
| own company.
| sn0w_crash wrote:
| You should thank them and move on.
|
| This is the type of person whose first move will be to remove you
| from the company.
|
| Do not ever, ever work with this person. Ever again.
| gus_massa wrote:
| It looks like a red flag, but just in case you want to go on,
| remember " _4 year vesting with 1 year cliff_ ".
| brudgers wrote:
| Is your ego more important than moving the company forward?
|
| Good luck.
| dctoedt wrote:
| > _Is your ego more important than moving the company forward?_
|
| I can see why the poster's use of the word "disrespectful"
| might make you wonder about that, but the full context seems to
| make it clear that it's not a question of ego. "Presumptuous"
| might have been a better choice of words for the BIG red flag
| raised by the "friend's" action.
| iancmceachern wrote:
| I think this is the wrong take. I think this is more about the
| other person's ego, not OP. There are many ways to move things
| forward, it's not like this potential person has some key to
| the kingdom that other potential partners dont.
| 1123581321 wrote:
| I would say that if this is a misunderstanding or a joke, and
| you're able to directly communicate that he's not a cofounder
| yet, then you may be able to work together.
|
| If you can't bring yourself to say that to him, you won't have a
| productive relationship (and you will also have trouble dealing
| with employees well.)
|
| If he did this as an overt power grab, that's obviously not okay,
| but that's so straightforward that I don't think it's what's
| prompting you to ask, here.
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(page generated 2022-10-23 23:01 UTC)