[HN Gopher] Design the next iPhone
___________________________________________________________________
Design the next iPhone
Author : mkeeter
Score : 890 points
Date : 2022-08-23 16:16 UTC (6 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (neal.fun)
(TXT) w3m dump (neal.fun)
| supernova87a wrote:
| How fun!
|
| And did anyone else notice in the reflection of the metal band
| what room (like what virtual place the camera is located) you're
| shown designing this in?
| zootboy wrote:
| If you want a slightly better look: https://neal.fun/design-
| the-next-iphone/cubemap/px.png
| boogies wrote:
| All sides:
| https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32567147#32568060
| n4bz0r wrote:
| Beta males mumbling about type-c this, buttons that. Replaceable
| battery... LOL.
|
| Here is what _real consumers_ want:
|
| https://i.ibb.co/93dbrmJ/IMG-20220823-223304.jpg
| DocJade wrote:
| "Be not afraid"
| matthoiland wrote:
| Biblically accurate iPhones
| [deleted]
| NaturalPhallacy wrote:
| I didn't realize adding components added to the price. Here's my
| $6,900 iPhone: https://i.imgur.com/6yB14mx.mp4
| huhtenberg wrote:
| Practical and beautiful, married in seamless harmony.
|
| https://i.imgur.com/QCY5Oa6.mp4
|
| Yes, that's the lightning port.
| cainxinth wrote:
| Anyone else try to figure out what the reflection texture is? I
| think it's Apple Park.
| mminer237 wrote:
| It definitely is: https://neal.fun/design-the-next-
| iphone/cubemap/pz.png
| hundchenkatze wrote:
| Yep, it's Apple Park. Here are the images used:
|
| https://neal.fun/design-the-next-iphone/cubemap/nx.png
|
| https://neal.fun/design-the-next-iphone/cubemap/ny.png
|
| https://neal.fun/design-the-next-iphone/cubemap/nz.png
|
| https://neal.fun/design-the-next-iphone/cubemap/px.png
|
| https://neal.fun/design-the-next-iphone/cubemap/py.png
|
| https://neal.fun/design-the-next-iphone/cubemap/pz.png
| rendleflag wrote:
| Am I the only one that opened up the page, saw the blank phone,
| and said "no changes needed"?
| anta40 wrote:
| Hmmm... pro handle? joystick? steering wheel? Copter blade?
|
| why? WHYYY????
|
| :D
| xtreme wrote:
| If you ever find yourself asking "WHY???", the answer is
| probably "Why not?"
| smm11 wrote:
| Just copy the latest Galaxy.
| jbombadil wrote:
| I started being silly and just adding wheels and whatnot. Then at
| some point I decided to try to build exactly the phone I'd like.
| Turns out it's pretty close to the current iPhones, except:
|
| * Replace the apple logo on the back with the touchId/home
| button. It can still be shaped like an apple, but please let it
| read my fingerprint.
|
| * Move the power button to the top.
|
| * Change the lightning port to USB-C (not designed here)
|
| That's... it. It's really not that much, but it would make such
| an improvement.
| CivBase wrote:
| I did the same thing but with two changes:
|
| * Home button doubles as the power button (press and hold)
|
| * Headphone jack at the top
| the_other wrote:
| > Headphone jack at the top
|
| You're putting it in your pocket wrong.
| CivBase wrote:
| Heh, I guess. My last two phones had the jack at the top,
| so it's instinctively where I put it. I do like being able
| to rest it on a surface while holding it vertically with an
| audio cable connected. But charging it at the same time
| from the other end is a little weird. I guess in an ideal
| world I'd put _both_ ports at the top, but I don 't think
| that's what you were going for :)
| bombcar wrote:
| Top is the right place unless the fone flips itself. Or
| playing audio in a car is a pain.
|
| Even keeping a phone charged in a car is annoying now.
| insightcheck wrote:
| Out of curiosity, why would you move the power button to the
| top? I remember this was the configuration for the old iPod
| Touch, but with the power button along the side, it's easier to
| press the power button with your thumb in one-handed use.
| the_other wrote:
| It's way too easy to press it by accident on the side. You
| can't use the volume buttons to take phots without twisting
| your hand into some special shape whilst the power button is
| on the side. It should return to the top.
| Tagbert wrote:
| With the power/display button exactly opposite the volume
| buttons, it is difficult to just press the power/display
| button without also hitting the volume up button. Then you
| either change volume by mistake or do a screenshot by
| mistake. It was better when it was on the top. alternately,
| just move the volume buttons to the same side as the
| power/display button.
| cgrealy wrote:
| If I had a dollar for every time I've done that I'd have...
|
| _checks screenshots folder_
|
| $78 dollars!
| falcrist wrote:
| You could have the home button that was placed on the back of
| the phone wake it up. I still enjoy my S9+ because of it's
| well-positioned fingerprint sensor on the back that wakes the
| phone and bypasses the lock screen.
|
| I suppose when you're turning the phone off, you can easily
| shift your grip to hit the top. I still wouldn't think to put
| the power button there, though.
| FabHK wrote:
| Power button on top was the old configuration for iPhones,
| too, for the first 7 generations. It went to the side from
| iPhone 6 onwards, as the phone got larger.
|
| "the top button was renamed to "side button" and moved to the
| side of the phone instead of the top to improve its
| accessibility."
|
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPhone_6
| garysahota93 wrote:
| Where is the USB-C option? lol
| nurumaik wrote:
| It needs "view in AR" button
| hit8run wrote:
| I ejected from this status game and went utilitarian: iPhone SE
| 3.
| slantedview wrote:
| No notch, rounded edges, and the rest is just gravy.
| przemub wrote:
| I love how adding an Apple logo adds $200 but adding an Android
| one _subtracts_ $100 :D
| grishka wrote:
| Lmao. Add enough of them and you've got a free phone!
|
| https://imgur.com/4RhzomQ
| thefourthchime wrote:
| I thought you were kidding at first, it totally does!
| b-lee wrote:
| Reputation is earned. And it's worth
| jeroenhd wrote:
| One thing I'm missing that I'm still amazed the iPhone lacks: an
| under-screen fingerprint scanner. Behind-the-screen cameras are
| not ready for prime time, but surely Apple can please the
| fingerprint fans quite easily? They can even pretend they
| invented it by placing it on a weird position and saying it's
| revolutionary because no iPhone user has probably ever seen it
| before.
| CamperBob2 wrote:
| Probably blocked by somebody else's patent.
| Andrew_nenakhov wrote:
| My Moto Z4 has an under-screen fingerprint scanner, and I
| absolutely positively refuse to ever have a smartphone without
| such scanner. It is the best possible placement.
| dsr_ wrote:
| It's okay, but on the back in an indent is better.
| matt-by-nature wrote:
| The available options just keep escalating. Brilliant.
| busymom0 wrote:
| Here's my creation:
|
| https://i.imgur.com/UuctWcW.png
|
| Chopper blades act as a fan to keep my cool on hot summer days.
|
| Steering wheel can help with left and right swiping on tinder.
|
| Joystick for scrolling.
|
| Wheels for easy portability.
|
| And of course a rotary phone for doing the most important job of
| calling people.
|
| Add 4 android logos and get it for free.
| achenatx wrote:
| Im looking for a phone with no or limited screen that is as small
| as possible that has very long battery life.
|
| It could connect wired/wireless to video glasses, handheld
| screens, TVs, or whatever for video. It could connect to
| headphones, cars, etc for audio.
|
| IO could be done on the screens, finger sensors for gestures,
| voice command, or even neural commands.
|
| essentially remove the screen from the phone and let me choose a
| visual IO method based on my needs.
| clairity wrote:
| that's apple's long term goal, to realize pervasive personal
| computing. that's why they released siri, airpods, the watch,
| and faceID (and even the future glasses), as waypoints to that
| exact future. they probably won't get rid of screens, but will
| minimize their use over time.
| aceazzameen wrote:
| Not only did I add a headphone jack to mine, but I added 5 more
| of them! This is awesome.
| SllX wrote:
| I put one right at the top of the phone smack dab in the center
| just underneath the handle.
|
| I think users are really going to love it.
| quickthrower2 wrote:
| How else are you going to record your band's music?
| gsanderson wrote:
| Simply excellent. I finally removed the notch.
| dendrite9 wrote:
| I added a notch on each side in the lower half. One for power
| and one for volume.
| harrisonjackson wrote:
| If you tried it but didn't click the present button you are
| missing out. It really puts a bow on your design.
| roozbeh18 wrote:
| "This isn't just an upgrade, its a breakthrough"
| insightcheck wrote:
| [SPOILERS] If you click "Present" lots of times, there are
| other variations too:
|
| "These are the best iPhones we've ever created."
|
| "Wow, what an amazing day!"
|
| "This is a big upgrade!"
| seydor wrote:
| If it was a few years back, Jony Ive reading fortune cookies
| would be great
| jordanmorgan10 wrote:
| Ah yes, this is one of "Wow, I thought my website was cool"
| moments. Incredible!
| notum wrote:
| Even the fantasy dreamland design tool doesn't have an USB-C
| option.
| martin1975 wrote:
| Where's the 'Working VPN without "Always on VPN"' button?
| zw123456 wrote:
| I clicked present without adding anything, my design uses a
| telepathic interface, you simply think about it. If you see
| something, the image is transferred to the memory and uploaded to
| the cloud by simply desiring that occur. No microphone or
| earphones are needed, no Bluetooth. I call it the tiPhone it will
| be out in 2031, place your pre-orders now.
| jxy wrote:
| Why do you even need the brick?
|
| My design directly link your neurons to the cloud. Upload 3D
| vision, done. Connect to google maps, done. Call your mom,
| having a conversation without speaking aloud, done.
|
| iBrain. Think different.
|
| Directly download to your brain, from a brain near you. Soon.
| zw123456 wrote:
| Hehe, you one upped me for sure :)
|
| We are joking around of course, but sometimes interesting
| innovation comes from weird ponderings.
|
| I have an experimental cloud phone that has no CPU and uses
| an FPGA to directly transfer data from a VM in the cloud to
| the screen. It works, even on 4G but better on 5G. Also, I
| have been experimenting with transparent OLED.
|
| My dream would be a device completely cloud based, and hence,
| unlimited processing and storage. The back of the transparent
| display would be optical sensors and it would use
| computational imaging in the cloud, no lenses needed. The
| audio who knows, MEMS I suppose.
|
| I think the technology exists; would anyone want such a
| thing? Who knows, we have seen things like that in sci-fi
| movies of course.
| iso1631 wrote:
| So a dumb terminal hanging off someone elses mainframe?
| zw123456 wrote:
| yeah, someone else's power bill, cooling, floor space,
| capital expense.
| pjerem wrote:
| Please don't watch your baby in its bath, everything you see
| is matched against a database (rest assured for your privacy,
| everything is done locally in your brain - except if we need
| to human check - so you may experience slower thinking at
| times)
| ancientworldnow wrote:
| I know hn frowns on this type of comment but you really should
| have called he the psiPhone.
| zw123456 wrote:
| no, frown, me dumb. ELI5 it for me :)
| bishalpaudel wrote:
| My iPhone turned into a car-copter
| [deleted]
| renonce wrote:
| The components used seems to affect your starting price as well.
| Ninjinka wrote:
| Broken for me. Don't see a phone and can't drag pieces. EDIT: In
| Chrome:
|
| Refused to execute script from
| 'https://neal.fun/_nuxt/pages/design-the-next-iphone/index.a2...'
| because its MIME type ('text/html') is not executable, and strict
| MIME type checking is enabled.
| kemayo wrote:
| Also didn't work for me, in Safari on macOS.
| barsonme wrote:
| You should mention which browser and OS you're using.
| Otherwise, your comment isn't very useful.
| cianmm wrote:
| It didn't work in Safari for me, but did in Chrome.
| [deleted]
| Kamogo wrote:
| Hi creator here, what browser/OS are you on?
| Ninjinka wrote:
| Windows 10, Chrome 104.0.5112.82
| 0xbadcafebee wrote:
| Can I make mine without a screen? Actually serious.
| laszlokorte wrote:
| This needs a way to share the results!
| [deleted]
| latexr wrote:
| Present (top right) - Download video (bottom centre).
| laszlokorte wrote:
| Oh, the button does not show up for me :(
| slimginz wrote:
| Looks to be a Firefox thing. I just tested in both Chrome
| and Safari and the download link was there. Not in Firefox
| tho
| doodlebugging wrote:
| Unfortunately this does not have the option that I would like to
| see.
|
| The perfect new Apple phone would be one that serves the cheap-
| ass bastard market or the market for people who aren't interested
| in carrying a computer in their pocket.
|
| I present to you all the concept for a simple Apple flip phone
| (iFlipper). It does all the basic communications functions -
| text, HD single front and rear camera, voice calls and recording
| - has a long-life replaceable battery, basic keyboard, and a
| 2"x3" (50mm x 76 mm) HD screen. With this phone they could own
| the market for cheap, durable phones that can serve as company-
| issued phones for employees who need to stay connected but don't
| need to dink around with computing anything on their phones.
| Basic apps would allow time tracking, location tracking, text and
| pdf document reading and editing, simple spreadsheet creation and
| updating for customer invoicing, and note-taking and appointment
| management apps.
|
| Some of that ends up sounding like a computer but compared to all
| the things you can do with a normal smart phone, we can dumb
| things down and still have great phones with broad market appeal.
|
| You could even call them iDumb if you like.
| amelius wrote:
| That would not work for Apple because the iPhone is basically a
| vending machine in your pocket. Owned by Apple.
| tuatoru wrote:
| My wife has been wanting a phone that will follow her around by
| itself. The helicopter blade is just perfect!
| himanshuy wrote:
| Fun to add any silly components and click on "Present". Tim Cook
| be like "This isn't an upgrade, its a breakthrouuuugh.
| aendruk wrote:
| Missing: removable battery, USB-C port, microSD card slot, dual
| SIM card tray, speaker and microphone(s), ear proximity sensor
| and/or face scanner
|
| I'm assuming the home button can function as a rear fingerprint
| reader.
| TheJoeMan wrote:
| Granted. The internals now take up so much space only a 500mA
| battery can fit and the phone lasts 2 hours on a charge.
| aendruk wrote:
| "Missing" from TFA which includes a propeller and cup holder.
| Half of the list is in existing iPhones today.
| boogies wrote:
| My Pinephone has all those features except the dual SIM card
| tray, and the battery's capacity is rated 2,800mAh / typical
| 3,000mAh. The fact that it can burn through that in as little
| as an hour if held just right (with max brightness, volume,
| and load on the GPU, CPU, RAM, and separate modem CPU with
| the default nonfree, inefficient firmware; and not using the
| separately sold keyboard case with 6,000 more mAh) is a great
| incentive to limit its addictive effects.
| jscipione wrote:
| I just wish it had no notch.
| tomxor wrote:
| I'm sure they could add a no-notch option (for $200).
| pmcollins wrote:
| I put the power button at the top so that I don't accidentally
| take a screenshot when I want to change the volume. Somebody
| please give me a design job at Apple.
|
| I still don't understand why Apple moved the power button to the
| side opposite the volume buttons.
| plugin-baby wrote:
| Engagement with the screenshot function has really improved
| since that button was moved, and someone somewhere got a nice
| promotion.
| cafed00d wrote:
| If this were Google where PMs ran feature development willy-
| nilly, then I bet this would've been true. Luckily, Apple's
| design team still has enough pull; so the MBAs haven't taken
| over everything.
| xadhominemx wrote:
| It's really funny you think the MBAs have less sway at
| Apple than Google. Apple is a penny-pinching company
| literally run by a supply chain exec with a Duke MBA.
| Google is a freewheeling engineer-led culture with zero
| interest in cost control.
| solardev wrote:
| Can it be both? The engineers create a new chat app every
| year, then the MBAs take it over next year and "optimize"
| it into the ground and all the engineers flee, but that's
| ok because the cycle will repeat shortly.
| ckolkey wrote:
| All. The. Time.
| franl wrote:
| Probably because phones are massive now, and the side is the
| only place the power button can be pressed while holding the
| phone with one hand.
| bnt wrote:
| But you only need to "power" it once in like a month. You
| "turn it on" by tapping the screen. You "turn it off" by
| putting it aside or in your pocket. Power button on the side
| is a weird choice.
| xylophonermore wrote:
| causes me aggravation every day
| kbouck wrote:
| ... or inadvertently turn off your phone while intending to
| take a picture
| whywhywhywhy wrote:
| My photo library has hundreds of screenshots of alarms going
| off because every time i pick it up to turn the alarm off half
| asleep I take a screenshot
| [deleted]
| layer8 wrote:
| I switch my phone off 20% of the time I want to take a picture.
| stavros wrote:
| Aren't the power and volume buttons switched there? The long
| one is volume, no?
| hugi wrote:
| Heh. Incidentally I just finished my weekly "delete all the
| accidental screenshots" session.
| patientplatypus wrote:
| iso1631 wrote:
| Shut up and take my money
|
| Seriously, power, volume, silencer, lightning, 3.5mm jack, home
| button on the back for touch-id, what more do you want (well
| maybe usb-c instead of lightning)
| SergeAx wrote:
| No USB-C, like I thought.
| tomcam wrote:
| SHARE BUTTON PLZ
| preinheimer wrote:
| That was fun. Just like the TLD.
|
| More of this internet please.
| hk__2 wrote:
| There are a lot of similar games on the same website:
| https://neal.fun/
| aaaaaaaaata wrote:
| "Draw popular logos" was a laugh.
|
| Post the code so someone can put a score to it!
| uncharted9 wrote:
| I was trying hard to search ways to share the video and found out
| that the "Download video" button is only visible in Chrome or
| Safari and not Firefox. I love everything about Neal's site but I
| wish supporting the three major web browser engines shouldn't be
| the big deal. I've seen the writing on the wall now and I should
| probably jump ships off FF to anything based on chromium.
| icemelt8 wrote:
| How can i down vote
| uncharted9 wrote:
| grzm wrote:
| You need karma > 500.
| londons_explore wrote:
| Here we vote based on whether the comment _adds anything to
| the discussion_ , not whether you agree with it.
| lxe wrote:
| Everything from Neal Agrawal brings much-needed whimsy into the
| world.
| erikig wrote:
| I have spent so much time on https://neal.fun/rocks/ that I
| should be a little embarrassed, yet I'm so calm and I've had so
| much fun, I'm not.
| insane_dreamer wrote:
| Definitely bringing back the iPod-style click-wheel
| seydor wrote:
| Great! How do I print it?
| thenthenthen wrote:
| Like kicad plot, bom, gerbers, drill holes, i agree!
| DelaneyM wrote:
| Am I the only one who opened the tool and thought: "this, this is
| perfect, add nothing!"?
|
| Why isn't there a phone yet with no ports or power plugs of any
| kind (wireless charging and software power/reset), flush rear
| camera, hidden front camera?
|
| It feels like that's the inevitable end of the current
| evolutionary tree, and all the technology is there and reasonably
| economical.
| dmitrygr wrote:
| > software power/reset
|
| And if your software hangs? Hard buttons are a nice safety.
| Even one can be wired to some simple microcontroller that'll
| power cycle the entire device is held for 30 sec or some such
| thing. Doing it via a much more complex interface (touch, etc)
| isn't as foolproof
| WithinReason wrote:
| Meizu Zero
| adolph wrote:
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IPod_Shuffle#3rd_generation
|
| (which somehow had a 3.5mm audio jack...)
| zw123456 wrote:
| I posted that farther down in the thread. Yes, I thought the
| same thing.
|
| Sorry for the repetition, but this is a little dream of mine.
|
| I have an experimental cloud phone that has no CPU and uses an
| FPGA to directly transfer data from a VM in the cloud to the
| screen. It works, even on 4G but better on 5G. Also, I have
| been experimenting with transparent OLED.
|
| My dream would be a device completely cloud based, and hence,
| unlimited processing and storage. The back of the transparent
| display would be optical sensors and it would use computational
| imaging in the cloud, no lenses needed. The audio who knows,
| MEMS I suppose.
|
| it would look like just a simple pane of glass
| lostgame wrote:
| Absolute nightmare fuel. I would pay a lot to never have a
| device like this.
|
| I want more control over my hardware and software, not less.
| I want less connection to or dependence on any sort of
| 'cloud'.
|
| Give me liberty or give me a dumbphone.
| zw123456 wrote:
| Hmm, ok, fair enough.
|
| good feedback. TY
| donkarma wrote:
| that sounds absolutely horrid, imagine scrolling and then
| your display jumps to 200ms or your cloud provider drops you
| and your phone is bricked
| zw123456 wrote:
| Ah no, not with edge compute, think MEC. Nope, I have a
| test VM on wavelength, under 4ms over 5G :)
| SllX wrote:
| If we're lucky, literally never on some of that without the
| technology being vastly superior to what we have today. What's
| possible and what's good aren't always the same thing.
| bambam24 wrote:
| jsight wrote:
| Where's the button to make it unapologetically polycarbonate?
| factorialboy wrote:
| Where USB-C?
| brk wrote:
| You can add a rotary dial, copter blades, and wheels. But a
| USB-C is too silly even for a parody, that is just taking it
| too far.
| function_seven wrote:
| Pull Request:
|
| Add more items to the feature palette: USB-C (TB3), USB-C
| (DP2.0), USB-C (PD), USB-C (TB & DP2, no PD), USB-C (DP2 and
| PD, no TB), USB-C (HDMI)
|
| Only one graphic/model needed for all of them, so this PR
| should be easy.
| Ayesh wrote:
| Glimpsing at the fun and goofy Internet we missed,
| dwaite wrote:
| I put a headphone jack -into- the notch.
|
| I don't even know what to complain about now.
| husam212 wrote:
| Apple iPlay? https://imgur.com/a/UsDYp7i
| ajaimk wrote:
| Jony Ive is tossing in his grave
| teucris wrote:
| I love how there is a copter blade and a rotary dial but no USB
| options of any kind.
| travisgriggs wrote:
| I wish the "Present" feature would make my copter blades slowly
| rotate. But it's all genius.
| tomjakubowski wrote:
| The reflected background is oddly familiar, almost blissful...
| smoldesu wrote:
| Is the joke that they came up with 18 useless features without
| mentioning USB-C?
| 88840-8855 wrote:
| How is a based 90s antenna a joke to you?
|
| I would take it anytime over some weird USB-C!
| KMnO4 wrote:
| I used to have a phone which allowed me to plug an external
| antenna into the USB port.
|
| I _sorely_ miss that.
| alanbernstein wrote:
| Moto g phones used headphone cables as FM antennas. Not
| sure if they still do though.
| lkois wrote:
| And why is it called USB C anyway? It's not shaped like a C
| at all!
| incahoots wrote:
| It's 2 Cs touching each other!
| travisgriggs wrote:
| Easy there. Kids may read this.
| can16358p wrote:
| Useless? I use the quadcopter features of my iPhone everyday
| after driving home... with iPhone's steering wheel.
| smoldesu wrote:
| I didn't mean to offend anyone, I don't even know how you're
| supposed to take the thing with you without the Pro Handle.
| Just wish there was a good way to plug it into my other
| devices...
| slimsag wrote:
| That's fair, but you have to admit - the triple headphone
| jack, side-facing cameras, and dual power buttons (for 2x
| the power) were nice touches.
| can16358p wrote:
| Add an Apple logo middle of the screen and it will connect
| to all Apple devices magically using dark witchcraft. Add
| an Android logo and boom, you now connect to almost all
| smartphones. Whatever you do... do not touch the pear logo.
| tomxor wrote:
| I'll stick to the old pulse dialing tech on mine:
|
| https://imgur.com/a/0I8Ng0s
| drooopy wrote:
| Wow. Tons of Courage(tm) on this one
| khazhoux wrote:
| _Take my money!_
| habi wrote:
| Lost it at 'steering wheel'. Very funny!
| swyx wrote:
| i was so delighted to find it has a video export but Twitter is
| not letting me tweet the video - as far as i can tell this fits
| under all their requirements - anyone else have the same problem?
|
| Edit: ah you just have to run it through one of these things
| https://clideo.com/editor/resize-video
| w_for_wumbo wrote:
| If you click present, is that the Apple HQ in the reflection?
| wingmanjd wrote:
| I think the volume and power button labels are reversed.
| mulmen wrote:
| I put the volume and power buttons on the same side but then made
| sure to put the cupholder just under them so you can have a
| picture of every instant you hit a pothole.
|
| In a future version of iOS Apple will share your iCloud photo
| library with your municipal road department. They can correlate
| these screenshots to dispatch repair crews. I'm sure this
| protects children somehow.
|
| A Pro Handle would actually be pretty nice though, especially if
| it could be stowed like the antenna.
| walterbell wrote:
| Excellent imagineering :)
|
| Please add kill switches for radios (WiFi, cellular, BT, UWB),
| microphones and cameras (rear, front, FaceID IR strobe).
| joshstrange wrote:
| At first I thought this was kind of "meh" but then I clicked over
| on the "components" list at the bottom. Dear god, I just spent
| the last 5 minutes giggling and adding absurd things to the
| phone. I absolutely love this.
| rconti wrote:
| Once I figured out I could drag and rotate, it started making
| more sense!
| mihaaly wrote:
| "adding absurd things to the phone"
|
| That's how Apple does it, good job!
| pathartl wrote:
| I would love to see price tags added to them as well. Wheels?
| $100. Handle? $50. Pro handle? $1000.
|
| Edit: It does update price, but I'd like an itemized list
| spaceman_2020 wrote:
| My new iPhone 14 has an antenna AND a steering wheel.
| sdflhasjd wrote:
| Slap the lighting port in the middle of the screen, so you
| can't use it while charging.
| bongobingo1 wrote:
| We've been thinking hard about how we all navigate our
| expanding digital lives, and we at Apple think the greatest
| breakthroughs can only occur when we really take time to sit,
| consider and recharge. In 2017 we introduced Screen Time, a
| revolutionary way to track your digital usage, putting you in
| control. This year, we're going one step further and we're
| excited to announce Recharge Time, only for iPhone 15.
| samstave wrote:
| Hey Tim Apple,
|
| You still owe me a fn Macbook Pro because my "recharge
| time" included my machine bursting into flames on my bed,
| and the machine was under recall for bursting into flames,
| and you refused to replace the machine that burst into
| flames as stated by the recall, and nearly killed me, could
| have burned down a house, because of the "moisture sensor"
|
| What say you, Tim Apple?
| dkonofalski wrote:
| He says nothing. He's not reading this.
| samstave wrote:
| I did not say this. I am not here.
|
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYnF17oKutQ
|
| Tim Apple in the Eye Phone 9000
| dkonofalski wrote:
| You are a sad, strange little man and you have my pity...
| samstave wrote:
| I appropriate the complimentary commentary.
| iso1631 wrote:
| Surely if the moisture sensor was on that would have put
| out the fire?
| samstave wrote:
| Ill just put this next to the rest of the fire.
|
| https://i.imgur.com/CbCYs0d.jpg
| simonh wrote:
| You were holding it wrong.
| hk__2 wrote:
| Obligatory xkcd: https://xkcd.com/1172/
| IncRnd wrote:
| Tim, would you please make sure the right people approve my
| app? I just sent for approval a wicked cool app that makes
| old phones new. And, as we know every old phone is a new
| phone about to be purchased - wink, wink!
|
| So, here is the app I am introducing for August 2022 - Down
| Time, only for new iPhones. Down Time monitors all phone
| inputs, sensors, and the like - all when the phone is
| "down". This allows the Powerful Apple Silicon inside the
| iPhone on your desk to generate ML heuristics that map how
| the phone is used when it is not being used - when it is
| turned off, charging, left in the car, etc. Of course, the
| next step is to create local SMS messages and notifications
| that illustrate which of my other apps in the store will
| make the phone function better. If none of my apps will run
| on a phone, I create a red, warning hazard of a
| notification that says a NEW iPhone must be purchased to
| continue using this family of apps. It's a WIN-WIN, Tim.
| Please get this approved right quick!
| nazka wrote:
| I need a PDF with all the templates of the ways of Apple of
| saying things.
| Wistar wrote:
| I put the front camera in the middle of the screen for the
| whole eye contact thing.
| arcticbull wrote:
| I turned mine into a skatboard for hamsters with 4 pro wheels
| valued at $600.
| messe wrote:
| *right in the middle of the click wheel.
| zimpenfish wrote:
| _laughs hysterically in Garmin Fenix_
| Shebanator wrote:
| The thing I thought was hilarious is that they put in a
| zillion funny gadgets, but you can't get a USB-C port instead
| of that godawful Lightning port.
| bombcar wrote:
| Charging over hdmi is better anyway.
| roozbeh18 wrote:
| dont let me stop you https://imgur.com/a/1v1emWj
| geoffeg wrote:
| Apple Magic Mouse style!
| noSyncCloud wrote:
| Two lightning ports on the screen, so you can charge and
| listen to music with your audiophile IEMs at the same time
| Teknoman117 wrote:
| Now presenting the iPhone "oops all cameras"
| SllX wrote:
| Oh. So. Oops.
| ant6n wrote:
| Yeah, I love how this silently escalates more and more.
| squeaky-clean wrote:
| I only wish you could attach things to other attachments. My
| Pro Handle needs a cupholder attached to it.
| layer8 wrote:
| I mustered the courage to add two headphone jacks ($200 a pop).
| grishka wrote:
| How much the first iMac was? It must've been $600 for just
| the headphone jacks.
| tomxor wrote:
| > $200 a pop
|
| To make up for the losses in revenue from bluetooth earphones
| I assume ;)
| pjerem wrote:
| O boy, so, no space left for a battery with all those jacks.
| That must be the brand new iPhone(TETHERED)
| russellbeattie wrote:
| Googly eyes!! I never realized how important googly eyes are.
| They make everything more user friendly.
|
| They should definitely be an FCC requirement.
| spillguard wrote:
| Agreed! My only complaint with this webapp is that the Googly
| eyes don't jiggle when you rotate the phone.
| cosmojg wrote:
| They even allow you to add something called a "headphone jack"!
| Isn't that hilarious? What an antiquated absurdity! A rotary
| dial makes more sense on a phone these days.
| A4ET8a8uTh0 wrote:
| The 'pro handle' moment. I genuinely needed this pick up today.
| quickthrower2 wrote:
| Feature request: allow another degree of rotation so that we can
| see the google-y eyes roll. Also: xeyes please.
| imwillofficial wrote:
| My iPhone had a centerline antenna, googly eyes and a click
| wheel.
|
| I can now die in peace, all is right with the world.
| neilv wrote:
| No other industrial design affordance says "you're holding it
| wrong" like spinning blades.
| quickthrower2 wrote:
| "You were holding it wrong"
| dimitrios1 wrote:
| How many of us added a border of notches around the entire phone
| and filled the backside with cameras? Or was that just me?
| racl101 wrote:
| Need a cupholder component.
| crazygringo wrote:
| Keep scrolling. It's there.
| tomxor wrote:
| Oh, I thought that was a hanger for the receiver:
|
| https://imgur.com/a/0I8Ng0s
| racl101 wrote:
| holy sh t!
| h2odragon wrote:
| Every phone needs googly eyes.
| schainks wrote:
| Please update this with a mini-usb port or firewire port, just to
| troll.
| function_seven wrote:
| I would like to have a DB-25 serial port on my phone, but I'm
| willing to compromise. Give me a 9-pin and I'll grudgingly
| carry around an adapter.
| amlib wrote:
| A GPIO header will do
| cosmiccatnap wrote:
| Even in a fantasy I can't get usbc
| [deleted]
| antioppressor wrote:
| No wonder the design head was axed. The phone is like a Porsche.
| Looks the same since its inception. They are in constant angst
| mode about the looks, ooh what will happen if we make drastical
| changes... so it will stay and look the same. They don't want to
| disturb the cash cow.
|
| But of course it gets pricier year after year.
|
| Design iterations and UI is something like this: Look we've
| changed the window's bezel by 1 and a half pixels, now it's much
| better. 3 generations later: we changed it back the way it was,
| retro style, wow! Now everyone APPLAUD the CHANGES and hand over
| the money!
| modeless wrote:
| The best joke is that it doesn't have USB-C.
| lizardactivist wrote:
| Haven't had time to try it yet, but please tell me you also get a
| video of Jonathan Ive crying and talking about it when you press
| "Present"?
| johndhi wrote:
| Tim Cook jumping on screen killed me
| kretaceous wrote:
| This is so lame. Apple would never allow a 3.5mm jack even in a
| parody app.
|
| (j/k, fun stuff as always by Neal)
| seydor wrote:
| Winter is coming here in Europe. Having a phone with FM
| receiver is going to be very useful.
| aaaaaaaaata wrote:
| Ah c'mon, don't do that, we were just starting to enjoy
| ourselves in here!
| seydor wrote:
| a few power cuts is not the end of the world
| roozbeh18 wrote:
| say no more https://imgur.com/a/1v1emWj
| seydor wrote:
| Very nice. Mine includes a crown wheel for winding
| https://i.imgur.com/1iYysR6.png
| webscalist wrote:
| https://i.imgur.com/HqGuK3j.jpg
| aliljet wrote:
| This is really a cool little interface. How was this made! I want
| to learn!
| rabuse wrote:
| It's made with three.js
| imd_xyz wrote:
| Only thing I'd change is moving the volume buttons to the right
| side with the power button. The number of times I've taken a
| screenshot trying to un/lock with my left index finger is
| astronomically high.
|
| And USB-C.
| closetohome wrote:
| Or putting the power button back on the top. Or going back to
| the iPhone 5's round volume buttons.
|
| Both the placement and shape of the buttons leads to accidental
| presses and the inability to easily identify them by feel.
| Almost anything would be an improvement.
| mulmen wrote:
| Also try actually using the level.
| ClassyJacket wrote:
| Fantastic! But it's missing the most important thing: USB-C
| cgriswald wrote:
| First thing I looked for and I laughed when it wasn't available
| but there was a pro handle.
| april_22 wrote:
| The European Union will force Apple to ship iPhones with USB-C
| from 2024.
|
| https://you.com/search?q=eu+usb+c+law
|
| My guess is that they will remove all ports by then and
| completely switch to MagSafe
| xavdid wrote:
| > My guess is that they will remove all ports by then and
| completely switch to MagSafe
|
| I've heard this repeated a lot and just don't get it. It
| doesn't make any sense to me from a product perspective-
| removing the port doesn't seem to get them anything. It's
| already pretty waterproof, it's already pretty slim (and I
| don't think the port is the limiting factor there anyway). I
| just don't get the upside. One could argue that they'll sell
| a _lot_ of magsafe accessories, but pucks don't don't provide
| the same flexibility as cords and they must know that.
|
| Anyway, I've got a $100 bet with a friend going (placed Nov
| 2020): I think _a_ port will stay, and he thinks it'll be
| portless by the 2023. We'll see who's right!
| YetAnotherNick wrote:
| That would be hilarious.
| srg0 wrote:
| They may also find another loophole: like make iPhone thinner
| than USB C, or certify it as a health tracker, or increase
| charging rate to 101 W. That technically moves iPhone into
| the laptop territory, and different regulations apply.
|
| "Included devices: a larger range of small and medium-sized
| devices with power delivery up to 100 watts would be included
| under the scope of the directive, including e-readers, low-
| powered laptops, keyboards, mice, earbuds, screens, printers,
| portable navigations, smart watches, personal care devices
| and electronic toys (annex Ia Part I RED). Some products,
| such as smart watches, health trackers and personal care
| devices, could be exempted if they are too small to have a
| USB Type-C receptacle. By the end of 2026, the Commission
| would be required to assess and include other devices that
| can be charged with the USB Type-C under the scope of the
| directive."
|
| https://www.europarl.europa.eu/RegData/etudes/BRIE/2021/6988.
| ..
| sgjohnson wrote:
| There is no way Lightning can deliver 101W, so for that one
| they would need to change the port anyway.
| airstrike wrote:
| Easy. Call it Lightning Pro, with chargers starting at
| $99. Not included in the box, but you don't need it
| anyway because they already give you magsafe
| airstrike wrote:
| That would take a ton of courage
| Cort3z wrote:
| I second this. You can already develop on iPhone via Wi-Fi,
| so you don't strictly speaking need to have ports any more.
| grishka wrote:
| Should be USB-B, the kind you see on printers.
| quickthrower2 wrote:
| Ok, stuff it! lets just use a kettle cord
| iso1631 wrote:
| Beats mini and micro
| OrvalWintermute wrote:
| And the 3.5mm Audio
| erikig wrote:
| pfft - 3.5mm is for amateurs, the iPhone Pro Max should have
| XLR or 1/4in at least ;)
| WUMBOWUMBO wrote:
| TazeTSchnitzel wrote:
| Headphone jack is in the components list, keep scrolling!
| CameronNemo wrote:
| Even in our imagination our iPhones don't have USB-C!
| mortenjorck wrote:
| There is one part that does exist on real iPhones but isn't
| in the parts palette: a speaker grille. Even with Pro Wheels
| and a Pro Handle, your breakthrough iPhone will be silent!
| (Unless you send audio out one of the broad selection of
| ports available.)
| pjerem wrote:
| Speakers ? That's what HomePod minis are for !
| Retr0id wrote:
| The one in my pocket does
| https://twitter.com/David3141593/status/1549525065116573696
| orangepanda wrote:
| Allowing anything useful would subtract from the joke
| matt_heimer wrote:
| This makes me wonder if someone will ever add front facing
| cameras to every side of a phone to support taking photo sphere
| pictures in a single click.
| pwpw wrote:
| This is a great use for three.js. I've been actively learning it
| and am excited to see it in the wild.
| rchaud wrote:
| Now THIS is creative!
|
| This is both just really impressive and futuristic feeling from a
| tech perspective. Works perfectly in Firefox! Can't believe that
| has to be said these days.
|
| And from a FUN and creative perspective the possibilities are
| endless. I'm reminded of the Simpsons where Homer designs a car
| and it's an impracticable monstrosity. I just added a full HDMI
| port to the iPhone, so I feel like I'm halfway there!
|
| Really well done!
| monopoliessuck wrote:
| Perfectly?
|
| There's no "download video" button on Firefox, but there is one
| on Chrome. Looks like the minified source is checking the
| userAgent in a few spots. I don't know if that's genuinely an
| issue with Firefox's canvas to mp4 support or something, but
| it's not completely one to one unfortunately.
|
| I agree though, it is creative and entertaining regardless.
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(page generated 2022-08-23 23:00 UTC)