[HN Gopher] Email Is Async
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Email Is Async
        
       Author : mooreds
       Score  : 102 points
       Date   : 2022-08-15 11:41 UTC (11 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.patkua.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.patkua.com)
        
       | axg11 wrote:
       | I've never met a manager that has expectations for email replies
       | on weekends or frankly <24hr replies during the working week. At
       | all the places I've worked (startups and FAANG), emails are
       | treated as a slow communication medium.
       | 
       | I think chat/Slack should be a bigger focus as it's a greater
       | source of anxiety. The issue with messaging is that it's a mixed
       | stream of both sync and async.
       | 
       | Sync: "Hey - can we have a quick chat?" - requires ~immediate
       | response
       | 
       | Async: "When you get a chance can you update XYZ, not urgent" -
       | doesn't require a response
       | 
       | Distinguishing messages as urgent vs. non-urgent (no
       | notification) _could_ alleviate some of this issue, but it's
       | ultimately a culture issue, not a tech issue. Half of the people
       | I've worked with won't even use threads in Slack. Good luck
       | getting people to use different message levels.
        
         | ryukafalz wrote:
         | > Distinguishing messages as urgent vs. non-urgent (no
         | notification) _could_ alleviate some of this issue, but it's
         | ultimately a culture issue, not a tech issue.
         | 
         | I think drawing a hard distinction between culture issues and
         | tech issues is a mistake. Tech influences culture and vice-
         | versa.
         | 
         | The fact that Slack saves the full message history is great for
         | being able to refer back to previous discussions, but the fact
         | that the history view of every joined channel is the _default
         | interface_ encourages this sort of asynchronous messaging.
         | 
         | IRC was closer to synchronous in that you could leave channels
         | but retain permission to rejoin them. So you ended up with a
         | sort of split in the culture because it supported two different
         | usage patterns; some people would use a bouncer and idle in
         | every channel (this is basically Slack), while some people
         | would connect and join only the channels they wanted to be in
         | at the time (unsupported by Slack). And of course there are
         | levels in between those two.
         | 
         | MUDs could be considered the option that's fully at the latter
         | end of that spectrum. You may go AFK and idle, but you're only
         | ever idling in _one room_ , and it's often made clear if you're
         | AFK or not in the interface. The result is that for synchronous
         | chat, there's one single place to pay attention to: the room
         | that you're in. (Whispers are supported but they typically show
         | up in-line as a message.) For asynchronous chat, there's a
         | separate mail system (which often forwards messages to your
         | email address as well). The two are distinct in the UI.
         | 
         | I think MUDs got the sync/async distinction right in a way that
         | modern chat apps don't.
        
         | dheera wrote:
         | What sucks is when "quick chat" is a 2 hour meeting about how
         | to do something that's impossible.
        
           | hammyhavoc wrote:
           | Followed by "can you send me an email summarizing this
           | meeting?" because they've taken none of it onboard, and took
           | zero notes, nor recorded anything.
        
         | Telemakhos wrote:
         | I've had such a manager. Her policy was that, during working
         | hours, all staff should reply to managers' emails within an
         | hour, if for no other reason than to acknowledge receipt and
         | promise a lengthier response later. Staff would respond to
         | external emails or colleagues' emails by the close of play; as
         | with managers, it was acceptable to reply briefly to
         | acknowledge receipt and return a real answer the next day.
         | Managers, for their part, responded to the rest of staff within
         | an hour as well. She was firm, but this worked out very well
         | for all of us, and I continue following her policy in my new
         | job elsewhere. My new boss loves me for it, because he knows
         | I've at least read whatever he's requested.
        
         | AndrewKemendo wrote:
         | The distinguished idea is used fairly regularly, however unless
         | executed extremely well, it doesn't take long to have it get
         | out of hand.
         | 
         | A perfect example of this was back in the mid-00's in the US
         | military. Often we would get emails with the subject:
         | 
         | HOT [Subject]
         | 
         | Which over the years turned into something like:
         | 
         | * _HOT*_ TIME SENSITIVE** [Subject]
         | 
         | I can't even imagine what it's evolved into now.
        
           | DiggyJohnson wrote:
           | $*.final.02.FINAL.docx
           | 
           | vibes for sure.
        
         | yitchelle wrote:
         | In my simple understanding, Synchronous and Asynchronous
         | messaging comes down the sequencing of sender and receiver
         | messages, it is not a matter of timing, right?
        
         | mbesto wrote:
         | > Async: "When you get a chance can you update XYZ, not urgent"
         | - doesn't require a response
         | 
         | For common tasks this should be in a system then. Otherwise
         | this is essentially the major pitfall of chat. IMHO anyone
         | using Slack for async is doing it wrong.
        
       | VLM wrote:
       | Technical users will have no problem, but for non-technical users
       | email it is easier to do permanent record keeping and documented
       | CYA. Non-technical users puzzle over how to document a text
       | message in writing or how to permanently store and document a
       | slack/irc type chat. Screenshots that are printed out on paper
       | and scanned into a .pdf? I've seen things like that.
       | 
       | For a lot of situations the benefit of electronic communications
       | is CYA and permanent record keeping, not speed or ability to
       | notify 24/7 around the world.
       | 
       | "As you can see by the forwarded email chain below, I emailed ops
       | about the backup process being broken a month ago, then reminded
       | them two weeks later, then escalated the ticket after a month,
       | and still have not heard anything back, as you know SOX
       | compliance requires that we actually keep that data, so given the
       | complete lack of communication over the last month, I'm curious
       | if you know of an ETA to repair the backup process or if we
       | should implement a local non-IT supported solution for backups of
       | SOX compliance data, and if so how would that local process
       | interoperate with existing documented security policies such as
       | PCI-DSS and related requirements?" At least if it comes to a
       | court case I won't be the one blamed, LOL. This is how business
       | gets done at large companies, if someone can't get blamed
       | individually, it ain't getting done.
        
         | Jensson wrote:
         | Google started deleting old emails, big companies seems to see
         | record keeping as a liability so it is important for them to
         | control this infrastructure so that no inconvenient messages
         | remains in the system when the inevitable lawsuits comes.
        
           | Alex3917 wrote:
           | Most big companies started retaining email indefinitely after
           | the Monica Lewinsky scandal, and then started automatically
           | deleting it after the Sony hack. I would expect the balance
           | of whether to retain or delete email to continue to change
           | every decade or so based on what's the least cheapest given
           | the current security threat landscape and legal situation.
           | (The exception being financial firms and other companies in
           | highly regulated industries, which are still required to
           | retain all communication.)
        
         | twobitshifter wrote:
         | It sounds you see it as more CYA for employees than employers?
         | That's probably true. The companies I've worked at have deleted
         | old emails rather than keep a record of all conversations, so
         | that material doesn't show up lawsuits. When someone leaves the
         | company, all their emails are deleted.
        
           | VLM wrote:
           | Its not just employee vs employer but at large enough
           | corporations most effort is spent on infighting between
           | departments.
        
           | Wohlf wrote:
           | Employers don't need CYA as much, they can afford lawyers and
           | write the internal policies.
        
         | ajross wrote:
         | > For a lot of situations the benefit of electronic
         | communications is CYA and permanent record keeping
         | 
         | Note that in a lot of industries, "permanent record keeping" is
         | a regulatory requirement, it's not just politics. The culture
         | of general employee communications being ejectable ephemera is
         | somewhat unique to the US tech industry.
        
         | pkulak wrote:
         | That sounds perfectly async to me.
        
         | sorokod wrote:
         | I find it helpful to think of my emails as documentation.
         | Imagining myself figuring something out months or even years
         | later changes the way I write.
        
           | [deleted]
        
         | skrebbel wrote:
         | Apparently CYA is short for "Cover Your Ass".
        
         | horsawlarway wrote:
         | There's some painful truth in this comment.
         | 
         | Not to mention - email is very easy to branch in order to more
         | safely secure that record. If IT owns the email server, and IT
         | is fucking up... very easy to BCC/Forward a copy of the whole
         | chain to my personal email for my own records.
        
           | k0k0r0 wrote:
           | I don't know much about that Email and legal stuff, but here
           | in Germany I pay a couple of Euros every month to a well-
           | known and respected company whose server is set up in such a
           | way that my emails can be used in court without any issue
           | (like claims that I altered the emails after receiving them).
           | At least they claim that and I do believe them. I do not
           | (yet) have a business, but I use it nevertheless. Just in
           | case.
        
             | devmunchies wrote:
             | > but here in Germany I pay a couple of Euros every month
             | to a well-known and respected company whose server is set
             | up in such a way that my emails can be used in court
             | without any issue (like claims that I altered the emails
             | after receiving them)
             | 
             | That's already cryptographically built into email with
             | DKIM. An email message is signed with a private key, and
             | can be verified as authentic by the receiver using the
             | public key in the sender's DNS records.
             | 
             | Click on "Show Original" in a Gmail mail to see the meta
             | data.
             | 
             | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DomainKeys_Identified_Mail
        
               | woodruffw wrote:
               | While this is _technically_ true, it 's not a correct use
               | of DKIM: DKIM is meant to provide authenticity for the
               | receiving mail server (by verifying the message against a
               | key associated with the sending server), not
               | _nonrepudiation_ for the sending user.
               | 
               | Many email providers historically used short keys (RSA
               | <512, and later 1024) for DKIM, meaning that lots of
               | emails circa 2012 and older _appear_ to be nonrepudiable
               | but in fact are.
               | 
               | Long-term authenticity of emails is very difficult and is
               | arguably an anti-feature; Matt Green correctly
               | observes[1] that Google should be rotating and publishing
               | its DKIM keys regularly to prevent people from falsely
               | concluding that a DKIM signature is "proof" of a
               | message's authenticity.
               | 
               | [1]:
               | https://blog.cryptographyengineering.com/2020/11/16/ok-
               | googl...
        
             | mytailorisrich wrote:
             | I belive that emails can be used in court without any
             | specific setup within most EU jurisdictions or EU overall.
        
         | belfalas wrote:
         | Willie Brown, once the mayor of San Francisco, had this to say
         | about e-mail: the 'e' is for "evidence."
        
       | v1l wrote:
       | Sometimes it feels like people talk about this sync/async issue
       | in a vacuum. But often there is a real need to get a response
       | from the recipient in a timely manner. You can't just sit around
       | twiddling your thumbs waiting for a response hours later because
       | until then you might be blocked.
       | 
       | It isn't just the big things that could block you. A small piece
       | of feedback, an opinion on a design decision, a review of your
       | approach etc all require relatively quick and synchronous
       | responses or you end up in multi-hour or multi-day long chain of
       | async discussions. Business can't move at that speed.
        
         | lolsal wrote:
         | > It isn't just the big things that could block you. A small
         | piece of feedback, an opinion on a design decision, a review of
         | your approach etc all require relatively quick and synchronous
         | responses or you end up in multi-hour or multi-day long chain
         | of async discussions. Business can't move at that speed.
         | 
         | In my experience, the folks that ask for immediate feedback on
         | those kinds of things are the kinds of folks that don't
         | understand they are often not small or relatively quick things.
         | Often they aren't accounting for the cognitive cost of context
         | switching.
        
       | lisper wrote:
       | It is unfortunate that the communications _mode_ has been bound
       | by convention to the _medium_. It should be bound to the
       | _message_. The urgency of a message should be metadata associated
       | with the message _content_ regardless of the medium through with
       | the message is transmitted and the client used to view it. How
       | and when the content is delivered to a user should be a function
       | of this urgency annotation and the trustworthiness of the sender.
       | Someone who cold-calls you with an urgent communication is almost
       | certainly a spammer.
       | 
       | Of course, this will never happen, but a boy can dream.
        
       | ptero wrote:
       | Treating email or slack or any other not explicitly sync channel
       | as sync is often a self-inflicted wound. I think management is
       | _sometimes_ guilty of pushing this, but it is usually an employee
       | who runs with some self-imposed requirement of  "I must be
       | checking email on weekends" or some such and drives himself into
       | a "sync hell". And entrenches the misconception.
       | 
       | Good management has no desire to burn out their employees for
       | some nervous and useless message checks instead of a good rest.
       | My 2c.
        
       | fleddr wrote:
       | Pretty good guidance, could be extended with a step 8 and 9.
       | 
       | Step 8: emails that shouldn't be emails. For example, asking for
       | a status update, whilst you have a status management system
       | already in place. Complicated cross-department discussions being
       | handled over email. And so on.
       | 
       | Step 9: optimizing the content of emails. Making sure they are
       | relevant and actionable, indicate priority, give suitable
       | context.
       | 
       | Personally, I find meeting optimization way more important
       | though. Meetings destroy productivity. Even if you're a non-
       | leader and have 3 or so meetings in a day, you have very little
       | uninterrupted time, and the time blocks in between you'll
       | probably spent on emails and chat or recovering from the meeting.
       | 
       | I find it puzzling how lax corporate management is in allowing
       | every employee's calendar to fill up with meetings. Or maybe it's
       | not that puzzling as they're often the source of the problem :)
        
         | steveBK123 wrote:
         | People need to learn the BLUF form of email.
         | 
         | Further - management, who demands KPIs/dashboards/etc, should
         | learn to actually use them rather than pinging people for
         | status.
         | 
         | The other death loop I've gotten in with new(er) managers is
         | that they want "a weekly status report" and are very (VERY)
         | fussy about the content, however they 1) never show you an
         | example "good" one (assuming they must send one to their
         | manager.. or not?) and 2) just iterate painfully over
         | months&months where the only feedback is re: more tweaks to the
         | format of the report (mostly in the negative form of dislike,
         | rather than pointing in the direction of what they want)
         | 
         | Usually this incentivizes me to send fewer and terser status
         | reports & focus on delivery. If no report format is ever good
         | enough.. why waste time on it vs just getting tasks done that
         | will make users happy... which is ultimately what drives
         | compensation in the mid/long term.
        
           | mxuribe wrote:
           | Hi @steveBK123 , would you kindly define briefly what the
           | "BLUF form of email" is? I don't think I have ever heard of
           | that.
        
             | teddyh wrote:
             | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BLUF_(communication)
        
             | steveBK123 wrote:
             | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BLUF_(communication)
             | 
             | Bottom Line Up Front Lead with the summary
             | (conclusions/recommendations, decision) OR statement in a
             | single sentence what action are asking the recipient
             | 
             | Then you can follow with supporting details at increasing
             | levels of granularity
             | 
             | It inverts the usual structure because most people feel
             | compelled to give background, discuss options, offer costs-
             | benefits, go into detail, etc .. all before coming to a
             | conclusion/request about 75% down the email.
        
           | fleddr wrote:
           | When you think about this more deeply, a well working status
           | system is an existential threat to several layers of
           | management.
           | 
           | If all you do is collect metrics and reports to aggregate
           | them upwards, the value added is minimal.
           | 
           | Maybe there remains some value in exception management
           | (risks, roadblocks)? Barely so in my experience. Because
           | managers in tech have no clue what they're managing. So this
           | is again just a report which next the team should resolve on
           | their own.
        
             | steveBK123 wrote:
             | Yes, but to be fair to managers in tech - no one else
             | around them knows what they are doing either. Tech managers
             | tend to have to wear too many hats filling in gaps in the
             | product/project/program management layers and do some
             | random assortment of people management & technical
             | leadership.. depending on which firm/team and day of week.
             | 
             | For non-tech companies, you'll often see a lot of non-
             | technical stuff happening in the technical management
             | hierarchy.
             | 
             | At a high level all they care about is process, and at a
             | low level all they care about is if a stakeholder is
             | screaming right now. Nowhere in between do they care about
             | what is actually being delivered.
             | 
             | And by process I mean things like firm-wide cookie cutter
             | agile mandates, all-hands calls, OGSM, OKR, etc.
             | 
             | The last two shops I worked, the CTO spent a lots of time
             | talking to investors about Cybersecurity/Resiliency/Cloud
             | strategies, which are more attributes of a well engineered
             | system, rather than a deliverable product.
             | 
             | You wouldn't believe how many annual/quarterly CTO hosted
             | events I've attended where either a Navy SEAL or Astronaut
             | was the keynote speaker, lol.
        
       | D13Fd wrote:
       | I disagree with lumping chat in with e-mail. The whole reason for
       | chat is that it's closer to being synchronous.
       | 
       | On the spectrum:
       | 
       | Very asynchronous: Letter, E-mail
       | 
       | In between: Slack/Teams Chat, Text messages
       | 
       | Very synchronous: Call/video call, In-person meeting
        
         | mjevans wrote:
         | Did forums vanish from cognition? Though I guess newsgroups
         | also died out from common perception or get lumped with similar
         | tech (email).
         | 
         | Fully asynchronous: letter, email, newsgroups
         | 
         | In between: forums (you're reading one now), IRC, Slack/Teams
         | Chat, any other sort of text-chat server, (SMS/RCS/iChat) text
         | messages
         | 
         | Real Time: voice / video call, conference, in-person meeting
        
           | em-bee wrote:
           | forums are really just a webinterface for something that
           | works like email. email. newsgroups and forums are different
           | interfaces for the same thing.
           | 
           | hackernews is definitely asynchronous, because i don't even
           | know if i get any replies unless i search for them which i
           | don't do all the time.
        
       | sharmin123 wrote:
        
       | turnsout wrote:
       | I have two rules for email: normal response time is "within
       | 24hrs" and response rate is not 100%.
       | 
       | I'm sure some people out there just think I'm a flake because I
       | don't get back to them, or don't respond quickly enough. That's
       | the downside.
       | 
       | The upside is that my life is not controlled by email
       | notifications. Life is short.
        
       | kubatyszko wrote:
       | Oh joy of large corporations where a coworker would walk up 3
       | seconds after sending an email asking "have you seen my email?"
        
         | wildrhythms wrote:
         | Another facet of large corporations is people cluttering up
         | every single email with pointless email signatures. I always
         | wonder how much collective bandwidth, storage space,
         | electricity has/is being wasted by sending these annoying,
         | useless blocks of text back and forth.
        
       | hammyhavoc wrote:
       | Just seems like a puff-piece for their Time Management course.
       | Few on-brand graphics, Captain Obvious statements, and of course
       | a CTA.
        
       | kurupt213 wrote:
       | I think this applies to regular staff as well, not just leaders.
       | Email is not a conversation tool
        
       | silksowed wrote:
       | e in email stands for evidence, learned that the hard way. i
       | think email can be async if its culturally treated that way.
       | unfortunately too many people use it as a bad way to document
       | things. i think the wiki part of the equation needs to be
       | expanded upon, then email can even further become async
        
       | deknos wrote:
       | I just wish, people would work on open email features and fix
       | things...
       | 
       | email can still be fixed, at least for semi-open systems. but
       | noooo instead we build a myriad of other things.
       | 
       | Things to be fixed/extended:
       | 
       | * MIME * Support for SMIME/OpenPG Encryption with IMAP (like,
       | when emails come into a imap inbox they are encrypted with a
       | certain public key and signed with another, or when a email has
       | to be saved, there's a standard, that emails can be saved
       | encrypted in the inbox) * quite a few sieve extensions for more
       | filtering/action possibilities * Publishing of Mailservers from
       | whom they will/won't accept emails (or attachments) * better
       | support of markdownn (markup/mime) type in emailreaders, there's
       | even an rfc for it!
        
         | marcosdumay wrote:
         | > email can still be fixed
         | 
         | I doubt this. Email is run by people that want it dead.
         | 
         | It would be better if we replace it.
        
           | deknos wrote:
           | Email is run by a lot more people than those who want it
           | dead.
           | 
           | also: they may want it dead, but still they use it for
           | verification... so.. even they cannot kill the infrastructure
           | apparently.
        
       | p4bl0 wrote:
       | Who on earth could rationally expect emails to be synchronous
       | communication?
        
       | steveBK123 wrote:
       | Email is generally a better async tool than slack/messaging
       | because it has a generally longer response time expectation.
       | 
       | Further when composing an email you have a big open canvas, and
       | an implied workflow of writing, editing, and then finishing
       | before you hit send.
       | 
       | The workflow in slack tends to be ad-hoc, stream-of-thought, off
       | the top of head burst-of-questions. As a recipient this can be
       | incredibly disruptive. As an introvert it often strikes me that
       | even the sender doesn't quite know what they are getting at until
       | midway through.
       | 
       | Obviously email can be used just as poorly, but the built-in
       | workflow bias of the two makes this anti-pattern the default on
       | messaging platforms.
       | 
       | Further on the recipient end, it his harder to setup rules to
       | triage important senders/content away from the noise in slack
       | than it is in email.
       | 
       | Lastly, slack especially gives the sender too many tools to
       | disrupt & cause mayhem. You really only need 1 malicious user in
       | your slack org to make it extremely noisy.
       | 
       | On the email side, someone who is trying to get attention
       | generally sends 1 email with "everyone & their mother" cc'd. On
       | slack, they instead tend to drop into multiple different channels
       | & DMs to try and get attention. Each of these messages to
       | different channels/DMs may set off different threads of noise on
       | the recipient side as people are unaware of other channels/DM
       | recipients trying to address the question. Plus the ability to
       | force more attention with @user/@here/@channel, and force
       | notifications through even if recipient has them paused.
        
       | tluyben2 wrote:
       | So is text chat. Shame most people have such low attention span
       | they actually get angry when you don't answer within seconds, let
       | alone longer. I have been trying to get people to accept email
       | and chat as async for decades and for some it is natural, others
       | throw absolute fits.
        
         | jerrre wrote:
         | I don't have experience with anyone actually throwing a fit for
         | not insta-replying. But one factor is that for some people not-
         | insta-replying == never replying.
         | 
         | Email and text as async communication only works if both
         | parties actually have the processes in place to reply async.
        
         | subbz wrote:
         | It's a question of the topic. Some topics _need to be_ handled
         | synchronously. And if you don 't answer in a conversation this
         | is legitimately perceived as "rude".
        
           | lcnPylGDnU4H9OF wrote:
           | If the topic of this conversation is whether or not IM should
           | be considered synchronous, then this argument doesn't hold
           | up. If I take one side and suppose that IM should not be
           | synchronous, then obviously the mistake in your case is on
           | the individual that tried to use it for a topic that needed
           | to be synchronous. The not-responding person is not wrong in
           | that case since they're ostensibly using the method of
           | communication as intended.
        
             | ghaff wrote:
             | Part of it is that, in many cases, we've normed not calling
             | people on the phone out of the blue. And, while some may
             | disagree, we often do need some reasonably real-time
             | communication channel. Someone may not see a message
             | _instantly_ but it is reasonable to have some mechanism in
             | a business setting to generally reach people quickly--if
             | for example, there 're supposed to be someplace.
        
         | Double_a_92 wrote:
         | Because it is supposed to be faster than email. In my opinion
         | it should almost be equivalent of asking someone in real life
         | if they got time to talk.
        
         | uberchet wrote:
         | I dunno.
         | 
         | I think it's a continuum, for one thing.
         | 
         | Phone calls are clearly sync. But IM on the desktop is, in my
         | working life, much closer to sync than email.
         | 
         | I think of phone texts as attempts at unobtrusive but still
         | mostly synchronous communication.
        
           | ralphael wrote:
           | Its called "Instant Messaging" :-) So I think the expectation
           | is built into the name, even if you don't agree.
        
             | evandale wrote:
             | I would have to disagree. To me "Instant Messaging" !=
             | "Instant Answering". It's only a guarantee that the message
             | is delivered instantly.
        
               | ninju wrote:
               | And unfortunately there is an implicit expectation that
               | the reply is to be sent immediately as well.
        
               | nottorp wrote:
               | Start with disabling auto away :)
        
           | ghaff wrote:
           | Yeah. A lot of it is convention of course. But where I work,
           | Google Chat for individuals and small groups has sort of
           | developed _in general_ into a higher priority interrupt than
           | email. e.g. are you joining this scheduled call?
           | 
           | On the other hand, the group chat for a broader team I'm in
           | is more likely to be used for idle non-work-related chit
           | chat.
           | 
           | And phone calls basically aren't used at all outside of
           | scheduled meetings.
        
         | em-bee wrote:
         | when the first instant messengers came out (ICQ and i don't
         | remember what else) i was arguing that they could have used
         | SMTP as a protocol, and people got on my case that email and
         | chat would be fundamentally different and should not be mixed.
         | 
         | today i am happly using deltachat, which effectively proves my
         | point.
         | 
         | the primary difference between email and chat is threading. and
         | even that can be handled.
        
         | 71bw wrote:
         | Looking at people my age it is only gonna get worse,
         | considering how even relationships work now. Hundred years ago
         | you would be happy to recieve a written letter every month or
         | so, nowadays not responding to your partner within seconds
         | could be treated as a valid reason for breaking up...
        
           | Gigachad wrote:
           | But you would primarily live with the person or within
           | walking distance. Hundreds of years ago if you ignored your
           | partner for the whole day while living with them that would
           | probably be grounds to break up as well.
        
           | fleddr wrote:
           | A bullet dodged, I guess. But yes, norms are changing, not
           | for the better.
        
             | insightcheck wrote:
             | Yeah, the vast majority of people would see it as erratic
             | to break up with someone for not responding to a text
             | within a few seconds. It's not culture or technology that's
             | the issue, but the personality of the anxious person who
             | ask to break up over just that.
        
               | fleddr wrote:
               | I think it's both the individual personality as well as
               | growing up in an online world. I'm not an expert but I'm
               | thinking it has the power to actively rewire a person's
               | brain. If in your entire lifespan so far you do not know
               | any better than for everything to be available always and
               | instantly, that creates an entirely different creature.
        
         | hammyhavoc wrote:
         | Ah yes, the inevitable "???" after 30 seconds. Fuck my life.
        
       | kyrra wrote:
       | "focus time" calendar entry works pretty well. I set that along
       | with marking my chat status as being in focus, and then will
       | close Gmail/chat.
       | 
       | While I don't do everything in this article, I definitely do many
       | of them. Trying to treat chat and email as synchronous drove me a
       | bit crazy, so I did these things a while ago.
       | 
       | Nice to see these ideas all written down in once place.
        
       | xbar wrote:
       | 0. Email is a method for putting work onto others, or for
       | receiving work from others. Limit the amount of work you consume
       | from email to the minimum amount necessitated by your manager.
       | 
       | Corollary: If your manager necessitates that you consume
       | unbounded work from email, or that you consume work from
       | unbounded sources outside of your manager, you have an
       | ineffective manager.
        
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