[HN Gopher] The Power of Hugs in Anime, from 'Sailor Moon' to 'S...
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The Power of Hugs in Anime, from 'Sailor Moon' to 'Spirited Away'
Author : mooreds
Score : 50 points
Date : 2022-08-11 14:20 UTC (3 days ago)
(HTM) web link (www.nytimes.com)
(TXT) w3m dump (www.nytimes.com)
| rowanG077 wrote:
| Can we please ban paid sites links? It's extremely annoying. And
| encouraging piracy by putting a link into the comments that
| circumvents it is even worse.
| pineaux wrote:
| What is so bad about piracy. I like piracy. Even with my
| content of it prevents me from maling content I will stop
| making it.
| i_am_toaster wrote:
| I love piracy. Thankfully, it's existence doesn't depend on
| whether you like it or not.
| SyneRyder wrote:
| For what it's worth, the article seems free to access on mobile
| here in Australia. I'm using an Android phone with the Vivaldi
| browser. Each article prompts with an offer to subscribe to the
| NYT for $20/year or 50c/week, but that prompt is easily
| dismissed. I also have the free New York Times login account
| that increases the number of free articles you're allowed to
| read, but apparently I wasn't logged in to that anyway.
|
| Perhaps I have paywall free access because I took their "Not
| ready to subscribe? Tell us why" survey a while back?
| justsomehnguy wrote:
| No.
|
| Also I'm not quite okay with asking a 3rd party to spend
| resources on something what could be not even used.
|
| Also there is archive.ph link in a comment made 45 minutes
| before your comment.
| rowanG077 wrote:
| So instead of respecting the creators of the content you are
| linking to an unpaid link, essentially encouraging piracy?
| And then you want to lecture me on asking something of
| someone? Please...
| KronisLV wrote:
| I think paywalled links are reasonable since one should be
| able to ask for money for their work/efforts, though it would
| be helpful to disclose the fact somehow, to save a click for
| those uninterested in that media format?
|
| For example, we already have suggestions for videos and PDFs
| in the guidelines: > If you submit a video or
| pdf, please warn us by appending [video] or [pdf] to the
| title.
|
| Of course, I'm not sure what a name for that tag might be,
| [paid link] or [paywall], though those might have negative
| connotations. Just a thought.
|
| Edit: dang also linked the FAQ and previous discussion of
| paywalls above, it seems a solved question.
| dang wrote:
| This question has been settled for years on HN:
| https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10178989. If there's a
| workaround, it's ok. Users usually post workarounds in the
| thread.
|
| This is in the FAQ at https://news.ycombinator.com/newsfaq.html
| and there's more explanation here:
| https://hn.algolia.com/?dateRange=all&page=0&prefix=false&so...
|
| It's not a perfect or even particularly good solution but it's
| much better than banning all the sites with soft paywalls or
| any other solution I'm aware of.
| snvzz wrote:
| https://archive.ph/pjSUk
| Cyberdog wrote:
| This is a Tumblr post with a budget.
| Michelangelo11 wrote:
| Right, that was exactly my first impression. Thanks for putting
| it into words so well.
| jlkuester7 wrote:
| First time reading the NY Times?
| abledon wrote:
| wait till you start seeing spongebob squarepants articles in
| 5-10 years ;)
| flakiness wrote:
| Unlike Western countries like the US, hugs are not part of the
| daily postures in Japan, even between family members - Most moms
| don't hug their children in normal circumstances for example. I
| think that's part of why these Japanese anime creators treat it
| as special and magical.
| kiba wrote:
| Hugs are not really a thing in the US either.
| causality0 wrote:
| Where in the US do you live, because I've never been
| somewhere here that people don't hug.
| decremental wrote:
| That's not true. Guys who are really close friends or family
| will do the epic handshake, pull it in, quick tap on the back
| hug. Women hug all the time. It's their version of the
| handshake. Every time I meet up with women they want to hug.
| nrb wrote:
| For anyone curious, that bro hug is also known as giving
| dap, or a pound hug. Have lived in several US states and
| many major cities (NY, Chicago, SF, LA) and dap is
| universal.
| jason-phillips wrote:
| > dap
|
| Great word, that.
| ClassyJacket wrote:
| I am extremely confident you are 100% wrong
| cm2012 wrote:
| Northeast US, hugs are a standard greeting for extended
| family and close friends for the people I know.
| pfist wrote:
| I'm 38 years old and have lived in the US my entire life. I
| have lived in 5 states and visited 17. While the frequency
| does vary quite a bit from place to place, I have never been
| to a city where no one hugs; especially close family members.
| psyc wrote:
| Late 40s and I also don't know what gp means. I don't think
| "in the US" is the appropriate level of granularity for
| such a statement.
| Mizza wrote:
| Hugs are super common in California, even when meeting people
| for the first time. It freaked me out when I moved there.
|
| I don't know you, buddy, get away from me.
| CharlesW wrote:
| > _Hugs are super common in California, even when meeting
| people for the first time._
|
| My CA experience is that hugs between anyone other than
| family and close friends are rare, at least in Silicon
| Valley and San Diego. Although I imagine this varies quite
| a bit by culture.
| jason-phillips wrote:
| Well bless your heart! Come on over here and let Texas show
| you how it's done!
| t-3 wrote:
| I'm from El Paso - hugs aren't a thing in my family either.
| I get really weirded out by people that want to touch me as
| socializing.
| yakubin wrote:
| I wish I was born in such a culture. I've been trying to teach
| my father I'm not comfortable with being patted on my laps,
| back, hugged or generally needlessly touched, since I was 7 at
| least (25 now). I'm not very hopeful that will ever work. At
| least I got the little success of stopping my relatives from
| trying to kiss me on cheeks. For me such gestures are really
| reserved for intimate relationships in intimate moments.
|
| I've recently read James Clavell's Shogun and the way this book
| depicted how physical contact and intimacy was treated in Japan
| circa 1600 really resonates with how I feel about those things,
| i.e. whatever happens between two people behind close doors is
| no big deal, public nudity (devoid of sex) is no big deal, but
| casual touching, hugging, kissing with everyone at every turn
| which is so commonplace in Western cultures is a no-no.
|
| I highly recommend the book btw. It gave me a picture of a
| beautiful place and culture.
| antiterra wrote:
| I hope it's a little heartening that a parenting style that
| says 'my body is my body' is relatively popular which means
| those kids never have to try to dodge a kiss from grandma
| they don't want.
|
| That said, reading about Temple Grandin's hug box experience
| might open something up around the sensation.
| touisteur wrote:
| It has become very clear to me, listening to all my female
| friends, colleagues, partners - mtalking about consent and
| all kinds of horrible experiences when they couldn't say
| no, I didn't feel they could - that we used to teach body
| submission since a young age.
|
| I have twin girls and I'm trying as hard as possible to
| teach them body autonomy and consent. Your body your
| choice. The doctors help (if it's not urgent, let's talk,
| and if you're afraid or don't understand yet, we'll do it
| later on - the girls consent far easier when they don't get
| pressure and an explanation, and when they can see a track
| record of truthfulness and explaining stuff before - this
| is going to hurt, I'm doing it so you don't get such and
| such disease, as your parents explained, are you OK with it
| ? We can numb the area if you need). It can look silly to
| the tough-it-out crowd (and I don't really care if it
| annoys anyone) and yes, there'll be emergency overrides,
| but thankfully we've never needed any. Even the rare
| firemen or ER medics asked and explained before performing
| acts and actually _listened_ to the answer (we can do this
| one a bit later, but we need to do that one now to make
| sure you 're not in grave danger, OK?)...
|
| Family that doesn't understand get a talking to, first by
| the girls themselves, and then later on I can most of the
| time pinpoint painful or unpleasant experiences in the
| family stories, to illustrate the most irate. Every woman
| in my family immediately got it. My own grandma (born in
| the 20s) was ecstatic when we explained 'oh I hated when
| they forced me to kiss someone or get kissed, good for
| them, women are not toys'. Guess who gets the most hugs,
| kisses... My father doesn't get it, jokes it out and tries
| to force the issue or steal hugs or kisses and doesn't
| understand why they won't 'just take it'. Yeah... You can
| guess how he is with women.
|
| The first rule there has always been 'have I listened to
| what they actually want'? They're dependent human beings,
| not things.
|
| Strangely, many things become easier then. Not a struggle
| with authority but actually convincing about what needs to
| happen (vaccines, medical exams, hygiene, medication,
| sunscreen...), what can happen if they want and what the
| consequences can be (ears pierced, kinds of clothes,
| hairstyle)... I find them far more invested once they're
| all in, and... that I needed to work a lot on control
| issues.
|
| ... sorry, parenting is such a mind consuming activity, I
| ramble :-)
| pineaux wrote:
| I agree with you on the consent thing. Still, many many
| people want hugs and sometimes they dont know it in
| advance. Its the same as doing any scary thing, dont
| force people to do it, but a bit encouragement is not
| necessarily bad, you should know when to stop tho.
| someweirdperson wrote:
| ip26 wrote:
| Did you read all the press about lonely single people in
| lockdown, starved of human touch for six months or more,
| talking about what that was like?
|
| I don't think many people came away from lockdown with the
| same viewpoint as you.
| someweirdperson wrote:
| I do see a cotradiction here. People can touch eachother
| as much as they want. However, I don't think they are
| entitled to touch my hands, as defined by some
| traditional social norm.
| myself248 wrote:
| Oh, if only.
| pineaux wrote:
| You should try some tantra, I know multiple people that have
| been mentally healed by a single week-long tantra retreat.
| They changed front people that were uncomfortable with touch
| and intimacy to people who actively sought it out, without
| becoming creepy or non-consentual. I have one friends who was
| completely uncomfortable with his body and with intimacy from
| other people. Because of this, he was 26 years old and never
| had a sexual experience with another person before. After
| hearing some good stories of other Friends, he decided to do
| a tantra retreat. He came back a changed man. His fear of
| intimacy had dissapeared. A girl from the retreat proposed
| that she would deflower him and a few weeks later he had his
| first threesome. I know it sounds a bit unbelievable. I
| probably wouldn't believe it, if I hadn't had multiple people
| with a similar experience.
|
| That being said; nobody should be forced to hug or kiss if
| they don't want to. I do, however, believe that most people
| crave intimacy even if they do not know it themselves. I
| think love and intimacy are dangerous for systems and
| society, and are therefor discouraged slightly by society.
| BlargMcLarg wrote:
| Any chance at all you want to highlight what GP supposedly
| is to be "mentally healed" for?
| pineaux wrote:
| Yes, no problem. It is the taking away of inhibiting
| feelings. You know: like when you want to swim, but you
| feel concious about your body and rather not show it. It
| is your own view which handicaps you in such a moment.
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(page generated 2022-08-14 23:02 UTC)