[HN Gopher] Self-Dialogue as a Journaling Strategy
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       Self-Dialogue as a Journaling Strategy
        
       Author : gala8y
       Score  : 84 points
       Date   : 2022-07-26 12:10 UTC (10 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (sadgrl.online)
 (TXT) w3m dump (sadgrl.online)
        
       | chrsig wrote:
       | > I must acknowledge my internal dialogue - more than one voice
       | with differing perspectives that both reside inside of me. This
       | means making my entry more of a dialogue, one that explores many
       | avenues and looks at things from all sides.
       | 
       | I once took the approach of journaling in a spreadsheet to
       | address this. It was actually pretty useful.
       | 
       | I took two approaches:
       | 
       | - A column per "aspect", and row per topic. I factored time out
       | of the equation, and let each cell mature and become more well
       | articulated. Not every aspect had something to say about every
       | topic.
       | 
       | - A column per "aspect" and a row per day, allowing variance in
       | the topic. Each cell becomes what that voice is saying at the
       | given time.
       | 
       | This let me see both evolution of thought and accumulation of
       | thought. It lead to me having a very full and rich understanding
       | of myself at the time and what I thought and felt.
       | 
       | Ultimately, it did quite well at getting me through a tough time
       | and helping me make decisions on very difficult topics.
        
       | I_complete_me wrote:
       | I was introduced to journalling by the book "The Intensive
       | Journal" written by Ira Progroff. It was mesmerizing at the time
       | (me being young and all). I abandoned it because it was too much
       | "quantified self" long before that term became popular. I checked
       | and now there is some website associated with it promising the
       | sun, moon and stars. Suitable if astronomy is your bag I'd say -
       | caveat emptor is all I am saying.
       | 
       | However, I think that the practice of keeping a journal is
       | generally a good thing if it's not done exclusively for navel
       | gazing. One great benefit I find is that it proves we are all
       | "fools unto ourselves if watched".
        
       | parentheses wrote:
       | I have found this type of "self examination journaling" to be
       | very valuable. Rather than spilling random thoughts on paper, I
       | try to study myself like a subject and ask myself things. I
       | interview myself on paper and uncover some great insights about
       | who I am and why I do things. I've never been on top of it as
       | much as I should, but what little I have done has helped me
       | overcome some big personal obstacles.
       | 
       | My variation:
       | 
       | - through therapy and random thoughts, collect questions for
       | oneself (see below)
       | 
       | - when you journal, pick a question based on feeling, aim to
       | spend all the time writing and go!
       | 
       | I like to meditate afterwords because it puts me in a very open
       | and receptive place when I journal.
       | 
       | Questions I've found effective:
       | 
       | Why do I do X? instead of Y? when faced with Z? What should I do?
       | 
       | What are my motivations? Inspirations? Fears? Where do they come
       | from? Which ones are healthy? Which ones are winning? How do I
       | make them converge?
       | 
       | How do I identify my inner child's desires? Which ones are
       | important? Which ones are not? How do I make myself happy while
       | still being responsible?
        
         | kradeelav wrote:
         | Thank you for posting these lovely, thoughtful prompts. just
         | added them to my list of own prompts in the journal. :)
        
       | karencarits wrote:
       | The poem _Unfinished duet_ by Richard Siken is an absorbing
       | example of what I interpret as a self-dialogue
       | 
       | https://www.google.com/amp/s/crushedfingers.tumblr.com/post/...
        
       | ChildOfChaos wrote:
       | Reading all these journaling posts on HN with interest but
       | struggle to get into it myself. I find it just ends up my going
       | around in circles or getting frustrated, but I think that's just
       | me, whenever i sit down to think about anything and try and make
       | sense of anything in my life, I really struggle, sometimes if i'm
       | able to think clearly I feel good about half way through but when
       | I try and bring it all together i'm just overwhelmed.
       | 
       | Not being able to see the direct benefit, i'm not sure if there
       | is any overall law or else it's just a big time wasting exercise.
       | It's also hard to do at the end of the day due to low energy.
       | 
       | The trouble is there are so many things I can do for my mental
       | health and improve myself, perhaps all help, but there is just no
       | time. Meditation can be great, but it's a huge time suck, taking
       | a walk out in nature, nice but takes more time, exercise has the
       | biggest benefit for me but takes a lot of time and energy, but
       | when am i meant to get anything done after i finish work if I do
       | all of these? Then to fit journaling in, I have to stop working
       | earlier to sit down and just write my thoughts?
        
         | GrahamL wrote:
         | I've been journaling for over 10 years, and I can empathize
         | with everything you're saying here. I wrote a short guide for
         | effective journaling here[1], and plan on writing a lot more on
         | the topic soon. I do have some thoughts about what you've
         | written specifically though--I hope it's helpful.
         | 
         |  _> I find it just ends up my going around in circles or
         | getting frustrated, but I think that 's just me_
         | 
         | It's not just you. Circular thinking or rumination is very
         | common. I find journaling helpful in these instances because it
         | is a lot easier for me to recognize that I'm ruminating when I
         | write my thoughts down. When they're physically in front of me,
         | you can see the looping. When it's ephemeral thoughtstuff in
         | your head, it can be a lot harder to recognize.
         | 
         | The trick (for me) is finding a way to escape that loop once
         | I've recognized it. That's why I edit all my journal entries
         | after an initial stream-of-consciousness braindump.
         | 
         | There are a number of techniques you can play with to broaden
         | your viewpoint--write down an interpretation of events that is
         | the opposite of what you think, imagine the situation from a
         | caring friend's perspective, etc.
         | 
         | It's helpful to think of this as play, which brings me to my
         | next thought.
         | 
         |  _> whenever i sit down to think about anything and try and
         | make sense of anything in my life, I really struggle ... i 'm
         | just overwhelmed._
         | 
         |  _> It 's also hard to do at the end of the day due to low
         | energy._
         | 
         | It is possible you have set too-high expectations for your
         | journal entries. You will look at a majority of entries,
         | immediately after writing them, and think, "What trash, I will
         | never want to read this again."
         | 
         | That's fine. You might be right--maybe it's worthless. But
         | you'll be surprised at how frequently, a year later, you find
         | that you were wrong. It is interesting to read those honest
         | entries that are twisted and convoluted and just messed up.
         | 
         | And you will make progress over time, if you're flexible with
         | your mindset and open to change. Most entries will be ugly and
         | definitely not revelatory. That's fine--it's the accumulation
         | of observations that leads to breakthroughs. Putting too much
         | pressure on the individual entries themselves can actually be
         | counterproductive.
         | 
         |  _> The trouble is there are so many things I can do for my
         | mental health and improve myself ... when am i meant to get
         | anything done after i finish work if I do all of these?_
         | 
         | This is a real problem. I don't love the narrative around
         | "self-care" I'm frequently exposed to. Industry has a vested
         | interest in making you feel like their solution is one you
         | absolutely need to incorporate, to the point that self-care
         | becomes yet another external imposition for many people.
         | 
         | To be sure, all these things you list can be helpful, but
         | getting in touch with yourself and deciding what you need and
         | when you need it is most important.
         | 
         | [1] https://www.indelibleapp.com/effective-journaling
        
         | ALittleLight wrote:
         | One of the biggest benefits I find with journaling is that I
         | will often solve problems for myself. I'll write about a
         | problem and then find myself typing out "I should do..." and
         | when I read that I know what I should do.
         | 
         | There is a story about an old man going to watch the ancient
         | Olympics. The place is packed and he can't find a seat until he
         | arrives at the Spartan's section where the Spartans all leap to
         | their feet to offer the old man their seats. The crowd of
         | Greeks all cheer and the story's narrator observes sadly "All
         | the Greeks know what is right but only the Spartans do what is
         | right."
         | 
         | I think there is a similar disconnect in my brain. Sometimes it
         | is very easy to know what is right and harder to actually do
         | what is right. When you're writing though you can easily
         | leverage the "know what is right" part of your brain and when
         | you see what you should do typed out in front of you, it's
         | easier to engage the "do" part of the brain. You force yourself
         | to confront the discrepancy between what you know you should do
         | and what you are actually doing.
         | 
         | I have benefited from this in everything from arguing with my
         | wife ("I should apologize") to debugging ("I should make sure
         | function X does what I think it does"). I have a standing order
         | to myself to do what I think I should be doing.
        
           | chrisweekly wrote:
           | To paraphrase Feynman, writing isn't a record of one's
           | thinking, it IS the thinking.
        
             | agentwiggles wrote:
             | From Ted Chiang's truly wonderful "The Truth of Fact, The
             | Truth of Feeling":
             | 
             | > As he practiced his writing, Jijingi came to understand
             | what Moseby had meant; writing was not just a way to record
             | what someone said; it could help you decide what you would
             | say before you said it. And words were not just the pieces
             | of speaking; they were the pieces of thinking. When you
             | wrote them down, you could grasp your thoughts like bricks
             | in your hands and push them into different arrangements.
             | Writing let you look at your thoughts in a way you couldn't
             | if you were just talking, and having seen them, you could
             | improve them, make them stronger and more elaborate.
        
               | chrisweekly wrote:
               | Yes, this, exactly. Beautifully expressed!
        
         | UI_at_80x24 wrote:
         | You are not alone. I don't journal, but I've tried on & off
         | over the years. I find I had more 'fun' building the framework*
         | to start journaling then actually doing it.
         | 
         | IMHO Journals work good for those who are not introspective.
         | It's a way to "discover" how you really feel about a
         | topic/day/week/trend and to extrapolate from there.
         | 
         | I already know the dozen or so reasons "why" I am unhappy, but
         | I also recognize the choices that I made to get to this
         | position and it's better then the alternative.
         | 
         | * from VIM keybindings, to EMACS, to a web-diary, to some other
         | variations I've discovered that my roadblock to writing it down
         | isn't my hesitancy to write it, but to face the truth of what I
         | have to write.
        
           | ChildOfChaos wrote:
           | This is a good point.
           | 
           | I think the way my mind works, is it's always thinking about
           | this kinda stuff, it's always being introspective. All I need
           | to do is not be super busy or have something taking up my
           | attention and i'm doing it automatically anyway.
           | 
           | Cooking, cleaning, showing, even while I browse online, i'm
           | constantly looking for things and data to match what i'm
           | introspecting about.
        
         | TechBro8615 wrote:
         | I used to worry about this, and then I realized I have years of
         | internet comments that may as well be my journal. Going back to
         | any of them will remind me of what I was thinking around that
         | time. Same happens to me with screenshots, like was mentioned
         | in that post yesterday titled "take more screenshots."
        
         | dizzant wrote:
         | As with most things related to the interior life, what works
         | best for you is intensely personal. For myself, I have
         | journaled sporadically for the last decade, as the occasion
         | presented itself.
         | 
         | At first, I bought the notebook to catalogue a trip to Europe.
         | The first pages contain detailed daily logs of about 2 months
         | of my life while I was there. At the time, I recall feeling
         | like I was wasting valuable time that I could spend having more
         | experiences, and there are many missing days as a result. But
         | now 10 years later those pages contain stories I have failed to
         | retain in my memory, and help me to reconstruct the days I
         | didn't record. People and interactions I would have forgotten,
         | short-lived but vivid crushes, a tomato sauce recipe
         | transcribed poorly via a picture dictionary from a retired
         | Italian grandmother at a hostel in Lourdes.
         | 
         | Other times, I've used the journal to clear my head during
         | times of turmoil. Weak and unfinished thoughts on difficult
         | circumstances, poetic images of my emotions, scribbled bullet
         | lists of what happened and in what order as I tried to piece
         | things together.
         | 
         | For a spell, the same journal was where I kept daily todo
         | lists. Today, I'm using it as an outlet for my personal
         | thoughts and goals, to keep them distinct from research notes
         | and work notes. I find that writing them down helps me to
         | clarify what I want and to move in a consistent direction over
         | longer periods than focus and determination alone would allow.
         | 
         | The only consistent format for my journal is putting a date at
         | the top of each entry and writing in pen so I can't erase it.
         | 
         | Every time I look back over what I've written, I take something
         | different away; Rarely do I read what's there and count the act
         | of writing it as a waste of time. It's a window into the past.
        
         | DarmokJalad1701 wrote:
         | It takes a bit of motivation to get me there, but once a month
         | usually works out for the most part. I summarize my thoughts on
         | stuff going on in the world and with my life.
         | 
         | I don't use any fancy software. Just some markdown files in a
         | private git repo.
        
         | mtalantikite wrote:
         | I also had a hard time ever keeping a journal until I sat down
         | one day and started working through The Artist's Way [1], which
         | my partner had on her shelf. There are parts of it that don't
         | really work for me, maybe a little too self-help-y, but the
         | main practice of what the author calls "morning pages" ended up
         | getting me going.
         | 
         | It's very similar to what the article's author ended up hitting
         | upon -- just sit and write out the internal monologue. Let it
         | go freely and don't worry about it making sense or having
         | direction. Don't think about it too much and don't be precious
         | about it. If there's a thing that comes up and you want to work
         | it out, that's fine, start unpacking it. If it's just "man I
         | really feel tired today" and other things that feel like
         | nonsense, that's fine too.
         | 
         | Personally, I went from never keeping a journal to having a
         | daily journaling practice for maybe 5 years after following The
         | Artist's Way for the 12 weeks of prompts it gives you. Now I'm
         | only doing it a few times a week, but that's because I'm
         | working on other things that the journaling brought me to.
         | 
         | [1] https://www.theartistswaybook.com/
        
         | gala8y wrote:
         | I think when one starts writing all the messiness of one's life
         | / thinking shows up even stronger and makes 'writing' to feel
         | like a wall. I have tons of notes from all over the years, but
         | only now, gradually, I tend to treat it more and more as a
         | perfect way to make things clear and have fun doing it. I see
         | it (looking from the practice) as a self-enforcing process,
         | when it is kept alive it starts to bring flowers.
         | 
         | So I would rather talk about simply 'writing' and even finding
         | different modes of writing - themes, journal, goal oriented,
         | mumbling, notes, thought,...
         | 
         | As someone put it (I cant credit properly): Writing is nature's
         | way of telling you how sloppy your thinking is. ;)
         | 
         | What is proposed in the article is even stronger, it is to talk
         | with oneself using writing, dialoging as in... I ask X, is
         | anoyone (inside) who would like to answer? ... and so on...
         | Strong stuff. :)
        
         | ghostbrainalpha wrote:
         | I never thought I would be a journaler, but got into it by
         | accident.
         | 
         | I read self improvement books regularly, and I started keeping
         | a journal of what I was reading. I try to read 10 pages each
         | day, and at the end of my section I just write a paragraph
         | summarizing what I had read.
         | 
         | After awhile the summaries started naturally including examples
         | from my life so that I could remember the points better. And my
         | own personal goals and aspirations. Once I was there it isn't
         | that different from a standard "life" journal, but having the
         | book you are reading really gives you a crutch to lean into and
         | grow off of.
        
         | egypturnash wrote:
         | There's only so much time in a day. Try one for a few months.
         | Did it help? Maybe keep doing it then. Definitely try something
         | else if it didn't. Maybe keep a simple log of it - just a date,
         | the fact that you did it, and if anything interesting happened
         | maybe write that down too. Maybe don't if that gets in the way
         | of you just sitting down and doing the thing.
         | 
         | How can you carve your time up differently? What would your
         | life look like if you replaced that "I need a break, I'm gonna
         | look at HN/Tiktok/Twitter/etc" reflex with "I need a break, I'm
         | gonna meditate for a few minutes" or "I need a break, I'm gonna
         | get up and dance to this bangin' tune that just came on"?
         | 
         | ("Walking meditation" is a thing too, and a walk out in nature
         | is a great place to do it!)
         | 
         | And: how can you bend your life so that your job is enjoyable;
         | how can you bend your life so that the time you spend "at work"
         | is well-spent, and that you don't have to waste extra hours in
         | the parts that help?
        
         | throwanem wrote:
         | > whenever i sit down to think about anything and try and make
         | sense of anything in my life, I really struggle
         | 
         | I used to feel much the same, but also found after I started
         | keeping a diary in early 2018 that this got a _lot_ easier.
         | Being able to refer back to my earlier thoughts and
         | considerations, as I wrote them down and thought through them
         | in the moment, saved a lot of time in  "getting up to speed" on
         | prior context, and also enabled me to test my hypotheses for
         | why I felt a way or what might help me feel differently.
         | 
         | It's made a huge difference, despite that I didn't start with
         | that expectation, or really _any_ expectation - I had a flu and
         | a 102deg fever for most of that week and the next, I didn 't go
         | into it expecting anything to make much sense at all! I just
         | started, and stuck with it, and that seems to have been the
         | thing that counted.
         | 
         | For you it might be worth a try, or it might not. That's true
         | of anything, and I think it may be worth considering that it's
         | not necessarily possible to know going in what's really going
         | to help and what isn't. More important, I think, is to be
         | willing to give things a try, in order to find out whether they
         | really _are_ useful. If that means working a little less to
         | make space, then sure, to some extent there 's a tradeoff
         | there. But on the other hand, if you don't put the work in on
         | yourself, who else is going to be able to?
        
         | dbtc wrote:
         | Zen saying: "You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day.
         | Unless you're too busy, then you should sit for an hour."
         | 
         | Gandhi: "I have so much to accomplish today that I must
         | meditate for two hours instead of one."
         | 
         | Meditation is like a time-doubler for me. Something like 1 hour
         | of meditation makes me able to do 4 hours worth of productive
         | stuff in the next 2 hours. But the hard part is the initial
         | investment of time. You have to spend time to make time?
         | 
         | I really like vipassana, but journaling is also a meditation.
        
         | raintrees wrote:
         | after I get done with a bicycle rise (I do push while I ride,
         | like pulling on my cleats/toe clips, not just pushing - And I
         | rarely coast) so a shower is usually recommended for me after
         | (to give anyone a sense of my exertion).
         | 
         | And during the last part of the ride and the time thereafter,
         | ideas frequently start flowing, I see solutions to problems
         | that now appear obvious, where before I felt stymied.
         | 
         | And that is what I hope to get out of journaling...
         | 
         | ymmv, of course :)
        
       | raintrees wrote:
       | This clicks for me. I have numerous barely started journals,
       | along with varying levels of guilt about not writing every day,
       | and a lack of feeling anything is coming out of the process.
       | 
       | I am now inspired to open one back up...
        
       | PaulsWallet wrote:
       | I highly recommend the book "Your Head is a Houseboat" to anyone
       | who wants to start journaling but doesn't really know how to get
       | into it. It is a very approachable, almost child-like
       | introduction to your brain and the voices in your head.
        
       | NoGravitas wrote:
       | > I must be completely honest and make no attempt to hide from
       | thoughts or feelings that arise. This can only be done (for me,
       | personally) when I'm sure that no one's eyes will ever see it.
       | Only then do I allow myself to be completely open.
       | 
       | Mainly a question for the author, who is unlikely to see this,
       | but how do you ensure that no one's eyes will ever see your
       | journal? I guess I _could_ set up automatic GPG encryption for
       | org-roam, and journal in there, but I 'd much rather journal on
       | paper. A safe? A cash box?
        
         | dizzant wrote:
         | For me, "no one" translates more accurately to "no one I care
         | about." I keep my journal physically on my person, in the
         | backpack with my laptop. If the backpack is stolen, I actually
         | don't care if the thief reads my notes -- maybe he'll find
         | something of value there. More than likely, he won't care about
         | my interior conflicts.
         | 
         | My wife and friends know not to look through the journal
         | without my permission, and I trust them. If I didn't trust
         | them, I would find different friends.
        
         | jbmny wrote:
         | I use vim-gnupg. It makes the whole thing a breeze. And in my
         | experience, the author is completely right: I won't open up all
         | the way unless I have guaranteed privacy. It's not that I have
         | anything criminal to hide, but we all have things we're
         | uncomfortable putting on the page and being forced to
         | acknowledge as reality.
        
       | leobg wrote:
       | This is actually an exercise in Gestalt therapy: You argue your
       | position from two chairs. It works.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | taylorius wrote:
       | This seems a very interesting approach. I find i have multiple
       | "voices" in my head, all of which are parts of me. I can have
       | conversations between these mini personalities,but I've never
       | tried writing them down. I think I will give it a go. Needs to be
       | super secure journal though! :-)
        
         | wonder_er wrote:
         | I've been reading "No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma & Restoring
         | Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model", and I wonder
         | if you might find the book worth the read!
        
       | ghostbrainalpha wrote:
       | If you are someone who doesn't always click the articles before
       | reading the discussion, make sure to check the page out for this
       | one.
       | 
       | The design of this blog is amazing.
        
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       (page generated 2022-07-26 23:01 UTC)