[HN Gopher] If operating systems were beers (1995)
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       If operating systems were beers (1995)
        
       Author : shakna
       Score  : 112 points
       Date   : 2022-06-13 11:24 UTC (11 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (beerme.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (beerme.com)
        
       | aparticulate wrote:
       | Loving all the retro stuff on HN today!
        
       | petee wrote:
       | Well if its outdated, lets add some new ones.
       | 
       | OpenBSD would be just can, by default. Beer is your prerogative,
       | and available in the ports tree.
        
         | smoldesu wrote:
         | I actually heard that alcohol got dropped off the mainline due
         | to a lack of maintainers. FreeBSD continues to ship their cans
         | half-filled though!
        
           | bstamour wrote:
           | They actually ship three different cans - one for each
           | firewall in the base install.
        
             | smoldesu wrote:
             | Hey, that's already halfway to a six pack! Maybe these BSD
             | developers _do_ know what they 're doing, after all...
        
         | ben_bai wrote:
         | Hah, it's like "Beer 5,0". Beer that tastes like beer, no
         | advertisements, only cans. Don't like it? Drink something else!
        
         | accrual wrote:
         | It also ships in a hardened can to make it difficult for others
         | to illictly drink your beer.
        
       | agomez314 wrote:
       | is the site down?
        
         | trevcanhuman wrote:
         | not for me.
        
       | mgdlbp wrote:
       | Also: When You Write Your Essays in Programming Languages
       | 
       | https://web.archive.org/web/0/http://www.somethingofthatilk....
       | 
       | Another site bites the dust. A gallery of some of the comics, if
       | archive.org is slow: https://imgur.com/gallery/mukhL
        
       | anyfoo wrote:
       | The discussions here about Windows NT, Netware, and the various
       | UNIXes transports me back to my youth when I worked as a
       | freelance system/network admin for various small to mid-size
       | companies before going to university. What a fun, diverse job
       | that was. Very different from what I imagine DevOps to be
       | nowadays...
        
         | bombcar wrote:
         | It's kind of weird that Linux in a way became what people were
         | afraid Windows would - Linux has absolutely crushed and
         | destroyed all other OSes so that all that remains on server is
         | basically Linux and a small amount of Windows in a bad POSIX
         | mustache with a sign around its neck that says "LINUX".
         | 
         | And worldwide we're basically down to three or five OSes:
         | Windows, macOS, Linux, Android, iOS, depending on how you count
         | them. The various "flavors" of Linux are way more similar than
         | even old versions of Windows were.
        
           | msla wrote:
           | > It's kind of weird that Linux in a way became what people
           | were afraid Windows would
           | 
           | The fear surrounding Windows was that a company would own
           | computing even more than IBM owned computing in the 1950s:
           | Microsoft would be it, every other company would exist at
           | Microsoft's sufferance and effectively pay a tax in order to
           | be allowed to keep existing, and anything which would
           | threaten Microsoft's current business plans would be
           | destroyed through a mix of API changes, revocation of
           | developer licenses, AARD code-like subterfuge, and, _in
           | extremis_ , actual lawsuits.
           | 
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AARD_code
           | 
           | Add Palladium on top of that, and PCs are better locked-down
           | than cell phones turned out to be:
           | 
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Next-
           | Generation_Secure_Computi...
        
       | zhte415 wrote:
       | Windows 11 beer -
       | 
       | An innovative new taste that reminds some of iOS beer when mixed
       | with Windows XP beer. This deafening non-distinctiveness will
       | earn it a place in history as an exemplifier of late 2010s style.
       | It comes in a 64 oz can which, following earlier experiments with
       | square containers, is round again, in fact all corners have been
       | completely removed with only one edge remaining. This 64oz can
       | can contain unlimited numbers of other 8, 16, 32 and 64 oz cans
       | of other beers, and the label comes in all languages except for
       | some markets where it doesn't. In the interests of your safe
       | drinking and continued loyalty to the beer, the can will stop you
       | drinking from it just when you really want to while refilling
       | itself with what you hope is not another flavour.
        
         | Night_Thastus wrote:
         | You really wonder why they bothered calling this an "all new
         | beer" when it's really essentially the same beer as their last
         | one, just with slightly better looking label and can. It still
         | has those weird aftertastes and smells in it that you swear
         | were from the Windows95Beer and DOSBeer.
        
       | KerrAvon wrote:
       | This person wasn't a Mac user; that entry is both inaccurate and
       | uninteresting. If someone with more patience than me would like
       | to rewrite it: From the programmer's perspective, the Mac was
       | always essentially a 32-bit machine (you could make an argument
       | for the early Mac being limited to 24 bits), and the
       | "ingredients" were actually very well documented in the early
       | Inside Mac volumes; lockdown came later as Apple tried to move
       | the application base to a succession of "modern" OSes.
        
       | GrumpyYoungMan wrote:
       | Kind of depressing to contrast that with today where there are
       | just three deeply entrenched operating systems (phone and
       | embedded OSes don't count since the end-user has no meaningful
       | access to them). We, or at least I, naively thought we'd see
       | continued rapid evolution of a plethora of OSes to accompany the
       | rapid evolution of computer hardware.
        
         | hnlmorg wrote:
         | We were already seeing that happen back in 95. From that list
         | half the operating systems were either deprecated or niche. We
         | still have a plethora of niche platforms now from the various
         | BSDs, Open Solaris derivatives, Hakiu, ReactOS, and all the
         | experimental ones too.
         | 
         | The hardware duopoly was already in full force by 1995. Sure
         | Amiga was listed in that article but by 1995 IBM-compatible PCs
         | had won and Amiga, Atari, Acorn etc were basically just used by
         | a small few enthusiasts or specialist domains.
        
       | kriro wrote:
       | I got a good chuckle out of an old "which os are you" quiz (html
       | site, pre social media quizzes) where I ended up Gnu/Hurd because
       | I forgot to answer one question :D
        
       | Optimal_Persona wrote:
       | Windows ME must have been brewed from corn, as on a fresh install
       | I'd get a kernel error at least 1 out of 3 boots!
        
       | carldaddy wrote:
       | I love these old looking websites.
        
       | theandrewbailey wrote:
       | Reminds me of the "car" dealership comparison in In the Beginning
       | was the Command Line:
       | https://web.stanford.edu/class/cs81n/command.txt
       | 
       | and the hilarious "if programming languages were cars" list:
       | http://users.cms.caltech.edu/~mvanier/hacking/rants/cars.htm...
        
         | mos_basik wrote:
         | > ~mvanier
         | 
         | Wow, did a double take seeing that. I took all of the courses
         | he taught at Caltech around 2011-12. Really enjoyed him. Didn't
         | expect to see that link on HN.
        
       | santiagobasulto wrote:
       | For anybody that used to work professionally back in the 90s, I
       | want to ask:
       | 
       | Was Windows NT a good OS? My professor in University was a
       | hardcore Linux fan, but he used to praise NT saying it was the
       | best thing Microsoft did.
        
         | hulitu wrote:
         | There is a certain elegance in the OSs of the 1990-2000. NT was
         | a bit slow but predictible. It got slower as you loaded it.
         | Now, with preemptive multitasking some things are very fast and
         | some are very slow. Why do i have to wait seconds for the
         | cursor to blink ? Why it doesn't blink at a constant rate?
        
         | ethbr0 wrote:
         | It's the best thing Microsoft ever did... compared to the other
         | things Microsoft did at the time.
         | 
         | Microsoft has always had a shit ton of extremely smart people,
         | mired in two shit tons of middling execs.
         | 
         | Windows NT was what happened when the product / political side
         | of the company ignored the technologists for a bit.
        
         | Goleniewski wrote:
         | It was light and day. It is what it is because of the man in
         | charge. Billy G knew that even he didn't have the skills to
         | manage the development of NT. Therefore he got a guy called
         | Dave Cutler to head it up.
         | 
         | Dave was the man because he used to work for DEC on a project
         | called Onyx and prism (A hardware/software combo to do
         | essentially what NT does) was cancelled by DEC at the last
         | minute.
         | 
         | MS wanted him that much that they brought his entire
         | Development team to MS (not one person was left behind, at his
         | demand. They where quite ...tribal...)
         | 
         | This is also part of the reason NT originally worked on DEC
         | systems as well.
         | 
         | It's all in a rather fascinating book called Showstopper: The
         | Breakneck Race to Create Windows NT and the Next Generation at
         | Microsoft
         | 
         | For a few bucks it really is a most excellent read that goes
         | into some techy and really fascinating issues they encountered.
         | One of the biggest was Memory was so little back then.
        
           | wongarsu wrote:
           | I quite like the NT kernel from a design standpoint. Sadly
           | some of the cooler features were removed over time, like
           | offering Win32, Posix and OS/2 APIs as equal subsystems for
           | interacting with the kernel (though the capability became
           | useful again with WSL1). The entire user management and
           | rights management story is very well thought out; somewhat
           | complicated but incredibly powerful. And while it's not the
           | fastest kernel out there, it really excels at keeping the
           | system interactive and useful under CPU and memory pressure.
           | 
           | If only the userspace was as good as the kernel. A lot of
           | good things were (and still are) obscure because they aren't
           | properly surfaced in the Windows UI.
        
         | actionfromafar wrote:
         | NT 3.x did not have the video driver in kernel, so it was
         | extremely stable. I liked it a lot at school, felt silky smooth
         | on the 486DX66 in the lab.
        
         | s1mon wrote:
         | I used it to run Pro/Engineer (now called Creo) in the mid-90s.
         | Prior to that, it only ran on Unix workstations from Sun, SGI,
         | etc.
         | 
         | I also had Macs for personal stuff at the time. I remember NT
         | being remarkably stable in comparison to regular Windows, and
         | MacOS of the time. It would run for weeks and weeks without
         | crashing or rebooting. It wasn't sexy, but it worked.
        
         | GrumpyYoungMan wrote:
         | Depends on what you mean by "good OS". Architecturally, it was
         | a descendant of VMS and its kernel was considered well
         | engineered for its time. It had a ton of bugs and security
         | issues but so did all the pre-2.0 Linux kernels/distributions
         | that were its contemporary.
         | 
         | From the userland and UI perspective, well, it's just Windows,
         | both in the positive and negative sense; NT is the granddady of
         | Windows XP and Windows 7 both of which were well regarded but
         | NT also suffered from all the warts and ugliness caused by
         | being converted into a consumer OS.
        
         | jedberg wrote:
         | I liked windows NT so much I traveled an hour on public transit
         | to stand in a two hour line to get a beta copy of Windows NT 4,
         | and ran it as my daily driver (upgrading to non-beta) until I
         | just switched to Linux (and then the first version of MacOS X).
         | 
         | This was after I tried to take the NT 3.51 kernel and marry it
         | with the Win95 UI (that didn't work).
        
           | anyfoo wrote:
           | > This was after I tried to take the NT 3.51 kernel and marry
           | it with the Win95 UI (that didn't work).
           | 
           | How in C:\>'s name would that have been possible? Windows 95
           | was an unholy mixture of 16bit code running in vm86 mode
           | interleaved with 32bit code, and nearly full Windows 3.1
           | compatibility even in lower level aspects. NT was a
           | _relatively_ clean full 32bit reimplementation.
           | 
           | Was the UI part so cleanly separated to have a chance at
           | that? (Not what my impression was, but I really never dived
           | that deep into Windows.)
        
             | jedberg wrote:
             | It couldn't. :) I was dumb and naive and just tried to
             | replace the kernel on win95 with the WinNT kernel. Like
             | just the one sys file.
             | 
             | After booting it just sat there like "what in C:\>'s name
             | have you done to me?!"
        
               | anyfoo wrote:
               | > I was dumb and naive and just tried to replace the
               | kernel on win95 with the WinNT kernel.
               | 
               | Hahah, I'd be lying if I said that I didn't do equally
               | naive stuff back in the day, I know exactly what your
               | kind of thinking was.
               | 
               | It's almost sad, because understanding takes the magic
               | away. I sort of miss looking at computers with the eyes
               | of a child and wondering what lies behind the
               | abstractions...
        
               | progman32 wrote:
               | One time, I really wanted to get an EXE of my QuickBasic
               | programs. I just renamed the file to be myprog.exe.
               | Needless to say, that didn't work. But little me learned
               | that day, so I'm not gonna be embarrassed by it.
        
               | jedberg wrote:
               | I have an even better dumb story. Right after high school
               | I visited my friend at Berkeley, and while there I wrote
               | down his IP address.
               | 
               | When I got home I changed my IP to be a different one on
               | the same subnet and matched the gateway address. I knew
               | what a subnet was, I knew what a router was, but I didn't
               | realize you can't just reach any router you want.
               | 
               | I figured if I did that I could get all the stuff that
               | was restricted to the Berkeley network.
               | 
               | Needless to say it didn't work.
        
               | ianmcgowan wrote:
               | I got a fancy HPUX refrigerator-sized server to replace a
               | mainframe in the early 90's. Was on Netware 3.11 at the
               | time and did not understand the concept of IP, so just
               | made up a bunch of random IP addresses. The confusing
               | thing was telnet did not work at all, but ftp kinda/sorta
               | did. That was an embarrassing call with HP support, but
               | the guy I talked to kindly gave me a 30-minute tutorial
               | and usenet filled in the rest later (and crynwr packet
               | drivers).
        
         | GauntletWizard wrote:
         | NT5/Windows 2000 was a huge leap forward for Microsoft in terms
         | of design model and security. NT5.1/Windows XP had some
         | iterative improvements and some things going backwards.
         | 
         | NT4 was better than 95 in every way, but was merely mediocre.
         | Microsoft's suite of workplace tools that ran on NT4 were janky
         | and broken, requiring their own college degree to set up and
         | administer, but they also represented a real productivity boost
         | for many teams.
        
       | philistine wrote:
       | Isn't it crazy to read an article from before the frenzy of
       | Windows 95! This funny thing presumes people are going to stick
       | to 3.1.
        
         | bombcar wrote:
         | People _did_ stick to 3.1, at least on 386 and 486 machines. I
         | knew _nobody_ who ran Windows 95 on anything less than a
         | Pentium, even though it was compatible down to the 386 in most
         | cases.
         | 
         | It's just that so many people bought their _first_ computer
         | around that time, that it really was able to grow quickly.
        
       | 404mm wrote:
       | I can enrich the VMS beer: Despite having Open in the name, the
       | newer cans are tightly sealed and come in 32 or 64 cans. However
       | these cans fit only very specific and expensive 32 or 64 oz can
       | holders. Some say the first sip tastes a lot like the well known
       | DOS flavor but it rapidly changes to its unique profile.
        
       | nvr219 wrote:
       | I guess this is a good place to ask. Back in the 90s there was a
       | humor mailing list that was like, "Top Five such-and-such" and it
       | was operated by someone named Chris. Don't remember last name.
       | Does anyone remember this?
        
       | notjustanymike wrote:
       | iOS beer: Everyone drinks this! Your grandma, kids at school, the
       | guy driving you to the airport. Most people don't even know
       | they're drinking beer until they're too impaired to perform basic
       | tasks. The makers of iOS beer believe the solution is simple:
       | drink more iOS beer!
        
         | NwtnsMthd wrote:
         | Incompatible with beer mugs, you're required to drink from the
         | can.
        
         | dijit wrote:
         | Sounds like Bud Light.
         | 
         | Everyone drinks it. It's non-offensive and ubiquitous, but
         | doesn't offer very much flavour.
         | 
         | (Heavy iOS user here)
        
       | codevark wrote:
        
       | nimbius wrote:
       | so...whos got the recipe for Linux beer?
        
         | GrumpyYoungMan wrote:
         | Linux beer: Displaced the various flavors of UNIX beer by being
         | free (as in beer) and is extremely popular where that's
         | important, i.e. everywhere. Tasted a bit manky in its earliest
         | brewings but eventually got tasty enough to displace all the
         | other UNIX beers, although Solaris beer brewers fiercely insist
         | to this day that it's not nearly as good. Currently the most
         | widely drunk beer in the world, although its detractors point
         | out that for most of that it's only an ingredient and not being
         | drank straight up. Its drinkers have a one-sided rivalry with
         | Windows beer drinkers for some reason even though the latter
         | has long since ceased to care.
        
           | noisy_boy wrote:
           | Nowadays, the pop-tops don't break off as often - though when
           | they do, you still either need a complete set of
           | instructions, or a friend who has been drinking Linux Beer
           | for several years. Also, available in cans of every
           | imaginable size in every imaginable bar.
        
       | KineticLensman wrote:
       | Conversely, I'm not sure which OS is most like my preferred UK
       | real ale: "Old Grumblebelly"
        
       | yalogin wrote:
       | I thought Novell Netware was huge in 1995. Why isn't that listed
       | here? Is it because it was an enterprise only beer?
        
         | anyfoo wrote:
         | Now that you mention it, indeed a pretty big omission! (For
         | those who never dealt with it, it was a full blown operating
         | system on the server side, with own multitasking kernel that
         | had its own proprietary filesystem and everything.)
        
       | vardump wrote:
       | AmigaDOS (and Kickstart & Workbench) have always been 32 oz
       | variety. Even Motorola 68000 got 32-bit address space and 32-bit
       | register width. Same binary code runs fine on MC68020 and beyond.
       | 
       | Internally MC68k was 16-bit, but from a programmer's point of
       | view you got 8x 32-bit data registers, 8x 32-bit address
       | registers (minus stack pointer) and a flat, 32-bit memory space.
       | 
       | No 32-bit x 32-bit = 64-bit multiply though, only 16b x 16b =
       | 32b. Same with divide.
        
         | Findecanor wrote:
         | Oh, there were some badly written programs for 68000 Amigas
         | that didn't run on the 68020 or later.
         | 
         | One "clever" trick was to store data in the highest byte of
         | 32-bit pointers -- which had worked on the 68000 because it had
         | only a 24-bit address bus.
         | 
         | Another thing that didn't work was self-modifying code. The
         | 68020 introduced an instruction cache, which would have had to
         | be cleared first.
        
           | vardump wrote:
           | Yeah, that upper 8-bit address tagging thing was a
           | "clever"... waste of cycles.
           | 
           | Just rotating/shifting 32-bit registers by 8 places costs 24
           | cycles (8 + 2 * n) on 68000, like if the value was passed in
           | a register. Shifting the value by 24 places is even worse,
           | massive 56 cycles...
           | 
           | You could also do "move.b (a0), d0" directly from the pointer
           | to pointer address. That'd cost just 8 cycles.
           | 
           | Self-modifying code wasn't all that beneficial nor popular on
           | 68k because of ample number of usable registers, 16,
           | including a7, that is used as a stack pointer, but nothing
           | prevented you from using it for something else for a while. I
           | think copy protections and such used weird tricks like SMC.
           | 
           | Machine code generators (kind of limited JITs) were useful,
           | but those usually generated large enough blocks of code to
           | flush a small cache by default.
           | 
           | There were also some race conditions with DMA (like blitter
           | and perhaps with disk), when DMA completion wasn't properly
           | checked.
           | 
           | But 99%+ of code didn't use those tricks and was perfectly
           | compatible.
        
       | TomMasz wrote:
       | This was funny 25 years ago.
        
         | googlryas wrote:
         | This comment was worthless at all times.
        
         | 0xbadc0de5 wrote:
         | And no mention of Netware? What kind of 90's sysadmin lists NT,
         | OS/2 and VMS but forgets Netware?
        
           | TheMerovingian wrote:
           | Probably the last remaining sane ones?
        
             | anyfoo wrote:
             | I thought Netware was pretty good for what it was... not
             | nearly as powerful as a UNIX, but that's not what Netware
             | shops usually needed. I administered it next to UNIXes (and
             | some NT sites, ugh) in my youth when I jobbed as a system
             | administrator before studying, and have mostly good
             | memories of it. It didn't cause troubles and served a small
             | to mid-size company well. Fond memories...
        
         | mbg721 wrote:
         | The thing that preserves it is that the beer style that tastes
         | like licking a Christmas tree but has a high ABV won out.
         | People still use Windows for the same reason.
        
         | reaperducer wrote:
         | It's still funny. All you need is a memory, and a sense of
         | humor.
         | 
         | Feels like something that someone pulled from Usenet and turned
         | into a web page, back when the internet was still interesting.
        
           | kayodelycaon wrote:
           | And be born more than 25 years ago and had access to these
           | computers.
           | 
           | Even though I'm old enough to have used DOS as a kid, my
           | grade school didn't have any computers for student use. I
           | jumped immediately to Windows 95 from DOS, but never used it
           | for more than playing games and Microsoft Office.
           | 
           | I encountered macOS 8 in High School but only used them for
           | Logo (turtles!).
           | 
           | So I really don't get the article.
        
             | andai wrote:
             | You can try all these systems today, if you're interested.
        
         | matthewmcg wrote:
         | What's most amazing to me (as somebody who's tried more beer
         | styles than operating systems) is that the comparison doesn't
         | really make use of actual beer styles. There's just the
         | suggestion that Amiga is now an "import" beer.
         | 
         | It's a good reminder that >25 years ago most bars and grocery
         | stores has just a few different brands of larger, and maybe a
         | light option or two.
        
           | hvs wrote:
           | In the mid-90's Heineken and Becks were considered "fancy"
           | beers. By the late 90's , microbreweries were starting to
           | appear (at least in the Chicago-area where I was living).
        
           | dfxm12 wrote:
           | Keep in mind, it's a joke meant for & by computer nerds (i.e.
           | people who have tried more OSes than beer styles), not beer
           | nerds.
        
         | oldgradstudent wrote:
         | I don't think that it was ever funny.
         | 
         | Something about brevity being the soul of wit.
        
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