[HN Gopher] Foster care is evolving by relying on children's kin
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       Foster care is evolving by relying on children's kin
        
       Author : pilfered
       Score  : 34 points
       Date   : 2022-06-13 03:05 UTC (19 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.newsnationnow.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.newsnationnow.com)
        
       | adhesive_wombat wrote:
       | > Our European visitors are important to us.
       | 
       | ...uh huh.
        
         | hef19898 wrote:
         | If we can't sell your data we don't want you! Typing this from
         | Iceland, which is, at least last time I checked, not in the EU.
         | Not sure if the GDPR rules apply here...
        
           | gpvos wrote:
           | Yes, the GDPR applies in the entire EEA, so also in Iceland.
        
             | hef19898 wrote:
             | Ah, didn't know that! I assumed it was an EU-only thing!
        
               | barry-cotter wrote:
               | Yes, EEA countries follow the large majority of EU laws
               | but have no input into the drafting of them.
        
           | googlryas wrote:
           | It's more like "If you don't want us handling your data in a
           | specific way which we do for everyone, we will gladly oblige
           | by not letting you give us your data".
        
         | light_cone wrote:
         | "Honey, you are so important to me that I decided to dump you."
         | 
         | If you tried adapt the corporate wording in your everyday life,
         | you'd be judged by everyone as one of the biggest a-hole there
         | is, and rightly so.
         | 
         | I wonder the proportion of people like me who are aggravated by
         | this bs...
        
           | adhesive_wombat wrote:
           | Mealy-mouthed corporate platitudes really irk me too.
           | 
           | I just assume everything any company says is a flat out lie,
           | except when forced by law and even then they're trying to
           | wiggle out of the full truth.
        
             | light_cone wrote:
             | Yes, I think it's a fair assumption unfortunately.
        
       | tibbetts wrote:
       | The "shadow foster system" is related to this and has some
       | problems. These are complex situations, maybe sometimes there is
       | no good options. But if you are interested in learning more,
       | Propublica has done some good reporting on the downside of non-
       | foster placements: https://www.propublica.org/article/they-took-
       | us-away-from-ea...
        
       | petermcneeley wrote:
       | 50% of the homeless have been in foster care.
        
         | kayodelycaon wrote:
         | Would not surprise me. Most kids who had parents so bad they
         | needed to be removed from them aren't going to have had good
         | childhoods.
        
         | cgriswald wrote:
         | Do you have a source? With a brief search I was unable to find
         | a credible source that supports your claim. These papers
         | suggest that anyone involved in child-welfare as a child has a
         | higher risk, unless they can go back home.
         | 
         | https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5644395/
         | 
         | > Youth aging out of foster exhibit similar rates of literal
         | homelessness and housing instability as other child welfare-
         | involved youth, while youth who reunify after out-of-home
         | placement in adolescence experience the lowest probability of
         | literal homelessness
         | 
         | https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3969135/
         | 
         | > Consistent with earlier studies, we found that youths aging
         | out of foster care are at high risk of becoming homeless during
         | their transition to adulthood. Specifically, 36% of the 624
         | Midwest Study participants whose outcomes we could observe
         | reported at least 1 episode of homelessness by age 26 years.
         | That figure could be as low as 31% or as high as 46% depending
         | on the rate of homelessness among those with unobserved
         | outcomes, which means that, at a minimum, nearly one-third of
         | the study participants were homeless at some point after
         | leaving foster care.
         | 
         | Obviously these studies are talking about risk and not a
         | percent of the population, but it does seem that being
         | effectively a homeless child increases risk of being a homeless
         | adult at some point.
         | 
         | The latter study mentions several mechanisms to ameliorate the
         | problem.
        
           | petermcneeley wrote:
           | Here is some stats. Not sure if they are credible.
           | https://www.fosterfocusmag.com/articles/foster-care-and-
           | home....
        
       | demadog wrote:
       | No doubt an emotionally charged and complicated system, but
       | surprised it's taken this long to realize what most would see as
       | obvious.
       | 
       | Nevertheless happy that's it's trending in the right direction.
       | 
       | Pretty shocking at the end it mentions Gray fostered 41 children
       | and 7 grandchildren...
        
         | anoonmoose wrote:
         | 41 children is impressive...but having to foster 7 of your own
         | grandchildren certainly raises questions.
        
           | gowld wrote:
           | The article answers the questions:
           | 
           | > It was her son Vaughn's child. He was on the street, doing
           | drugs, and he conceived Evaughn with a woman who was also
           | homeless and an addict.
           | 
           | > She later adopted Evaughn's half-brother, Isaiah
           | 
           | Making babies is much, much easier than caring for them. A
           | woman and her male partners can make a dozen.
           | 
           | Reproduction happens quite naturally, unless you have the
           | resources, wisdom and will to to prevent it, and losing your
           | children is quite easy if you lack the resources, wisdom, and
           | will to care for them.
        
       | mesh wrote:
       | fyi, The Economist discusses this topic this week:
       | 
       | For foster children, relatives can make all the difference
       | https://www.economist.com/united-states/2022/06/09/for-foste...
       | 
       | "Research shows that children who have been removed from their
       | parents but brought up by relatives do better in myriad other
       | ways. They are less likely to have a criminal record or become
       | homeless (as more than a quarter of those who have been in foster
       | care or institutions do). Research also suggests why that might
       | be so. Relatives are less likely than foster parents to request
       | that poorly behaved children be removed. And they are more likely
       | to take in groups of siblings, who are routinely separated in the
       | care system."
       | 
       | It also discusses some of the institutional structures that make
       | this difficult (i.e. requiring that relatives become certified
       | foster care participants before they can receive any of the
       | support regular foster care participants receive).
        
         | gowld wrote:
         | I'm curious if they compared to kids who went into foster care
         | but had neaerby relatives to spend time with.
         | 
         | Obviously having some family is better on average than hacing
         | none.
        
         | jvanderbot wrote:
         | Foster care training is not too challenging, and includes
         | fairly normal inspection of the house for safety purposes. It
         | also comes with a lot of help for setting up food benefits,
         | Healthcare, and so on. It's no more arduous than parenting a
         | child with a minor health problem, and I've done both now. And
         | it protects the child from exploitation.
         | 
         | Also the in-home care and coaching that social workers give to
         | at risk parents before they consider placing a child in foster
         | care is quite extensive.
         | 
         | Foster parents are regularly told that they are a last resort,
         | and any family member do over them. Unfortunately, many parents
         | who lose custody of their children exhaust their support
         | structure long before the state intervenes, so they aren't
         | likely to find help from family.
        
       | aidenn0 wrote:
       | I am a foster parent. Before I share my perspective, a quick
       | disclaimer: foster care varies hugely from state to state (and
       | within California, it varies hugely from county to county).
       | 
       | Here, there has been a greater focus on kinship care and in-home
       | aid (i.e. not removing the kids) primarily due to a shortage of
       | foster parents. There is a shortage of foster parents because the
       | system treats foster parents like crap.
       | 
       | > "I helped her do all of these things that I don't think a
       | foster parent would have done for her. ... You're not invested in
       | that," Gray said. "But for me, it was my granddaughter."
       | 
       | Not to pick on the person quoted in this article, but this
       | attitude exists all around the system; there is an implicit
       | assumption that foster parents care less about the foster
       | children than a neighborhood teenage baby-sitter hired for
       | $8/hour to watch kids.
       | 
       | > Plus, they aren't as likely to be moved to different schools or
       | communities, and as a result they have better mental health and
       | do better in school.
       | 
       | This is a very odd statement to make; the foster care system
       | around here always tries to place children geographically close.
       | It's logistically easier, so even lazy social workers will do
       | this. The one case where a child was placed with me for which
       | there was willing and able kin was because it was not feasible
       | for the child to make the mandatory visits with birth mom if
       | placed so far away.
       | 
       | > Some states also pay less to kinship caregivers than licensed
       | foster care parents
       | 
       | Perverse incentives around remuneration dog _any_ government
       | program. California does seem to have addressed a lot of these in
       | the past couple of decades.
       | 
       | Not mentioned in TFA, but the increase in drug addictions is
       | probably part of what is driving increases in kinship care; there
       | are plenty of adults with serious drug addiction problems that
       | have close family that does not. With other forms of abuse and
       | neglect, it tends to be something that has been a cross-
       | generational pattern.
        
         | maybedks wrote:
         | I was in foster care in WA.
         | 
         | I was placed with "kin" and was abused further, then back to
         | foster care, then placed with "kin" and abused further, then
         | back to foster care, then placed with "kin" and was large
         | enough to not be abused in the same way, then aged out and
         | never spoke with those people again. The same with my brother
         | (who is now addicted to drugs, living on the streets) and my
         | sisters (went to different side of family, eventually adopted
         | out, still went through drugs/homelessness).
         | 
         | Reflecting on it as an adult -- the "kin" experienced the same
         | hardships, culture, values, and limitations in every case as my
         | parents. Outside of straight up abuse (which was present within
         | foster care and with "kin") the problem wasn't really with
         | individuals (my parents or other guardians), it was poverty and
         | problems stemming from poverty (e.g. drug abuse, homelessness).
         | Everyone in my family and community was poor, and had been for
         | generations, so I got fucked over by the system again and
         | again. I lucked out of that cycle, but my siblings (and now
         | their kids) did not.
        
           | gowld wrote:
           | It's a very hard problem. Not all parents and kin are
           | talented or loving caregivers. Similarly for foster parents,
           | who may be looking for a victim to abuse or exploit for
           | funding.
           | 
           | Parents generally have a strong biological emotional bond to
           | their children, and people who have lived together for mny
           | years often develop a bond too. It's hard to create that bond
           | if it's failed or never existed.
        
         | jvanderbot wrote:
         | I'm a CA foster parent, and growing up my family fostered in
         | WI.
         | 
         | What you say is absolutely true. The trope of the neglectful,
         | greedy foster parent is impossible to get away from. And if you
         | provide love and care for the child, then you are trying to
         | 'steal' it. Despite the fact that we formed our lives around
         | these kids, made sure they visited and had frequent FaceTime
         | with parents, we were still bullied by parents and agencies
         | alike. The agencies will not hesitate to lie to foster parents
         | to get you to agree to take a child into your home, and parents
         | will not hesitate to lie to the state to get the child moved
         | out. And both will throw you under the bus if anything goes
         | wrong. Agencies receive 3/4 of the funding that should go to a
         | child's care, apparently so irresponsible foster parents don't
         | spend it?
         | 
         | Our most recent was a happy case, with the child being reunited
         | with a healthy mother, and dad not being anywhere near. A
         | friend had her life broken by two very high-need children born
         | addicts with no parents around. She got them healthy, endured
         | their severe behavioral issues and carted them to specialists
         | many times a week. And every time she wanted to find a new
         | foster family because she was out of money or just burnt out,
         | the agency told her that 'adoption was right around the corner'
         | to keep her engaged. Right up until they showed up to take them
         | away with no notice. It was sick.
         | 
         | I never suggest anyone get into foster care. It's a broken
         | system.
        
           | gowld wrote:
           | > I never suggest anyone get into foster care. It's a broken
           | system.
           | 
           | The good foster parents doing get into it for the system, so
           | how bad the system is doesn't matter. They get into it
           | because they want to help a child.
        
             | aidenn0 wrote:
             | At some point it gets bad enough that you look for other
             | ways to help children...
        
           | MisterBastahrd wrote:
           | It's a shame, but I have personal experience with shit-tier
           | foster parents who "took care of" my own adopted children
           | whose birth mother is an absolute piece of human waste and
           | whose fathers were never identified.
           | 
           | My toddler was brought to us at 11 months without the
           | capability of turning himself onto his stomach. He had hair
           | missing from the back of his head because he laid in a crib
           | all day long.
           | 
           | The other one was physically and verbally abused by the
           | children of the foster parents she was staying with. This is
           | after being taken out of her original household because her
           | mother had a tendency to live and do drugs with pedophiles.
           | Other than her school clothes, all the rest of her clothing
           | was too small for her, so she's got photos of a Disney trip
           | (the foster parents were "Disney adults" who would save up
           | foster money to go on trips) in her school uniform while the
           | biokids were in normal kid clothes.
        
             | jvanderbot wrote:
             | I'm very sorry to hear that. It breaks my heart when this
             | happens. (it's why we got into foster care!)
             | 
             | Luckily, we bought and were gifted so many clothes for our
             | foster kid that our own bio kids are now wearing them after
             | they left.
        
         | fennecfoxen wrote:
         | > Not to pick on the person quoted in this article, but this
         | attitude exists all around the system; there is an implicit
         | assumption that foster parents care less about the foster
         | children than a neighborhood teenage baby-sitter hired for
         | $8/hour to watch kids.
         | 
         | Unfortunately, there may be reasons that they assume this. Just
         | for instance: one of every _three_ kids in foster care are
         | prescribed psychotropic medications, gravely alarming the
         | American Academy of Pediatrics. Notably, foster parents taking
         | care of a child on such a medication are paid much, much more
         | than they would if the child is not. The statistics on child
         | abuse in foster care are alarming as well.
        
           | aidenn0 wrote:
           | Again things vary from state to state, but in CA, I couldn't
           | give my foster children Tylenol without a doctor's orders,
           | and all psychotropic medication was due to referrals by
           | county appointed psychologists.
           | 
           | Also, being prescribed medication does not change the
           | payment. There is an additional payment for children with
           | certain specific diagnoses, but that is only loosely related
           | to medication; a child with a generalized anxiety disorder,
           | for example, would not qualify for extra payments, but might
           | be prescribed anti-anxiety medication.
           | 
           | Also, w.r.t. the one-in-three statistic, the most common side
           | effect of prenatal exposure to methamphetamine is ADHD, and
           | if you send an elementary-school aged boy with ADHD symptoms
           | to public school, you are likely to have medication
           | recommended.
           | 
           | > The statistics on child abuse in foster care are alarming
           | as well.
           | 
           | I'm not going to say there aren't abusive foster parents
           | (because obviously there are), but it is probably hard to
           | measure the level of abuse. I lost count of the number of
           | (unsubstantiated) allegations made against me, and I can
           | assure you I didn't abuse any of my children (foster or
           | otherwise).
        
             | fennecfoxen wrote:
             | > Again things vary from state to state, but in CA, I
             | couldn't give my foster children Tylenol without a doctor's
             | orders, and all psychotropic medication was due to
             | referrals by county appointed psychologists.
             | 
             | I understand California had this particular scandal in 2016
             | and passed some reforms. This is probably a consequence.
        
               | aidenn0 wrote:
               | This is going back to 2009, but so much in CA is left to
               | the counties, that I 100% believe this happened in other
               | places.
        
         | nonameiguess wrote:
         | I am attempting to become a foster parent in Texas and have had
         | a similar experience. Placing with kin and even "fictive kin"
         | (effectively, anyone the child already knows whether related or
         | not) is always the first priority over placement with licensed
         | foster families. I wouldn't even say this is entirely because
         | of foster family shortages. It's just what they'd prefer to do
         | even if every option is open.
         | 
         | And yes, the system does treat us like crap. I don't even
         | really want to foster, let alone try to get rich exploiting
         | state payments for caring for kids. One, you can't. The
         | expenses will always exceed whatever they pay you. I've already
         | spent upwards of $80k on house modifications and buying a new
         | car to comply with everything the licensing agencies said I had
         | to do and that's before getting a single placement and spending
         | anything on the actual kid (it does include pre-furnishing a
         | child's bedroom, though). What I'm really trying to do is
         | adopt, and since I've worked in the foster care system before
         | (in California 15 years ago), I figured I'd give it a shot
         | there as a I know kids who emancipate from the system without
         | ever being adopted have absolutely terrible outcomes, even
         | compared to other kids who have been in foster care. But, at
         | least in Texas, there is no way to become licensed to adopt
         | without also being licensed to foster, and because they
         | privatized the entire system, you can only get licensed through
         | a placement agency, and their own priority is placing kids in
         | foster care. They don't seem to give a crap about the kids who
         | are already legally free, and have even gone so far as to
         | discourage being open about looking to adopt because apparently
         | the state is reluctant to even place kids with you at all since
         | their priority is the exact opposite, to reunite with the birth
         | parents.
         | 
         | It's honestly getting to the point that it's enough to just
         | give up and go for private adoption instead, which we were
         | initially reluctant to do because 1) I actually want to help
         | the most vulnerable, worst-off kids if I can, and 2) it is very
         | hard to tell who and what is remotely legitimate in the world
         | of private adoption and who is just bullying teenage girls into
         | not getting abortions and then extorting people like me who
         | have money but are not biologically able to have their own
         | kids. Who'd have thought the foster care system would manage to
         | be even worse than that?
        
           | aidenn0 wrote:
           | > I don't even really want to foster, let alone try to get
           | rich exploiting state payments for caring for kids. One, you
           | can't. The expenses will always exceed whatever they pay you.
           | 
           | I'm sure if you are sufficiently neglectful you could
           | probably turn a profit.
           | 
           | > They don't seem to give a crap about the kids who are
           | already legally free, and have even gone so far as to
           | discourage being open about looking to adopt because
           | apparently the state is reluctant to even place kids with you
           | at all since their priority is the exact opposite, to reunite
           | with the birth parents.
           | 
           | In California it actually used to be illegal for foster
           | parents to adopt the children they had fostered, due to the
           | conflict of interest. They changed that, and we encountered
           | no issues fostering as willing to adopt (and in fact Judges
           | would move kids to homes like ours to light a fire under
           | birth parents; a "move towards permanency"). However, we were
           | told by our agency that we were, under no circumstances, to
           | directly raise any objections to reunification with the
           | county, but to instead relay through them. Anything that even
           | looks like interfering with reunification is a huge no-no.
        
           | gowld wrote:
           | I suspect that foster care for non-babies fundamentally can't
           | work at the required scale. The best hope is well-funded,
           | well-staffed, well-audited orphanages (but call them
           | "boarding schools").
        
             | aidenn0 wrote:
             | System is moving in the opposite direction. The county I'm
             | in banned "group homes" because outcomes are worse in group
             | homes, and foster homes will magically appear if we ban
             | group homes (they didn't, instead they paid for kids to be
             | in group homes in neighboring counties, until enough places
             | found loopholes in the ban).
        
       | gpvos wrote:
       | https://archive.ph/rexM0
        
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