[HN Gopher] Some languages pay closer attention to family ties t...
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       Some languages pay closer attention to family ties than others
        
       Author : edward
       Score  : 24 points
       Date   : 2022-06-08 19:44 UTC (3 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.economist.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.economist.com)
        
       | hargup wrote:
       | Hindi distinguishes between your father's younger brother
       | (Chacha) and elder brothere (Tau). Grand children have different
       | names depending on if they are from the daughter or son. I made
       | my mom write down all the relationship names in Hindi, and there
       | are some 34 of them https://yobabita.medium.com/family-
       | relationship-names-in-hin...
       | 
       | P.S.: Original article is paywalled, couldn't read
        
         | kaesar14 wrote:
         | The same thing with Telugu - found this horribly confusing as a
         | child. Link to Telugu:
         | https://web.cs.ucdavis.edu/~vemuri/classes/freshman/family.h...
         | 
         | One thing I always thought was interesting was the value placed
         | in having names for marital ties - we treat relations through
         | marriage with not much specific vocabulary in English, with
         | -in-law being inserted for closer relations like brothers and
         | sisters but not for cousin or uncle, for instance. I wonder if
         | Old English had better terminology for such relations that have
         | dropped in the modern version of the language.
        
       | ginko wrote:
       | >Spanish, for example, has a term for your spouse's sibling's
       | husband
       | 
       | Can't read the full article so I don't know if it's mentioned but
       | in German that would be your Schwippschwager.
        
       | jablala wrote:
       | Learning Turkish for my SO has caused me a lot of pain. Forget
       | the fact that she has ~20 aunties and uncles trying to remember
       | their names and "role" is a hell of a job!
        
       | vt85 wrote:
        
       | HKH2 wrote:
       | In Mandarin there are so many titles, and even family friends can
       | get them.
       | 
       | I'm glad that in English we can just call someone by their first
       | name (with a simple title if need be) and ignore all the
       | awkwardness of not knowing someone's title when we want to
       | address them for the first time.
        
         | vore wrote:
         | To make matters worse, due to the influence of the other
         | Sinitic languages (Wu, Yue, Min, etc.), Mandarin actually has
         | regional variations of a lot of these words as well!
        
         | keybored wrote:
         | English is way to formal with its sirs, ma'ams, doctors,
         | professors, and so on.
        
         | zoomablemind wrote:
         | >... In Mandarin there are so many titles, and even family
         | friends can get them.
         | 
         | I also heard that it's customary to mention the titles instead
         | of resp. names.
         | 
         | That is instead of saying Aunt Jane, they'd need to say a
         | specific title in the father's or mother's hierarchy.
        
           | HKH2 wrote:
           | That's definitely the case for relatives of previous
           | generations. You never address them by name.
        
       | hunglee2 wrote:
       | More than 'close attention' in Chinese languages - every term of
       | address is a signifier of your relationship with that person,
       | with the rule of thumb being that you can only address people by
       | name if they are equal or lower in social hierarchy, which is
       | essentially based on age. Anyone who is 'superior' to you in
       | hierarchy must be addressed by title, which is contextual to your
       | relationship to that person and often times only used in that
       | relationship.
       | 
       | i/e my (younger) cousin addresses me as 'second-older-brother-
       | cousin'. She is the only one that does, or can
        
       | belkarx wrote:
       | Unpaywalled link:
       | https://web.archive.org/web/20220603015344/https://www.econo...)
        
       | ZainRiz wrote:
       | Urdu even has words to describe your exact relationship to
       | different cousins: - "cousin brother from my father's sister's
       | kids" - "cousin sister from my mother's brother's kids" - and
       | even "cousin brother from my father's _oldest_ brother 's kids"
       | 
       | There's also a word for "wife's sister's husband", which is "hum
       | zulf". But I spent almost a decade thinking the word was "hum
       | zulm", which literally translates to "co-victim"
        
         | hunglee2 wrote:
         | how interesting. the same case in most chinese languages
        
         | el-salvador wrote:
         | Spanish distinguishes between cousins from your parent's
         | siblings (primos hermanos), and cousins from your parent's
         | cousins (primos).
        
           | samatman wrote:
           | As does English, the former are first cousins, the latter
           | second cousins.
        
       | throwawaymaths wrote:
       | I think Japanese is more interesting than that; while they are
       | pronounced the same, mother's side aunt and uncle and father's
       | side aunt and uncle are _written_ differently.
        
       | gnicholas wrote:
       | > _Spanish even distinguishes cunado (brother-in-law by blood
       | relation to your spouse) from concunado, your spouse's sibling's
       | husband--something like "co-brother-in-law"._
       | 
       | I've thought it confusing that English doesn't have separate
       | terms for my brother's wife and my wife's sister (both of which
       | are simply "sister-in-law"). Why are we content to describe these
       | people as people of the same generation who are not blood
       | relatives? This doesn't even get into the Spanish example above,
       | which refers to two degrees of marriage separation.
        
         | delecti wrote:
         | On the other hand, I think it's weird that there's a term for
         | it at all. For how often I need to refer to either concept,
         | "brother's wife" and "wife's sister" are both easy enough to
         | say.
         | 
         | But it doesn't surprise me that we refer to then as people of
         | the same generation; it's not much different from "step-
         | brother" in that regard.
        
           | [deleted]
        
         | paganel wrote:
         | > Why are we content to describe these people as people of the
         | same generation who are not blood relatives?
         | 
         | Probably because the inhabitants of Britain decided at a
         | certain point do ditch their Roman heritage. Romanian, a
         | Romance langauge, is very similar to Spanish, we have _cumnat_
         | for _cunado_ , _soacra_ for the Spanish _suegra_ (mother-in-
         | law) and _cuscri_ for _consuegros_ , which goes to show that
         | the family ties expressed by Romanian and Spanish most
         | certainly come from the common ancestor that was Latin, and not
         | from the "surrounding" societal norms (so to speak) or
         | something like that.
         | 
         | Maybe us (I'm Romanian myself) having a distinct word for
         | _cumnat_ might have slightly changed how we view that family
         | tie over the centuries, but it was not the distinctiveness of
         | that family tie per se that  "created" that special term,
         | because we inherited that word from the Romans.
        
         | el-salvador wrote:
         | > Spanish even distinguishes cunado (brother-in-law by blood
         | relation to your spouse) from concunado, your spouse's
         | sibling's husband--something like "co-brother-in-law".
         | 
         | I learnt something new today. So the English in-laws concept
         | includes both one's spouse's sibling's, and sopuse's sibling's
         | spouse?
        
           | lmm wrote:
           | IMO it doesn't. I would say my sister-in-law's husband.
        
         | forty wrote:
         | It's the same in French, and I came to the conclusion that it
         | must be for symmetry reasons: you are the brother in law of
         | your sister in law (switch/replace genders as appropriate). I
         | think it makes sense.
        
       | abhishekjha wrote:
       | What I miss in English is you don't know if you talking about
       | somebody younger or elder : aap (You, elder) and tum (You,
       | younger).
        
         | el-salvador wrote:
         | I miss some things in English too:
         | 
         | - Not being able to specify in one word if a friend is a male
         | friend or female friend like amigo/amiga in Spanish.
         | 
         | - The words for friend, boyfriend and girlfriend are too
         | similar. While in spanish amigo/novio, amiga/novia are
         | completely different.
         | 
         | - Not having one word descriptors for someone's ethnicity, as
         | those have to be used very carefully or can't be used in
         | English ag all. Like "Avisale el chelito que la zarca lo esta
         | esperando para ir a la tienda del chino" (common in my dialect
         | of Spanish). "Tell the white-person that the light-eyed-person
         | is waiting for him to go to the store owned by the asian-
         | person" (very unnatural in English).
        
         | keybored wrote:
         | Sadly that can't be done, son.
        
         | forty wrote:
         | I'm curious, in which context does it matter?
         | 
         | I know that this is a very cultural thing - as an example here
         | in France it's completely unimportant, you would simply address
         | kids (or at least younger kids) a bit differently than adults,
         | but appart from that the age difference does not matter at all
         | (and culturally it's important to know whether someone is a kid
         | or not, because, to simplify, kids are legally "irresponsible",
         | cannot vote, purchase alcohol, etc and some adults must have
         | legal authority over them)
        
         | jfk13 wrote:
         | Ah, Hindi. That's not strictly about age, though, is it? It's
         | as much about relative social status (though age may be one
         | factor in that). So you'd potentially say aap to a younger
         | person than yourself in order to show proper respect, e.g. if
         | they're an important official or similar figure.
        
       | gumby wrote:
       | Funny, though I didn't grow up speaking Marathi (it was extremely
       | frowned upon where I was born) I needed an extensive set of
       | family (and food) words in order to speak with relatives. It's
       | quite common to refer to someone by how you are related to them
       | (mother's brother's wife: maamii, mami); the problem is when
       | someone in a conversation you have to know how _you_ are related
       | to the speaker so that when they say  "father's sister" (aatyaa,
       | Atya) they are referring to the same person.
       | 
       | What makes this interesting is that (as somebody pointed out to
       | me years ago) I carried this habit into my main language,
       | English. Not that I say anything as specific as "mother's
       | brother's wife" -- I just say "my aunt" but apparently I
       | frequently refer to people by connection (your sister) rather
       | than by their name.
        
       | shaggyfrog wrote:
       | There's a great video by NativLang on different kinship systems:
       | https://youtu.be/YOi2c2d3_Lk
        
       | rahimnathwani wrote:
       | Related threads:
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28712667
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20341855
        
         | naniwaduni wrote:
         | Some languages, like Swift,
        
           | andrewjl wrote:
           | Judging from the CN prefix, that is all Objective-C. Thank
           | you global namespacing! Swift doesn't have this issue due to
           | compiler-support for mangling.
        
       | hosh wrote:
       | Manderin has non-gendered pronouns referring to a person
       | (something missing in English), and a wealth of words referring
       | to family relations relative to the person speaking. It's rude
       | for someone to refer to an older relation by name, and so it's
       | always done by the relational words. There are special terms for
       | extended relations on the father's side of the family. It is
       | particularly rude to refer to a family member by the generic,
       | non-gendered pronoun, because that indicates the speaker does not
       | have any relation with that person at all.
       | 
       | These words encourages a more collectivist rather than an
       | individual mindset with biases based on the person's seniority.
       | That can be good and bad. For example, there's less room for
       | identity politics in day-to-day speech, and in turn, you're
       | reminded in detail of relations and roles. Korean has something
       | similar. South Korea had to retrain their airline pilots to speak
       | in English during flight operations because those very same
       | relational words do not allow for flow of critical information
       | and contributed towards crashes.
        
         | mint2 wrote:
         | > These words encourages a more collectivist rather than an
         | individual mindset with biases based on the person's seniority
         | 
         | I don't follow how very specific relational pronouns leads
         | equality. Explain.
        
           | akdor1154 wrote:
           | The unempathetic programmer in me says it prevents
           | bikeshedding and the subsequent emotionally charged conflict.
           | 
           | (The lefty liberal in me says don't be a cunt to people)
        
           | hosh wrote:
           | I don't claim that it leads to equality. That's a problematic
           | assertion.
           | 
           | I said that the relational words in Mandarin leads to (and
           | enforces) a collectivist rather than than individualist
           | mindset. There is less semantics about identity and more
           | about relations. Identity is a reference to a self, whereas
           | relational words refer to how a self relates to another self.
           | The emphasis is on the relation -- and the social
           | expectations, responsibilities, and priveledges of that
           | relation, and less on the identity of either the speaker or
           | the person the speaker refers to.
           | 
           | So for example, I wouldn't say "Bob". I'd say "my da-ge" (big
           | older brother). When I use the latter in conversations with
           | other people, those people knows I have this relation I can
           | lean on. When referring to younger siblings, I might not even
           | use their names even if I could do so without being rude. I
           | might say to someone else, "my xiao-de", my little brother,
           | making an implicit claim that this person is family, under my
           | protection. Whether the kid is worthy of such protection,
           | whether I personally want to or not, is secondary that there
           | is a relation and there are expectations that goes with it.
        
             | mint2 wrote:
             | I don't know if I agree, that seems more tribalism than
             | collectivism. In comparing Bob, Jane and smith or similar
             | nondescript lao baixing names vs distinguishing family/non
             | family plus exact hierarchical familiar relation, it
             | doesn't seem hierarchical exact relations is more communal.
             | Opinions can differ.
        
         | googlryas wrote:
         | > non-gendered pronouns referring to a person (something
         | missing in English)
         | 
         | "they"? People pushing for "they/them" pronoun acceptance are
         | always quick to point out "singular they" (even though the
         | usage is quite contextual and limited).
        
           | hosh wrote:
           | RMS tried to promote the use of "perse", "per", derived from
           | "person". As with anything, accepted usage depends on if it
           | becomes viral.
        
         | kodah wrote:
         | > Manderin has non-gendered pronouns referring to a person
         | (something missing in English)
         | 
         | English actually has a complicated gender neutrality history.
         | For instance, it used to be that only women had a specific
         | pronoun while what we regard today as male pronouns used to be
         | neutral [1]. We also have "they"/"them" which have been
         | historically baked into the language for these purposes.
         | 
         | 1: https://las.illinois.edu/news/2020-01-29/tracing-history-
         | gen...
        
           | hosh wrote:
           | Yeah. I forgot that written Chinese has Ta  as the generic
           | and Ta  as the gendered one specific for women. In Mandarin,
           | Ta  and Ta  are both pronounced the same.
        
           | usrn wrote:
           | They/them is only plural. It works ok in writing but IMO it
           | sounds _really_ weird to use it in casual conversation. I
           | used to agree with the APA style guide that you should just
           | use them but lately I 've been having second thoughts.
        
             | tessierashpool wrote:
             | this is a common misconception, but it isn't true, and it
             | hasn't been true since the days of Shakespeare, who used
             | they/them as a singular. Jane Austen did the same thing. I
             | don't know who misinformed you on this topic, but I am
             | willing to bet it was not a writer of that caliber. I think
             | we can safely consider Shakespeare and Austen to be experts
             | in the English language.
        
             | samatman wrote:
             | This isn't true though, they has used for centuries as an
             | indefinite singular pronoun, like "oh someone left their
             | umbrella, they probably want that back let's see if there's
             | a tag".
             | 
             | It is the case that using it as a definite singular is new,
             | and we'll see if that lasts.
        
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