[HN Gopher] Ask HN: Why can't I host my own email?
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Ask HN: Why can't I host my own email?
        
       I can host my own Mastodon server, or all kinds of other novelty /
       fun things which don't seem easily decentralized.  Email feels like
       one of the most decentralized internet concepts, and ironically
       it's seemingly the one thing I _can 't_ self-host unless, from what
       I've heard, I enjoy being permanently marked as spam / blacklisted.
       What's going on? How do we fix this?
        
       Author : warent
       Score  : 256 points
       Date   : 2022-04-27 14:31 UTC (8 hours ago)
        
       | gvb wrote:
       | You _can_ set up your own email server. There isn 't anything to
       | "fix" (unless you can "fix" all the spammers) but does require
       | setting up SPF in your DNS and it helps to support DKIM/DMARC.
       | Also, your internet provider / VPN host likely blocks port 25; if
       | that is the case, you need to use a "smart host" email relay
       | service.
       | 
       | https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=self+ho...
       | 
       | https://www.google.com/search?q=self+hosted+email+server
       | 
       | https://www.google.com/search?q=dkim+dmarc+spf
        
       | jbverschoor wrote:
       | Yes, SMTP is amazing. It's a decentralized, fault tolerant
       | messaging protocol. Civ2 used to have multiplayer over SMTP.
        
       | blenderdt wrote:
       | I host my own email and never get marked as spam.
       | 
       | One fantastic tool is: https://www.mail-tester.com/
       | 
       | And another is Gmail. When you send an email to Gmail you can see
       | some spam info in the headers which you can use to fix problems.
       | 
       | I just hope I never get blacklisted. Sometimes you can fix this
       | by sending the blacklist a message but this is not always
       | possible.
        
       | excitom wrote:
       | I hosted my own email server from 1995 to 2010 (Solaris on a Sun
       | IPC, sendmail and IMAP compiled from source). What finally drove
       | me to move my domain to gmail was the spam.
        
       | pwg wrote:
       | You certainly /can/ self host. I've been self hosting my own
       | email since circa 1999 on my home internet link. I've been
       | through four different ISP's in the ensuing 22 years, but email
       | still flows.
       | 
       | What often happens is that virtual hosting firms (Linode, Digital
       | Ocean, etc.) are often used by spammer's for their hosting too,
       | and so if you try to host by renting a "cloud vm" or "cloud
       | server" and are unlucky to have an IP address a spammer
       | previously poisoned, or just happen to be in the same netblock as
       | a prior spammer, you find your new IP often 'blocked' from the
       | big services, for no good reason than you happen to be from a
       | "bad neighborhood". And this is usually the genesis for all the
       | scary stories about "can't self host".
       | 
       | But reality is, you can self host, but you do have to set things
       | up with all the modern requirements (SPIF, DKIM, etc.) as well.
        
       | tenebrisalietum wrote:
       | You can host your own email. I do.
       | 
       | What you can't do easily is talk to other large public email
       | servers. Which I don't.
       | 
       | My home email server receives email I send to it, but won't
       | forward email to other domains. This is very useful - basically
       | anything on the iPhone is shareable via email, so now I can
       | capture a copy of things outside of the phone easily and
       | privately from anywhere without having to go through an untrusted
       | third party such as Google.
       | 
       | In addition to having SMTP setup, I have IMAP setup, so I can
       | retrieve email from my phone or other email client that various
       | other self-hosted services on my local network generate, or my
       | desktop PC running Thunderbird.
       | 
       | I do have to monitor logs as I get regular password-guessing
       | attempts on the services. I have a script that checks for
       | repeated failed logins or other bad behaviors and adds malicious
       | IPs to a blocklist ipset.
       | 
       | It would be interesting to federate with others and participate
       | in a private SMTP network. I'm sure these already exist.
        
       | walrus01 wrote:
       | no matter how impeccable your rdns, spf, dkim and dmarc
       | configuration is, even if you're an absolute _master_ of
       | configuring postfix and opendkim, etc, your outbound smtp
       | deliverability success rate is going to be very much dependent on
       | the reputation of your IP space.
       | 
       | the best possible IP space will be somewhere that the entire /24
       | and parent /22 or larger block does not belong to anybody else's
       | low cost VPS, VM, dedicated server or shared hosting. Which is
       | hard to find these days unless you personally know somebody at a
       | mid sized regional ISP that can sell you a custom package of
       | colocation and some small sized piece of public IP space (like a
       | /28 or /29 for your server) in known clean IP ranges.
        
       | micromacrofoot wrote:
       | You _can_ do it, but spam filters are so extreme that you may
       | find your mail goes undelivered or auto-filtered into spam.
       | 
       | Small _hosting companies_ struggle with email deliverability, so
       | you have to ask yourself if it 's something you want to deal
       | with. Sometimes if you end up on a blocklist there's no easy way
       | to get off of it, and you may find yourself unable to get an
       | email into someone's inbox until you have the time to redo a lot
       | of work (moving to different servers, IPs, etc).
       | 
       | From my perspective, you're better off using your time to do
       | literally anything else unless email is something you want a very
       | deep understanding of.
        
       | skyde wrote:
       | if i'm not mistaken this happen because e-mail server don't have
       | an identity.
       | 
       | it's too easy for scammer to create a domain name.
       | 
       | or is it only because smtp doesn't have any kind of
       | authentication and rely only on IP adress?
        
         | shmoe wrote:
         | out of the box this is the case, but improvements like
         | DKIM/DMARC/SPF etc have allowed for a bit more authentication
        
       | Arch-TK wrote:
       | You can host your own email. I do it. I don't really have many
       | problems. Every now and again someone's misconfigured mail server
       | decides that my email is spam but really this doesn't matter to
       | me so much. At least the major email providers that everyone else
       | seems to use happily accept my emails.
        
       | senko wrote:
       | You can. I did that for decades until I got tired of maintaining
       | that server.
       | 
       | Use a reputable VPS provider (one that's not likely to tolerate
       | their customers being spammers), once you get the server check
       | the IP against various blacklists (get a new server / IP if that
       | happens). Make sure you set up your SSL certs and DKIM, SPF and
       | DMARC properly.
       | 
       | Across the years, I had _very_ few instances where my outgoing
       | mail ended up in someone 's spam box.
        
       | pxeger1 wrote:
       | A simple way to get most of the benefits of self-hosted email
       | (run from your own domain, keep full control of your data, manage
       | mailboxes yourself, etc.) without the problem of being marked as
       | spam is to use a service like Amazon SES as an SMTP relay.
        
       | rsync wrote:
       | There's a lot to say here from both sides - people running their
       | own mail infrastructure (like I have for almost 25 years) and big
       | mail providers dealing with brutal, unrelenting spam.
       | 
       | But there is one piece of this that's ridiculous, broken and
       | almost cruel: silently dropping messages marked as "spam" with no
       | notification given back to the sender.
       | 
       | Why does this practice exist ? Who believes that this is decent
       | or acceptable behavior ?
       | 
       | If gmail doesn't want my inbound message - for any reason - that
       | is just fine.
       | 
       | If they drop it on the floor without telling me that is _totally
       | shitty_.
        
         | denton-scratch wrote:
         | Mailservers drop mail on the floor because they are doing spam-
         | filtering AFTER accepting mail for final delivery. Once it's
         | been accepted for final delivery, it can no longer be rejected.
         | 
         | The delivery server doesn't generate the bounce message you
         | were expecting; that's generated by your own mailserver, on
         | seeing a REJECT status code from the delivery server.
         | 
         | Mailservers do spam-filtering after accepting for final
         | delivery because spam filtering can be processor-intensive.
         | Sometimes it's farmed-out to an appliance or whatever. To have
         | the SMTP process suspended while Spamassassin goes through it's
         | contortions multiplies the consumption of server resources on
         | the SMTP server.
         | 
         | The delivery server CAN'T (and shouldn't) send you the desired
         | bounce message, because it doesn't really know who you are. It
         | can't rely on the From: address, because you could be sending
         | on behalf of someone else.
         | 
         | In my view (and the view of the RFCs), if a server says "200 OK
         | Accepted for final delivery", then it MUST deliver the message.
         | 
         | There's an awful lot of the kind of server-side spam-filtering
         | that does actually involve delivering: the kind that filters
         | mail into the recipient's spam folder. That mail hasn't been
         | dropped on the floor. It's been delivered, just not to the
         | inbox.
        
           | rsync wrote:
           | You've described how _my mailserver_ should work.
           | 
           | I'm willing to stipulate that this is correct and would, in
           | my case, be a difficult problem to solve.
           | 
           | But nobody is losing job offers or missing kids' schedules or
           | breaking their summer plans because of _my mailserver_.
           | 
           | I am talking about gmail. I am talking about MS (whatever it
           | is). I am talking about yahoo.com.
           | 
           | Their spam heuristics are, in many cases, laughably bad -
           | they are demonstrably, clearly broken. If I email my wife
           | twice daily for 15 years and then one of my _responses to her
           | emails_ gets put in the gmail spam folder ... what words to
           | even use for that ?
           | 
           | They need to fix this. I don't care how sticky of a problem
           | it is.
        
             | denton-scratch wrote:
             | > they are demonstrably, clearly broken
             | 
             | Well, gmail, MS and Yahoo have their own ideas about what
             | "broken" means. Google in particular forces changes to
             | standards by simply implementing them in their own
             | services. Those changes _never_ make it easier for small-
             | fry postmasters; so I conclude that Google would like all
             | small-fry mailservers to disappear.
             | 
             | Discrimation through spam-filtering isn't unthinkable, and
             | it would be hard to prove (especially if they claimed there
             | was "AI" involved in the filters). Google used to have
             | really good spam filtering; I can only suppose that the
             | reason it's got worse is that they want it worse.
        
             | elric wrote:
             | $employer uses MS for email hosting. MS recently started
             | dumping every single email from every single Apache mailing
             | list in the spam folder. These are mailing lists to which
             | I've been subscribed for a decade, to which I regularly
             | send emails, and which probably have thousands of
             | subscribers. There is no option for me to whitelist the
             | mailing list, only individual senders, of which there are
             | hundreds.
             | 
             | Everything about megacorp spam filtering is broken.
        
         | eminence32 wrote:
         | I run my own mail personal mail server, and do my own spam
         | filtering. Things that are likely spam get delivered into a
         | spam folder for the occasional review, but things that are
         | extremely likely get rejected entirely (with a "spam rejected"
         | message).
         | 
         | I guess my feeling is: if I want to quarantine suspected spam
         | without telling the sender, that's my prerogative -- why does
         | the sender get any say in this?
        
           | rstupek wrote:
           | I don't think he's saying you can't quarantine spam if you
           | choose. What his complaint is, I send you an email, your mail
           | server says it accepted it, the email is then just discarded
           | entirely (not put in a spam folder).
        
         | Someone wrote:
         | I would think returned spam would have to be checked for being
         | spam by servers receiving the returned messages.
         | 
         | If they don't do that and decide whether checking is needed
         | based on presence of some mail headers, or using heuristics on
         | the subject line, spammers will start faking returned messages.
         | 
         | I think that makes it expensive to return spam.
         | https://99firms.com/blog/spam-statistics/ says about half of
         | all e-mail is spam, so returning that would increase e-mail
         | traffic and spam checking by 50%.
        
           | GoblinSlayer wrote:
           | A bounce message can be very small, specifying only three
           | fields: To, From, Date to identify the rejected message.
           | Compared to this spam messages would be much bigger,
           | consisting of html, css, javascript, pdf attachmens, zipped
           | executables etc. The message could be sent to a fixed
           | address, like abuse@same.server; how to check messages on
           | that address is a different story as it's not user messages,
           | but technical messages.
        
         | bityard wrote:
         | > If they drop it on the floor without telling me that is
         | totally shitty.
         | 
         | No, it's the ONLY reasonable thing to do when something like
         | 98% of all SMTP traffic on the Internet is spam.
         | 
         | If mail administrators bounce back an explanation for every
         | "bad" message:
         | 
         | 1) Their outbound mail volume would go through the roof.
         | 
         | 2) The host sending all the bounces would look like a spammer
         | to _other_ automated spam-classification systems.
         | 
         | 3) In the unlikely event that a spammer actually reads
         | bounches, they could use the feedback to tweak their systems to
         | avoid the spam filters.
        
           | teddyh wrote:
           | What a recieving mail server _should_ do is reply immediately
           | after the DATA command with " _That mail is spam and I refuse
           | to acknowledge recieving it_ ". This would be fair, as the
           | sender would know that the mail was not passed on. What it
           | should _not_ do is to simply say " _Yep, I got this mail now,
           | I'm good!_ " and then _later_ , _silently_ look at the
           | contents of the mail and decide that it's spam and delete it.
        
             | m4lvin wrote:
             | There are sane email providers who do exactly this, for
             | example Posteo -- see question "Is there a spam folder"
             | here: https://posteo.de/en
        
           | jjav wrote:
           | > If mail administrators bounce back an explanation for every
           | "bad" message:
           | 
           | Nobody is talking (I don't thing anyone is) about sending
           | back a bounce message, that would indeed make no sense.
           | 
           | A responsible email server should:
           | 
           | 1) Reject the email during the SMTP conversation if it's
           | going to do that. Then the sender knows it didn't go through
           | because it got the error code. There's nothing to bounce
           | back.
           | 
           | 2) If it accepts the mail during SMTP conversation, then
           | _always deliver_ to the recipient.
           | 
           | 2a) Some disagree, but I think it's totally fine to deliver
           | it to the recipients spam folder if post-processing
           | determines it might be spam. That's not wonderful, but it
           | still got delivered and the recipient can go find it in the
           | spam folder. Most people are used to looking there regularly
           | anyway since many of the larger providers (coughgooglecough)
           | have such terrible false positive rates. The important thing
           | is to never lose email.
           | 
           | What's never ok is to accept the email during SMTP and then
           | silently file it in /dev/null.
        
         | yobbo wrote:
         | I guess the volume of spam-reject messages would dwarf
         | legitimate mail.
        
         | yellow_postit wrote:
         | Responding gives the sender the ability to better explore the
         | detection rule space and find a way to get through.
         | 
         | Exactly what a legitimate sender wants and what a provider
         | would not want to give an adversary. Now the adversary has to
         | also incur a cost to determine successful deliver vs
         | open/engagement rates make it just that much harder.
        
           | GoblinSlayer wrote:
           | In case of gmail you can have an account there and see what
           | goes through.
        
           | lbriner wrote:
           | I think it's a false economy. At best it is security by
           | obscurity.
           | 
           | Google tell you why things are spam and often they even
           | return quite detailed error emails when they don't accept
           | stuff it doesn't benefit an attacker that much. Any decent
           | attacker already knows that they should sign stuff and make
           | identifiers align and can do so trivially easily.
           | 
           | People like Yahoo are the opposite and are completely opaque
           | as if they are doing anything that clever. All they can
           | realistically do is check originating IPs, message content,
           | alignment etc. just like everyone else.
           | 
           | Since I can still a lot of very decent SPAM in my inbox,
           | their lack of transparency clearly doesn't work so they might
           | as well help legitimate senders to deliver stuff properly.
        
             | rsync wrote:
             | "Google tell you why things are spam and often they even
             | return quite detailed error emails when they don't accept
             | stuff ..."
             | 
             | Where are you seeing these details ? I have never seen any
             | bounce messages from messages I send into @gmail.com that
             | end up in a spam folder ...
        
       | jhugo wrote:
       | I've been self-hosting email for about 20 years, from a dedicated
       | server in Europe. The server hardware has been replaced a couple
       | of times but kept its IP.
       | 
       | If you set everything up right, and choose the host for your mail
       | server carefully, and never change IP, after a fairly short time
       | you won't have much problem with being marked as spam. No more so
       | than with any other email host.
       | 
       | As is so often the case, the people that say you should never do
       | it probably have little relevant experience, they are just
       | repeating something they heard.
        
         | pera wrote:
         | It also depends on the reputation of your neighbours / AS...
         | try to setup an e-mail server with a cheap VPS in
         | DigitalOcean|OVH|Hetzner and even if you kept using the same IP
         | address for 10 years I don't think you will be able to relay to
         | gmail
        
           | cpach wrote:
           | I have a friend who is self-hosting on Linode. All mails from
           | her reach my inbox (Gmail).
        
           | flo123456 wrote:
           | I've been doing exactly that for roughly 10 years and never
           | had a problem with Gmail. You just have to set everything up
           | to latest best practices (DKIM etc.). I've even changed IP
           | addresses a couple of times.
        
             | technothrasher wrote:
             | I run two different private email servers, both set up
             | pretty much identically with all the modern "best
             | practices" as you say. One of them is on an address that
             | has been stable for the past 10 years, and on a quality ISP
             | that actually cares about reputation, and mail delivery is
             | mostly not a problem. The other one is on a cheapo ISP, and
             | mail delivery is so poor due to neighboring IP addresses
             | causing me to get block that I gave up and resorted to
             | using a free SendGrid account to relay my outgoing mail
             | through.
        
             | sam_lowry_ wrote:
             | I self-host for 20+ years, the last 12 years on Hetzner.
             | Did some transactional mailings as well professionally. Not
             | spam, but forum notifications, mailing lists.
             | 
             | 2007..2014 were probably the worst. Gmail was chainging
             | often, Microsoft was blocking everyone.
             | 
             | I think self-hosting is easier now than 10 years ago.
        
               | ryandrake wrote:
               | I self-host on Linode, and they occasionally fall into
               | UCEPROTECT level 3 (the ISP-wide blocklist), likely due
               | to a spammer trying to set up business as a Linode
               | client. You can't really do much about ISP-wide
               | blocklists, and honestly mail servers should not
               | aggressively reject E-mail simply because some other
               | rando at the ISP sends spam. I've always had success
               | working with the aggressive mail server admin to get
               | unblocked. Often it's just an E-mail to provider-
               | abuse@provider.com
        
               | bsder wrote:
               | > honestly mail servers should not aggressively reject
               | E-mail simply because some other rando at the ISP sends
               | spam
               | 
               | This is because the business department will try to force
               | admins to ignore requests to remove spammers as the
               | spammers generally pay decent money.
               | 
               | By blocking _everyone_ , it forces the ISP to get off
               | their ass and kill the spammer irrespective of how much
               | they are willing to pay.
        
             | pera wrote:
             | Which provider do you use? (by the way, I didn't mean that
             | every cheap provider will have issues, prgmr/Tornado for
             | instance works great for me)
        
         | nemothekid wrote:
         | You started self hosting before Gmail was a thing. It's
         | completely likely that Google has had you whitelisted since the
         | inception of gmail when they were far more open. The "reputable
         | IP" is the hardest part of delivering mail reliably; and your
         | post says the equivalent of "just have your dad gift you a
         | reputable IP from the 90s"
        
           | jhugo wrote:
           | I'd be very surprised if I was on some kind of static
           | whitelist from the early days of Gmail. Such a list, if it
           | exists, would likely be reserved for much higher-volume
           | sending IPs.
           | 
           | I've helped others set up self hosting much more recently,
           | and haven't had any reputation problems beyond the early
           | period where the IP has no history. (It is important to find
           | an IP that doesn't have recent bad reputation, but that is
           | fairly easy to do. Unless your host is in the business of
           | hosting spammers most IPs will be clean.)
           | 
           | The reality is honestly just that self-hosting mail is not as
           | hard as all the people who don't do it say it is.
        
             | ipaddr wrote:
             | Google would ignore your data because you are too small?
             | 
             | Your ip and those of others who have sent mail to gmail
             | have been recorded.
             | 
             | Your reputation score is high.
             | 
             | Try a new ip and see how hard it is.
        
               | jhugo wrote:
               | It's not exactly _hard_ on a new IP, as long as the IP is
               | clean (which is reasonably simple to ensure, as long as
               | your host isn't in the business of hosting spammers). You
               | just have no reputation to start with, so you can't
               | expect perfect deliverability from day one. But after
               | some time (and we're talking weeks-to-months, not years),
               | you'll be fine.
        
               | ipaddr wrote:
               | Sure if you want a lot of them to go through but not
               | necessarily all. If someone marks your email as spam you
               | may have to start all over again. If you want to send
               | more than a few emails per day you have to warm the ip by
               | sending specific volumes over time. It's doable, easier
               | with a service to help you.
        
           | _moof wrote:
           | I've also been hosting since before Gmail was a thing but
           | have since set up new servers with new domains in
           | disreputable subnets, and I haven't had any deliverability
           | issues. If you configure things right (SPF, DKIM) you won't
           | have problems.
           | 
           | This idea that self-hosted email is impossible is wildly
           | overblown.
        
         | Noughmad wrote:
         | > As is so often the case, the people that say you should never
         | do it probably have little relevant experience, they are just
         | repeating something they heard.
         | 
         | More likely, they're saying that 99% of people don't know how
         | to self-host, and for 99% of the rest it's not worth the
         | trouble. Also, if you have to ask, then you shouldn't self-host
         | it.
        
           | tinsmith wrote:
           | "If you have to ask, you shouldn't be doing it," said the
           | tired old King of Gatekeeping.
           | 
           | For a second, I thought I was on Stackoverflow. If you aren't
           | starting by asking questions about the possibilities or
           | limitations of a system you're about to work in, then you
           | aren't starting properly.
        
             | JohnWhigham wrote:
             | That adage exists because those who really want to do it
             | won't be asking to be spoonfed and will instead start doing
             | the research themselves.
        
               | eddieroger wrote:
               | For perspective, some may perceive doing research as
               | being spoon-fed. Sometimes, you don't know where to start
               | and need a hand. At one point, I didn't know how to turn
               | on a computer, and now I'm a software engineer.
        
               | ehutch79 wrote:
               | The area of 'i barely know how to keep a server running'
               | is a problem for everyone else on the internet as your
               | mail server starts relaying a deluge spam and phishing
               | emails
        
               | tinsmith wrote:
               | I get why it exists, but we also have to be honest with
               | ourselves and admit that there is a massive problem in
               | communicating without assumption of prior
               | knowledge/experience. The tech world is particularly
               | guilty of this, with veterans having forgotten that there
               | was a time when they didn't know what they know, and
               | lacking any patience to adequately help those seeking
               | understanding. To add to the issue, the Internet proper
               | is so noisy with partial or broken information that the
               | task of finding the correct information is far more
               | daunting than it was 20 years ago when I started
               | learning.
               | 
               | We need to give newcomers a break and answer their
               | questions _well,_ and discuss to promote understanding,
               | instead of swatting at them with our canes. The only way
               | knowledge passes to the next generation of thinkers and
               | tinkers is if we fuel that curiousity.
        
               | ehutch79 wrote:
               | Running an email server, that is secure, is not easy. In
               | the mean time, before you're qualified and know what
               | you're doing, your mail server is a danger to others.
               | From being an open relay through just plain unpatched
               | security vulnerabilities. It's not the consequences for
               | you, it's the consequences your fuckups have for everyone
               | else.
               | 
               | There's plenty of other tech they can screw with.
        
           | jjav wrote:
           | > More likely, they're saying that 99% of people don't know
           | how to self-host, and for 99% of the rest it's not worth the
           | trouble.
           | 
           | Certainly way more than 99% of the general population
           | wouldn't know how to self host, but within a techie
           | population like HN, easily ~50% can be capable of doing it if
           | they wanted to. Whether it's worth the effort is a personal
           | decision, but there's a lot of value in owning your own email
           | so I recommend it to anyone who's curious about it and
           | willing to do it.
           | 
           | > Also, if you have to ask, then you shouldn't self-host it.
           | 
           | We should be encouraging curiousity (a HN value) not stomping
           | on it.
           | 
           | If anyone asks, I say go for it. Worst case you'll learn new
           | things, best case now you own your email.
        
           | sosborn wrote:
           | I would amend this to say, "If you have to ask, then you
           | shouldn't self-host it for anything mission critical."
           | 
           | Otherwise, how would anyone learn anything?
        
           | kijin wrote:
           | People who have been hosting their own email for decades like
           | GP probably built up a solid reputation for their domain and
           | IP before spam filtering became such a kafkaesque business
           | and IPv4 blocks became so fragmented.
           | 
           | If you start self-hosting now, you should be prepared to lose
           | quite a few emails randomly for the first X months while
           | everyone else tries to figure out whether you're legit or
           | not. Though I would encourage anyone who can to try to self-
           | host at least some part of their email infrastructure, even
           | if just for the learning experience, I would also recommend
           | that they avoid using self-hosted email for anything
           | business-critical until they're sure they've got the hang of
           | it.
        
             | rhn_mk1 wrote:
             | > you should be prepared to lose quite a few emails
             | randomly for the first X months while everyone else tries
             | to figure out whether you're legit or not
             | 
             | And then prepared to lose quite a few emails consistently
             | for the next 10 years when some decide you're not legit.
             | 
             | Source: I self-host.
        
             | tragictrash wrote:
             | Don't forget about attacks. If you lose control of that
             | domain you are pwnd.
        
               | jhugo wrote:
               | I'll definitely take that (which is largely under my
               | control) over e.g. Google deciding that I've done
               | something wrong one day and cutting off my email.
        
               | tragictrash wrote:
               | I agree with your sentiment, but It's not under your
               | control. It's under the registrar's control. I'd argue
               | registrars are way more prone to social engineering
               | attacks than google is. I also don't use Google as my
               | email provider though.
        
               | jhugo wrote:
               | The choice of registrar is under my control, though.
               | 
               | Also, little-known fact: if you register a UK company
               | (probably more practical if you already have one, but the
               | effort is not actually that big), you can register .uk
               | domains directly with Nominet, the UK registry, by
               | setting yourself up as a self-managed registrar. It
               | doesn't cost anything (beyond the cost of the domain
               | name) and is very easy. I'd love to know if there are any
               | other registries that allow something similar.
        
               | tragictrash wrote:
               | I'm in the USA and would totally bite the bullet and do
               | something like that, if possible
        
             | kuschku wrote:
             | Tip: Start with a solid SPF, DKIM, DMARC policy and
             | register for microsoft, yahoo, etc.'s admin tools and add
             | your domain to google's webmaster and postmaster tools.
             | (Yes, even if Google postmaster won't show you anything
             | yet)
             | 
             | Use mail-tester.com or similar tools to ensure everything
             | is configured correctly.
             | 
             | And then just start sending. As long as your volume grows
             | slowly over the first few months, you'll get basically no
             | rejects.
        
               | kijin wrote:
               | Yep, it takes patience and lots of trial and error to
               | build and maintain a reliable email server, unlike an
               | HTTP server or Minecraft server which you can fire up
               | with a script any time you want. Probably explains why so
               | few people do it successfully.
        
               | Arch-TK wrote:
               | What is the yahoo version of SNDS (the microsoft thing)
               | called?
        
               | bityard wrote:
               | I know about the Google postmaster tools but I'm coming
               | up blank finding anything about Microsoft and Yahoo. Do
               | you (or anyone else) have links to these?
        
               | kuschku wrote:
               | Yahoo has merged theirs with AOL (kinda) and currently
               | they only seem to offer
               | https://senders.yahooinc.com/contact/#complaint-feedback-
               | loo...
        
               | teddyh wrote:
               | Microsoft: https://sendersupport.olc.protection.outlook.c
               | om/snds/index....
        
         | porbelm wrote:
         | I agree, I've been hosting my own email for a few years now,
         | using Mailcow on a Linode. With SPF and DKIM properly set up,
         | mail is /usually/ accepted by the receiving end.
         | 
         | The only nag is that Microsoft is EXTREMELY strict for their
         | hosted email. It's the only provider that consistently denies
         | recieving mail from my server when the IP range it's on becomes
         | greylisted in UCE-PROTECT -- which happens every so often...
         | 
         | Easily solved with getting the MX and backup MX IP's
         | whitelisted there, but I haven't bothered cashing out for that
         | yet...
        
           | jhugo wrote:
           | > when the IP range it's on becomes greylisted in UCE-PROTECT
           | -- which happens every so often
           | 
           | This is a common complaint with Linode specifically, but
           | probably fairly common with low-cost virtual server providers
           | in general. It's worth looking into the history of your IP
           | before you start using it to host mail, and if it's feasible,
           | shelling out for a dedicated server (ideally from a provider
           | that doesn't also offer virtual servers, or has enough
           | network separation between them) makes it much less likely
           | that your neighbour is a spammer. Mine's never been on UCE-
           | PROTECT.
        
         | nerdponx wrote:
         | It's wild that something as pedestrian as hosting your own
         | email comes with a pile of caveats comparable to those attached
         | to browsing I2P or using cryptocurrency to buy stuff.
        
           | traceroute66 wrote:
           | > It's wild that something as pedestrian as hosting your own
           | email comes with a pile of caveats
           | 
           | No, it's not "wild".
           | 
           | Its just that we're in 2022, not 1997.
           | 
           | Long gone are the days of "fire up Sendmail and you're good
           | to go".
           | 
           | To those thinking of self-hosting, I would say they should
           | start by understanding modern anti-spam.
           | 
           | Understanding modern anti-spam will not only help them with
           | their inbound email, but will also help them understand how
           | to ensure deliverability of their outbound email too.
        
         | systemvoltage wrote:
         | May be you've been grandfathered into a white list when things
         | weren't so sophistcated 20 years ago?
         | 
         | Have you tried setting up a brand new email server with a fresh
         | IP from say, Digital Ocean or AWS?
        
         | andrewaylett wrote:
         | I'm in a similar boat, but have a slightly different
         | conclusion: if you started 20 years ago, you'll have a much
         | easier time _today_ than if you started six months ago.
         | 
         | I think it's also fair to say that personal mail for a small
         | domain is _much_ easier than even a small amount of
         | transactional email and don 't even try sending newsletters
         | beyond your friend group.
         | 
         | I have run mail off three different IPs over the ~20 years I've
         | been hosting, switching IP address didn't affect me all that
         | much.
         | 
         | Another thing to note is that receiving mail is really easy.
         | Sending it is hard, filtering out the spam (and only the spam)
         | from your inbound email is harder.
        
           | jjav wrote:
           | Yes, receiving is very easy. Just doing that has a lot of
           | value because now can't be arbitrarily cut off from your
           | internet identity by gmail/et.al. for no reason.
           | 
           | So a easy way to get started is to receive everything
           | directly and use a commercial (often with low-volume free
           | tier service) relay for outbound until you get comfortable
           | enough to remove the training wheels. (Or never remove them,
           | that's a legit choice as well.)
           | 
           | > filtering out the spam (and only the spam) from your
           | inbound email is harder.
           | 
           | I don't find that at all. Filtering spam is the easiest part.
           | All I do is if SPF doesn't match, goes to spam folder. Beyond
           | that, apply a bayesian filter.
           | 
           | I get no false positives and the spam that gets through to my
           | inbox can be counted on one hand per quarter. Basically none.
           | 
           | That's yet another benefit of self hosting, since my bayesian
           | filter is trained on my personal email specifically, it tends
           | to become very good. Unlike generic gmail filters for
           | example, where there'll always be some mail that ends up in
           | spam no matter how many hundreds of times you mark it not-
           | spam.
        
           | jhugo wrote:
           | Spam has become much easier to avoid on inbound mail at some
           | point. I turned off all Bayesian/heuristic based spam
           | filtering around 2015 and now just check SPF and DKIM, and
           | have a fake first MX record. No "Junk" folder, everything
           | that passes the checks goes to the inbox. I get maybe one
           | spam mail every week or so, which I just delete.
        
             | born2discover wrote:
             | Could you please elaborate on the "..., and have a fake
             | first MX record" ?
        
               | acatton wrote:
               | Not GP, but I think what they meant is having a MX record
               | with a higher priority pointing to an unroutable IP
               | blackhole  IN A 240.0.0.1              @ MX 10
               | blackhole.example.com         @ MX 20 mail.example.com
        
               | jhugo wrote:
               | Yup, exactly, for the reasons described in the sibling
               | comment to yours.
               | 
               | Doing it this way doesn't even delay mail much most of
               | the time; many legitimate MTAs connect immediately to the
               | priority-20 MX after failing to connect to the
               | priority-10 one.
        
               | pferde wrote:
               | Legitimate SMTP servers will try your domain's MX records
               | one by one, in order of priority, until they reach one
               | that accepts the message. Spammers' scripts usually don't
               | bother, they just try the first one and move on to the
               | next address on their list.
               | 
               | Of course, this is not 100% reliable, as it's not too
               | difficult for spammers to adapt and improve their
               | scripts. Of course, vast majority of spammers are either
               | not sophisticated enough, or do not care enough to do so,
               | so if you don't mind your incoming mail to be slightly
               | delayed, it's kind of a low-hanging fruit, as it cuts off
               | a huge amount of low-effort spammers.
        
           | GoblinSlayer wrote:
           | Use aliases?
        
         | baobabKoodaa wrote:
         | > If you set everything up right, and choose the host for your
         | mail server carefully, and never change IP, after a fairly
         | short time you won't have much problem with being marked as
         | spam. No more so than with any other email host.
         | 
         | This is untrue. If you are the only person using your email
         | server, your volume will be so low that the big providers
         | (Gmail, Outlook, etc.) won't track your reputation. So,
         | ironically, being a low-volume sender means your email will be
         | constantly classified as spam.
         | 
         | I speak from experience: https://www.attejuvonen.fi/dont-send-
         | email-from-your-own-ser...
        
           | jjav wrote:
           | > being a low-volume sender means your email will be
           | constantly classified as spam
           | 
           | "will" is a strong word. I've read that very low volume
           | sending server can sometimes have issues, but never
           | experienced it. My outgoing volume is about as low as it gets
           | since it's just me and some family that don't use it much,
           | but don't experience any problems.
        
           | jhugo wrote:
           | "This is untrue" and yet I and others in this thread have
           | been doing this for a long time without encountering the
           | issue that you so confidently claim exists.
           | 
           | My email server is used by two people. Reputation is tracked
           | by all the big providers, as evidenced by a) my email not
           | being classified as spam, and b) them showing reputation of
           | my domains in their various reputation dashboards.
           | 
           | "Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those
           | that are doing it."
        
             | MarcellusDrum wrote:
             | Not an expert on this, but maybe this is because you have
             | been hosting your server for 20 years? Maybe newer servers
             | have a higher threshold to cross? Seems a logical
             | hypothesis to me, which would mean you're both right.
        
               | dugite-code wrote:
               | I selfhosted my email server on the same IP address for
               | 10 years and never got my reputation tracked. I remember
               | once reading that they needed something in the range of a
               | few thousand emails going to their servers. I swear it
               | used to be listed on the google dashboard but like
               | everything else email related they hide this information
               | to "protect from spammers". Sounds like an excuse for
               | anti-compeditive behaviour to me
        
             | baobabKoodaa wrote:
             | > "This is untrue" and yet I and others in this thread have
             | been doing this for a long time without encountering the
             | issue that you so confidently claim exists.
             | 
             | When you make a claim that supposedly applies to all
             | people, a single counterpoint is sufficient to disprove the
             | claim. It's as if you had said "all rabbits are black",
             | then I showed you a white rabbit to counter that not all
             | rabbits are black, and you come back with "look, I have a
             | black rabbit here". How does that make sense to you?
             | 
             | > them showing reputation of my domains in their various
             | reputation dashboards.
             | 
             | I never got access to their dashboards because my email
             | volume was so low. If you somehow did, good for you.
             | 
             | > "Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt
             | those that are doing it."
             | 
             | I'm not "interrupting you from doing it". I'm interrupting
             | you from giving bad advice to OTHER people.
        
               | jhugo wrote:
               | > When you make a claim that supposedly applies to all
               | people, a single counterpoint is sufficient to disprove
               | the claim. It's as if you had said "all rabbits are
               | black", then I showed you a white rabbit to counter that
               | not all rabbits are black, and you come back with "look,
               | I have a black rabbit here". How does that make sense to
               | you?
               | 
               | Well said!
               | 
               | Your claim is "it is not possible to self-host your own
               | mail on a low-volume server and not get consistently
               | marked as spam by GMail / other large operators". The
               | existence of a single person successfully doing exactly
               | that (and there are numerous such people in this very
               | thread) is sufficient to disprove your claim.
        
               | e12e wrote:
               | > Your claim is "it is not possible to self-host your own
               | mail on a low-volume server and not get consistently
               | marked as spam by GMail / other large operators". The
               | existence of a single person successfully doing exactly
               | that (and there are numerous such people in this very
               | thread) is sufficient to disprove your claim.
               | 
               | Perhaps that was _their_ claim - but I 've generally read
               | advice as: "There's no predictable way to guarantee that
               | any given person can today take over hosting their own
               | mail with predictable and good delivery to Gmail and
               | o365."
               | 
               | So just that a, b and c have, so far, good delivery from
               | their setup is not a guarantee that person x can just
               | "set things up correctly" and somewhat straightforwardly
               | get good delivery.
               | 
               | Last I did it, I had to go via undocumented api/pages for
               | both o365 and Gmail in order to improve delivery - and
               | mail that gmail/o365 smtp servers swore they accepted
               | without problems - still sometimes ended up as spam, or
               | simply vanished after delivery.
               | 
               | This was all individual low-volume. Never found any
               | reason for it.
               | 
               | That said, I'll probably go back to hosting my own mail,
               | and just live with certain parties being bad net
               | citizens, eating the occasional mail without error or
               | bounce. It's not like I really expect them to do better.
               | Although especially in the case of Gmail, it's a little
               | like Disney eating up public domain stories and spitting
               | out copyrighted and trademarked content. Google did a lot
               | to force people away from proper quoting (by hiding the
               | fact of how Gmail quoted things in the "friendly" ui) and
               | they pretty much killed Google groups - after
               | marginalizing alternatives. But those ships have sailed.
        
               | baobabKoodaa wrote:
               | You're correct, I shot myself in the foot there. But can
               | we agree that some people manage to successfully run
               | their own email servers and some people don't?
        
               | jhugo wrote:
               | Oh, absolutely. I wouldn't recommend it casually to
               | everyone, but if someone says "hey, I want to learn to
               | host my own mail, but everyone tells me I shouldn't", I'm
               | totally going to recommend they do it. If they have the
               | desire to learn, it's likely (not certain! but likely)
               | that they'll succeed.
               | 
               | I do think that most of the effort/risk is at the
               | beginning. Making sure you're on a reputable provider,
               | checking the history of your IP, setting your mail server
               | & the security features up correctly, monitoring
               | deliverability etc.
               | 
               | After everything is working well, if you got that part
               | right, the ongoing effort should basically just be
               | keeping software up-to-date. You could always get unlucky
               | and e.g. someone starts sending spam on a nearby IP and
               | you have to waste some time dealing with that, but
               | hopefully if you picked your provider well that won't
               | happen. It's yet to happen to me, but my provider only
               | offers dedicated servers, which are probably not so
               | popular with spammers.
        
         | redox99 wrote:
         | > If you set everything up right,
         | 
         | You don't even need to set everything right. Up until very
         | recently (months), I was sending emails from a few of my
         | servers, and I had NOTHING set right. As in, I was sending from
         | IP addresses that were never mentioned on my DNS, no PTR no SPF
         | no DKIM no nothing. Just good old "here's an email from this
         | address, trust me I actually own that address and it's legit".
         | 
         | And it worked just fine.
         | 
         | Surely just a reputation thing, as I had been doing this for
         | over a decade, and all emails were very important (password
         | recovery, order details, etc), no newsletter or anything.
         | 
         | I recently replaced all that with zoho because I wanted
         | something a bit more secure and didn't want to configure it
         | myself.
        
         | _moof wrote:
         | Yup, came here to say pretty much that. I've been self-hosting
         | email for decades, first from a box on my home network (back
         | when that was possible) and later from a VPS. It's not nearly
         | as hard as folks make it out to be.
         | 
         | At the very least, getting your server marked as
         | spam/blacklisted is not inevitable. Just make sure you aren't
         | an open relay and that you've got properly configured SPF and
         | DKIM records in your DNS. Once that's set up you can pretty
         | much forget about it. I haven't had to touch any of my configs
         | in years.
         | 
         | Initial setup takes maybe a day or two if you know your way
         | around Linux or one of the BSDs.
        
         | Biganon wrote:
         | Self hosting my emails, grade of 100/100 on mail-tester, I'm on
         | none of the dozens of blacklists I've queried... and Microsoft
         | marks every single one of my emails as spam.
         | 
         | Just because you're lucky doesn't mean other people are
         | "unexperienced". I don't know what experience has to do with it
         | tbh. Maybe if you have experience working for Microsoft and you
         | can contact the right people there...
        
         | snitch182 wrote:
         | I have been self hosting my private domains for a couple of
         | years now and spam is not a problem with rspamd and it needs
         | very little resources. Some large hosts just outright blocked
         | me but i always get it unblocked with some assistance of my
         | hoster. So, yes it is fine. I even set up webmail with
         | rainloop. Better than anything once you got it set up right.
        
         | notacoward wrote:
         | > probably have little relevant experience
         | 
         | Or maybe they have 10x the experience you do, but it was
         | different experience for reasons beyond their control. Don't
         | over-generalize from a sample of one. That's hubris.
        
       | rolph wrote:
       | this looks like prime territory for another federal oversight.
       | 
       | essentialy email has been taken over by the minority for
       | financial benefit, and creates a noncompetetive situation.
       | 
       | it has been obvious for years that small email servers are being
       | squelched for thier properties, and independence rather than for
       | something that has actually occured.
       | 
       | this is direct interference with a computerized messaging system,
       | and it is causing harm.
        
       | martinmunk wrote:
       | I was a little discouraged after reading previous threads here,
       | but decided to give it a try anyway.
       | 
       | I tried mailinabox and mailcow which didn't work out, but mailu
       | did.
       | 
       | Final setup is a pfSense vm on vultr, VPN back to my local
       | pfSense box (with snort filtering) and mailu in an LXD container.
       | Mailu guides you through setting up various dns records which
       | helped me a lot.
        
       | jesprenj wrote:
       | Works for me. Shrug.
        
       | reph2097 wrote:
       | It's doable, and it's quite easy
        
       | exabrial wrote:
       | Write a letter to your Senator and House representatives. This is
       | an abuse of monopoly position by Google.
        
       | deltarholamda wrote:
       | >How do we fix this?
       | 
       | You start by taking every person who says "not worth it, man,
       | just use GMail" and beating them with a rubber hose until they
       | install and run a mail service for their vanity domains.
       | 
       | More seriously, it's possible we've let this problem fester for
       | so long that it's going to take serious effort to fix. By which I
       | mean governmental intervention. Google, Microsoft and Yahoo
       | cannot be allowed to dictate who gets to send and receive email,
       | as they effectively do now through their massive marketshare
       | dominance.
       | 
       | Spam is a problem, but it's not an intractable one. In the 90s,
       | sure, the technical problem was pretty hard. By the 00s,
       | everybody just let Google handle it because Google wasn't going
       | to Be Evil, and Google managed to solve it with a giant technical
       | hammer.
       | 
       | Technical people also tend to dismiss solutions because they
       | don't fix every problem. The old Spam Solutions Checklist
       | exemplifies this attitude. But what we have now is worse, i.e.
       | just letting the world's most invasive corporation control all of
       | it.
        
       | thirdreplicator wrote:
       | I wonder if a crypto-based email system would solve these
       | problems. With crypto, you have cryptographically secure
       | identities, and if you had to pay for sending emails, this would
       | deter unlimited indiscriminate spam.
        
       | qwerty456127 wrote:
       | To me it seems you can, provided you own a good IP address.
        
       | blakebreeder wrote:
       | I set up mail-in-a-box a few years ago and it works great.
        
         | oblib wrote:
         | That's what I use, but because I'm running on a DigitalOcean
         | vps Microsoft still blocks me. I've not had any issues other
         | than Microsoft though, Gmail was easy to get whitelisted.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK wrote:
       | Nothing can be done. Everything will eventually succumb to spam.
       | Spam is omnipotent. In fact, Google and FB are just giant very
       | successful spammers. The only difference between Mastodon and
       | email is that email is 40 years older. As Mastodon grows,
       | spammers will take over.
        
       | tristor wrote:
       | I hosted my own email for years and had no real issues. The only
       | reason I stopped was that my main motivation for self-hosting was
       | security, and there are now providers (ProtonMail, FastMail, et
       | al) that are reasonable options to solve for my needs and require
       | no maintenance effort on my part.
       | 
       | My experience has been that all the major providers will deliver
       | mail if it's appropriately signed with DKIM and you have proper
       | SPF records, as long as you aren't originating from an IP that
       | has a low reputation score. The biggest challenge is getting a
       | clean IP, since there is limited IPv4 address space and most IPs
       | have been recycled so much at this point that they all have low
       | reputation scores. The best way to get an IP with a good
       | reputation score is to host on physical hardware, not on VMs,
       | with a smaller provider that has minimal customer churn.
        
       | hackerbrother wrote:
       | At a high level, email is two-way (email hosts have to accept
       | your email servers' communication if you choose to send to them),
       | but navigating to a webpage is one way (client initiates an HTTP
       | download from the server). Therefore email needs some kind of
       | 'web of trust', since email servers have to trust that other
       | valid email servers regulate their spam and aren't malicious. Not
       | saying the current situation is ideal necessarily.
        
       | jeffbee wrote:
       | Mastodon is too obscure and small for anyone to notice. If
       | Mastodon ever achieved the scale of email, the necessary anti-
       | abuse measures would also result in centralization of Mastodon
       | services, just like we see with email.
        
       | maestroia wrote:
       | I run my business' email on a cloud VPS. It's a two step
       | solution, with a FreeBSD host running a tightly configured
       | Postfix as my mail gateway, and a Windows server running
       | hMailServer (This is a great piece of Windows-based open source
       | software. Highly recommend.).
       | 
       | This solutions captures the majority of spam and phishing.
       | Occasionally, a well-crafted piece of spam gets through, and I
       | check the Postfix config to see if I can close that hole.
       | 
       | What I do monitor closely are the valid emails that Postfix
       | rejects. This happens a couple times per month, and is mainly due
       | to the sender using GMail, and Google's mail servers being marked
       | as sending spam.
       | 
       | Overall, I'm pleased with this solution. It's minimal
       | configuration, minimal maintenance, maximum usefulness.
        
       | lamontcg wrote:
       | I self-host my own e-mail.
       | 
       | There's a webpage out there (https://dnschecker.org/ip-blacklist-
       | checker.php) that lets you look to see if you've been blacklist
       | and there's only one massively aggressive DNS rbl that blacklists
       | me out of many dozens of them.
       | 
       | I'd suggest actually trying to setup your own e-mail/dns and see
       | if it works or not. If you wind up on a static IP that is in a
       | ton of RBLs, move to another block or another cloud service.
        
         | teddyh wrote:
         | There are many more:
         | 
         | * https://check.spamhaus.org/
         | 
         | * https://www.spamcop.net/bl.shtml
         | 
         | * https://ipadmin.junkemailfilter.com/remove.php
         | 
         | * https://mxtoolbox.com/blacklists.aspx
         | 
         | * https://multirbl.valli.org/
         | 
         | * https://hetrixtools.com/blacklist-check/
         | 
         | * http://www.anti-abuse.org/multi-rbl-check/
        
           | lamontcg wrote:
           | I was kind of hoping someone else would followup with more
           | complete info if I posted that...
           | 
           | (Corollary to Cunningham's Law)
           | 
           | One of those multichecks found 2 lists that I'm on out of
           | ~250 checked lists (and one of the ones banning me is a .ru
           | address)
        
       | denton-scratch wrote:
       | I think the standard answer is to use a smarthost.
       | 
       | The blacklisting shouldn't be permanent, though; my self-hosted
       | mailserver took about a year to earn the trust of GMail. I hzave
       | no idea how Hotmail's spam filtering works. I think they just
       | shitcan randomly, unless it's sent from Hotmail.
       | 
       | I'm no longer running a self-hosted server. It's hosted by my
       | (obscure) ISP, but it's still a custom domain. I have no
       | deliverability problems, not even to Hotmail.
        
       | zcdziura wrote:
       | The problem is that spam was/is so bad that extreme measures were
       | taken to curb it. There are all kinds of invisible forces that
       | you abutt that can be difficult to figure out, such as IP
       | blacklists and the like. And even if you set everything up
       | properly and host your email with a responsible host, Microsoft
       | will still mark your mail as spam.
       | 
       | I host my own email server with Vultr on an OpenBSD VM using
       | OpenSMTPD and Dovecot, relaying all outbound mail through SMTP2Go
       | (their free tier more than meets my needs). I have all of the
       | necessary DNS entries set to mark my mail as legit, and I sign
       | all outgoing mail using strong 2048-bit RSA keys. Thus far, I'm
       | able to send mail and not have it marked as spam (at least to
       | everyone that I've corresponded with thus far). It was a lot of
       | work to get to that point, but not terrible.
        
         | throw10920 wrote:
         | > The problem is that spam was/is so bad that extreme measures
         | were taken to curb it.
         | 
         | Man, and there's such an easy solution, too - just use
         | Hashcash[1] (invented in 1997) and 90%+ of spam disappears
         | overnight (if not more, depending on how high you set the
         | difficulty).
         | 
         | Well, ok, "easy" in the sense that We Have An Algorithm For
         | This - it'd still be hard to get email clients/servers to agree
         | on a protocol...
         | 
         | [1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hashcash
        
         | tzs wrote:
         | > And even if you set everything up properly and host your
         | email with a responsible host, Microsoft will still mark your
         | mail as spam.
         | 
         | I did some experiments back when I ran my own mail. Sending
         | from my mail server to my Microsoft account it not only marked
         | everything as spam, it continued marking everything as spam
         | after I marked a bunch of them as not spam.
         | 
         | After that, I tried also answering several of them and
         | composing several new mails to send to my non-Microsoft email
         | to see if Microsoft's spam system was smart enough to figure
         | out that if I'm actively corresponding with someone their
         | incoming mail should not be marked as spam. It was not smart
         | enough.
         | 
         | Then I tried whitelisting. Nope, still spam.
        
         | plainnoodles wrote:
         | > There are all kinds of invisible forces that you abutt that
         | can be difficult to figure out
         | 
         | This was my main experience, and all I did was try to set up
         | the ability to simply send emails to _myself_ (gmail) (and no-
         | one else). Things like: this script crashed, or btrfs scrub
         | finished + scrub results, and similar.
         | 
         | The first thing I tried was just setting up a VM with postfix
         | running on it locally with my residential ISP. I don't even
         | remember what the error was for this scenario, but it was just
         | totally dead in the water. Absolutely zero mail delivery. I
         | think I eventually figured out it's because google defers to
         | spamhaus, and spamhaus says residential IPs = hard no.
         | 
         | That next thing I tried, and what I ended up doing, was writing
         | a docker container that just runs an SSH port forward to jump
         | from my local network to a digitalocean host, which is where
         | another docker container runs postfix. I had done this bit once
         | before, and I tried to just set up DKIM (since DKIM was, to my
         | reading, basically bulletproof - why bother with SPF when you
         | have real cryptographic identity assurance?). This led to weird
         | error messages from google about my IP having a super low
         | reputation. This was something I'd been worried about so I
         | spent a bit of time trying to cycle my IP. But I eventually
         | figured out it was just a bad error message and setting up SPF
         | suddenly made my emails start delivering.
         | 
         | My main ongoing issue is that I had to add all my sending
         | addresses (things my internalhostnamehere@myrealdomain.com) to
         | my contacts in gmail, otherwise there was like a 50% chance
         | they'd just go to spam. I've been running this setup for about
         | a year and it's still a coin toss whether emails will come
         | through fine, or if they'll say "this would've gone to spam but
         | it's in your contacts". When that happens, I check the DKIM and
         | SPF status in "original message" in gmail, and gmail itself
         | says they both passed.
         | 
         | Absurd tbh.
         | 
         | For my "not self-hosted but better than letting google own my
         | digital identity" solution, since I use apple icloud+ or
         | whatever it's called, I set up the SPF stuff to let me
         | send+receive email from my custom domain, so while icloud could
         | still scan my mail, at least if I get banned, I still own the
         | actual domain and could move somewhere else.
        
           | miohtama wrote:
           | Even if one setups everything by the book (SPF, DKIM, DNS.)
           | etc. No one at @outlook.com will receive email, based on my
           | experience. Thus, it does not work well if email is important
           | for business-to-business use.
           | 
           | Outlook and Gmail are basically having opaque rules who can
           | receive email and there is no process to get "whitelisted" on
           | these receivers.
        
             | GekkePrutser wrote:
             | I had exactly this problem too. I elaborated below.
             | 
             | If you keep an eye on your logs, when your emails are being
             | blackholed (it accepts them but it does not deliver them!)
             | it does provide a link in one of the 550 status messages,
             | where you can get yourself unblocked. I've elaborated here:
             | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=31185297
             | 
             | However this only works temporarily, after a month you're
             | back in the doghouse. Only senders which send a large
             | volume of legit traffic are allowed. It's ridiculous but
             | sadly true.
             | 
             | Edit: I found the message in my old emails:
             | 
             | ---
             | 
             | 550 SC-001 (BAY004-MCxxx) Unfortunately, messages from
             | XXX.XXX.XXX.XXX weren't sent. Please contact your Internet
             | service provider since part of their network is on our
             | block list. You can also refer your provider to
             | http://mail.live.com/mail/troubleshooting.aspx#errors.
             | 
             | ---
             | 
             | In that link the "SC-001" code also refers to that
             | reputation thing. This was the same at outlook.com /
             | hotmail.com and live.com . It did not, however, affect
             | corporate customers using Office 365 / Exchange 365. Only
             | customers of MS' consumer offerings.
             | 
             | My "internet service provider" was a legit colocation
             | service and nothing funny was going on in their network by
             | the way. Microsoft was the only party that had issues with
             | my server. All known blocklists had no issues with it. It
             | was just MS being difficult and making up their own rules.
             | 
             | Anyway going to that link there is a form somewhere to
             | temporarily unblock it. Give it a try.. Perhaps you can
             | create an account at live.com yourself and send a daily
             | test email or something... I thought of doing this but
             | eventually I got so frustrated I gave up on it.
        
           | exikyut wrote:
           | One potential 1%-of-the-complexity answer to the problem of
           | personal notification (which I presume was what email-to-self
           | was solving) is to set up a Telegram bot. I recently _really_
           | wanted realtime notifications on my phone (package tracking)
           | and realized that all the top-level  "send notifications to
           | phone" type services are either mass push notification shops
           | ($$$$) or bundled offerings ($$$) that were entirely overkill
           | for my purposes.
           | 
           | There are two ways to run a bot on Telegram, either by
           | running the bot client directly (meh, interesting but extra
           | setup) or by using Telegram's bot hosting system that works
           | over HTTPS. It's the second approach that takes 3 minutes (!)
           | to get to an MVP state for notifications.
           | 
           | - You walk through a flow with a specific account
           | (@Botfather) on Telegram to create a new bot account, which
           | gives you an API key
           | 
           | - Find the new bot using the search function then open a
           | conversation with it and (after sending /start) send a junk
           | message
           | 
           | - Call `curl
           | "https://api.telegram.org/bot$APIKEY/getUpdates"` and fish
           | out the "chat"->"id" value from the JSON representation of
           | the message you just sent to obtain your user ID
           | 
           | - Call something like `curl
           | "https://api.telegram.org/bot$APIKEY/sendMessage" -X POST -H
           | 'Content-Type: application/json' -d
           | '{"chat_id":"1234567890","text":"boop"}'` (set chat_id to
           | your account id) to send a new message - yup, it's literally
           | this simple to send messages
           | 
           | - Go into Telegram's settings and add the bot as a
           | notification exception (assuming you have notifications
           | universally turned off by default)
           | 
           | - If you also set the full-screen popup to "when off"
           | Telegram will (even when your device is locked) show an
           | instant notification containing the sent text
           | 
           | - Because this is a conversation, the message history will be
           | preserved unless you explicitly delete the messages (which
           | you can do on a per-message basis)
           | 
           | - The Telegram bot API supports both polling and push-based
           | I/O, where you can periodically poll /getUpdates or have
           | Telegram call a webhook you configure. IMHO the _way_ easier
           | approach is just running the bot client locally at that
           | point, * _but_ *, for just sending out one-way notifications
           | where replies don't matter, the default polling setting (no
           | webhooks) is ideal as the bot server will delete un-
           | acknowledged messages after IIRC 24 hours or so - so you
           | don't have to worry about queue quotas or whatever, you can
           | just ignore the whole receive side and it just works
           | 
           | Obviously the caveat is that this is 1% of the complexity and
           | equally 1% of the... provenance, for want of a better way to
           | put it. But in terms of "I need realtime notifications _now_
           | " I am yet to find a better system. It worked perfectly.
        
         | jjav wrote:
         | Yes to the OP, you most definitely _can_ host your own email
         | fully.
         | 
         | Many of us do it. If you have any interest in the topic, either
         | due to the fun of managing the servers and learning something
         | along the way _or_ due to the moral high ground of supporting
         | decentralization above proprietary walled gardens, do it!
         | 
         | Ignore the naysayers, if you're interested you can do it.
         | 
         | Will some emails very occasionally end up in the spam folder of
         | a recipient? I mean, yes, but that is true of everything. You
         | can end up in spam folder sending from Microsoft Office mail to
         | gmail or vice versa. Heck, every now and then an email from my
         | manager will end up in my spam folder in gmail even though he's
         | emailing me from gmail to gmail, both of us in the same
         | corporate gsuite account! So on average, once you set
         | everything up correctly, your deliverability will be as good as
         | gmail to gmail, which is to say not 100% perfect but no worse
         | than any other solution. And you'll be in control of your email
         | infrastructure and address. No longer will
         | google/microsoft/apple/yahoo be able to cut you off all your
         | accounts on the whim an AI gone bad.
         | 
         | The parent post mentions a useful safety valve to know about if
         | you're worried about deliverability and want to take baby steps
         | to get there. You can always, either selectively or wholesale,
         | use a commercial relay for outbound mail from your email
         | server. Some have free tiers that are plenty for
         | personal/family use.
         | 
         | Personally I don't use any third party relay, I deliver to
         | everywhere from my own infrastructure. No issues.
        
           | leephillips wrote:
           | Me too, and this is my experience as well. In the rare event
           | that I find out that someone isn't getting my emails, I tell
           | them that they should complain to their provider or use a
           | different one. I'm no longer willing to jump through hoops so
           | that hotmail delivers my email.
        
         | leros wrote:
         | This is the answer. Blocked emails happen for random reasons
         | and fixing them is a black art that involves talking to ISPs
         | and stuff. It's really too much for an average person to
         | handle.
         | 
         | At work we've had issues with email delivery due to things like
         | outdated IP block lists at some random ISP four hops away, only
         | impacting deliverability when mail gets routed through that
         | part of the web.
        
           | paulmd wrote:
           | I have an email address with "spam" in the name (this is
           | through gmail) and lately I've had all kinds of problems with
           | emails to it disappearing - I've had to call several places
           | and have them change my email because I can't log in and the
           | reset emails don't ever show up... but changing to
           | myfirst.mylast works fine.
           | 
           | I've run into this with both Sam's Club and Speedway Rewards.
           | 
           | Only thing I can think of is that some outbound mail service
           | they're using is dropping them, or some relay in the middle
           | is dropping them... I can see where the word "spam" would be
           | a keyword you might use, but I've had this email address for
           | 15 years now and it's only been a problem in the last few
           | years.
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | rhizome31 wrote:
         | > relaying all outbound mail through SMTP2Go
         | 
         | So it's not an entirely self-hosted solution, is it?
        
           | Veen wrote:
           | No, but it's quite difficult to have email reliably and
           | consistently delivered to Gmail and other major email
           | providers without sending it via a relay. The relay provider
           | is in the business of maintaining IP addresses with good
           | reputations that aren't blocked by spam lists etc. If you can
           | find and keep a reputable IP address, then you're fine, but
           | it's usually easier to pay someone who does that for a living
           | --you have no guarantee that the IP address assigned to you
           | by Digital Ocean or whoever wasn't used for spamming at some
           | point.
        
             | cube00 wrote:
             | Digital Ocean has an extremely poor reputation over a long
             | period to the point where their droplets are blocked on
             | mass in many places now [1]
             | 
             | Even my local ISP refuses mail from them.
             | 
             | [1]: https://discourse.mailinabox.email/t/digital-ocean-
             | ips-being...
        
               | zcdziura wrote:
               | This is also why I went with Vultr as my server host.
               | They block port 25 by default and make customers file a
               | support ticket with them to unblock that port. They also
               | require your account be active for at least a month and
               | be using their service in good standing during that time.
               | Wasn't an instant process, but was simple enough to
               | accomplish in the end.
        
               | bombcar wrote:
               | Yeah, lots of places just straight up block entire IP
               | ranges, such as anywhere you can get a VM for cheap/free,
               | or residential IP ranges, etc.
        
               | teh_klev wrote:
               | Really sorry, I don't normally nit pick spelling and
               | grammar, but it's "en masse" rather than "on mass".
        
         | derefr wrote:
         | Is there such a service that will tell me the reputation of an
         | email domain, i.e. whether mail originating at that domain
         | would be likely to be treated as _definitely spam_ or not? (I
         | don 't really care about "no reputation"; I want to know if a
         | domain has _known bad_ reputation.)
         | 
         | I feel like, if there was such a service, it would be pretty
         | useful to use it to prevent account registrations on other
         | services, from users whose email addresses have domains with
         | bad reputations. After all, they'd very likely just be
         | registering with the intent of using the service to send or
         | post spam in some way.
        
           | TZubiri wrote:
           | multirbl.valli.org
           | 
           | Contains blacklists on the domain level, also on the ip block
           | and AS level.
        
             | derefr wrote:
             | Possibly interesting... but these are rules _about_
             | outgoing SMTP servers (MSAs), yes? How much of a relation
             | does the outgoing SMTP server for a domain have to the
             | canonical set of _receiving_ SMTP servers (MTAs) for the
             | domain held in the domain 's DNS MX record? These _can_
             | certainly be one and the same server; but it 's not a
             | requirement. So how often are they in practice? Especially
             | for people actively trying to evade these sorts of RBLs?
        
         | wpietri wrote:
         | Yup. Spam is the root problem. With an enormous amount of
         | complexity between that and the mail admin's day to day
         | experience.
         | 
         | I hosted my own mail for more than 20 years. A couple years
         | back I just got tired of trying to solve deliverability
         | puzzles, plus the fears that deliverability issues generate.
         | (E.g., "Did that potential employer get my email about the
         | job?") Especially since some of the puzzles are not solvable,
         | like why GMail does what it does. I even had friends at Google,
         | and I still couldn't find out why GMail occasionally didn't
         | like my server. And arguably, that's the right choice for them,
         | as the more spammers know about how they work, the worse it is
         | for Google staff and GMail users.
         | 
         | For me, switching to Fastmail hosting was a big win. It's not
         | like I'm out of technical challenges to solve, but I get to
         | apply that to things where the upside is greater than, "The
         | thing everybody expects to work still works."
        
           | azinman2 wrote:
           | My issue with fast mail et all is storage is so unnecessarily
           | expensive. I have many gigs of email that I don't want to
           | lose, but I also don't want to pay many tens of dollars/month
           | to host it.
        
           | clairity wrote:
           | the spam problem advantages google, as your own story
           | illustrates, so it's unlikely they'd really want to help
           | solve deliverability/spam issues systemicly. making personal
           | email hosting more difficult means they have a chance to
           | capture your email data streams via gmail. whether you switch
           | there or not, it creates a pressure for most to aggregate on
           | gmail, which means they can see most email exchanges.
        
             | wpietri wrote:
             | For sure. Good spam filtering was one big reason for people
             | to switch to GMail. And a lot of people who gave up hosting
             | their own email have switched to Gmail as well. I'm sure
             | this doesn't rise to the level of conspiracy, but there's
             | little incentive for them to fix the broader problems.
        
         | tonmoy wrote:
         | Microsoft had marked an email from a professor from an vt.edu
         | domain email address as spam causing me to miss an interview
         | for a PhD funding.
        
           | codegeek wrote:
           | Microsoft is especially notorious for flagging legit emails
           | as spam if they are not from one of the regular providers.
        
             | donmcronald wrote:
             | That's nothing compared to the joy of dealing with legit
             | emails that are flagged as high confidence phishing.
        
             | cube00 wrote:
             | Flagging if you're lucky, they outright 550 refused my mail
             | until I joined their sender program and applied to have my
             | domain unblocked. Then they proceeded to gaslight me
             | claiming my mail was never blocked even after I forwarded
             | their own error messages and IDs back to them.
        
               | codegeek wrote:
               | yea unfortunately I have seen those as well. It is
               | ridiculous at times.
        
             | maestroia wrote:
             | Regular provider == (Microsoft 365 || an Exchange Server)
        
           | 2OEH8eoCRo0 wrote:
           | Honest question- why can't people sue for this?
        
             | dusted wrote:
             | unfortunately, access to the Internet is not well defined
             | enough for this, and you basically have no right to a
             | connection or any guaranteed privileges if you have a
             | connection, which sucks.
        
             | throwawayboise wrote:
             | Email (SMTP) has no delivery guarantees. It's basically
             | "best effort."
             | 
             | If you want guaranteed delivery with proof and tracability,
             | send a registered letter at the post office, FedEx, etc.
        
             | shadowgovt wrote:
             | On what grounds would they sue for? Email is not the post;
             | there is no legal right to receive one or to have one
             | routed.
             | 
             | If one wants such legal protections, there _is_ the post.
             | 
             | (Now, should there be such a right? That's an interesting
             | question. But a world in which one exists would raise the
             | bar to starting one's own email server even higher).
        
               | 2OEH8eoCRo0 wrote:
               | You can't sue if a product doesn't work as intended and
               | results in harm?
        
               | adgjlsfhk1 wrote:
               | You can't sue someone (and win) for "this person did
               | something that I don't like". You only have a case if you
               | have a contract with them that lays out specific duties,
               | or if they are otherwise a fiduciary of some form. Unless
               | you signed a contract with microsoft for them to deliver
               | your mail, they have no obligation to do so.
        
               | shadowgovt wrote:
               | It depends on the circumstances. In some cases, when
               | guarantees are made and those guarantees are broken, you
               | can sue civilly to be made whole (in a context like this
               | where there was no bodily harm, merely an opportunity
               | missed).
               | 
               | It's real unlikely any such guarantees were made. To do
               | so would be extremely foolish for several reasons (the
               | false-positive rate of spam identification is known and
               | emails can fail to deliver because of an error at either
               | end of the transaction).
        
               | amf12 wrote:
               | A legal protection would mostly entail disabling of spam
               | filters.
        
         | elorant wrote:
         | Any chance you'll provide a detailed write-up of your
         | experience with tips and whatnot?
        
         | post-it wrote:
         | Prediction: Any distributed social media (like Mastodon) that
         | gains mainstream popularity will share the same fate. Sure,
         | you'll be able to host your own Mastodon instance, but 99% of
         | people will be on the top 10 hosts and they won't peer with
         | you.
         | 
         | I think the only way to make distributed social media practical
         | is to have an extremely inexpensive turnkey self-hosting
         | solution for the average person. A Chromecast-like device that
         | they plug into their TV that backs up all their photos, plays
         | music, and also hosts a Mastodon instance. Some kind of very
         | friendly backup solution where you make an "emergency contacts"
         | list, and the device encrypts all of your data and stores it on
         | your emergency contacts' devices as a backup, and vice-versa.
        
           | giords wrote:
           | I was reading these tweets today confirming that this is
           | already happening in Mastodon:
           | https://twitter.com/Gravecat/status/1518598015396818944
        
             | rglullis wrote:
             | If anything, their story is more likely than not showing
             | that the centralization is _not_ going to happen. If the
             | _users_ of the instances were the ones doing the
             | segregation (due to some tribal /cultural divide), then
             | you'd end up with a small number of highly polarized
             | instances.
             | 
             | But if this is only a fight between admins, the intuition
             | is that we would end up with the big instances constantly
             | losing users to smaller ones (created by those breaking
             | away from the bad admins) who would then federate among
             | themselves.
        
             | omoikane wrote:
             | This thread matches my experience with Mastodon and
             | Diaspora*. It's fine if you are happy to live on individual
             | instances and pretend that other instances do not exist,
             | but they are not so great if you want a global audience. In
             | this sense, they are more like the random disjoint online
             | forums of the early 2000s, and not so much like the large
             | monolithic social networks that people have come to expect.
        
               | wardedVibe wrote:
               | Sounds like discord without voice and with easier
               | linking. It does seem like forum approaches are becoming
               | more common. I've heard that groups were the only part of
               | Facebook with a lot of activity, but I'm not on that
               | platform.
        
           | mypalmike wrote:
           | On Mastodon, I believe it's currently somewhat backwards from
           | this. The largest instances are filled with Japanese anime
           | porn, and the smaller instances end up blacklisting them.
        
             | Tao332 wrote:
             | If you're not spontaneously flooded with hentai, how do you
             | even know your internet is working?
        
             | rootusrootus wrote:
             | Anecdotally, this has happened every time I've set up any
             | kind of social media instance / discussion forum / BBS
             | (back in the day!) / whatever. It immediately gets consumed
             | by people who use it to host porn, and then all the
             | intended users leave.
        
               | derefr wrote:
               | Have you considered creating a discussion platform where
               | people can't post images, URLs / things that would be
               | URLs if you added a URL scheme to them, ASCII-armored
               | baseN-encoded anything, etc? For 99% of the discussion
               | you want on the platform, text is all you need. For
               | spammers and people who want to host porn, text alone is
               | useless.
        
               | sodality2 wrote:
               | Plenty of spammers rely on text, though. A good chunk of
               | my spam folder is text only.
        
               | Induane wrote:
               | I've been itching for an experiment; might be fun to make
               | a modernized BBS system for people to deploy.
        
             | skocznymroczny wrote:
             | Japanese anime porn is not something that would trigger a
             | banwave. A few posts from Trump, however...
        
               | lostcolony wrote:
               | Well, one of them is rotting the moral fabric of the
               | country, and the other is just some hand drawn people
               | having sex.
        
           | pbreit wrote:
           | Disagree. If the authentication mechanism are available from
           | the get-go, it could work.
        
             | post-it wrote:
             | Unless you can reliably tie a user to their real-life
             | identity, authentication isn't useful in this case. If a
             | spambot tries to peer with my instance, it's not super
             | helpful to know that their accounts will always be the same
             | spambot and not a different one.
        
               | thomastjeffery wrote:
               | Identities could be signed by a centralized authority,
               | which would have the same desired effect as centralized
               | hosting without the drawbacks.
        
               | akimball wrote:
               | A person is not required. A reputation is required.
        
               | deltree7 wrote:
               | In a digital world, with no financial penalties, it's
               | easy to build reputation with 'spurious' transactions and
               | exhaust that reputation for one "Large Evil Event" and
               | rinse and repeat.
        
           | abecedarius wrote:
           | > Any distributed social media that gains mainstream
           | popularity will share the same fate.
           | 
           | The experience behind this predated peer-to-peer electronic
           | cash and related developments. You may be right, and it may
           | still be too soon. But problems can be solved.
        
             | ozim wrote:
             | I don't agree.
             | 
             | There is no technical solution for people being assholes.
             | 
             | Well OK there is - turn off computer or server :)
        
             | Shish2k wrote:
             | > But problems can be solved.
             | 
             | Looking at the 30 years and millions of dollars poured into
             | making email work, the evidence seems to be against this
        
           | dotnet00 wrote:
           | One idea I've had is what if the protocol were designed in a
           | way that a server can't be scaled too much, thus forcing lots
           | of small servers to federate instead of having single
           | entities running a large server with tens of thousands of
           | users.
        
           | jonathankoren wrote:
           | Even a magic dongle isn't going to work. People don't want to
           | buy things, let alone sysadmin their own television.
           | 
           | I'd love a world where data was truly distributed and
           | federated, but unfortunately, the barrier of entry is too
           | high. Because of this people will start hosting nodes for
           | people. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but network
           | effects will take over, and we'll be back where we started.
           | 
           | Look at git. It's distributed in all the right ways, but
           | almost everyone uses github.
           | 
           | The web is decentralized, but the same few websites dominate
           | to the point that people -- even people on this very site --
           | think that you can't post a video except to YouTube.
        
           | GekkePrutser wrote:
           | I noticed a lot of German sites don't peer with anyone who
           | has the exact same rules (as in almost literally the same) as
           | them. I was surprised to see such kind of box-thinking in a
           | protocol that's been designed to be as open as possible.
        
             | Ambolia wrote:
             | I assume this is unavoidable. The only solution are
             | protocols where the network is owned and stored in the data
             | (cryptographically) rather than in the servers. Then the
             | servers apply censorship and rules over the data, but you
             | can still rebuild any conversation chain as long as you
             | connect to enough servers that don't censor it instead of
             | requiring 1 server to keep all the network relationships.
             | 
             | This also allows authors to seamlessly switch servers
             | without losing audience or at least being able to recreate
             | it very easily.
        
               | GekkePrutser wrote:
               | That's another problem: Moving your account to a
               | different server in the fediverse. Which is indeed not
               | possible currently.
               | 
               | Perhaps some kind of blockchain would be a solution? (No,
               | I'm not trying to appeal to tech investors, I actually
               | think it might offer just the solution here :P )
        
               | Ambolia wrote:
               | nostr (https://github.com/fiatjaf/nostr) seems to be a
               | minimal possible solution. It doesn't seem to be much in
               | use though, so I guess once that happens a few issues
               | will come up.
        
           | shadowgovt wrote:
           | Arguably, your prediction is even a feature, not a bug.
           | 
           | The right to peer implies the right to not peer.
        
             | Tao332 wrote:
             | Agreed. I suspect most users have been tricked into
             | thinking they want massive, global social media platforms.
             | 
             | (1) People are turning their noses up at Mastodon because
             | all of Twitter isn't already there and because you'll be
             | cut off from instances that aren't federated with yours.
             | 
             | (2) People are worried about "all of Twitter" becoming more
             | people than they would like. There are communities they'd
             | rather be cut off from and words they'd rather not read.
             | 
             | It's not a bug, it's a feature. Unfortunately, very
             | influential companies that have figured out how to game our
             | attention have tricked users into thinking they want
             | something they don't.
        
           | rglullis wrote:
           | The problem with email is that identity and authentication
           | are an afterthought. Don't forget that (in theory) it is
           | possible to get _any_ email server to relay a message for
           | you. Newer protocols do not have these kind of problems.
        
             | upofadown wrote:
             | >Don't forget that (in theory) it is possible to get any
             | email server to relay a message for you.
             | 
             | That would be an open relay. That is simply not something
             | that mail servers do anymore. If one was to deliberately
             | set up an open relay, one would find that their email
             | server was blacklisted pretty much immediately.
        
               | em3rgent0rdr wrote:
               | but then they just start a new relay.
        
             | drdaeman wrote:
             | I don't think so, I believe open relays are virtually
             | extinct. People rarely run MTAs those days, and default
             | configurations are quite protective. And if someone still
             | manages to mess it up, they're gonna get famous with all
             | the RBLs in days if not hours.
             | 
             | I self-host my mail for over 17 years. Most of the spam I'm
             | observing those days comes from hacked/broken websites
             | (sometimes it's probably some stolen SMTP credentials,
             | sometimes sent from the server directly). Legit domain
             | name, SPF and even DKIM present, looks totally legit in
             | this regard - only stopped by RBLs and content filtering.
        
             | Evidlo wrote:
             | What was the original intent of open relays? Why allow
             | emails without authentication?
        
               | bsder wrote:
               | > What was the original intent of open relays? Why allow
               | emails without authentication?
               | 
               | Store and forward.
               | 
               | Do remember that email was _THE_ great federated
               | protocol.
               | 
               | The goal of a mail server was to get your email "at least
               | one hop" closer to your destination. And that wasn't an
               | easy task.
               | 
               | Servers came online and went offline. Users logged in and
               | out. Connections came up and went down. IP wasn't the
               | only transit. DNS? Oh, the hosts file? Even higher things
               | --thing DECnet and Janet.
               | 
               | Email was _barely functional_ most days. Your best bet if
               | you weren 't an Internet God and weren't able to write
               | your own super complicated sendmail.cf was to know a
               | sysadmin at a node who had an Internet God and ask him if
               | you could forward emails that you couldn't handle to
               | their server.
        
             | ehPReth wrote:
             | indeed, my ISP only recently closed their open relay for
             | all customers
             | 
             | I remember back in the day having to change your SMTP
             | settings whenever you travelled to whatever the ISP was
             | where you were staying. then you could finally send email
             | from your @homeisp.example email
        
               | wrycoder wrote:
               | If it was only open to their customers, that's a closed
               | relay, and typical for an ISP.
        
           | seanp2k2 wrote:
           | _cough_ XMPP federation _cough_
           | 
           | Not only did Facebook and GChat refuse to peer with little
           | players, they refused to peer among the big players too. We
           | could have had something like IRC for the masses, peered chat
           | servers with bring-your-own-client. Instead, we waited
           | decades for iMessage to get Android support which only
           | happened long after everyone moved on to IG, Messenger,
           | WeChat, etc.
           | 
           | Email is probably one of the last great open[ish] distributed
           | systems we'll ever see. There are just too many incentives to
           | build walled gardens instead.
        
             | jonas21 wrote:
             | Yes, exactly. GChat supported federation at the start, but
             | they removed it due to spam [1].
             | 
             | [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11795658
        
             | ThunderSizzle wrote:
             | I'm not sure what the competitive edge could be to not wall
             | garden. It's always going to be more expensive to try to
             | work with those who don't work with you.
             | 
             | Going the self-host route, I'd still want a service of some
             | sort so I didn't have to maintain it myself. Almost like an
             | evergreen program that self-hosts my data and synchronizes
             | and backups and transfers anything and everything.
             | 
             | Everything would be accessible outside of the program as
             | local human readable or viewable files where possible.
             | That'd be the best way to be non-walled garden.
        
           | TZubiri wrote:
           | If it's so easy to self host, surely attackers will host
           | thousand of those instances and spam you.
           | 
           | PoW has been the best solution so far.
        
           | werber wrote:
           | I am hardware stupid, but I have thought about this exact
           | solution for so long. I hope someone figures this problem
           | out!
        
         | aaron_m04 wrote:
         | I have this part:
         | 
         | > I host my own email server with Vultr on an OpenBSD VM using
         | OpenSMTPD and Dovecot
         | 
         | But with outgoing mail being relayed internally to dkimproxy
         | which signs it before being relayed back to OpenSMTPD for
         | delivery to the other email server.
         | 
         | I had to set up SPF and DKIM DNS records, and one time I had to
         | request that my IP be removed from the Abusix blacklist. Other
         | than that, it's pretty rare for my emails to be marked as spam.
         | Outlook 365 seems to do it much more often than Gmail though.
        
           | zcdziura wrote:
           | That's very interesting. I never thought to relay mail
           | internally to dkimproxy. I'll have to give that a shot. I
           | like the idea of hosting the entire solution myself and not
           | relying on any 3rd party solutions, but relaying through
           | SMTP2Go was the only thing that I tried that actually solved
           | the problem. Perhaps this will offer a good solution! Thanks!
        
             | wahern wrote:
             | I also use the dkimproxy package, but there's now a third-
             | party OpenSMTPd module that can sign messages in-line.[1]
             | I've always found dkimproxy setup a little confusing
             | compared to a built-in/in-line solution. I might try to
             | switch to the module during the OpenBSD 7.1 upgrade
             | process.
             | 
             | [1] I think this is the one I had I mind, though I didn't
             | realize it was already in ports:
             | https://cvsweb.openbsd.org/ports/mail/opensmtpd-
             | filters/dkim...
        
         | inetknght wrote:
         | > _The problem is that spam was /is so bad that extreme
         | measures were taken to curb it._
         | 
         | The problem with spam is that there's no real legal recourse
         | for spam. If it's in your own country then _maybe_. But outside
         | of your country? Well the easiest thing to do is to IP block
         | and the next best thing to do (when IP block isn 't an option)
         | is to use some sort of "smart detection" to put spam into a
         | special box labeled "spam". There's no deterrence and literally
         | no criminal prosecution for spam.
        
       | yobert wrote:
       | I've been using https://maddy.email/ for self-hosting from my own
       | home server. It's amazing! It's the first time email setup has
       | been easy for me. I don't have any problems with SPAM so far, and
       | gmail accepts my messages without issue.
        
         | daliusd wrote:
         | I will second this. Using for some time and it works like a
         | charm.
        
       | ldiracdelta wrote:
       | I want a whitelisting system for email where:
       | 
       | * If you're whitelisted you get through or I can manually
       | whitelist you.
       | 
       | * If you're not whitelisted, I send a bounceback response stating
       | that I'll look at your email for $X where X is set by me ( e.g.
       | $0.25 or $1, but I decide). No guarantee of refund, but I have
       | the option of refunding. For me, if you wasted my time, I won't
       | refund. However, if you're a legit human that isn't marketing to
       | me, then I would refund.
       | 
       | Then, I just adjust the price until spam disappears or I'm
       | willing to look at your spam at that price.
        
         | cwkoss wrote:
         | I want a system where I can create destroyable email addresses,
         | so when I sign up for something it creates a single channel,
         | and if they resell that email address I can burn that channel.
         | 
         | Unfortunately `+alias`ing built into gmail is too easy to
         | subvert as everything after the + can be removed and the email
         | will still reach me.
        
           | lardissone wrote:
           | There are plenty of services that allows that. One is Apple's
           | [Hide My Email](https://support.apple.com/guide/icloud/what-
           | you-can-do-with-...) and Firefox's
           | [Relay](https://relay.firefox.com/).
        
         | teddyh wrote:
         | Please see https://craphound.com/spamsolutions.txt
        
           | ldiracdelta wrote:
           | :-)
           | 
           | Not sure about the legality and such, but rate limiting by
           | economics does work for my physical mailbox. I get spam, but
           | it isn't 1000+ letters a day like my email inbox. If I was
           | allowed to increase the cost of delivery to my house, I think
           | I could eliminate most physical spam mail in my physical
           | mailbox as well or happily find a price where I'd quit my
           | dayjob and just read whatever physical spam is sent at an
           | hourly rate I'd like.
        
         | lardissone wrote:
         | I like the first part. In fact, Hey email had this concept and
         | was the only thing I liked of that horrible email service. I
         | would like to see that somewhere else.
        
       | j45 wrote:
       | Hosting email isn't hard. Hosting email that blocks out spam, and
       | prevents your server from being hacked is more work.
       | 
       | There are some nice middle grounds for self hosting like zimbra,
       | or for the less adventurous, a tool like MDaemon which lets you
       | self host but provides support in the right areas. Incoming email
       | is pretty trivial, and outbound email can be greatly improved by
       | using an external outbound email service. Whatever works for the
       | level of time you want to invest and maintain.
       | 
       | Try it out with a domain and you'll see if it's ok for you. You
       | have to remember a lot of developers today don't have devops or
       | hosting skills. There are developers who did have to manage
       | complex web hosting themselves so it's not completely out of the
       | realm of possibility. I self hosted for a long time, switched to
       | cloud, and am thinking of switching back.
        
       | the_common_man wrote:
       | Nothing to fix, it's already solved . I host my mail using
       | cloudron on digitalocean. Have you tried selfhosting or are you
       | guessing it will be hard?
        
       | 0xbadcafebee wrote:
       | If literally anyone could find your Mastodon address and message
       | you, you'd get spammed daily there too, and it'd be the same
       | problem.
       | 
       | So you think, fine, whitelists! But you still need to be able to
       | accept messages by new authors without knowing their From:
       | address ahead of time. You'd have to comb through your spam
       | folder past tens of thousands of messages from new authors to
       | find the one new genuine sender. Rings of trust don't solve it
       | either because either you get spammed by someone in a ring of
       | trust, or messages end up in concentric rings of spam folders.
       | 
       | You _can_ host your own mail. It 's just very hard to do it
       | _correctly_ , easy to screw up, and there's basically no gain
       | whatsoever by doing it yourself. Some problems are just difficult
       | and cannot be easily solved by a single person. You can't be your
       | own CA [and have anyone trust your connections]. You can't create
       | your own TLD [and have everyone be able to resolve it]. You can't
       | create your own ASN. You can't create your own IP address. There
       | are some things in life you have little to no control over, even
       | on the Internet.
        
       | nix23 wrote:
       | I host my own servers and have no problems with it, here some
       | hints:
       | 
       | https://support.google.com/mail/answer/81126
       | 
       | https://www.mail-tester.com/
       | 
       | https://mxtoolbox.com/diagnostic.aspx
       | 
       | Test test test, and you will be fine.
        
       | dusted wrote:
       | I've self-hosted my email on my own domain, own box, in my own
       | home, on my own internet connection for two decades now.
       | 
       | I've not had trouble being marked as spam, I have set up dkim and
       | spf.
       | 
       | The real reasons you cannot self host is a combination of:
       | 
       | ISPs blocking outgoing TCP traffic with destination port 25 and
       | does not provice a smart-host / relay for you to use or does
       | provice a smart-host, but do not document it, or configures it in
       | such a way that it only relays if you have some authentication
       | that you don't, or that reverse-dns is configured (at the same
       | time, they do not provide reverse-dns for you).
        
       | nonrandomstring wrote:
       | The flagging and blocking of legitimate messages from domains
       | with good standing is not a general problem. But it is a
       | malpractice primarily of Microsoft and Google.
       | 
       | The reason is that they have clear financial incentives to
       | sabotage communications in order to press people into using their
       | services.
       | 
       | Given the centrality of email to daily life and business, big-
       | tech service providers do cause a clear harm by their actions,
       | and what is needed is are successful legal prosecutions against
       | them for that practice.
       | 
       | It's an interesting problem. In days of yore, the Royal Mail and
       | US Postal Service had special powers of state that made letters
       | sent effectively certain to be delivered. Interfering with the
       | mail was a very serious criminal/federal offence. At one time in
       | British law, the mere act of posting a letter was considered
       | tantamount it having been received, and to this day many legal
       | processes derive from that, even though the delivery has gone
       | electronic.
       | 
       | The principle agent problem is that as service providers they are
       | not impartial in their actions. While they may superficially seem
       | to have every right to block communications to users within their
       | domains "to prevent spam", or on "security" grounds, they are
       | intermediaries whose good faith is not ascertainable. Even if
       | they were acting in good faith it is a classic example of
       | iatrogenic over-reach of "care", by which nefarious motives may
       | be veiled by an appeal to seemingly reasonable "security"
       | policies.
       | 
       | While their Terms of Service clearly make no warranty for
       | delivery of important messages, this is not an acceptable level
       | of service. We have hobbled along in this legal no-mans-land for
       | 30 years at least.
       | 
       | Therefore I see the problem as more akin to a net-neutrality
       | issue and is more subtle as a rights issue than it first appears.
       | How can big service providers with an obvious conflict of
       | interest and incentive to sabotage legitimate communications be
       | made to play ball?
       | 
       | Technically we can prove, from mail relay messages, that
       | communications have been delivered to the boundary of their
       | digital estate, so the technical basis for a legal intervention
       | is there. Part of the problem is that recipients who are harmed
       | need to coordinate with senders that experience harm. And both
       | parties need the basic technical competence to know and prove
       | that they are being harmed.
       | 
       | Your mileage and anecdata may vary, but I maintain multiple mail
       | domains for projects and businesses in Europe I've set up for
       | people which send dozens of messages per day from self-hosted
       | servers. Almost none of these have any problems. The only
       | problems people report come from recipients on Microsoft and
       | Google systems.
       | 
       | I sometimes politely ask people explicitly to white-list
       | addresses, or carefully explain why a non-Google/Microsoft
       | alternative address is a more professional and reliable contact
       | point.
       | 
       | Nontheless, the 'crimes' of these big companies causes me
       | tangible cost and I do with there was a legal remedy for it.
        
       | elric wrote:
       | Currently, because MS and Google more or less have a duopoly on
       | email. They don't trust you not to send spam, and they will make
       | it as hard as possible for you to prove that you're not a
       | spammer. Ostensibly this is so they can protect their users. More
       | cynically, I suspect they're quite happy about this.
       | 
       | Historically, because we are - for whatever reason - unwilling or
       | unable to deal with spammers. I mean the people sending the spam
       | and profiting from it. There are virtually no repercussions for
       | spamming millions of people with garbage on a daily basis. Every
       | cent you make is profit.
       | 
       | Putting spammers in prison would make it a lot easier to go back
       | to hosting our own mail servers.
        
       | boplicity wrote:
       | You can, and should, host your own email. The more people do
       | this, the more companies like Google and Microsoft will be forced
       | to accept email from small servers.
       | 
       | That being said, when you set it up, make sure you set up an SPF
       | record. Also, check the IP Address to make sure it is not already
       | blacklisted.
       | 
       | Cpanel makes it almost effortless to set up an email server, if
       | you have just a little bit of tech know-how.
        
       | Melatonic wrote:
       | You definitely can but trust me - it is a huge pain in the ass
       | 
       | And I generally recommend doing a lot of hosting yourself
        
       | grymoire1 wrote:
       | I run an AWS instance that hosts my own domain mail server. I
       | have hundreds of email addresses, and each of them is forwarded
       | to a gmail account. (I use the myaddress+tag@gmail.com to make
       | each one unique. I do this to identify and squash spam - if one
       | email address becomes contaminated, I delete it and change my
       | email on the compromised company's server.
       | 
       | I also run a mailing list server.
       | 
       | So my email is usually sent from a gmail.com address, and I
       | usually receive email on my own domain.
       | 
       | Some lessons - sending email from your own domain is difficult as
       | you have to not only make it accepting to spammer-averse sites.
       | You also have to protect it from sites that would LOVE to relay
       | email through your server.
       | 
       | As for receiving and reading email on your own domain - you have
       | to provide your own spam filters - and this is VERY DIFFICULT.
       | 320 billion spam emails are sent every day, and 94% of malware is
       | delivered in those emails. That's one reason I use gmail as the
       | way I read email.
        
         | zokier wrote:
         | if you are running on aws, then using ses "solves" outgoing
         | mail?
        
       | annoyingnoob wrote:
       | You can host your own email but there are a few things you need
       | to do:
       | 
       | 1. Setup SPF, DKIM, and DMARC - you need to do all three.
       | 
       | 2. You want to use an IP range that is not otherwise used by
       | spammers or marketing people. This may be hard with a virtual
       | server in just about any datacenter.
       | 
       | 3. Consider a 3rd party spam filter, unless you like spending a
       | lot of time on spam filtering.
        
       | porsager wrote:
       | I've been runnning mailcow[1] on a small Hetzner vserver for a
       | bit more than 4 years with minimal downtime and maintenance.
       | 
       | I followed their guides for the most optimal setup, and so far i
       | feel deliverability has been comparable to commercial offerings.
       | 
       | Can certainly recommend.
       | 
       | [1] https://mailcow.email/
        
       | layer8 wrote:
       | I believe the magic part is to find a VPS whose IP block isn't
       | spam-tainted. Avoiding the largest VPS hosting providers may
       | conceivably help. But really I have no idea, and maybe one just
       | has to try a few. I'm one of those people who have been self-
       | hosting their own domain and email for roughly twenty years,
       | adding stuff like DNSBL, graylisting, DKIM, DMARC and SPF as they
       | became established. But very low-maintenance overall. I never had
       | any perceptible problems with mail delivery. Some spam gets
       | through DNSBL/spamassassin, but it's on a very manageable level.
       | I guess what I'm saying is you should give it a try. We need more
       | people doing that.
        
       | springfeld wrote:
       | E-Mail isn't email.
       | 
       | Provide as MX to your own is impossible if you only have dynamic
       | ip: Most ranges are on spam lists, for good reasons.
       | 
       | Hosting everything else is possible.
       | 
       | I work for a company that makes use of three components: a so
       | called smarthost, that does AV and Spam detection, a newsletter
       | host and groupware server.
       | 
       | Many more combinations are possible.
        
       | cj wrote:
       | > I can host my own Mastodon server, or all kinds of other
       | novelty / fun things
       | 
       | Curious, how easy it is to set up things like a self-hosted
       | Mastodon? Is it a few minutes, a few hours, or a few days worth
       | of work?
        
         | warent wrote:
         | It depends on skill level. I have a lot of experience spinning
         | up services and own a home server, so probably it would take me
         | a few minutes. That being said I've not tried it yet but will
         | be doing this weekend
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | johnklos wrote:
       | You start by grouping all sources of advice in to two categories:
       | 
       | 1) those who say you can't and/or shouldn't do it. They don't
       | know you. They might as well say you can't fix your own computer,
       | you can't learn to write a shell script, or you can't fix your
       | own car. They "can't" because they're afraid of failing. Ignore
       | them completely.
       | 
       | 2) those who say you can, and give you tips on what's difficult
       | and how to make things better. Obviously we can self host, as
       | many people, myself included, do self host, have done so for
       | ages, and will continue to do so.
       | 
       | Some people in category 1) try to make themselves seem reasonable
       | by bringing up these huge lists of things you have to do, but
       | it's all completely doable. Just recognize when a particular
       | person happens to be in category 1), and stop wasting time with
       | them :)
       | 
       | I've self-hosted continuously since the late '90s, and I've even
       | experimented with starting over, so to speak (that is, starting
       | with a completely new domain and new IP), and it's work, but
       | nothing beats OWNING your own data and email. Having direct
       | access to logs means you know exactly whether delivery attempts
       | were made, whether destination servers accepted email for
       | delivery, and precisely when. If you have an interest, it's
       | totally worth it.
        
       | lazyweb wrote:
       | I've successfully hosted my own private mail server [1] on a
       | Hetzner system for the last 6-7 years. It's a steep learning
       | curve, and a rather large time sink in the beginning to set
       | everything up, but it's been running smoothly ever since.
       | 
       | [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=30428882
        
       | BaudouinVH wrote:
       | you can host your own email : https://mailinabox.email/
        
       | pmontra wrote:
       | There are two sides of email: sending and receiving. They use
       | different protocols and often different servers. How about self
       | hosting an IMAP/POP3 server and sending mail through the SMTP
       | server of the registrar for your domain? I didn't investigate the
       | feasibility but I own two domains and I'm sending email for both
       | from the SMTP server of one of them (can't even remember why, so
       | long time passed since it happened.) I receive on their separate
       | POP3 accounts, check with K9 on Android (the original UI version)
       | and download and filter to folders with Thunderbird when I have
       | to.
        
         | supermatt wrote:
         | Being a bit of a pedant here, but you aren't "receiving" mail
         | via POP3, you are "retrieving".
         | 
         | The sending and receiving (i.e. transfer) are both part of
         | SMTP.
         | 
         | If you want to self host your own mailboxes (e.g. IMAP/POP3)
         | you will need some way to get the mail into them (mail
         | delivery) which is also (usually) SMTP.
         | 
         | But your point definitely stands - You can handle the inbound
         | side and outsource the outbound mail delivery issues.
        
       | benibela wrote:
       | I have been hosting my own mails for years
       | 
       | Although not directly. I got a webhoster, with my own domain, and
       | the hoster also provides mail servers
       | 
       | I never noticed any problems.
       | 
       | Although often people do not respond to my mails.
        
       | erdos4d wrote:
       | Have you actually tried to? I've been running my own server for
       | like 3 years now, works fine. You need to actually set up your
       | SPF/DKIM/DMARC/PTR records/etc correctly, but I've never had an
       | issue with my mail getting delivered or being sent to spam.
        
       | dinom wrote:
       | Apologies if I'm being dismissive, but obviously it's possible to
       | host email. How much there is to fix is a matter of perspective.
       | 
       | All that's required is to properly configure the service. Beyond
       | that you probably haven't paid the people who run the other
       | system enough to accept mail from you; they're under no
       | obligation.
       | 
       | I'd go on about socioeconomic factors, demand-side economies of
       | scale, perverse incentives and why it's more expensive to send
       | than receive but that's a whole thesis dissertation and
       | belaboring the point a fair bit.
        
       | StreamBright wrote:
       | Email just like all of the first generation internet protocols
       | (like FTP) suffer from the same problem. It was born in an era
       | where security and issues stemming from mass usage were non
       | existent. As time went by some US companies made email almost a
       | monopoly (Gmail) while other parties added layers of after though
       | security (DMARC, SPF, etc) while at the same time advertisment
       | (spam) also made the situation worse.
       | 
       | Hosting your own email is a problem because of these things,
       | otherwise a fun exercise (that I gave up long time ago).
        
       | julienpalard wrote:
       | Why you no host? (https://yunohost.org/) ;)
        
       | cpragadeesh wrote:
       | Its true that self-hosted email servers usually get marked as
       | spam but you can fix a lot of things and make it less likely to
       | be blocked as spam using tools like: https://www.mail-tester.com/
        
       | graderjs wrote:
       | I "sort of" hosted my own email using Sendgrid API free tier to
       | send and webhook to receive, and a custom client in a Python MPA.
       | I was chuffed I wasn't paying 5 a month for GSuite.
       | 
       | I looked later at, and set up, https://mailinabox.email/ and that
       | worked fine too.
       | 
       | I'm not sure about all the cant, it's definitely possible and I
       | never had an issue with deliverability. I had no idea what I was
       | doing but I made sure I got all the right dkim secret and signing
       | keys or whatever that was required set up "extra special like"
       | for both solutions.
       | 
       | I was not sending mail merges though so maybe that would have
       | thrown things off I don't know.
        
       | holri wrote:
       | You can host it yourself. For example with a Freedombox:
       | https://wiki.debian.org/FreedomBox/Manual/Email?action=show&...
        
       | GekkePrutser wrote:
       | Microsoft in particular is a total pain in the ass to deal with.
       | 
       | I was hosting my own mail server, did not have open relays and I
       | know 100% sure nobody on my server sent spam. It was fully
       | configured with all the DMARC and SPF trimmings.
       | 
       | Yet one of my users needed to email users at
       | live.com/outlook.com/hotmail.com and kept getting banned. Every
       | time I was able to unblock it using an automated link.
       | 
       | One time it didn't work and I actually got through to someone. He
       | was like "Yeah, your server doesn't send _enough_ legitimate
       | emails so it doesn 't build up 'reputation'". This sounds
       | ridiculous, not sending spam is not enough, you have to send a
       | certain amount of legit mails to stay unblocked??
       | 
       | Anyway it kept happening so I eventually gave up :( It only
       | happened with consumer MS-hosted emails addresses though. I had
       | no issue reaching companies using M365 for business.
       | 
       | But email is just so incredibly broken... All the patches to
       | kinda try and fix it are a mess. We need a whole new protocol.
        
       | lbriner wrote:
       | It is very doable, we host our own email servers at SmartSurvey
       | and send a relatively high amount of traffic.
       | 
       | Depending on your skill/software it might take time for you to
       | test your configuration is setup correctly although there are
       | sites like mail-tester.com that will tell you whether you have
       | SPF/DKIM etc. setup correctly.
       | 
       | The problem you might have is with cloud IP addresses. Since
       | these are reused heavily, it is possible some attacker previously
       | used your IP to send spam and got it blacklisted. If not (there
       | are services to check IPs) then you should be fine but note that
       | some lists block /24 ranges of IPs instead of specific IPs so
       | some providers are fairly unusable.
        
       | minimaul wrote:
       | You can host your own email.
       | 
       | I have been hosting my own for at least 15 years now, and I don't
       | have big issues - I can deliver email to MS, gmail, et al.
       | 
       | Pick a decent hosting provider (not the cheapest options
       | around!), make sure you have matching reverse DNS, forward DNS
       | and HELO name (exactly the same is best!) on both v4 and v6 (if
       | you have v6), disable IPv6 privacy addressing for your mail
       | server (again, if you have v6), make sure you set up SPF, DKIM
       | and DMARC, and keep your server secured.
       | 
       | By following these rules, in 15 years I have had only had
       | deliverability issues with AT&T and Deutsche Telekom - both of
       | which were fairly easily resolved.
       | 
       | In terms of software, you can use one of the out-of-the-box email
       | server packages, but I personally run postfix, dovecot and rspamd
       | on a debian stable VM. Stick to the versions from the repos and
       | you'll have very few problems upgrading it in future, too - my
       | current mailserver VM started on Debian Squeeze or Lenny around
       | 2010, and is currently on bullseye (the latest stable).
        
         | Dave3of5 wrote:
         | Basically the same setup as me other than I use ubuntu.
        
         | mattbee wrote:
         | I've run the mailu.io stack for 4 years off a Hetzner dedicated
         | server. It's an easy stack to set up and update through several
         | major versions. About 25 different mail users, friends and
         | family who aren't in IT.
         | 
         | The issues I've had have been Microsoft
         | (hotmail/outlook/office365) dumping messages into their Spam
         | folder, but that went away in the last year. I had put in a
         | hack to deliver to Microsoft through a more "reputable" SMTP
         | host, but only when people complained.
         | 
         | I'd say give it a go with a new email address, any software
         | that seems manageable to you, and move your usage over
         | gradually.
        
         | baobabKoodaa wrote:
         | > Pick a decent hosting provider (not the cheapest options
         | around!), make sure you have matching reverse DNS, forward DNS
         | and HELO name (exactly the same is best!) on both v4 and v6 (if
         | you have v6), disable IPv6 privacy addressing for your mail
         | server (again, if you have v6), make sure you set up SPF, DKIM
         | and DMARC, and keep your server secured. By following these
         | rules, in 15 years I have had only had deliverability issues
         | with AT&T and Deutsche Telekom - both of which were fairly
         | easily resolved.
         | 
         | How did you measure your deliverability? If this is true, then
         | congratz for succeeding, but it's still bad advice to give to
         | other people, as most people will not succeed no matter how
         | many hours they put into that.
        
           | minimaul wrote:
           | By the fact I get answers to emails I send to others (eg
           | people using gsuite, people using o365), and I don't get
           | issues from the sites that I run that use the mail server for
           | sending - it sends confirmation emails for a forum I run, for
           | example. I know that gmail, o365, yahoo, aol, etc work,
           | because people use those emails to sign up and manage to
           | validate their accounts.
           | 
           | I don't agree that most people will not succeed, I know many
           | other people personally who run their own mail servers. It's
           | doable, and it's not nearly as bad as some like to make out.
           | 
           | I've run low volume mail servers and high volume mail servers
           | sending (GDPR compliant!) marketing mail.
           | 
           | edit: where low volume = <1 outbound message a day.
        
             | baobabKoodaa wrote:
             | > By the fact I get answers to emails I send to others (eg
             | people using gsuite, people using o365)
             | 
             | Do you get answers to 100% of emails you send? I don't find
             | this plausible. Now, if you get answers to maybe 30% of
             | emails you send, how do you know the other 70% is just
             | because people didn't write anything back? How are you
             | ruling out the possibility that some of those 70% never
             | received your email in the first place?
             | 
             | > I don't get issues from the sites that I run that use the
             | mail server for sending - it sends confirmation emails for
             | a forum I run, for example.
             | 
             | So far I haven't encountered a _single_ email provider that
             | successfully delivers 100% of mail sent. Postmark sometimes
             | fails to deliver, SendGrid sometimes fails to deliver, etc.
             | But you 're claiming that you have found the secret sauce
             | and you actually have better deliverability than SendGrid
             | and Postmark - and that's for confirmation emails of all
             | things, the type of mail that very often lands in the spam
             | folder. I don't believe you.
        
               | mattbee wrote:
               | Nobody who is anxious about a first contact with someone
               | new will rely on email alone, anti-spam has made sure of
               | that for 25+ years. You just can't measure whether
               | someone _saw_ your email, which is all that matters to
               | email users.
               | 
               | Users do complain about unexpected bounce messages (often
               | it's an address typo). And I am pretty sure that people
               | who use gmail & hotmail are used to "checking their spam
               | folder" and fixing deliverability problems for new
               | senders that way.
               | 
               | I've been pretty slapdash about this, including selling
               | 1000s of mail servers and (apart from the adoption of
               | SPF, DKIM, DMARC) it's all the same as it was 20 years
               | ago. So I've no problem advising technically-inclined
               | people to give it a go gradually.
        
               | baobabKoodaa wrote:
               | > You just can't measure whether someone _saw_ your
               | email, which is all that matters to email users.
               | 
               | You can still measure deliverability with different
               | methods. I've used GlockApps to send test emails to a
               | variety of different inboxes at different providers and
               | it tells me what percent of those emails hit the inbox,
               | what percent went to spam folder, and what percent
               | disappeared.
        
               | mattbee wrote:
               | Yes! That site is great as a spot check, I've used it.
               | But imo if gmx.de are silently binning my messages (and
               | nobody else) it's their problem. If it's Gmail, it's my
               | problem :)
        
               | jjav wrote:
               | > So far I haven't encountered a single email provider
               | that successfully delivers 100% of mail sent.
               | 
               | There is no email provider that will deliver 100%. None.
               | As I mentioned in another comment, you can buy a gsuite
               | corporate account and send email from gmail to gmail
               | within your own company and still end up in spam. If you
               | expect 100% from any solution, you'll be disappointed.
        
               | minimaul wrote:
               | > Do you get answers to 100% of emails you send? I don't
               | find this plausible. Now, if you get answers to maybe 30%
               | of emails you send, how do you know the other 70% is just
               | because people didn't write anything back? How are you
               | ruling out the possibility that some of those 70% never
               | received your email in the first place?
               | 
               | Most of the personal email I send is to companies where I
               | do expect and get responses, or to my family, or to
               | mailing lists. I know family get my emails because they
               | respond. I know companies do because they respond to
               | support queries. I know mailing lists do because I see my
               | messages in the list archives. I know there's a good mix
               | of receiving operators because I get DMARC reports etc.
               | 
               | > So far I haven't encountered a single email provider
               | that successfully delivers 100% of mail sent. Postmark
               | sometimes fails to deliver, SendGrid sometimes fails to
               | deliver, etc. But you're claiming that you have found the
               | secret sauce and you actually have better deliverability
               | than SendGrid and Postmark - and that's for confirmation
               | emails of all things, the type of mail that very often
               | lands in the spam folder. I don't believe you.
               | 
               | I don't really care if my email ends up in spam folders
               | as long as it does not get dropped on the floor entirely,
               | but I genuinely do not get complaints where people have
               | not received/can't find their confirmation emails. I _do_
               | practise good automated email hygiene (automatic removal
               | when things bounce permanently, etc).
               | 
               | I don't know what to say that will convince you that I
               | have not personally experienced issues except with DT and
               | AT&T, but... I haven't.
        
               | baobabKoodaa wrote:
               | > Most of the personal email I send is to companies where
               | I do expect and get responses, or to my family, or to
               | mailing lists. I know family get my emails because they
               | respond. I know companies do because they respond to
               | support queries. I know mailing lists do because I see my
               | messages in the list archives. I know there's a good mix
               | of receiving operators because I get DMARC reports etc.
               | 
               | Ok, fair enough.
               | 
               | > I don't really care if my email ends up in spam folders
               | as long as it does not get dropped on the floor entirely,
               | but I genuinely do not get complaints where people have
               | not received/can't find their confirmation emails. I do
               | practise good automated email hygiene (automatic removal
               | when things bounce permanently, etc).
               | 
               | I care very much if my email ends up in spam folders. But
               | if you're only talking about your email landing (in some
               | folder), then sure, you convinced me.
        
       | stevenjgarner wrote:
       | You can - https://www.postfix-tutorial.com/
        
       | orangepurple wrote:
       | Is the impact of DKIM and SPF on email delivery measurable? Have
       | any studies on this subject been published? Such an important
       | part of our lives should be better understood. Reading this
       | thread feels like witnessing clergy swinging thuribles towards
       | the congregation while mumbling the gospel to build a connection
       | with God.
        
         | zrail wrote:
         | DKIM and SFP by themselves haven't done a ton, but they both
         | feed into DMARC which absolutely has had an effect. It's
         | probably just not what you think.
         | 
         | The point of DMARC is to protect senders from spoofing. I.e. if
         | I'm PayPal I don't want anyone to be able to spoof email from
         | my domain, so I set a DMARC policy to reject if SFP and DKIM
         | both fail. If I own a domain that I never want to be used for
         | email I can set that same DMARC policy and just neglect to set
         | up SFP and DKIM, therefore ensuring they fail.
        
       | 0ld wrote:
       | i can. so you can too. the hardest part is finding a clean ip in
       | a clean block. the rest is quite simple and straightforward.
       | dkim+spf set up was enough for my opensmtpd to deliver my mail to
       | all the big players without any going to spam
        
       | shadowgovt wrote:
       | Networks are two things: technological constructs and societal
       | constructs.
       | 
       | Technologically: email still works the way it always has.
       | 
       | Societally: because email as a construct wasn't built to account
       | for spammers, and the after-the-fact patches to address this
       | issue aren't universally rolled out or universally adopted, _and_
       | there 's little incentive for the big incumbents to provide
       | opportunities for new players by shaking up this status quo,
       | email has devolved into a (human)-trust-based network where your
       | mail only gets relayed if the relaying source trusts you as a
       | person, not a pseudonymous node online.
       | 
       | So you can stand up an email server, but the real legwork is in
       | getting a trusted authority to peer with you and route your
       | traffic.
        
       | raintrees wrote:
       | I have run my own mail server since maybe 1995? As is the case
       | with most things I have learned how to do with computers, there
       | are a few guidelines to follow (SPF, PTR record, etc.) and it
       | helps to have a static IP from your ISP, although not necessary -
       | I have several clients still hosting email using DDNS.
       | 
       | You may wish to consider using something like a Synology NAS
       | where a stripped down mail server is a free feature for 5
       | mailboxes or less. They also support DDNS...
       | 
       | And when spam levels get high, a quick analysis of source IP
       | addresses gives me new entries for a block list at my firewall. I
       | wrote a simplistic visual basic script to harvest the IP
       | addresses, since I still use Outlook as my PIM.
        
         | timbit42 wrote:
         | How do you manage a dynamic IP? Do you whitelist the entire
         | subnet? If not, do you update the DNS records every time the IP
         | changes?
        
       | buster wrote:
       | That's strange. I have a virtual server running vor about 15
       | years with several upgrades. Debian stable. Email works just fine
       | with the occasional spam mail coming through.
        
       | exdsq wrote:
       | I was looking for this recently but as a Web3 service (so
       | emailing other Ethereum addresses) and found one that let you
       | host an email account but you had to stake X amount of money to
       | use it to avoid spam (spam gets too expensive /awkward to do when
       | you have to hold $100 for a week before you can use it). Didn't
       | sign up but seemed promising that there could be some cool self-
       | hosting options in the future that somewhat mitigate spam and
       | avoids the whole current email issue. Obvious giant caveat that
       | you can only email other people who have Ethereum wallets but
       | still, thought it was pretty cool to avoid the blacklist problem.
        
         | dane-pgp wrote:
         | I think this could actually be a viable system for stopping
         | spam if it was retrofitted onto the existing email system.
         | Rather than each account putting up the bond, though, it should
         | be done at the level of domain names, and (to encourage
         | adoption) all existing mail-sending domains should be
         | grandfathered in (allowing them to use a $0 bond instead).
         | 
         | The only question is how do you stop spammers walking away with
         | their stake and creating another domain? There needs to be a
         | way to slash someone's bond, which requires some sort of
         | consensus. With DKIM signatures, it's fortunately possible to
         | cryptographically prove that a given email was sent by a given
         | domain, but ultimately you need to give potential censorship
         | powers to some entity.
         | 
         | My suggestion for doing that is getting the ITU to vote on a
         | set of maybe 7 organisations (e.g. mail providers,
         | universities, non-profits) who share spam reports with each
         | other and can slash a bond if at least 5 of them agree. Of
         | course individual mail providers would be able to override
         | these decisions and continue to accept emails from the
         | blacklisted domains (and they could obviously continue to use
         | other forms of spam filtering), but ideally the bond slashing
         | mechanism would only end up being used once as spammers tested
         | it and then gave up.
        
           | exdsq wrote:
           | > The only question is how do you stop spammers walking away
           | with their stake and creating another domain?
           | 
           | This is why I think it makes sense for an email-by-email
           | basis if you also enforce a deposit and withdrawal delay.
           | It's the simplest solution that I think could work. Not
           | perfectly, but who's willing to spend $100 per email account
           | with a 2-week delay between addresses? Add a public blacklist
           | where you can vote for people as spammers and implement on
           | your email services if you so choose, and I think you have a
           | pretty good system. You may well be right that there's an
           | elegant domain-based system with slashing and consensus but I
           | haven't thought about it long enough to think of one myself!
           | 
           | And yes you could do this off of Web3 but then you'd need an
           | escrow account and a centralised party to hold the funds
           | which isn't as decentralised as I was hoping for (at least
           | with Web3 the stake remains in my wallet), but definitely
           | possible!
           | 
           | Edit: Maybe you could do it at an account level - then if you
           | get blacklisted you'd have to open a new wallet meaning not
           | only the 2-week delay and $100 cost _but_ an additional
           | network fee. That means it 's unsustainable in the longterm.
        
             | dane-pgp wrote:
             | > And yes you could do this off of Web3 but then you'd need
             | an escrow account and a centralised party to hold the funds
             | which isn't as decentralised as I was hoping for
             | 
             | Right. In fact I was already thinking that this was a
             | (rare) situation where a smart contract on a blockchain
             | _would_ make sense, because you want transparency and
             | consensus and low-throughput financial transactions between
             | countries that don 't necessarily trust each other (or even
             | have banking connections to each other).
             | 
             | I wouldn't necessarily call that Web3, especially as there
             | wouldn't need to be any web servers involved, but I suppose
             | the system would affect people's webmail, so I can't really
             | object to the label.
        
       | mdb31 wrote:
       | I've hosted my own email since, at least 1993 (that's on the
       | Internet: I was on UUCP at least some years prior to that).
       | 
       | If you have a static IPv4 in a range that is not actively
       | hostile, and you have proper SFF/DMARC records, things should
       | generally work out?
       | 
       | And otherwise, services like https://www.mailchannels.com/ should
       | help? (Still, you will need proper SPF records.)
       | 
       | I've literally had a 95+% delivery rate from users in actual
       | Lagos Nigeria using the strategy outlined above.
        
       | yobbo wrote:
       | What do you mean by hosting? It is basically necessary to relay
       | outgoing mail via a reputable ISP in order to not be spam-sorted.
       | They will then make sure their outgoing IPs are respected.
       | 
       | For incoming mail you need a spam-filter, but that is in your
       | hands.
        
       | ankushnarula wrote:
       | Without scarcity, there will always be spam.
       | 
       | https://messari.io/article/look-to-the-stars-navigating-the-...
        
       | agentultra wrote:
       | I host my own email. I'm not permanently marked as
       | spam/blacklisted. Although it takes a fair bit of tedious setup
       | and configuration to get it to work right. And every now and
       | again a blacklist site will mark my domain temporarily when it
       | detects that some server in my IP block is acting suspicious.
       | This mainly happens because I host on a VPS.
       | 
       | The only _problem_ with email self-hosting is just how many
       | moving parts are involved in a typical setup if you 're using
       | tools from unix-land. You need many different programs to work
       | together in a typical setup:
       | 
       | - postfix
       | 
       | - dovecot
       | 
       | - spamassassin
       | 
       | - fail2ban
       | 
       | - kerberos
       | 
       | - ssl+tls
       | 
       | - etc..
       | 
       | And you have to know about how unix account security works
       | because some of the older programs haven't been updated to use
       | modern authentication mechanisms and so they need to be isolated
       | and carefully managed, etc.
       | 
       | The other problem is DNS/verification. You have to set up your
       | DNS records with arcane configuration options that are not well
       | documented in order to play along nicely with the email community
       | and not get blacklisted/blocked.
       | 
       | Some projects have popped up to try and offer containers that
       | have everything pre-configured. ymmv.
        
       | zelon88 wrote:
       | You need to have a domain name with the DMARC information in the
       | TXT DNS record. Also most large email providers have some sort of
       | separate "registration" process that internally helps them
       | perform heuristics. For example, Google calls this "Google
       | Postmaster Tools" [1].
       | 
       | [1] https://www.gmail.com/postmaster/
        
       | nathias wrote:
       | because it's secretly a social network and those are very hard
        
       | wey-gu wrote:
       | You need to maintain your ip's reputation, which, for ourselves,
       | is barely possible:(.
        
       | cube00 wrote:
       | Self hoster of 3 years here. You can do it. Don't let the big
       | players scare you off when they send your mail to spam (GMail) or
       | outright 550 refuse to accept it (Microsoft).
       | 
       | So far I've managed to avoid needing to relay my mail out using
       | something like SMTP2Go but eventually I may have to. For now
       | GMail seems to be learning when I email my regulars and Microsoft
       | unbanned me after I joined their Outlook.com Smart Network Data
       | Services (SNDS)
       | 
       | In better news, incoming mail works flawlessly. It's even spam
       | free if you use a catch all address
       | (dodgywebsite.example@yourdomain.example) and drop mail from any
       | company that leaks your address out.
        
         | swixmix wrote:
         | I also self host but on a VPS. Incoming mail works great.
         | Outgoing mail not so much unless I send it to a trusted third
         | party SMTP server. No outgoing mail fees if low traffic. Might
         | be an option to consider while building up reputation?
        
           | ulzeraj wrote:
           | Setting SPF, Dmark, DKIm and having a proper PTR record
           | significantly increases your server acceptance.
        
             | cube00 wrote:
             | I had all that setup from day one and still ended up in the
             | GMail spam and banned by Microsoft/Outlook.com (which also
             | includes anyone using Office 365 in their workplace for
             | mail)
             | 
             | I assume that's because I had no reputation, although I did
             | start on a DigitalOcean VPS before I learnt about their
             | terrible ongoing reputation for ignore abuse reports. [1]
             | 
             | [1]: https://discourse.mailinabox.email/t/digital-ocean-
             | ips-being...
        
           | pmontra wrote:
           | Which program do you use to filter incoming spam on the VPS
           | and is it working well?
        
             | TheMog wrote:
             | The two typical choices are rspamd and
             | amavisd/SpamAssassin, at least when you're using Postfix on
             | a unity environment. I use amavisd on my primary and rspamd
             | on the secondary, both seem to work OK.
             | 
             | Yes, spam will still make it through and you have to train
             | the filters in either case.
        
       | baisq wrote:
       | You can host your own mastodon server but if it fills with spam
       | others will refuse to federate with you.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | lazyier wrote:
       | It is entirely possible to host your own email server, I do it
       | for example, there is no way to reliably know that other people
       | are receiving your message.
       | 
       | That is: When self-hosting email you can reliably receive email,
       | but can't reliably send it.
       | 
       | The fundamental problem is that email is a broken protocol and
       | too many people are making too much money mitigating the problem
       | of spam rather than solving it.
       | 
       | Companies that need to keep their email servers working have to
       | deal with extortion from anti-spam companies to attain reliable
       | message delivery. It is a racket.
       | 
       | This means that even if you get everything working 100% with all
       | the perfect security protocols and conventions in place the
       | chances of anybody actually receiving your email at this point is
       | roughly 50/50. There is nothing you can do to ensure reliable
       | message delivery without getting your servers whitelisted by most
       | of the popular spam houses. And even then you have to deal with
       | large public companies like Google and Microsoft that may or may
       | not forward messages to recipient based on secret rules that
       | change constantly.
       | 
       | So while it is possible, I host my own email, I can't rely on it.
       | I use gmail for situations were reliability matters.
       | 
       | It is better to use something like Mastodon for correspondence if
       | you can help it.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | krageon wrote:
       | You can self-host, it works fine. If you want to run the server
       | from a residential IP though, you will have a bad time.
       | Otherwise, you may have to manually delist your IP from a few
       | blacklists. It's not nearly as odious as everyone claims, it just
       | isn't very fun.
        
       | Random_BSD_Geek wrote:
       | You absolutely can host your own email. I do and have since
       | before Google existed. Antispam hurdles do exist but clearing
       | them is just a process. For most people it isn't worth the
       | effort. Sometimes I wonder why I still bother, but it is
       | definitely not impossible.
        
       | ShowalkKama wrote:
       | I don't get it: I'm selfhosting my own mailserver and I have no
       | issues with gmail / outlook marking me as spam, what is everyone
       | talking about? You just need to set up DKIM, SPF and wait a
       | couple of weeks.
        
         | porbelm wrote:
         | ...and make sure your IP range is never in any blacklists, or
         | pay to whitelist your IPs
        
           | ShowalkKama wrote:
           | my ip is in the joke blacklist UCEP because "my provider
           | doesn't care about spam". Still no issues sending to gmail.
           | 
           | I'm running a tor node too (guard / middle obviously).
        
       | TZubiri wrote:
       | The biggest difference between the 2 protocols (Mastodon and
       | email) are age and volume.
       | 
       | Email is old and used by everyone, Mastodon is new and used by
       | nobody.
       | 
       | Email is targeted for attacks because it's used by a lot of
       | people and there has been enough time to develop mass messaging
       | tools.
        
       | slenk wrote:
       | Recently switch to Hetzner and have had 0 problems. They maintain
       | clean IPs and if they catch you spamming they block outbound mail
        
       | Tepix wrote:
       | I have been self-hosting my email since 20 years. It can be done.
       | I haven't had problem with mails being marked as spam for a long
       | time.
        
       | gerdesj wrote:
       | I run several small business email systems in the UK. You do need
       | to get at least SPF and the usual MX, A and PTR records sorted at
       | a minimum. Also A and PTR and (E)HELO must agree.
       | 
       | You can relay your mail via another service if you need to gather
       | some karma for your domain but ensure you get your DNS records
       | right. That way you can run your own full mail system from a
       | "dodgy" IP address.
       | 
       | It's not for everyone but neither is IT in general. If you can
       | fathom a Mastodon server then you can manage an email system -
       | technically speaking. However, you must get the basics sorted out
       | and don't send anything that can be construed as spam!
        
       | svdr wrote:
       | First, you need to set up the technical side: rDNS, SPF, DKIM,
       | DMARC, no IPv6, TLS, etc. Lots of guides on the internet for
       | that.
       | 
       | After setting up the technical side (which you can test with a
       | site like https://www.mail-tester.com), you need an IP (v4)
       | without a bad reputation. This is the hardest part, because it's
       | less easy to control.
       | 
       | If your IP has been used to send spam, or sometimes even the
       | neighbouring IP's, you won't get through to a lot of providers.
       | 
       | These are the best places (in my experience) to check IP
       | reputation:
       | 
       | https://talosintelligence.com/reputation_center/lookup
       | https://senderscore.org
       | https://www.barracudacentral.org/lookups/lookup-reputation
       | 
       | And also check for blacklists, for example with
       | https://mxtoolbox.com/blacklists.aspx.
       | 
       | If your IP is on a blacklist, you can remove is most of the time
       | by requesting it via their (90's looking) websites.
       | 
       | Also, if you send a lot of mail, Microsoft and Google have
       | programs for senders to monitor reputation:
       | 
       | https://sendersupport.olc.protection.outlook.com/snds/
       | https://www.gmail.com/postmaster/
       | 
       | But... even with an IP with a neutral reputation, your mails may
       | be sent to the spambox. You need some volume of legitimate email
       | over time to build trust (this is called warming up an IP).
        
       | leephillips wrote:
       | There's a lot of FUD out there about hosting your own email. I've
       | been doing it for years and it's great. Use postfix and dovecot,
       | and research how to maximize your delivery.
       | 
       | I notice that people recommend against self hosting by pointing
       | out that gmail, aol, hotmail, etc. are likely to hide your email
       | in spam folders, refuse it, or just silently drop it on the
       | floor. The flip side of that is that these companies are
       | providing broken email service to their customers: it's not a
       | mail delivery problem for me, it's a mail acceptance problem for
       | you. My email setup gives me about one false positive on incoming
       | mail per year, at most. So don't use these providers; their
       | service is broken.
        
       | akamaine wrote:
       | What annoys me most about email is that it's painfully hard to
       | deploy. Other things are pretty straight forward, you just run
       | them as service, probably some database with them, some http
       | proxy and that's it, you're good to go.
       | 
       | That's not the case with email. You have a lot of different
       | components to it, like postfix, dovecot, opendkim, and wtf else
       | with as many confusing configuration options and DNS fiddling. It
       | is so overly complicated for what it does that I'm starting to
       | think that email was a mistake....
        
       | spoonjim wrote:
       | The problem is that decentralized services only work when
       | everyone is on decent behavior. When the degenerates onboard, you
       | need the harsh hand of a centralized authority.
        
         | dane-pgp wrote:
         | > you need the harsh hand of a centralized authority.
         | 
         | What you actually need is reputation information, which you can
         | make your own decisions based on. Unfortunately the cheapest
         | way to gather reputation is with something like a panopticon,
         | where one party sees all interactions and everyone trusts their
         | judgement.
         | 
         | It's at least theoretically possible, though, for individual
         | nodes to securely gossip reputation information to each other,
         | which is the model that the Matrix.org team are working
         | towards:
         | 
         | https://matrix.org/blog/2020/10/19/combating-abuse-in-matrix...
        
       | robrtsql wrote:
       | In my opinion, the difference between Mastodon/ActivityPub/the
       | fediverse and email is adoption. If Mastodon was more popular:
       | 
       | - A handful of instances provided by large companies would
       | probably crop up and end up hosting the majority of users
       | 
       | - Spammers would notice that they could reach a large number of
       | people via Mastodon, and start spamming
       | 
       | - The providers of these large instances would moderate heavily
       | to prevent their own instances being used for spam, and begin
       | blocking / not federating with small instances
       | 
       | I should add that spam is probably _already_ a problem on
       | Mastodon, but perhaps not to the extent that it is for email
       | since the average Mastodon user is (for now!) way less likely to
       | fall for a scam and therefore a much less valuable target.
        
         | dane-pgp wrote:
         | The other problem with Mastodon / the Fediverse is how
         | fractured it is. Here[0][1] are some examples of the sort of
         | blocks that instance admins implement, including reasons such
         | as "Allows controversial content" and "A lot of trolls, very
         | [My Little Pony] themed".
         | 
         | I suppose it is to their credit that these instances are so
         | transparent about their blocking policies, but I think the
         | world would be a worse place if email or even Twitter made it
         | impossible for people with different politics to message each
         | other.
         | 
         | [0] https://toot.cafe/about/more#blocked-instances
         | 
         | [1] https://im-in.space/about/more#unavailable-content
        
       | itslennysfault wrote:
       | You absolutely can host your own email server. I did for over a
       | decade. Spam ranking is tied to IP addresses so you just need to
       | get an IP address that doesn't already have a bad reputation, and
       | build it a positive reputation over time. Then, as long as you
       | don't send spam from that IP you should be good as long as you
       | keep the same IP for your server.
       | 
       | That said, I abandoned running my own email server years ago. It
       | only went down a couple times on me, but when it did it was
       | always when I really didn't have time to fix it (which is
       | basically always). It's not really difficult at all, but it's
       | MUCH HARDER than just using gmail or whatever.
        
       | yubiox wrote:
       | Google still marks some of my mail as spam even though I have
       | jumped through all the spf/dkim/dmarc hoops. Yet I still get tons
       | of actual, obvious, previously-marked spam in my gmail inbox. F
       | google.
        
       | dmead wrote:
       | You can. Ive set up mail records for jobs before. Its just a
       | question of maintaining the dns records and paying whatever fee
       | to your registrar like everything else.
       | 
       | Not sure what the story is with self hosting spam filtering. I
       | think most people call an external service
        
       | planede wrote:
       | What I don't get that we now have all the DMARC infrastructure,
       | that should in theory enable to use the reputation of domains
       | _instead_ of IP addresses, but apparently nobody cares, and your
       | IP has to be reputable, no matter what.
        
       | Dave3of5 wrote:
       | You can definitely self host. In terms of spam there's a bunch of
       | config you need to do to not be put into the spam folder
       | automatically.
       | 
       | I've done it for my side project, not saying it was easy and
       | require a bit of linux knowledge but nothing you can't google.
       | 
       | Off the top of my head you have to setup your DNS and enable
       | DNSSEC SPF and DKIM records Make sure your reverse dns is setup
       | correctly DMARC as well
       | 
       | After that it's pretty much the same as your big email providers
       | you build up your reputation by not sending out spammy shit
       | emails then that's it.
       | 
       | Note: Be sure to secure your email server otherwise someone will
       | try to hack it
        
       | jeroenhd wrote:
       | I've set up my own mail server with Mailcow
       | (https://mailcow.github.io/mailcow-dockerized-docs/). Can't have
       | taken more than an hour to get everything set up, including
       | SPF/DKIM records for the domain. Set the domain, throw a `docker-
       | compose up -d` at the repo and it Pretty Much Works (TM). I need
       | to set up something to parse and visualize the DMARC reports from
       | other mail servers at some point, but that's it: fully-featured
       | mail server with ActiveSync, spam quarantines, AV, no diving into
       | obscure config files necessary. Alternatives like Mailinabox
       | provide a similar experience.
       | 
       | Some mail servers (Gmail, Outlook) discriminate against small
       | mail providers by marking their stuff as spam. Ironic, because
       | the spam I receive almost exclusively comes from free mailboxes.
       | It doesn't happen consistently, and it tends not to happen
       | anymore once the other party responds.
       | 
       | Truth to be told, I receive WAY more email than I actually send
       | so I usually don't need to care about being marked as a spammer.
       | I care more about control over my emails than I care about the
       | occasional reminder I need to give Outlook users to check the
       | spam folder.
        
         | Mazzen wrote:
         | Mailcow is the solution we use. Reliable since years and
         | feature rich. A ticket to add a dmarc parser exists but no one
         | ever contributed the plug and play solution discussed in the
         | ticket. Works pretty straight forward.
         | 
         | Mailcow, can recommend
        
       | draxil wrote:
       | You can, I do. It's really no problem.
       | 
       | You _do_ have to make a bit of effort to setup DKIM, SPF etc. But
       | really it 's not too difficult.
        
       | aasasd wrote:
       | After all websites started requiring email for interactivity, it
       | became a proxy for the identity, propped up by some trust in
       | Google and whoever else. No one is interested in letting you
       | 'confirm' your identity. This is more evident now that email
       | hosts require the phone number in turn.
       | 
       | If you're reluctant to use the centralized identity, you
       | obviously have some malicious intent.
        
       | renewiltord wrote:
       | You can do whatever you want. For a pull-based service, I have no
       | problem with you posting things, but if you're sending to me, I
       | make the rules and I'm not interested in prioritizing your
       | freedom to send things over my freedom to not receive things.
        
       | bogwog wrote:
       | Of course you can. Just try it, and you'll see that the problem
       | isn't _" I can't"_, but rather _" I don't want to deal with this
       | shit"_
        
       | [deleted]
        
       ___________________________________________________________________
       (page generated 2022-04-27 23:01 UTC)