[HN Gopher] Encouraging Self-Doubt
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Encouraging Self-Doubt
        
       Author : zdw
       Score  : 31 points
       Date   : 2022-04-11 15:49 UTC (1 days ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (michaeldehaan.substack.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (michaeldehaan.substack.com)
        
       | BlargMcLarg wrote:
       | I don't know, I just don't think encouraging self-doubt in
       | general is a great idea for the industry as a whole (right now).
       | If anything, people lack confidence given the omnipresence of
       | imposter syndrome.
       | 
       | >Excessive confidence seems to work to impress some people early
       | on, but total belief in your own abilities and eventual world
       | domination is going to make you think you can do anything, and
       | that gets in the way of making good decisions.
       | 
       | Really, how many people truly reach that stage? The far majority
       | of professional tech people I meet are so humble they barely even
       | question management on technical decisions. Maybe that's just my
       | experience with primarily passive people, but it certainly
       | doesn't reflect what I tend to see here, on Twitter and on
       | Reddit.
        
         | keynesyoudigit wrote:
         | IME, "Excessive confidence" is usually a shield for insecurity
         | anyway.
        
       | recursivedoubts wrote:
       | "What embitters the world is not excess of criticism, but an
       | absence of self-criticism." ~ G. K. Chesterton
        
         | philosopher1234 wrote:
         | Extremely self critical people can be extremely hateful. Its
         | hard to keep self criticism contained to the self. And if
         | you're already self critical, its hard to handle others
         | criticism of you.
        
           | recursivedoubts wrote:
           | Broadly, I don't notice a surfeit of self-criticism in
           | today's world.
        
           | jimkleiber wrote:
           | +5. I wanted to +1 but I really liked what you said.
           | 
           | Someone said to me the other day they were afraid to tell me
           | how they speak to themself and much they hate themself.
           | 
           | I'm getting much better at recognizing when someone says
           | something to me about my life and it pisses me off, it's
           | often because I've been saying that same thing to myself 10x.
           | "You should just get a stable job" when someone else says
           | that, I get angry at them saying it, only to (hopefully
           | sooner rather than later) realize "ah it's because I've
           | already heard that message 10 times today in my own head."
        
             | recursivedoubts wrote:
             | Self-hatred and self-criticism are separate things: the
             | former an emotion the latter a rational process.
             | 
             | We live in an emotional age and thus it is easy to conflate
             | the two. But they are different.
        
           | _moof wrote:
           | There are two kinds of criticism: the kind that seeks to tear
           | down, and the kind that seeks to build up. When people talk
           | about being "self-critical" it's usually the tear-down kind,
           | or what therapists call negative self-talk. I think in this
           | case though it's being used as an antonym for arrogance.
        
       | svilen_dobrev wrote:
       | don't always believe yourself. but always believe in yourself.
        
       | dav_Oz wrote:
       | "Encouraging Self-Doubt" in someone who is over-confident?
       | 
       | I can encourage self-doubt when I begin to harbour some doubts
       | but when I'm already over-confident - per definition - I am not
       | able to do that. Actually psychologically it is way more nuanced.
       | 
       | Overly confident people by suppressing any doubts can get caught
       | in a trap - a negative feedback loop - where even trivial
       | questions "How was your day?" can cast suspicion. [in the
       | (extreme) edge case of stimulant (mis-)use full-blown paranoia is
       | common].
       | 
       | For someone with a lack of confidence being on the opposite side
       | of that spectrum encouraging self-doubt defeats the purpose
       | [interestingly the edge case can also lead to paranoia].
       | 
       | Normally, most people find themselves neither on the one nor the
       | other extreme (it is simply not sustainable). When someone has a
       | tendency to be overconfident, yeah a cue like "encouraging self
       | doubt" might help but a more sustainable approach would be to
       | take a step back and ask yourself: Where does my tendency to be
       | at times overconfident come from?
       | 
       | Our "traits" are a complex result of adaptations to our
       | environment (limited of course by our genetic contingencies) but
       | by the time we become adults some of those get misaligned (in our
       | "artificial" and fast-changing environment). So asking the
       | question in which way did my overconfidence now served me as a
       | good strategy before it morphed into "over"-confidence is a more
       | constructive way forward because it takes into account both where
       | "I" come from and where I "now" want to successfully go. That's
       | what our prefrontal cortex simplistically speaking is all about.
       | Not easy, it takes patience and long planning in advance but
       | worth the effort to build up the resources. It gets way harder
       | once you are older. This is something I mostly "encourage" young
       | people (<25 yr: before the brain/prefrontal cortex is fully
       | developed) to take into account.
        
       | yawnxyz wrote:
       | In terms of people thinking startup founders being over-confident
       | to the point of being caricatures -- There's a huge amount of
       | survivorship bias. For any one successful startup, let alone
       | momentarily "successful" ones like WeWork and Fast, there are
       | probably thousands of startups that don't go anywhere (mine
       | included).
       | 
       | Maybe founders of startups that don't go anywhere fall within the
       | self-doubter camp? They don't survive, so the world never hears
       | about them. Only the successful, over-confident ones.
        
       | drewcoo wrote:
       | Encouraging Self-doubt? Cognitive dissonance.
       | 
       | I don't think questioning a thing is the same as doubting it. In
       | fact questioning it can make me a more ardent believer.
        
         | ohwellhere wrote:
         | I think the author is right in his points, but his choice of
         | phrasing may not be as accurate as possible.
         | 
         | Rather than "encouraging self-doubt", I think he is suggesting
         | a culture of introspection, self-awareness, process-oriented
         | thinking, and especially humility.
         | 
         | Rather than discouraging "confidence", I think he is
         | discouraging hubris, pride, arrogance, and results-oriented
         | thinking.
        
         | eternityforest wrote:
         | "we should encourage self doubt" not "Self doubt that is
         | encouraging". I don't see the dissonance.
         | 
         | It's just a less controversial way to say "Let's discourage
         | confidence " which is what I probably would have said, because
         | I'm not a fan of confidence culture.
        
       | andai wrote:
       | This seems like trying to harness Dunning-Kruger (high ability
       | leads to self-doubt) backwards: self-doubt leading to higher
       | ability? As others have clarified below, this may work in the
       | sense that reflecting on experiences increases your wisdom. The
       | amount of reflection done seems to be largely a function of
       | personality, but maybe it can also be a function of culture. I'm
       | not sure what that would look like though, can reflection be
       | institutionalized or just encouraged on a personal level?
        
       ___________________________________________________________________
       (page generated 2022-04-12 23:01 UTC)