[HN Gopher] Show HN: Life calendar - use the concept of Memento ...
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Show HN: Life calendar - use the concept of Memento mori to embrace
       every week
        
       Author : chestercodes
       Score  : 93 points
       Date   : 2022-01-18 12:42 UTC (10 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (life-cal.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (life-cal.com)
        
       | gurjeet wrote:
       | The OP is paid (else watermarked). I had made a crude version of
       | this for myself some time ago [1]. It's available for free and is
       | somewhat customizable
       | 
       | The preview on the right seems to be blank, but if you click on
       | the 'Download' link, it generates the PDF correctly/as intended.
       | 
       | To get a sheet where you get to cross off everything on your own,
       | just use 0 as the age in the input box.
       | 
       | [1]: http://q.ht/life-in-weeks-on-one-sheet/
        
       | bertr4nd wrote:
       | This isn't exactly the same as a deathbed experience, but about
       | two years ago I had a devastating lumbar disc hernia that landed
       | me in the ER with such pain that I couldn't stand, or even roll
       | over.
       | 
       | I remember thinking that my biggest regret was that I had
       | prioritized my job over my health. I'd stopped exercising and was
       | overeating because my work was in a bad place and I was trying to
       | scrape together every moment to make progress, and I'm sure that
       | had a deleterious effect on my spine health.
       | 
       | I resolved that going forward I would prioritize my health (and
       | my family) over my job.
       | 
       | I succeeded at maintaining those priorities for a while, and
       | luckily my back healed relatively well. But I'll admit that job
       | stress ramped back up, and as I felt physically better it was all
       | to easy to shift back into the same old patterns.
        
       | groby_b wrote:
       | Slowly approaching the point of being... well, let's call it
       | "mature" ;) ... I'd like to offer a slightly different
       | perspective.
       | 
       | When you're young, constantly focusing on your deathbed is
       | frankly a waste of time. Focus on your friends. Focus on having
       | experiences that make great stories to share with your friends.
       | Enjoy life.
       | 
       | Don't worry, as you age, you'll certainly focus on mortality. But
       | I'm firmly convinced that having a full, joyous life always
       | trumps striving for doing things you'll recall on your deathbed.
       | Once I get there, if I feel loved, that will be enough.
        
       | dddddaviddddd wrote:
       | Great idea, but why the need to sign in!?
        
       | alpineidyll3 wrote:
       | Screw deathbeds. I'm just a guy looking for his ice floe..
        
       | dhimes wrote:
       | This is interesting. I once calculated the approximate number of
       | weeks I had left to live and wrote it on my whiteboard,
       | estimating my lifespan from family history and trends (+ 4
       | years/generation for my family's men). I subtracted 1 every
       | Monday.
       | 
       | My wife thought it was pretty morbid. I never thought to
       | deliberately punctuate each week, though. It was motivating at
       | first, but wore off.
        
       | druadh wrote:
       | I love the idea and the simplicity, but that's all out the window
       | as soon as I'm asked to log in. Remove the login requirement and
       | you'll likely see more use! Good luck
        
       | danielskogly wrote:
       | The Kurzgezagt shop also has some nice "Calendar of your life"
       | posters[0] based on the "What Are You Doing With Your Life? The
       | Tail End" animation they did last year, which is again based on
       | the Wait But Why article "Your Life in Weeks"[2].
       | 
       | [0] https://shop-eu.kurzgesagt.org/collections/existential-
       | dread...
       | 
       | [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXeJANDKwDc
       | 
       | [2] https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html
        
         | gurkendoktor wrote:
         | Thanks, I didn't know kurzgesagt had them on their shop as
         | well. I've ordered mine from the waitbutwhy shop after reading
         | the blog post, which was pretty silly for a piece of paper to
         | be sent to Germany. Oh well.
         | 
         | Then I got stuck filling it out: Is week #1 (the square in the
         | top left corner) the first calendar week of my birth year? Or
         | is it the first week of my life? The latter makes more sense,
         | but then it gets really tedious to translate timestamps for
         | university graduation etc. (OP takes the birthday into account
         | and offers month markers. Good idea.)
         | 
         | The life calendar is now posted next to my desk, still empty
         | half a year later. Once/if I get to filling it out, I should
         | mark this long period of time where I have it but don't use it.
         | Time flies.
        
       | rvieira wrote:
       | This may work wonders for others, but it would be terrible for
       | me.
       | 
       | This would make me think (obsess) about running out of time and
       | on toiling to make a "legacy". I like the exact opposite, _not_
       | thinking about mortality or legacy. This gives me the freedom to
       | just enjoy every week and try to do things that make me happy.
        
         | quaffapint wrote:
         | You're not wrong. I get more stressed when I can't just think
         | and live in the moment. Not that we should ignore the big
         | picture, but life is the moment to moment. Trying to live like
         | all we do is what people post on social media would just lead
         | to a downward spiral.
        
       | sAbakumoff wrote:
       | >> What have you done in the last week that you will remember on
       | your death bed?
       | 
       | Why would I need to remember ANYTHING on my death bed? It's not
       | even clear that it will be a "bed". Climate change, nuclear war,
       | next pandemic, political violence could kill me. Even if I am
       | happy enough to have a "bed", I will spend my last minutes
       | watching the transition and not giving a sht to my memories.
        
       | yessirwhatever wrote:
       | I read a quote today that I think is relevant:
       | 
       | > "Do not ask your children to strive for extraordinary lives.
       | Such striving may seem admirable, but it is the way of
       | foolishness. Help them instead to find the wonder and the marvel
       | of an ordinary life. Show them the joy of tasting tomatoes,
       | apples and pears. Show them how to cry when pets and people die.
       | Show them the infinite pleasure in the touch of a hand. And make
       | the ordinary come alive for them. The extraordinary will take
       | care of itself."
       | 
       | - William Martin
       | 
       | The idea that one needs to do something memorable every week
       | sounds like a recipe for disaster, burnout at a young age or
       | depression. So no thank you, I'll take my ordinary life which is
       | full of ups and downs.
       | 
       | Sidenote: The fact that a sign up is needed to download a PDF
       | makes me think that you're using this as a way to farm for user
       | data and makes me distrust your intention.
        
         | Fnoord wrote:
         | So, I have a family. When I do something memorable in a weekend
         | which involves social action (such as going to the zoo with the
         | family, or a birthday party), I need to recover from it. I
         | can't do something similar next weekend, I need to relax the
         | weekend after. Maybe its the fact I am autistic.
         | 
         | I don't fancy the life calendar stuff. I am very curious by
         | nature, and curiosity I find the most important in 'doing'. I
         | really don't need to stimulate that, just like I don't need
         | psychedelics or weed to get open minded (been there, done it).
        
           | stronglikedan wrote:
           | I'm the same. I've attributed it to being a natural
           | introvert. Extroverts seem to gain energy through social
           | interactions, and can do one social event after another.
           | Introverts seem to expend energy, and need a recharge
           | between.
        
         | auslegung wrote:
         | I saw a tree yesterday. It was beautiful. The sun was close to
         | setting, the sky was completely clear. The color of the sky
         | went from a beautiful clear blue down to a very pale almost
         | green color at the horizon, backdropping the tree. I may
         | remember this the rest of my life.
        
           | psychoslave wrote:
           | Also remember none of those things would have been possible
           | without you observing it.
           | 
           | https://www.nsta.org/q-if-tree-falls-forest-and-theres-no-
           | on...
        
         | vincentmarle wrote:
         | Mindfulness (what you're basically describing) does not
         | conflict with memento mori. When you realize that this tomato
         | could be the last tomato you'll be eating, having the
         | conversation with your kid be the last conversation you'll be
         | having etc etc you'll fully appreciate each moment in life as
         | if it could be your last.
        
           | krageon wrote:
           | > Mindfulness
           | 
           | Mindfulness is a product of an industry seeking to capitalise
           | on the yoga pants (and later suits) demographic, to great
           | success. Let's not legitimise it by using it as an example of
           | healthy thinking, because it's not.
        
             | wobblybubble wrote:
             | Mindfulness is an English translation of the Buddhist word
             | "sati" which Buddhists use to describe one particular
             | quality of meditation. To dismiss it because some people
             | have coopted it would be like, well, to dismiss the yoga
             | tradition because of "yoga pants".
        
               | Graffur wrote:
               | Can we dismiss yoga for silliness anyway?
        
             | SamBam wrote:
             | Just because something valuable can also be exploited by
             | greedy capitalists does not stop it from being valuable.
             | 
             | There _are_ some legitimate reasons to be wary of the push
             | for mindfulness -- for example, when it is pushed by
             | employers to try and increase employee satisfaction and
             | retention, in lieu of actually improving their quality of
             | life -- but that certainly doesn 't mean the practice
             | itself is bad.
        
           | javert wrote:
           | I think a death-centric way of thinking about life is
           | unhealthy.
           | 
           | The fact of death isn't what makes things valuable or
           | meaningful.
           | 
           | The fact that our time span to enjoy things is limited also
           | isn't what makes them valuable or meaningful.
           | 
           | The quote is describing much more than mindfulness. It's
           | saying that values and meaning are right in front of us. To
           | reduce that to mindfulness misses the value in what it's
           | saying.
        
             | bobthechef wrote:
        
           | shantnutiwari wrote:
           | The OP is talking about enjoying the small things in life,
           | which is clearly not mindfulness.
           | 
           | >> When you realize that this tomato could be the last tomato
           | you'll be eating
           | 
           | You're confusing Stoicism with Mindfulness.
        
             | SamBam wrote:
             | There is some overlap. There is the Buddhist practice of
             | Maranasati (mindfulness of death, death awareness), which
             | is very similar to the Stoic practice of remembering that
             | death or loss can strike at any time. Similarly, Vipassana,
             | or Insight Meditation, which is one of the forerunners to
             | the westernized mindfulness meditation, includes a focus on
             | impermanence.
        
         | matwood wrote:
         | > The idea that one needs to do something memorable
         | 
         | I agree, which is why I try to view the little things as
         | memorable. Laying on the couch with my dog or cooking for my
         | wife is a little thing, but amazing and memorable. Doom
         | scrolling, not so much.
        
           | shawa_a_a wrote:
           | I've recently incorporated exactly this into my journaling
           | routine and find it a delight to look back on. At the end of
           | the day I'll be sure to write down one or two perfectly run-
           | of-the-mill, but joyful things that happened to me, or that I
           | noticed that day.
           | 
           | For example meeting a particularly friendly dog on the metro,
           | a peculiar piece of graffiti, or just something a friend said
           | that I found particularly funny.
           | 
           | It's these small little moments that when stitched together
           | over time that make up a "life well lived" in my opinion,
           | much more so than setting large lofty goals or striving for
           | doing "memorable" things.
        
         | z5h wrote:
         | Thank you for this comment!
         | 
         | I'd like to add another detail, which is that people generally
         | accept the idea that "deathbed perspective" is a highly
         | privileged perspective, but with no real justification for this
         | position. Here's a good article that questions this idea:
         | https://aeon.co/essays/why-is-the-deathbed-perspective-consi...
        
           | wnolens wrote:
           | I always thought it was kind of silly to live your life so
           | that for 1 day at the end of 80 years, you have some pleasant
           | thoughts (assuming you are know you will die and aren't
           | absolutely in miserable pain anyway).
           | 
           | I get that it's more a heuristic for living a good life. But
           | life is so uncertain and your goals subject to change
           | _significantly_ every 5-10 years.
        
             | BeetleB wrote:
             | You don't need to wait till you're at your deathbed. You
             | can do this assessment every 5-10 years. When you're past
             | 40, you've lived quite a bit. You can look back and see
             | what was worth it and what wasn't.
             | 
             | For me, stuff I regretted wasting time on while younger
             | (e.g. too many video games) bring back much better memories
             | than doing things I (mistakenly) thought had more value.
             | Quitting gaming in my early 20's was, in retrospect, not a
             | great idea.
             | 
             | But yeah, I agree with you somewhat. A lot of people who
             | live to a fairly old age actually have said that if you
             | live long enough, you'll realize that "nothing matters". So
             | probably not best to put too much weight on their
             | perspective.
        
         | b0tch7 wrote:
         | Sam Harris has a brilliantly balanced take on this subject:
         | https://youtu.be/GL2uFYi86kk
         | 
         | Memento mori doesn't mean every moment needs to be absolutely
         | epic. But a mindful approach can alleviate daily stresses,
         | concerns, fights etc. You're gonna die one day, so just relax
         | and enjoy this moment, whatever you happen to be doing!
        
       | Brajeshwar wrote:
       | If you are into this, have a look at Timestripe[1]. It is done
       | pretty nicely and well executed. I almost went into it but I
       | didn't want to get stuck, and gave up on the tool but I do like
       | the idea.
       | 
       | 1. https://timestripe.com
        
       | pegyong wrote:
       | Reading that kind of opening statement makes me more become aware
       | of what I do in my life.
        
       | textcortex wrote:
       | Well done! Stoics will love it :)
        
       | davchana wrote:
       | Around 2014 I came across this article of Wait But Why,
       | https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/05/life-weeks.html
       | 
       | Which lists the same things, same concept, but instead of a pdf,
       | it gives you a jog of same grid.
       | 
       | I personally used an excel sheet with first column listing my age
       | in years, like 0,1,2, all the way till 90.
       | 
       | First row has months spanning across four columns, so B1:B5 will
       | be Jan, & so on till Dec. Last column has year in YY format, so
       | it starts from 84,85,86 etc for total 90 years.
       | 
       | First row & first column, i.e. headers are fixed view.
       | 
       | Each of the actual cells are all light grey border, with month
       | bounry (every 4th column) a bit darker grey. The overall
       | boundary, 12x4= 48 columns and 90 rows have thick black border.
       | 
       | All columns have vertical center text, and left aligned.
       | 
       | All cells, columns, rows have exact same width height, not
       | headers.
       | 
       | Each of the month is roughly divided between 4 parts, 1 to 7, 8
       | to 14, 15 to 21, & 21+.
       | 
       | First entry simply says Born. On my birthday.
       | 
       | Then school classes, they all start in April first week. First,
       | Second etc.
       | 
       | Then college.
       | 
       | Some personal events, like birth of my siblings.
       | 
       | Every time something major happens (like relocation), I change
       | the background of those cells to another pastel color.
       | 
       | Text left aligned, so overflow flows over to next columns.
       | 
       | Someday I will make a blog post at davinder.net & will attach a
       | blank all setup excel sheet, for no money :)
        
       | ziggus wrote:
       | I really like this idea, and have thought about doing something
       | similar - glad somebody did it!
       | 
       | However, why on earth do I have to sign in?
        
       | stbtrax wrote:
       | The thought of not having anything significant to remember a week
       | by, and then thinking about how finite those are seems to depress
       | me more than inspire.
        
         | edf13 wrote:
         | Same here... the whole idea of this depresses me! I couldn't
         | bring myself to fill in the form to create the calendar1
        
         | OJFord wrote:
         | I feel the same way, and also about those apps people use to
         | record a short clip or take a photograph every day. But I
         | gather they are relatively popular, so what do I know!
        
           | busymom0 wrote:
           | Those short clip apps seem like an Instagram profile which
           | has been converted into a video.
        
           | escapedmoose wrote:
           | I've been using one of those "short clip everyday" apps for
           | the last 6 years. The only noticeable effect it's had on my
           | life is that I have mundane/everyday/real-life footage of
           | people/pets who have passed away unexpectedly. So when family
           | members are looking for a way to remember them, they tend to
           | ask me if I can dig up any of my "one seconds." It's a
           | bittersweet job, but I'm glad I'm able to provide some
           | comfort that way.
        
       | dukeofdoom wrote:
       | I know some youtube channels are basically "a week in my life"
       | concepts. Seems to me trying to make a good video about your
       | week, would motivate you to have an interesting week. Making the
       | video would the reflective part. Seems to me it would work better
       | than a calendar.
        
       | sebastianconcpt wrote:
       | This is really good!
        
       | machinerychorus wrote:
       | I made an Android live wallpaper with a similar premise:
       | 
       | https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.machineryc...
        
       | 4gotunameagain wrote:
       | Being asked to sign in _after_ spending time to customise
       | _anything_ , should be illegal.
        
         | toyg wrote:
         | Only if you lose such customizations; otherwise I actually
         | think it's a Good Thing that I get to play without handing out
         | an email address (or worse).
        
       | distalx wrote:
       | A couple of alternatives that don't require you to log-in.
       | 
       | - https://memento-mori-calendar.vercel.app/ -
       | https://www.bryanbraun.com/your-life/ -
       | https://www.ekn.io/calendar/
        
       | jfk13 wrote:
       | If you're going to use terms like Memento Mori, please at least
       | spell them correctly and consistently.
        
         | chestercodes wrote:
         | Oops, that's embarrassing, cheers for pointing it out :)
        
         | [deleted]
        
       | probably_wrong wrote:
       | > _What have you done in the last week that you will remember on
       | your death bed?_
       | 
       | I will probably be murdered in my sleep by the person in charge
       | of maintaining the code I'm writing right now. So, that.
       | 
       | But more to the point: I write code, I like writing code, and I
       | have embraced the fact that writing code makes me happy. At the
       | risk of sounding like the comic book guy in the Simpsons movie, I
       | will probably look back and say "I regret nothing". I never
       | regretted the weekend nights I spent exploring the Web with my
       | 56k modem, and I don't think I'll start now.
        
       | jd24 wrote:
       | Saving you a click: the site requires you to submit your email
       | address.
        
       | hnthrowaway0315 wrote:
       | Approaching the age of 40, I have to admit that I'll probably
       | live a very boring and forgettable life.
       | 
       | I guess I'll guide my son to find some passion early in his life,
       | so that even though his life might as well be a boring one, he
       | himself may have the luxury of regarding it as a slightly more
       | interesting one.
        
       | tmarice wrote:
       | Love the concept, not so much the execution.
       | 
       | The "Login after customizing everything" and "Pay to remove the
       | watermark which renders the calendar useless" are borderline dark
       | patterns.
       | 
       | But on the positive, it gave me an idea to make my own version of
       | this calendar, sans the money grab.
        
         | jehb wrote:
         | The watermark literally just fell off of the document when I
         | opened it in Inkscape. Everything else (except the watermark)
         | rendered there, so it was completely clean just by opening.
         | (Sorry, OP.)
        
           | mrleinad wrote:
           | It can be removed using Acrobat too, so...
        
         | trevormcneal wrote:
         | - What you did that week ? - I tried to scam some people on the
         | internet with some cheap pdf
        
         | foobiekr wrote:
         | I've been meaning to work on one that I can incrementally add
         | to over time both historically and present day.
         | 
         | I would really like to have one That has labels external to the
         | life calendar itself poking into it like a giant cactus. I
         | don't want to create want to go, I figure it'll take me a full
         | year to actually populate the thing with the events that I
         | either recapture by residing old photos, journal entries or
         | otherwise talking to my wife.
         | 
         | What can I say, I'm old and remembering important events isn't
         | going to happen all at once.
        
         | m_a_g wrote:
         | Totally agree. Dark patterns making it to the front page always
         | baffles me.
        
         | iakov wrote:
         | If you get to do it - let HN know. I like the idea but despise
         | the dark patterns that author employed in his work.
        
       | phtrivier wrote:
       | That's nice.
       | 
       | May I suggest you make it clear from the front page that the
       | design costs 10$ ?
        
       | trevormcneal wrote:
       | Just to download a pdf...
       | 
       | The Company may use Personal Data for the following purposes: To
       | provide and maintain our Service, including to monitor the usage
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         | chestercodes wrote:
         | Cheers for the feedback :) I used a free privacy policy
         | generator, which in retrospect was a mistake as it is much
         | broader than my intentions. If anyone is worried, no data will
         | leave the identity provider service.
        
           | foobiekr wrote:
           | So fix your license.
        
           | krageon wrote:
           | > If anyone is worried, [...]
           | 
           | The worry comes from what you can do. If you did not want
           | this power you would not ask for the information and
           | explicitly say you have power over it.
        
           | leetrout wrote:
           | Yea, but why do you even need an email if everything is
           | running locally?
        
           | ng-user wrote:
           | Piggybacking off this comment to say, I made it 95% of the
           | way to downloading the calendar before the "Sign in" button
           | made me close the tab. There is no valid reason why I need to
           | authenticate and provide you my account information to
           | download a generic PDF, the juice ain't worth the squeeze
           | imo.
        
       | phgn wrote:
       | I created my own calendar like this 2 days ago. You can mark all
       | kinds of significant events you remember and see how they fit
       | into your life so far. It's incredible how much things change
       | over a few years time.
       | 
       | Tip: If you're from the EU, A4 paper pages with 0.5cm lines
       | perfectly fit 52 weeks x 36 years. No printer needed.
        
       | vanka wrote:
       | I did once a similar project, but for Mac only. The project was
       | not successful at all, maybe I didn't market it properly, but it
       | seems people don't know how to use it (it needs a lot of
       | determination from a user).
       | 
       | Now I'm thinking of pivoting this thing, maybe someone want to
       | collaborate? The siteL https://motley.place, sorry but the intro
       | video is in Russian.
        
       | mrthrtrk wrote:
       | Memento mori is not about creating spectacular moments that you
       | will remember in your death bed. It's about being in the present
       | moment and always doing your best as if it's the last thing you
       | might be doing (knowing that your best changes day to day... see
       | The Four Agreements from Don Miguel Ruiz, the fourth agreement).
       | Stoicism is not about creating a memory, it's about living in the
       | present moment.
        
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       (page generated 2022-01-18 23:02 UTC)