[HN Gopher] Show HN: Meetup with other travelers in a new place
___________________________________________________________________
Show HN: Meetup with other travelers in a new place
Author : danieltait
Score : 209 points
Date : 2022-01-04 12:39 UTC (10 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (travelfriends.xyz)
(TXT) w3m dump (travelfriends.xyz)
| wayoutthere wrote:
| Isn't this what hostels are for? Not shitposting at all; the
| organic aspect of it is why I stay at hostels well into my 30s.
| 123anonanonanon wrote:
| Can I add a profile for the place I live? I can show you arround.
| danieltait wrote:
| Nice idea! Adding an option now
| danieltait wrote:
| Added now!
| danieltait wrote:
| I used to rely on my hostel to meet other travelers in a new
| place, but now I stay alone in airbnbs so I can work during the
| day.
|
| I've found this to be a lot more isolating so I've created a map
| where I can add my profile and explore if there are any other
| travelers nearby to meetup with - https://travelfriends.xyz
|
| It's pretty basic but would love some feedback if any of you
| would use it? My friends liked the idea and a few of them have
| added their profiles.
|
| I've also asked the local hostels to post it on their boards
| because I thought it could also be a nice way for shyer people to
| meet others in their hostel.
|
| What do you think?
| Emma_Goldman wrote:
| Great idea. I would offer two suggestions.
|
| One, two of the six people currently registered on the site
| live in the locations they cite - they aren't travellers at
| all. Seems like that would undermine the USP of the site and
| confuse travellers. Looking at Paul's picture, his use of the
| wink emoji, and the fact he's bragging about his job
| (inadvertently or not), make it look like he's using the site
| to meet women. That could be a big problem.
|
| Second and relatedly, you need to a way to stop abuse. Up-
| voting and moderation will be needed in some form. But also
| some basic safety guidelines, i.e., always meet in groups and
| in public places.
| maury91 wrote:
| I agree on using the website to pickup girls is wrong ( and
| probably not effective ), but not being a traveler doesn't
| sounds bad, when I travel somewhere having a local show me
| the place would be nice, maybe just having a different
| profile for "locals" would help.
| jazzyjackson wrote:
| Agreed, my best airbnb hosts have been former couch-surfers
| who had traveled a lot but then settled down with a few
| spare bedrooms to offer up to the next generation of
| vagabonds.
| willcipriano wrote:
| I'll share my trick for young men on here now that I'm long
| retired from that dance, a women's expectations increase when
| she thinks you are hitting on her. Turning a friendly outing
| into a date if the chemistry lines up is easier than starting
| as a date from go. Women get approached by men from about 13
| onward and you have to be careful to not trip their masterful
| bs detectors, fastest way to do that is to not be a
| bullshitter in the first place but I think most young men
| don't have the self esteem to do that.
| MimiKG wrote:
| Have a checkmark indicating whether interested in romantic
| relationships. Suggest tourists have touristy photos: the
| photos already on this site are endearingly adventuresome.
| Indicate preferred languages. I like the meetup interests
| idea.
|
| Confession: I come from a large enough extended family that I
| usually already know people in the cities I visit.
| rosndo wrote:
| To be fair, the whole hookup thing hasn't worked too badly
| for couchsurfing. Perhaps it's just inevitable that people
| will use these sites to get laid?
| theklr wrote:
| That. I think just if this is to scale, have some
| iconography to indicate the types of relationships you're
| providing/looking for.
| hihihihi1234 wrote:
| Couchsurfing went from being widely used and respected by
| travellers everywhere to being almost completely dead and
| forgotten. How did anything work out well for that site?
| yosito wrote:
| Couchsurfing has tried to kill their app, but people
| still somehow use it.
| yosito wrote:
| People have been using social things to get laid since the
| beginning of humanity. Nothing wrong with that. But a site
| full of low quality thirsty profiles isn't going to appeal
| to a large group of people.
| hihihihi1234 wrote:
| Aren't most dating sites full of low quality thirsty
| profiles?
| ricksunny wrote:
| Good luck! I always miss the travel experiences of meeting
| temporary friends for a hike or urban exploration. Even for
| staying in very loose touch on facebook afterward it's not the
| same thing; There's something to be said for the ephemeral-yet-
| genuine quality of these kinds of serendipitously shared travel
| experiences.
| wombat-man wrote:
| I know this isn't really what you're asking but I know someone
| who will stay in an AirBnb and register at a hostel for a bunk
| too since it's pretty low added cost.
|
| Then he shows up to the group stuff but actually crashes
| elsewhere.
|
| As for the site, it feels a teeny bit like a dating site right
| now. Uh, I'd consider taking it a step further and let the
| travelers say they are "Looking for group" for a specific
| activity.
|
| For example maybe someone would like to go to an amusement park
| but they'd like to go with up to 3 others. Then other people
| can request to join the activity and write a short
| introduction.
|
| Good luck!
| jazzyjackson wrote:
| Love the idea for one person to propose an activity in hopes
| someone will join them, actually would be just fine for
| platonic or romantic outcomes, but doesn't have to start with
| that expectation. If someone I would never ask on a date
| wants to go play chess in the park with me that's probably
| still going to be a fun afternoon.
|
| Also, I had a better-than-expected experience at the Bikini
| Hostel in Miami Beach. While there were decidedly fewer
| bikini clad women than depicted on their website, it was
| apparent that the patio was used as the neighborhood hangout.
| Table tennis, Picnic tables, and food being cooked on the
| grill every night, cigarettes and alcohol shared freely. It
| didn't matter if you were actually booked into the adjacent
| building. Many of the guys were construction workers from
| Argentina, once a guy mentioned he didn't get paid on time so
| he would sleep on the beach until he could afford a bed
| again, but there was a share of digital nomads too (god, can
| we get a different term?). Really walkable neighborhood too,
| nice spot. Wish they would fix up the kitchen tho.
| wombat-man wrote:
| Sounds cool, I've been thinking of heading somewhere sunny
| soon. Was thinking either Miami or Puerto Rico. I'll check
| it out.
| jazzyjackson wrote:
| The city of Miami itself was dull from the few miles I
| drove through it, searching for "Little Havana" or a
| decent waterfront. Miami Beach is much more of a vacation
| town, endless food and entertainment options, but it's
| expensive, I mean manhattan prices, really.
|
| Puerto Rico is probably just as beatiful and your dollar
| will go farther, it was actually my first choice but a
| little harder to drive to ;)
| wombat-man wrote:
| yeah I'm leaning towards Puerto Rico. I think I'm going
| to like San Juan. That hostel sounds cool, but I also
| kinda like the idea of a resort experience, which is much
| cheaper in PR than in Miami/beach afaik.
| hutzlibu wrote:
| I think it is nice and I hope it stays nice, but I would
| predict, that quality will drop a lot if it goes viral.
|
| I mean, there are pictures and contacts of real women in there.
| That approach works bad with certain parts of the internet. But
| this part is usually not leaving their basement and goes
| travelling, so I hope it catches on with the right people and
| stay nice at least for a while.
| toyg wrote:
| _> But this part is usually not leaving their basement_
|
| Unless you find a way to validate that one really is
| travelling, that's a red herring. The issue is that I can see
| Female X is in London and I can pose as a traveller to
| catfish her (or worse).
|
| Which is annoying, because the idea is good. I guess this is
| why we can't have nice things.
| imwillofficial wrote:
| Why are catfishing targets only limited to women in your
| examples?
| toyg wrote:
| I really didn't, it was just an example, but it's a fact
| that, on this sort of platform, women tend to get
| prompted/harassed more.
| h0l0cube wrote:
| > that quality will drop a lot if it goes viral
|
| One thing I liked about Couchsurfing that I think could have
| potential is the concept of vouches. You can only vouch for
| someone once you've received enough vouches. That along with
| with references provided a good way to quickly gauge the
| character and trustworthiness of a person. To gain vouches
| and references you had to have invested in the community. Not
| perfect, but often good enough. Couchsurfing also had
| volunteer community safety ambassadors, but I think less
| people seem motivated to do that kind of thing these days. I
| think a lot of the oldschool Couchsurfing moved to BeWelcome
| and Trustroots
| danieltait wrote:
| Thanks I like these ideas
| drorco wrote:
| Looks like a great tool for finding hiking partners if you're
| able to build a large enough network. I'd probably not use it
| because I'd feel too many things could go wrong with strangers
| who are not committed to me like a tour guide. I've also never
| gone through the stage of hiking abroad with strangers in your
| early 20s so, I'm thinking I'm probably far from your target
| audience.
|
| When my partner and I are traveling abroad, we love signing up
| to AirBnB experiences as it lets us to socialize with either
| great guides or other tourists, and not just be on our own all
| the time. The fact that we pay for it and each guide has
| reviews, gives us a peace of mind that the trip is almost
| guaranteed to be a success.
|
| @elbajo posted an interesting comment about harassers looking
| for hookups in couch surfing platforms. I guess this is
| something that could happen more often if there's no payment
| involved for participants (unlike AirBnB experiences which is
| paid). I'm curious to know if you have any ideas on how to
| prevent that if the system remains free?
| yholio wrote:
| It's a nice MVP but be prepared for massive troubles if it ever
| gets traction. The trouble with such sites is getting a revenue
| stream fast enough to fund moderation before abuse kills the
| viable idea.
|
| But overall, if you can get network effects going, a real gem.
| theklr wrote:
| love the idea, would love for other chat alternatives as well,
| telegram or signal fields would also be great. As well as
| mentioned possibly some iconography for the type of friendship
| you're looking for/ providing. As someone else mentioned,
| someone's cheekiness in their bio can be misinterpreted as
| coming on.
| dorianmariefr wrote:
| why not stay in hostels and work in coworking spaces?
| yosito wrote:
| Nice project. As a nomad and app developer, I've thought of
| creating this many times myself, and have many friends who have
| tried to build something similar. I think the main problem
| you're going to run into is network effects and getting people
| to use it. As it stands, I can find out where more of my
| friends are with Facebook's Nearby friends feature, and I can
| find more new people to meet up with using Couchsurfing. Until
| you've got a significant network, I wouldn't find it worth my
| time to download yet another app where I have to manually
| update my information. Do you have a plan or strategy to
| overcome this challenge?
| 0xbadcafebee wrote:
| I'm a long time (10+yrs) Couchsurfing.org member and organizer,
| and tried out the alternatives (BeWelcome, etc). Here's what
| I've learned about organizing in these communities:
|
| 1. You need a strong community.
|
| It is absolutely essential that your membership is responsible
| for building a culture and reinforcing it. They need to set the
| standard for your site, and have the tools to keep it going.
| The community will create and organize events, get to know each
| other, police its members, form bonds, and welcome newcomers.
| This isn't easy, but not _that_ hard either. The way it worked
| on Couchsurfing originally was forums and regular local get-
| togethers. Nothing fancy, just a regular old forum. But the
| functionality of the forum is necessary for the members to
| maintain the community. Having general discussions, pinning
| topics, 'leaders' of a particular regional community, sorting,
| advanced search, sub-forum hierarchy. Though unfortunately as
| with any forum, you'll also have to deal with spam.
|
| 2. If your website's features are shallow, so is your
| membership.
|
| Couchsurfing went downhill once their forums went away, but it
| plummeted into hook-up culture once they added a feature to
| "find someone near you right now". It just turned into 50 dudes
| globbing onto the only chick in the area and mini groups
| forming around someone who's attractive. The profiles and
| hosting also turned into dudes only hosting chicks and vice
| versa. The loss of the community destroyed the entire point of
| the site, which was to meet travelers. If that's what you want
| then just have the "connect people nearby" feature, and people
| will just try to meet the hottest, coolest people they can.
| There's a market for that, but it's not the same as "meeting
| other travelers". The lack of community engagement also means
| people won't stay on your site for long, and it's the long-term
| membership that makes your site a reliable tool to use.
|
| 3. Enable the _travel_ aspect.
|
| Focus on the places, sights, food, music, culture, of each
| place. One of the most popular uses of Couchsurfing was just to
| ask locals "What's a good place to eat?" or "In what
| neighborhood should I stay?"
|
| 4. Use your website to shape the culture.
|
| Provide a guide and examples for writing profiles. Add flair
| for common things people like, like a bowl of ramen, pair of
| skis, hiking boots, chess board, guitar. Let people personalize
| their pages with custom CSS/HTML/images - it allows people to
| express their individuality, which is a part of how people
| choose who they want to hang with. Suggest local get-togethers
| (pot-lucks, grabbing beers and hanging in the city square, easy
| hiking trails, city day tours, etc).
|
| 5. Enable the users to add value.
|
| Allow them to add things like local attractions, events. This
| is another part of the core of your website ("finding local
| travelers") because people want to both know what to do
| locally, as well as find people to do it with. Make this super
| convenient and people will use it, and it will connect people.
|
| 6. Take safety reports and treat them seriously.
|
| If people meet through your site, there's the risk of abuse
| (trust me, it happens). If you're a man running this site, you
| probably do not understand how at-risk women are when meeting a
| stranger, and how important safety is at keeping women on the
| site (let's face it, people will only use your site if there is
| a healthy mix of gender and sexuality, just like the real
| world). Community policing takes a lot of this burden off of
| you, but you still need to take reports and seriously
| investigate them, and ban people who cause trouble. Harm of an
| individual harms the community, which harms your site. I'm sure
| this will be somewhat "controversial", but it's important if
| you want people to trust your site.
|
| All of that is a crap-ton of work. It may not be worth it for
| you to sink that much time and effort into your site. Without a
| community and the tools to develop it, I think your site may
| become a hook-up site like others before. Trust and community
| doesn't come easy, but when it works, it's beautiful. Good luck
| to you, dude!
| caminante wrote:
| Good write-up and constructive feedback.
|
| The problem is that all of these other core items have been
| competed away by other sites. I think CouchSurfing did well
| because there wasn't a reddit, tripadvisor, airbnb, ...
| established, yet, when CouchSurfing was founded in 2003. They
| had an early-mover advantage, tapping into a sizeable
| population of like-minded people.
|
| Does CouchSurfing have any remaining competitive advantages?
| 0xbadcafebee wrote:
| I think the primary competitive advantage is in the
| confluence of features. There may be other sites dedicated
| to one thing or another, but by combining all those
| features in a way that is super convenient for a single
| purpose (planning where to go + what to do + people to do
| it with) you get enhanced value.
|
| One example is Docker. All the features of Docker already
| existed in different tools. But Docker combined everything
| into one tool, making it easy to solve many different
| problems with one solution. The only "competitor" to Docker
| now are the other tools imitating Docker. (Has anyone even
| tried to use LXC or OpenVZ since Docker arrived?)
|
| Another is Facebook. All of Facebook's individual features
| exist in other sites. But they combined all those different
| things into one platform, so people naturally went "Why
| would I use 10 different sites when I can just use one?"
| Once Couchsurfing's forums went south, people found
| Facebook much easier for group and event organization, so
| all the local Couchsurfing communities fled to Facebook
| regional groups (..... and made them private and locals-
| only, excluding all the travelers). Even with a first-mover
| advantage, Couchsurfing lost their user base and engagement
| when they chased away the community (as they were chasing
| investors, revenue, and irrelevant design trends).
|
| The one feature Couchsurfing has that nobody else has is
| references. My profile has like 70 positive references from
| hosting travelers over many years, people of all ages and
| genders, with zero negative references. But some people
| have references from only one gender, and some people have
| negative references. This gives people a much better idea
| if a stranger is worth hanging out with; their profile may
| look bland, but a bunch of glowing reviews makes you think,
| they might be fun, let's give 'em a chance. This is
| distinct from a "friends list" with no reviews or context;
| they might have 1000 friends, but only 5 reviews.
| References also help reinforce good culture, as people know
| if they act like a dick they will get negative references.
| caminante wrote:
| _> "Why would I use 10 different sites when I can just
| use one?"_
|
| IMHO, Docker and Facebook still did core/pure products
| that (i) were the category best, and (ii) anchored
| everything else.
|
| It sounds like CouchSurfing lost its way circa 2013 by
| nuking community content. [0]
|
| _> The one feature Couchsurfing has that nobody else has
| is references._
|
| Agree. That's the secret sauce to any platform. With
| things where they're at now with AirBNB, hostel sites,
| and locations that will actually underwrite awful
| experiences for guests/hosts, I naively assume
| CouchSurfing is a shadow of its former self. Allegedly,
| CouchSurfing started adding fees in with covid19,
| including paid verification.
|
| [0]https://brenontheroad.com/the-end-of-couchsurfing/
| atak1 wrote:
| Love it! Like Couchsurfing back in the 2010's where you offer
| to meet up. It all depends on the community. I'd love to meet
| more HackerNews folks in person, for example.
| netcan wrote:
| Nice start.
|
| Perhaps try to get it going for one or few places/activities.
| There's a chicken-eggness to an everywhere and everyone design.
|
| adh mor
| Tepix wrote:
| Looks great, i hope it catches on!
| danieltait wrote:
| Thanks!
| pmontra wrote:
| It could be useful for the same person to register in many
| different places, to check if somebody is interested in
| visiting that part of the world together in future. Example,
| I'd like to cross the Simpson Desert by 4WD but unsurprisingly
| I can't find anybody willing to come with me (let's pretend the
| pandemic is over.) I don't live in Australia. Maybe a site like
| this one could let me find people from other parts of the world
| (or from Australia) willing to do the same journey. Times by
| other crazy ideas and maybe one of them could come true.
| danieltait wrote:
| Interesting idea. There is a site callled
| https://www.joinmytrip.com/en/ for this purpose which I quite
| like. Check it out
| fersarr wrote:
| It feels really powerful that you can directly message some of
| the people via whatsapp/other apps! I hope it doesnt get
| exploited...
| josefrichter wrote:
| I guess most people have trouble meeting locals, it's not so
| difficult to meet fellow travellers. For meeting locals it's good
| to attend local meetups. For meeting travellers, you can just go
| to any coworking center.
| MimiKG wrote:
| Where is a co-working center in Irvine, CA?
| giantg2 wrote:
| Yeah... I think this could be end up being easily misused and
| abused.
| tristor wrote:
| As someone who has extensively traveled both in groups and solo,
| this looks like a hookup app. This is not something I would have
| used back when I was traveling. What I'm most interested in
| seeing while I'm traveling is a way to organize things with
| people who I may not see the next day to help do things like get
| commitments on time/place, shared costs, etc. Right now it's a
| spreadsheet, apps like Venmo, and luck if you want to plan
| something out with someone else who's also a traveler. Folks who
| live a nomadic lifestyle tend to be rather mercurial, so I know
| it's a tall order to expect technology to address the social
| issue of people flaking or not following through, but that's the
| biggest challenge of group activities with other travelers in my
| experience.
|
| As for meeting individuals, I don't see the point of trying to
| specifically meet other travelers unless it's for hookups, and if
| that's your thing you can just stay at a hostel and hookup with
| random people, that's essentially what hostels are for. The only
| way this type of app makes sense other than hookups is if it's
| intended for groups to meet other groups and plan shared
| activities.
| intrasight wrote:
| I think it is in fact a hookup app
| journeynepaladv wrote:
| crhutchins wrote:
| It would be great to improve the website more, as the buttons and
| text fields are a bit out of place.
| jb1991 wrote:
| If I understand correctly, all messages you send to another
| member are actually read and approved by the app's creator, which
| sounds very strange.
| rscnt wrote:
| this looks dangerous.
| sgt wrote:
| Because everyone will go to Bulgaria?
| danieltait wrote:
| Great to see some randoms have posted! Thanks everyone. A few
| more posts and you'll get to see if my dodgy pagination works lol
| karthikkolli wrote:
| Used to use nomadlist for this. Probably share it on their
| slack[1] to see it helps them.
|
| [1] https://nomadlist.com/chat
| gdsdfe wrote:
| as with any app where you get to meet new people, how do I make
| sure I'm not meeting a serial killer? at least locally in my city
| I have some sort sense of which neighborhood is safe, etc. but in
| a completely new place ??
| NKosmatos wrote:
| Nice idea, nice execution but I can see it going downhill. I
| sympathize with the idea/intention but it feels like a dating
| site. On top of that there are some privacy concerns. Kudos for
| the clean design, speed and ease of use of the page.
| deepstack wrote:
| Just like couch surfing, anything like this will become a
| dating site. Usually people who knows how to travel don't need
| sites like this, and they can meet interesting people where
| ever they go. Instead sites like this it would be better to
| find a seasoned traveler and learn from him/her.
| alkonaut wrote:
| Love the idea. I also think the manual approval is a key factor
| here. I wouldn't expect this to work without it (sadly). But with
| some delegation it could hopefully scale even though it has a
| manual element.
|
| Social networks full of bots and trolls are 13 to the dozen, but
| there is a real chance to make something really useful if it's
| based on manual vetting.
| jmacd wrote:
| There was an app in 2007 called Dopplr. [1]
|
| It was part of the wave of new social networks that were to (and
| did) change how we use software. It was actually really useful
| and I met many people through it that I never would have
| otherwise. I count many of them as friends to this day.
|
| "meeting random people and being curious about them and become
| friends" is a bit of a superpower in your 20s IMO. It's something
| I, usually by choice of venue (sleep early, eat properly, etc),
| don't do any more.
|
| It happens a bit with friends-of-your-kids when you get to that
| stage of life, but the factors of who they are become much more
| constrained to certain things like schools, neighbourhoods,
| programs, etc.
|
| 1: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dopplr
| nvilcins wrote:
| Props for YYYY-MM-DD
| taneq wrote:
| Should be yyyy-MM-dd :P
| [deleted]
| tarkin2 wrote:
| The 3d rotation on the map is really unsettling. Surely you'd
| only need to span and scale it?
| crawl_soever wrote:
| Great concept. A few pointers:
|
| - The map select seems to spazz out when I pan and zoom, often
| panning far greater distances than I intended.
|
| - Maybe support something like Gravatar for profile images so you
| don't have to upload if you don't want to.
|
| - I am impressed that I can mostly use this with NoScript
| enabled! I don't just get a white screen whin I disable JS. I
| always give sites a +1 if they can support some sort of non-JS
| fallback. More sites need to do this instead of the blank page
| dark pattern
| ruph123 wrote:
| Interesting behaviour when you right-click and drag the map
| around, neat!
| corwinstephen wrote:
| It seems like some people on here are into the idea and would use
| it. That's cool, but for me personally, I'm amazed that anyone is
| still into this kind of thing in 2022.
| mnd999 wrote:
| WAYN (Where Are You Now) had the same idea. They eventually got
| bought out by lastminute.com and shut down.
| [deleted]
| pelagicAustral wrote:
| `overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y:auto;` suits better on those
| description boxes.
| personjerry wrote:
| FYI after some nomading I have learned that after Meetup, the
| Couchsurfing app is the second best way to meet people.
| randomopining wrote:
| Is couchsurfing still good? I thought it died hard once they
| made it pay to use. But I still get a good amount of couch
| requests from younger people, so maybe it came back en vogue.
|
| I did it in 2014-2018 and it was awesome. I heard pre-2010 was
| even better.
| hutzlibu wrote:
| The best way would be directly meeting them in real life?
|
| How outfashioned.
| camc0m wrote:
| Have you found a good way to see good places to work in various
| cities?
| alhirzel wrote:
| Long time couchsurfer here; I am sad that it is withering as a
| community, but it is still full of very good people.
| _august wrote:
| I switched to https://couchers.org/, they are just starting
| out but already have many members who switched from CS after
| they started asking for a monthly subscription.
| pydry wrote:
| It would be better if this was less of a "dating" site and was
| set up as a way for _groups_ of people to find additional people
| or groups to link up with for specific activities.
|
| The annoying part of, say, organizing a hike or boat trip and the
| part that an app would help the most is not necessarily _finding_
| people but reaching out and getting the various kinds of
| commitment from people you barely know when you want to share
| costs, share cars, sharing taxis, a boat trip, a guide, etc.
|
| Meeting people is way more fun organically and and I would tend
| to avoid apps for that (or use tinder, i guess, but ick) but if
| there are 8 of us who want to share $320 for a one day boat trip
| and somebody you just met drops out the day before... that's
| where IMHO the pain and profit potential lies. An app that takes
| deposits, sets deadlines for commitments, finds replacement
| people, etc. that I could share with somebody I'd met organically
| that helps deal with people's inherent flakiness OR finds
| replacement people - I'd use the _hell_ out of that.
|
| And, you'd have taxi drivers, boat trip organizers, hiking
| guides, etc. clamoring to join too once it reached critical mass
| coz the economics of their services often _only_ work if they 've
| got groups of tourists of a certain size.
|
| Unfortunately in its current form this basically looks like a
| tinder equivalent with "just looking for a travel partner"
| written as your description with zero chance of reaching critical
| mass.
| globular-toast wrote:
| > It would be better if this was less of a "dating" site
|
| I think that's the point. "Travelling" (and others like
| "finding yourself" etc.) is essentially synonymous with no
| strings attached sex.
| MimiKG wrote:
| Lightbulb: an app to help travelers stuck at the airport meet
| each other so they can share the cost of a rental car when
| their flight gets cancelled. (I've shared a cab with a fellow
| traveller so we could catch a train when our flight got
| diverted.)
| odiroot wrote:
| A word of advice: I'd eliminate photo avatars to reduce the creep
| factor. Go for symbolic ones or something like Apple's custom
| emojis.
| gigatexal wrote:
| Well this is an interesting twist on modern dating/hookup apps.
| Using the guise of travel friends is hilariously smart.
| marcus_holmes wrote:
| Much as I hate to affirm this much cynicism, the stories I hear
| from people using similar apps (and couchsurfers recently) show
| this is probably going to be the case. Too many douchebags out
| there.
| ngokevin wrote:
| Even language exchange apps are dating apps.
| thih9 wrote:
| Why do you assume this project is about dating/hookups?
| gigatexal wrote:
| Because people are going to people?
| thih9 wrote:
| The people who think like this should be banned then,
| shouldn't they?
| gigatexal wrote:
| Banned from what? The service? And how would you know
| before hand? Only after such a rep was earned could such
| action be taken
| thih9 wrote:
| Yes to both; or it could be addressed in a different way
| too; that's another topic though.
| [deleted]
| jcmontx wrote:
| People might downvote, but anyone with enough travel experience
| knows how this works
| randomopining wrote:
| 100%. And it's actually just like you're making cool new
| foreign female friends while traveling.
| [deleted]
| taneq wrote:
| Maybe we're both just too cynical because my first thought was
| "meet up with strangers in an unfamiliar location, sounds like
| great fun for anyone tired of having both kidneys."
| MimiKG wrote:
| Back out a step. What about meeting locally with people who
| have similar travel schedules and interests? (Sounds like
| another site mentioned here.) Or meeting people already en
| route ? Back when airplanes had lounge space, my mom would
| ask the captain to page a call for anyone interested in
| playing bridge.
| azarovalex wrote:
| Did you hide the Mapbox attribution in the corner of the map on
| purpose? Most likely it's a violation of the User Agreement.
| danieltait wrote:
| Thanks for the flag, fixed now
| elbajo wrote:
| Love the idea! I've been using Couchsurfing for many years and
| tried their "hangout" feature a few times. It's 95% males
| harassing traveling women that happen to log in but the 5% left
| can be great to meet and I've had great experiences. Hopefully
| you find a way to navigate away from that even as you get more
| users.
| danieltait wrote:
| Thanks!
|
| I've also used Couchsurfing for many years and had great
| experiences! Sadly it got paywalled during the pandemic to stay
| alive and the usage has plummeted. I also always thought it
| could be have been done better.
|
| The harassment messages will be a challenge. I've just added a
| step now that first messages will be reviewed and approved by a
| moderator, but would have to come up with something more
| scalable long term.
| hutzlibu wrote:
| "95% males harassing traveling women that happen to log in but
| the 5% left can be great to meet"
|
| That sounds like a general description of way too many internet
| communities, too.
| alisonatwork wrote:
| Basically, this. For some reason any kind of "meetup" site
| always seems to end up having this undercurrent of being a
| crypto dating site. I wish there were sites where people
| could sign up for hanging out that were 100% guaranteed
| platonic. It's so exhausting to have to try filter out that
| weird dating/sex dynamic apparently shoehorned into
| everything outside of work.
| jcims wrote:
| This seems to be nearly insurmountable if the primary
| objective of the site is only to meet people, particularly
| young single people that have no local social group or
| attachment.
|
| One minor pivot that OP might consider is make the site
| about finding ways for travelers to integrate with the
| local community. Volunteering opportunities would be the
| primary idea that comes to mind, but if there's any
| mechanism to integrate with meetup that might be useful as
| well. Basically tie in systems that have already developed
| a survival mechanism to filter out creeps.
| shmel wrote:
| I suppose it is a completely predictable outcome: internet
| has been telling young men for years "stop looking for a
| gf, just get out there, find a hobby, meet up new people".
|
| Besides, "finding a partner" is a much more common and
| pressing goal than "finding strangers who also like that
| niche thing I do".
| RealityVoid wrote:
| I think that's impossible. The crypto dating undercurrent
| is basically life. Even at work, depending on the age of
| those around you, it's still there. Of course, the older
| people are, they have better odds of having families so the
| feeling fades, but I think it never truly goes away.
|
| Anyways, I love the initiative and would love to see it
| catch on, I love communities like this, but, to be honest,
| as much as I like looking at them from a distance and
| admire them, I'd probably be too busy to properly
| participate in them.
| hutzlibu wrote:
| That people are also having sexual desires is normal and
| allright with me.
|
| But when it becomes the dominant topic everywhere, it is
| a problem.
|
| Solution is hard of course, with so many singles out
| there. But I was also single for a long time and as far
| as I know, I did not harass any women in that time. So it
| might partly also still be macho thinking, that women are
| there mainly for sex. It might be even only a small
| minority doing it, but some aggressive machos can be
| enough, to destroy a whole community, or make it mostly
| male. So moderation will be key. "Report user" Etc.
| hutzlibu wrote:
| Lately there was some confusion in a (telegram) group about
| Saunas I am in. Because some newcomers assumed it was
| actually about swinger sex and not wellness. (despite
| nothing indicating such)
|
| I mean, we are not living under Taliban rule. You can go to
| a million sex finder sites if that is what you want. No
| need to encrypt your desires and bother other people who
| are in some group for the plainly stated topic.
| sokoloff wrote:
| I played recreational level volleyball and softball for
| around two decades. More than half the people I dated, I
| met through those channels (including my wife). I
| continued to play whether or not I was single and after
| we married.
|
| Was I encrypting my desires and bothering other people? I
| don't think so. It turns out humans will, from time to
| time, hook up with other humans who they meet doing
| random things, even if those things aren't swiping right
| on an app.
| hutzlibu wrote:
| Sure, people are having sexual desires and dating is
| allright with me, but you were still mainly playing ball
| there, right?
|
| Like I just wanted mostly to relax in a new awesome
| wellness place, I have not been before.
|
| But sure, saunas are intense and you see other people
| without masks, which increase the chance of direct
| contact.
|
| So if I meet someone nice there and this person is also
| interested, then sure, things can go another way for us,
| but not in this particiular place as other people are
| there for sauna and not an orgy.
|
| Most, especially young women, cannot relax very well,
| with sexual tensions in the room directed at them, so the
| sauna culture is very sensitive to keep all that out as
| much as possible. You are just naked among other people.
| And relax. You may admire the looks of other bodies, but
| you are really not supoosed to stare at them, or bother
| them in any way. But in most public saunas it is sadly
| mainly horny old people keeping the women out. (which is
| why I am a bit mad at horny people creeping into private
| wellness groups looking for swinger sex)
| caminante wrote:
| _> Was I encrypting my desires and bothering other
| people? I don't think so._
|
| I can't recommend affinity groups (especially co-ed
| sports) enough for ways to be social, exercise, and
| explore romantic matches (for cheap!) It bakes in
| compatibility/values traits.
|
| But saunas...?
|
| For saunas, one of many obvious differences (with
| volleyball/softball) is that I can't expect someone to
| engage in conversation. For sports, I need to communicate
| and coordinate. Parent is referring to people lustfully
| conflating brothel/bathhouse facilities with a family
| YMCA.
|
| In Germany, sauna clubs are unapologetically marketed as
| brothels.
| hutzlibu wrote:
| "In Germany, sauna clubs are unapologetically marketed as
| brothels."
|
| I am not sure, if I understand that right, but here in
| east germany a sauna is about sauna. And fkk is
| fkk(nudism). And sex is about sex. And surely people are
| combining it, but I have not heard of a gay "sauna club".
| That is, I do not know any sauna club at all. I am just
| in a telegram group, where a privately owned wellness
| place announces the next days when they are open for
| people (limited). And general talk around sauna/wellness.
| Nicer atmosphere, than in the big puplic ones, when you
| do not own your own sauna, which I would usually prefer.
| caminante wrote:
| Maybe the keywords matter? Googling "germany sauna club"
| gets explicit results.
|
| _> I am just in a telegram group, where a privately
| owned wellness place announces the next days when they
| are open for people (limited)._
|
| In the US, the equivalent are "country clubs."
| toyg wrote:
| That's just world-shrinking culture shock. In some
| countries, only (gay) swingers go to saunas; in that
| context, it makes sense that they could see an ostensibly
| sauna-focused group as really about sex.
|
| See also: "oriental massage parlours".
| hutzlibu wrote:
| I know that. It still anoys me, as all of this is pretty
| much out in the open here in germany. Which one would
| know with 5 minutes of searching.
| yholio wrote:
| Such sites cannot exist at this time, basic anthropology at
| work. They would require revolutionary new gender dynamics.
| jcims wrote:
| The gender dynamics would likely have to separate sex
| drive from reproduction sufficiently that libido is
| maladaptive and ultimately eliminated from our biology.
| tarkin2 wrote:
| I liked Cousurfing, and paid them money for the service, but
| then they locked me out asking for a subscription. I'd happily
| use another application now, especially since their application
| was rather buggy and servers slow.
| Stevvo wrote:
| I've found it to work great in cities that have reached a
| critical mass of users, e.g. in Taipei & Kuala Lumpur I often
| found diverse gender balanced groups meeting. In smaller cities
| it was 95% dudes looking for a hookup.
| Mikeb85 wrote:
| Not going to lie, when I travel I specifically try to stay away
| from other travelers and meet locals.
|
| It's fun to hang out and party with other travelers, but you
| don't really learn anything about the country when you do that.
| The country you're traveling in gets reduced to an amusement park
| for you and your fellow travelers. Meeting locals and getting a
| feel for life in the country is IMO slightly deeper.
|
| That being said, obviously the amusement park model of travel is
| a thing, hence guided tours, all-inclusives, parties catering to
| travelers, etc... Also this app low-key feels like a hookup site.
| dougmwne wrote:
| This sounds like a bit of a travel novel fantasy to me. Always
| the same obsession with meeting the "real" people of the place
| and making an "authentic " connection. Fact is, most people
| have no interest in hanging with or babysitting a tourist for
| free. They have their own lives, routines, friends and hobbies
| to focus on. They have no need for your naive perspective on
| their hometown. They have no interest in being a prop for your
| instagram or character in your stories. Other travelers are the
| perfect people to connect with. They are sharing your same
| moment and need to experience or consume a place. You have a
| shared interest in travel and specifically travel to this
| place. They are much more likely to be open to a new an
| temporary connection to spend the day with and will be open to
| trading the information that tourists need to navigate and
| experience a place.
| Mikeb85 wrote:
| Different strokes I guess... I typically go places for 1-3
| months at a time. And work as well. So, if I go to a bar in a
| foreign country and talk to people, it's the same as going to
| a bar and talking to people in my hometown. Not being a
| tourist that needs babysitting. Besides, you can usually
| knock off all the touristy "must do's" in a day or two
| anyway.
| tristor wrote:
| My experience matches yours pretty strongly. I've never
| really had an issue meeting individuals while traveling
| solo, it's more about when I'm in a group meeting other
| groups to temporarily add new faces to the mix. I also
| generally prefer to stay in some place at /least/ one
| month, and just live a "normal" life in a different
| location and meet some locals along the way.
| dougmwne wrote:
| Being there for a few months is a different animal. After a
| few weeks, you pretty much live there and are somewhat of a
| local yourself. You are no longer a tourist trying to
| collect an experience, just a person who happens to connect
| with another person. I was in Vienna recently for a month.
| We went to a couple of shared interest meetups with a mix
| of expats and Austrians. It didn't really matter where
| folks were from or exactly hown long they'd been living in
| Vienna, we had come to connect on the common interest, not
| that we had a made friends with a "real Austrian".
| hiptobecubic wrote:
| Couchsurfing has been a thing for decades, so I don't know
| where you're coming from. Sure most people don't want to meet
| new people and hang out, but most people are happy sitting at
| home watching cable TV and eating delivery pizza every other
| night too. Who cares about them?
| deltaonefour wrote:
| There's a bit of arrogance in the post you replied to. He
| stays away from tourists yet he's a tourist himself.
|
| It's like a nerd staying away from other nerds because he's
| "better."
| zerkten wrote:
| I don't think that's it at all, as long as it's not going
| to absolute extremes. Let's say you are part of a tour,
| then you are cooped up with people the whole time. You are
| going to be experiencing all of the same things that others
| are for the whole trip. In many ways, I think the original
| post is about enabling this in other ways.
|
| Any reasonable tour is going to make a very obvious effort
| to make it not feel this way be allowing you the
| flexibility to break off and see and do different things.
| This enriches the experience for both you and other
| participants because the different experiences are
| discussed and others go off and try the things that you've
| done. It is a major driver for the whole tour economy. If
| it was purely utilitarian then the tour company would
| package every piece of the experience.
|
| When it comes to travel more generally, many people are
| extremely confined by touring. They want to have a
| completely individualized experience that takes them
| further away from seeing other tourists to varying degrees.
| If you are a reasonably well-to-do Brit, you will be
| keeping a wide berth from the other Brits that are at your
| destination from a package holiday because of the risk of
| loutish behavior, or bias on that.
|
| Many tourists will plan to visit sites when other tourists
| will not be present. For example, staying locally near
| Plitvice Lakes in Croatia, so that you can get in before
| the tours arrive from the coastal towns. It's not that you
| care about the tourists that much as individuals, it's just
| that you would prefer to experience the place without the
| intensity of people. Or, you want to photos without people
| because you realize you'll actually spend more time
| blocking space waiting for a shot. Many times I've been
| that tourists that gets there early to avoid the tourists,
| only to stay and have an even better time.
|
| The extremes are when people think they can assimilate into
| a culture immediately without effort. The growth in travel
| and Instagram trend has seen a rise in the number of
| checklist travelers who just drop in. People will go as far
| as inviting you into their homes in many places, but you
| need to make a genuine connection. During Ramadan in
| Istanbul I've seen tourists eating all day in pretty
| conspicuous fashion which they are free to do. By being
| more conscious of the fasting going on and being out and
| about for iftar you are going to be seen in different light
| by locals and the door will open to experiences you
| wouldn't otherwise get.
| dougmwne wrote:
| Arrogant and objectifying. Forcing their preconceptions of
| what a "local" would offer them onto other people who are
| just people.
| cjaybo wrote:
| Only if you insist on the most cynical and uncharitable
| reading of their comment possible. But that does seem to
| be the case, unfortunately!
|
| I don't think it's controversial for someone to say:
| "When I travel, I'd rather have the company of people who
| live in the place I'm visiting, instead of other
| travelers". I struggle to see how the original comment
| conveyed much more than that.
| mtnGoat wrote:
| If you are trying to get a local that you are making friends
| with, to be a prop in your stories for social media... you
| missed the point.
|
| You should be trying to focus on learning about the culture
| and the places and people, not some followers you'll never
| meet and making sure to get ig photos the whole day. That's
| not connecting, it usery, to grow your internet fame. No
| surprise you can't find willing participants.
|
| Are you projecting? Maybe you haven't met locals that wanted
| to take you around because that is the way you are treating
| them? I lived abroad for over a decade and I never had
| problems meeting locals or making friends with them.
| Generally I tried to avoid the selfie taking crowd of loud
| American tourists and brash military guys out on leave, like
| the other locals did.
| dougmwne wrote:
| And since you are living abroad, do you have a habit of
| meeting tourists just there for a holiday, ditching your
| plans for the day and giving them an impromptu city tour
| out of an upwelling of civic pride?
| khazhoux wrote:
| Ooh, startup idea: "Rent-A-Local" (needs better name)
|
| It's a gig-economy thing where locals get paid to hang around
| and talk to you at popular tourist sites. For example, four
| older gentlemen playing dominoes at a small table in
| Santorini, and they let you join in on the game and converse
| in broken english. Or an older woman working at a pastry shop
| in Florence, and she invites her beautiful 19-year-old
| granddaughter Francesca to translate your questions. All of
| them: rented locals.
| hiptobecubic wrote:
| Doesn't Airbnb do this now?
| cultofmetatron wrote:
| that exists https://www.savvyamigo.com/
| cultofmetatron wrote:
| > This sounds like a bit of a travel novel fantasy to me.
|
| what are you talking about? I've been a digital nomad for a
| few years and locals LOVE meeting travelers. I get invited to
| parties and events more often in foreign countries than when
| I'm in my hone town. They themselves want to meet new people
| or practice their english skills.
| koonsolo wrote:
| Sorry, but that is not my experience at all.
|
| There are a lot of people who are proud of where they live,
| and want to help you out in finding the best (non-touristic)
| spots.
| spookthesunset wrote:
| > and want to help you out in finding the best (non-
| touristic) spots.
|
| Not attacking you but what does "non-touristic" even mean
| though? If you wanna not be a tourist and "live like the
| locals" get a job and an apartment there and stay a while.
| If you are only there for a week you'll always be a tourist
| living like a tourist--you are a transient visitor and
| nothing more.
|
| In my book, to not be a tourist and "live like a local"
| you'll need to immerse yourself in all the mundane, routine
| things people in that area do like: - Get a
| drivers license & register your car (if you have one)
| - Get a haircut - Go to the doctors office and the
| dentist - Purchase a new pair of shoes - Take
| your pet to the dentist - Have a meaningful opinion
| on some local political issue (I'd say vote, but that isn't
| always possible without actually being a citizen) -
| Go grocery shopping and purchase household sundries like
| toilet paper, paper towels, cleaning spray, brooms, etc.
| - Get mail and packages delivered to your residence -
| Speak to people in the native language. Be able to read it
| too.
|
| I dunno. I've traveled more than the average person and I
| kinda think trying to "experience things like a local" just
| isn't possible or even desirable. You are a visitor.
| Embrace it. Only by moving there and living the mundane
| parts of life can you truly "live like a local".
|
| That being said, I do understand the desire to escape the
| "tourist traps" and go somewhere that isn't just trinket
| shops and tacky shirts. I don't know if you need to know
| locals to find that stuff, I think you need to have an
| understanding of the kinds of things you like to see.
| bnralt wrote:
| I agree. I'll add that I've known plenty of people who
| have done all the things you listed, and still aren't
| seen as a local, and are treated as more of a prop. This
| isn't just true of Americans going to other countries,
| but of people from other countries coming to America as
| well.
| koonsolo wrote:
| Non-touristic doesn't mean you have to live like a local.
|
| Let me give you an example. When we were traveling in
| Cuba, we met a fellow Flemisch guy, who seemed to know a
| lot of locals. We started talking. He was there visiting
| his ex-wifes Cuban family. He and his ex-brother in law
| invited us for dinner at their house in Santiago de Cuba.
| One of the best experiences I had, and I don't consider
| such a thing "touristic". You're not talking to a tour
| guide there.
|
| A lot of times, the locals are very happy to interact
| with you. And coming from a western country, it always
| surprised me how welcoming other, poorer countries are.
| zerkten wrote:
| To me it means "being a better visitor" and "providing a
| better visit". The idea of living like a local is very
| extreme and not what I think the person that you replied
| to was really suggesting. The use of the term "non-
| touristic" is pretty common amongst non-native speakers,
| but it means a lot of different things.
|
| I would only include a few of your bullets, begrudgingly,
| as things that I'd put in the "non-touristic" box. For
| example, someone if someone is trying to select a
| restaurant, then highlighting the more authentic options
| which resonate are something that I've had locals do on
| virtually every trip. Local people to me sometimes
| includes other business owners or tour guides I've
| encountered on the trip. I've normally done some research
| to find the the better spots, but a local person may know
| which one offers a particular delicacy that is prepared
| in a traditional way. They may even just know which one
| doesn't really require reservations.
|
| As an example, I was in Kyoto in 2019 with my wife. For
| various reasons we got to our ryokan (guesthouse) later
| than expected. We were on the fence about planning a
| fancy Kaiseki meal later in the week for my birthday
| because only one of us is an adventurous eater. Our hosts
| asked us about our plans for the week, if we had food,
| etc., and suggested an amazing local place that we would
| never have found on our own. In a way it was intimidating
| given that no one spoke English, but our hosts had really
| greased the wheels with the husband and wife who ran the
| place. This is absolutely not the kind of setup and
| assistance that you get from a concierge in hotels where
| there is a degree of risk avoidance.
|
| The mundane is only something you have time for on an
| extended trip. By the very nature of being long enough on
| a trip that your hair grows out, you'll likely need a
| trim. You may have the choice of somewhere that's easy
| and comfortable for a someone from a different place, or
| you may see that your comfort with the location has
| changed to open different possibilities. Of course, if
| you like to throw yourself into situations you can skip
| the haircut before leaving and try to find something when
| you arrive. Your personality impacts how comfortable you
| feel with that.
| mikepurvis wrote:
| I was in Seoul for a conference a few years ago, and it
| was pretty obvious that there was a "tourist halo" around
| the Conrad and other big western hotels. Once you got
| outside that, you very quickly started to find eateries
| where they don't accept western credit cards, there's no
| English on the menu, and there might not even be a person
| on staff capable of speaking competent English.
|
| But like, the small group I was with ended up at a place
| like this that did Korean BBQ: we showed the proprietor
| the cash we had, and basically they brought out a
| selection of delicious things, took our money, and that
| was that. I guess it's possible we might have been
| disappointed, but it ended up being a great experience,
| and certainly far more true to the experience of a local
| than eating in one of the hotel restaurants.
| hyperhopper wrote:
| Yeah but there is a middle ground. There is the fun local
| bar that's hidden on a back street, not the generic bar
| that most visitors are going to because it's recommended
| by everyone.
|
| There are the beaches that locals party at or are empty,
| not the overcrowded ones that tour busses shuttle people
| to.
|
| You can be a tourist and still get to experience the fun
| parts of life the way locals do, without having to get a
| 9-5 in the town.
| latchkey wrote:
| You're totally right! When I moved from the Bay Area to
| Saigon (first time living outside of the US), all of
| those things really were a fun challenge. The last one
| though is not so easy... Vietnamese is a painful language
| to learn beyond just simple things. Especially if you're
| tone deaf like I am.
| biddit wrote:
| Not sure why you're denying the grandparent poster's reality.
|
| Your response appears to be rooted in a rational conjecture
| of some sort. Do you have direct experience getting to know
| strangers while spending time in a foreign country?
|
| I can speak from experience - there are people, nearly
| everywhere I've ever traveled (swaths of Asia, Europe, and
| South America), who are interested in speaking with me, so
| long as there is a reasonable way for us to communicate. It's
| as easy as expressing interest in their
| culture/town/business/activity and being generally friendly
| and positive.
|
| edit: I should add, when I say "speaking with me," it
| infrequently goes beyond a simple brief conversation. Dozens
| of these interactions have turned into longer engagements,
| from dinner parties at people's homes, to activities like
| fishing, to being shown real locals spots. I have a loose
| network of "friends" all over the world now and have met a
| handful in my own country when they have visited.
| dominotw wrote:
| It all depends on where you go. Sure what you mentioned is
| a possibility if you are at some unknown south american
| destination vs brekenridge over Christmas break. American
| mountain communities for example _HATE_ tourists for making
| everything crowded and unaffordable. It doesn 't matter if
| you are "good tourist".
|
| There are only so many tourist destinations to accommodate
| rising number of tourists every year. Every single place is
| overrun with mobs.
|
| Backpacking to some remote asian town is fantasy not
| achievable to 99% of people with kids, mortgages , pets
| ,aging parents ect.
| dougmwne wrote:
| Sure I do, and it's usually based on a friend of a friend,
| a shared interest or from me being there a longer time. It
| comes through me engaging with them like a regular person,
| not some fetishized "local."
| s1artibartfast wrote:
| This is such a cynical take. Some people travel to meet
| fun, interesting, and different people, while some locals
| are also interested in meeting fun, interesting, and
| different people.
|
| Sure, you wont understand what it is really like to be a
| local resident from a single conversation, or spending a
| day together, but you can connect and learn more than you
| knew before.
|
| You don't have to fetishize locals, to seek out their
| company and perspective over other tourists. Some of my
| fondest travel memories are from being invited into
| peoples homes for meals with their family, talking with
| them, and getting a tiny peak at their experience.
| zerkten wrote:
| I didn't read the post from person you responded to in
| the way that you did. I can agree that Instagram and the
| availability of cheaper travel has had the impact you
| describe. I think my initial language and description
| might have gravitated towards use of the word "local" but
| that's effectively used as shorthand. The assumption of
| most reasonable people is that you need to make
| connections with people.
| 999900000999 wrote:
| I've had the same experience. Both as a tourist and a
| native.
|
| People are beyond friendly to tourists. In my younger days
| some Japanese tourists were so happy to meet me we took
| pictures.
|
| As long as you respect no one owes you anything life is
| great. That said, I vastly prefer real life socialization
| over any app. The website being shown here is a bit counter
| productive. Your in a foreign country, just experience it.
| Don't stair at your phone all day.
| dominotw wrote:
| > In my younger days some Japanese tourists were so happy
| to meet me we took pictures.
|
| I am guessing you are white? I experienced something
| similar when we went to china, all the locals were
| mobbing white people in our group to take pictures with
| them. I am not white and no one bothered me :). Pictures
| with whites is a trophy for chinese locals?
|
| We had some sort of "lunch with locals" where 'locals'
| were toasting to 'the beauty' of white women in our
| group. All non whites were completely ignored by the
| locals. I've never experienced such overt racism/sexism
| anywhere else, Really bizarre experience. screw the
| locals.
| 999900000999 wrote:
| This doesn't align with what my friends have experienced.
| Regardless of skin tone they've been treated much better
| in Asia than in America.
|
| China , even to my friends of color has been amazingly
| great. They tell me you will get stared at, but it's
| nothing compared to the open hostility faced in America
| on a day-to-day basis.
| dominotw wrote:
| >This doesn't align with what my friends have
| experienced.
|
| ok ? But you are white. yea?
|
| What you described in your original comment is a white
| person experience. No asian is rushing to get their
| picture taken with an Indian, lol. I later learned that
| having your picture taken or having a white 'friend' is
| some sort of status symbol.
|
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_monkey
|
| > The phenomenon is based on the perception that
| association with foreigners, specifically white
| foreigners, can signify prestige, legitimacy, and
| international status.
|
| > Regardless of skin tone they've been treated much
| better in Asia than in America.
|
| This might be true but i was talking about overt racism.
| I've never experienced this total shameless overt racism
| outside china. It didn't even occur to 'locals' that
| totasting to white women's beauty had anything wrong with
| it, it just made sense to them that white = pretty.
|
| https://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/28/opinion/rent-a-
| foreigner-...
|
| " Clients can select from a menu of skin colors and
| nationalities; whites are the most desirable and
| expensive."
|
| this shit is disgusting.
|
| watch what the 'locals' think of you here :
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctbLEQCuJUg
| rackjack wrote:
| This is a weird comment but I can't quite put a pin on
| why.
|
| > ok ? But you are white. yea?
|
| > What you described in your original comment is a white
| person experience. No asian is rushing to get their
| picture taken with an Indian, lol. I later learned that
| having your picture taken or having a white 'friend' is
| some sort of status symbol.
|
| > https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_monkey
|
| > > The phenomenon is based on the perception that
| association with foreigners, specifically white
| foreigners, can signify prestige, legitimacy, and
| international status.
|
| > > Regardless of skin tone they've been treated much
| better in Asia than in America.
|
| The second quote is not in the article. But this is:
|
| > White monkey is a term used to refer to the phenomenon
| of white foreigners or immigrants in _China_ ...
|
| Emphasis mine. Setting aside the irony of complaining
| about racism and then failing to distinguish between
| Chinese and Japanese, I don't know why you felt the need
| to diminish the parent's experience in Japan.
|
| The third part:
|
| > https://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/28/opinion/rent-a-
| foreigner-...
|
| > " Clients can select from a menu of skin colors and
| nationalities; whites are the most desirable and
| expensive."
|
| > this shit is disgusting.
|
| > watch what the 'locals' think of you here :
| https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctbLEQCuJUg
|
| Ok, people prefer white skin in China. They also prefer
| it in India. It's pretty common in countries with a
| colonial "heritage", though I agree it's gross.
|
| The second part:
|
| > > Regardless of skin tone they've been treated much
| better in Asia than in America.
|
| > _This might be true but i was talking about overt
| racism._ I 've never experienced this total shameless
| overt racism outside china. It didn't even occur to
| 'locals' that totasting to white women's beauty had
| anything wrong with it, it just made sense to them that
| white = pretty.
|
| Emphasis mine.
|
| But then the parent comment stated:
|
| > This doesn't align with what my friends have
| experienced. Regardless of skin tone they've been treated
| much better in Asia than in America.
|
| > China , even to my friends of color has been amazingly
| great. They tell me you will get stared at, but it's
| nothing compared to the _open hostility_ faced in America
| on a day-to-day basis.
|
| Emphasis mine. So the parent was talking about overt
| racism too. They're both valid, I suppose.
|
| I guess the reason why this comment feels weird is
| because it really feels like there is an undercurrent of
| genuine hatred for the Chinese, which you are trying to
| justify with an experience of colorism, despite the fact
| that India (which I'm assuming you're from? Since you
| mentioned "Indian") also has problems with preferring
| white skin. I guess you can hate both Indians and Chinese
| for colorism, but it feels like you are just using
| colorism as an excuse to hate the Chinese.
|
| Sorry for being so accusatory. This comment just had a
| weird feeling I wanted to address.
| Mikeb85 wrote:
| So some background to my comment. I live in a tourist town.
| Tourists come for the weekend. Travelers come for 6 months to
| a year. There's a scene to traveling. Some people come,
| interact only with other travelers. Others interact with
| everyone.
|
| When I travel abroad, it's for months at a time. I avoid the
| 'scene', not for disdain for tourists or other travelers, but
| because you miss some things. Not gonna say I specifically
| avoid ex-pats, just don't seek them out either. Some ex-pats
| form groups because they want a social life and are too lazy
| to learn the language, I'm not about that. But if I meet one,
| that's fine too.
|
| I'm not traveling for Instagram clout, I just like it. My
| typical MO is to book a one way ticket, then spend months off
| the beaten path, working remote all the while. It's what I
| like. I meet people because I'm social (enough anyway, in
| many ways I'm introverted), not because I want something. And
| sometimes (usually) I just have a 5 minute conversation and
| it goes nowhere. Because people do have lives, yes. That's ok
| though. Same back home, if I sit at a bar and someone else
| strikes up a conversation, I engage or don't, depending on my
| mood. That's life. Truly good friends are rare anyway. And
| traveling 'friends' are usually just people who want a
| favour, in my experience. So I go places, am completely self-
| sufficient the whole way, I meet people, sometimes they stick
| around, often they don't.
| dougmwne wrote:
| Ok I get you and what I said really doesn't apply to you.
| If you are going somewhere for months, you are way outside
| the tourist category. Someone coming for a month or a year
| is practically living there. And at that point you would
| want to associate with other people who live there, not
| tourists there for a weekend. Someone who has lived there
| all their life and is not very open to meeting new people
| may not been interested in engaging someone who will only
| be there for 6 months, but that seems like an entirety
| separate issue. After all, some people refuse to engage
| with anyone not born in their town and see even people who
| have been there for decades as outsiders.
| Hayarotle wrote:
| I wouldn't assume any of those things about grandparent
| though. They haven't mentioned anything about wanting to be
| babysat, wanting a prop for instagram, etc. And many locals
| are often eager to meet tourists, specially in less visited
| places where they don't get to meet people from other
| countries too often.
| Emma_Goldman wrote:
| I think this over-states the case. There's a lot of reasons to
| meet up with other travellers. Unlike locals, they are free in
| the weekdays and often don't have any fixed plans, and want to
| - yep - travel. Travelling with other people is usually more
| fun than by yourself or just with one or two others. Also,
| depending on where you visit, travellers are often very
| internationally diverse. It can be a great opportunity to meet
| a highly cosmopolitan cross-section of people.
|
| The fact you're with other people doesn't mean you can't meet
| and interact with the local people and culture. It's also
| possible to spend time with travellers one day, and locals the
| next day. The point is they're not mutually exclusive.
| sbilstein wrote:
| yea especially when locals do the same shit all over the
| world: wake up get dressed do a job / raise kids / relax eat
| maybe do a hobby go to bed
|
| it's not like you get to Mongolia and are like "wow instead
| of jobs Mongolians just play golf all day"
| tough wrote:
| You could go experience a couple nights on a nomadic tribe
| in mongolia though, you picked a bad place which still has
| some stuff.
|
| Also hawk training for Eagle Hunting must be fun to
| watch...
| thehappypm wrote:
| Yeah, it's fun to talk to a local, but they're not gonna want
| to take the subway across town for that pizza you saw on
| Instagram.
| notahacker wrote:
| To be fair, they might have a better recommendation for
| food somewhere that puts more emphasis on cooking than
| their social media game. And be prepared to travel a long
| way for the novelty of foreign company sometimes.
|
| Then again, they might also take you somewhere they haven't
| been to before either because they're convinced it'll
| impress you more than the dive bar or McDonald's they
| usually meet their friends at, and sometimes the cheesy
| backpacker bar is more fun than both. Sometimes the cheesy
| backpacker bar has more local people in it than the
| reputable local restaurant too!
| Mikeb85 wrote:
| This is true. Honestly I didn't put much thought into my
| comment. Meeting up with other travelers is a thing and can
| be fun. I've done it. I'm older now and usually stay
| somewhere for a few months at a time when I travel now.
|
| Also, to me, traveling is different than touring/being a
| tourist. My permanent home now is a tourist town and there's
| a marked difference between tourists coming for a weekend and
| travelers who come for a yearlong work holiday visa. The
| 'traveler' scene is a thing, not my thing though. They have a
| good time of sorts. Living somewhere is different though.
| toss1 wrote:
| If you want to do that, then travel with a purpose.
|
| I've found that just being a tourist, I was kind of an
| inconvenience to everyone. But when I was there for a purpose,
| as when I did most of my traveling for ski racing or training,
| it was natural to make connections. Much less so when traveling
| to conventions, and least as a tourist.
|
| It was also cool that the schedule of the purpose would take me
| to places I'd otherwise never go.
|
| So, perhaps take up an activity, whether sports, academic,
| hobby, whatever, that often has events or meetings around the
| country or world, and follow that... Kind of becomes a double
| benefit...
| [deleted]
| bnralt wrote:
| > It's fun to hang out and party with other travelers, but you
| don't really learn anything about the country when you do that.
| The country you're traveling in gets reduced to an amusement
| park for you and your fellow travelers. Meeting locals and
| getting a feel for life in the country is IMO slightly deeper.
|
| I actually think interacting with other travelers is one of the
| best ways to connect with other cultures. It's one of the few
| situations where people from all over the world end up in a
| similar situation, at a similar level, doing similar things.
| With locals, there's invariably going to be a large disconnect,
| even when you can speak the language (and in most countries,
| few tourists do). You're always going to be a tourist visiting
| their home, whereas with a fellow traveler, you're a peer.
|
| It's not unlikely that someone would have a more productive
| cultural exchange hanging out with a Japanese traveler in Peru
| and a Peruvian traveler in Japan then trying to meet these
| people in their respective countries.
| randomopining wrote:
| Same. Once you've done the hostel -> new friends -> party thing
| many times... it's like the same thing.
|
| Best thing (impossible to do if you're just traveling quick) is
| to learn the language to like B2 level and then go around and
| socialize, etc. Can really get a true vibe of the people and
| usually everybody is so amazed that you put solid effort in to
| learn their language that they introduce you to friends and
| invite to parties etc. Way more rewarding than doing a pub
| crawl with a bunch of Germans and Brits and stuff.
| iamben wrote:
| Not going to lie, but in the year I spent backpacking around
| the world I spent an awful lot of time with other travellers.
|
| Turns out most people travelling don't live in the same city as
| you - and when you happen to end up in place they come from, or
| the places their relatives and friends live - it's them, or
| their friends, or their families that put you up for the night,
| wash your clothes, take you for dinner, show you around, etc
| etc.
|
| That aside, talking to other travellers usually means you have
| a much better idea about places to stay (because most locals
| don't have a clue about where to stay in their own town/city),
| how to get about, and all the rest - especially if they're
| following the same sort of travel path that you are.
|
| I get your point, I just think don't think you're necessarily
| _right_ for the market this site seems aimed towards.
| dominotw wrote:
| > meet locals.
|
| why would locals want to meet you?
|
| Locals stay the hell away from tourists hoards at most
| destinations.
| randomopining wrote:
| Yeah so you're not part of the tourist hoards. You're doing
| your thing and meeting people organically, just like making a
| new friend back home.
| Mikeb85 wrote:
| > why would locals want to meet you?
|
| Why does anyone want to meet anyone? Does every girl at the
| bar want to meet you? Does every co-worker want to hang out
| after work? The answer is obviously mostly no, but sometimes
| yes. So you go out, talk to people, maybe it goes somewhere,
| maybe it doesn't.
|
| > Locals stay the hell away from tourists hoards at most
| destinations
|
| So don't act like the tourist hordes? Act like a normal
| person? And go somewhere that the tourist hordes don't?
| nicky0 wrote:
| "I'm not like the other tourists"
| dominotw wrote:
| prbly same set of people that complain about 'crowds' at
| tourist places. YOU are the crowd.
| nicoburns wrote:
| There are definitely obnoxious tourists and respectful
| tourists.
| sobkas wrote:
| > There are definitely obnoxious tourists and respectful
| tourists.
|
| Ah, the dreaded "not all tourists..."
| s1artibartfast wrote:
| "all humans are the same"
|
| Is it that hard to imagine that some people are fun and
| interesting to be around?
| gkop wrote:
| And, what website would they meet on?
| rootsudo wrote:
| Facebook, Facebook groups, Tinder, Bumble, Grindr, Badoo,
| Cowork Cafes, Wework, Wework Socal media page for local
| office, startup incubators, much more...
| jraph wrote:
| I'm happy to meet foreign people coming to my city. Because
| it's fun, enjoyable and interesting.
|
| I'm not actively seeking it but that happened quite a few
| times through a hiking club or my choir.
|
| People don't know this, but they probably would have success
| just trying to speak to me in the street.
|
| I don't live in a touristic city though, people come to study
| or for the mountains around usually.
| aflag wrote:
| How do you meet locals?
| nicoburns wrote:
| Couchsurfing (RIP) used to be one of the best ways.
| selestify wrote:
| What are the new alternatives?
| listic wrote:
| Is it really dead?
|
| I know they've instituted a paywall and haven't looked
| beyond it (can't travel right now due to family issues +
| COVID) but I always thought that there should be a place
| for the sites/apps that straight up charge you for their
| service, instead of milking you with ads or selling your
| data. Has the good old paid model invalidated the site so
| much in the eyes of its users?
| andrewzah wrote:
| Language exchanges, live music, hobby meetups (via
| fb/insta/meetup.com), etc.
| Mikeb85 wrote:
| Same way you meet people at home. You go out and talk to
| people.
| aflag wrote:
| I met all my friends at university or work.
| subpixel wrote:
| Your last point is what meeting other travelers is about. It's
| fun!
|
| But once that box has been checked in life, there are swiftly
| diminishing returns to gain from meeting other transient,
| internet-connected, first-world people like yourself.
| Especially when the alternative is to get exposure to new
| things.
| imgabe wrote:
| This is really cool. Added a profile. Happy to meet anyone
| passing through where I live.
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