[HN Gopher] Frame Control
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       Frame Control
        
       Author : mxstbr
       Score  : 27 points
       Date   : 2021-11-28 10:33 UTC (4 days ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (knowingless.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (knowingless.com)
        
       | rglover wrote:
       | Have an NPD dad and this rings a lot of bells. In addition to
       | what's written here, it's helpful to study that disorder to
       | better navigate the idea of frame control (NPDs carefully tailor
       | reality in this way). A good starting point is Dr. Les Carter on
       | YouTube if you're unfamiliar with the disorder.
        
         | pedalpete wrote:
         | Yeah, I felt exactly the same way. The intro made me go "oh
         | wow, there are other people with that experience too". I kept
         | reading, but decided I needed to stop and come back to it later
         | when I'm in a different frame of mind. This could spin me out
         | for the day.
        
       | lux wrote:
       | This feels like a good description of narcissistic behaviour, at
       | least from my personal experience. Not sure if there's an
       | existing term in psychology for it since it's not quite
       | gaslighting, but I do like frame control as a term.
        
         | jjtheblunt wrote:
         | any term would be better than "gaslighting" for people who have
         | not seen the movie it alludes to, perhaps.
        
           | lux wrote:
           | True that.
        
       | yveezy wrote:
       | Science: Sun rises in the east A: Sun rises in the west B: Here
       | is some evidence that sun rises in the east (recommendation) (or)
       | You're insane for not believing in that (pressure?)
       | 
       | Is B trying to use components of frame control to take over A's
       | reality?
       | 
       | IMO the article feels very convoluted
        
       | bidivia wrote:
       | I believe the article is an example of overthinking.
       | 
       | If you think so much about an issue without the right data you
       | will get wrong conclusions. In other words, garbage in, garbage
       | out, no matter how smart(how good your processing unit is) you
       | are. This woman looks intellectually smart, emotionally dumb and
       | immature.
       | 
       | This woman had a pathological relationship and generalizes over
       | it. She is projecting that relationship over everyone, and that
       | is a serious mistake.
       | 
       | In spite of being an adult woman she has a "victim mentality" and
       | a tendency to create a "self fulfilling prophecy" because healthy
       | people will avoid her like the plague.
       | 
       | People that had a healthy relationship with their parents or
       | people in general does not want or need to deal with people that
       | consider every one else an abuser, just because they were abused
       | by someone.
       | 
       | If your father rapes you your mind will associate all men as
       | rapists because he is the most important man in your life. But
       | that is wrong.
       | 
       | If your parents are enemies inside marriage with a terrible
       | relationship you will generalize all marriages as bad because it
       | it the marriage that you know better. But that is wrong.
       | 
       | The way to deal with long lasting traumas is working on it
       | emotionally, not rationally and usually over a long time too
       | until you can make progress.
        
         | yorwba wrote:
         | > This woman had a pathological relationship and generalizes
         | over it. She is projecting that relationship over everyone
         | 
         | From the article:
         | 
         |  _The vast majority of good people with good intent aren't
         | doing any significant kind of frame control;_
         | 
         | > healthy people will avoid her like the plague
         | 
         | If you read her other writing you might learn that people are
         | willing to pay significant amounts of money for her company.
         | Maybe they aren't healthy, I dunno.
         | 
         | I think you improperly slotted this insightful article as
         | "woman with victim mentality projects her trauma on everyone"
         | instead of "highly observant person describes behavioral
         | patterns from experience". Maybe read it again?
        
       | halayli wrote:
       | I feel OP's definition needs to be narrowed down a bit. Debating
       | climate change with someone that denies it is not a matter of
       | opinion. Accepting that the sky is blue doesn't mean that I
       | jumped into the other person's frame or I inherited their belief
       | system. It just means I learnt a new fact.
        
         | bsedlm wrote:
         | > It just means I learnt a new fact.
         | 
         | and that you're comfortably within a fact-based frame (perhaps
         | "meta-frame" is more appropiate). Which is a very effective
         | frame which enables cooperation with millions of others but
         | nonetheless is a frame.
        
       | errantmind wrote:
       | This appears to be an example of weaponized generalization. The
       | examples of what frame control looks like and doesn't look like
       | are broad to the point of meaning anything you want them to mean,
       | OR, lack any sense of boundaries.
       | 
       | The author says everyone exercises frame control all the time,
       | including themselves, and doesn't know what to do about it. In
       | another sentence says their reaction when encountering it is to
       | 'burn it with fire'. It ends with telling people to rely on their
       | feelings.
       | 
       | Convoluted, conflicted, generalized, and entitled. Everything I
       | don't like.
        
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       (page generated 2021-12-02 23:02 UTC)