[HN Gopher] What impossible meant to Richard Feynman
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       What impossible meant to Richard Feynman
        
       Author : dnetesn
       Score  : 232 points
       Date   : 2021-11-30 13:48 UTC (9 hours ago)
        
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       | tzs wrote:
       | > He called out my mistakes using words like "crazy," "nuts,"
       | "ridiculous," and "stupid."
       | 
       | One of the things I liked when I was a student at Caltech is that
       | (1) most people recognized they were surrounded by people at
       | least as smart as they were, (2) most people knew that even the
       | most brilliant people occasionally make mistakes (often even
       | elementary mistakes), and (3) most realized that someone calling
       | your idea "stupid" doesn't mean they were calling _you_ stupid--
       | they would freely admit that they too occasionally offered stupid
       | ideas.
       | 
       | When you had a stupid idea someone would tell you, without a lot
       | of tiptoeing around or trying to work in some praise too to
       | balance things out. Just say it and we move on.
       | 
       | This would have been a quite plausible conversation at Caltech:
       | 
       | tzs: we should try X.
       | 
       | someone: that's a stupid approach. It can't work.
       | 
       | tzs: [thinks about it a moment] Yeah, you're right. Never mind.
       | 
       | Also plausible would have been a conversation that starts with
       | the same first two sentences but ends like this:
       | 
       | tzs: no it is not.
       | 
       | Someone: [thinks about it a moment] Oh...yeah X should work.
       | Let's try it.
        
         | watwut wrote:
         | People who barely finished high school routinely call each
         | other "stupid" or "ridiculous" and it has nothing to do with
         | them realizing any of your points. Many subcultures are rude or
         | swear a lot or insult other a lot. This does not imply they
         | call everything stupid because they are too humble while being
         | aware of how intelligent they are. This just means that Caltech
         | had using words like "stupid" normalized.
         | 
         | Frankly, this just shows that Caltech student can twist run-of-
         | the-mill rude behavior into tale of their own greatness.
        
           | slingnow wrote:
           | I finished high school and college, and my friends and I
           | routinely communicate with each other in this way. I also
           | never went to Caltech.
           | 
           | Any other odd blanket statements?
        
         | deanCommie wrote:
         | The amount of abusive behaviour that gets normalized in
         | Academia is outlandish. As is the hero-worship that becomes
         | associated with stories of geniuses like Feynman.
         | 
         | > The harsh words stung at first, and caused me to question
         | whether I belonged in theoretical physics. But I couldn't help
         | noticing that Dick did not seem to take the critical comments
         | as seriously as I did. In the next breath, he would always be
         | encouraging me to try a different approach and inviting me to
         | return when I made progress.
         | 
         | This is survivor bias through and through. Plenty of people
         | faced the same harsh words, and took them personally, and left
         | theoretical physics. You might say "good riddance", they
         | wouldn't have belonged or succeeded in the first place, but I
         | don't believe that's true.
         | 
         | Feynman came up in a different time, so let's look forwards not
         | backwards.
         | 
         | There is a way that you can be 1) direct, 2) precise, 3)
         | honest, 4) efficient without being a dick, being rude,
         | aggressive, and unintentionally demoralizing others.
        
         | ksec wrote:
         | >One of the things I liked when I was a student at Caltech
         | 
         | How long ago was that?
        
         | triceratops wrote:
         | You don't have to call a stupid idea "stupid". You also don't
         | have to work in praise or tiptoe around it. The Socratic method
         | is quite good at exposing bad ideas. And it (mostly) doesn't
         | result in hurt feelings or egos. When done well, everyone (even
         | the questioner) can learn something.
        
         | g42gregory wrote:
         | I fear Caltech is one of the very few educational institutions
         | that kept its scientific integrity in the last decade. Even
         | Princeton is seeming going down in the woke wake.
         | Unfortunately, Caltech is not for everyone in terms of work and
         | dedication involved. Which presents a difficult dilemma for the
         | graduating high school students: where do you even apply for
         | the undergrad studies?
        
           | whimsicalism wrote:
           | The "woke wake"?
           | 
           | Just get your mind out of the culture wars, I guess. I went
           | to one of these schools and was fine just putting my head
           | down and studying. People are way too overconcerned over
           | these things that don't really matter at all. The idea that
           | "cancellation" is anything new is an example of a "stupid"
           | idea.
           | 
           | At my school, for instance, some people will get "cancelled"
           | who I don't think should get cancelled (Chelsea Manning),
           | others will get "cancelled" rightfully in my mind (Milo
           | Yiannopoulos, maybe Charles Murray but haven't thought too
           | much about it). This is nothing even remotely new, and I
           | don't pay it too much mind - regardless of which faction is
           | getting cancelled today.
        
             | [deleted]
        
             | hellbannedguy wrote:
             | I heard teachers are so scared of being vilified by
             | students, they don't bother to state a fact, or even argue
             | anymore.
             | 
             | It's not just an argument in class; it's plastered all over
             | the internet and could have far reaching future problems
             | for their future.
             | 
             | I like the fact students have more of a say.
             | 
             | In my day, I had a chemistry teacher harrass me to the
             | point I needed to change schools. I remember going to a
             | school counselor, and the counselor said, "Dr. Bezergian is
             | crazy, and you are the type he likes to go after. At the
             | time, I didn't understand "the type". It turns out he would
             | make life in his class difficult if certain students that
             | didn't return his advances. I started putting it all
             | together when I was in a bar celebrating finishing second
             | semester of Organic Chem. after enrolling in a different
             | college. I was giving my usual Dr. Berzergian stories. A
             | guy from another table chimed in and knew the PhD. He
             | filled me in on his personality picadillos.
             | 
             | My point is even if we had the internet back then I
             | probally wouldn't have said anything about the guy, but the
             | other guys who had to switch schools for chem, or just drop
             | out of college, probally would have posted something about
             | the man. Hell, we woukd probally have our tuition paid over
             | his sexuality and the way he tried to get his dates?
             | 
             | I lost my point.
             | 
             | I guess it's just discussing topics in class shouldn't be
             | posted on the internet, unless those topics are causing
             | damage to the students. I guess we will argue over whats
             | bad enough to ruin a teacher's reputation in school, and
             | socially?
        
             | g42gregory wrote:
             | Don't assume my mind is in the culture wars. I don't care
             | about people you mentioned above. I care about academic and
             | research integrity of our institutions.
        
               | whimsicalism wrote:
               | Okay? I don't think that there is any unique attack on
               | academic and research integrity of our institutions. If
               | those institutions could survive jim crow, etc. I'm
               | guessing they can survive whatever is happening right
               | now.
        
         | otikik wrote:
         | I don't doubt that was your personal experience, but I strongly
         | doubt that everyone would behave like that all the time with
         | everyone else.
        
         | SavantIdiot wrote:
         | That only works when both people are in on it.
         | 
         | If someone doesn't know "stupid" is code for "that idea is
         | stupid" and not "you are stupid", it isn't a very effective
         | communication mechanism.
         | 
         | People are complex, and it is not helpful to assume everyone
         | should just go about their day to day as an emotionless robot.
         | I mean, you can assume that, but unless you're a CEO or a
         | famous Professor, you'll just be thought of as an asshole to be
         | avoided.
        
           | deltarholamda wrote:
           | It's an old saw, but we teach children the "sticks and
           | stones" bromide because it's true. Having to bracket
           | everything you say in qualifiers and conditions is why press
           | releases are completely unreadable dreck.
           | 
           | If you're in a field where Things Have To Get Done, stopping
           | every few words to make sure nobody's getting their feelings
           | hurt is a cost with very little benefit, other than airy and
           | nebulous principles like "inclusivity." Not to mention you
           | will never--and I mean never--get people of a certain
           | temperament to go along with an ever-changing set of rules
           | designed to inflict zero emotional distress. And the people
           | of that temperament are very likely to be in technical roles.
           | 
           | I mean, you can want it to be different, but you might as
           | well want the sky to rain cheese.
        
             | j7ake wrote:
             | If you're in a field where "Things Have To Get Done", why
             | add superfluous words like "That is stupid, it won't work
             | because X", when "it won't work because X" is sufficient
             | and is easier on the ears to the listener?
        
             | SavantIdiot wrote:
             | > It's an old saw, but we teach children the "sticks and
             | stones" bromide because it's true. Having to bracket
             | everything you say in qualifiers and conditions is why
             | press releases are completely unreadable dreck.
             | 
             | How very 1940's of you, is it really that inconvenient for
             | you to be considerate?
        
               | mbg721 wrote:
               | Real respect is different from avoiding the magic-words.
        
               | bettysdiagnose wrote:
               | But if you want to communicate that you respect someone
               | you will avoid the magic words because it's impossible
               | for them to read your mind and understand your true
               | intentions. Just empathy isn't it? If someone calls you a
               | cunt but in their heart of hearts deeply respects you,
               | that's pretty useless isn't it? Because it's impossible
               | to know what is truly in their heart, and you can only
               | judge them by what they say and what they do. If you
               | respect someone why would you communicate in such a way
               | that they could reasonably come to the conclusion that
               | you in fact don't respect them at all?
        
             | deanCommie wrote:
             | We teach them this concept because the world is full of
             | a-holes who won't take the bare minimum step of being a
             | decent person to others and consider their feelings or how
             | their words may have someone feel.
             | 
             | I work in a field where Things Have TO Get Done. We pride
             | ourselves on directness, honesty, and precision. NONE OF
             | THOSE THINGS REQUIRE YOU TO BE A DICK. You don't use words
             | like "stupid". You phrase your criticism surgically to be
             | specific about the idea and not the person.
             | 
             | Too many people don't want to learn social graces and use
             | the excuse that they are just efficient direct and honest
             | to justify being a dick.
        
             | tshaddox wrote:
             | I don't think that a professional environment setting
             | expectations for how to communicate criticism is as
             | difficult or unrealistic as the sky raining cheese.
        
             | rspeele wrote:
             | In the example being discussed, it's faster to simply
             | change "That's a stupid idea, it won't work because X" to
             | "That won't work because X".
             | 
             | If Things Have To Get Done, why waste time making an
             | insulting judgement instead of simply getting to the point?
        
             | whimsicalism wrote:
             | Eh, I think a big part of getting things done is to
             | creating an environment where people feel comfortable
             | getting things done.
        
               | whydoyoucare wrote:
               | I think that is largely a difficult and expensive task,
               | since there is no universally accepted definition of
               | "feeling comfortable", and it is impossible to comfort a
               | snowflake.
               | 
               | I'd rather be happy letting people go than chasing some
               | elusive target in the name of political correctness.
               | Sooner or later, I will either end up being miserably
               | alone or with enough smart people who just get things
               | done. I think this risk is worth taking.
        
               | rspeele wrote:
               | There is also no universally accepted definition of
               | "being an asshole", but nevertheless you know it when you
               | see it, right?
               | 
               | Maybe some fragile snowflakes should just get over their
               | hysterical emotional need to feel comfortable, and focus
               | on doing real work and getting stuff done. But by the
               | same token, maybe some assholes should get over their
               | pathetic emotional need to belittle others, and stick to
               | what contributes to the work.
               | 
               | There is a principle for robustly implementing computer
               | communication protocols called Postel's law: be
               | conservative in what you output, be liberal in what you
               | accept. I think the principle applies equally well to
               | human communication protocols.
        
               | whimsicalism wrote:
               | I don't know - not calling other people's ideas at work
               | "stupid" seems pretty obvious to me, it doesn't take some
               | great amount of mental effort to just call things "bad"
               | or even "not a good idea."
               | 
               | Also, it's possible to have smart people and a failure
               | culture and fail. If people are afraid of posing their
               | ideas because they think they will be shot down as
               | "stupid", that damages your culture.
        
               | WesolyKubeczek wrote:
               | Calling "bad braindead pile of stupid shit" "not so good"
               | devalues "good".
        
               | whimsicalism wrote:
               | Well I'm glad I don't work with you :)
        
             | bettysdiagnose wrote:
             | Well firstly it's not actually true, what we teach
             | children, in that words absolutely can hurt.
             | 
             | And it's not really hard to be respectful:
             | 
             | >"That's a stupid idea"
             | 
             | versus
             | 
             | >"That idea simply will never work"
             | 
             | identical information transfer, same amount of time taken,
             | simply subtracting the implicit disrespect.
             | 
             | As someone who works in academia (physics no less), IMO the
             | problem is that some people are complete fucking arseholes
             | because for some reason being a complete fucking arsehole
             | in academia is accepted, and the problem is not that some
             | people are sensitive. It's actually not hard to be nice.
             | It's mostly just stuff you learned as a child. I don't
             | accept that being a bit of a cunt makes you a better
             | physicist or makes a team more productive. Having said that
             | working in academia has certainly thickened my skin. I've
             | worked with some legendarily awful wankers in my short
             | time. I don't get phased any more, but that's not
             | necessarily a good thing.
        
               | scotty79 wrote:
               | I don't know. "That idea simply will never work." will
               | hurt the fragole person just as efficiently as "This idea
               | is stupid".
               | 
               | I think better communication us skip your general
               | assesment of validity and form the objections you have to
               | the idea as your questions about the idea.
               | 
               | Or just say "it's stupid" if you are in a hurry and don't
               | care about offending the person but don't expect great
               | interactions in the future.
        
             | XMPPwocky wrote:
             | "Not to mention you will never--and I mean never--get
             | people of a certain temperament to go along with an ever-
             | changing set of rules designed to inflict zero emotional
             | distress."
             | 
             | Why not? Because they'll throw tantrums, whining about how
             | it's just so unfair that they can't call people stupid? Too
             | bad. They can suck it up and do their jobs- a part of which
             | is effective communication- or they can leave.
        
               | AlgorithmicTime wrote:
               | Shut the fuck up, you stupid cunt.
        
               | deltarholamda wrote:
               | >or they can leave
               | 
               | That being the key thing here. They won't throw tantrums
               | --that's pretty much the exclusive domain of the sorts of
               | people who want to control how people speak--but they
               | will just go elsewhere. Or stop mentoring people, because
               | it's more trouble than dealing with thin-skinned people.
               | 
               | Interestingly, I'm not suggesting that people have to be
               | brusque or short. The sort of person who demands speech
               | codes is the sort who will brook no personal interactions
               | other than the perfectly harmless and anodyne, which
               | seems pretty authoritarian to me. Quite a few of the
               | technically minded do not care for authoritarianism, and
               | they tend to be way out on the right tail of the Bell
               | curve. You lose those at your risk.
        
             | triceratops wrote:
             | Your whole post is stupid.
             | 
             | See what I mean?
             | 
             | > Not to mention you will never--and I mean never--get
             | people of a certain temperament to go along with an ever-
             | changing set of rules
             | 
             | In a community that embraced NPM, Gulp, Grunt, Webpack, and
             | god knows what else in a span of 10 years?
             | 
             | > we teach children the "sticks and stones" bromide because
             | it's true.
             | 
             | We tell them that because tackling bullying is too hard.
             | And it makes us feel better when we verbally lash out at
             | our children ("It's not like I'm really hurting them!").
        
             | zebraswan wrote:
             | Would it be a crazy idea to consider that deploying
             | emotional intelligence has less obvious, higher order
             | effects, that make up for the initial investment?
        
           | stronglikedan wrote:
           | If someone mistakenly interprets "that's a stupid idea" as
           | "you're stupid", then that's on them. You can't stop someone
           | from thinking the world revolves around them like that.
        
             | pythko wrote:
             | In the article, the author says "The harsh words stung at
             | first, and caused me to question whether I belonged in
             | theoretical physics."
             | 
             | What prevented the author taking this to heart? "In the
             | next breath, he would always be encouraging me to try a
             | different approach and inviting me to return when I made
             | progress."
             | 
             | The appropriate takeaway is that when you call someone's
             | ideas stupid, that _does_ make them feel stupid unless you
             | counteract it with positive feedback in the same
             | conversation.
        
               | JanNash wrote:
               | This! Also, tone and general behaviour matters. I think
               | many comments here mistake this beautiful article for
               | advice to use words like this.
               | 
               | I've read both his biographic books multiple times, read
               | into the Feynman Lectures and watched many an interview
               | and other stuff with and about him.
               | 
               | If I'd ever gotten to meet him (he's a top candidate on
               | my "if you could have dinner with any person, living or
               | _dead_ " list) and he'd have called an idea of mine
               | stupid, I'm pretty sure that my reaction wouldn't have
               | been to be hurt. I would have hoped for him to explain to
               | me why it's stupid or give me a hint on where to look to
               | find out for myself. Context matters. Character matters.
               | 
               | Don't call people stupid. Don't call things (or ideas)
               | stupid unless you can explain what's stupid about the
               | thing or idea and why.
               | 
               | If you're passionate about something, try to appreciate
               | when someone tells you, without euphemism, why it won't
               | work.
               | 
               | If anyone has an idea on how one could get to travel back
               | and meet him, we can find out together why it's stupid.
               | Or "impossible" :)
        
           | leephillips wrote:
           | It's not "code". Saying "that idea is stupid" is different
           | from saying "you are stupid". Nobody has to be "in on"
           | anything.
           | 
           | However, unless one is used to this frank style of
           | communication, I'm sure it can be off-putting.
        
             | crispyambulance wrote:
             | "used to" is basically the same thing as "in on it".
             | 
             | Moreover, context matters a lot with language style. One
             | can't just lift Feynman's way of talking, transplant it
             | somewhere else and expect it to be effective.
        
             | watwut wrote:
             | It still makes you a rude jerk in most situations.
        
               | luckydata wrote:
               | In the USA it does, in Europe it's way more normal.
        
               | blitzar wrote:
               | If I throw a bad pass in a ball game, and it gets called
               | out as such, does that imply that they consider me a 'bad
               | person'? Possibly some totally irredeemable piece of shit
               | that should be locked up and not around children?
               | 
               | Or is a bad pass, like a the bad idea thrown out there,
               | just that?
        
               | whimsicalism wrote:
               | It's a line. I would not want ideas in my workplace to
               | regularly be called "stupid" but I wouldn't mind "bad"
               | nearly as much.
        
               | smcl wrote:
               | Ok first - no it doesn't make you an irredeemable piece
               | of shit or a bad person. But if you do it in a weird way
               | it _does_ mean that you 're someone who's lacking in
               | social skills. We're talking in abstract ideas so I can't
               | possibly know what you meant but:
               | 
               | blitzar: what the fuck is wrong with you, smcl, that's
               | two goals you've cost us because you lost your man
               | 
               | and
               | 
               | blitzar: for fuck's sake, smcl, focus, watch #11 he's
               | killing us with those runs. we're not out of the game but
               | you need to step it up
               | 
               | are two ways you as a teammate could probably admonish me
               | for costing our team a couple of goals. Both involve
               | swearing, both are blunt and establish some fault. One is
               | useless ranting, and will probably heap misery on the
               | teammate and make them wish for the final whistle. The
               | other is relatively productive and could possibly help
               | (depending on how useless or hungover I am). So it
               | depends, if by "called out" you mean something like #1
               | then I strongly disagree. If it's #2 then cool, I'd like
               | you as a teammate :)
               | 
               | But on that original topic, I think that when someone
               | says they think "that's a stupid idea" is unconstructive
               | or damaging, it doesn't mean they want to be coddled,
               | given a treat and told they're special. It just means
               | that's a needlessly confrontational approach. If that
               | person at the top of this thread is _really_ on the same
               | wavelength with some people that they can openly talk
               | like that, more power to them. But I suspect what 's
               | _actually_ happening is a handful of students were
               | talking that way, and most people secretly resented it
               | and didn 't enjoy being around them because of how they
               | acted.
               | 
               | Then again, if it's coming from Feynmann I imagine
               | there's something in the tone, delivery or context that
               | would soften the blow :)
        
             | SavantIdiot wrote:
             | You have incorrectly interpreted the thread. It literally
             | starts with Feynman saying, "That's stupid," and the
             | subsequent poster claims that it is to be implied the idea
             | is stupid, not the person. I point out that lacking "that
             | idea", it becomes code.
        
               | FalconSensei wrote:
               | - Hey, I have this idea where xyz...
               | 
               | - That's stupid
               | 
               | It's clearly talking about the idea. No one says "That's
               | X" when referring to someone. When someone shows me a
               | painting and I say "That's beautiful", I'm obviously
               | referring to the painting, right?
        
               | seoaeu wrote:
               | If you show someone a painting you made and they tell you
               | "That's beautiful", you may reasonably conclude that they
               | think you're a good painter.
               | 
               | Similarly, if you come up with an idea and someone tells
               | you it's stupid, you might conclude (especially if it's a
               | recurring pattern) that they don't think you are very
               | smart. If that is not the conclusion they wanted you to
               | come to, it is on them for not communicating better
        
               | SavantIdiot wrote:
               | No. It is not obvious. That's the whole point of this
               | discussion.
        
               | DiggyJohnson wrote:
               | How is that not obvious? Do you hold that position?
        
               | leephillips wrote:
               | It's not obvious? So there is a chance "that's beautiful"
               | means that the person showing him the painting is
               | beautiful? I'm mystified.
        
               | rspeele wrote:
               | > So there is a chance "that's beautiful" means that the
               | person showing him the painting is beautiful?
               | 
               | No, but I think the choice of adjective is important.
               | Suppose instead of saying "That's a beautiful painting" I
               | said "That's a masterful painting".
               | 
               | The sentence structure is the same. The adjective is
               | still modifying "painting". I'm still saying the painting
               | is good. But the word I chose more directly implies a
               | judgement of the artist: I am describing the painting as
               | the product of a master painter.
               | 
               | I get the same impression from hearing "stupid idea".
               | Stupid is a description of intelligence, thinking
               | ability, aptitude: attributes which lie with the idea's
               | originator, not with the idea itself.
        
               | FalconSensei wrote:
               | You wouldn't say "that's a stupid person" unless you were
               | talking about a 3rd person
        
               | slingnow wrote:
               | So can you explain exactly what the "that" in "That's
               | stupid" is referring to?
        
               | SavantIdiot wrote:
               | You are free to say whatever you want and speak however
               | you like. Just remember not everyone fills in the blanks
               | the same way, and when being critical it is important to
               | be specific. If that bothers you and you want to grind
               | away at it to prove your way of speaking is correct, good
               | luck with that. I hope you end up working with people who
               | feel the same way.
        
               | OnlineGladiator wrote:
               | It's not code. "That's stupid" is short for "that idea is
               | stupid." There's no way to change it to "that idea is
               | stupid and therefore you are too" without the person
               | making the leap on their own. It only says how insecure
               | someone is to assume that.
        
               | rspeele wrote:
               | It's not much of a leap. "Stupid" is a judgement of
               | intelligence. Ideas don't have intelligence, people do.
               | 
               | To say something is "stupid" is to say that's it's the
               | product of unintelligent thinking. Somebody calling my
               | idea "stupid" may not be saying that I'm universally
               | stupid, but they're at least saying that I was
               | momentarily stupid to suggest that idea. Same thing if
               | you call my idea "retarded" or "idiotic", or conversely,
               | "smart" or "clever".
               | 
               | The argument could be made that we should all be rational
               | beings of pure logic, incapable of taking personal
               | offense or being emotionally slighted or discouraged by
               | such judgements. But we're not. And if we were, we would
               | also be capable of limiting our _output_ to objective
               | conclusions such as  "that won't work" rather than
               | subjective judgements such as "it was foolish to suggest
               | that it could".
        
               | jolmg wrote:
               | > without the person making the leap on their own. It
               | only says how insecure someone is to assume that.
               | 
               | Not necessarily. There are social environments where
               | things aren't said directly, but rather communicated
               | through choice of words, body language and actions.
               | People can make their thoughts abundantly clear without
               | saying them directly, and some would expect you to
               | understand even if they don't communicate it directly.
               | 
               | Figuring out if a person/group says things directly or
               | indirectly is part of the code. It's not necessarily
               | about insecurity. Even a person secure in their own
               | abilities can benefit from understanding when people
               | communicate heavily between the lines.
        
               | OnlineGladiator wrote:
               | I think this is moving the goalposts. Yes, I agree that
               | nonverbal communication matters. And I understand it's
               | possible there is some code to communication, similar to
               | how different cultures use words differently. But that's
               | not what's being discussed.
               | 
               | "That's stupid" is referring to _something_ being stupid,
               | not _someone_. You need to invent additional context to
               | interpret this differently.
        
               | jolmg wrote:
               | > But that's not what's being discussed. "That's stupid"
               | is referring to something being stupid, not someone.
               | 
               | What I meant is that people don't only ever say you're
               | stupid by super-directly saying "you're stupid". "That's
               | stupid" is not a big leap. Yes, context is key to
               | interpretation.
        
         | onemoresoop wrote:
         | We have to be careful, there are toxic people who would
         | constantly dismiss other people into submission by calling
         | their ideas stupid repeatedly. This is abusive and it better
         | not be permitted. They could use a more civil word for it.
         | Here's the thing, I don't mind people I'm familiar with (and
         | who earned their trust) calling me or my ideas stupid, but if
         | it comes from other people they don't really have that
         | privilege, they ought to measure up their words, especially if
         | do it repeatedly where it could become downright harmful.
        
           | gumby wrote:
           | This kind of pattern is also quite common at MIT (or was when
           | I was an undergrad). I found it great.
           | 
           | However your caution is warranted. Even if the person saying
           | "that's dumb" is a nice person the listener might not know
           | that, or might have been conditioned by someone like what you
           | describe.
           | 
           | Years ago I was on a panel: there was an organizer (who chose
           | the participants) and me. The first words I spoke were, "I
           | think [organizer] is completely wrong and in fact has things
           | utterly backwards." We spoke for a while and as we walked off
           | stage, Organizer said with a smile "That was great. I think
           | it went very well".
           | 
           | As we parted an audience member came up and said they were
           | shocked at how hostile I had been to Organizer.
           | 
           | I happened to know both people and they had attended MIT as
           | well.
           | 
           | Moral: jargon is contextual jargon, even if it consists of
           | ordinary words. Think of your audience.
        
             | onemoresoop wrote:
             | Yes exactly. I'd endear a friend back and forth laughingly
             | calling each other POS but in our context it was actually
             | ok banter. We were even talking about what a good
             | friendship we have so we can allow each other to use those
             | words and cross a line without any real threat. Such are
             | the contexts that are okay for this type of thing.
        
               | gumby wrote:
               | Advice for Australians in the US: you probably call
               | someone you don't like a bastard and call your best mate
               | a real bastard. Don't learn the hard was as I did: things
               | do not work that way in the USA.
        
         | burkaman wrote:
         | > someone: that's a stupid approach. It can't work.
         | 
         | Can't you just say "it can't work"? What additional information
         | is communicated when you say it's stupid?
         | 
         | If both people are on board with this conversation style then
         | obviously it's fine, but I know lots of smart people and none
         | of them communicate like this, even when they're telling me
         | clearly and concisely that I'm wrong.
        
           | inkblotuniverse wrote:
           | That it can't work because of a retroactively obvious
           | critical flaw, or it's overcomplicated, or something.
        
         | jkmcf wrote:
         | Fresh in my mind after reading two bios of Feynman, is when he,
         | a newly minted PhD from Princeton, arrives at Los Alamos and
         | tells Hans Bethe his idea is stupid and can't possibly work.
        
         | luketheobscure wrote:
         | The problem with this approach is that it pushes out a lot of
         | people, especially women and minorities. When you are
         | conditioned from birth to believe that you belong somewhere, a
         | bit of criticism like this is easily brushed off. White men
         | especially are used to seeing board rooms full of similar
         | looking people, or equally homogenous computer engineering
         | teams. We don't often stop to question if we belong in a STEM
         | field. We assume it.
         | 
         | When you've had to fight for your seat at the table, having
         | your idea called stupid by a high ranking faculty member might
         | rattle you enough to leave. Not because you don't deserve to be
         | there, or are somehow intrinsically less capable of receiving
         | criticism, but because you don't have the misplaced confidence
         | of some of your peers.
        
         | asmos7 wrote:
         | in the age of diversity hires I can't imagine calling someone's
         | ideal stupid and still having a job
        
           | whydoyoucare wrote:
           | Yup, one reason why the bar is getting lower by the day
           | across Universities and workplaces.
        
         | pythko wrote:
         | Much of the conversation so far in the comments has ignored the
         | context of that sentence in the article:
         | 
         | > He called out my mistakes using words like "crazy," "nuts,"
         | "ridiculous," and "stupid."
         | 
         | > The harsh words stung at first, and caused me to question
         | whether I belonged in theoretical physics. But I couldn't help
         | noticing that Dick did not seem to take the critical comments
         | as seriously as I did. In the next breath, he would always be
         | encouraging me to try a different approach and inviting me to
         | return when I made progress.
         | 
         | If you have many repeated interactions with the same people
         | where you make it clear you don't think they personally are
         | stupid, and also you are almost never wrong when you call
         | something crazy/nuts/ridiculous/stupid, perhaps you can get
         | away with it. If one of those things is not true, it is not a
         | good way of communicating (in North America, at least).
        
         | gugagore wrote:
         | Hurt feelings aside, sometimes a naysayer misunderstands, and a
         | quick dismissal of an idea misses out on some good ideas, and
         | some bad ideas that are still worth dissecting to figure out
         | the reason they are bad.
         | 
         | Why not:
         | 
         | tzs: we should try X.
         | 
         | someone: that can't work _because_ of some reason
         | 
         | [...]
         | 
         | We have emotions, and sometimes an emotion tells us an idea is
         | bad, and that is more economical than analyzing carefully why
         | an idea cannot work to ultimately arrive at the same conclusion
         | that our gut already made.
         | 
         | But sometimes your gut can be misleading, and sometimes it is
         | worth putting in the work to possibly discover an incorrect
         | assumption. In both of those examples I don't really see any
         | communication about the reason why something ultimately works
         | or doesn't work. All I see is people thinking to themselves.
        
           | thomasahle wrote:
           | > We have emotions, and sometimes an emotion tells us an idea
           | is bad, and that is more economical than analyzing carefully
           | why an idea cannot work to ultimately arrive at the same
           | conclusion that our gut already made.
           | 
           | I think this is exactly right. It also fits with what OP was
           | saying that it is liberating to be in an environment where
           | you can express your feelings like that.
           | 
           | Ylu shouldn't always just blurt out your gomut reactions, but
           | if you have an environment of mutual trust, it's
           | understandably a nice thing to be able to do.
        
             | lupire wrote:
             | > Ylu shouldn't always just blurt out your gomut reactions
             | 
             | case in point :-)
        
       | mjfl wrote:
       | It meant picking women up at bars :)
        
       | JTon wrote:
       | Good read. Here's the answer to the title question:
       | 
       | > I also learned that "impossible," when used by Feynman, did not
       | necessarily mean "unachievable" or "ridiculous." Sometimes it
       | meant, "Wow! Here is something amazing that contradicts what we
       | would normally expect to be true. This is worth understanding!"
        
         | hasmanean wrote:
         | Lewis Carrol wrote in Alice in Wonderland, the red Queen saying
         | "sometimes I believe 6 impossible things before breakfast."
        
       | GDC7 wrote:
       | To me the most amazing thing about Feynman was his enthusiasm for
       | relatively mundane things such as the Rio Carnival, stripclubs,
       | the bongos, painting and the fixation for going to Tuva which is
       | a place forgotten by both god and men.
       | 
       | You'd think a guy who accomplished the things he accomplished
       | would find it harder and harder to become enthusiastic about
       | stuff, because of the effect of the hedonistic treadmill.
       | 
       | Somehow I think his biggest accomplishment was his ability to
       | slow down the hedonistic tradmill.
        
         | whatshisface wrote:
         | If I were to identify anything with the hedonistic treadmill it
         | wouldn't be integrals.
        
           | vvoaterr wrote:
           | you mean, hedonic treadmill
        
             | whatshisface wrote:
             | If there's one thing I'd associate with the hedonic
             | treadmill, it wouldn't be remembering the difference
             | between hedonic and hedonistic.
        
           | avmich wrote:
           | I think, Heinlein in "Have spacesuit - will travel" mentions
           | something to the tune of "math is worse than peanuts".
           | Integrals could be holding attention quite well - just check
           | Youtube channels with explanations of everything, or MOOCs
           | which have rather robust audience.
        
             | whatshisface wrote:
             | It's not so much that there's no aspect of math that is
             | pleasing, as it is that whatever it is, it's exempt from
             | the hedonistic treadmill.
        
               | GDC7 wrote:
               | It's not math. It's you solving, winning and conquering
               | math problems, and beating other people to the solution.
        
               | datameta wrote:
               | Precisely. The more one learns the more unsolved problems
               | one discovers, each more brain-stimulating than the last!
        
         | montblanc wrote:
         | stripclubs? Edit: OK yes there were a bunch of stripclubs lol
        
           | alisonkisk wrote:
           | Feyman went to strip clubs to sit and work like people do at
           | coffee shops nowadays.
        
         | vvoaterr wrote:
         | you mean, hedonic treadmill
        
         | mbg721 wrote:
         | As I recall the stories, his playing of the bongos wasn't
         | exactly mundane; if anything, he was an expert at establishing
         | eccentricity as a personal identity.
        
           | GDC7 wrote:
           | I mean, c'mon.....with all due respect for bongo
           | players...reaching excellence in that field is also mundane
           | as society doesn't exactly put bongo players on a pedestal
        
             | mbg721 wrote:
             | I wasn't so much concerned with his technical skill as his
             | method of going about it, which was about as eccentric as
             | one can get.
        
       | mmphosis wrote:
       | The Feynman Lectures on Physics
       | 
       | https://www.feynmanlectures.caltech.edu/
       | 
       | Table of Contents (Volumes I II III)
       | 
       | https://feynmanlectures.caltech.edu/I_toc.html
       | 
       | https://feynmanlectures.caltech.edu/II_toc.html
       | 
       | https://feynmanlectures.caltech.edu/III_toc.html
       | 
       | Atoms in Motion
       | 
       | https://www.feynmanlectures.caltech.edu/I_01.html
        
       | JKCalhoun wrote:
       | An enjoyable read. I think I am suspicious of the usual fawning
       | over Feynman that I see (maybe because I am suspicious of any
       | cult of personality -- I think we all know Feynman was not
       | without flaws).
       | 
       | I found the description of the author's interactions with Feynman
       | to be truly delightful. There is a hint of worshipfulness in the
       | set-up but I think the infamous physicist delivered.
        
         | tantalor wrote:
         | > hint of worshipfulness
         | 
         | "my scientific idol, the legendary physicist"
         | 
         | Certainly a strong hint, isn't it?
        
           | toss1 wrote:
           | True, it's strong, but not unreasoned -- he was describing
           | his attitude as a student who knew at the time only of
           | Feynman's reputation, having not yet had many direct human
           | interactions with the "legendary physicist".
           | 
           | Sad that he's gone so those interactions are no longer
           | possible in this world. It's wonderful to read how an
           | obviously brilliant scientist in his own right treasured
           | those times with Feynman, and how often we read such accounts
           | here on HN.
        
         | yamazakiwi wrote:
         | Cult of personality is quite an exaggeration.
        
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