[HN Gopher] Facebook Is an Addiction Treadmill Most May Never Be...
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       Facebook Is an Addiction Treadmill Most May Never Be Able to Quit
        
       Author : thg
       Score  : 173 points
       Date   : 2021-10-06 17:45 UTC (5 hours ago)
        
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 (TXT) w3m dump (petapixel.com)
        
       | game_the0ry wrote:
       | Facebook is like vendor lock in for human social interactions and
       | emotions.
       | 
       | That's probably why Zuckerberg tries to acquire competitors -
       | trying to lock in your behavior and then sell it to the highest
       | bidder. Makes sense when you think about it.
       | 
       | When I suggest people delete FB apps from their phones, they
       | start writhing uncomfortably, and try to justify not doing so by
       | making some half-ass claim that their social life will suffer if
       | they did. Its the same response I would expect from someone who
       | is a moderate alcoholic and is told to drink less wine during the
       | week. The addiction is obvious.
       | 
       | My experience after deleting FB apps from my phone - social life
       | changed for the better and I feel less anxiety. It turns out,
       | most of my FB "friends" weren't really my friends. And I can
       | still check FB / Insta via web if I wanted to. Added bonus - FB
       | can't track me as well.
       | 
       | FB will do what FB does - try to steal as much data and attention
       | and sell it to the highest bidder. But you can only blame them so
       | much. Collectively, its on people to change and take
       | responsibility if they feel they have grievances related to FB.
       | 
       | Still, I have hope - awareness for social media's downside
       | effects is only increasing. Ms. Haugen's testimony and the Social
       | Dilemma documentary demonstrate that.
        
       | kmetan wrote:
       | OT: I have quit FB more then 5 years ago, but every time I see a
       | post like this I fear that I am still addicted. Not to FB but to
       | HN...
        
       | newaccount2021 wrote:
       | If you can be free to be addicted to alcohol, weed, or
       | cheeseburgers...then you should also be free to be addicted to
       | junk data
        
       | thomasfl wrote:
       | I have been just as addicted to Hacker News as I have been
       | addicted to Facebook. Since I discovered this site in 2007, it
       | has at times been a daily routine to come here. Of course you
       | don't spend as much time on HN as on FB. It only takes a few
       | seconds to scroll to the end on HN.
        
       | azta6521 wrote:
       | Did not even noticed it was down. I think the problem are the
       | people - Zuck just making bank on the weak.
        
       | ramesh31 wrote:
       | As someone who's recovered from multiple substance addictions in
       | the past, it is so painfully obvious when I see social media
       | addicts. It's literally the exact same behavior. The compulsion,
       | the lack of awareness, the ignoring of friends and loved ones
       | while mindlessly scrolling; it's all there. Social addiction is
       | even more sinister because the feedback loop is scientifically
       | optimized in a way no substance could ever match, and it feeds
       | the most base primal need that humans have which is status and
       | recognition. It's more powerful than even hunger. I don't know
       | how we can possibly get away from this.
        
         | haolez wrote:
         | No substance could ever match? More powerful than hunger? I
         | strongly challenge that.
        
           | wuliwong wrote:
           | I would think a strong challenge would contain _some_
           | rebuttal?
        
             | speedybird wrote:
             | When people get hungry enough, they become willing to eat
             | even their friends and family.
        
           | Barrin92 wrote:
           | Having spent a fair amount of time in internet cafes in my
           | youth I can tell you certainly I have seen my fair share of
           | people who have neglected sleep as well as sustenance and
           | some fairly other fundamental drives to consume digital media
           | for at times days without pause.
        
             | haolez wrote:
             | Oh, I get it now. I remember that some years ago I saw some
             | news about a Korean kid that died from playing a game for
             | three days in a row, without sleeping.
        
           | ramesh31 wrote:
           | >No substance could ever match?
           | 
           | If you plot the area under the curve of addictive behavior
           | engaged in over a lifetime, absolutely. People can quit
           | substance addictions. You know that your addiction is harming
           | you and actively destroying your life while you are engaged
           | in it. Those feelings eventually lead most people to quit if
           | they don't die. But social addiction is different. It feels
           | like you're actually doing something useful and good, while
           | it rots away your agency and sense of self. You become a
           | mindless scroller whose tastes, preferences, ideologies, and
           | overall cultural milieu become entirely mediated through
           | engagement algorithms without you ever being aware of it.
        
           | zepto wrote:
           | It's a pretty reasonable hypothesis. Social drives are innate
           | and are likely at least as powerful the drive for food, and
           | may be prioritized higher.
        
         | nonameiguess wrote:
         | I'm pretty sure there are substances that can match whatever
         | addictive qualities you get from reading a screen. My best
         | friend from high school died while detoxing from alcohol. I'm
         | reasonably sure social media withdrawal is not physically
         | dangerous.
        
         | smsm42 wrote:
         | If you ever heard about Maslow hierarchy, the status is way
         | towards the top. Things like hunger, safety and not being in
         | pain is much lower. So I highly doubt many people would forgo
         | food and agree to be in constant excruciating pain just to be
         | able to access facebook.
        
           | Geee wrote:
           | I think more reasonable stance would be that addicted people
           | stop caring about what they eat, and prioritize time spent on
           | Facebook instead of time spent on cooking better food.
        
           | betwixthewires wrote:
           | Have you ever met a nutrient deficient heroin, crack or meth
           | addict? I'd be willing to bet those habits are closer to the
           | top than food, but they seem to forego it and take that as
           | far as they can without dying. We are talking about addiction
           | here after all.
        
       | smsm42 wrote:
       | I find the premise ridiculous. I mean yes, there are people who
       | are addicted to it. There are people who are addicted to lots of
       | things, from playing video games to climbing ice-covered
       | mountains. But the idea that it's harder to quit facebook than to
       | get rid of, say, opioid dependency - which literally rewires your
       | body's biochemistry - sounds like complete BS. Of course, if your
       | life is so empty you have nothing to do but browse facebook, sure
       | it's hard to quit, but it's not because of the strength of the
       | addiction, it's because of the weakness of the alternative. I'm
       | sure if you cut off that person's internet access and threw their
       | phone into a lake, they'd be cured pretty soon.
        
         | betwixthewires wrote:
         | I don't disagree with you, but I felt the need to point out the
         | positive feedback loop in the scenario you laid out, that is,
         | the more time you use Facebook the less you spend in your real
         | life and so the alternative becomes weaker even if it was
         | strong when you started. People who use Facebook compulsively
         | didn't start out with no friends and family, if they had they'd
         | have had no reason to create an account on the first place.
        
         | gotostatement wrote:
         | This has the same energy as the cigarette lobbyist in congress
         | who talked about how smoking lettuce has the same health
         | effects as smoking tobacco
        
       | xtartupsHQ wrote:
       | It's been 6years since I actively used Facebook. But they
       | acquired everything that I'm addicted to.
        
       | ChicagoDave wrote:
       | I disagree.
       | 
       | If someone provided a simple service for friends and families to
       | share photos and updates, it's possible Facebook could be
       | disrupted. I have no evidence to back up my claim, but I think
       | those are the only things people truly care about.
       | 
       | It is the only thing I miss after deleting it two years ago. I
       | certainly don't miss Messenger, the Feed, or news.
        
       | donw wrote:
       | I disconnected from nearly all social media about four years ago,
       | and it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.
       | 
       | I did not even notice the recent Facebook outage in my daily
       | life, and wouldn't have even been aware of it without HN.
        
         | sibeliuss wrote:
         | Same here. It's been glorious getting all of that wasted time
         | back. (To say nothing of the weird, latent background
         | depression that suddenly vanished when I deleted said
         | accounts.)
        
         | throwaway123x2 wrote:
         | I noticed right away because whatsapp went down. Pretty much
         | all my social media is on whatsapp now.
        
         | standardUser wrote:
         | In the past several years I was able to leverage Facebook
         | groups to meet people and find activities when I moved abroad,
         | furnish an apartment when I moved back, discover a niche retro
         | gaming community that I adore, share photos and memories with
         | old friends when a high school friend passed away, collect
         | stories and remembrances that were shared for an uncle who died
         | and share those with his elderly, non-tech parents, to name
         | just a few experiences that would be difficult to replicate
         | without Facebook.
         | 
         | I don't like Facebook, but I can't deny the value it has added
         | to my life.
        
           | [deleted]
        
           | ramesh31 wrote:
           | This is always the response. But I would say ask yourself, do
           | you _truly_ need these things? Or are the fleeting
           | superficial connections that you maintain through social
           | media simply distracting you from seeking truly meaningful
           | interactions, and substituting an artificial (although
           | comforting) facade in its ' place?
           | 
           | If you truly care about someone, you will call and talk to
           | them. Or orient your life in a way that facilitates that
           | relationship. Otherwise what you are doing is tantamount to
           | slacktivism.
        
             | suzzer99 wrote:
             | I drove from Mexico to Panama. The Pan-American highway
             | group and several of the expat groups were indispensable
             | sources of information.
             | 
             | I was able to get out of Nicaragua during the big protests
             | in 2018 because someone on the Nicaragua expat group told
             | me they were letting foreign-plated vehicles through the
             | roadblocks. I never would have had the nerve otherwise to
             | walk up and say, "Hey, I'm an American, that makes me
             | special, please let me through."
             | 
             | Several hiking groups here in LA have also been invaluable
             | for me.
             | 
             | Not everyone has the same lived experience.
        
             | travisporter wrote:
             | Beautifully put. I have a cousin who always updates me on
             | what his extended family is doing as though he's talking
             | with them weekly. Turns out he's just regurgitating
             | Facebook status updates to me. He may as well have been
             | talking about Lionel Messi or Kylie Jenner
        
             | standardUser wrote:
             | Did I truly need to gather the sentiments of my dead
             | uncle's friends and coworkers to print out and share with
             | his grieving parents? I'm going to say yes, I did. Of
             | course, none of what I referenced precludes using a
             | different platform for the same experience. I wish I had
             | been able to gather those posts from WT.Social or some
             | other platform I don't think is ravaging our culture. But
             | that's not where the people are.
             | 
             | As for this: "Or are the fleeting superficial connections
             | that you maintain through social media simply distracting
             | you from seeking truly meaningful interactions"
             | 
             | I have more than enough meaningful interactions in my life,
             | and having less intimate interactions with a broader range
             | of people doesn't distract or detract from those more
             | significant connections. Sometimes, those less personal
             | connections are what have eventually led to some of my most
             | important connections.
        
           | nonameiguess wrote:
           | In contrast, I have done none of those things, but because I
           | have no idea if anyone else I might have otherwise connected
           | with or known has done them, either, I've lost nothing. It's
           | not like I have no one to tell stories to or no communities
           | I'm a part of. I just didn't find them on Facebook. People
           | still tell me when family or close friends die. I didn't
           | become unreachable.
        
             | standardUser wrote:
             | I don't really "tell stories" on social media, I'm not much
             | of a sharer on these platforms, rather I was giving
             | examples of when it was a useful resource, and specifically
             | instances where the resource doesn't have an obvious
             | replacement. I'm not sure I relate to the idea of "lost
             | nothing". By that logic I'd have "lost nothing" if I neve
             | flew on a plane, or sat quietly in a room for 10 years. But
             | in terms of pursuing things I do want to do, Facebook has
             | been a helpful resource on a number of occasions.
             | 
             | As for people dying, that for me has been far and away my
             | most valuable use of Facebook in recent years.
        
         | erikerikson wrote:
         | And, yet, here you are on HN ;D
        
           | jjulius wrote:
           | >... _nearly_ all...
        
             | erikerikson wrote:
             | Indeed! Considered that and yet I only recently started
             | referring to HN as my social media recently and thought
             | that might add to the conversation.
        
       | captainmuon wrote:
       | Are they taking about the same Facebook? I find it utterly boring
       | and only use it for messenger anymore.
       | 
       | It used to be addictive, before social media, when it was a
       | social network. You were interacting with real people, you could
       | meet new people, "stalk" people you know IRL, share stuff about
       | yourself or find out stuff about others. You would try to find
       | your crush on FB and check see if you have common acquaintances.
       | And you would obsessively watch who looks at your page and who
       | likes your posts. The thing that made it addictive were the
       | actual human interactions that people crave.
       | 
       | I wish someone would make a site like that again!
        
         | standardUser wrote:
         | I follow a certain set of pages/groups for some hobbies and
         | have muted almost everything else, including almost all people.
         | You can pretty much make a custom feed that way, though the
         | quality will depend on the quality of posts in those groups
         | (which is on average very low).
         | 
         | Instagram still sort of works like an actual social network for
         | me. I've found it's actually super important for dating (in my
         | age group/scene/whathaveyou).
        
         | afavour wrote:
         | I feel as though it's impossible for anyone to write a thread
         | on HN about Facebook without someone immediately coming in and
         | saying that Facebook is stupid and they deleted their account
         | years ago.
         | 
         | Yeah, me too. But you usually don't have to look beyond your
         | immediate family to find someone that uses Facebook (or at the
         | very least an FB-owned property) a ton. We aren't typical!
        
           | npunt wrote:
           | Fully agree, HN is absolutely not the place to get insight on
           | population-level experiences with tech (or most anything else
           | population-level; my pet peeve is people generalizing their
           | education experiences). These population-level problems are
           | far better understood by a process of deduction and looking
           | at what the data says.
           | 
           | I always read these types of comments remembering the
           | response to Dropbox [1] or Slashdot's response to the iPod
           | ("No wireless. Less space than a Nomad. Lame.").
           | 
           | [1]: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9224
        
           | root_axis wrote:
           | So what? Facebook has a lot of users, that doesn't negate the
           | point that quitting is not hard, people just like Facebook,
           | they don't want to quit.
        
         | ed_elliott_asc wrote:
         | I think my wife is addicted, she will pick up her phone to do
         | one thing but first goes to Facebook and scrolls, then she
         | forgets what she was using her phone for.
         | 
         | Maybe not addicted but she has a habit of going to Facebook
         | every time she uses her phone.
        
           | root_axis wrote:
           | That doesn't seem at all like addiction to me, that's just a
           | mundane routine. If she had a panic attack when FB went down
           | this week _then_ I think we could say it 's an addiction.
        
             | ed_elliott_asc wrote:
             | I think you are right, I was interested what would happen
             | while it was down and she was fine once she knew it was
             | down, until then she kept saying her internet wasn't
             | working.
        
           | vb6sp6 wrote:
           | "wellness" settings can limit the amount of time per day she
           | spends doing it if she wants to alter her behavior.
        
             | ed_elliott_asc wrote:
             | I'm not sure she wants to stop tbh
        
         | colpabar wrote:
         | I deleted my account several years ago and tried to get my
         | girlfriend at the time to do the same thing. She was in favor
         | of the idea, but facebook would show her a bunch of people with
         | a message like "but what about all these people, won't you miss
         | them?" and it did a _great_ job of picking people who she most
         | likely would not have kept in contact with if not for facebook,
         | so she never deleted it.
         | 
         | I think FOMO is the main reason most people are still on there,
         | not so much "addiction".
        
           | coliveira wrote:
           | You don't need to delete your account, you just need to
           | delete the app in your phone and the job is done.
        
         | yosito wrote:
         | > I wish someone would make a site like that again!
         | 
         | On a technical level, it's not hard. On business level, it's
         | doubtful if there's a compelling enough business model to
         | prevent it from becoming another surveillance capitalism
         | platform. And on a societal level, it seems impossible that
         | living generations will ever trust a platform en masse again
         | enough to achieve such ubiquity.
        
           | wintermutestwin wrote:
           | Non-profit would be a perfect business model. It isn't like
           | that level of functionality requires a multi $B company to
           | run it.
        
           | jay_kyburz wrote:
           | I'm convinced that there is a service people will pay for. My
           | idea is that _somebody_ in a social group will want it to
           | happen, and that they can pay for the whole group.
        
         | jay_kyburz wrote:
         | >I wish someone would make a site like that again!
         | 
         | I will make a site similar to that. I really want to. I have
         | plan all drawn up for how it will work.
         | 
         | Its ad free, but with premium services for those willing to
         | pay. One member of a family or group can pay for everybody.
         | 
         | The site is ephemeral, all posts are removed after three
         | months. Its not a place where you store all your photos.
         | 
         | Its a site where friends and families share their holidays,
         | their baby photos and birthday invitations. There won't be
         | sharing news.
         | 
         | I'm not scared to take on the behemoth, I'm one guy in a home
         | office. I only need a few thousand subscribers to make it worth
         | my while.
         | 
         | I've got about 2 years left on my current project, then I'm
         | going to start.
        
           | randycupertino wrote:
           | This actually sounds super cool and I think would fill a void
           | a lot of families/groups are using right now with group
           | texting.
           | 
           | Godspeed!
        
         | s5300 wrote:
         | To my knowledge, it's sort of like a retirement home for old
         | people or those with no real career, especially angry ones.
         | 
         | I was in an AT&T store the other day when Facebook went down,
         | dealing with something stupid. I hadn't really touched the
         | internet that day up to that point, blissfully unaware of the
         | Facebook issues.
         | 
         | During the last five minutes I was there, in the physical AT&T
         | store, some lady who was in her 50's, or really rough 40's,
         | came in screaming about not being able to get into Facebook on
         | her phone (I presume her only method of internet access) - &
         | also about an uptick of spam calls and texts, I can only
         | hilariously imagine why she's getting them.
         | 
         | Not too long after I got home I read about the Facebook outage,
         | and it hit me that was the reason she was in there. The
         | employees also seemed unaware as I could hear them discussing
         | standard diagnostics on her phone.
         | 
         | But yeah, that person in middle America had absolutely nothing
         | better going on in life than to drive roughly 10 minutes or
         | more (near all residential areas are far away from this store,
         | fairly rural) because she couldn't get on Facebook for a few
         | hours. She was... very not nice to the employees too.
        
         | ben_w wrote:
         | What hooks people like us (whatever that means) isn't
         | necessarily what hooks normal people (ditto).
         | 
         | Facebook has a massive training set at its disposal, claiming
         | more monthly active users than humans have lifetime heartbeats.
         | If FB _isn't_ chronically addictive for normal people with that
         | sample size, then either (0) A /B testing isn't as capable as
         | we like to think it is, or (1) FB isn't even trying anymore.
        
           | HPsquared wrote:
           | They don't necessarily need to target normal people, it's
           | possible that over time they have optimized their site to
           | attract those with certain traits that are most profitable.
        
             | svachalek wrote:
             | This is sadly true. Genuine social interaction is rewarding
             | but not addictive, as evidenced by thousands of years of
             | history. And there's not a lot of ways to profit from it.
             | On the other hand, getting people to come back every day or
             | every hour for messages that compel them to buy things or
             | vote a certain way is priceless to the right bidders.
        
             | ben_w wrote:
             | Hm, could be, if the whales collectively outspend the rest
             | of us collectively.
        
         | ljm wrote:
         | > Are they taking about the same Facebook? I find it utterly
         | boring and only use it for messenger anymore
         | 
         | You are not 'most people' then
        
           | fsckboy wrote:
           | he wrote a substantive post, the main thrust of which you're
           | not responding to.
           | 
           | what he said is how captivating he found facebook before they
           | made a number of changes to it. So he is actually saying he
           | is a part of most people, give what he says some creedence.
        
         | meijer wrote:
         | Wait... you could see who looks at your page?
        
         | 999900000999 wrote:
         | I'm in the same boat.
         | 
         | I still use it for messenger, but most days I don't even look
         | at Facebook.
         | 
         | You can still meet people in real life, just the other day I
         | asked out a girl at a concert and we got drinks afterwards.
         | That's much more straightforward than installing 30 apps and
         | chatting with bots.
         | 
         | In fact I had a girl offer to add me on Instagram and I just
         | said no. It's not that serious ( plus typically if she won't
         | give you her number she doesn't actually want to date you.)
         | 
         | I'll agree Facebook used to be much better. For example I was(
         | like 10 years ago) in a college group and I actually went out
         | with a girl from that. I think if your in a closed community it
         | can still be fun.
        
         | itake wrote:
         | +1. My news feed is like 90% memes and ads. I have like 3
         | friends that actually make interesting text posts that foster
         | discussions. Everything else is a waste cognitive energy.
        
           | treeman79 wrote:
           | I Facebook for support forums for autoimmune conditions. It
           | is drastically better then Reddit for finding answers or
           | suggestions.
           | 
           | Every question gets dozens of answers many of which are very
           | insightful and useful if repetitive.
           | 
           | The sort of stuff that doctors don't like to explain like my
           | bloodwork says this what does that mean and what should I do
           | next. people will have excellent answers.
        
             | jazzyjackson wrote:
             | how can you be sure that they're good answers?
        
               | whatshisface wrote:
               | I'm not in any Facebook groups but as a general principle
               | it's a lot easier to verify a true claim than it is to
               | come up with a true claim from nothing.
        
               | treeman79 wrote:
               | Because I spent years researching my conditions. A lot of
               | people on the forums have as well. Plus some treatments
               | show up again and again as "this worked for me"
               | 
               | For example I was getting up 10x a night to pee for
               | years. Kept seeing post to try aloe Vera freeze dried
               | pills. $$$
               | 
               | Finally tried it. And I slept through the night now.
               | 
               | Understanding test is another one.
               | 
               | A crap ton of doctors will see a negative test and
               | automatically declare you don't have X condition even if
               | you have every single symptom. Eventually you learned
               | that a large percentage usually get negatives on that
               | test. That there are alternate test that can be run. But
               | most doctors aren't even aware they exist.
               | 
               | Oh so a lot of the moral and legal support. Imagine
               | having the flu for 30 years And trying to live a normal
               | life. Everyone calling you lazy and a whiner and if you
               | try and do something about it you get labeled as a
               | hypochondriac and it all being dismissed as anxiety. Some
               | diseases take on average seven years or more to get
               | diagnosed because because of these problems; mine took 20
               | years.
        
           | gfxgirl wrote:
           | maybe you need to curate your feed? mine is no memes and few
           | ads which I ignore. it's all posts from family and friends .
           | also stopped following friends who I aren't close and friends
           | that post too much
        
             | amelius wrote:
             | If you unfollow people, Facebook will just fill the gap in
             | your newsfeed with more stupid memes and ads.
        
             | im3w1l wrote:
             | Why would I spend a lot of effort on getting myself
             | addicted?
        
             | itake wrote:
             | I certainly could curate my following list more, but that
             | takes too much time. Manually unfollowing ~1.1k is boring.
             | 
             | Also, I am in FB groups b/c at one point they were
             | important to me (like looking for housing in SF). I don't
             | exactly want to leave the group b/c I know I will need it
             | later, nor do I want to deal with unfollowing all of the
             | groups I don't are about.
        
               | nmstoker wrote:
               | Sounds like being the FB equivalent of an IRL hoarder!
               | 
               | Why not drop out the groups and rejoin in the unlikely
               | event you really do need them later? Most people I know
               | get by very well with no FB groups at all.
        
               | itake wrote:
               | I've certainly done left and rejoined before. I worry
               | that Group moderators might not allow me back in (either
               | they stop accepting new members or get annoyed at someone
               | for jumping in and out). Also, there is some friction
               | with joining Groups. Group owners ask filter questions
               | and delay admissions by days. You can "unfollow" groups,
               | but that requires a few clicks.
               | 
               | FB groups are the best way for me to find roommate-style
               | housing. "{city|country} expat" Groups help me plan my
               | travels and answer questions. I don't know of other
               | platforms that provide this service for me at low costs.
        
         | klyrs wrote:
         | Herein lies the banality: facebook _is_ boring, but if you 're
         | bored, it's better than nothing. I don't begrudge folks using
         | it to pass the time on transit to avoid interacting with the
         | public... but I've witnessed quite a few people scrolling
         | endlessly while half-watching tv, half-participating in face to
         | face interactions, etc. I've fallen into that trap myself,
         | during a period of intense burnout -- my ability to focus or
         | produce dropped to zero, and... gotta get that dopamine.
        
           | i_am_proteus wrote:
           | I'll assert that it's much worse than nothing.
           | 
           | "Nothing" isn't bad. Meditate. Let your imagination run wild.
           | Relax. You can't do those things on facebook dot com.
        
             | klyrs wrote:
             | For people with severe anxiety or depression, meditation
             | can actually aggravate the situation and do significant
             | harm. Letting one's mind run wild in that situation leads
             | to more anxiety, suicide planning, etc.
             | 
             | But, I'll amend my statement: facebook is less boring than
             | a blank screen.
        
               | ferrumfist wrote:
               | That's absurd. There is no scientific basis that would
               | support your assertion. In fact, increased social media
               | activity leads to a higher chance of suffering from
               | depressive episodes. Meditation has been shown to to
               | actually combat symptoms of depression.
               | 
               | If you can't sit still with your own thoughts for 60
               | seconds without spiraling, then you shouldn't even be
               | remotely near social media.
        
         | betwixthewires wrote:
         | You know what, you're right, I never noticed this change,
         | probably because I quit FB years ago. It's just a content
         | aggregator now, there's not much social about it aside from
         | FOMO.
        
       | ewzimm wrote:
       | Does anyone else find it hard to personally connect with the
       | well-researched claim that people respond with a fight-or-flight
       | response to ideas that challenge their core beliefs? I've always
       | found ideas to be more interesting the more they challenge my
       | core beliefs. This is true of math and science, but especially
       | true of things like religion. I remember how wonderful it was as
       | a teenager to find challenges to the ideas I was raised with,
       | debating my positions with people online, and appreciating losing
       | debates and having my mind opened to new ideas.
        
         | betwixthewires wrote:
         | I'm like you in this respect, but I wasn't always. It took
         | reflection and effort to realize that being challenged is more
         | stimulating than being defensive, and more productive
         | personally. So yes, I can understand that line of thinking, and
         | yes, it is pretty senseless.
        
         | apeace wrote:
         | I can relate to it. Being challenged on a core belief is an
         | uncomfortable feeling for me. I've learned that in order to be
         | open minded I need to pause, listen, and take as much time
         | reflecting as I need before I respond. Oftentimes that means I
         | bow out of a debate with "That's interesting, I hadn't thought
         | of that before, I really want to think about that". For me, it
         | takes a lot of discipline to not give in to the fight-or-flight
         | reaction, and really digest something that challenges me. And
         | I'm not always perfect at it.
         | 
         | Ironically, I feel like online platforms should be a _better_
         | venue for that type of thing, since it 's asynchronous and you
         | don't have people in front of you awaiting your response.
         | Obviously it doesn't tend to work that way, though.
        
         | rvbissell wrote:
         | I suspect it depends on how much social and psychological
         | equity you have invested in the core beliefs, when they get
         | challenged. If you've never experienced much indoctrination, I
         | can completely understand why it would be hard for you to
         | relate.
        
         | BitwiseFool wrote:
         | >"that people respond with a fight-or-flight response to ideas
         | that challenge their core beliefs?"
         | 
         | I believe a large part of this is due to people's
         | personalities. Namely, Openness and Agreeableness.
         | (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Five_personality_traits) It
         | stands to reason that someone who is low on openness and not
         | agreeable would react poorly to their core beliefs being
         | challenged, and vice versa.
        
         | htrp wrote:
         | Public key encryption, especially PGP, is useless in a modern
         | computing context. Windows has solved almost all identity
         | management issues for the end-user base.
         | 
         | (did that trigger an emotional response?? It bothered me to
         | write it)
        
           | mjevans wrote:
           | Sadly, I agree with the first half; for normal end users
           | anyway. (Open)PGP / GNUpg are uselessly cumbersome, slow to
           | adapt standards, useful tools that are ill-suited to the
           | needs of most end users and have horrifically bad UI.
           | 
           | The second half is total bunk though, and I'd like to hear
           | how you think that's possibly the case. Maybe there's an
           | angle I'm missing since I don't use that platform for those
           | things. I suspect it was just made up to see what the
           | reactions were.
        
             | htrp wrote:
             | I took two of the most awful things that bother me about
             | general purpose computing (and likely the larger HN
             | community) and typed them in to see if that would trigger
             | an emotional response.
             | 
             | My heart rate actually jumped 15 bpm writing the second
             | statement.
        
           | ewzimm wrote:
           | That's a great one, and it hits close to home. I'm a huge
           | believer of libre software. I'm typing this response in the
           | vim-based text editor of w3m inside a Terminology terminal on
           | dwm. Just today I fully moved the business I manage off the
           | StatusNet/GNU Social network plus OwnCloud which I've run for
           | the last decade to Microsoft Teams because using AzureAD and
           | Office365 was more efficient for everyone. I haven't changed
           | my beliefs, but I appreciate the best solutions wherever I
           | can find them. If a better option comes along, I'll gladly
           | take it!
        
         | gmadsen wrote:
         | Yes, as I'm sure many do here as well. Thats because the HN
         | community is not representative of the average population
        
         | haswell wrote:
         | I grew up in a very religious (technically a cult) setting.
         | Earlier in my life, I believed some of it. I bristled at the
         | suggestion that what I'd been taught might be wrong. I relished
         | in the opportunity to practice "apologetics" and debate non-
         | believers - a concept that appealed to me deeply at the time.
         | 
         | And then, I grew up and left the bubble. I was fortunate enough
         | to get a job working with people who held diverse viewpoints. I
         | still found myself resisting those viewpoints instinctively,
         | but I learned something that surprised me at the time: the
         | people who held those viewpoints were good people! Who'd have
         | thought? I'd been told those people were the enemy.
         | Unbelievers, sinners, "of this world".
         | 
         | As my relationships with those people grew, the cracks in my
         | own belief systems started to grow.
         | 
         | I'm now in my mid 30s, and would describe my mindset as that of
         | a scientist. I'm excited to learn when I'm wrong, because it
         | means I learned something new about the world.
         | 
         | I often think about the people I left behind, many of whom are
         | still deeply in the bubble. I wonder if I got out because I was
         | predisposed to have an open mind, and when given the
         | opportunity I took it, or if I was just exposed to the right
         | combination of things to help me see the light.
         | 
         | All of this to follow up on this:
         | 
         | > _Does anyone else find it hard to personally connect with the
         | well-researched claim that people respond with a fight-or-
         | flight response to ideas that challenge their core beliefs?_
         | 
         | I can still feel some kind of connection to that early version
         | of myself, or at least I know it was there and now it's not.
         | This history has established within me some empathy for people
         | who still do react poorly to new ideas, and I've found that it
         | helps me better understand (not accept) the viewpoints of
         | others around me that might otherwise seem insane.
         | 
         | Edit: I know it's not great to complain about downvotes, but
         | I'm really puzzled here.
        
           | rvbissell wrote:
           | I'm not sure why you were net-downvoted; your anecdote was
           | on-topic, relative to the comment you replied to.
           | 
           | I have a similar background, and your use of 'of this world'
           | may possibly indicate that we both suffered at the hands of
           | the same cult.
           | 
           | Within myself, I have personally experienced both the fight-
           | or-flight reaction to dis-confirming datapoints, and also
           | excitement at learning something new. The former happened
           | more often when I was still in the clutches of the cult. I
           | think it boils down to how psychologically invested you are
           | in your beliefs, at the time of feeling the cognitive
           | dissonance.
        
       | twistedpair wrote:
       | Phew, managed to quit FB in 2009.
        
       | acoye wrote:
       | I quitted 8 years ago, banned in my personal DNS, never looked
       | back.
       | 
       | I use private chat apps to replace it, and full disclosure I
       | enjoy from time to time loosing some time on twitter.
       | 
       | INT-P speaking, this may be helping me.
        
       | djoldman wrote:
       | The uproar over and magnitude of digital ink spent on Facebook is
       | interesting.
       | 
       | This uproar seems to persist even if the discussion is restricted
       | to Americans who are adults and not using Facebook for a
       | commercial purpose (i.e. the use is for amusement or in free
       | time).
       | 
       | It seems to be a disconnect from the generally pro-free speech,
       | pro-personal liberty/accountability tone of HN.
       | 
       | Are HN'ers calling for regulating social media companies because
       | of toxic/manipulative/addictive free content served to adults?
       | 
       | If so, who gets to decide?
       | 
       | This discussion is separate from the monopoly power, anti-
       | competitive, anti-democracy angles, which are discussions all
       | their own.
        
         | bink wrote:
         | If the platform is controlling what you see or interact with
         | based on opaque algorithms does that really still qualify as
         | free speech?
        
         | hairofadog wrote:
         | Firstly, from my point of view they're already heavily
         | censoring content via their algorithm. Facebook hides posts
         | that decrease engagement and amplifies posts that increase
         | engagement. If the argument for _absolute free speech_ is that
         | misinformation should be fought with information (meaning, if
         | some folks are telling people to drink bleach as a cure for
         | covid, the remedy is to tell those same people _not_ to drink
         | bleach, and let the people decide for themselves), that 's
         | impossible what with Facebooks algorithmic censorship. It's
         | nearly impossible to reach those people, and it's not even
         | possible to even hear what argument they're receiving in order
         | to rebut.
         | 
         | Secondly, in terms of liberty, Facebook is a company doing what
         | they feel they need to do. What course of action, aside from
         | government intervention, would prevent them from removing posts
         | they thought were harmful? What would be the threshold for the
         | government to intervene in a web service's moderation policy?
        
       | 6gvONxR4sf7o wrote:
       | Imagine if nicotine had network effects (edit: I mean as strong
       | network effects as fb). You can't quit unless all your friends do
       | too. I hear some alcoholics have a similar challenge when their
       | social life revolves around drinking with peer pressure not to
       | abstain.
        
         | tombert wrote:
         | While it was fortunately never a problem for me (I've never
         | really drank a lot), when I did business travel for a living,
         | it was pretty common to go to bars after work and expense some
         | drinks to the company (the CEO knew about this, we weren't
         | breaking rules).
         | 
         | I remember thinking that if I were an alcoholic, this would
         | either be the best job in the world or the worst job in the
         | world, depending on your perspective. I can't imagine how much
         | harder it would be to actually quick full-blown alcoholism if
         | all the booze is free. Obviously you were _allowed_ to just buy
         | a soda or seltzer or something, and that 's usually what I did,
         | but I could totally see it being ten times harder to quit when
         | all your drinks are comped and all your peers are drinking
         | around you.
        
         | nonameiguess wrote:
         | It does. It's pretty common for friends groups to grow around
         | everyone at a school, a dorm, an office, that take smoke breaks
         | together.
        
           | wintermutestwin wrote:
           | True story: I once got a major promotion because the boss was
           | a smoker and he overheard me talking about coding - "oh, you
           | can code?"
        
         | BoxOfRain wrote:
         | >Imagine if nicotine had network effects. You can't quit unless
         | all your friends do too.
         | 
         | As a former smoker, it took me moving from an office full of
         | smokers to an office where I was the _only_ smoker to finally
         | motivate me to quit for good. I tapered down over about a year
         | with a vape though, and I think that almost has an anti-network
         | effect in that you kind of look like a bellend!
        
           | ugjka wrote:
           | Nicotine patches and Wellbutrin; I can be around 100 smokers
           | and not give a shit
        
         | speedybird wrote:
         | My father picked up smoking when he joined the Navy so that he
         | could participate in the smoke breaks. Fortunately he managed
         | to quit when he got out. I wager many started smoking for the
         | same reason, and never quit.
        
       | TheBozzCL wrote:
       | You know what worked for me to get rid of Facebook? I turned it
       | into a chore and eventually broke it.
       | 
       | When I deleted my old account and created a new one a few years
       | ago, I decided to run a little experiment: I started hiding
       | everything that was not posted directly by friends. "[unknown
       | person] posted on [friend]'s wall"? Hide [unknown person].
       | "[friend] liked a post by [some page]"? I hid that page. A friend
       | shared a post by someone or from a page? You bet I hid those too.
       | And the same for groups, events and so forth.
       | 
       | I did that a little bit every day, for 3 years, until Facebook
       | became pretty much barren. My friends only really post a handful
       | of things a day and the rest is just cruft. Around that time I
       | also discovered that Facebook started exposing who had uploaded
       | your contact info as part of a marketing list... so I started
       | leaving negative reviews and blocking those pages.
       | 
       | Does this sound like a total bore and a chore? Yes, yes it was. I
       | think I got it going for so long mostly out of spite for the
       | platform. Eventually, it got so bad that it started literally
       | breaking Facebook for me. Sometimes no posts would load at all.
       | Eventually, some of the hiding options stopped working! After a
       | year or so, the experience got so janky and unrewarding I just
       | deleted my account. I took the chance to get rid of Instagram and
       | WhatsApp as well, since this was around the time where the latter
       | started pushing for more telemetry.
       | 
       | I got most of my closer friends to jump on Telegram and Signal. I
       | do miss Facebook a bit, in that it's become harder to keep up
       | with some people that don't use other platforms... but not too
       | much. I'm setting up a blog for myself to share whatever I want
       | to write, my tech tutorials and maybe set up a photo gallery.
        
       | vishnugupta wrote:
       | What I noticed about my son's peer group is that FB just doesn't
       | occupy their mind share. It's mostly Roblox, Minecraft, Netflix,
       | YouTube or some other game.
       | 
       | FB may well be an addictive space now but I suspect its growth
       | has just about peaked. I keep hearing kids say that FB is
       | something adults use and hence isn't cool or trendy.
        
         | svachalek wrote:
         | Those sound like pretty young kids. Teens are more actively
         | seeking socialization, but they also gravitate to places adults
         | aren't. Unfortunately it doesn't sound like the new generation
         | of sites like Tiktok is any less insidious.
        
           | asdff wrote:
           | Among millenials at least in my experience it seems like once
           | parents joined fb it had a strong quieting effect almost
           | instantly.
        
         | suzzer99 wrote:
         | Unfortunately youtube is just as bad or worse than Facebook for
         | leading people down extremism rabbit holes.
        
       | btheshoe wrote:
       | It's not just Facebook, it's social media in general. More
       | precisely, it's infinite scroll, which has become a ubiquitous
       | design decision across social media. I recently finally succeeded
       | in developing a healthy relationship to social media, and it
       | involved disabling infinite scroll where I could (using
       | Hackernews, moving to old Reddit) and quitting the social media
       | sites where I couldn't (mostly Youtube). I'm scared to touch
       | Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter because the infinite scroll
       | mechanism is so addictive.
        
       | ramoz wrote:
       | The author who wrote this has tweeted, on average, 1-2x a day for
       | 10 years. https://twitter.com/jaronschneider
       | 
       | Twitter has by far become a more egregious platform for society
       | (an information/propagation architecture that exploits how people
       | process information, imo).
       | 
       | For me, Facebook is nothing more than a hometown forum. I havent
       | logged on in months.
        
         | afavour wrote:
         | > Twitter has by far become a more egregious platform for
         | society
         | 
         | I don't really see how that can be true when only 20% of so of
         | the population actually use Twitter. It's very small beans
         | compared to Facebook, or YouTube for that matter.
        
           | anonfornoreason wrote:
           | Policy makers, journalists, and educators tend to use twitter
           | pretty extensively. What happens on twitter affects the
           | worldview of just about every journalist out there. Don't
           | like the current ideological capture of journalism on both
           | sides of the US political spectrum? Blame twitter for a
           | significant portion of that.
        
         | BitwiseFool wrote:
         | >"Twitter has by far become a more egregious platform for
         | society"
         | 
         | Absolutely. Not only are the people on Twitter much more toxic,
         | the trending feed is way more prone to manipulation and
         | influence campaigns. If I don't know someone directly on
         | Facebook, I'm probably never going to see their stupid hot-
         | takes. No such separation on Twitter. Also, whenever I scroll
         | through Facebook, more than half the posts are advertisements
         | anyways. It rarely shows me anything of value from my friends
         | and somehow fixates on the same dozen people. Oddly, I was
         | never even very friendly with those dozen in real life.
         | 
         | People say Facebook is dangerous because people fall into a
         | loop of following content they already like and falling into
         | grouptthink. Firstly, how in the world does not apply more
         | strongly with Twitter? Second, on Twitter it is possible to
         | bombard non-followers with repeated, biased, and motivated
         | messaging. I think this is far more insidious because it
         | creates a false sense of consensus and you can condition people
         | to react a certain way with repeated messaging. And, these
         | users don't even need to actively follow the influencers'
         | accounts.
         | 
         | Edit: I don't even follow people like "Brooklyn Dad, Defiant!",
         | "Duty to Warn", or "Palmer Report", yet I am always seeing
         | content from these paid influencers whenever I click on a
         | trending topic. So imagine if you're not a partisan person and
         | you consistently keep seeing messages from these kinds of
         | accounts. Chances are, eventually, some of their tweets are
         | going to influence how you think and give you a biased view of
         | things.
        
           | npunt wrote:
           | I wouldn't take your personal experience on Facebook to be
           | universal.
           | 
           | Being a public social network, Twitter's toxicity and
           | distortions are much more visible than Facebook's, and the
           | user experience is far less varied because of common
           | touchpoints like Trending Topics and celebrity posters.
           | 
           | Facebook is a far more unique experience per user, so
           | personal experience isn't a great way to understand others
           | experience. A lot of Facebook's problems are related to the
           | network you've formed, on Pages you have to follow, or in
           | private Groups. Facebook also serves far more people and is
           | ubiquitous and worldwide in a way that Twitter just is not.
           | That's why you can't really rely on your own judgment of the
           | product and sort of have to fly on instruments (population
           | level data) to understand it. This is also why it's critical
           | to have researchers have access to that data to understand
           | what is going on.
        
             | BitwiseFool wrote:
             | I'm never logged in as a user and I don't have an account.
             | So I imagine what I see is likely what other people tend to
             | see if not logged in.
        
         | micromacrofoot wrote:
         | I feel like everyone ignores scale here. Facebook is an of
         | magnitude larger even before considering Instagram and
         | WhatsApp. They have nearly 3 billion active users.
         | 
         | Twitter is a fraction of the scale/influence, especially
         | outside of english speaking countries.
         | 
         | WhatsApp is the de facto communication platform in some
         | _countries_. Facebook _is_ the internet in some parts of
         | Africa. India has nearly as many Facebook users as the US has
         | adults in total.
         | 
         | Even if you don't use Facebook yourself, society around you
         | uses it... a lot... and that impacts you.
        
         | aaron695 wrote:
         | The greatest trick Twitter ever pulled was convincing the world
         | Facebook were the problem.
         | 
         | The entire world lives in an altered reality. Always have been.
         | Now you just say Facebook enough times and people believe
         | anything. We deserve what we've got.
         | 
         | Facebook even has a simple path to less toxicity _and_ seems to
         | have done it, Twitter has no other state than toxic. The
         | genealogy of toxic Facebook is also traced to Twitter.
        
         | PragmaticPulp wrote:
         | > Twitter has by far become a more egregious platform for
         | society
         | 
         | I'm always surprised that Reddit gets a free pass in these
         | discussions. Reddit has been home to some of the most egregious
         | bad communities and misinformation hives.
         | 
         | Their invisible-hand moderation system allows a small number of
         | moderators to completely control the conversation in a
         | subreddit. Banning dissenters and removing comments that don't
         | agree with what the moderators want people to see is an easy
         | way to make it look like everyone is in natural agreement on a
         | topic.
         | 
         | The weirdest part is that most tech people readily admit that
         | Reddit is full of terrible content, even on the front page. The
         | common retort is that it's not so bad if you create an account
         | and manually remove all of those bad subreddits from your list,
         | but by the same argument Facebook isn't a problem because you
         | can simply not subscribe to the bad content.
        
           | avgDev wrote:
           | I hate Reddit mostly for its hive mind.
           | 
           | For example: There is a video of someone blasting music and
           | neighbor clearly being upset. The offender calls the lady
           | Karen. Then, all the comments are bashing so called "Karen".
           | Even though many places in the US have laws in place to
           | prevent people from blasting music all day. Stating this
           | brings many down votes.
           | 
           | I had an awful neighbor in an area where houses are close
           | apart. He would get wasted, cut grass with a lawnmower and
           | blast music out of his car, which he could not hear because
           | of lawn mower. My windows would shake when I was trying to
           | study.
        
             | ferrumfist wrote:
             | Reddit is an amazing platform for niche hobbies and tech
             | forums.
             | 
             | It is fucking terrible for its political news. It's so
             | clearly biased AND it leaks into every default subreddit.
        
           | bink wrote:
           | I have a carefully curated list of subs on Reddit that are
           | well moderated and informative. There just isn't an easy way
           | to do that with Facebook or Twitter. Both of those platforms
           | will show me "related" content I don't want to see.
           | 
           | Reddit might do that with their app (I don't use it so I
           | don't know) but with a third party client or the old website
           | I can pretty effectively avoid trolls and nonsense.
           | 
           | It's a controversial topic but I personally think the
           | downvote makes a huge difference in my experience on social
           | media. You see it here on HN as well.
        
           | spookthesunset wrote:
           | > Banning dissenters and removing comments that don't agree
           | with what the moderators want people to see is an easy way to
           | make it look like everyone is in natural agreement on a
           | topic.
           | 
           | This happens way more than people know, by the way. Some of
           | the moderators on large subreddits are complete dicks to
           | people who go against the grain. Good luck appealing. All you
           | can do is create another account for that subreddit or just
           | never visit it again.
        
           | nonameiguess wrote:
           | Because there is no such thing as Reddit. Every sub is
           | different. SilphRoad and the fandom subs for Dark and Twin
           | Peaks were terrific communities when I participated there.
           | Hobbyist subs for modding PC cases and programming languages
           | have consistently great communities. Front-page Reddit is a
           | totally different animal, but assuming you can remember words
           | or deal with six bookmarks instead of one, you can go to the
           | specific subs you want without ever having to see the front
           | page at all.
        
           | harpersealtako wrote:
           | I think the hypocrisy isn't as much as you might think. Think
           | of it like this: Facebook is like Walmart, Reddit is like a
           | shopping mall. Malls and Walmarts have plenty of garbage
           | products alike, but at Walmart you HAVE to walk past garbage
           | to get to the thing you want, whereas at a mall you can just
           | beeline straight to the one store you want to go to.
           | 
           | I can't avoid things I don't want to see in facebook unless I
           | have zero friends and only subscribe to community topics
           | (eventually a friend will post a link or opinion on a topic I
           | don't want to see in social media), but if I literally only
           | care about pictures of bees, I can just exclusively follow
           | the pictures of bees subreddit.
        
         | mmarq wrote:
         | For me Twitter is a bit more than an RSS feed, I block
         | everybody who ends up in my timeline for no good reason. A
         | while ago I told Twitter I live in Germany, because I was told
         | they have to censor nazis down there.
         | 
         | It's way healthier than Facebook, where blocking the crazy
         | friend of your aunt may cause endless real life discussions.
        
       | Mikeb85 wrote:
       | I used to think so, now I'm living a more nomadic life. It's a
       | convenient way to text and call people when you don't have a set
       | phone number.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | m1117 wrote:
       | At least it's not as bad as opioids, actual smoking, gun violence
       | and sugar. Real problems that are neglected in America.
        
       | alchemyromcom wrote:
       | I personally found Facebook hard to quit, but not entirely
       | impossible. I would compare it to giving up cigarettes: not easy,
       | but I got through it. I am coming to terms with the fact that I
       | have have a very serious and damaging internet addiction,
       | however. Like many serious addictions, there's a lot of shame
       | attached to my real addiction, which is 4chan. 4chan is like
       | being addicted to heroin. Every day is a battle to look away from
       | the train wreck, and so far I haven't been able to overcome this
       | addiction in any meaningful way. What's interesting is that the
       | site doesn't use any of the scandalous techniques that facebook
       | is currently getting heat for, yet it has a grip on me that's
       | basically ruined my life as much as a crack addiction could ruin
       | a person's life. It's so bad that I've spent many years of my
       | life living in very close proximity to hard drug users, because
       | of the poverty my addiction has caused me. So, I guess what I'm
       | getting at is we might have a bigger problem than just facebook,
       | or at least I do.
        
         | robocat wrote:
         | Creating a 4chan support group for ex-users would be very
         | challenging.
         | 
         | How many other 4chan addicts do you know in person?
        
           | elliekelly wrote:
           | Even if there were a large number of 4chan addicts actively
           | in search of support any attempt to organize a 4chan
           | addiction group would be immediately trolled and ruined by
           | the rest of 4chan.
        
         | ryanianian wrote:
         | This got dark fast. Any behavior that is getting in the way of
         | daily life is an addiction. Doesn't have to be drugs or
         | gambling. Therapists have extensive training in coaching
         | patients out of these behaviors or at least better
         | understanding them. I hope you can find the help you need.
        
       | JoeAltmaier wrote:
       | Easy. It became so packed with fake posts and paid-for crap that
       | I got bored and quit oh, years ago.
        
       | Waterluvian wrote:
       | I want to thank my insufferable American aunt who did nothing but
       | spin every post and comment into being about her. Made it very
       | easy to quit about eight years ago.
       | 
       | Twitter is trickier. I actually enjoy the discourse (once I
       | figured out how to filter the loud angry idiots).
        
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