[HN Gopher] My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon...
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to
       Perform or Quit
        
       Author : posharma
       Score  : 354 points
       Date   : 2021-09-28 20:03 UTC (2 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.motherjones.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.motherjones.com)
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | ltbarcly3 wrote:
       | Obviously it is horrible to fire someone in these circumstances.
       | I wonder what I would do though? Lets say you have an employee
       | that is completely and totally incompetent, but their child has
       | cancer and will slowly die over the next two years. Do you just
       | be compassionate and try to minimize the harm having this person
       | around causes? What if you can't afford to keep an extra person
       | around? I don't think this as easy of a situation as I would like
       | it to be.
        
       | limeblack wrote:
       | The exchanges are much better then nothing but aren't great.
       | Alternative autoimmune disease so let's say diabetes(example IBD)
       | are not covered with out huge deductibles. I know because I have
       | experienced this.
        
       | mynameisash wrote:
       | I am quite pessimistic about Amazon and its influence, having
       | worked there for about a year. In my (admittedly jaded) opinion,
       | the company encourages this kind of dehumanizing behavior toward
       | people.
       | 
       | That said, this isn't new and it isn't limited to Amazon. My
       | brother died of cancer at the age of 10. My dad's manager gave
       | him a bad performance review and said that he let his son's death
       | affect his work. Other people where my dad worked were more
       | empathetic (though unfortunately, not in his management chain).
        
       | CoastalCoder wrote:
       | I read through the article. I really, really hurt for its author,
       | and pray that I never face similar circumstances. It sounds like
       | he's stinging from his manager not expressing enough empathy.
       | 
       | But with the information in the article, I don't really
       | understand what Amazon should have done differently.
       | Unfortunately the article was vague about just how much the
       | author was underperforming.
       | 
       | Also, while I'm no fan of Amazon, it sounds like they treated him
       | far better than the legally required minimum. They were paying
       | him _a lot_ of money to do something. When he wasn 't able to do
       | it, it's not like they fired him instantly; they even offered him
       | $30k of severance.
        
         | mrRandomGuy wrote:
         | A 'normal' company would understand that while a persons
         | significant other is dying of a cancer, their work output may
         | suffer as a result.
        
           | dkarl wrote:
           | I think if we're trying create a sane and decent society,
           | we're barking up the wrong tree by attaching basic human
           | compassion to employment, which is a bizarre choice that I'm
           | guessing can be traced back to ideological polarization in
           | the Cold War. The country wouldn't tolerate a completely
           | pitiless dog-eat-dog system, but private enterprise was
           | afraid of being exterminated if communism got a foothold in
           | society, and they agreed to take on the responsibility of
           | funding and administering the welfare state for everybody who
           | was employed, so the welfare state for everybody else could
           | be minimized and stigmatized. That's the just-so story in my
           | head, anyway.
           | 
           | As a result, we're in this absurd situation where the only
           | way to do the right and decent thing for a poor person
           | suffering a brutal personal tragedy is for them to get paid
           | $300k per year to do an incredibly rare-air information
           | economy job that they aren't actually doing.
           | 
           | I agree, Amazon has a responsibility to this person because
           | that's the system we've built. Amazon is reaping the benefits
           | of the system and shouldn't be allowed to dodge the
           | responsibilities. But my god, what an absurd system we've
           | built.
        
           | Jiro wrote:
           | If I was a plumber, and my wife was dying, and as a result I
           | was unable to repair plumbing, I would not expect anyone to
           | give me money to repair their plumbing, not even if I told
           | them my wife is dying and they should be sympathetic.
        
             | heavyset_go wrote:
             | Are you working as a contractor or employee?
        
             | silisili wrote:
             | This analogy would work if engineers were paid by some
             | metric like milestone completion. The vast majority are
             | not, but instead paid yearly. And if you want to be a
             | company people want to actually work at, you think of
             | employees as investments so it's some scope even beyond
             | yearly. A few months even of suffering performance is
             | nothing in the grand scheme of things to a company Amazon's
             | size. This is just cruelty for cruelty's sake.
        
             | louwrentius wrote:
             | You might work part-time and so balance work/income and
             | care.
        
             | zerr wrote:
             | Employment != Sole proprietorship. Employer != Client.
        
             | s5300 wrote:
             | Huh.
             | 
             | I have a friend who owns a pool cleaning company, commonly
             | known as pool routes. They contract a large amount of
             | mostly laborers, and give them clients to form a route in
             | which they go pool to pool to clean. 4-6 pools daily during
             | season to my knowledge.
             | 
             | A benefit these independently contracted pool cleaning
             | laborers get:
             | 
             | If you have any sort of personal or family health
             | emergency, other pool cleaners will pick up your route for
             | up to six months, with _fully_ paid leave, and your
             | position guaranteed whenever you 're able to come back.
             | 
             | And this is _just_ for cleaning pools.
             | 
             | You don't think plumbers and plumbers unions can do/deserve
             | something close to this or better? Sounds like an awful
             | world to live in if so.
        
             | rewma wrote:
             | > If I was a plumber, and my wife was dying, and as a
             | result I was unable to repair plumbing, I would not expect
             | anyone to give me money to repair their plumbing, not even
             | if I told them my wife is dying and they should be
             | sympathetic.
             | 
             | When I filed for paternity leave, I was paid quite a few
             | weeks for not working at all, because the country where I
             | live understands that workers are people who have lives and
             | struggle with major life events.
             | 
             | It saddens me that some of us are so driven by self-
             | contempt that don't realize they are far more than mindless
             | organisms in a big Borg collective, ready and willing to be
             | discarded whenever their productivity shows a drop.
        
               | hartator wrote:
               | > When I filed for paternity leave, I was paid quite a
               | few weeks for not working at all, because the country
               | where I live understands that workers are people who have
               | lives and struggle with major life events.
               | 
               | No country has this kind of benefits for plumbers who are
               | mostly independent.
        
               | rewma wrote:
               | > No country has this kind of benefits for plumbers who
               | are mostly independent.
               | 
               | How about Amazon SDEs?
        
               | ceejayoz wrote:
               | A plumber will presumably understand the nature of
               | independent contracting.
               | 
               | A salaried plumber employed by a larger plumbing company
               | would reasonably expect employee benefits.
        
               | [deleted]
        
           | judge2020 wrote:
           | But we don't know how much. What if they made one small bug
           | fix in a week? What if they literally did zero work?
        
           | nickff wrote:
           | The issue here _may_ have been that the manager had no
           | baseline of  'good performance' that they could expect this
           | individual to 'return to'.
        
           | rkk3 wrote:
           | He was offered a Family Leave option, but the details aren't
           | shared so it's hard to judge...
           | 
           | Terrible situation for the author, but expecting the company
           | to eat the 500k/year he was costing them doesn't seem fair
           | either.
        
             | relaunched wrote:
             | Companies employ people. People have problems. Firing
             | people, or forcing out people, when they have problems,
             | doesn't sound like a very good place to work.
             | 
             | It's very possible that the unspoken culture at Amazon is
             | work hard above all else. If you've read "The Everything
             | Store", there is a quote, something like, (regarding Bezos)
             | "If you're bad, Jeff will run you out of the company. If
             | you're good, he'll ride you into the ground." It also talks
             | about Jeff firing an early and long-time employee, he did
             | throw a party for him in Hawaii, because Amazon no longer
             | had a use for him. I don't know if either are true, but if
             | true, I could see that attitude creating an unspoken
             | culture of, "I don't care about your problems, we have work
             | to do. If you can't do it, we need someone who can." I can
             | also see how the success and the stock price, given the
             | commitment to work above all, reinforces that mentality.
        
               | gruez wrote:
               | >Companies employ people. People have problems. Firing
               | people, or forcing out people, when they have problems,
               | doesn't sound like a very good place to work.
               | 
               | Sure, it'd be great if my workplace kept paying me $300k
               | even if I was under-preforming because of personal
               | issues. However, how realistic is this expectation? Are
               | there any places that keep under-preforming employees for
               | half a decade, or more?
        
               | notJim wrote:
               | > Are there any places that keep under-preforming
               | employees for half a decade, or more?
               | 
               | Microsoft is often recommended for this, and some say
               | Google these days too :).
        
               | relaunched wrote:
               | Are you arguing that no tech company has employees in
               | most of Europe? It's very expensive to terminate people
               | for cause in Scandinavian countries, France and the
               | England.
               | 
               | Just because we don't do it in the US, doesn't mean they
               | aren't doing it.
        
               | kelnos wrote:
               | I expect that this is also why there are fewer tech
               | companies in Europe than in the US, and why software
               | developer salaries are much lower in Europe than in the
               | US. Companies can't afford to pay top dollar (er, euro)
               | when they have to hedge against being unable to fire
               | employees who aren't doing their work.
               | 
               | Not saying either situation is better or worse overall; I
               | expect there are winners and losers in both systems. Or,
               | likely more accurately, the European system creates few
               | big winners, but also few (or no) big losers, whereas the
               | US system gives you the opportunity to be a big winner,
               | but you could also end up homeless.
               | 
               | Personally I'm happy with how the US system has worked
               | out for me, but I'm sure there are some people who feel
               | the opposite.
        
               | notJim wrote:
               | Companies employ people _to do work_. That is the
               | fundamental nature of the relationship. Some leeway is to
               | be expected for temporary fluctuations in the work being
               | done. But in the long term, if the work is no longer
               | being performed at the agreed upon level, the company is
               | not obligated to continue paying the person.
               | 
               | In a sense, blaming the company becomes kind of a
               | distraction from the real issue, which is that in the US,
               | we have an extremely thin safety net. One of the reasons
               | getting fired from your tech job is so concerning is that
               | even someone in that job is only a few difficult
               | situations from utter destitution and homelessness. That
               | $4k/mo Seattle mortgage burns through your savings pretty
               | quick, and if you have assets of any kind, you won't get
               | any assistance from the state for disability. Even our
               | unemployment benefits won't keep you afloat for long.
               | 
               | We should be focused on making these things better, not
               | expecting companies to employee people who are unable to
               | work.
        
               | mindslight wrote:
               | A thousand times this. Expecting companies to be the
               | source of resources that smooth over personal problems
               | actually ends up disempowering workers, who then have to
               | abide by companies' policies to receive the benefit.
               | Imagine a similar family situation only the employee was
               | about to get fired for other reasons, and now their
               | health "insurance" has skyrocketed as well!
               | 
               | Rather than seeing companies as the reservoirs of wealth
               | that should be taking care of employees (eg this,
               | healthcare, parental leave, etc), we need to move that
               | wealth _outside of corporate control_ - through a
               | combination of higher compensation, better managing of
               | personal finances, catchall social safety net, etc.
        
               | relaunched wrote:
               | To your point, corporations would be happy to have the
               | government take over those functions. But, these are
               | solvable problems. For example, there is no doubt that HR
               | knew that long-term and short term disabilities were
               | options. Google has a death benefit for the spouse and
               | kids, under 21. Top tech companies that have money to
               | burn could probably figure out how to keep you on
               | insurance, as a benefit, during leave.
               | 
               | However, whether or not it's an employers'
               | responsibility, is a culture and values thing -
               | especially if the social safety nets are lacking.
        
               | notJim wrote:
               | If the company has benefits that are available, they
               | should definitely point the employee to them. That is
               | just the humane thing to do in my view. When I had a
               | death in my family a few years ago, I filed to use
               | vacation time, and my boss rejected it, because the
               | company had bereavement leave (I didn't know about it.)
               | That was the right thing to do, because it helped me take
               | advantage of all the available benefits.
               | 
               | And of course, if companies provide these benefits, that
               | is good, especially since they are absent from our
               | broader safety net. But keeping benefits tied to
               | employment has a lot of downsides, and we should try to
               | move away from that.
        
               | kelnos wrote:
               | > _corporations would be happy to have the government
               | take over those functions._
               | 
               | Is this really true? I would think so, too, but if it
               | were, wouldn't we see a flood of companies in the US
               | lobbying Congress to create a government-backed
               | healthcare option, or even single-payer? To the point
               | where it would have been done decades ago, right-wing
               | political ideology be damned?
               | 
               | The cynical part of me wonders if companies like the
               | current situation, since that gives companies more power
               | over their employees.
        
             | iamdbtoo wrote:
             | He mentions the family leave option would've left him
             | without any income. No one was asking Amazon not to eat his
             | whole salary, just not expect him to function exactly the
             | same as someone whose wife isn't dying from brain cancer.
        
           | geodel wrote:
           | A 'normal' company would give normal salary not these
           | outsized Software salaries.
        
           | lotsofpulp wrote:
           | I do not know what a normal business is, but this is a luxury
           | that a business with large margins and redundancies might
           | have. A 7 eleven franchisee is not going to be able to afford
           | that type of policy.
        
         | NBJack wrote:
         | I agree this seems to largely be a manager issue, though I
         | would go as far to say it's more prevalent in the company
         | culture.
         | 
         | That said, I also agree this isn't exactly fair on Amazon's
         | part as they were informed, up front, that this was an ongoing
         | issue. The picture this paints isn't then one of "they did
         | their best and were generous"; instead, it's one of "they got
         | what they wanted out of him." Note that by company policy, all
         | employees are given a max base pay of about $160k (including
         | Mr. Bezos himself, which they love to point out during
         | negotiations); the remainder of the $300k would have likely
         | been through stock options, which the author points out were
         | left behind during termination. Thus they were technically
         | paying him almost half plus whatever signing bonus was
         | negotiated.
        
         | illumin8 wrote:
         | I read the timeline and it seems like he started in mid-late
         | 2018, was having performance problems throughout 2019, and
         | didn't even get fired until mid-2020.
         | 
         | This is super generous, and while I have a lot of empathy for
         | his personal situation, I think he could have had a much
         | different outcome if he would have been more proactive about
         | managing expectations: - Amazon does have a bereavement benefit
         | that you definitely should take if you lose a brother like he
         | did. - There are many opportunities to get help from doctors
         | and medical professionals and document any disability you might
         | have, which can help accessing disability benefits - While
         | family medical leave is typically unpaid, if you are making
         | $300K a year and were presumably making a lot less before you
         | took the job, I think you can reasonably take a few months of
         | unpaid family medical leave knowing your job will be there when
         | you return.
         | 
         | I feel bad for the guy in this situation, but I think Amazon
         | was very generous and gave them every opportunity to perform.
         | How many years should a company wait for an underperforming
         | employee to perform?
        
           | ivraatiems wrote:
           | I'm not sure how it's done at Amazon - they are, after all,
           | notorious for driving employees hard - but my understanding
           | is that poor performance over a year or so is usually about
           | the point at which firing begins to be discussed at large
           | companies.
           | 
           | And the problem wasn't that he didn't want to perform or was
           | intrinsically a bad employee; the problem was that he
           | literally couldn't due to circumstance. It's not generous to
           | say "well, find a way to work through your wife's brain
           | cancer and we'll keep you on."
        
             | bloodyplonker22 wrote:
             | Many things wrong with your comment, starting with the fact
             | that firing beings to be discussed only after a year. It
             | actually begins to be discussed immediately after the
             | employee is assessed to be an underperformer. It's only
             | after a year of bad written performance reviews that they
             | can actually start to do something about it, such as put
             | the employee on a "PIP" or fire the employee.
        
               | majormajor wrote:
               | At the large company I was at firing wouldn't be a
               | conversation until at least one review cycle of poor
               | performance (every 6mo), more likely after two. The PIP
               | started at the same time as the firing conversation;
               | before that was time given for the employee and manager
               | to try to figure it out themselves. (Which maybe is what
               | you mean by "is assessed to be an underperformer," but
               | then doesn't disagree with the comment you're replying
               | to, really.)
        
               | ivraatiems wrote:
               | What were the other things?
        
           | SavantIdiot wrote:
           | > How many years should a company wait for an underperforming
           | employee to perform?
           | 
           | Perhaps wait until after their spouse has died and see if
           | they recover? Even the idea of an "underperforming employee"
           | is specious at best.
           | 
           | This is why I love Italy and France, it is night impossible
           | to fire someone for things like this from tech companies. Of
           | course, they also don't have to worry about going bankrupt
           | due to medical issues. They understand there is more to work
           | than meeting the numbers. It is something you spend 2/3rds of
           | your life doing, and other countries honor that.
           | 
           | [Oh, and also COBRA can cost $3000-$5000/month for shit
           | coverage. Once you run out of money, they come for your
           | stocks, retirement, and house. Source: I incurred over $100k
           | of hospital debt AFTER INSURANCE from an assault that left my
           | arm paralyzed. Why? If the hospital charges more than 125%
           | medicare costs for the procedure, my $700/month Gold Plan
           | didn't cover it. I was let go due to 6 months of absence from
           | work, and then while unemployed and needing physical therapy,
           | the hospital sent a request for tax statements and they began
           | the process of a lien against my property. A lawsuit
           | ultimately saved me, but if I hadn't been a victim, they
           | would have taken everything. Fucking american healthcare is a
           | joke.]
        
             | aborsy wrote:
             | This is simplistic. The situation in France and Italy can
             | be horrible in many other ways.
             | 
             | There are choices and trade offs. But don't think that
             | those regulations in France or Italy are rosy in every way.
        
             | majormajor wrote:
             | I've gotten a couple Cobra offers in the past few years
             | after leaving jobs, both of them with very solid to great
             | health insurance, and haven't seen a number higher than
             | $1k/month (101% or whatever of the employer cost). What
             | sort of insurance do you have to have to ask for
             | $3-5K/month? That would be 36-60K a year! I've never seen a
             | company paying close to that in benefits. And my current
             | employer has a "cost to employer" under $1k/month for
             | insurance.
             | 
             | Have I just gotten lucky with companies with good
             | negotiated deals? (The open exchange plans generally have
             | looked terrible compared to any group plan I've had in the
             | last 10 years.)
        
               | iammisc wrote:
               | I've not paid any more than 1k either.
        
               | kelnos wrote:
               | Is this for just yourself, or for you and dependents? I
               | went on a leave a few years ago, and COBRA was $700/mo
               | just for myself (and I'm sure premiums have gone up since
               | then). I could easily imagine that being $3k/mo for a
               | family of four. Maybe $3k-$5k/mo is high, maybe it's
               | normal, maybe my company has a good deal on insurance.
               | Who knows; the entire system is disgustingly opaque.
        
             | darkwizard42 wrote:
             | I don't even think you can get a Cobra plan for that much
             | money...was this for your whole family? You must have been
             | on the top tier program at your company...
        
         | goldcd wrote:
         | I came away with similar sentiments. I've absolutely no issue
         | with anybody criticising their employment practices in their
         | warehouses or delivery arms - especially the use of contracting
         | companies to isolate themselves from the questionable practices
         | that seem required to get the job done.
         | 
         | However, if they're paying you $300k to do a job, it strikes me
         | as fair that if you cease to do that job you get terminated.
         | Also that's enough money for you to have put in place your own
         | safety net if one wasn't provided by your employer in your
         | benefits.
        
         | iamdbtoo wrote:
         | Is letting a struggling employee underperform for a while
         | seriously not an option? At the very least, they could have not
         | made this man's last few years with his sick wife that much
         | more difficult because they require him to be functioning at
         | top performance all of the time.
        
           | s1artibartfast wrote:
           | It really depends on how much they are underperforming. Are
           | they late to a few meetings or not showing up for weeks
           | without making arrangements?
        
         | Justsignedup wrote:
         | He did give the hiring team a big heads up that he rather not
         | take the job than join Amazon. However the big issue is that
         | Amazon's HR could have done so many things differently:
         | 
         | - work with him to get on short term or long term disability -
         | work with him to figure out a way to take the time off that he
         | needed combined with getting back on track - don't judge him on
         | metrics he has no control over
         | 
         | Its a perfect combination of not giving a shit. I understand it
         | costs them money, but Amazon has the money.
        
       | lordkrandel wrote:
       | Wait a minute.
       | 
       | It's for this cases that universal healthcare paid by taxes
       | exists. I wouldn't blame it on your boss or Amazon. It's the USA.
       | 
       | A person should not depend on money or productivity to be cured.
       | 
       | And a company should not be liable to spend $300000 an year on a
       | non productive employee.
       | 
       | Which btw is about 9 years junior developer gross salary
       | equivalent in Italy.
        
         | javert wrote:
         | The current USA healthcare hellscape came as a result of an
         | attempt to implement universal healthcare that was derailed via
         | regulatory capture.
         | 
         | It's hard to see how you could implement universal healthcare
         | successfully in country like the US which has third-world
         | standards for corruption and democracy, and low average human
         | capital.
        
         | Stampo00 wrote:
         | They're both at fault since each side expects the other to
         | catch those who fall into this unfortunate situation.
         | 
         | The government should provide for people in this situation so
         | that if you lost your job due to the circumstances, it
         | shouldn't be a double-whammy that will sink the rest of your
         | life.
         | 
         | In the absence of a government safety net, the company should
         | pick up that slack if they value the employee more than the
         | cost of hiring and training someone new. In fact, it may be in
         | their best interest regardless, because loyalty among your
         | employees is a very expensive asset.
         | 
         | If two outfielders are running to catch a fly ball and then
         | both stop at the last second because they each think the other
         | one had it and the ball hits the ground, I'd consider them both
         | at fault.
        
         | gruez wrote:
         | At $300k/year, I think amazon is more concerned about the
         | salary going towards a non-productive employee, than whatever
         | money they're paying towards his health insurance.
        
           | dragonwriter wrote:
           | > I think amazon is more concerned about the salary going
           | towards a non-productive employee, than whatever money
           | they're paying towards his health insurance.
           | 
           | The _employee_ was concerned about costs, including uncovered
           | medical costs with insurance [0], which is why they didn 't
           | take family leave (which the US federally only guarantees
           | unpaid, and the state the employee was in has no state paid
           | family leave--though both his previous state and the one he
           | declined to move to for the job _do_ have paid family leave.)
           | 
           | So, both public health insurance policy and public employee
           | benefits policy in the US, as well as Amazon's particular
           | practices (employees aren't prevented from providing paid
           | leave or reduced demands without a mandate), are involved in
           | this case.
        
         | limeblack wrote:
         | So you are saying Medicaid/Medicare? Where do you put all your
         | money into a house?
        
         | AdrianB1 wrote:
         | > And a company should not be liable to spend $300000 an year
         | on a non productive employee.
         | 
         | Nor the taxpayer. It looks more like insurance than healthcare.
        
           | blocked_again wrote:
           | A good publicly funded health care system essentially work
           | like an insurance.
        
             | AdrianB1 wrote:
             | OK, give any example of such good public fund. There is
             | none, never was, never will.
        
       | stillbourne wrote:
       | This happened to me @ Charter. I'd been the primary caretaker for
       | both of my elderly grandparents. My grandpa died in 2017 and my
       | grandma passed in 2020. When she passed I was basically told
       | perform or quit with my boss yelling at me the whole time that I
       | wasn't making my commitments.
        
       | SergeAx wrote:
       | And this is why Amazon is a 1.6 trillion dollar company.
        
       | jimmaswell wrote:
       | > I'd never want him to go through it because it was so painful.
       | 
       | I never really sympathized with this train of thought. I see
       | nothing wrong with wishing equal pain on this boss who refused to
       | have any human empathy. Maybe he'd learn some needed humility.
        
       | MattGaiser wrote:
       | 1. How do other companies handle these situations? How do you
       | effectively handle an employee rendered unable to perform their
       | job due to tragedy? This came up with Atlassian a few weeks ago,
       | and they have a much better reputation than Amazon and it doesn't
       | seem like they handled things in a great way either. The reality
       | is that you might just need to terminate people who cannot
       | perform, no matter what the reason.
       | 
       | 2. I am obviously sympathetic to his plight, but at this point
       | Amazon has that reputation as a brutal employer. Every ex-
       | Amazonian I have known in real life has told me that the pay is
       | so that they own you, whether 3PM or 3AM and they have no qualms
       | about firing you (a former co-worker who was with AWS said that
       | if I ever take an AWS role, don't get a full year lease for a
       | condo in Seattle). Not to blame him, but it is unfortunate that
       | he didn't have someone who could advise him that taking a hard
       | job at a notoriously uncaring company with a sick wife would be
       | unwise.
        
         | joefife wrote:
         | Given that we gladly give 6 months paid maternity to those who
         | choose to have children, I'm fairly sure we'd give this chap a
         | break.
         | 
         | I cannot believe the inhumanity in this thread.
        
           | rmah wrote:
           | Most of the time on maternity leave is typically unpaid. If I
           | understand correctly, this guy refused to take leave on
           | reduced pay.
        
             | medvezhenok wrote:
             | Grandparent specifically mentioned paid leave. As far as I
             | know, many companies are now switching to 12-24 week paid
             | leave models for maternity/paternity leave.
        
             | bink wrote:
             | Everywhere I've worked in the last 10+ years has paid
             | maternity leave and most now have paid paternity leave.
             | They offered him unpaid leave.
        
         | CobrastanJorji wrote:
         | It varies wildly by manager.
         | 
         | When I was at Amazon, one of my coworkers had a serious mental
         | and physical crisis. Our manager went out of his way to support
         | them, granting them unlimited leave, accepting them back on a
         | part time / temporary basis whenever they felt up for it, etc.
         | To make this work, though, I'm pretty sure the manager and
         | probably his manager went around the system and basically
         | didn't report the absences, because corporate policy almost
         | certainly would've been to fire them. It effectively cost that
         | manager an invaluable headcount spot, and it went on for over a
         | year.
         | 
         | I generally hated working for Amazon, but I loved that
         | particular manager and would happily work for him again
         | anytime.
        
         | starbugs wrote:
         | You behave like a human being with feelings. You do the best
         | you can to support and help someone who suffers unbelievably
         | and you f**ing show some empathy. This involves actually
         | putting yourself in the shoes of someone else, yes. It means
         | that you share a part of their suffering.
         | 
         | You are dealing with a human, not a "resource" and not a
         | machine. It sickens me to read stories like that to the point
         | where I really consider stopping ordering anything from Amazon.
         | 
         | I hope this practice is going to backfire on them.
        
           | rmah wrote:
           | I understand your perspective, but... for how long? 1 month?
           | 6 months? 3 years? 10 years? At what point does basic empathy
           | turn into someone sponging off of generosity?
        
             | starbugs wrote:
             | One of my employees was suffering from lymphatic cancer. So
             | unfortunately, I have real life experience.
             | 
             | You support them for how long it takes. Period.
             | 
             | For my team mate, it took about 18 months until we could
             | slowly start to reintroduce him to normal working hours.
             | Even then, it took a couple of months until he was up to
             | speed again.
             | 
             | As soon as he returned to the office, I treated him as if
             | he was fully recovered to show him that we don't see him as
             | some kind of disabled person, because of his cancer
             | treatment. He recovered quickly and is now back to where he
             | was before he left for treatment performance-wise.
             | 
             | Every screening for remission has been an extreme burden
             | for him. Every time, I told him that even though I can
             | fully understand his fear, the illness doesn't exist for me
             | anymore and he is going to be fine.
             | 
             | 2 years later, he's healthy and provides more value to the
             | team than ever. We are all very thankful that he survived.
        
             | dlp211 wrote:
             | Fun fact, most people aren't lazy lay-abouts trying to con
             | employers into handouts.
        
           | asjldkfin wrote:
           | If I'm paying a person $200-$300K to build a house and his
           | wife gets cancer; it doesn't entitle him to keep my money. He
           | gives it back because he didn't do his job.
           | 
           | Same principle.
        
             | adt2bt wrote:
             | The analogy of a house is entirely incorrect - a house is a
             | one time transaction. Giving an employee space and support
             | during this time likely leads to loyalty and better
             | production in the long run. It also prevents articles like
             | this, which is probably worth the $300k, as even ONE
             | talented engineer turned off from joining Amazon due to
             | this article will cost them that much and more.
        
             | starbugs wrote:
             | This is actually _not_ about money. It 's about a human
             | life.
        
               | geodel wrote:
               | So why didn't this person simply leave Amazon's shitty
               | job and give some dignity to human life.
        
               | AdrianB1 wrote:
               | Because at the end of the day it is about money.
        
               | [deleted]
        
             | ivraatiems wrote:
             | It's not about "your rights", it's about "what's right".
             | Sure, you're within your rights. But when you're a
             | trillion-dollar-market-cap company, you can eat $300k for a
             | year and let the employee get through his grief and come
             | back to you.
             | 
             | Also, you edited your comment in a way that was deceptive,
             | and didn't say the reason for the edit -- but your
             | comparison is still flawed. $300k to you is pennies to
             | Amazon.
        
               | asjldkfin wrote:
               | It's not like Jeff Bezos personally fired him. His direct
               | manager is not working with a trillion dollar market cap.
        
               | ivraatiems wrote:
               | That's another dodge. His direct manager is acting on
               | behalf of the company, and in the interest of the
               | company. The company should have behaved better. His
               | direct manager also isn't paying the writer's salary out
               | of a personal bank account.
               | 
               | The point is that companies ought to treat their
               | employees with empathy even when it costs them. There are
               | reasonable limits to that, yes, but $300k for Amazon is
               | well within that bounds in my view.
        
               | asjldkfin wrote:
               | No, companies should treat its employees with well
               | defined policies that are easy to understand, enforce and
               | audit.
               | 
               | Treating employees with something as variable and open to
               | interpretation as "empathy" is what causes companies to
               | implode- because who defines empathy? Who defines where
               | the line is drawn? And why is it fair that some people
               | will inevitably get more empathy than others because
               | maybe the manager was having a good day and then a bad
               | day.
               | 
               | Don't take this the wrong way, but I assume you're
               | probably early enough in your career you never had to
               | manage people. But when you eventually do, try to
               | separate idealism from reality.
        
               | starbugs wrote:
               | Sorry, I am old and have more than 10 years of management
               | experience.
               | 
               | You can try to formalize human life with your rules for
               | the next 100k years and it will still not work. There are
               | things that are beyond words and beyond your and my
               | ability to "define".
               | 
               | I am afraid a lot of us have lost any of their inherent
               | common sense, because there was no policy for it.
               | 
               | This is not idealism. This is someone dying. And you are
               | talking about policies. Come on!
        
               | dlp211 wrote:
               | Which company imploded because of empathy?
        
               | ivraatiems wrote:
               | > No, companies should treat its employees with well
               | defined policies that are easy to understand, enforce and
               | audit.
               | 
               | These are not mutually exclusive things, much of the
               | time, but sometimes exceptions have to be made.
               | 
               | > Treating employees with something as variable and open
               | to interpretation as "empathy" is what causes companies
               | to implode- because who defines empathy? Who defines
               | where the line is drawn? And why is it fair that some
               | people will inevitably get more empathy than others
               | because maybe the manager was having a good day and then
               | a bad day.
               | 
               | This is a reasonable point, but it, again, does not
               | address my fundamental point: Amazon _as a company_
               | should have more ethical and empathetic policies. Amazon
               | _as a company_ should instruct managers to help their
               | employees and be willing to back that help up with
               | financial assistance.
               | 
               | Whether it's Jeff Bezos or this person's manager, you
               | seem to want to keep this at an individual level of
               | decision-making, but that's not the change I want to
               | make.
               | 
               | As for myself, I'm not a manager because I don't want to
               | be, and having to enforce policies I don't agree with is
               | one of the reasons for that.
        
             | oceanplexian wrote:
             | This is the right answer. Your safety net is your
             | responsibility, not your company's or the government's
             | (like it or not, this is the reality we live in today, in
             | the USA). Making the high income that he does, it should
             | have been trivial to save a few years worth of emergency
             | fund for exactly this situation. If he had made different
             | choices he would be able to take a year off and properly
             | take care of his family, not blame Amazon for his life
             | choices.
        
               | ivraatiems wrote:
               | It shouldn't be the reality in a society with the amount
               | of wealth ours has.
        
               | oceanplexian wrote:
               | If you make mid six-figures and can't put together an
               | emergency fund that is on you. He could have made
               | different life choices and spent time with his wife in
               | her last moments rather than slaving away at work.
        
               | s5300 wrote:
               | Cancer treatment often goes up over a million, sometimes
               | into _millions_
               | 
               | Perhaps you're unaware of that, but do you still expect
               | somebody making six figures to be able to have that
               | emergency fund just sitting around?
        
               | ivraatiems wrote:
               | I agree absolutely on the importance of an emergency fund
               | from a tactical, this is how society is perspective.
               | 
               | But I don't think it should be necessary and I don't
               | concede that that's the right way for things to work.
        
               | starbugs wrote:
               | Do you really think that this is about the money? This
               | man is losing his wife, he cannot think clearly, because
               | he loses the person he loves and has children with. He
               | may suffer from severe depression. I'd bet my right leg
               | that if he didn't need to, he would not think about money
               | for a minute. It also doesn't matter whether he should
               | have built up an emergency fund that can cover cancer
               | treatment expenses. He clearly has different problems
               | than that right now.
               | 
               | I can't comprehend how you can even talk about money
               | until you have helped that guy with all you have.
               | Clearly, Amazon is well enough equipped to first provide
               | support, then ask questions once a situation like that
               | has been resolved.
               | 
               | The way this is being handled is just wrong. You wouldn't
               | treat any of your friends or family members like that, so
               | why do it to your employee?
        
         | cameronh90 wrote:
         | I worked for a small company with very little spare cash and a
         | short runway when an enormous family tragedy struck suddenly.
         | They let me take a month off and accepted I wasn't quite at
         | normal levels of productivity for maybe a year afterwards. It
         | was tough, but they made it work.
         | 
         | If they could afford it, Amazon can.
        
         | ivraatiems wrote:
         | > Not to blame him, but it is unfortunate that he didn't have
         | someone who could advise him that taking a hard job at a
         | notoriously uncaring company with a sick wife would be unwise.
         | 
         | This is blaming him.
         | 
         | > The reality is that you might just need to terminate people
         | who cannot perform, no matter what the reason.
         | 
         | Or even better, give them a few months' leave at half or a
         | quarter salary, or at least let them keep their benefits. I
         | know, crazy to suggest we might put corporate profits over
         | helping someone in need, but you could give it a try.
         | 
         | Edit: Amazon did offer the employee family leave unpaid. It
         | wasn't workable and their response was that he should quit.
        
           | MattGaiser wrote:
           | I am not blaming him as I don't think he knew. He is not at
           | fault for not knowing. Just that for those who have heard
           | what Amazon is like, that this end result was predictable and
           | it is unfortunate that he didn't have that.
        
             | ivraatiems wrote:
             | "What did you expect from Amazon" is a fair point, but in
             | no way excuses Amazon whatsoever. They always have the
             | opportunity to be better.
        
         | ep103 wrote:
         | A normal company would recognize that the employee's hardship
         | is temporary, that treating the employee with compassion will
         | buy long term loyalty that will far outlast the lost-work of
         | the temporary hardship, and would treat the employee with basic
         | human moral emotion and empathy.
         | 
         | I broke my arm in a bad vehicle accident ~5 months into my last
         | work position. I couldn't code for ~2 months. I couldn't
         | commute into the office for another ~2 after that due to
         | personal fragility from the injuries.
         | 
         | My direct boss offered to come help me fix up my apartment in
         | case I couldn't reach things in my apartment. My employer
         | worked with me every step of the way.
         | 
         | I was so touched, having come from a 'fire first' mentality
         | shop before that, that I worked at that firm for another 7
         | years. I rose to a directorship, and ultimately ran half of
         | their engineering department. I worked countless nights,
         | because I cared. And when I did finally leave, having long
         | since outgrown the organization, I went to work for the boss
         | that had offered to help me rearrange the apartment.
         | 
         | Human empathy is basic, good business sense.
        
           | goldcd wrote:
           | I accept a slightly lower income from my employer, as I think
           | they're pretty generous in their flexibility. Over a decade
           | ago my father died and they just told me to take off whatever
           | I needed. I'm still with them and have seen them to be
           | sympathetic to my colleagues and even when laying them off,
           | have paid over the legal minimum. It's one of the reasons I'm
           | still working for them.
           | 
           | From a distance I know amazon are bastards, but pay more. If
           | I switched job, I'd just accept that some of that salary bump
           | needs to be put into personal insurance.
           | 
           | I'd have sympathy if amazon were knonw to be cuddly and
           | picked on this guy, or didn't pay him enough to...
        
         | louwrentius wrote:
         | It's so fucking simple.
         | 
         | Let them do their work as best as they can under the
         | circumstances. maybe allow them to work less hours / part-time
         | if that's what they need.
         | 
         | Really, work isn't all-or-nothing. Like either you do 60h a
         | week or you're worthless, that's just a typical American
         | cultural thing to make you a work slave.
         | 
         | A decent company accommodates people who have a spouse with a
         | terminal illness.
         | 
         | It's that simple. You treat people like fucking human beings.
        
         | aaomidi wrote:
         | > I am obviously sympathetic to his plight, but at this point
         | Amazon has that reputation as a brutal employer. Every ex-
         | Amazonian I have known in real life has told me that the pay is
         | so that they own you, whether 3PM or 3AM and they have no
         | qualms about firing you (a former co-worker who was with AWS
         | said that if I ever take an AWS role, don't get a full year
         | lease for a condo in Seattle). Not to blame him, but it is
         | unfortunate that he didn't have someone who could advise him
         | that taking a hard job at a notoriously uncaring company with a
         | sick wife would be unwise.
         | 
         | Make it illegal to companies to do this. Simple. Companies
         | operate within the laws of the society they're based in. If
         | Amazon doesn't like it they can take their bags and go
         | somewhere else.
        
           | sokoloff wrote:
           | If many companies are paying $100K/yr, is it really in the
           | public interest to prevent a hard-driving company from paying
           | $300K/yr to employees who want to sign up for that bargain?
           | 
           | If you don't want that bargain, don't take it, but I don't
           | see the public interest in blocking others who do want it
           | from taking it.
        
       | PragmaticPulp wrote:
       | A tip: If anyone finds themselves in a tragic situation like this
       | where they can't work but also can't afford to take leave,
       | investigate your short and long-term disability benefits ASAP.
       | Also read up on the documentation necessary to begin disability
       | claims.
       | 
       | Engage with a doctor early on who can document the severe
       | depressive symptoms that are preventing work (which the author
       | specifically cites in his anecdote). Do it as early as possible
       | to generate a documentation trail. Don't wait until you're close
       | to being terminated to begin documenting anything because that
       | will make the claim much weaker compared to someone with months
       | of doctor's notes documenting the situation.
       | 
       | I can't speak to Amazon's specific benefits, but most big tech
       | companies I've worked for have provided some base level short and
       | long term disability coverage as part of their core benefits,
       | partially to avoid situations like this where employees are
       | unable to work due to external circumstances but are unable to go
       | on leave.
        
         | marricks wrote:
         | Totally, with all the free time I have between performing at
         | work and caring for my dying partner I'll be sure to study
         | applicable law, meet with my doctor to get a note, then defend
         | myself to HR
        
         | CaliforniaKarl wrote:
         | Another HN user posted--and then deleted--this comment:
         | 
         | > I worry that many people in such a situation may not have the
         | right frame of mind to be able to find, read, understand, and
         | absorb what is normally quite dry reading material requiring
         | often ending in something requiring exceptional perseverance.
         | 
         | (I noticed because I was writing a reply.)
         | 
         | I think it's a good comment! And I think that is why you do it
         | now. It's just like how every flight begins with the safety
         | briefing. Learn your company's policies and procedures now,
         | when you don't need them. And refresh your memory regularly.
        
           | filmgirlcw wrote:
           | Absolutely! Know what your policies are as soon as you join
           | any company -- but this is triply true for a FAANG. All of
           | the information at a FAANG is in your intranet. As you say,
           | learn those policies and procedures now and refresh them.
           | 
           | I've made a lot of decisions that have been counter to my own
           | self-interest in my professional life (usually out of a
           | misguided feeling of loyalty), but I have been very good at
           | knowing policies and procedures (and for getting stuff stated
           | explicitly in my contract before signing anything) and it has
           | come in handy on a number of occasions.
           | 
           | Know your rights. And know them before you need to use them.
        
           | gruez wrote:
           | > It's just like how every flight begins with the safety
           | briefing. Learn your company's policies and procedures now,
           | when you don't need them. And refresh your memory regularly.
           | 
           | That's more of a consequence of how we're irrationally afraid
           | of flying than anything else. AFAIK you're far more likely to
           | die of a building fire than a plane crash, yet how many
           | people actually check their hotel's evacuation plan when they
           | first enter the room?
        
             | hnlmorg wrote:
             | Checking your hotels evacuation plan is something the guest
             | has to choose to do, which isn't the case with flight
             | safety briefings. Fire drills would be a closer comparison
             | with regards to fire safety.
             | 
             | As an aside, up until a few years ago I was one of those
             | people that did check hotel evacuation plans. I suffered
             | from a lot of habitual ticks back then though and I suspect
             | checking evacuation plans might have been one of them.
        
           | PragmaticPulp wrote:
           | That's actually misleading, but a common misconception: The
           | process is much less demanding than trying to continue
           | working a demanding job at Amazon, for example.
           | 
           | Disability claims are a common target for fraud and abuse so
           | getting some early documentation from a medical professional
           | is important. Engaging with medical professionals is
           | something anyone with debilitating depression should be doing
           | ASAP anyway, so it's not much of an extra step just for the
           | claim.
           | 
           | The rest can be started by calling the disability insurance
           | and asking about the process. Some company's HR teams might
           | even help direct employees to the benefit because they'd
           | rather retain the employee if possible and also use the
           | insurance for its intended purpose of covering periods of
           | disability (rather than firing the employee or paying for
           | someone who is unable to perform). YMMV with how much you
           | trust HR departments, though, so best to call the disability
           | insurance company first.
        
           | divbzero wrote:
           | Reminds me that I should send out a short "how to" guide to
           | my family on where and how to file claims for support. Makes
           | it easier to take action if needed with minimal mental
           | effort.
        
         | ucm_edge wrote:
         | Very much this. You always want to be asking HR for an
         | accommodation that is protected by law. Then HR enters into the
         | mode of protecting the company by ensuring they don't get in
         | trouble for violating the law.
         | 
         | You go in and say "Hey my wife is dying and my performance is
         | probably going to be impacted, can something be done?", HR may
         | opt to 'protect' the company by starting to build a case for
         | terminating a low performing employee.
        
           | tomhallett wrote:
           | Oh wow. This (especially with respect to the mental model of
           | the incentives for how a company works on the inside) should
           | be taught in school.
        
             | teekert wrote:
             | You mean as a way to show kids that no morality exists in a
             | context that allows one to be a faceless HR department?
             | Despicable.
        
               | vkou wrote:
               | You make not like how sociopathic bureaucracies running
               | society operate, but it's important to educate children
               | on how not to get screwed by them.
        
           | PragmaticPulp wrote:
           | > You go in and say "Hey my wife is dying and my performance
           | is probably going to be impacted, can something be done?", HR
           | may opt to 'protect' the company by starting to build a case
           | for terminating a low performing employee.
           | 
           | That's the cynical approach, but most companies don't
           | actually want to lose valuable employees. This is why they
           | have disability insurance coverage in the first place to help
           | cover those gaps (while having the insurance foot the bill).
           | 
           | Also, in this case the author says he voluntarily warned them
           | his wife was dying of cancer during the interview process. If
           | HR wanted to get rid of him for that, they would have simply
           | found an excuse to not hire him. Instead they gave him an
           | offer.
        
             | geofft wrote:
             | Companies don't "want" things. They do not have a single
             | will. Companies are agglomerations of many humans, who have
             | various wills and more importantly various incentives.
             | 
             | Same with "HR," and not only are there multiple people, in
             | large enough companies, there are fairly disconnected
             | _teams_ that handle the various parts of HR, like sourcing
             | candidates, making offers to candidates, supporting
             | managers, handling accommodations and keeping the company
             | on the right side of the law, overseeing budgets and
             | headcount. (If it helps, consider engineering, and the
             | statement,  "If engineering didn't want to move their
             | legacy services to public cloud, they would simply have not
             | signed a services contract with this cloud vendor in the
             | first place instead of wasting their money.")
             | 
             | It's entirely possible that every individual on the hiring
             | side genuinely wanted (of their own will) to hire this
             | person anyway, but none of them were the same people who
             | handle working with existing employees, who are all more
             | misanthropic, and they don't talk to each other. It's also
             | possible, and quite a bit more likely, that every
             | individual on the hiring side is incentivized to fill
             | roles, not to retain (how do you give someone an OKR or
             | performance bonus this year based on whether their hires
             | are still around three years in the future, anyway?), and
             | that every individual on the existing-employees side is
             | incentivized to demonstrate that they aren't coddling low
             | performers.
             | 
             | Being employed at a company is a business transaction. It's
             | not cynical to ask what the involved people's financial
             | incentives are and whether they line up with yours, any
             | more than it's cynical to expect that McDonald's will
             | refuse to negotiate on the price of a burger. Even if the
             | employee is nice, they've got a job to do, and they may not
             | be nice.
        
             | munchbunny wrote:
             | > That's the cynical approach, but most companies don't
             | actually want to lose valuable employees.
             | 
             | While an abstract rational actor like a company might come
             | to this conclusion, day to day line managers often do not
             | come to the same conclusions. A low performing employee
             | affected by personal issues is dead weight on said line
             | manager's budget and headcount, and therefore their metrics
             | and their own performance and promotion. The trickle-down
             | performance model often doesn't incentivize long-term-
             | focused management practices.
        
               | crispyambulance wrote:
               | Given that the employee was making ~300K, we can figure
               | that his manager is probably making 50% to 100+% more.
               | 
               | I find it mind-boggling that the manager could not find
               | it within himself to give some slack to the employee. I
               | guess maybe he didn't want to slow down the rate at which
               | he was pulling in F-U money.
        
               | sangnoir wrote:
               | > I guess maybe he didn't want to slow down the rate at
               | which he was pulling in F-U money.
               | 
               | Bingo! The manager's 10-30% bonus was on the line; and
               | they probably saw the stressed employee not quite through
               | a human lense, but was more of a broken cog that was
               | gumming up the works and tanking the manager's
               | metrics/KPIs.
        
             | j_walter wrote:
             | Most managers don't either and will deal with some amount
             | of loss of productivity...but part of that is also a
             | calculation of "how long will it take to train a new hire X
             | to do poorly performing employee Y's job" as well.
             | 
             | Now I've heard my fair share of people that claim "I was
             | fired because my kid was sick"...and that might have been
             | the final straw, but it was the other 7 unscheduled
             | absences in the last few months that were not covered under
             | family leave laws that were the major factor. Sometimes
             | managers can't wait to terminate those employees because
             | they weren't good anyway and they are just waiting for a
             | reason to fire them in an easy way.
        
             | m0zg wrote:
             | I actually wish more people got it through their heads that
             | HR _is not_ and _will never be_ their friend or savior.
             | Their only loyalty is only to the company, by design. There
             | are no exceptions to this that I have seen in 25+ years in
             | the industry. The extent of whatever help you might get out
             | of them is whether or not there's a risk that the company
             | would come out worse on the other end if that help is not
             | provided, such as, if you have a thoroughly documented
             | case, the law is on your side, and you're willing and able
             | to enforce your rights. If it's not documented or not
             | protected by law, you'll be screwed by HR 100% of the time.
        
             | loudtieblahblah wrote:
             | >That's the cynical approach, but most companies don't
             | actually want to lose valuable employees. T
             | 
             | Maybe.
             | 
             | But Amazon isn't most companies.
        
             | ucm_edge wrote:
             | No, some element of the people operation whose job
             | performance is in part judged on getting engineers through
             | the door wanted to hire him. Likely all that person cared
             | about was "This engineer will make it X months", where X is
             | based on if the employee separates prior to X the recruiter
             | gets yelled at for sourcing a bad candidate.
             | 
             | Other parts of the org clearly had no issues branding the
             | employee as a low performer and target for termination
             | because their performance reviews.
        
           | soperj wrote:
           | "May opt"? HR isn't there for you, they are for the employer.
           | Too many people confuse this. They will always protect the
           | company because that's their job.
        
         | codegeek wrote:
         | In the United States, here is a starting point for FMLA (Family
         | and Medical Leave Act)
         | 
         | https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla
         | 
         | You have to also check your specific state law and go from
         | there. I would google "FMLA <statename>" for example.
        
         | alberth wrote:
         | In the US, the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) provides
         | certain employees with up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected
         | leave per year. It also requires that their group health
         | benefits be maintained during the leave.
        
         | loudtieblahblah wrote:
         | gotta love that to engage with stuff like this we need to
         | navigate a Brazil level of bureaucratic bullshit to cover our
         | asses.
         | 
         | Go to the therapist a bunch, create a paper trail, dig through
         | fine print of short/long term leave..
         | 
         | as if the guy wasn't deal with enough between his work and wife
         | as it was.
         | 
         | it's just sad that to find a way to best help yourself, you
         | must suffer more, shoulder more, have more chewing up your time
         | and limited ability to deal with mounting stress.
         | 
         | and people wonder why random people snap and blow away 15
         | random people at their office.
        
         | [deleted]
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | iJohnDoe wrote:
       | This isn't surprising. People in work environments are just
       | people. Most of them might be below average intelligence.
       | 
       | What's terrible is that no one else at Amazon helped to fix this
       | situation? I understand most HR people are toxic. But no
       | executive or anyone higher up thought this situation was wrong?
       | Absolutely no one wanted to stick their neck out to do the right
       | thing? This tells you everything you need to know about the
       | corporate environment.
        
       | madrox wrote:
       | What sucks about stories like this is, while my heart breaks for
       | what this guy went through, managers don't have the same luxury
       | of defending their side of the story to Mother Jones.
       | 
       | I worked as an EM at Amazon. I went into this ready to think he
       | had a bad boss (because those definitely exist at Amazon), but
       | after reading this I feel like there's another side to this that
       | has more compassion than is being reflected here. He was at turns
       | informally warned, encouraged to take leave, and offered
       | severance. It sounds like he expected a pass on all this for his
       | life circumstances until it was too late. Without more details
       | from both sides as to what the performance issues were, this
       | reads as using a tragedy to get more than he's owed.
       | 
       | I can't even imagine what this guy went through. He had to watch
       | his wife slowly die while raising two girls and providing for his
       | family. Watching my father die from cancer after a long life was
       | awful enough and affected me for years. His grief has to be
       | phenomenal. I imagine part of his grieving process is lashing out
       | at his boss for not being more understanding. That said, I think
       | his story would be the same no matter where he worked. It's just
       | more in vogue to bash Amazon.
       | 
       | If he wants to lash out at anything, I suggest lashing out at a
       | system that requires us to work while going through such awful
       | life circumstances. That man shouldn't have had to work. He
       | should have been safe to be unemployed while focusing on being
       | there for his family. The idea that he felt compelled to work to
       | avoid his family going bankrupt is lunacy to me.
        
         | dml2135 wrote:
         | I would be more apt to share this opinion if not for the fact
         | that he says he specifically warned Amazon that his wife had
         | brain cancer when they began trying to recruit him.
        
           | triactual wrote:
           | So you would want Amazon to pass him over because his wife
           | has an existing medical condition? That would be a good
           | article too.
        
           | m0zg wrote:
           | > warned Amazon that his wife had brain cancer when they
           | began trying to recruit him
           | 
           | Not to defend Amazon, god forbid, but I'd be surprised if
           | this actually reached the people who would be able to make
           | decisions about this either way. Recruiting gets paid per
           | head. They got a head. What happens next is of no interest to
           | them whatsoever.
        
         | gkya wrote:
         | Fuck managers' side of the story.
        
       | msarrel wrote:
       | I'm disappointed at how widespread this seems to be.
       | 
       | My mother died earlier this year. When I asked my boss at our
       | series b startup for leave her response was, "do you really need
       | this much time, its the end of the quarter." I told her that I
       | did actually want 2 weeks to grieve the loss of my mother and she
       | never responded. When I returned to work, she had never told HR
       | that my mother died. HR didn't understand why I was absent for 2
       | weeks. I decided to resign and not work with people who behave
       | like that.
        
         | drdeadringer wrote:
         | Assuming you told HR that your mother had died as to the why,
         | how did HR respond given their ignorance of your situation?
         | 
         | Note: Condolences for your loss.
        
       | mgh2 wrote:
       | It hard to hear these stories, but necessary to warn future
       | employees about it https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28555480
        
       | PerkinWarwick wrote:
       | You know, I don't doubt that Amazon is a bunch of bastards, but I
       | can't say that any company I have worked for ever did much for
       | employee tragic circumstances. They were just more polite about
       | it.
        
       | friedman23 wrote:
       | You would think with how huge and renown amazon is as a company
       | they would have their pick of top engineers. It's not the case.
       | None of my friends that work in Facebook, Google, Microsoft, and
       | other unicorns even consider applying to Amazon on their job
       | search. It's actually pretty comical, I have no idea where Amazon
       | gets their talent pool from.
        
         | psyc wrote:
         | Eh, not so fast there. Perhaps that talent pool is larger and
         | more diverse than you realize. It's entirely possible that I'm
         | out of touch now, but when I was at MSFT 10 years ago, there
         | was a steady flow of top talent to Amazon. All the people I
         | knew who went over were sort of the way-overachiever type who
         | wouldn't mind being punished (and rewarded) by an employer.
         | They were single, male, career and status obsessed. Also among
         | the best developers and managers I worked with. FAR from the
         | bottom of the barrel. I myself declined all invitations to come
         | over, but people want different things from their jobs. I liked
         | the ability to hide and coast in relatively slow-moving MS.
        
           | friedman23 wrote:
           | 10 years ago their abusive workplace culture was not nearly
           | as well known as it is now and also the possibility of
           | massive stock appreciation isn't as likely either given sky
           | high valuations. I see no reason why someone would choose
           | Amazon over a unicorn or any other FANG company which offers
           | much better work life balance.
        
             | psyc wrote:
             | I agree with all this. Heck, I even agreed 10 years ago.
             | I'll only say that those people I knew seemed almost
             | attracted to the abuse, as though they believed it would
             | help make them wealthy. (They did all become millionaires,
             | but you're right that they could have done so at many other
             | companies.)
        
         | w0mbat wrote:
         | I agree. I have worked for a lot of FAANGs and nobody I knew
         | ever went to Amazon.
         | 
         | I was partway through agreeing to an interview request from
         | Amazon last year when my research turned up how stingy their
         | 401k match is. Similarly their stock vesting schedule is awful
         | compared with everybody else.
         | 
         | It's not that I desperately needed that extra bit of money on
         | top of the perhaps generous salary (no sum was named).
         | 
         | It's that being stingy about that stuff indicates to me that
         | they will be less than generous in every possible situation,
         | say if I need time to deal with a health issue or a family
         | emergency.
        
         | anonymousDan wrote:
         | Maybe your friends at Facebook, Google and Microsoft aren't
         | such special snowflakes and in fact there are plenty of
         | engineers around good enough to do the job? Don't mean to sound
         | harsh but it's not like working at any of the above companies
         | instantly makes you some kind of Einstein.
        
           | friedman23 wrote:
           | I don't know why anyone good enough for the job would choose
           | to work somewhere as abusive as amazon.
           | 
           | Also, there is no need for insults, don't spread your abusive
           | workplace online please :)
        
             | anonymousDan wrote:
             | Well say that then. I certainly don't work for Amazon (or
             | ever intend to)!
        
       | dvt wrote:
       | I wish we had a #MeToo for horrible corporate environments.
       | Amazon is an atrocious place to work at, and even though I'm no
       | fan of cancel culture, if any case begs for naming and shaming,
       | it's got to be this one. There _are_ people that make these
       | decisions. Amazon isn 't some "monolith" where no one has free
       | will. That argument didn't work for WW2 Nazi guards, so why
       | should it work here? "Just following orders" isn't good enough.
       | 
       | I've been approached _dozens_ of times by Amazon -- by
       | recruiters, but even by _hiring managers_ -- and I 'm sure I'd
       | get paid a ton. But I could never morally justify working for
       | such a garbage company in 1000 years.
        
       | almost_usual wrote:
       | I really don't understand why people work for Amazon. Low ball
       | offers and long work hours. No thanks.
        
         | dlp211 wrote:
         | Amazon still pays better than a lot of companies. If you are
         | choosing between Google and Amazon, yea, it's pretty much an
         | easy decision, if you are choosing between some mid-sized B2B
         | tech company and Amazon, not so easy a decision any more (or it
         | is and it's tilted in Amazon's favor).
        
         | sokoloff wrote:
         | The linked article is about an Amazon employee making $300K in
         | Tennessee (far from a high-cost area in the US).
         | 
         | That is a 99th percentile salary and 97th percentile household
         | total income for TN.
        
       | Traubenfuchs wrote:
       | I don't understand how someone smart enough to make 300.000 a
       | year (That is an insane fortune to almost everyone, even in first
       | world countries) feels entitled to a month-, year-long reduction
       | of performance expectations because of personal tragedy.
       | 
       | There are thousands waiting for his position and they would kill
       | to get it.
        
         | sundaeofshock wrote:
         | You are a horrible human being.
        
         | outworlder wrote:
         | > That is an insane fortune to almost everyone
         | 
         | Pfft. No it isn't. It just illustrates how badly underpaid some
         | sectors are.
         | 
         | The author seems to have been in a bit better position by not
         | relocating to a high cost of living region. Still, when the
         | "American Dream" term was coined - decades ago - the wages were
         | much more "insane", as you put it. Even minimum wage could
         | support a couple with a child above the poverty line.
         | 
         | 300k a year (before taxes) likely can't even pay for his wife's
         | healthcare, if he were to pay out of pocket (due to losing his
         | job).
         | 
         | > There are thousands waiting for his position and they would
         | kill to get it.
         | 
         | Not really. There are companies that pay even better, for a
         | similar amount of effort, and better policies.
        
         | retrac wrote:
         | It seems no more entitled than expecting health insurance or
         | personal disability leave to me. Nearly all of us will face a
         | few personal derailments that leave us unable to function much
         | at some point in our lives. We could recognize that fact and
         | mutually insure each other against it. Or we could just throw
         | each other to the wolves? Do you want a cut-throat hellhole
         | that will dispose of you as soon as possible, or just a nice
         | place to work? Most of us want the latter, I think. Probably
         | shouldn't be up to the employer like this anyway. The public
         | employment insurance in my country covers partial pay for up to
         | a year to look after a dying relative.
        
         | ivraatiems wrote:
         | Human beings are entitled to a little empathy from other human
         | beings.
        
         | jen20 wrote:
         | I don't understand how a company who has been paying someone
         | 300,000/year (not a fortune for a FAANG, in the slightest) does
         | not understand that by acting this way, they guarantee they
         | will lose an employee when the situation is over, vs gaining
         | loyalty from them.
        
           | adt2bt wrote:
           | Not only lose an employee, but lose future employees as well.
           | I'll never work for Amazon because of this crap, and I know
           | I'm worth well more than $300k/year to them.
        
           | slothtrop wrote:
           | Loyalty is a farce, there is none. And the vast majority of
           | FAANG employees are replaceable.
        
             | almost_usual wrote:
             | Not really, compensation is off the charts right now.
        
           | johncessna wrote:
           | Companies, and Amazon isn't alone in this, don't care about
           | employee loyalty. They will all hem and haw about giving
           | someone making a 100k a 5% raise and talk about how they
           | can't do a raise that 'high' but when that employee leaves,
           | they'll backfill their replacement at 120k.
           | 
           | Yes, 300k is a lot of money, but for better or worse, a US
           | based L5/6 at Amazon is just another cog in the wheel. They
           | probably fired 100 or so of them the day this person was
           | fired, and the following Monday, another 100 started.
        
         | mrRandomGuy wrote:
         | God, sometimes reading the comments on this website makes me
         | want to burn my eyeballs off. Like, why is there such a large
         | chunk of people who literally go to bat for such shit
         | practices?
        
           | badpeoplehere wrote:
           | It's an offshoot if the culture of YC, the mods and Paul
           | Graham. This place collects reactionaries, racists,
           | sexists... above all else it's people who worship
           | billionaires. It's a disgusting pit of the tech industry and
           | the site owners _encorage_ this behavior by moderating away
           | anyone who has even an ounce of humanity. No doubt you'll get
           | scolded if you keep pointing out how obviously horrible this
           | "community" is.
        
       | ldjkfkdsjnv wrote:
       | Believe it or not, this isn't a rare attitude among managers at
       | Amazon. A significant percentage of SDMs believe they must "keep
       | a high bar" and remove any dissenting subordinates. Word has
       | gotten out about it, mostly on the blind app, which forced Amazon
       | to raise pay bands for engineers 50-100k. This is costing the
       | company a lot of money.
       | 
       | The difference going forwards for Amazon is that the stock is
       | mostly stagnant, and so employees are no longer putting up with
       | miserable harsh working conditions, the financial incentives are
       | no longer there.
        
         | mataug wrote:
         | The reality is that the SDMs are cogs in the machine as well.
         | 
         | If a director asks the SDM why an employee isn't performing,
         | and the SDM responds with any reason that doesn't support the
         | organisation's goals, the director / VP is going to ask the SDM
         | to get rid of the employee to meet Amazon's infamous URA
         | quota[1]. If the SDM refuses, they are going to find another
         | SDM who will do the job.
         | 
         | At the same time, the following is also true
         | 
         | > A significant percentage of SDMs believe they must "keep a
         | high bar" and remove any dissenting subordinates.
         | 
         | > The difference going forwards for Amazon is that the stock is
         | mostly stagnant, and so employees are no longer putting up with
         | miserable harsh working conditions, the financial incentives
         | are no longer there.
         | 
         | This is why Amazon is now importing a lot of international
         | engineers, especially from Amazon India. Employees on L1 visa
         | can't refuse the harsh working conditions, unless they are
         | willing to take a huge pay cut and move back.
         | 
         | [1]: https://archive.is/44DyG
        
         | ActorNightly wrote:
         | While what you say may be true, I urge everyone reading this
         | thread not to make personal opinions solely on stuff posted
         | online that does not have hard evidence associated with it.
        
         | debacle wrote:
         | What is the blind app?
        
           | ctvo wrote:
           | One of the most toxic environments on the internet, filled
           | with people who define themselves by their employment at big
           | tech, and how large their salaries are. Think WallStreetBets
           | meets tech but with less self-deprecation and emotional
           | maturity, if you can imagine it.
        
           | pabl8k wrote:
           | It's a forum for people at tech companies to anonymously talk
           | to other people at their companies in a private forum, or
           | with people at other companies publicly to all members. They
           | validate employment using your email address. As could be
           | expected many of the topics devolve into toxic messes, but
           | there is some useful discussion.
        
             | ajb wrote:
             | Only available to people in the US and South Korea at the
             | moment, apparently.
             | 
             | A pity, but I guess they need lawyers in every country they
             | do business in.
        
             | jasonladuke0311 wrote:
             | Yep. It sucks in many, many ways, but it also is full of
             | info on negotiation, interview processes at many companies,
             | and salary/offer sharing.
             | 
             | I had no idea how much more money I could be making until I
             | signed up there. Deleted the app as soon as I signed an
             | offer sheet.
        
           | [deleted]
        
           | friedman23 wrote:
           | teamblind.com
        
           | shreyansj wrote:
           | teamblind.com
        
           | enra wrote:
           | It's 3rd party app that you can join your company's forum if
           | you have an email address with the company domain.
           | 
           | It's like Nextdoor but for employees of a particular company
           | where people can vent, spread rumors, and at times share
           | useful information.
        
           | [deleted]
        
         | seattle_spring wrote:
         | In my ~15 year career I've met a _lot_ of people that have gone
         | on and worked at almost every big company imaginable. For some
         | reason an outsized amount of people that I hated working with
         | ended up as SDMs at Amazon. The list of people I hate is very,
         | very small too, so it seems like more than a coincidence.
        
           | darkmarmot wrote:
           | For me the high correlation seems to be with Facebook.
        
             | w0mbat wrote:
             | Yeah me too. All the assholes went to Facebook. Only one
             | person I like went there, and he quit.
        
         | twalla wrote:
         | One of the things I do to get Amazon recruiters to leave me the
         | hell alone is to respond to their emails with a link to the
         | most recent public AMZN snafu and urge them to quit - it's
         | funny/sad how each time I respond I can quickly find 3-5 new
         | links no more than a few months old.
        
           | mabbo wrote:
           | A thought: be nice to recruiters. They're generally nice
           | people who are underpaid for the work they do (usually).
           | They're in a really tough business.
           | 
           | And if you want a selfish take: Maybe today they're working
           | for Amazon, but tomorrow they may be doing the same job at
           | your dream company. They have too many people to try reaching
           | out to, and they may remember your name.
        
             | erikerikson wrote:
             | +1
             | 
             | For years I asked them to put me on their do not contact
             | list. I eventually asked someone with authority. Whenever I
             | am still contacted by managers, I simply forward that email
             | with a polite note to that stakeholder. I get apologies and
             | they get a lesson in their responsibilities from someone to
             | which they are liable.
        
           | radicalbyte wrote:
           | I just tell them how much it would cost to get me to up and
           | move to Canada or the US to work for them, just to be equal
           | to my situation here in Europe.
           | 
           | That usually stops them pretty quickly :)
        
             | xtracto wrote:
             | Haha, this is the way.
             | 
             | Over the last 2 years I started to receive a lot of
             | unwanted recruit spam both in my email and through
             | Linkedin. I used to ignore them and get angry. Now my
             | response is quite straightforward: Sure, I am happy to talk
             | if you can offer me $250,000 USD, Work from Home (I live in
             | Mexico) and X, Y, Z benefits that I currently have.
             | 
             | This also applies for the ones that want to have a call to
             | you for a "mysterious client" ( particularly for exec
             | positions), usually just wasting your time. You are the one
             | that contacted me, if you want to get my time better be for
             | something good. It usually isn't.
        
         | mabbo wrote:
         | I think there is some selection bias in this. And I say this as
         | someone who has recently quit working at Amazon (after many
         | years there).
         | 
         | People who get fired are far more likely to leave reviews on
         | blind. And the whole performance improvement plan process that
         | proceeds being fired takes place between the employee and the
         | SDM.
         | 
         | It may be the case that their org leadership told the SDM to
         | cut their lowest ranked person to make the org's "Unregretted
         | Rate of Attrition" quota for the year. From the employees point
         | of view, this was purely some kind of malicious move by a
         | terrible SDM. In reality, it's an SDM who wants to keep their
         | job in a sociopathic system that enforces minimum rates of
         | firing people to "keep the bar high".
         | 
         | Salaries are rising for engineers across the industry, in part
         | because of the 'great resignation' going on. Make no mistake:
         | Amazon would not raise salaries because of angry reviews on
         | Blind. They would only raise wages if they saw too many people
         | choosing to quit or not accept job offers in favour of other
         | companies. Probably entirely based on a formula that used those
         | numbers as inputs.
        
           | rewma wrote:
           | > People who get fired are far more likely to leave reviews
           | on blind.
           | 
           | It is said that the average tenure at Amazon is two years. By
           | your measuring stick, a company that is a revolving door does
           | have the nasty tendency to leave a lot of its employees with
           | plenty of reasons to complain.
        
             | ctvo wrote:
             | There's nothing extraordinary about Amazon having a 2 year
             | tenure average. Here's a somewhat dated (I'd guess it's
             | gotten even shorter since) article from 2018 listing many
             | more company tenures:
             | 
             | https://www.inc.com/business-insider/tech-companies-
             | employee...
             | 
             | There are many known companies with ~2 years give or take.
        
           | [deleted]
        
       | JohnBooty wrote:
       | This happened to me, as well. Not my wife and not Amazon, but
       | actually a handful of family members dying over the last year.
       | 
       | On one hand I completely understand my employer. Unlike Amazon,
       | they do not have Amazon-style money. They are fighting to
       | survive. Like the author I am not sure what they _should_ have
       | done for me.
       | 
       | During the conversation where I was terminated, I told my boss I
       | understood their position. They needed performance above all
       | else.
       | 
       | But, combined with the company's meager retirement plan, meager
       | health insurance, and stingy PTO that barely covers a couple of
       | funerals each year.... I said who the fuck are you trying to
       | hire, here? Exclusively people... without families? Are you
       | trying to hire typical human beings or what? Or strictly
       | obsessive coders who do nothing but code all day and don't have
       | families and don't need PTO?
       | 
       | "I don't think those kinds of guys exist any more," he said.
       | 
       | "Well maybe you should build a fucking company for the other kind
       | of person then, huh?" I said.
       | 
       | He had no answer.
        
         | gruez wrote:
         | I don't get it. Are they also having a hard time hiring people
         | or something? As for your premise of "who the fuck are you
         | trying to hire, here? Exclusively people... without families?",
         | I don't see weird about that. If you're a company of a dozen or
         | so people, it doesn't seem too hard to find a bunch of 22-30
         | year olds with very little commitments.
        
           | JohnBooty wrote:
           | I don't get it.
           | 
           | Understandable. There was a lot of context I left out because
           | it wasn't too interesting and I wanted to keep things under a
           | billion words so I just mentioned the similarities with the
           | linked article.                   As for your premise of "who
           | the fuck are you trying          to hire, here? Exclusively
           | people... without families?",         I don't see weird about
           | that.
           | 
           | Yes, they are having a difficult time finding and keeping
           | people, particularly experienced ones.
           | 
           | The product involves a large-ish amount of customer data, and
           | our experience was that recent grads and "people that just
           | did a 4-week 'Code Camp' style course" are particularly
           | unsuited for that kind of work: they can write basic CRUD
           | till the cows come home, but they know nothing about
           | performance/scaling.
           | 
           | (Best-case scenario: they _know_ they know nothing. More
           | typical scenario: they _think_ they know...)
           | If you're a company of a dozen or so people, it
           | doesn't seem too hard to find a bunch of 22-30          year
           | olds with very little commitments.
           | 
           | Depending on your jurisdiction it's likely downright illegal
           | to discriminate against employees or prospective employees
           | based on them having families.
           | 
           | But even from a pure self-interest standpoint, if you're
           | strictly hiring people without families you're ignoring a big
           | chunk of the talent pool and if a company's having problems
           | hiring, perhaps that's something that should be re-evaluated.
           | 
           | FWIW, note that I am using "family" here to mean "having any
           | family members whatsoever" -- I'm not just talking about
           | people with children. I don't even have children, myself. But
           | I have family. They die, get married, etc.
        
       | 2OEH8eoCRo0 wrote:
       | That's horrible.
       | 
       | I have one question for HN: Why do you all still use Amazon?
        
       | gnabgib wrote:
       | I remember this being posted as an Ask/Tell HN message a few
       | weeks back.. although several people suggested at the time he
       | might want to delete, since it could complicate things for him.
       | (Which seems to have happened) It's a bit meta for an HN story to
       | come back to HN.
        
       | cratermoon wrote:
       | https://www.instagram.com/p/CUX9UZ1pfEk/
        
       | gkya wrote:
       | Reading the comments on this topic, I can't but feel validated
       | for having quit my programming career right as it started.
       | 
       | You lot sound so absorbed into your privilege that you can't even
       | begin to think about the human side of the story, and it really
       | shows that your "oh I can't begin to imageine how hard this is
       | but..." is performative. It shows that you never really had to
       | deal with this sort of stuff, be the person responsible to assist
       | a loved one thru their hard and/or terminal times. You really
       | can't but show how far removed from human suffering you are. A
       | hive of young able-bodied economically privileged people.
       | 
       | But, programmers are increasing in number. You're becoming
       | cheaper to hire, replace. Enjoy that privilege while it lasts,
       | because it won't last for that long.
       | 
       | If companies shouldn't be responsible for taking care of their
       | employees in their hard times, they shouldn't try and replace the
       | state as the apparatus of care for the disprivileged, they
       | shouldn't capture and commodify access to livelihood and
       | wellbeing, they shouldn't attempt to bust unions, support "small"
       | government nonsense, and they should pay their taxes in full or
       | even in extra. If a company won't be liable for when the employee
       | has no chance to be productive, then that person is entitled to
       | something to fall back on.
       | 
       | But of course that's not a thing because with the system that's
       | in place, our livelihoods is a carrot-on-the-stick in front of us
       | used to extract labour from us, and when we're spent we're sent
       | to the recycling bin. And you folk are those who so far have been
       | on the winning side of this shitty deal, either as employees or
       | as employers, temporarily for most of you, but having pulled
       | thyselves up, you can't but kick down, and look down upon the
       | rest.
       | 
       | This whole thing is really toxic and boring and uncool and
       | honestly a pile of shit. Your corporate shilling here is pure
       | unadulterated boot licking, and I throw up in my mouth reading
       | it. But I like reading it. It validates my decision from many
       | years ago. For however much of an economic improvement a tech
       | career would have been for yours truly, I'd much rather eat my
       | shoes than spend a moment of my day with the likes of you.
        
       | eschneider wrote:
       | The thing about companies that treat other people badly, be it
       | other workers, vendors, or customers is that , if you work for
       | them, eventually they'll get around to treating you badly. :/
        
         | heavyset_go wrote:
         | This rule also applies to people who treat others badly.
        
       | a-dub wrote:
       | having been through a similar situation myself (where the outcome
       | has spilled over from the place i was working when it occurred to
       | contaminate following business relationships) i've thought a lot
       | about what went wrong and what i wish would/could have happened.
       | 
       | i think, really, what would be ideal, would be some sort of pause
       | or alternate low stress duties that can be put on the job.
       | perhaps some sort of salary reduction, or maybe insurance that
       | covers the lost wages at the time, that allows for time to deal
       | with these things properly and then a proper return where one
       | isn't caught between trying to deliver in a high stakes
       | environment and being a reasonable human in family/home matters.
       | 
       | i've seen some comments along the lines of "people who work in
       | trades don't get this sort of benefit." yeah, that's not totally
       | true... and computering for dollars is different, a
       | depressed/mentally stressed programmer is like an electrician
       | with a skeletal injury. a friend of mine is an electrician and
       | when he injured himself, the union found a desk job for him until
       | he was able to heal. i feel like something similar should exist
       | for computer people.
        
       | drdeadringer wrote:
       | In the film "A Good Year", the main character reaches a crossing
       | point between his successful career [high, big finance] and his
       | budding rediscovered life [a vineyard].
       | 
       | He is offered the coveted, prestigious Partnership. Rich for
       | life. Known around the globe. Power. Influence. Move mountains.
       | Meet Kings.
       | 
       | Or.
       | 
       | He can make efforts to reboot a vineyard in another country. It's
       | fallowed somewhat over the decades but it has promise if given
       | attention. The wine was and can be again good; there is a
       | reputation to (re)harness.
       | 
       | His boss calls him to carpet. "So, here it is. Your money or your
       | life."
       | 
       | A vineyard isn't brain cancer; the point remains the same. There
       | are times when you need to choose over the other.
        
       | eecc wrote:
       | I need to find the words to describe my feelings about this.
       | 
       | Definitely involves drawing negative conclusions about Amazon.
       | 
       | I feel lucky that despite my recent losses, I didn't have to deal
       | with this horror.
        
       | bserge wrote:
       | Yeah, had a coworker die and they didn't allow anyone to attend
       | the funeral. Like, you'd get written up if you skipped the day.
       | No one gave a fuck, so that's good. Too many people are garbage.
        
         | manuel_w wrote:
         | Had a coworker die and the company explicitely allowed everyone
         | to violate core time for that day. As it became apparant that
         | quite a few people would attend (it was a well-respected
         | collegue, a genuinely nice man) they even booked a bus to the
         | funeral and back so things would be a bit more streamlined.
         | 
         | Employer was the automotive part of bosch.at. Thought that
         | deserves some public appraisal.
         | 
         | Disclaimer: I'm no longer employed there.
        
         | jliptzin wrote:
         | That is absolutely ridiculous
        
         | gilney wrote:
         | also Amazon?
        
           | bserge wrote:
           | No, but it was the biggest company in the industry in the UK.
           | I can only guess when you become a manager they take you for
           | special reprogramming.
        
             | javert wrote:
             | It would be helpful if you would edit your original
             | comment, because you're literally saying it was Amazon.
             | 
             | The "they" is unspecified, so presumably it refers to the
             | subject of the article you're commenting on, i.e. Amazon.
        
         | nick_ wrote:
         | "wOrK lIfE bAlAnCe"
        
       | conductr wrote:
       | FWIW, many big companies in US have HR policies and they have
       | middle manager's/VPs that ignore the crappy parts and do what's
       | right.
       | 
       | My wife had cancer in early 30s and it was a punch to the gut for
       | us both. It was actually a very survivable thing but she had to
       | go through some extreme treatments. Regarding work, she did some
       | paperwork and went through the HR stuff for most but there was a
       | lot of "off the books" type stuff that fell into her leader's
       | "who cares about this place, put your health first" policy.
       | 
       | I wasn't even sick and honestly didn't even get any additional
       | stress other than worrying for her (we had no kids yet, her mom
       | was helping her daily) and my ability to perform was shot. I
       | could barely keep a thought in my mind or give a shit about petty
       | work "problems". Probably for a solid 6-12 months. The first 3
       | months were and still are a complete fog. I never officially told
       | my company HR, but my leadership was extremely supportive and I
       | basically just phoned it in for that year. I did no significant
       | work and offloaded most of my responsibilities to others so that
       | I was not a key part of anything.
       | 
       | When you go through something like this, you start to learn how
       | much other people have gone through as well. They feel obligated
       | to pull you aside and share their story and how things turned out
       | for them. Often positive stories but obviously not always. But
       | generally people treat people in these situations how they'd like
       | to be treated as, it could happen to any of us.
       | 
       | Just wanted to throw some positive perspective out there. Amazon
       | is a well known shitty place to work for humans. I'm not
       | surprised by this article. I dodge their phone calls like many of
       | you and encourage you to get to know your coworkers on a deeper &
       | personal level. They are a more important part of your life than
       | you may realize and will help carry you through some really rough
       | spots if you let them.
        
       | advael wrote:
       | My days of being unwilling to work at any large tech company
       | regardless of compensation are certainly coming to a middle
        
       | 541 wrote:
       | Looks like it's not just Amazon. Here is another incident
       | discussed on HN involving Atlassian
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28555480
        
       | Stampo00 wrote:
       | We've seen these stories before. We need to keep seeing them
       | until something is done about it. I just hope we don't get
       | desensitized before that happens. Because then it will be
       | accepted as normal.
        
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